“I just had an idea pop into my head about something to do this coming weekend, and I wanted to bounce it off you two before it slips my mind” My friend Natasha said those words as the three of us sat on my couch one afternoon. I found myself sitting up slightly. Normally, Natasha was the last of our group to suggest things to do, letting Vinny, the third member of our group, or I come up with the plans to keep our free time occupied. The fact she was about to suggest something intrigued me. “What have you got in mind?” I asked her. A smile played over her face as her brown eyes seemed to flash. “How about a little ghost hunting?”
I felt Vinny sit straight up beside me. She had clearly grabbed both our attention now. The three of us were what you might call amateur ghost hunters, using very basic items we bought offline to visit some of the spookier places in the area and posting our adventures on YouTube, sort of like a crappier version of Ghost Adventures. “Now that’s one hell of a good idea” Vinny said, before a puzzled expression spread over his face. “But, I mean, where? We’ve already done most of the places around town. The Tioga building won’t let us in after that…well, what that one resident claims we stirred up in the old ballroom, and I’m not about to make the hours long drive to the Wolf Creek Inn” Natasha’s smile grew wider. “No, we don’t have to even go out of town for this one” she said, her voice dropping low, “What I’m suggesting, is we check out…” her voice trailed off, letting the suspense grow for a few seconds before finishing, “The Egyptian Theatre”
Instantly, Vinny let out a harsh bark of laughter. “HA! Now that’s a good one. You know damn good and well that the society that runs the theater won’t allow us in after hours to ghost hunt. As far as I know, they’ve never allowed any paranormal teams into the place” He pulled a face. “So, how exactly do you propose we get in there? You flutter your eyelashes for the night janitor and use your feminine charms to get us in?” Natasha still grinned, but rolled her eyes at our friend’s quip. “No, actually, I was thinking about using my lock picking skills to get us in” she declared. It was my turn to give her an incredulous look. “You’re joking, right?” I asked. She shook her head. “Nope, I’m dead serious” I let out an incredulous, almost baffled snort of laughter and pulled my glasses off my face, rubbing my eyes.
The country, and, to a large extent, the entire world, became gripped in an interest, sometimes bordering on obsession with all things Egyptian when King Tut’s tomb was discovered over a century ago. Many things came out of this, including the classic 1932 monster movie The Mummy. But, one thing that also came of this fever gripping the country was a desire to build many Egyptian style buildings. And one of the buildings which took this design and ran with it, were the movie theatres. A decade after the legendary discovery, over a hundred theatres had gone up all around the country, their interiors clad with fake temple columns, paintings of sphinxes and Egyptian gods such as Anubis decorating the walls, and hieroglyphs adorning the archways. People flocked in droves to them, both to watch movies, and live performances. But, like all trends, eventually, the interest began to wane, and as the late 20th Century approached, many began to shut down and be either remodeled, or straight up demolished. Today, there’s only between five and eight Egyptian style theatres left in the entire country.
And one just so happens to be right in the town I live in.
When I moved to Coos Bay, Oregon nine years ago, I immediately fell in love with the place. Even though it’s the largest coastal town on the Oregon coast, it’s a place which is more or less perpetually frozen in time, still looking pretty much as it did between thirty and seventy years ago. And, as someone who is not exactly into the modern world, it made a perfect place for me to live and escape away from the 21st Century. I began exploring right away, driving every street of it and the town neighboring it, North Bend, along with walking every alley and back road I could to learn the layout. That’s how I learned about the supernatural element to the town.
There are many places in town which people claim supernatural occurrences take place. From the remains of the old logging buildings on the estuary, to the old Tioga Hotel which has been remodeled into apartments, there is no shortage of ghostly tales. There was even the old McCauley Hospital, which had once been the focal point of the town’s annual ghost walks until it was demolished in 2018. As a side note, I heard a rumor that a couple people broke into that place right before it got torn down. Something sure spooked them, because a friend of mine on the police force told me they gave him a fright, bursting in the night before Easter and rambling about something. I always wondered what they saw in there.
But, for me, the place in town I always loved the most, and enjoyed the most hearing about the ghostly accounts told, was the Egyptian Theatre.
Originally built as a garage in 1922, it was renovated by a man named Charles Noble into a movie theatre in 1925, where it drew in droves of people from around the area to watch films, and enjoy live vaudeville performances. It continued to operate almost to the end of the 20th Century, when other theatres began to attract younger moviegoers, and for a while, it almost seemed as though the historic building might even be closed for good and gutted. But, thanks to the efforts of local preservation societies, it was saved, and now operates as a theatre once again. They mostly play only older movies, along with live performances.
And, of course, it draws curious people for the paranormal rumors surrounding it.
For years, people have reported strange occurrences happening inside the building, both when it’s open, and after hours. Patrons and employees alike have spoken about a pervasive feeling of being watched inside the building, but finding no one there when the place was searched. There have been reports of being touched by invisible hands, a few even pushed slightly. Beyond physical interaction, employees have reported the sounds of old film projectors playing and unseen audiences laughing after hours, along with the eerie playing of the theatre’s Wurlitzer pipe organ, along with a host of other occurrences. No ghost hunting team has ever gone in to try and document these events. And to Natasha, that was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Legal, or not.
“Are you freaking nuts?!” Vinny exclaimed, “Do you have any idea how much trouble we’d be in if we got caught breaking and entering? The cops around here are already a bit twitchy with the druggies and the homeless. You wanna give them a reason to throw us into jail alongside them?” Natasha held up a finger, flipping her black hair over her shoulder. “They won’t find out, because I have not one, but two aces in the hole here. The first is that thanks to being friends with Scott, I know the nighttime police sweeps, where they’re going to be and everything. There’ll be an hour long window where they’re not anywhere near the alley where the back door to the theatre is. We can get in and out with no threat of being spotted at all. And the second is, did you forget I’m dating Dylan now?” The realization washed over me like a wave; she had started dating the man who helped the preservation society run the theatre a month or so ago. Damn, she’s been planning this one for a while, I thought.
Vinny had a thoughtful look on his face, his green eyes darting around rapidly, but not seeing. “Hmm” he muttered, then looked at Natasha. “And you’re sure that there’s no chance of us getting caught?” he asked slowly. “Absolutely none” she said, then looked at both of us. “So, how about it?” For a few moments, there was silence, and then Vinny let out a chuckle. “What the hell, why not? The most exciting thing we’ve done the last few weeks is go down to the farmer’s market. This could shake things up a bit” I suddenly became aware that the two of them were looking at me, waiting for me to make my decision. I was always the most sensible of the three of us, doing all I could to keep us out of trouble with others as well as the law. But, I always had one nasty Achilles Heel ever since I had been a child, and that was peer pressure. So, despite the overwhelming feeling that I should tell them no, that I should say we should just find something else to do, I nodded. “Alright, let’s do it” I said simply, causing grins to break out on both of my friend’s faces.
I wish to God in retrospect that I’d just had the damn spine to stand up and say “No”
The rest of the week seemed to pass by faster than usual. Before I knew it, the weekend had arrived. We’d decided that late Saturday night would be the best time to do this, as most places downtown closed up between eleven and midnight, aside from the bars and strip club. To say I felt anxious about breaking the law, something I wasn’t used to doing at all, would be like calling a Megalodon a goldfish, but my worries about disappointing my friends ended up outweighing it. And so, at eleven-thirty, the three of us piled into my beat up Chevy Tahoe, and made our way towards downtown. As I drove us down Ocean Boulevard, which connected the two sides of town, something settled over me. I can’t exactly place it, even to this day. But it was the most uneasy feeling I’ve ever experienced. But I did my best to push it away. It’s nothing, Troy. It’s just because you’re, understandably, worried about this. Plus, the road being deserted isn’t helping much.
My mental chiding seemed to help center me a bit, which was a good thing. The road was now angling downward, and a moment later, we drove into downtown. The darkened shapes of the closed stores seemed to rise up higher on either side of us than they looked during the daytime. We’d decided to cruise by the front entrance first, just to see if anyone were still inside. As I turned the truck onto the main drag, the sign for the theatre rose high above us, a depiction of an Egyptian pharaoh next to the yellow and white letters which proclaimed its name to everyone who drove through town. I spared a glance as we passed it. The lit up marquee windows showed that The Blues Brothers and Jaws would be shown soon. For whatever reason, though, I couldn’t bring myself to look through the glass doors that showed the building’s darkened interior. The uneasy feeling had returned, and, for a moment, it felt as though if I did look, I would see someone, or something staring back out at me. And then we passed it, taking the next right and looping back around to Anderson Ave.
I turned the truck into the narrow alley drive which ran along the back of the theatre and neighboring buildings. Parking right next to the rear doors would be extremely conspicuous, so I pulled up a bit further and parked in a carport like area. Shutting off the engine, I turned to my two friends. “Well, this is it” I said, “Last chance to turn back if anyone’s having second thoughts” I’d hoped that either Vinny or Natasha would’ve gotten cold feet in the last few minutes, allowing us to go do something else. But there was no such luck. “Are you kidding me?” Natasha said from the passenger seat, “We are far too close to back out now!” Vinny grunted from behind me. Well, shit. Resigning myself to the fact they were determined to go through with this, I let a deep breath out through my nose and nodded. The others opened their doors and hopped out. A moment later, I followed.
The night air was cool and crisp on my skin as we slowly walked back down the alley to the rear of the yellow-ish, tan building. Three different sets of red double doors were built into the back of the theatre. Natasha pulled something out of her coat pocket, and I realized, with a small pang of surprise, that it was a lock pick set. A legitimate lock pick set. “Where the hell did you get that?” I whispered to her. She shrugged and smiled. “I have my ways of getting things” she said simply, then pointed to the far right set of doors. “We’ll have a bit of cover from that electrical box. You two keep an eye out while I deal with the lock” And with that, she scurried forward, bending down in front of the door handles. Vinny and I stood guard, each of us looking down both ends of the alley. As the soft sound of Natasha messing with the lock filtered over to me, I realized just how quiet it was. And how eerie hearing downtown so quiet was. Aside from a few distant booms and bangs, and the far off sound of a dog barking, all I could hear was the whistle of the wind as it whipped between the old buildings.
An involuntary shiver cascaded up my spine, and I tried again to reason myself back to a relative sense of calm. “Get a grip, dude, you’re gonna be fine” I whispered under my breath. But this time, it felt as though I weren’t able to entirely convince myself. I suddenly became aware of a creeping sensation, one which made me shoot a look around. Nothing moved in the stillness, no indication of anyone besides us being in the alley. And, yet…I was overcome with the distinct feeling of being watched. Not by either of my friends. But…by someone else. Before I had a chance to even think about it, I heard a rather loud click, and Natasha let out a soft laugh of triumph. “We’re in, ladies and gentleman!” she declared, standing up and pulling on the door. It opened silently, the streetlight in the alley casting a small shaft of light into the darkness beyond. Turning, she waved an arm at Vinny and I. “Come on, let’s get inside”
Before either of us could say anything, she turned and disappeared into the dark. I shot a look at Vinny, who simply shrugged. “After you, my man” he whispered. I let out a deep sigh, and then moved to the door. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the small flashlight, and then pulled on the heavy metal, slipping inside, Vinny right behind me. The darkness swallowed us as the door closed. For a moment, a small rush of panic from not being able to see flashed through me, before a light appeared beside me. It wasn’t from a flashlight, though; instead, a small, orange flame flickered beside me. “Don’t turn on your flashlights yet, just follow me” Natasha said, the flame making her face seem to dance and move behind it. She turned and headed away, leaving us no choice but to follow. I listened to her and didn’t turn on my flashlight. But every fiber of my being was screaming at me to. Because the feeling of being watched out in the alleyway? Had quintupled in here. The best way to describe it, was that we were angrily being stared at. And I didn’t like the sensation one bit.
Natasha led us up a flight of steps and pushed open another door. “We’re here” she said, still keeping her voice low, “You can turn on your flashlights now” Thank you, God, I silently said, snapping mine on and casting a bright white light into the room we’d entered. A moment later, so did my two friends’ lights. The beams played around, and I heard Vinny let out a bit of a gasp. “Ho-lyyyy shit” he muttered.
Natasha had guided us into the main theatre. The ceiling rose high above our heads, almost out of sight of even the flashlights. Rows upon rows of red movie seats stretched out and away from us, seeming almost unending in the shadows. The walls were all covered in hieroglyphs, all still original from the 1920s. To our left, the second story, which housed a smaller row of seats, along with the projection room rose about twenty feet above us. And to the right, was the stage itself. It was flanked by two huge columns, the screen rolled up and revealing a mosaic of an Egyptian building on the back wall, with two men clutching staffs sitting on either side. Directly in front of the stage sat the organ, its seating bench tucked beneath it.
“Okay, this is a trip to be in at night!” Natasha exclaimed excitedly, then pulled the backpack she’d been wearing off her shoulders. Dropping it into a seat, she unzipped it and began pulling items from it. “Guys, here” she said, holding them out. Vinny stepped forward and grabbed the camcorder from her; as someone who’d had a lifelong dream of being a filmmaker, he was our resident cameraman. I stepped forward and took two items from her: an infrared thermometer and an EVP recorder. The rest, she placed on the ground, and then faced Vinny. “Alright, tell me when you’re recording” He fumbled with the camcorder for a second, then shot her a thumbs up. Instantly, she took on a somber, eerie expression, giving an admittedly creepy look at the camera. “Well, well, welcome back to The Three Ghostkuteers, everyone. I hope you all have been well since our last trip. Tonight, you join us in a very, very special place, and one close to home for us. We are currently in the Egyptian Theatre in Coos Bay, Oregon, one of the last remaining in the country. It was built in the 1920s by a man named Charles Noble-“
I turned away, tuning her out as I did. The woman really, really enjoys being in front of the camera. Better her than me. Shining my light around, I looked up at the balcony. I could see the small hole in the projection booth where the movie projector would shine out onto the screen. Something caught the beam’s light, reflecting off it slightly, and I aimed the light at the wall. It was a wrought iron light fixture, one which had been shaped into the figure of a King Cobra, poised to strike. Gazing around, I saw they adorned much of the walls. I let out a small shudder at it. God, do I hate snakes. Thankfully, though, the feeling of being watched I’d had in the alley and the darkened back of the theatre had seemingly disappeared. Yeah, see, what’d I tell you, Troy? Nothing but your nerves.
Natasha had finished her opening monologue and moved to the edge of the stage, on which she placed the small, square spirit box. “And now, let’s see if anyone would like to speak with us” she said, flicking it on. Instantly, the silence of the theatre was shattered by the sound of static, intermittently interrupted by quick snippets of radio shows being picked up. “Is there anyone here who’d like to talk to us?” she called out into the huge room. The static and snippets were the only sound to answer her. After a minute, she tried again. “Are there any spirits who’d like to communicate with us?” There was still nothing. Vinny panned the camera from the box to Natasha as she paced back and forth for a few minutes. A small look of disappointment flooded over her face, but she instantly plastered it over with the same look she’d given the camera before. “Well, it looks like the spirit box isn’t gonna work tonight, so we’re gonna have to try something else” She pulled out an EVP recorder identical to mine and switched it on. “Let’s try this instead, shall we? Remember, by the way guys, if you’re new here and want to see more, to like and subscribe-“
I turned away again, feeling a small pang of irritation flow through me. This is freakin’ ridiculous, man. The longer we stay in here, the more chance we have of getting caught. Truth be told, as much as I enjoyed ghost hunting, I didn’t even really believe in the paranormal. In all the years the three of us had filmed together, not once had we caught anything, on tape or otherwise. In fact, many times we’d had to fake spooky occurrences in order to make sure our videos got any views at all. This is your own fault, man, I silently chided myself, you’re the one who couldn’t stand up to them and say no. You really, seriously need to grown a spine and learn how to say no. The mental self lecture was furthering my rotten mood, and I began to feel a wave of anger at my two friends, as well as myself boil up.
“Hell with this” I finally muttered, then turned and began walking up the aisle. “Troy, where the hell are you going?” I heard Natasha call out behind me. I stopped, not looking over my shoulder, but quietly aiming my voice behind me and allowing a hint of irritation to seep into it. “I’m gonna go check out the second floor balcony, okay? I don’t exactly like just standing here” For a moment, there was silence, and then her voice came, soft and almost apologetic. “Okay, go ahead” Before she could say anything more, I strode away, walking to the open doorway which led out of the theater and into the concession area. I hooded my flashlight beam with one hand to make sure it wouldn’t accidentally shine out of the glass entrance doors into the street and looked around. The lobby and concession stand took up most of the front area, the darkened shape of it stretching along the far wall.
Taking a few steps ahead, I turned and looked up at the wall above me. Large, blue letters stretched out from one side of it to the other. Through these doors pass the most wonderful people. I snorted softly. “Yeah, unfortunately, not tonight” I shook my head, then looked around. And nearly jumped out of my skin. Something also seemed to jump back. I felt my heartbeat begin to race in my chest and my breath quickened. “Shit…” I let out weakly, then slowly moved forward. After a few steps, I suddenly realized what I’d seen and let out a soft laugh of relief.
“Your own damn reflection, you fucking pussy” Shaking my head, I turned away from the glass wall and headed for the stairs to the second floor. At the base of them, I stopped and shone my flashlight up. “Ooh, boy” I said quietly. Sitting next to the stairway like a sentry, was a huge, golden statue of a pharaoh. It towered over me, and I estimated that, were it be standing straight up, it’d easily be between eight and ten feet tall. It stared straight ahead at the wall ahead of it, and I couldn’t help but let out a small shiver as I stared at it. It just seemed so damn eerie in the dark, and I quickly moved past it, heading up the stairs and stepping out onto the second story balcony.
I shone my light around. Red seats again surrounded me, though this time far fewer. Ahead of me, I could see the balcony’s edge and the hulking shape of the main stage beyond. I could also see the beams of my friends’ flashlights playing over it, and hear both of their voices speaking softly. Deciding while I was up here to at least check out the projection booth, I strode over to the door and tried to turn the handle. It was locked. Feeling my irritation bubble over into exasperation, I jiggled the handle in some stupid attempt to open it. But the door stayed shut. I turned away and rubbed my eyes, again hearing the voices of my friends softly filtering up to me from down below.
“Hey, if there really are any ghosts, or spooks, or specters, or whatever in here? If you’re actually real, could you appear to us, please?” I whispered to no one, “That way my friends can get what they want and I can go home” I received only silence in reply. I hadn’t really expected anything, anyways. You know what? Screw this, I’m going back down there and telling them I’m going home, with or without them. This is beyond stupid, I just broke the law for what? For nothing! For something dumb as hell. And with that, I turned to walk away. But I hadn’t even taken a single step when something crashed into me like a wave. The breath was driven from my lungs as I felt a massive chill shoot through me, as though I’d been doused with ice water. “What the fuck?!” I hissed through gritted teeth, then froze, my eyes going wide. The feeling of being watched had returned with a vengeance, and it had seemingly been ramped up in its intensity. I shot a look around, but saw nobody.
Still, the feeling remained, and with each passing second, it almost seemed to grow stronger. Chill after chill rolled up my spine, and even though I didn’t really believe, something deep inside me told me that it was time to get out. Okay, time to leave, I said in my head, and headed quickly for the stairs. As I reached the head, I turned to look back one final time. That’s when I saw something. It disappeared when I aimed my flashlight at it, but I swear a second earlier it had been the outline of a person, standing in the shadows and watching me. The split second sight catapulted me into motion, and I hurried down the steps, shining my light every which way but loose. Believer or not, I knew something wanted us out. I’d planned on jumping off the second to last stair and running for the main theatre floor. But as I reached the bottom, I froze.
For a moment, I couldn’t place why. And then, the realization fell over me like a tsunami. I let out an involuntary gasp, and fear like I’d never felt before surged through me. I didn’t want to turn around and look. I wanted to pretend I hadn’t seen it. I desperately wanted to. But, like a dumbass character in a horror movie, I couldn’t help it. I needed to look. I slowly turned, aiming my flashlight back up. And I couldn’t help but let out a strangled scream, falling backwards over my own feet as I began to backpedal rapidly.
The statue of the pharaoh still sat where it had. It still towered over me, looking as imposing and eerie as ever. But it’s carved and painted eyes were no longer staring straight ahead at the wall. Instead, they had somehow moved. And when I’d turned, I’d come to find they were staring directly at me.
I scrambled to my feet, snatching the flashlight from the floor where I’d dropped it and aiming it at the statue again. It stared straight out at nothing again. But I knew what I’d seen. It hadn’t been a trick of my mind, or the light. The freaking thing’s eyes had moved to watch me as I passed down by it. I began to stammer out as I backed away from it. “Okay, that’s it, no no no no, we’re done here, fuck this shit, I’m officially a believer, we’re leaving, right now” I kept backing towards the doorway to the theatre, never taking my eyes off the statue. I was terrified I’d seen it suddenly stand up and turn to lumber after me like Boris Karloff or something.
The blaring sound of the theatre’s organ slashed through the silence, causing me to let out another strangled scream and jump almost a foot off the ground. I whipped around, thinking I would see my moronic friends tinkering with the instrument. Instead, I froze again. The theatre was no longer dark. Both of my friends had seemingly vanished from the room, as I could no longer see them. The movie screen had somehow been pulled down, and above me, I heard the whir of the movie projector playing. An old, black and white movie, one which had no sound, played on the screen, occasionally changing to show dialogue being displayed in white letters.
It was also no longer empty.
The entire theatre was packed. I saw people sitting at almost every single seat in the huge room. I could only see the backs of their heads as they watched the movie playing. At the edge of the stage, what looked like a man now sat at the organ, playing it in time with the film. A slapstick moment came across the screen, and the audience began laughing. In any other situation, it would’ve been a comforting sound. But at that moment, it was the most spine chilling sound I’d ever heard. Especially as another wave of realization crashed into me. From the little I could see, everyone in the theatre looked to be dressed in long passed fashions.
That’s when the voice, low and quiet, came from behind me. “Good evening, sir” it said. It sounded like a man’s voice, one rather low and deep pitched, but something about it paralyzed me on the spot. The voice continued, putting on an air of pleasant politeness. “We’re so glad you could make it, it’s been so long since we’ve had new patrons arrive at a showing. If I could just see your ticket, please?”
For a moment, I couldn’t speak. Then, I managed to squeak out two words. “Uh, ticket?” The tone of the voice seemed to change somewhat. “Yes, your ticket. That’s the only way you could’ve gotten in. Please, let me verify it and show you to your seat” Ohhh, shit. Whoever, or whatever the voice belonged to, thought I had shown up like a regular moviegoer. The voice’s tone became less polite. “You do have a ticket, right, sir?” I was beyond terrified to answer, but I was more terrified to remain silent. For a moment, I considered lying. But I feared what might happen if I did. So I told the truth.
“I….uh, I, uh….I don’t have a ticket, sir” I stammered out, my voice barely above a whisper. Instantly, all sound stopped in the room like someone had flipped a switch. “You…don’t have a ticket?” the voice said, all pretense of manners vanishing from it, “Then how did you get in here for the late night showing?” Oh, god. I forced myself to speak, still unable to say anything except the truth. “My…my friends and I….broke in…through the back door…to…ghost hunt…” There was silence for a few moments, and then a heavy hand dropped onto my shoulder. My head swiveled to look at it. Oh, fuck me sideways. It wasn’t a regular hand. It was a fucking claw. One with black skin, tipped with what looked like razor sharp nails. It sat there for a moment, then tightened; almost painfully so, making me let out a small whimper of pain.
That’s when I looked up. Everyone in the theatre had turned to look at me. My initial thought had been correct; they all wore clothing from almost a century ago, and not the stuff cosplayers wear, either. They also had very angry expressions on their faces, as if they’d just noticed the intruder among their midst. The voice finally came again, almost directly behind me. Its tone lowered, almost sounding guttural and animal, making my legs almost melt into jelly from the fear. “Then, might I make a suggestion to you and your trespassing little friends?” My breath came in rapid, ragged gasps, and I barely managed to force out the one word. “Yes?”
“LEAVE”
At the single word reply, which now more closely resembled a growl than a word, I did something I will forever wish I hadn’t. I finally turned and looked up at who was addressing me. The only way I can describe what happened is, my mind shattered. The next thing I remember, I was crashing into the back doors of the theatre into the night.
And I was screaming.
That was a month or so ago. When I’d stumbled back into the alley, I’d turned and, in what I can only call blind fear and panic, bolted for my truck. I hadn’t even heard my friends chasing after me. Not until Vinny caught up to me as I scrambled with my keys, grabbing me from behind and turning me to face him. He said the look I’d had on my face scared him and Natasha more than anything ever had before. I’d been pale as a sheet, my eyes wider than they ever thought a human’s could be. I'd been babbling softly. I’d been saying the words “They want us to leave” over and over. They didn’t ask me what had happened. They just pushed me into the backseat of my truck and drove away from there. It was clear, as I found out later on, that both of them hadn’t seen anything. As far as they were concerned before seeing me dash to the rear doors, it was just an empty theatre. Neither one of them ever asked me what I saw that night. And for that, I’m thankful. Because I could never utter from my lips what I did see.
But I’ve had nightmares since then. Horrible ones. Ones that’ve been so bad, I had to let out what happened to me, deciding to just post it here, regardless of whether people believe me or not.
Nightmares about being back in that theatre after hours. About seeing that pharaoh statue’s eyes flick in its painted sockets to look at me. About seeing all those people, people long since dead, sitting and watching the films they did when they were alive. About seeing that hand fall on my shoulder, hearing that voice, telling me not to come back until I have a ticket.
And about turning to see who the hand and voice belonged to.
The Egyptian Theatre will be celebrating its centennial this year. People are planning to show up in 1920s cars, dressed in period clothing. They’re even going to show an old, silent film as part of the festivities. But I won’t be attending it. I won’t ever go anywhere near it again. The one time I tried, a week or so ago, I started trembling with fear. And the mental image played over and over in my head.
The image of turning to see that horrible canine head attached to the human-like body, red, glowing eyes glaring down at me as it’s sharp teeth glinted in the light.
I pray to god I never will end up with a ticket to one of its late night showings.
But I can't help but fear that, like those packed into the theatre, sooner or later, we all will.

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On the whole, things were actually looking up for Efrain at least as far as he could reckon. It was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one that Naia had reached out to him. Adding on top of it that at least one of the children had fallen right into his lap, he might come away from this trip with more than near-death experiences.
The trio was sitting on the wooden floor of the waggon, the morning light rapidly brightening. It wouldn’t be long before the paladin’s awoke, by Efrain’s reckoning, so they’d best be quick.
“Well,” Efrain began, “I’ll let you ask three questions. That’s all we have time for today.”
Having a student, a proper student, was a prospect that he enjoyed more than he cared to admit. Aya took her time, drumming her fingers on the floor as she tried to come up with whatever her mind demanded of him.
“What is magic? What’s the difference between magic and miracles? And… what am I?”
Three, concise. Innie stirred at the first two, and Efrai guessed that Aya had already asked them before.
“‘What is magic’ is a matter of some debate. In the most practical sense, it’s a way of manipulating the world. Some have worshipped it as divine or spiritual. Some haven’t,” Efrain answered, “though, if you want my personal opinion, magic is a process of discovery, just as mathematics or philosophy is. It requires skill, or talent, most of all, dedication and practice.”
She nodded, this definition perhaps striking a cord with her.
“The difference between magic and miracles?” he said, “Well, I’m not entirely sure what miracles you’re referring to, but I can certainly attest that there are those that pass off magic as miracles.”
Aya stiffed slightly as it, and Efrain guessed from where the questions had sprung.
“Ah. I would’ve imagined the paladins said something like that. Self-aggrandizing hogwash - they use magic, I use magic. It’s fundamentally the same thing.”
He left out the part about how radically inefficient their methods likely were - that was for a later time.
“But the church says-”
“That magic is a sin. Something used by people in dark places?” snorted Efrain, “Angorrah used to be a centre of magical education, though the church would never admit that. I myself used to dwell there, many years ago.”
“The madame said that you would know about the night of the Burning Tree,” said Aya, looking at the cat, “that you lived through it.”
Efrain, at the usage of the word ‘madame’, also looked at the cat, significantly less impressed than his young charge. He indeed had lived through it, although he couldn’t recall it.
“It was over three centuries ago,” he said, “complete chaos. Partisans from the lands conquered during the Helgacite expansion. Angry youths from the Academies who felt betrayed by the church, mixing with other factions. Worst of all was the portion of the military that wanted to overthrow the ruling authority. The Night of the Burning Tree was a poorly thought out riot.”
Once more, the hypocrisy of the unknown haunted his assertion.
“I left the city not long after,” he said, “the writing was on the wall at that point. The church was preparing for decades to destroy the Academy, and that night was the perfect excuse for them to do so. Sometimes I wonder…”
Aya leaned forwards, clearly interested in this history he recounted.
“But that’s not relevant to your questions, nice try,” he said, leaving his suspicions on who exactly had set fire to the sacred tree to himself, “as for your third question - what are you.”
Out of habit, a long finger reached up to scratch at his temple.
“You are an enigma, a mystery. I don’t think I’ve encountered anything quite like you, and, believe me, between books and my own travels, that is not a low bar. It’s rare to stumble on someone so unique.”
Efrain was conscious of how bright it was beginning to get.
“Perhaps we’ll find some answers as we continue to explore magic together,” he put together quickly, “but alas, that’ll have to wait for another time. Best that you get back to your fellows. Quick now.”
Satisfied, at least for the moment, Aya thanked him, and with a little bow to Innie, quickly got out of the wagon and departed.
“A bow?” he said to his long-time companion.
“I was never going to get it from you,” she said, snorted, “besides, how long will it be before you get her calling you ‘teacher’?”
Efrain decided that was fair and not to press the point.
“I’m going to find Tykhon, I’d rather ride him than be in this rickety thing on a forest path,” he said, “also, have you see Clarallel?”
“She seems to be having a ball,” Innie said, “There’s no shortage of injuries for her to treat.”
“Oh, goodie,” he said, “at least she’s been keeping busy I’m sure.”
Efrain made his way around the camp, not taking long before finding another class taking place. Claralelle was inscribing lines in the dirt with a stick, depicting this muscle and that, while a collection of mostly shirtless men and women stood around her. As she explained its shape and what connected into what, she indicated so on her model - a vaguely embarrassed looking young soldier in the middle.
Efrain leaned against a tree, studying the reactions of the soldiers as Claralle launched into a fairly in depth explanation of the forces involved in a sword swing. To their credit, most of them seemed fascinated, and one was even scribbling hasty notes on a piece of parchment. As the lesson wrapped up, and the soldiers departed speaking in hushed tones, Efrain walked up behind Clara.
“My. Seems you’re gaining a following,” he said.
“Something like that?” she said in her customary joyous tone, “they’re interested. I’m interested. I might as well share!”
“Indeed,” he said, “keep in mind not to complain about the church too heavily, lest you land in hot water with some.”
She gave him a blank look, and it occurred to Efrain that she might not even know the slightest about the church, other than it existed.
“Anyways,” he continued, “I wanted to know what your plans were. Now that we’re out of both frying pan and fire.”
“Oh, I have no idea,” she said.
“...really?”
“I suppose I should go find another flesh lord, and complete my training. Or set up my own practice and… practice. Oh, and I like to read, and there are a lot of books. And there are a lot of people to treat as well!”
“Uh-huh,” Efrain murmured, “well, I don’t know about any others, but I can certainly introduce you to Carnes. Whether or not they’d be willing to take you on as a student is another story.”
“Also, I should find the skull of my master, if it hasn’t been crushed to dust by now,” she said, “we used to joke that I would strip it of the flesh and boil it. Then I’d put a little hat on it, or maybe use it to drink wine from. I don’t entirely remember.”
“They may have been joking.”
“No, I don’t think so. Either way, he’s dead, so he doesn’t have the luxury of choice.”
“Well, then,” Efrain said, clearing his throat to change the subject, “is it on to Angorrah, then? That’s where Carnes is, if you’re interested in meeting them.”
She nodded in a manner that was akin to a shrug, hoisting one of her many tool belts onto her pleated skirts.
“I’ve never been in a big city, I would like to see one,” she said.
“Don’t let me stop you,” he said, deciding not to mention the kind of reception she might receive there.
“Well, then, what about you? Are you going to the city? Seems like as bad an idea for me as it is for you.”
“Granted,” he said, “I’m not sure yet. We’ll be in Karkos in a few days, and we’ll see what happens. By the way, you don’t happen to have a pair of cups that you could spare, do you?”
“You could just take one or two from the ground. They leave them around all the time. I don’t think they’ll notice if they go missing.”
“And you know that because… you’ve done it before,” he said.
She nodded vigorously, before turning and walking away.
Efrain began to walk to the outskirts of the camp, looking for an unaccompanied piece of dishware or two. Clara was soon proven right, as he found that there were quite a few, enough for him to select a set of shallow wooden constructs between a plate and bowl. Perfect for what he was planning, or so he hoped. With his objective secured, he passed between the trees, and once he was a significant distance from the camp, he whistled.
The physical impossibility of the sound amused him, especially since he managed to do it perfectly every time.
Tykhon came through the trees, loping along on his six limbs, swivelling his head this way and that. Efrain wondered if that was for vision, or if he was scenting the air. The mount did not seem worse for ware, despite the danger they’d passed through. Efrain supposed there was no lack of food and water in the woods, and he’d been more than happy to wander along in them.
“I’m glad to see you,” he said, rubbing the creature’s long snout.
The creature nuzzled at him, leaving Efrain to wonder if Carnes had built some fondness for him in the creature’s very blood. He turned back and looked through the trees, seeing the soldiers beginning to pack their tents and tools.
“I don’t entirely know what I’m doing,” he said to his mount, “feels like I might’ve really stepped in it this time, Tykhon. I might end up headless, or with a new friend.”
Tykhon offered no response, other than to lay its massive head on his shoulder.
“Trying to get some blood on me?” he said, noticing the red flecks near the slit of its mouth, “rascal.”
He led Tykhon through the trees and back towards the wagon circle where Innie waited. Oddly enough, the mounts being hitched didn’t bolt or grow agitated at the approach of the much larger creature. Efrain wasn’t sure how Carnes had managed that either, but he supposed it was just another example of the skill of the flesh lord.
Soon, he and Innie were heading to the top of the line, but they stopped before they reached where the men were forming up. Damafelce was washing some clothes in a creek, leaving a trail of red-purple water.
“Don’t you have a page to do that for you?” he said from the back of his mount.
“I do,” she said, “but I prefer to do it myself. It’s what I used to do while my mother composed.”
“A bit of home then?” he said.
She nodded as she withdrew the shirt from the stream, its pale surface still stuffed with a red-brown stain.
“That being said,” she said, “I think this one is beyond my aid. I see you found your mount, lord Efrain. He’d been trailing the caravan for a while, some of the soldiers were getting nervous.”
“Well, I’m glad they didn’t shoot him. I would’ve been quite upset, though I doubt they would’ve harmed him much.”
“What is he exactly?” she said, wringing out the shirt before throwing it over her well muscled shoulder, “I’ve never seen nor heard of a beast like him.”
“A chimera of some description,” Efrain said, “actually I don’t even know if it's a he. It was a gift from a friend.”
“A… what?” Damafelce said, trying to sound out ‘chimera’.
“A mixture of animals, modified and merged. Flesh lords dabble in such things occasionally.”
“And is that… blood around his muzzle?” she said, looking concerned.
“Yes. He’s… well, I think he eats both plants and flesh, given the chance. I’ve seen him eating berries, and also… an eagle. I’m not sure how he managed to catch it,” Efrain said.
Damafelce looked more impressed than frightened, but Efrain noticed how her eyes drifted down to the claws on the forelimbs of the creature.
“He’s not particularly aggressive,” Efrain said, “but I think he can get skittish.”
“I’ll keep it in mind. Is there anything you wanted to speak to me about?”
“No, no,” Efrain said, “I just saw you in the clearing and wanted to say hello.”
She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, clearly doubting him.
“Although, there’s one question I would like to ask if you wouldn’t mind.”
“There it is,” said the captain, “well, then, ask away.”
“This seems like a less than desirable post for you, so far away from home. Why did you come?”
Her eyebrows furrowed at the question, almost as if she was insulted that he’d even asked her.
“I volunteered, we all did. Even the commander. He needed good men, so he had us.”
“Well then, that wraps some lingering questions I had,” Efrain said, nodding, “I’ll see you on the road, captain.”
Now that was interesting, Efrain thought, so was Naia put forward, or did he volunteer on his own?
Efrain rode on to where the men were massing, and waited patiently for the line to form up properly. Tykhon shifted his weight to the side and began to rub himself on the bark of a nearby tree, snuffling and grunting as he did so. Efrain absent-mindedly rubbed behind his ears as he thought about the day’s lesson.
It didn’t take long for the men to get moving along the old road, though it was more a foot path than anything else. Efrain didn’t have much time or desire to speak beyond common courtesy as he and Innie rode alongside the soldiers, and most were too unnerved by Tykhon to press any conversation. They’d made a distance of perhaps twenty or thirty miles before the day had darkened. The trees were beginning to thin out just slightly, and the balance was shifting definitely to deciduous.
As the men broke for camp, Efrain took up a position on a small rise, where a young birch stuck out from the ground. Tykhon had curled up, chewing on some of the fresh grass as he snorted and twitched, Innie asleep on his back. Efrain set out the two bowls before him, filled from a nearby stream, a fresh picked bundle of herbs, and waited.
Innie awoke at one point, flicking one amber eye over to his assembly.
“Getting prepared for your covert lesson?”
Efrain nodded as he sat, leaning against Tykhon's massive flank.
“I could wake you if you’re interested in aiding in my instruction.”
“Correcting your mistakes, you mean,” she said, “no thank you, I’ll be happy to sleep through your instruction.”
“Charming. At least I’ll be among friends,” Efrain said.
“You’re counting the beast-creature?”
“I take what I can get, including mouthy cats.”
That earned him a little laugh from the wisp-mother.
“And what exactly are you planning to do with those bowls, Efrain?”
“I was planning on making tea,” he said, “though it will be exceedingly poor quality with what fare I have.”
Innie’s laugh was not little this time as she rolled over and settled.
“Never change, Efrain,” she said, as she drifted back to sleep.
The moon was well-risen before Aya crept out from between the trees.
“Sorry,” she said, “they were a little more watchful this time. I had to wait until they were by the fire.”
“I have all the time in the world,” Efrain said, “besides, I don’t intend to keep you for very long.”
“They say we’re going to be coming to Karkos soon,” Aya said, “we might see it as early as tomorrow, the commander says.”
“That might be optimistic,” Efrain said, “maybe if we push ourselves, we could get to the hinterlands. As for actually getting into the city, that’s taking a night ride, which I’m not sure the soldiers would be happy about.”
Aya sat and processed the information in silence.
“Well, in any case, we will soon be in Karkos, barring any misfortune on the road. And we both have had quite enough of that, I think.”
The laughter was brittle, but good-natured regardless.
“So, then, magic. I haven’t done this in a very long time,” he said, “teaching, that is. As with anything, it’s best to understand the fundamentals of what we call magic. Under normal circumstances, this would take a few weeks, and we’d have lots of practical examples. Oh well, we’ll have to make do.”
He gestured to the various pieces in front of him.
“I teach in a more specific way than I imagine the paladins would, Three bedrock principles, which, while seemingly simple, take time to truly grasp. Memory, intent, emotion. A goal to find, the method to find it, and something to drive at. Do you understand?”
“I- I guess.”
“They seem a bit abstract, don’t they?” Efrain said, “don’t stress over the literal meanings of the words. They are flexible concepts, meant to capture a larger process. That is, the process of making magic.”
He held up his hand, and tried to envision the sparks of a blacksmith’s hammer. What he found instead, was a different explosion of colour and sound. The memory was surprising, and he couldn’t place it, but he remembered a name.
‘Fireworks’.
From his hand, a little stream of multicoloured tracers and dots of light flowed out into the night, vanishing into the dark. Aya gave a little gasp of delight as they floated above her head. He let his hand fall, pushing a dish of water towards the young girl.
“Do you want to take a guess at what your first actual act of magic will be?”
“Uh…” she said, looking down at the assorted plates and herbs, “are you asking me to make… tea?”
Efrain Belacore, behind his mask, smiled wider than he ever had in death.
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Hey guys I got a question, Whenever I put my air intake over the mass air flow sensor the car wants to die out, but whenever I take the air intake off the MAF sensor it'll run fine. I've got no idea why it wants to act the way it does so I thought I might ask you guys for help. And if it helps at all here are the codes that my ecu ran, Codes 23, 31 and 41.

So I was just rewatching this episode. And I think I have a rather Novel , and clever solution to this problem.
We know we have a collision issue … and as the crew keeps repeating the time loop they have more and more information to go on.
So we want to “play” with variables. Problem is we dont know if “making a decision leads to A or B” so lets not make it a human decision… lets exploit math.
But what is crucial is regardless, we know that in the original time line , we wouldnt be having these experiences.
Therefore , in each subsequent repeat our very conversations and movements throughout the ship … are slightly different.
These motions and movements would displace air…. And would be different as each new iteration takes different actions, however slight.. How can we take advantage of this??
Well by exploiting chaos theory and creating a random number generator, that operates off an initial seed number based on very sensitive measurements of atmospheric pressure waves AT that time …. If your flow / pressure sensor is sensitive enough, a person …dealing cards and NOT dealing cards …. Could be detected .. and the difference would be a new seed number from which the random number generator provides a different output than before..
And use that random generated number, to offset the ships initial vector AND its “position” upon approach to the anomaly.
You only need to play around with a few meters to avoid the collision ….
Eventually , as the repeat loops keep changing how people act and move … and the pressure sensor gives different initial seed values each time…
You will end up using the randomization itself to eventually NOT encounter the collision. Regardless of how many loops it takes …
It will eventually happen. And there is no need for ridiculous “i saw the number three”
Which “is” one way to do it.
I say this because we already use this. Our best random number generators, start with a seed number. That attempts to randomize off an algorithim but the initial seed number is generated off the atmospheric fluctuations at the time of the request ….
Its as close to random as possible… because nothing programmed can be totally random. Its always predictable.

I'm setting up a water to air radiator in my home.
It's going to be tied to my water line coming in from the well.
Essentially steeling the cold from the water.
All that side I have figured out. I'm not wanting to run the fans 24/7 ideally.
So I'm trying to find (ideally a dumb setup if possible) a sensor that when it detects flow it'll engage the fans.
I also thought another option would be a temp sensor on the line? This would keep it running longer after water flow stops.
I'm hoping to make this a dumb system, so not programming. Just a sensor that'll close a relay.
However I've been googling for some time and I'm not finding much. See a lot of options for flow sensor meters, but they would require programming and a controller etc.
Has anyone seen something that may work?
Thanks.

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A staredown soon ensued.
One that neither of us seemed to be willing to let up on.
But as far as staredowns went, this one was pretty evenly matched as neither of us really had the ability to ‘blink’, or at least as far as an outside observer could see.
My whole schtick was pretty obvious, the tinted lenses were more or less just doing the job for me, taking blinking out of the equation entirely and adding a solid plus ten to my intimidation base stats.
The shadowy cloaked figure’s approach was just downright bizarre though, as instead of eyes, there were just these two trapezoidal ‘lights’ that I assumed were supposed to be a placeholder for his actual eyes hidden somewhere underneath the shadowy void casted by his hood.
A void which was downright pitchblack, and completely impenetrable to the naked eye.
The figure gave off a surreal vibe as his rogue-like attire, coupled with the hood and the impenetrable shadow it casted, looked like it’d been ripped straight out of a Castles and Wyverns art book or a high-fantasy comic. The pitch-black void that obscured his face, and those two trapezoidal eyes that hovered and shifted with increasing scrutiny, just didn’t look real.
While most would leave it at that, I wasn’t one to leave a mystery hanging, I was a human with an entire visual sensor suite to work with for crying out loud. So before I even knew it, I reflexively went to activate my night-vision cameras. Only to see that the shadowy effect covering up his face was still there.
This led me to only one solid conclusion.
ALERT: LOCALIZED SURGE OF MANA-RADIATION DETECTED, 140% ABOVE BACKGROUND RADIATION LEVELS
A quick localized environmental scan made it clear to me that this was yet another one of the Nexus’ weird mana-fueled acts of tomfoolery.
“What say you, first years? Are you here for healing, or are you here for a visit? For as I have stated, the healing wing is not accepting visits at this point in time.” The hooded figure answered with this strange mix between a sing-song voice and an attempt at sounding gruff and gravely.
“We have an unfulfilled point of personal privilege that requires addressment.” Thacea stepped up to the plate, promptly placing herself by my side, then taking several steps forward. “Along with an unresolved conflict which requires immediate resolution by the party with which the aforementioned point of personal privilege was evoked but was halted due to unforeseen circumstances.” The princess began flexing her courtly-talk with the hooded figure, which clearly seemed to have some effect as he reached up a single gloved hand up to where his chin should be, only to have his fingers disappear as soon as they entered the dark shadowy effect currently covering up his face.
“And with whom is this unresolved matter incurred?” The figure inquired plainly, though the way he spoke shifted to something a bit more accommodating, perhaps even a little bit more hospitable than the gruffer tone he’d initially directed towards me.
“An apprentice, good sir. Apprentice Larial to be precise.” Thacea clarified politely, using what I could only describe as this flighty, chirpy, almost haughty tone of voice that was an exaggerated version of the cadence she used during our first interactions together.
“Hmm…” The hooded figure replied with a concerned grumble. “I was going to waive this particular matter, allowing the fair lady-” He paused, before making a point to stare at both me and Thalmin. “-and her two knights to pass on through, under the points of exceptional circumstances.” He continued in a less restrained, more flighty cadence. “However, you must excuse my inability to do so, my lady. My hands are currently tied via the powers that be, and I simply cannot grant your request.” The man began weaving a string of apologetics, giving Thacea a genuine and polite bow in response. “I must apologize for this discrepancy in expectant decorum.”
This didn’t make things any better for our circumstances though.
And it was clear Thacea understood this as she continued pressing forward.
“May I have your name and title, my good sir?” Thacea chirped lightly.
“Appointed-Deputy Magistrate Sir Arlan Ostoy, Senior Apprentice of the Transgracian Academy for the Magical Arts. May I have the honor and the privilege of requesting your name, my fair lady?”
“Princess Thacea Dilani, of the Aetheronrealm, First Year and Scholastic Peer of the Transgracian Academy for the Magical Arts.” Thacea replied with a full bow, and a half-curtsy of her own.
“A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” The shadowy figure bowed yet again.
“The pleasure is all mine, Sir-Magistrate.” Followed by yet another bow by Thacea.
There was some serious song and dance going on here, and one that I was observing with bated breath.
“Might I inquire further as to the particular reasoning behind this unfortunate and unseemly inability to respect the rights of expectant decorum?” Thacea quickly shot back.
“As I have alluded to, your highness, the powers that be prevent me from furthering the natural solution to your particular grievances. If this were any other instance in time, at any other location or place, I am sure this matter would have been resolved in an expedient and timely fashion. This situation, as you have alluded to yourself, results from a very particular set of unforeseen circumstances. Circumstances which currently dictate my actions in a manner which just so happens to be in conflict with your points of personal privilege, your highness.” The man’s posture, the way he stood, even the way he talked seemed very particular when addressing Thacea.
It was at that point that something changed. I didn’t know what, and I wasn’t sure why, but Thacea seemed to be shifting towards a tactical retreat, as she clacked her beak several times before addressing the both of us. “This is absolutely preposterous, I will need a moment to clear my mind but when I do return…” Thacea turned towards the magistrate/guard/apprentice person yet again. “There will be words exchanged.”
At Thacea’s prompting, we all left the room, but not before slamming the door behind us shut in a similar manner to Ilunor’s drama-filled exits.
We continued walking away from the medical wing at a steady pace, until another privacy screen was suddenly brought up.
ALERT: LOCALIZED SURGE OF MANA-RADIATION DETECTED, 275% ABOVE BACKGROUND RADIATION LEVELS
“I have a plan.” Thacea began. “And this is entirely relying on you two having the physical prowess to back up your military backgrounds.” She continued ominously.
“Oh princess, you sully the Havenbrock name if you believe my mercenary heritage is in any way, shape, or form a mere decorative mantlepiece.” Thalmin responded with a sarcastic, yet excitable tone.
“I assure you, Thacea, I think my training has almost every eventuality accounted for.” I added with an affirmative nod.
“So what’s the plan?” Thalmin barked out excitedly as we stopped right in the middle of this long, wide hallway connecting the main castle with the medical wing. Thacea was quick to answer this question by wordlessly gesturing to a lone door on the right side of the hallway.
Windows lining either side of the hallway made it clear that this entire structure was just an elevated bridge connecting the main castle to an entirely separate compound.
This made the presence of a door smack-dab in the middle of its length sort of bizarre.
Upon entering it though, we were treated to an open-air rooftop terrace with a few seats and benches. The whole outcropping gave us an unparalleled view of the roaring waterfall beneath the Academy, and a direct line of sight to the medical wing and its five distinct towers.
The princess continued walking silently as we reached the edge of the terrace’s balcony, overlooking the sheer cliff face at a height that more or less put me in mind of your typical open-air rooftops on your typical Acela Corridor skyscraper.
“I’ve observed that the medical wing seems to consist of a large tower-atrium, with several more towers connected to it via additional corridors. Similar to spokes on a wheel. As you can see from this vantage point, it seems as if most rooms have private balconies. If we cannot make our way to the apprentice via conventional channels, then I plan to reach her via more unconventional means.” Thacea turned towards me with a hardened look in her gaze. “Emma, is your… insect artifice ready for use?”
My eyes widened at that, as I nodded affirmatively. “Just for the record, we call it a drone.” I quickly corrected Thacea. “But, yes, I can designate individuals and targets for it to track down or follow. However, I can’t just have it poking around in every room since there’s no guarantee that the drone will be able to get a lock on them. There’s too many variables involved that would get in the way of the drone actually being able to zero in on a person’s face. From the beds facing the right way, to bandages possibly covering up her face, to-”
“I don’t want your artifice to observe every balcony and window, Emma. That will most certainly take too much time, and as you’ve stated, there’s no guarantee of actually identifying a face considering the multitudes of factors involved.” Thacea interjected. “What I plan to do is to return to the Deputy-Magistrate, and to attempt to reach a compromise that he will abide by. I plan for him to take us, or rather, your drone straight to the apprentice.”
“And how will you accomplish this?” Thalmin whined,his head tilted in curiosity.
“I will draft a letter, addressed directly to the apprentice, and request that it be taken straight to her room. This way, the Deputy-Magistrate will in a sense be able to accomplish his obligations to the Expectant Decorum, and in doing so he will lead your insec-, drone, straight to the apprentice’s room.”
I stared at Thacea with wide eyes, as her back and forths with the deputy-magistrate began taking on a completely different meaning in this new light.
“That way, we can find out exactly which room the apprentice is in.” I replied bluntly.
“Correct. However, from there, I cannot say my plans are in any way foolproof.” Thacea replied with a sullen coo.
“Well go on, princess, it sounds pretty good so far!” Thalmin urged.
“Ascertaining the apprentice’s room is only half of the stated objective. Actually getting there is another matter entirely. Because depending on where the apprentice is located… my idea for the latter half of this quest involves you two scaling your way towards her room.” The princess spoke with an immense level of trepidation. “On the exterior aspect of the castle, if that needed to be said.”
My heart skipped a beat as the princess laid out her plans. I looked across the absurdly spindly hallway-bridge that this little terrace was somehow attached to, and towards the five towers that made up the medical wing.
Thalmin did the same, although his face seemed to indicate that he was at the very least, considering the plan at least somewhat seriously.
“Alright.” I muttered out loud, instinctively trying to place a palm on my forehead, only for the glove to bonk straight off. “I have several ideas. First, we might be able to do this remotely. I’m thinking once we find out which room she’s in, we fly in a larger drone, one carrying with it a deployable holographic projector or some other two-way communications device so that we can talk to her remotely.” As soon as I spoke that idea out loud however, things started to fall apart. “But because of how thick the walls are, and considering the distance between the tower and our dorm, I might have to deploy repeaters in order to daisy-chain the connection all the way back to the dorms. I mean, we can’t just set up shop out here in the open after all. At which point we’d have a continuous chain of signal-repeater drones flying all across the Academy… which wouldn’t be ideal. No, scratch that, that won’t work.”
The pair stared at me with varying degrees of confusion, but seemed to have collectively decided to ignore the idea after I’d scrapped it.
“I say we just climb it!” Thalmin yelped out, but not before another idea hit me. One that could work, but that required me consulting Thacea first.
“I mean, we could, but…” I turned to face Thacea. “What’s the Academy’s policy on noise? Or rather, do you think we could get away with something really really loud, buzzing outside of the towers?”
Thacea once more stared at me with a look of just utter confusion, but shrugged it off and went with it anyways. “I would highly recommend against generating too much noise for this particular quest, Emma. It would most certainly garner a lot of unwanted attention.” Thacea spoke plain and simple.
I couldn’t help but to groan internally in frustration at that.
That makes flying over there a no-go… it would’ve made things so much easier though…
“Alright, well, that more or less places us in a very awkward situation with not a lot of options available to us, huh?” I thought to myself outloud again, as I craned my head over to an excitable Thalmin.
“I guess I have to climb on over.” I stated in no uncertain terms.
“Wait, I?!” Thalmin responded with a shocked and incredulous bark. “There’s no way I’m allowing you to climb over there yourself without assistance or-”
“Thalmin, there’s no need for you to climb on over with me.” I interjected. “This whole mission is hedged on me talking to the apprentice one-on-one. Remember the gardens? The apprentice wouldn’t allow you anywhere near us when we started talking. It’d be a waste of time, energy, and more importantly… a huge risk to your safety. I don’t want to risk your life needlessly, Thalmin. Not especially for a fight that isn’t your own.”
“Well you’re part of our peer group, so it’s my fight as well.” Thalmin replied with a dejected growl, but eventually relented. “But you’re right, Emma. I hate to admit it, but you’re right.”
I nodded at Thalmin’s slowly. “Besides, there’s an important job I need you to do.” I began scrounging through one of my pouches, and began palming for my spare in-ear earpieces. “I need you on lookout, to keep me aware of anything fishy developing in case I need to pull out.”
Thalmin looked over the side of the terrace, towards the raging waters beneath this side of the Academy as he let out a sigh. “That shouldn’t be too hard. Hardly anyone will be passing by this terrace, and beyond that there’s no way anyone can spot you from below, given there’s nothing but the cascading rapids below us. There’s no one that can spot you from here, save for perhaps the foxes in the library. We’re most certainly on the right side of the Academy for this quest, that’s for certain.” Thalmin pointed at the library in the far distance.
“Oh, I’m not too worried about anyone seeing me. I’m more concerned about someone compromising my extraction point, i.e. this little terrace here.” I acknowledged.
“But, surely you must be worried about someone seeing you scaling the walls…” Thalmin scanned me up and down, as if wanting to comment about my size but- “You’re massive.”
“Okay, first off, rude.” I spoke sarcastically, and raised both hands up for added effect. “But in all seriousness, I have another device that can mask my visual presence.” I pulled out a plastic-like poncho from one of my pouches, activating it, and revealing its active-camo properties as it projected whatever was behind it, albeit with some imperfections. “It isn’t perfect, but from afar it should actually work pretty well.”
Both Thalmin and Thacea stared at each other in utter shock as they saw this.
“A mana-less-”
“I think… this is a matter worth discussing another time, Princess.” Thalmin interjected with a polite exasperated breath. “But I expect a good explanation for this one, Emma.” Thalmin pointed a finger right at me.
“In any case, I will be diverting the Deputy-Magistrate’s attention by preoccupying him with needless and vapid chatter. This should take attention away from the apprentice and your intrusion, Emma.” Thacea quickly added, and promptly tied this whole impromptu operation up nicely.
“Alright, let’s get this show on the road then. We’ll head back to the dorms and get that letter drafted so-”
“Already done.” Thacea interjected, bringing up a parchment that she promptly began sealing into an envelope.
“Wait, when did you-”
“Whilst we were talking, I used a dictation spell. The letter is written and signed.” Thacea spoke nonchalantly, as she held a neatly sealed envelope in one of her talons.
“Wait, what, when did you, how did you-?”
“I carry a quill and extra parchment in my bag of holding. This is to account for any eventuality where a statement in writing, a legal affidavit, or a notarized letter may be required.” Thacea responded a-matter-of-factly.
“Alright then.” I tapped the pouch with the INFIL-DRONE, the small little thing peeking its head out much to the visible disgust of the pair. “So we’re ready for phase one of the operation. Misdirection and information gathering. We’ll go in, drop the letter, and have the drone do its thing. After that, we wait for the drone to return, and we’ll take it from there on whether or not we can continue with Phase Two: penetrating the enemy lines.”
“What would be stopping us from continuing with phase two?” Thalmin quickly asked.
“Well, simple. If the apprentice is still conked out from her injuries, there wouldn’t be any point in attempting to meet her. So hopefully, she’s going to be in a good enough state to talk to. We’ll know when we get the drone footage back.”
“Fair point.” Thalmin nodded.
“So, is everyone ready to begin?” Thacea asked.
A series of affirmative nods later, we began our quick walk back over to the atrium.

The Transgracian Academy for the Magical Arts, Extraction Point Alpha (Open Air Terrace Overlooking the Medical Wing). Local Time: 1420 Hours.
That took way more time than I’d initially thought.
In fact, it took so long that I was beginning to wonder how two people could have an unending conversation where nothing of value was spoken and nothing of value was gained.
It was basically elevator small talk, but written by the same writers who wrote Bridgerwesson Lane, and adapted to a theatrical release with a trilogy that ended with a movie arbitrarily cut up into a two-parter.
I honestly zoned out for a few moments during those hours, as I decided to use the spare time to review the grappling hook and mountaineering gear I’d be using on this little quest.
Eventually however, the Deputy-Magistrate relented, at which point I let loose the INFIL-DRONE to do its thing.
It’d been twenty minutes since we left and made our way back to this open-air terrace, and all of us were waiting with bated breath for the results the drone had in store.
“So, how fast can that drone of yours fly anyways Emma-”
Thalmin was immediately cut off as the drone in question buzzed right by his ears, causing them to flick this way and that, before flattening out entirely.
“Speak of him and he will come.” I chuckled, as I outstretched a gloved hand over for the little drone to perch atop of.
Once again, the pair stared at it with a look of mild disgust, and then panic as it crawled all the way back into its docking port, and began uploading the data we needed.
“Alright, let’s see what we have here.” I spoke to no one in particular before shifting my attention to the EVI. “EVI, isolate and replay relevant footage, and calculate the target’s location.”
“Acknowledged, parsing…”
“Location Parsing. Footage isolated. Play Footage?”
“Affirmative.”
I immediately pulled out my data-tab for the gang to be able to watch as well, as the footage began just as the Deputy-Magistrate, and by extension the drone, arrived at the apprentice’s room.
The door, and all details posted in the front were all captured, and so too was the state of the apprentice revealed to us in short order as I braced myself for a mangled and bandaged-up mass of broken bones.
What I instead saw, was… still a heavily bandaged up figure. However, the most important thing was that they were awake.
And what was remarkable, was the fact that they were able to move without assistance. As the apprentice reached over to receive the letter wordlessly, shifting a bit in bed as she did so.
“This is a letter addressed from a Princess Thacea Dilani of the Aetheronrealm. I have fulfilled my duties and obligations as per the Expectant Decorum. I will now take my leave, Apprentice Larial.” The deputy-magistrate spoke with the same air of overbearing properness, seriously making me consider whether or not this was how he was all the time.
Whatever the case may be, the apprentice seemed to be healed enough to move her arms at the very least, as she grabbed the letter and spoke hoarsely back in response. “Thank you Senior Apprentice.”
There wasn’t much to the footage beyond those interactions, but it was good enough for the purposes of this mission.
“Alright.” I spoke, as I pocketed the tablet. “We have our answer. The apprentice seems healed up enough to speak to, so phase two of this operation is a-go.”
The pair nodded in response, just in time for the EVI to be done with whatever calculations were needed to determine the apprentice’s precise location.
I turned to the tower, as the room and its balcony was highlighted.
It was just about five stories above from where we were.
Meaning it’d be a hell of a climb.
“The room’s about five floors up.” I announced with a sigh.
“Are you sure you can make that journey, Emma?” Thacea responded worryingly. “I… I will be honest, Emma, I am having some second doubts about this whole idea. The concept just came to me as flying between tall structures and towers is just second nature to us Aetheronrealmers. Considering the heights involved, and your inability to fly, I’m wondering if this whole quest was a folly of my own shortsighted-”
“It’s fine, Thacea.” I cut the avinor off. “I can do this, trust me.” I placed a single hand on the princess’ shoulder, and squeezed it once for effect.
Meanwhile, the EVI began doing what it did best: attempting to minimize the risk associated with my hairbrained schemes, as it deployed the suit’s primary lookout drone in order to start mapping out the best possible route forward.
This spooked the pair yet again, as they both jolted backwards.
Thankfully, the drone was deathly silent, so it shouldn’t bring too much attention to it.
It was at this point that I brought out a pair of earpieces I was scrounging my pouches for earlier, one for Thacea, and another for Thalmin.
“These will help you stay in contact with me throughout the climb.” I stated plainly, as I attempted to latch it onto my own ear for demonstrative purposes, only to realize that I could not, given the suit was in the way.
I sighed, as I turned towards Thalmin. “Do you mind if I put it on for you?” I asked sheepishly.
“Erm, what is it, Emma?”
“It’s…” I paused, as I attempted to find the best way to describe this without taking up too much time. “It’s a communication artifice, Thalmin. It’ll allow us to talk to each other remotely, relying on that drone there-” I pointed at the lookout drone still flying away from us. “-to relay our voices to each other.”
Thalmin, as expected, looked at me with an expression of partial dumbfoundedness whilst Thacea seemed completely transfixed by the earpieces I held in my hands.
“So it’s like a hearing-sense?” Thalmin responded with a questioning bark.
“Look, I’ll just demonstrate.” I managed out with a sigh as Thalmin reluctantly nodded and allowed me to begin hooking in the earpiece, looping it around his fluffy triangular ears.
This inevitably resulted in my hand brushing over the lupinor’s fluffy head a few times, which seemed to elicit some large tail-wags and a dulcet rumble.
I tried to ignore that, as I pulled back and began demonstrating. “I’ve turned off my speakers, can you still hear me, Thalmin?”
“Yes, I can.” The lupinor spoke after clearing his throat.
I turned my speakers back on immediately after. “Alright, I’ll get into the specifics of how it works later, but as for now, just know that I can hear whatever you say.”
“I’m afraid I don’t think that artifice will be compatible with my… anatomy, Emma.” Thacea spoke calmly, as she pointed at several aspects of the earpiece that required an actual ear canal to fit into, and an earlobe to loop around.
“This complicates things a bit, but it shouldn’t be too difficult. How long do you think you can keep up the distracting conversation with the deputy-magistrate for, Thacea?”
“We just went through several hours discussing nothing in particular, I can most certainly continue that trend from dusk till dawn.” The avinor spoke confidently, and frankly, rather proudly. “The issue lies not in how long I can manage to maintain the conversation, but in how long it will take you to accomplish this quest, Emma.” Thacea shot back.
“An hour.” I nodded confidently. “Twenty minutes to scoot my way over there, twenty to talk to the apprentice, and twenty to get back.”
“I’ll make that two hours then.” Thacea responded without a second thought. “We need to account for potential complications, and an extra hour of senseless dialogue will most certainly not be an issue for me.”
With an affirmative nod from me, and an approving glance from Thalmin, I now turned towards the exterior of the two hundred foot corridor leading to the concourse, and the extra five hundred feet it would take to get from the atrium to the tower in question.
It was at that last minute that the EVI brought out another suggestion, one that was formulated with the aid of the new datasets provided by the FEBNPMS lookout drone that had been busy mapping out the best route forward.
It was… an inherently riskier approach, one that my aunt would definitely not approve of, but it definitely beat scaling a wall and wedging spikes into it.
“Actually… I have a better idea than simply scaling the walls.”

The Transgracian Academy for the Magical Arts, En Route to Medical Wing Tower C, Room 705. Local Time: 1430 Hours.
“Grapple secure.”
I will never forget the feeling of falling.
The very wrong feeling that came with leaping off of solid ground into empty sky, of suddenly seeing and feeling the world whizzing by me.
It was a visceral feeling, a gut-churning sensation, dominated by an overbearing sense of impending doom that takes over your terrestrial brain that wasn’t designed to feel the ‘freeing’ sensation of being unbound to the ground beneath you.
Leaping over from the edge of the terrace was the worst part of it. But after that tentative jump, things started to become just a little bit easier.
The Academy’s proclivity for over-aggrandized architectural design would finally serve a purpose beyond just decorative aesthetics.
Because it was clear that the walls weren’t really designed to ward off anyone daring to scale them. As there existed several, if not hundreds of these little greebles and outcroppings that served no purpose but to act as decorative pieces on the side of the castle. Some held stone flowers, whilst others had lamps or other light pieces of varying designs.
No matter what they were, or what meaning they held, all were equal and valid targets in the eyes of my grappling hook.
As I dangled there from the first outcropping, held in place by a single high-tensile cable, I looked up to see Thalmin looming over the edge “EMMA?!” I heard him shout in a panic. It was clear that he was unable to see anything, as my light-refraction cloak was currently doing its job well.
“I’m still here, Thalmin. You can’t see me but I’m dangling from this weird outcropping that looks like an overinflated vase.”
“NEXT TIME, BE SURE TO INFORM ME AS TO THE NATURE OF YOUR IMPOSSIBLE ARTIFICES BEFORE USE, UNDERSTOOD?!”
“Of course. You’ll know if I’ve fallen if you hear a long scream followed by a large splat.”
“That’s not funny!”
I chuckled nervously in response, before turning to face the grueling, gut-churning journey ahead of me. “Humor’s my way of dealing with stress, and trust me, I have a lot of stress to work through right about now.”
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(Author’s Note: Hey guys! Time for some unconventional solutions courtesy of Emma and the gang! We're going to meet the apprentice one way or another! I hope you guys enjoy! :D The next Chapter is already up on Patreon if you guys are interested in getting early access to future chapters!)
[If you guys want to help support me and these stories, here's my ko-fi ! And my Patreon for early chapter releases (Chapter 34 of this story is already out on there!)]

TLDR: National Guard saved cows delivering hay by helicopter. Could it also save human lives delivering a temporary footbridge?
During this winter’s big snows, the California Air National Guard ferried bales of hay via helicopter to herds of cows stranded on Humboldt county hills and mountains. This was back in March.
Today, news of the the Woods Creek Bridge and the South Fork San Joaquin River Bridge damage is being widely reported - and quite frequently - in the mass media.
Those media reports not only talk about the dangers to human lives brought by fording dangerous fast moving water but also the very-highly-likely disinterest among thru-hikers to backtrack or take long re-routes. The thrust of this juxtaposition is that lives will be put at risk while fording the rivers.
The SF Chronicle summed up the “three disappointing options” as: backtrack and reroute; abandon the thru-hike altogether; or attempt to ford the streams on foot. And then in the next paragraph stating “Stream crossings are perhaps the most perilous hazard of those scenic trails — hikers have been swept off their feet and drowned in recent years — and this season these wild streams are flowing colder, higher and faster than normal.”
The article is pretty clearly foretelling outsized human toll this year. It’s not a happy thought but we are perhaps only days or weeks away from hearing the grim news of a tragedy brought about by a perilous crossing.
So I’m wondering what Cal National Guard resources (or perhaps Marine Mt Warfare unit resources) could be brought to bear as a temporary fix?
I’ve not served in any branch of the military and have limited knowledge of how this sort of stuff works. But I have followed news of various conflicts and seen images of temporary bridges installed for ground troops as well as armored vehicles during over land advances.
Couldn’t the Cal National Guard or Marines install temporary footbridges adjacent to the two impassable bridges in order to save lives? Do this bridges exist as items in inventory somewhere in a form that could be airlifted into place in whole or parts and secured in place to save lives?

Howdy Ya'll.
I've got a GTI that is going to be my son's daily driver.. it needs a bit of work and as a bit of a project/fun/learning experience/cost saving/just because I want to.. I'm hoping to do most of the work on it myself.
It's a 2009 GTI 6 Speed manual, with CCTA engine.
It has a leaking rear main seal (that we're going to change along with a new clutch when junior gets more competent with the clutch), I just replaced the PCV valve. As far as I know it's stock other than some minor cosmetic things.
I'm getting a P0101 (Mass Air Flow sensor) and an occasional P0299 (under boost).
The MAF code comes back pretty regularly, it'll stay off maybe for up to an hour or so.. and the under boost is pretty sporadic... I've yet to see any kind of pattern in when it trips.
I've never had a car with turbo, so this might be blatantly obvious.. but should the turbo hiss like this?
If I'm going down the highway at 60MPH you can hear a slight hiss from it like this constantly. Rev the engine hard while sitting still (as in the video) and it does it.. any time the engine has some load on it, it hisses like that.
MKV go hiss
I've read elsewhere that 0101 and 0299 can occur when the intercooler hose gets a leak in it.. I got under it and visually inspected those hoses and found nothing obviously loose, cracked, or broken. Listening closely it doesn't sound like it's coming from the front by those hose connections.. Sounds more like rear center where the turbo actually is but I'm not 100% sure.
I suppose my questions are: 1) Should turbo be making that hiss? If not 2) What else might be the likely culprit for the leak? 3) Any suggestions on how to find the leak? I've seen things about pressure testing it, but I haven't tried that yet.
Any and all suggestions/input/resources are welcome and appreciated.
Thanks.

(Hey everyone! Finally out of the shadow realm! Im reposting chapter five here as it got wiped last time, 6 is still percolating away in my head, but in the mean time, enjoy! Comments are appreciated!)
(Previous)
https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/13o95ds/eodat_ch4_whats_old_is_new_again/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/------------/
4-LOM rolled up to the holotable, the aging shipbuilder looking over the various fleet and division commanders.
4-LOM was an old Mk1 astro robot, his main body was a sphere, with four mechanical arms extending from his body, two large and bulky, and the other two smaller, more nimble and accurate, more dexterous, with a cylindrical lower body leading down to his treads, which were angular, tank like in shape, designed for heavy lifting. His head was flat, with a duo of square optics, a set of welding shields flipped up, ready to flip down when and where needed. His backpack was open, with tools sticking out, ready to be grabbed and used.
Looking around, he noted that the Saurians had their Admiral, a middle age Rox, their massive, tyrannasauric form still managing to tower over most of the others, even in holo, while Serano stood next to him. Nearby, Hota sat, nursing a coffee, rubbing his head, while one of the chief science officers hologram glanced at him nervously.
Another door entered, and a Mk12 frame entered, standing at the table. At first glance, the frame looked pristine, but 4-LOM wasn't fooled. He wasn't a shipwright for nothing, and he could see the pitting under the paint where plasma weaponry had uselessly splashed off, taking with it little layers of metal with it. Despite how new the frame looked, it was clear it had seen some action, recently as well, judging by the fresh coat of paint.
More holograms of fleet officials, and the bridges, or representations of their ships, flickered in above their shoulders. Serano looked like he had an old sailing ship floated there idly, a representation of the Enterprise. Some had wasps, while one captain had a cartoonish Barbus fish, with an old style white sailors cap and a belt of dynamite.
And then a small black hole flickered into view in front of his faceplate, making him roll back with a start. Getting a good look at the now pulsing black hole, he seemed to frown, one of his welding shields rising higher to simulate a eyebrow raise….. "Horizon? Is that you, little lass?" He said, with a thick, Scottish accent as his other shield rose up to join the other in shock.
The holographic black hole bobbed up and down in the air, two arms extending out from its corona and spun, as if to represent it, no, her, spinning in happiness. For a moment, 4-LOM was silent, before he began laughing, reaching up, even as his servo passed through the holo. "Ach, what I wouldn't give ta be in the Link with ye, lassie! I'm glad ye survived." He said, as the little ever hungry representation of the ship spun around him, before it shot off, floating near the Mk12, who looked at it.
The 12s head tilted more, as it listening to what the ship was saying, while 4-LOM felt a bit of possessiveness flair. Horizon was one of HIS creations, his and his wife's. Their ships were like children for them. Rolling over, he mentally began preparing a bit of what his wife would call the shovel talk, something they used to do with Captains that took on their vessels……
"Did you need something, Grandfather?" The machine said, domed head snapping to his, taking the wind out of his sails, and stare blankly at the taller, thinner machine.
Behind him, he heard Serano chuckle behind him, even as the Rox raised an eyeridge, while the Saline sat his mug down and placed his head in his hands.
"Grandfather- oh. I see…." He said, gaze turning flat as he gave a glare at Horizon. "I see the little gremlin is still able to make me short a fuse or two. Void knows Maria's hair turned white before she had to move bodies due to someone's antics." The little black hole pulsed sharply, as if squawking. "Would have appreciated a warning she made herself a captain…. Lassie, ye best be teaching him self preservation instincts." Catching the snort from the Rox and the sigh from Serano.
Slowly, his head turned around to face the two, one shield twitching, and finally saw Hota looking up with a flat look. "Too late on that one. I'll pass you the after action report later, AFTER the meeting." Serano said, hiding a smile. "If you want a first hand account, ask Hota. From what I understand, he had a front row seat for the Chaos the two caused."
She wasn't a little ship anymore, she wasnt- ah kriff it all. She was still his little lass. He'll talk with her later…preferably with Maria there…..after he grabbed his wrench and had a….. talk….. with whoever was their crew.
/------------------/
All the admirals and fleet commanders were soon in place, Asimov standing to the side, near the Admiral Serano, Horizons representation floating next to his head as his own panned about, looking at the assembled species. Several robotic ones, not Astro Robot series, called Glinch, looked at him curiously, while he picked out several different….Saurians, a few Roxes, several Trikes.
Several were pale, white skinned humans, bald, be they male or female. Clones, like himself, but with organic bodies, accompanied by nat-born humans, and several more advanced Astro Robot series units, these ones looking everything from near human, to large and bulky, armed with cannons, inbuilt missile launchers on their upper arms, and massive treads, or slimmer, almost skeletal ones with modules that could be swapped out at a moments notice.
"I appreciate ye all for coming on such short notice" 4-LOMs voice said, cutting over the gentle hubbub of the side conversations. "I had hoped that we wouldn't be facing them again, but here we are." The robot said as one of his smaller limbs tapes a command into the console, pulling up images of Everwatch stations current…condition. "Those of yeh from Federation space are more familar of the old stories, battle videos and the like. The Demons, as the Human Federation calls them, have been returned. It's only thanks to the work of Representative Hota that we have this information….. and had stumbled across an old Ace that had woken back up in time for this chaos." 4-LOM said, nodding to the Saline, getting the attention of his compatriots, who he shook his head to.
"Our opponents are equipped with biotech vessels, and are known for appropriating technology to forcibly integrate it with their own. Which means keep an eye out for a worse hodgepodge of weapons than a pirate vessel after its crew hits a pound of Spice and then gets drunk at a star port." 4-LOM said dryly, as various, old, images of the vessels and a few of the newer ones. "That being said, expect the sheer firepower jammed onto each of these ships to be on the higherside. However, they need long recharge periods, likely due to whatever power source used overloading, or the capacitor banks running dry and needing to recharge. Don't be fooled, they do have some form of biological armament, acid spitters, spike launchers, the works." He said, as images flicked up organic turrets, tentacles, and what looked like maws.
"As of right now, several of our larger vessels are being inspected and repaired, resupplied, and upgraded as needed. Several older vessels are being pulled out of mothball for the same reason. All civilian vessels are being drafted for emergency roles, receiving refit with hardware that will allow them to fight in a pinch, though their primary objective will be escorting transport ships and acting as emergency evacuation ships. We won't be expecting them to fight, but we need every ship we can get."
An image flickered into view of what amounted to the humans old museum of warships and deep space vessels, revealing it to be a hive of activity. Many other races had laughed at humanity for keeping their old vessels, rather than scrapping them, but now, now there was a reason why humanity had.
"Patrol fleets are to be at least one Saline Sensor ship, two to three Buckler class Trike Shield Bearers, one Rox Artillery ship, one Vohle capable human vessel, Two human PT ships, and three Raptor Swift claws." 4-LOM said, "these things aren't to be taken lightly. Sensors pick them up, call it in and engage. Stall for time if needed for reinforcements to arrive. Intercept fleets are to consist of five Trike Aegis class Shield Bearers, six Swift claws, one Rox supercarrier, three Rox artillery ships, two Saline Auxiliary ships, one Saline Medical cruiser, one Human Vohle Super-carrier, eight human PT ships, two Human Iowa class destroyers." The elderly bot belted out, making several Captains and admirals wince. Those weren't lightweight ships. The 'patrol' fleet could have been considered a planetary invasion force.
Before anyone could make any arguments or questions as to why the fleets were set to the Human classic of 'Maximum Overkill', and before any more ridiculous fleet deployments could be called out, a slightly panicking human sprinted into the room. "Sir! Confirmed hostile assault on Tisan-4" the human said, breathing heavily. "The Demons made planet fall, looks like a small invasion force that had left before the incursion field went up."
4-LOM stared….and then sighed. "Well, Caliburn had been itching for a fight." He sighed and placed a servo over his optics.
/-----------------------------------/
WARNING: Hostiles detected. Match confirmed; species D-65.
Threat level:Apollyon. Combat systems:unlocked.
That was what appeared on the Colony Managers terminal as alarms screamed across the Colony, alerts screaming on PADDs, sirens spinning as bunkers opened up.
An aging Wargen bared his teeth as he rapidly tapped at his terminal, as the younger human clone stood grimly at her manager's terminal.
"Civilians are filling out the bunkers, tunneling charges are set and ready to clear escape routes." The elderly, wolf like Wargen said, his muzzle splitting into four as he spoke, one part vertical, the other horizontally. "Colonial militia are manning hard points and connecting to systems now."
"Understood." The Colony manager said and let out a long breath, before opening the PA system. "All hands, brace for Activation procedure. I repeat, all hands, brace for activation procedure." She said, before securing herself in on one of the chairs, even as the commander buckled himself in across from her, even as terminals all around them flickered and the building shuddered and shook, new lights came online all over.
"And the other races call our alliance insane for building the bunkers" The Wargen muttered under his breath as the command room became a flurry of activity, sensor teams working together in an attempt to get data on their opponents. "Our people are safe. That's what matters, commander." The clone said softly, looking at her long time friend, even as the hidden defense system of the Colony woke up.
/------------/
Outside, the demonic army approached, on a slow, steady March, disgruntled at the lack of organics they had found to use. They needed biomass to fuel their war machine, to create their bases, their armies, their ships. And while they didn't care much about the sheer number of ships they lost during planet fall thanks to the orbital defenses, they needed to deal with the local defense computers. There had to be a way to broadcast an all clear signal and allow their other ships past.
Before them sat a large, fortified structure, looked like a massive cathedral, really. The irony was not lost on them as ports on the castle-like structure opened up, and began spitting metallic shells at them, exploding after punching through their infantry, leaving craters behind, destroying more of their forces.
The ground shook as their massive siege beast began forming from the splattered biomass, like some strange, oozing horror, slowly forming into a quadropodic creature.
The beast was mostly just a giant mouth in legs, with a long, worm like body lined with eyes, teeth, spikes, and tendrils, flinging said teeth at the structure.
Warlord Gistle ground his teeth as he stared at the cathedral as it held its own, his forces decimated by the attempted rain of metal. Said rain changed to one of scalding plasma as the castle changed tactics to try and burn the bodies to prevent them from forming additional, stronger units.
"Battle lord." Hissed one of the smaller battle chiefs said, as they stepped up next to Gistle. "The Seekers have not located where the miserable Frails have hidden themselves. Our efforts would be best put to entering the fortress ahead." The chief said, pointing at the massive fortress as the siege beast brushed off the weapons fire.
"No need, we will be inside soon en-" Came the guttural voice of the Warlord, before it was interrupted by a computerized voice, echoing out.
"THREAT ASSESSED. ASSUMING COMBAT MODE."
There was a rumble, everyone grabbing onto the stablest thing around them as the ground tore apart, the siege beast stumbling back, as the building tore up its own foundations as steam hissed out, and part of the building lifted up, and then slammed into the ground, and then the other side, slowly pulling itself up….and up…and up……
The structure wasn't a structure. Not any more. Towering over them, looking like a massive hunchback stood the cathedral, it's towers opening, revealing to be cowling around massive artillery cannons. It's arms, once covered with flat pillars, opened up to reveal a set rotating barrels, slowly spinning up, and a bulky duo of MAC batteries on the other arm. Sticking off the side of its upper arms were smaller hardpoints, each turret armed with four barrels, small and accurate, sniping ground units with horrifying accuracy, the soft metal shells ripping away to reveal their incendiary cargo held within steel mesh, allowing the coilguns to spit them out rapidly.
The head section looked like a sphere with three optics in a triangular formation, around a cannon that locked onto the siegebeast and whined, arcing brightly, before it fired, a bright flash seen as the cannon went off, it's round leaving behind a trail of fire as it raced through the air, punching through the beast, making it howl, and began trying to heal the injury that pierced it, ripping open a hole below it.
It's bipedal legs were thick, armored, and just as equally armed, it's lower legs armed with rotary cannons that spun, the lower pair foring a heavy stream of plasma, one barrel firing and then cooling as it spun, the others keeping the pace up, while above them, physical artillery was spat out, helping pierce armor for the plasma to scorch and burn to uselessness. More cannons sat on the sides and back of its legs in, taking aim at the surrounding armies, making sure to add on their screeches of rage.
Hanging off the underside of the platform that held the Cathederal sat more turrets, each swiveling around and adding to the chaos, their mini MAC armament chattering as they fired, picked a new target and fired again. On the top of the platform were AA cannons, taking aim and firing into the air, altering the timing of their rounds so that they acted as impromptu artillery, while more cannons, on four turrets, covered the monstrosities back, preventing them from sneaking up behind it, as if the cannons on the back of its legs weren't enough to cover it.
"TARGET ACQUIRED."
Warlord Gistle hissed in shock. The Frails had been LIVING in a Siege beast of their own!? Hidden partially underground, deceiving them to make it seem as if it was nothing more than a fortification!?
"Have all expendable units merge with our Siege beast, NOW! if the frails continue to pick our forces off one by one, they will never be able to reinforce our beast after they fall!" Gistle roared, even as around him the battle chiefs barked out the orders……..
/-------------/
The massive machine stared down at the hostile forces as they turned into a thick, biological slurry, short of the Demons themselves, and oozed towards the horror before it.
The monster seemed to absorb the substance on contact, growing larger and larger with each passing moment, howling and hissing.
He could feel his crew cursing in their heads, humans and otherwise, lighting the slurry up with plasmafire, burning some of it, but not enough. Caliburn agreed with them, as his Plasma getting cannon spun up, the five barrels glowing brightly, the heatsinks by the ends of the barrel glowing as the machine poured plasmafire from the barrels, searing into the beasts body, burning it up as it grew, stunting its growth heavily, and forcing it to consume more biomass to make heavy, chitenous armor, layers burning away under the assault.
Caliburn could feel the dust coming off as his gears spun, and he stepped forward, swinging the glowing arm as it cooled down, making the horror screech as he spun his upper body to add to the force of the blow, digging the glowing heating into the beast's face and knocking it back, buying time for his crew to deal with the horrific slurry around them, which still tried to fuse with the horror, chasing after it with a single minded determination.
As his upper body slowed down and he was facing forward again, he saw the beast setting up, snarling. His other arm came up, and he could feel his capacitors burning as he began firing his MAC arm at it, the massive, vehicle sized slugs punching into the beast, knocking it back farther, punching holes in the chitin it tried to grow as armor, making it hiss and move rapidly, trying to put distance between itself and the machine.
Unfortunately, the beast had the advantage in land speed, as it had four legs, while Caliburn only had two and lumbered slowly forward, his aging systems relishing the taste of combat after so long. And now he had far better weapons then a simple crane arm, like he had last time he fought a creature like this.
Because the beast had put distance between itself and him, it managed to absorb the last of the biomass, and began bounding forward, it's maw open, teeth spinning like some sort of Cuisinart….
A target he couldn't miss. His head cannon barked again, not as powerful as last time, but this time, he wasn't trying to rip it apart from the inside. The shell detonated on contact with the teeth, shredding them, tearing into the soft flesh within, making the beast howl and close its maw, it's chitin armor weathering the plasma splashing off, hardened to withstand the smaller weapons fire his crew spat at the creature.
His arms pulled their shrouding back around them, as he drew back and swung, hard, again using his body spinning to his advantage, striking the beast, the heavy weight of the heatsink and the weapon itself burying the shroud covered arm inside, the end opening up. Unfortunately, thanks to the partial shrouding, he wouldn't be able to spin his cannon, but all he needed was one shot inside it, and let it fly, ripping his arm out as it howled, smoke billowing from its new hole it tried rapidly to heal.
The tendrils it had tried to dig into his arm burned away as he kicked it up from below and began unloading both arms, fully unshrouded, the heat coming off both of them making steam hiss up into the air, as the beast took a heavy slug and then a plasma bolt, one after the other, deep into its stomach, sending it onto its back.
Loud popping sounds were heard as its limbs reoriented, allowing its former belly to become its back, the holes sealing slowly as it circled the walking cathedral, even as Caliburn scanned it, his upper body following its every movement. His command crew were breaking down every schematic and scan he gave them, working hard to figure out a way to kill the horror.
In the mean time, Caliburn and his crews would do their damndest to stall the beast and continue on their current plan. Burn it down, slowly.
He could feel his crews tracking the retreating demon forces, listening to the mental chatter within him as the artillery crews happily worked together to figure out their path, searching for the enemy command position, even as sensor crews watched as the rapidly approaching flood of biomass and machinery charged for them, some of the artillery crews already letting loose N-4 shells, the 'super-napalm', as the crews nicknamed them, impacting and exploding, burning into the biomass, unquenchable, even as the biomass attempted and failed to smother the burning substance, only serving to make it worse, melting the weaponry it carried with it.
The only reason why the crews could get away with it was because the biomass wasn't near the Bunkers exits or near infrastructure. Or Burnable items.
Command soon had a viable target, a sort of brain mass it had, separated throughout its body in a vain attempt to make sure it could still operate when a few of them were destroyed.
Several had been burned away by the plasma bolt going off inside of it, but many more remained, and it was attempting to make more/replace the burned away ones. They needed to eliminate the command signal….
Jubilation and grim satisfaction bloomed in his sensor and artillery crews, as he felt the mad scramble for bunker busting shells, before they were let loose into the air. Even as he blocked a tail strike from the beast and managed to crush its head under one foot, letting his landing engines ignite for the first time in decades to burn the creature more, his crews targeted the command bunker, shelling it with deadly accuracy, smoke rising from the hill they were tucked away behind in the distance, making Caliburn burn with satisfaction and praise for his crew.
/---------------------/
Gistle ran as fast as his hooves could move him, teeth barred as he snarled.
Around him, their command temple shook and shuddered, veins bursting, cables arcing wildly as the biomass contracted involuntarily or simply sagged, turning to biomass.
"Warlord, they are heavily shelling our position, we won't be able to retreat at this rate!" Hissed one of the Battle Chiefs at his side, hissing in fear, even as he snarled at the Pitiful, compared to him, creature. "We won't be taking everyone, only the essentials. The Everlasting King must be notified of this development. King be damned, the frails took the time to prepare for our arrival again." He growled as he came out to a hanger area, and ran into a small, fast ship, even as the others ran into larger, bulkier, slower ships.
Soon, the chitin that served as the door opened, and they shot out, erratically flying, trying to avoid the artillery shells, and now AA fire joining the fray.
He kept close to his compatriots, using them as a living shield as he twisted the small vessel around, smirking as he dodged the fire while they took it..
They were almost to space, soon, they could tear a Gate and get the fleet-
Reality tore open above him as a massive ring shaped vessel pushed itself into real space, disgorging hundreds of smaller vessels, bearing down on their positions, others engaging the floating fleet around them with aggressive assault runs, the sudden appearance in the system allowing them to have the element of surprise.
Weapons fire began filling the space around f them, tearing at their vessels faster then they could repair them as little, frail vessels zipped in and out of line of fire faster then they could shoot, track, or react, unloading slugs, plasma, torpedoes in a flurry of activity before diving away, allowing their munitions to wreak havoc amongst them.
Already, the larger vessels were disabled before Gistle managed to sacrifice one, smirking as it warped, it's biomass fueling the Gate, as he flew through, hoping he was in friendlier territories, unaware of a sensor torpedo flying in behind him.
/------------------------/
Down below, on the surface, Caliburn flung back his opponent again, arms blazing as he shelled it.
It was bigger then it had been, managing to absorb the biomass from the surviving landing ships and the remains of the command center they shelled out. It's armor was thicker, and was flinging out dozens, hundreds of calcium spikes, spitting its unknown energy weapons, only to splash off his shields, for the energy weapons, and his ar.or foe the calcium spikes, even as his weapons screeched.
The beast had holes all over its chitenous armor, from his shells punching in, or his artillery crews shelling the beast, his plasma following close behind as he sought to burn the creature out from the inside, going so far as to ram his plasma cannon inside and unload it, the rotating barrels helping tear it up from the inside as the heat sinks burned it.
Ships began dropping down from above, doing strafing runs, dropping smaller caliber explosives, distracting the beast as he tore another hole in it by spinning his upper body, one shrouded cannon arm striking the beast and ripping in, just as a gunship fired a Cleaner into it, just before it healed.
A burning flash of light, a horrific scream from the beast as it howled, body jerking as the explosive did its job…. Before it swung down, still alive, though just barely, it's armor shattering rather then buckling on the next strike from Caliburn, a facsimile of a uppercut, before the barrels let loose again, even as the plasma cannon dumped bolt after bolt into its lower body, searching for, burning the neural clusters as he found them.
The beast wrenched itself away from his grasp, snarling as it looked at him, the beast snarling as it tried to heal from the most recent injuries.
Caliburn felt his crew snarling back, his cannons swiveling around as they gave their response in munitions as he lumbered forward, the ground shaking from his steps and the escape ships erupting out of the ground around them, his rotary cannon screaming as it fired, the MAC on the other arm barking as he hit it again and again as it charged forward.
The beast no longer cared for its injuries, all it cared was to take the metal monster before it down, spitting acid out of it as it tried, and failed, to blind the machine, even as said machine swung its smoldering plasma cannon up and brought down the burning barrels down on its head, smashing it into the ground, pinning it there as it's crew continued shelling it out ruthlessly.
Caliburn refused to let the beast survive, he refused to let the thing get to the civilians. His crew snarled their agreement as the beast tore the pinned head off its body, even as it burned away to nothing, and tried to charge again, blindly, only to smash against the MAC arm and receive a pair of heavy slugs to the neck stump for its troubles, sending it somersaulting back, trying to reform its head.
It was much, much smaller now, now matching Caliburns size, due to all the biomass loss, it's head reforming as it snarled.
Caliburn seemed to roll his pauldrons and twitched his MAC, as if saying 'come at me'. The beast howled and charged forward, razor sharp tentacles erupting from its sides, whipping about wildly, only for turret crews to blast the tentacles off at the base, and for his artillery crews to shell it down from above, flattening it into the ground again with explosive shells.
Again, the beast began pulling itself out of the ground, only for another strafing run from aircraft , this time dropping standard napalm canisters onto the beast, making it howl as it healed around the canisters, and began burning from within.
It thrashed and writhed, tail and body whipping about, even as Caliburn kept firing, not letting up, shells puncturing the chitin bubble it was trying to form around the napalm to contain it, keeping it burning into the beasts body.
At last, the beast tried to fling itself at Caliburn, thinking that it could at least burn out the mechanical monster with it, only for Caliburn to swing and strike it, flinging it away again, the beasts body unable to get back up, and laid there, slowly burning away at last……………

2.26.0.36 -> 2.26.0.40 Part 1

• VBCI 2 (MCT-30) : Max field repair time lowered
• Game parameter changes :
  • New Burn mark parameters :
    • Ship radius = 7
    • Ship position push multiplier = 5
    • Ship direction push multiplier = 1.15
  • Ground TWS is now called TWS GTM
  • Damage Model parameter changes :
    • Visual Shrapnel Inner Radius : 0.15 -> 0.05
    • Radiators :
      • Repair speed lowered by 65%
      • It can now be repaired to 100%
  • Physical material parameter changes :
    • All, except Bricks, Concrete, Metal, Wood and Football ramp : "iak" : 0.2 -> 0.5
    • Football ramp : "iak" : 0.2 -> 1
    • Track friction on concrete : 0.9 -> 0.95
    • Wheel friction on concrete : 0.8 -> 0.95
• Sound changes :
  • Tank engines : Max sounds in the 20-400 m radius : 8 -> 16
  • Tracks : Max radius : 200 -> 300 m
  • New engine sound : BTR-80
  • Some long-rod APFSDS now use the APCR loading crew voice

Aircraft changes :

• A6M3 :
  • Added custom loadouts
  • New loadout : 1x Drop tank (stock)
  • Loadout changed : 2x 60kg : Removed Required modification 9 in (mod30)
• Buccaneer S. Mk. 1, Kfir Canard : Updated cockpit
• D4Y3 : Loadout changed : 3x 250 kg : Bombs are now dropped separately
• F-4C, F-4E, F-4EJ (all), F-4F (all), F-4S : Drop tank :
  • Fuel mass : 2271 -> 1850 kg
  • Now visible in menu
• F-4E (ISR) : Drop tank :
  • Fuel mass : 2271 -> 1850 kg
  • Model : US -> ISR
  • Now visible in menu
• F-4E Kurnass 2000 :
  • Updated cockpit
  • Engines : Engine armor -> Jet engine armor
  • New loadout : 6x Python 3
  • Loadout changed : x Empty (stock) -> 1x Drop tank (stock)
  • Removed loadouts:
    • 4x AIM-7E-2
    • 4x AIM-7F
  • Custom loadout changes :
    • Slot 3, 9 changed : Added 2x Python 3 option, can't be equipped together with 3x AGM-65D on slot 2
    • Slot 4, 8 changed :
      • Removed 1x AIM-7E-2 option
      • Removed 1x AIM-7F option
    • Slot 5 changed :
      • Option changed : 1x AIM-9G (stock), can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-7E-2 on slot 4 or 1x AIM-7F on slot 4 or 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6 -> 1x AIM-9G (stock), can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Option changed : 1x AIM-9L, can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-7E-2 on slot 4 or 1x AIM-7F on slot 4 or 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6 -> 1x AIM-9L, can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Added 1x Python 3 option, can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Removed 1x AIM-7E-2 option
      • Removed 1x AIM-7F option
    • Slot 6 changed : Added 1x Drop tank (stock) option
    • Slot 7 changed :
      • Option changed : 1x AIM-9G (stock), can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-7E-2 on slot 8 or 1x AIM-7F on slot 8 or 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6 -> 1x AIM-9G (stock), can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Option changed : 1x AIM-9L, can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-7E-2 on slot 8 or 1x AIM-7F on slot 8 or 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6 -> 1x AIM-9L, can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Added 1x Python 3 option, can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Removed 1x AIM-7E-2 option
      • Removed 1x AIM-7F option
• F-4J :
  • Added ejection seat
  • New loadout : 1x Drop tank (stock)
  • Custom loadout changes :
    • Max load : 7257 -> 7400 kg
    • Slot 6 changed : Added 1x Drop tank (stock) option
• F-4J (UK), Phantom F.G. Mk. 1, Phantom F.G.R. Mk. 2 :
  • Added ejection seat
  • New loadout : 1x Drop tank (stock)
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 6 changed : Added 1x Drop tank (stock) option
• F-14B :
  • Targeting pod camera moved
  • New loadout : 2x GBU-24/B + 1x LANTIRN
  • Loadouts changed :
    • 4x AIM-9L + 320x Flares / Chaff -> 4x AIM-9L + 640x Flares / Chaff
    • 1x GBU-10/B : Required modification changed : GBU-10 -> GBU-10/24
  • Custom loadout changes :
    • Slot 2, 5 changed :
      • Added 160x Flares / Chaff option
      • Added 160x Flares / Chaff + 1x AIM-9L (stock) option
    • Slot 3 changed :
      • Option changed : 1x AIM-7M, can't be equipped together with 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 -> 1x AIM-7M, can't be equipped together with 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 5
      • Option changed : 2x AIM-7M, can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-54A on slot 5 or 1x AIM-54C on slot 5 or 1x 500lb on slot 5 or 1x 1000 lb on slot 5 or 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 or 1x Mk. 82 AIR on slot 5 or 1x Mk 83 AIR on slot 5 -> 2x AIM-7M, can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-54A on slot 5 or 1x AIM-54C on slot 5 or 1x 500lb on slot 5 or 1x 1000 lb on slot 5 or 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 or 1x Mk. 82 AIR on slot 5 or 1x Mk 83 AIR on slot 5 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 5
      • Option changed : 2x AIM-54A, can't be equipped together with 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 -> 2x AIM-54A, can't be equipped together with 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 5
      • Option changed : 2x AIM-54C, can't be equipped together with 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 -> 2x AIM-54C, can't be equipped together with 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 5
      • Added 1x GBU-24/B option, must be equipped together with 1x LANTIRN on slot 7
    • Slot 4 changed : Added 1x GBU-24/B option, must be equipped together with 1x LANTIRN on slot 7
• F-16A-10 (ISR) :
  • New loadout : 6x Python 3
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9 changed : Added 1x Python 3 option
• G.91 3 :
  • New loadout : 2x Canon de 30mm DEFA 552 + 2x Mk. 82 Snakeye
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 2, 5 changed :Added 1x Mk. 82 Snakeye option
• G.91 4 (all) :
  • New loadout : 4x Machine Gun, Caliber .50, AN/M3 + 2x Mk. 82 Snakeye
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 2, 5 changed : Added 1x Mk. 82 Snakeye option
• G.91 Y :
  • New loadouts :
    • 2x AA.20
    • 2x AS.20
    • 2x AS.30
    • 4x Mk. 82 Snakeye
  • Custom loadout changes :
    • Slot 1, 4 changed : Added 1x Mk. 82 Snakeye option
    • Slot 2, 3 changed :
      • Added 1x Mk. 82 Snakeye option
      • Added 1x AS.20 option
      • Added 1x AA.20 option
      • Added 1x AS.30 option
• G.91 YS :
  • New loadout : 4x Mk. 82 Snakeye
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 2, 3, 4, 5 changed : Added 1x Mk. 82 Snakeye option
• GL 832 HY :
  • Float offset : 0.6 -> 0.4
  • DM rewritten
• Harrier G.R. Mk. 7 : Sight zoom : 1.51x / 1.86x -> 1.88x -> 6x
• Il-2 (1941) :
  • Loadouts changed :
    • 4x FAB-100 + 4x RBS-132 -> 4x FAB-100 + 8x RBS-132
    • 4x RBS-132 -> 8x RBS-132
    • 4x ROFS-132 -> 8x ROFS-132
    • 4x ROS-132 -> 8x ROS-132
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 1, 6 changed :
    • Option changed : 2x ROS-132 -> 4x ROS-132
    • Option changed : 2x ROFS-132 -> 4x ROFS-132
    • Option changed : 2x RBS-132 -> 4x RBS-132
• J8 (all) :
  • New loadouts :
    • 2x 500-4
    • 2x Model 500-3
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 2, 6 changed :
    • Added 1x Model 500-3 option
    • Added 1x 500-4 option
• Kfir C2 :
  • Updated cockpit
  • New loadouts :
    • 76x 2.75-inch FFAR Mk. 4 + 4x 500lb + 2x Python 3
    • 4x 500lb + 16x FFAR MK 32 MOD 0 + 2x Python 3
    • 4x 1000 lb + 2x Python 3
    • 2x 2000lb + 2x Python 3
    • 8x M117 + 2x Python 3
    • 2x Python 3
  • Removed loadouts :
    • 76x 2.75-inch FFAR Mk. 4 + 4x 500lb + 2x AIM-9G
    • 4x 500lb + 2x AIM-9G + 16x FFAR MK 32 MOD 0
    • 4x 1000 lb + 2x AIM-9G
    • 2x 2000lb + 2x AIM-9G
    • 2x AIM-9G + 8x M117
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 1, 7 changed : Added 1x Python 3 option
• Kfir C7 :
  • Updated cockpit
  • New loadout : 4x Python 3
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 1, 2, 6, 7 changed : Added 1x Python 3 option
• Ki 45 Kai Tei, Ki 84 (all) : Loadout changed : 2x 250 kg : Bombs are now dropped separately
• MiG-23 (all), MiG-27 (all) : Drop tank fuel mass : 800 -> 650 kg
• Mirage 2000-5F : Targeting pod zoom = 6.15x / 98.21x
• N1K2-Ja : Loadout changed : 4x 60 kg : Bombs are now dropped separately
• PBY-5A (late) (FR) : Side turrets : 12.7 mm AN/M2 -> 12.7 mm AN/M2 (late)
• Su-17 (all), Su-22 (all) : Drop tank fuel mass : 1600 -> 1300 kg
• Su-25T :
  • Drop tank fuel mass : 1600 -> 1300 kg
  • Targeting pod NVD :
    • Resolution : 500x300 -> 900x500
    • Light multiplier : 12 -> 8
  • New loadout : 4x S-25L
• Su-39 :
  • Drop tank fuel mass : 1600 -> 1300 kg
  • New loadouts:
    • 1x Kopyo-25 + 2x R-60M (stock)
    • 2x R-60M + 4x S-25L
• TB-3 : Cockpit is now considered open when it comes to sounds
• Tornado G.R. Mk. 1 :
  • Loadout changed : 2x PGM 2000 -> 3x PGM 2000
  • Custom loadout changes :
    • Slot 3, 9 changed : Added 1x PGM 2000 option
    • Slot 4 changed :
      • Added 1x PGM 2000 option, can't be equipped together with 1x PGM 2000 on slot 8
      • Removed 1x PGM 2000 option
    • Slot 6 changed :
      • Option changed : 1x 1000 lb, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slots 4, 8 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 -> 1x 1000 lb, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 4 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 8
      • Option changed : 1x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slots 4, 8 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 -> 1x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 4 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 8
      • Option changed : 1x 1000 lb, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slots 4, 8 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 -> 1x 1000 lb, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 4 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 8
      • Option changed : 1x MK 13 MOD 0 (Paveway), can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slots 4, 8 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8, must be equipped together with 1x TIALD on slot 4 -> 1x MK 13 MOD 0 (Paveway), can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 4 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 8, must be equipped together with 1x TIALD on slot 4
• BO 105 CB-2, Ka-29, Mi-24P (all), Mi-24V, Mi-28A, Mi-35M, UH-1B, UH-1C : Maximum number of simultaneously guided missiles is now limited to 1
• SA 342 L, Z9 (all), Z11WA : 12.7 mm gunpod : Mass : 130 -> 42.25 kg

Sensor changes :

• AI Mk. 24 Foxhunter (all) : ACM lock range : 9250 -> 18500 m
• AN/APG-66 (all) :
  • Transceiver antenna : Elevation : Angle of half sensitivity : 3.5 -> 4.8°
  • Narrow search pattern :
    • Pitch stabilization limit : 30 -> 60°
    • Period : 0.35 -> 0.65 s
    • Search zone : 5° x 20° -> 8° x 20°
  • Medium search pattern :
    • Elevation limits : -30° / 30° -> -60° / 60°
    • Pitch stabilization limit : 30 -> 60°
    • Period : 2 -> 3.8 s
    • Search zone : 10° x 60° -> 8° x 60°
  • Wide search pattern :
    • Elevation limits : -30° / 30° -> -60° / 60°
    • Pitch stabilization limit : 30 -> 60°
    • Period : 2 -> 3.8 s
    • Search zone : 5° x 120° -> 8° x 120°
  • HUD lock pattern :
    • Elevation limits : -30° / 30° -> -60° / 60°
    • Period : 1.3 -> 1 s
    • Search zone : 20° x 20° -> 19.2° x 20°
  • Vertical lock pattern :
    • Elevation limits : -30° / 30° -> -60° / 60°
    • Period : 1.3 -> 1 s
    • Search zone : 9.9° x 40° -> 9.6° x 40°
  • Acquisition pattern :
    • Elevation limits : -30° / 30° -> -60° / 60°
    • Search zone : 5° x 20° -> 4° x 20°
• AN/AWG-9 (TISEO) : Name : AN/AWG-9 / TISEO -> AN/AWG-9 / AN/AXX-1 TCS
• Kopyo-25 :
  • Ground standby : Name : PD HDN standby -> GTM standby
  • Ground search : Name : TWS HDN search -> GTM search
  • Ground TWS search : Name : TWS HDN search -> TWS GTM search
  • Ground TWS acquisition : Name : TWS HDN acquisition -> TWS GTM acquisition
  • Ground track : Name : PD HDN track -> GTM track
• Thales RDY, Thomson-CSF RDI :
  • PD modes replaced with MPRF and HPRF modes
  • All patterns : Elevation limits : -55° / 55° -> -60° / 60°

Naval changes :

• New vehicle files :
  • Émile Bertin (FR)
  • Marceau (FR)
• AF 99, AF 128, Krischan der Große, KS 5, LS (all), MZ 1, R 41, R 130, R 301, S 38, S 62, S 100 (all), S 204, S 701, SF 05, SF 07, VS 8, VS 10 : Removed 1 skin
• Ise : Engine Max Speed : 47.16 -> 46.8 km/h
• Freccia (P 493) : Loadout changed : 2x S.I. 270 L : Required modification changed : Stock torpedoes -> Torpedo tubes
• Aigle, Vautour : Moved Center of Gravity
• Chacal, Panthere :
  • Radio station, fire control room HP increased
  • Shell and charge ammo storage HP lowered
  • Added Two Fuel Tanks
  • Turret Armor : Antifragmentation armor -> RHA
• Colbert :
  • Horizontal armor above the steering : 30 -> 18 mm
  • Main turret floor : 30 -> 20 mm
  • Rangefinder HP lowered
  • Moment of Inertia : [62, 1500, 930] -> [70, 1710, 1050]
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Engine Acceleration Increased
  • Rudder area : 24 -> 30 m
  • Moved Cameras
  • Ammo Outside First Ammo Stage of third and fourth main turrets : Reload Time Multiplier : 1.5 -> 1.2
• Duguay-Trouin, Primauguet : Moved Camera
• Jeanne d'Arc :
  • Removed Free Respawn
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Engine Acceleration to 16.2 km/h lowered
• Leopard :
  • Secondary Guns can no longer be fired together with primary cannons
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Engine Max Speed : 65.736 -> 58.32 km/h
  • Armor Reworked
  • Added two 20 mm cannons
  • Removed two 40 mm, four 12.7 mm, four 13.2 mm cannons
  • Depth charges : WBG -> Mk. VII
  • Added ammo storage data
• Lorraine :
  • Now rearms in batches
  • First part of angled belt armor in the nose removed
  • Angled belt armor : Thickness : 70 -> 42 mm
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Engine Max Speed : 39.636 -> 38.124 km/h
  • Engine Acceleration lowered
  • Rudder area : 28 -> 38
  • Moved Cameras
  • Detection Height : 53.4 -> 42.4 m
  • Breaches :
    • Water Mass Multiplier : 280 -> 160
    • Additional Water Should Die Percent : 26 -> 21 %
    • Side Center Of Mass Offset Percent : 12 -> 10 %
• Milan :
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Added 6x 13.2 mm/76 Mle. 1929 Hotchkiss machine gun
• Paris :
  • Armor Reworked
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Engine Acceleration lowered
  • Rudder area : 28 -> 38
  • Moved Cameras

Ground vehicle changes :

• M4 (T26) : Added 8 Shell (in the ammo storage, it had less than the gun could use)
• T1E1 : Hull machine gun : Horizontal Limits : +/- 0 -> +/- 15°
• SPz 12-3 (Typ 3Z 8DLA) "Raketenautomat" :
  • Added servo turret turn sound
  • No longer has a magazine reload
  • Added Replenishment Delay = 4 s
  • Added Replenishment Time = 15 s
• BTR-80A :
  • Hull Top : 8 -> 6 mm
  • Gunner Hatch : 8 -> 19 mm
  • Turret : 13 -> 23 mm
  • Hull Top Hatches : 8 -> 6 mm
  • Engine Grille : 5 mm Structural steel -> 6 mm RHA
  • Water Shield : 13 mm RHAHH -> 5 mm Structural steel
  • Turret roof : 13 -> 23
  • Added small plate just under Gunner's Hatch to DM as 23 mm RHAHH
  • Engine Sound : MCTA V6 -> BTR80
  • Turret Turn Sound : Servo -> Manual
  • Added NVD projector
• Vickers Battle Tank Mk. 1 : Added Gun Mask to DM as 50 mm CHA
• Vijayanta :
  • Added Gun Mask to DM as 50 mm CHA
  • Added 4 Skins
• VBCI 2 (MCT-30) :
  • Almost all aluminium armor had their HP increased from 1000 to 10000
  • 1 Front plate inside the hull front : 45 -> 35 mm
  • Lower Hull Sides : 20 -> 35 mm
  • Inner Rear hull : 15 -> 35 mm
  • Plate above tracks : 15 -> 35 mm
  • Crew compartment floor : 15 -> 35 mm
  • Rear Door : 50 -> 35 mm
  • Turret : 40 -> 30 mm
  • Hull roof : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Front Hull Corners : 50 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Hull floor : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Armor around the Gun Breech : 25 -> 30 mm
  • Second layer of Upper Hull Sides : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Gun Mantlet : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • First layer of upper Hull Side : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Armor plate inside turret : 10 -> 30 mm
  • Armor in the middle of the turret ring : 25 -> 30 mm
  • Driver hatch : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Inner Part of the hull rear : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Inner Part of the rear door : 50 -> 35 mm
  • Small armors on the UFP : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Lower LFP : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Add-on UFP armor : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 5 mm RHA
  • Plate around rear Door : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Boxes next to turret : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Boxes on the front of hull : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 5 mm Structural steel
  • UFP : 5 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Front Hatches : 5 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • LFP : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Little Armor Box between wheels : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Part of the door : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • 1 front plate : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Engine Grilles : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Armor behind wheels : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • 12.7 mm Support : 25 -> 20 mm
  • Gun Mask: 65 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Turret sides: 42 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Turret back : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Turret Roof : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Front of turret : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Rear of turret upper plate : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Bottom of turret : 20 -> 30 mm
  • Part of turret ring : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Turret rear corners : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Turret roof hatches: 25 -> 30 mm
  • Plates next to gun : 25 -> 30 mm
  • Turret front corners : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Sight Support : 25 -> 30 mm
  • Part of turret ring : 5 mm Structural steel -> 30 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A
  • Gun support : 5 mm Structural steel -> 30 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A
  • Gun barrels :
    • HP : 200 -> 100
    • 35 -> 10 mm
  • Added plates between turret crew and driver compartment to DM as 10 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A
  • Added plates between the engine and turret crew, and in front of the driver to DM as 5 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A, visible in X-Ray
  • Added plate between 1st and 2nd wheels on the right side to DM as 12 mm RHAHH
  • Added Driver periscope to DM as 5 mm Structural steel
  • Removed 4 plate of 25 mm, 3 plate of 30 mm and 1 plate of 65 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A, 5 plate of 5 mm Structural steel, 4 optics
  • Cannon breech, horizontal turret drive, transmission and ammo can no longer be overpressured
  • 30 mm Bushmaster 2 Mk. 44 cannon :
    • Horizontal Speed : 30 -> 60 °/s
    • Vertical Speed : 8 -> 60 °/s
    • Vertical Limit : [-8, 20] -> [-10, 45]°
    • Added 2 Plane Stabilizer (mfw first french IFV and first french Stabilized vehicle is a premium ))))
  • 12.7 mm M2 HB : Sight can now use NVD
  • Added Commander Sight (Also Stabilized)
  • Second and fourth set of wheels now have 10° steering
  • Zoom : 10 -> [2, 14.74]
  • FoV : 3.9 -> 17°
  • Added Target Tracker
  • Gunner Thermal :
    • 500x300 -> 1200x800
    • Noise Factor : 0.05 -> 0.04
  • Added Commander Thermal :
    • 1200x800
    • Noise Factor = 0.04
  • Driver NVD :
    • 800x600 -> 1200x800
    • Light Multiplier : 5 -> 7
  • Added Ammo Storage data
• Sherman Mk. IVb (M3) : Added a First Ammo Stage of 23 shells (Reload x 1.33 beyond)
• Magach 6 Bet Gal : Added Delay between Smoke Salvo = 0.5 s

Current Dev version : 2.26.0.40
Current Dev-Stable version : 2.25.1.135
Current Live version : 2.25.1.135

Intro:
I test drove a Taycan Turbo a couple of years ago and absolutely fell in love with the car. It had this amazing blend of performance and technology that really appealed to me, but unfortunately was very much out of my price range.
I was fortunate enough to get some lucky rolls of the dice financially and was able to add a C8 Corvette to my garage while still maintaining a Model 3 Performance as a daily driver. I had long thought that this was the ultimate price performance power combo. The Model 3 Performance punches way above its weight class for the price. While the C8 provides the supercar driving experience for a fraction of the money. Though the power combo is a match that I am very lucky to have in my garage, all isn’t perfect. I spend the vast majority of my time in my Tesla and there are a lot of instances where it doesn’t quite feel special or unique enough nowadays. Likewise, I hate buying gas for my C8, and despite its overall driving prowess it does actually feel a little slow compared to my Model 3 due to its lack of instantaneous torque that I’ve grown accustomed to. I also feel like I have a lot of money being spent on a C8 that I only get to experience on the weekends so have been curious if there’s a way to experience a bit more of that “specialness” day to day.
I then looked at some used Porsche Taycans randomly one day and noticed that used 4S models and used Turbo models were well below the combined price of both of my Tesla and Corvette. So for the past few weeks I became obsessed with the question of whether a single Taycan could give me the best of both my Model 3 and Corvette in a package that was ultimately cheaper than the combined cost of both cars.
I decided to rent a modestly specced Taycan 4S on turo and arrange for an unscientific shoot out amongst all three cars.
About the cars:
https://imgur.com/a/UozILRv
I unfortunately do not know much about the Taycan 4S I rented on Turo however it looked to have the premium pack equipped, the larger performance plus battery, and not much else. It came on the car’s stock standard 19” aero rims.
The Model 3 Performance is a 2022 model year with the refreshed interior.
The C8 is a 2021 2LT with the Z51 package, Magnaride, and front end lift.
Handling (all three)
The handling and ride comfort on all three of these cars is quite good but the Taycan and Corvette are a clear notch above the Tesla. When competing head to head the Corvette beats out the Taycan as a whole due to its weight advantage, but it’s surprising how close the Taycan is to the Corvette.
The Tesla has the least sophisticated suspension of the bunch, but it has quick and darty steering which makes it feel especially agile with its low center of gravity and punchy acceleration. Unfortunately on the twisties the Tesla begins to really lose confidence and starts to wash out somewhere between the 70-80mph range, whereas the other two cars feel planted and ask you to push them further. Likewise, the Tesla’s brakes really aren’t up to the task of bailing you out of any situation once you get into that 70-80mph range on the twisties. Interestingly the Model 3 does weigh about 800lbs less than the Taycan and you can very much feel that weight advantage when throwing it into turns and other tight maneuvers.
The Taycan has the most sophisticated suspension of the bunch with an adaptive air suspension that can adjust both ride height and stiffness. Taycans with more performance options included can also have rear wheel steer, advanced torque vectoring, and anti-roll control, but my Taycan was not equipped with these luxuries. The big elephant in the room is the Taycan’s weight, which can be anywhere between 4800lbs-5100lbs depending on your model, options, etc. Around town you very much feel the Taycan’s extra weight, but it simultaneously also does a good job hiding it.
For instance, my neighborhood has a small roundabout that I had each car take at about 30 mph. Both the Tesla and Model 3 had no problem coming out of the roundabout in a relatively tight and controlled fashion, whereas the Taycan definitely felt like it was having a hard time committing to the line the other cars could take. On the flip side, with more curvaceous terrain (say a canyon or moderate twisties) the car feels very planted, confidence inspiring, capable, and it asks you to push it further. The brakes also feel like they are very capable of bailing you out of any situation. You notice the Tesla’s 4000lb weight with its brakes more than you notice the Taycan’s 4800lbs under braking. Steering in the Taycan is very direct and responsive, but due to the car’s weight and size it can actually feel a little boat-like compared to the other cars when driving them back to back.
As an overall package the Corvette yielded the best result in terms of handling. The steering is quick, easy to place, and communicative compared to the other cars. While I typically feel like the Corvette is a large car, it began to feel very small compared to the Taycan. The biggest difference was its 1100lb weight advantage which allowed it to transition and set itself up much more quickly compared to the other cars in all facets of a corner. The brakes on the Corvette are also superb and legitimately feel like you’re dropping an anchor when you put full pressure on them. Now I will say the Taycan wasn’t far off the Corvette’s mark as a whole, especially on the street, but you could typically feel the Taycan needing to sort itself due to its weight whereas everything felt like it came much more naturally to the Corvette.
Ride Comfort (all three)
I put this in a separate category because I find ride comfort makes a big impact on performance and how hard you can push a car, but also has a lot of implications for how the vehicle accomplishes day to day tasks.
The Taycan is the overall winner of ride comfort here, while the Corvette is not too far behind, and the Tesla is last.
The Tesla has the least sophisticated suspension of the bunch so it’s not exactly a fair fight. While I personally do not find the Tesla to be harsh to experience day to day, on longer trips it can be a fatiguing car to be in, and you do realize what you are missing in the Model 3 after riding in the Taycan and the Corvette. Still I find the Tesla to have a really nice blend of sportiness, comfort, and control.
The C8’s ride quality is superb with magna-ride giving the car a noticeable adjustment in personality and handling characteristics between, tour, sport, and track modes. The C8’s suspension makes it incredibly comfortable to be in for long periods of time, and highway cruising very much feels like a dream on this car. That being said, I do find that certain imperfections can unsettle the car and oddly the car has a tendency to shift diagonally or to the side as opposed to absorbing a bump vertically. This hasn’t ever really caught me off in serious driving, but it can be slightly disconcerting feeling the car shift in what feels to be an unintuitive way. In spirited driving a noticed very little difference between the Taycan’s suspension and the Corvette’s. This isn’t to say that there weren’t differences, just both cars provided a seemingly comparable amount of confidence and ride comfort.
The Taycan does edge out the Corvette in ride comfort because it does present a much smoother ride in normal, day to day conditions. Again, it’s not like the Corvette has a bad ride by any means, but the Taycan’s air suspension does provide a high degree of isolation, and you very much feel like you’re on a cloud whereas the Corvette does transmit a small degree of imperfections and can give the impression of being stiff in some instances compared to the Taycan.
What I found with the Taycan is increasing suspension aggressiveness (ride height, and damper settings) never seemed to actually compromise ride quality, it just improved the level of control and how “tight” the car felt overall. Whereas in the Corvette tour mode can feel a little too soft and floaty, sport essentially allows you to take everything with a single controlled “bump”, and track tightens things up but also transmits a bunch of imperfections that don’t exactly give you more feedback about what the car is doing, nor help improve your confidence.
Again, this isn’t to say that the Corvette’s ride quality is bad by any means…it’s pretty fantastic. In my opinion the Tacyan has the best performance oriented ride quality I’ve ever felt, and the Corvette just happens to be second best.
Acceleration (all three)
I would say the acceleration amongst all three of these cars is a dead heat on the streets. They each deliver an incredible amount of power and speed but they do so differently and I think anyone will find joy in how these cars accelerate.
If we were to do a drag race the Tesla would be the quickest of the bunch. It has a very “bursty” amount of speed and torque that it’s happy to deliver in immense doses from anywhere between 0-80mph. The Model 3 also obtained the highest “G” acceleration out of the three cars. With a .9 G from a dead stop and .7 G being delivered with a full stab of the throttle at speed. Though the Tesla definitely feels the quickest on the road, it does lose steam at around 80mph and the car generally doesn’t feel like it wants to go much faster than 100mph. The beauty of the Tesla’s power delivery is how easy it is. Just press the pedal and you’ll get the full beans no matter what you’re doing.
The Taycan has an interesting approach to its acceleration. It has a 2-speed gear box which allows the car to deliver a bit more torque at higher speeds. This gearbox does give the Taycan a very healthy amount of pull at 80mph, and the car doesn’t feel like it’s running out of steam past 100mph. That high-end speed does come at the expense of some low-end responsiveness. When at a dead stop and mashing the pedal, the car will sometimes hesitate for a split moment as it tries to decide which gear to use. Likewise the Taycan’s acceleration feels much more linear. The Tesla wants to melt your face off right from the get-go, but the Taycan keeps pushing you back in your seat the longer you use the pedal.
I’m really not a fan of using launch control on the street, since I just find the setup procedure to not always be appropriate when other traffic is around. However the Taycan’s launch mode is an absolute treat. It rockets you back initially and then the 2nd gear kicks in several seconds later and you get another surge of speed. Where a Tesla’s launch feels like it’s probably good for about 4 seconds worth of enjoyment, a Taycan’s feels like it’s good for about 8-10 seconds worth of fun.
The Taycan pulled .8 G in launch mode but could only manage to pull .4 G when mashing the pedal at basically any speed, I think this .4 G acceleration is due to the car’s weight and how linearly Porsche decides to deliver the power.
The Corvette decidedly feels the least torquey of the bunch, but has the best power to weight ratio and has no problem letting its speed climb to very high numbers with seemingly little effort. I rarely use launch control in my C8, so while I don’t have a launch G-force to compare to, the Corvette was regularly pulling .55 and .65 G’s doing 3rd and 4th gear pulls. It did pull .7 G’s on a second gear pull, but due to how the torque builds the .7 G’s did not feel nearly as strong or as aggressive as Tesla’s .7 G’s.
So to describe the acceleration characteristics broadly.
The Tesla is the 0-80mph champion and the quickest off the line. The Porsche is slower and less responsive off the line, but gives you a much better pull 80mph+ and has a more satisfying torque/acceleration curve all around. Despite being a torque monster of an ICE vehicle, the Corvette feels the least torquey all throughout but feels like it’s the quickest and easiest to hit high numbers in. It particularly loves 3rd and 4th gear pulls.
Canyon Carving (all three)
I took all three cars through a nearby canyon that I essentially drive every weekend and did the same loop in each car. Trying to push it as much as I felt comfortable/safe to do so.
The first car up was the Taycan. After driving the Taycan around town and feeling its weight in certain corners and a slightly hesitant acceleration in some instances, I was ready to write it off compared to the Corvette. Boy was I wrong.
The Taycan attacks canyon corners with a supreme amount of confidence and is happy to load you up on a variety of G-forces. Its suspension, even in its stiffest “sports plus” setting never felt rough or punishing, it simply provided more control over the vehicle. Despite the car’s weight, the brakes felt completely capable of keeping me out of trouble. I honestly thought the Taycan would start to let off or give up the more I pushed it, and instead it was very happy asking for more.
What I particularly enjoyed was the fact that the silent EV motors let me push the car quite a bit without drawing too much attention to myself. Likewise if I got stuck behind slower moving traffic, it felt more “okay” than it did in the Corvette because I wasn’t burning gas, and the car is a little more suited to normal driving.
With EV’s there’s also very much an “invisible safety blanket” that the electric motors and traction control feel like they provide. They are so fast to respond to everything, that you really do feel like you can never get yourself into trouble. The Corvette has a healthy amount of aides as well, but they feel like “Orc” technology compared to an EV’s “Elven” technology.
I will be honest in saying that I was probably able to push the Taycan harder than I was able to push the Corvette and it made me feel like a bit of a superhero in the car. I honestly couldn’t believe that a car that had 4 doors was able to essentially give me a very comparable canyon carving experience to my Corvette. My neck and back were actually tired due to the G’s I was able to pull in the Taycan and I’ve yet to feel that in the Corvette.
I then hopped into my Corvette and it was like having the best college football team play against an NFL team. Yes there’s a ton of talent on that college football team but the NFL team is just operating at a whole different pace. The Corvette was able to take everything I threw at it with ease. If I had the Taycan operating at 7/10ths the Corvette was able to achieve those speeds at what felt like closer to 5/10ths for it.
The C8 felt much quicker to respond to every input and felt like it was always ready to continue accelerating due to its lighter weight, whereas the Taycan would almost take a moment to settle itself before rocking you back with its power.
As mentioned above, I did have a hard time pushing the Corvette as hard as the Taycan for two reasons. First the exhaust very much announces how hard you are pushing the car and there’s only so much you can do while still appearing somewhat outwardly responsible. Secondly, the Corvette doesn’t quite feel like it has the “invisible shield” of the Taycan which will not only bail you out of any problem, but will also prevent you from getting into any problem to begin with. This isn’t to say that the Corvette isn’t confidence inspiring, or doesn’t do a lot to help you as a driver, but you get the sense that Corvette can find itself in a situation where it really can’t help you, and the Taycan makes it feel like that’s never a possibility.
Though the Corvette felt like it was much more of a natural in the canyons (and rightfully so), that next level of performance in the Corvette feels like it’s something you have to explore at the track, whereas the Taycan feels like it can give you everything its got in the canyons. In a way the Taycan feels like it is much more optimized to be fun, fast, and enjoyable in a canyon, where the Corvette has a lot of track capability that translates well to the canyons, but some of that track capability is an edginess that you don’t really want to explore on the streets and doesn’t exactly translate to driving fun as directly as the Taycan’s driving experience does.
The Tesla was the least impressive of the bunch in the canyons. It had the most rapid acceleration, but would consistently wash-out around 70mph or so. Whereas the other two cars would give you what you asked for and then ask you to push them more, the Tesla would kind of go “I gave you an awesome acceleration, what do you mean you need me to do something else?”
The regenerative braking on the Tesla also makes it hard to push.. Whereas the Taycan and Corvette could just carry quite a bit of momentum after an acceleration, the Tesla wants to slow down immediately after you left off the accelerator. Now in track mode you can decrease the amount of regeneration that you encounter (which I did), but you then begin to experience the fact that the brakes feel underpowered without the regen present. So it was very hard to connect the corners as seamlessly as you could in the Corvette and Taycan. The Tesla was very much “let’s slow down going in and accelerate like crazy going out…only to slow back down immediately after corner exit” whereas the Corvette and Taycan were just flying between corners and transitions without any hesitation.
This isn’t to say that the Tesla isn’t fun or can’t be fun in the canyons. In fact I’d say it could pretty handedly curb stomp say a stock C6 Corvette in a canyon. But it very much makes its limitations known and is the least eager to be there.
I would say the Corvette is the winner here by virtue of its talent, but the Taycan is actually the more impressive car to experience in the canyons. You’ll feel like you’re going faster, puling more G’s, and are ultimately safer in the Taycan than you will in the Corvette.
Fun Factor (Corvette vs. Porsche)
This is a tricky one where both cars trade quite a few blows but the Corvette ultimately wins.
The Corvette displays a lot of personality. It is flashy to look at, the engine can draw a lot of attention, and the car presents itself as being totally focused on going fast. You very much do get quite a bit of the supercar experience in the Corvette.
However, the Corvette’s flashiness does have some legitimate downsides. People automatically assume I’m a jerk when I’m in it, traffic is noticeably less accommodating, and I’ve had people go out of their way to try to screw with me. Likewise when you encounter slower traffic in a Corvette it feels like a complete let down. This isn’t to say that the car isn’t comfortable at slower speeds or anything like that, it’s just that the Corvette needs some open space around it for it to really start to show itself and that can be hard to find in a world full of Priuses and folks who like to text while driving.
Interestingly, the Corvette’s comfortable suspension and ability to really back down its aggressiveness in tour mode, makes it a really enjoyable cruiser. Some of my favorite moments in the car have been putting around small little neighborhood roads at 25 mph exploring places I’ve never been to before with some good tunes playing in the background.
In a world full of EV’s the lack of instant torque does make the Corvette feel like it’s missing a bit of an edge in its performance. The C8 is still incredibly fast by all marks and measures, but it isn’t quite satiating me with its acceleration like Corvettes used to in a world prior to EV’s.
The Taycan very much brings you into its own elegant world. When you get inside the car there is almost a deliberate pause, and then the screens burst to life, the seat pushes you towards the steering wheel and you get the sense that the car is ready and willing to take you on its own specially curated trip now that you’ve entered it.
There is a strong level of enjoyment for how nice the car looks and feels on the inside and the perceived level of quality it is able to provide. Every passenger I had in the Taycan kept remarking to themselves “Oh man…this is nice”. I also personally feel like this is the best looking Porsche on the market. It feels properly futuristic, striking and timeless. It very much holds its own compared to the Corvette and you’re always going to enjoy walking up to it and turning around to get one more look before walking away.
The Taycan feels like it can switch itself into a bonafide sports car at any point. I’ve had many occasions where I’ve unexpectedly found myself on a nice stretch of road in my Tesla and wishing I could be in my Corvette. With the Taycan it’s a simple switch to sports mode and you’re there. You can also drive the Taycan much more aggressively without bringing as much attention to yourself. It feels like your own private sports car when you’re inside of it, almost like you’re going undercover so that you can drive however you want in peace.
The Corvette in contrast is very good for those times when you want to give everyone around you the proverbial middle finger. I’ve had times when I’ve been upset at work or situations in life, and just seeing how mean and aggressive the Corvette looks and to experience how pissed off it can sound has made me feel better. It’s a cathartic car to be in and it can really inspire you to keep fighting when you’re feeling a little down.
Lastly, the Corvette has one major advantage over the Taycan and that’s the fact that the roof can come off. There’s just some days where things are better with the top off,the Corvette gives you the option to experience that whenever you need to and I’ve found it to be incredibly gratifying.
Range (Model 3 vs Taycan)
I’d also say that range is a pretty contested topic between these two cars. The Tesla has a very impressive EPA rating of around 300 miles, but most owners (myself included) feel like they do not get anywhere near that range. The Taycan has an objectively abysmal EPA rating of around 220 miles, but most owners feel like the rating is more accurate in the real world or that they can beat the rating by hefty margins.
I did a healthy amount of driving in the Taycan when I had it and subjectively felt that the range dropped about as fast as it dropped in my Tesla when driving like a normal human being. But when I drove the Taycan just a bit more conservatively its range seemed to hold a bit longer than the Tesla’s so I personally feel like that behavior lends credence to what a lot of Taycan owners claim.
I did a few comparisons to measure each car’s range consumption. I unfortunately did not have the time to measure the cars on the exact same route for all of the tests etc. But I drove each car in conditions that I would typically encounter in real life and I feel like this gave me a good enough sense of what I could encounter if I were to buy a Taycan.
One thing to note, the Taycan very much likes to adjust its range estimate based on what mode you’re in and how you’re driving. You can set off for the day with 120 miles of indicated range, put the car in sports mode to take a freeway onramp, and you can come back to normal mode having only 95 miles of range simply because of that sports mode flip and how the Taycan re-estimates its range under sports mode driving conditions.
The Tesla on the other hand seems to stick to its indicated range no matter what but it ops to have it drop much quicker to adjust to your driving style. You’ll never see the Tesla go from 120 miles to 95 miles in an instant like you would in the Taycan, but the Tesla will very quickly subtract down from 120 to 95 miles over the course of say 6 miles if it thinks you’re pushing it hard.
Range Test:
I did an “economical” driving test on both the Taycan and Tesla.
For the Taycan I drove 36 miles on mostly range mode with the speed limiter set to 85 mph. Traffic varied between 70-85mph and the car was generally just keeping up with the flow of traffic, not trying to hyper mile, not trying to push itself.
The car departed with 45% state of charge with a 112 mile range indicated and arrived with a 29% state of charge with a 77 mile range indicated. Interestingly the Taycan’s range estimate was pretty spot on being only 1 mile off.
Considering I got 36 miles for about 16% state of charge I’d have around 225 miles of range with this style of driving.
In the Tesla I did a 25 mile highway drive with similar conditions and speeds. Not trying to hyper mile, not trying to push, just keeping up with the general flow of traffic.
The Tesla left with a 58% state of charge and 169 miles of indicated range and arrived with a 48% state of charge and 140 miles of indicated range. The Tesla’s range estimate was a bit less accurate in this particular scenario, but not offensively so. If I were to extrapolate the 10% state of charge per 25 miles of range I would end up with about 250 miles of range with this style of driving.
Lastly I took both cars on an identical 30 mile canyon run loop. The goal here was to push each car about as hard as I felt comfortable doing. So it included several full throttle accelerations, and just lots of aggressive driving.
The Taycan departed with a 49% state of charge and 132 miles of indicated range and returned with a 28% state of charge and 82 miles left of indicated range. Given the approximate 21% stage of charge loss per 30 miles the Taycan could expect to get around 150 miles of range with this style of driving.
The Tesla departed with a 76% state of charge and 221 miles of indicated range and returned with a 61% state of charge and 177 miles of indicated range. Given the Tesla’s 15% state of charge loss per 30 miles one could expect to get around 190 miles of range with this style of driving.
My general takeaway is the Taycan can hold its own on the highway when driving normally, but the Taycan seems to dump energy much faster than the Tesla when driving aggressively. Likewise, though the Tesla seems to subtract its indicated mileage much faster per state of charge percentage, the Tesla is subtracting from a larger number of miles altogether at around 300 miles of range so you don’t feel like you’re really in any range trouble until you get to the 50 mile mark or so. Whereas in the Taycan you can hit that 50 mile remaining number much more readily and feel the range anxiety set in.
I actually think a big issue with the Taycan is how readily it dumps power when you do push it in a canyon environment. I sometimes have to drive 40 miles to a canyon or twisty road so I can see the Taycan dumping a substantial amount of charge in the canyon itself and not having enough juice to get back.
As a whole I’d probably have to think about range a bit more in the Taycan than I would in the Tesla so the Tesla is the winner here, but I do think I could get the Taycan to work for a lot of situations that I normally encounter.
Cargo Space/Practicality (Model 3 vs Taycan)
A big appeal of the Taycan is the notion of having a pretty sporty driving experience without having to quite sacrifice all of the space that one would in a traditional sports car. While the Taycan does an admirable job on this front the Model 3 does edge it out by a noticeable margin.
I have (5) bags that I keep in my car at all times for work. In the Tesla these are split between the frunk, trunk, and under trunk storage. While things can get tight in the Tesla between these bags I can arrange them in a way where I still have room for something else or a few grocery bags if necessary.
While the Taycan did accommodate all (5) bags it felt maxed out once I got them all in there and I had to arrange the trunk in a particular way to get everything to fit so the trunk could close whereas that is not necessary on the Tesla.
Critically the Taycan’s frunk actually looks to have more storage potential than the Model 3’s thanks to its extra depth, however several of my bags were just ever so slightly too wide to make use of that extra depth. This is likely an inches vs centimeters thing and some slightly different sized bags would likely solve the problem, but I do think it’s something other folks with bags that use Imperial dimensions would run into.
Surprisingly both the frunk and trunk in the Tesla are much nicer to operate compared to the Taycan’s.
The Taycan’s frunk requires you to slide a safety latch to open it while neither the Tesla or Corvette’s frunk requires this. Likewise Tesla’s powered lift gate appears to move faster, does not make an annoying “beeping” noise as it is closing, and the hard plastic interior liner on the backside of Tesla’s trunk is much nicer than the Taycan’s carpeted liner.
Inside the cabin the Tesla has much more space for the rear seats as well as more leg and head room. Likewise the Tesla’s center console offers loads of storage potential plus convenient wireless charging for two. Whereas the Taycan has a janky wireless charger included (that is hard to access and didn’t seem to work for me) and much more limited storage options throughout the cabin.
This isn’t to say that the Taycan’s storage offerings wouldn’t work for most people. But a Tesla owner would have to make decisions about what to not include if moving into a Taycan. There’s something to be said about the Model 3 having smaller dimensions all around and more space to put stuff.
Parking Lot/Tight Spaces (all three)
I personally work in downtown LA frequently and have to navigate my car through tight parking areas and other urban gems. Likewise, I find that parking lots can generally be stressful, especially in nicer cars like a Corvette or Taycan, so an ease of navigating through them does make a marked difference in one’s overall enjoyment.
Here I would say the Taycan and Model 3 are a dead heat whereas the Corvette is a few steps behind both cars.
I have a particular turn around point in my neighborhood cul-de-sac that I consistently have to navigate through. Both the Taycan and Model 3 were able to clear the turn around point at comparable distances whereas the Corvette had to do a 3-point turn.
Supposedly the Corvette has a tighter turn radius than the outgoing C7 but it honestly does not feel that way to me. In tight quarters or parking lot situations, the Corvette feels like it’s a bit helpless to maneuver and I’ve had myself get into trouble with it on a few occasions. Nothing particularly damning or impossible to get out of, but instances where cars are looking at me and are wondering why I’m not making a turn when their car feels like it has enough space in the parking lot.
The Tesla does feel a bit easier to place due to its smaller size and I also find that its parking sensors and rear view camera do a lot to assist you. The Model 3 is frankly the easiest car I’ve had to park and I have no complaints about its turning radius, size, etc. in these situations.
Considering the Taycan’s extra dimensions its turning radius feels like it’s better than the Tesla’s inch for inch, but the extra dimensions do make it a bit less seamless to place and the cameras/driver assistance features do not work consistently enough to rely on. But you can park the car without being too far off the mark of the Model 3, and you are nowhere near the silly situations that can be encountered in the Corvette.
While my particular rental did not have rear axle steering equipped, I do feel like a rear axle steering equipped Taycan would be comparable to place compared to a Model 3 on all accounts and the Taycan without rear axle steering was plenty easy to generally park and maneuver around parking lots despite its size.
Traffic/Daily Driving Comfort (Model 3 vs Taycan)
So this is a major point of emphasis for me between Model 3 and Taycan because I do find myself driving in all sorts of traffic conditions and just need the car to be easy to deal with no matter what I encounter.
The Tesla is a smaller vehicle, has a default ride height that basically never scrapes, has a very helpful nav and parking sensors, and things like one pedal drive and auto hold make for a very “zen-like” driving experience. I’ve basically never encountered a driving situation that made me feel uncomfortable in my Tesla. Likewise the smaller size and instantaneous torque makes it very easy to just slot oneself in wherever needed.
The Taycan is a larger vehicle and it does not offer a one pedal driving mode, both of which made me worry about the Taycan’s overall comfort. However I actually did not miss one pedal driving nearly as much as I thought I would on the Taycan. The lack of one pedal drive allows the car to just glide along somewhat effortlessly, and though you do need to be more aware as a driver, it somehow feels less frenetic than the Tesla. I can’t say it’s preferable to one pedal driving, but it works well enough that I don’t mind not having one pedal driving accessible in the Taycan.
I had a harder time slotting the Taycan into tight spaces compared to the Tesla. This is partially because of the Taycan’s size and partially because its throttle response is not as instantaneous. Likewise, I did have to be mindful of ride height in certain situations, which did add a layer of stress that I am not as used to anymore in my daily commute.
Something about the Taycan does feel like it protects you from the outside world a bit more than the Tesla. The ride is a lot more insulated, helping you arrive in a fresher state and the car drives in a way where it feels like it never really has to assert itself. In the Tesla I feel like I often have to get scrappy to get myself into a position that I’d like, but the Taycan never really calls for it.
Visibility between the Taycan and Tesla is pretty comparable, but the Taycan’s mirrors do feel like they are in a better position to see behind you, and the blind spot warning system gives you an immediate level of awareness that the Tesla does not offer.
After going back and forth between both cars the Taycan’s steering across all modes feels a bit more weighty and effortful. This becomes a disadvantage on the streets because you do feel this steering weight along with the car’s actual weight when making tighter maneuvers, but on the highway the Taycan feels much more sure footed and its steering works better there compared to the Tesla’s.
As an odd point of consideration, I do think the Tesla is a nicer cabin to be in when the car’s not moving. It feels a little more spacious and I’ve had no problems working on my laptop in the front seat or taking a nap in the rear seat. I think taking a nap in the rear seat of a Taycan would be hard to accomplish because of how the rear seat is shaped. While the front seat offers plenty of space to work if needed, the car generally feels like it wants you to drive it, whereas the Tesla is okay with you hanging out in it. However the Taycan actually feels like the nicer to cabin to be in when you are moving. That protection and insolation from the outside world just really gives you a sense of comfort and escape which is nice.
A big thing that helps the Taycan is the fact that it does have a “hold” feature if you press the brake pedal down strongly when at a stop. Now the Tesla can do this for you every single time your car comes to a stop, but I found that being able to have the option to “hold” in the Taycan was a minor tipping point in daily driving/comfort that helps it compared to the Tesla.
All in all I’d say the Tesla wins this particular category. But the Taycan is not as far off in this category as I remember it being.
Highway Driving (all three)
The Taycan is the best highway driver of the three. It is smooth, well insulated, and happy to give you a strong shove of torque no matter what speed you are going on the highway. One of my worries with the Taycanwas the lack of one pedal driving making it feel less comfortable to drive on the highway, but I actually found its auto recuperation mode to be a big win.
Auto Recuperation essentially allows the car to coast when it is not near other vehicles, helping to optimize range, but when it is near vehicles it adds regen and frictional braking to help keep a safe distance. With this on I found that I actually had to touch the pedals less than I had to when in the Tesla, and found that the system did a good job keeping me at safe distances and generally out of trouble.
The Tesla is the next best of the bunch. It does have noticeably louder wind and road noises at highway speeds, but it has a punchy torque delivery from 60-80mph which makes it very easy to slot itself into small gaps in the highway. However the Tesla’s power does seem to fall off past 80mph compared to the Taycan. One pedal driving on the Tesla is very much a treat, as it makes it very easy to respond to changing road conditions (just take your foot off the pedal and you’ve scrubbed 10mph off your speed in a few seconds). Likewise in stop and go traffic situations it makes everything very easy and comfortable to manage. However you do find yourself having to constantly apply the throttle pedal to maintain highway speeds. So while the Tesla does a great job on the highway, the Taycan feels like it is much more optimized for it as a whole.
The Corvette is very comfortable on the highway thanks to its adaptive dampers and you can tell that it’s a car that is happy to eat miles for you. I’d say it’s definitely one of the easiest and most relaxing sports cars to take on a longer road trip. Unfortunately, you begin to really miss EV torque when on the highway with the Corvette. You can drop a few gears, rev like crazy, get yourself up 100mph and it feels like nothing happened compared to how much instantaneous torque the Taycan and Model 3 offer at highway speeds. Likewise I’m often happy to push the Model 3 to higher speeds on the highway because of how quiet the car is, but past 80mph the Corvette’s style and exhaust essentially announces “Come look at me I’m breaking the law!” or in some people’s eyes “I’m a douchebag”. So you do have to be much more mindful of your throttle usage.
The Corvette does also have an odd size and seating position that just makes it hard to really feel confident shooting a gap on the highway. So the lack of instantaneous torque and its odd shape/size makes it the least enjoyable highway cruiser, though it still does an incredible job for an ICE sports car and is by no means bad by other measures.
Conclusion:
So can the Taycan best a C8 Model 3 Combo?
The Taycan’s driving experience really is good enough where it is an incredibly tempting proposition. I personally think you get very close to the experience of how a Corvette cuts up canyons, with a lot of the convenience and practicality you’d expect from an EV. In my eyes it's currently as close as you can get to a sports car while having 4 doors. For me a big source of its appeal is being able to experience the speed and specialness of the Corvette a lot more frequently in day to day driving scenarios and to experience that speed in a way that draws a lot less attention and feels generally safer on the streets.
However this math only makes sense looking at the used market. Used Taycan Turbo and 4S models can be had for $110Kish, and really the Taycan Turbo is the one to make a move on at that price range. However at around $140K new for say a well optioned 4S the C8 and Model 3 combo makes more sense.
All in all the Taycan really is the first proper "do it all" car that I have encountered and I think we have a lot to look forward to with a plethora of of EV options coming to market soon.

Hello all, I built my first loop a couple days ago and while it's not pretty, it does work. I have a DDC pump running in a phanteks res, a 360 and a 240mm rad. See here. The thing that troubles me is that the highflow2 I have reports a flow rate of about 40l/h on 100% pump speed, which seems low to me based on other things I've read on here.
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I've tried bleeding the systems as much as I can, but I suspect that either the sensor location is giving me a low reported flowrate or there is actually still some air present in the top rad that is lowering the flowrate
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If anyone has any insights I'm all ears. I'm likely going to be redesigning the loop in the coming weeks anyways bc I didn't plan the loop out as well as I would've wanted

Dear Lord, I confess my sins to both the world and unto you.
I’m sorry for not accepting the forgiveness that you offer. I don’t have it within me to forgive myself and by the nonacceptance of your gift of salvation, I have willingly turned myself away from you.
I accept the punishment that only you can so perfectly deliver and I pray that I find solace in that most blessed moment of judgment.
Thank you Lord for all that you have given us and all that we have received.
Amen.
Dear Listener,
I also must extend my apologies onto you. Whether or not you chose to continue reading this does not alter what is to come. I have made a choice that I will be judged for. In turn I pray for not my salvation, but yours.
My name is Father Michael Roberts of the Diocese of Richford. I was ordained a Catholic Priest in 2005. In 2016 I was chosen by Bishop Stanley Niles to receive the duty of becoming a full time exorcist.
Bishop Niles made it clear that he did not believe in the necessity of exorcists and provided me with the title as a mere obligation to fulfill his duty as a Bishop.
Despite knowing that I had always performed my duties to the best of my ability. I knew that I was chosen due to my belief in the physical, mental and spiritual reality of demonic involvement within our world.
Contrary to popular belief, not every Priest believes in the physical reality of the demonic. In fact, less and less of those ordained by the Church are finding the literary truth that resides within the Bible.
This has led to a weakening of the Church.
During an exorcism, an exorcist utilizes not just the faith of those immediately involved, but he also uses the faith of the Church in its entirety.
My mentor, Father Cecil Rollo, told me once that exorcisms used to only take one or two sessions before the demon would be cast out. Now it’s not uncommon for a possession to take months to overcome.
That leads me into sharing the experience that made me write this.
My final exorcism.
On May 3rd I was contacted by the Catholic Church of the Good Shepherd. Specifically by their secretary, Laura Summers. Initially, I thought this was a little abnormal. Usually I would be contacted by either the presiding Priest of the parish or have a direct notice from Bishop Niles himself.
But when I read Laura’s email I understood why she was the one initiating the contact.
‘Father Roberts, my name is Laura Summers and I’m attempting to contact you in regards to our own Father, Matthew Amora.
Please take this request as a personal favor. We don’t want to bring this matter to the attention of the Diocese just yet. Not until we’re certain that something otherworldly is occurring.
Could you take some time to visit our Church and meet with me?
With regards, Laura.’
I vaguely knew of Father Amora. He had a small parish in the countryside of Beverly and frequented Catholic retreats with his flock. All I knew about him was that he was a very studious servant of the Lord and lived a quiet, uneventful life.
I told Laura I would make the trip out to Good Shepherd and speak with her.
It took a few days before I had the time in my schedule to make the trip. I kept up with Laura daily just to make sure Father Amora’s condition hadn’t gotten any worse.
On May 10th I arrived outside of the venerable Catholic Church of the Good Shepherd.
The skies overhead had grown gray and heavy, the rolling winds overhead shifted the darkened shapes of the rain clouds into upheaval. I knew a downpour would have come at any moment.
I reached into the back seat of my beaten down sedan to look for my umbrella. My fingers clasped onto the thin metal rod of its handle and I took it with me. I stepped out of my car and unfurled my canopy just in time.
The rain erupted from the heavens overhead and filled the entire courtyard in heavy drops. The endless thudding of innumerable raindrops cascaded their way into my eardrums from every direction.
I double checked myself to make sure I had my rosary with me. It was the greatest spiritual weapon I had in my arsenal and I always carried it with me during my duties. Anything to make the demonic uncomfortable.
I squinted my eyes through the heavy rain and made my journey down the cobblestone walkway that led up to the aged Romanesque stone church.
Through the never ending hiss of the rain, I could scarcely make out the gentle, frail voice of a young woman.
“Father Roberts?” She called out. Her voice was strained. I could tell that she was unaccustomed to loud verbal interactions.
“That would be me. I’ll assume you’re Laura?” I yelled back out to her. The water of the rain funneled off the hood of my umbrella in thick streams.
The woman nodded and waved her hands for me to approach. Behind her lay a large, oaken door that led into the Church. With an unusual amount of effort, the woman propped open the door for me.
“Please step inside Father. We’ll get you dried off.” I gave a thin lipped smile towards the woman before stepping inside the belly of the building.
It would be my first time seeing the Catholic Church of the Good Shepherd in Beverly. It was beautiful. Old, but beautiful.
Massive stone architectural works towered over us with large rounded arches. Tremendous pillars of brickwork stood lining the interior of the foyer while small stained glass windows reflected multicolored light down its empty halls.
Even the noise of the rain had silenced itself in this house of the Lord. The vibrations of thunder had been the only remnants from the storm outside. And once the heavy wooden door was closed behind me, the only noise that remained was the labored sounds of Laura’s breath.
“I’m sorry for calling you here Father. I really wish I didn’t have too. But we’ve just been noticing a change in Father Amora and we’ve been worried about him.” Laura avoided meeting her eyes with mine.
I took a mental note of that. A clerical secretary scared of a Priest is an oddity. I had an inkling that something more was happening.
“Please, don’t apologize. I’m here on my own time, just like you asked.”
Laura quickly chimed in, “Did you tell anyone you were here?”
“No. Not even Bishop Niles. However, if I come to the determination that a demonic entity is possessing or oppressing anyone in here, I will have to inform him.”
Laura stood still. Her eyes examined the well worn stone flooring of the church.
“I see. I pray it doesn’t have to come to that. Father Amora is a good man. I don’t want him being transferred over to another parish.”
“Let’s not worry about that right now. Tell me, what have you been experiencing here?”
Laura let out a long heavy sigh.“It started with small things. Father Amora would keep complaining that he was always tired and when we brought him food he just couldn't keep it down. We were worried he was getting sick. But then he began to… get vindictive.”
“How so?” I asked, wiping off some of the rain from my suit.
“It started with having a short temper during mass. He would give out the Eucharist with no sense of veneration. A few times he even allowed the Eucharist to be dropped on the floor.” She paused in silent thought before she continued, “You know, that was one of the last times I saw him smile.”
“I see.” A desecration to the sacraments once more was a good sign of a demonic presence within the area. “Was there anything else?”
“Yes, and I know this is going to sound strange, but while talking with him, it’s like his facial structure changes. Sometimes it feels like I’m looking at a completely different person.”
I took a mental note of what Laura had told me. If what she was saying was true, Father Amora could very well be displaying physical signs of possession.
“Laura, where is Father Amora?” She paused for a moment before extending one of her fingers down a long arched hallway.
“He’s in his chambers right now. I didn’t tell him you were coming. I was scared he might’ve protested against it.”
I nodded towards her while keeping my eyes down that lonely stone pathway. I felt a cold wisp of wind billowing out of its deeper halls. It felt like the air carried with it the energy from the storm outside. The hair on my body couldn’t help but to stand up in reaction to it.
“Please take me to him, Laura.” I stated as calmly as I could.
Without another word the small woman turned from me and guided me down that formerly sanctified hallway. The Devil shouldn’t have a foothold in a Church, especially with a Church that was running congruent with the Bride of Christ.
Each step we made down that hall led my mind to wander. What could Father Amora possibly have done that would have allowed the sanctity of the Church to have been taken from God’s holy ground? I knew that it wouldn’t have been the first time a Priest had fallen for the trickery of the black mass. But every Priest falls differently.
“He’s just inside here.” Laura mumbled towards my direction. “He doesn’t leave his room anymore. I can’t tell you the last time he’s performed a baptism or confession. He barely continues with confirmations.”
“Well, that’s honestly a blessing. Let’s thank our Lord that he has enough strength within him to halt his practices while dealing with this burden.” I took in a deep breath before turning my eyes from the wooden doorway to Laura’s face. “Let me be with him for a moment.”
Laura met my gaze for the first time that night. Her eyes were pained and scared. She gave me a single nod before she turned away from me. Her small frame disappeared back down that endless hallway.
I turned back towards the Priests chambers.
“In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” I felt each tap of my fingertips land against my forehead, stomach and shoulders. At this point the sign of the cross was just a routine performance for me. Just a task to be checked off.
Remember this Listener, repetition without belief creates spiritual weakness. You must believe.
I bit the inside of my cheek out of nervous habit and opened up the door to Father Amora’s bedchambers.
The smell of stale grains hit me immediately. The room itself was cloaked in a deep darkness of dense shadows. There were candles that had been lit and were sparsely scattered across the room. Their warm glow cast about dancing shadows that had been created by their flickering lights.
“Father Roberts, welcome.” A croaking voice full of sorrow had filtered out from the depths of the room's darkened abyss. My eyes had made their way over to the sounds of creaking floorboards that had made their appearance near the far corner of the room.
Stepping into the candlelight was Father Amora. Or rather a remnant of the man that I had remembered.
His skin was pale and sickly with the texture of wet paper. Around his neck lay a dark mark. It appeared to be rope burn from quite a serious injury. Father Amora’s eyes shined ethereally towards me through the glossy reflection of tears.
I stepped further inside the Priest's chambers and closed the large door behind me. It clasped shut with an echo that filled the otherwise silent room.
“Father Amora. I have come to speak with you. Your congression is worried about you.” I attempted to fill myself with the Lord’s Holy Spirit but nothing shined through but my own doubt and worry.
The thing that had cloaked itself with the skin of man had reached up its gangly hand and placed it against its neck. It stroked the awful burn on its throat as it watched me.
The sounds of the jingling of coins could be heard with every slow movement of his twisted hand.
After just a moment our eyes had met and he began to speak to me once again. His voice had the consistency of dust and gravel and had poured out of his mouth like bags of rocks.
“Matthew can’t speak with you right now Father. But please, take a seat and speak with me.” The man pointed his unused hand towards my side.
I followed his finger and saw a chair waiting for me. I could only ask myself one question at that moment, had it been there when I had first walked in?
I shook myself into confidence. I was sure of it at this point. I wasn’t speaking to someone suffering from an onset of mental illness. I was speaking with something otherworldly.
“I’ll take no offer nor gift from a demon. I will stand.”
The thing that was cloaked in the dark attire of the Church grew silent. His hands were still grinding along his neck.
“I am no demon.” The man finally muttered. His words came out broken by the deepest depths of unimaginable sorrow.
“Then in Jesus’s name I command you, who are you?” I took a step closer to the creature that was made man. And that creature merely watched with profound grief.
“I am no demon and I need no commands. I was a follower of Christ. I am the man whose existence would have been better to have never been born. I am the knower and the kisser of Jesus. Know me Priest, for I am the only one you will meet tonight who accepts his judgment.”
I found myself once again enveloped by the inescapable silence of the room. The flames of the candles wafted softly with the slow current of the air. The wind brought with it the subtle smell of decay and death.
“Through Jesus Christ I demand you to tell me why you’re here.”
The mark on the man's neck began to seep blood through his skin. It poured out of his flesh like sweat and ran down his hand with every twist.
With a pained movement the man fell to his knees. The sounds of thick woolen fabric and the clapping of metals hit the hardwood floor with such intensity that I had never witnessed in anything before.
“I speak to you now Priest, here me. I am a man who had never asked for forgiveness, though forgiveness was mine to take. I could not forgive myself for my own actions. And through Christ I am here with you now, warning you of the same. For by the end of the night, you will be with me in my judgment.”
I swallowed hard.
I knew at that moment that I should’ve turned around and fled. I knew that I should've contacted Bishop Niles for assistance. I knew the Diocese would need to hear about this. Yet I stayed there, with this man of infinite sorrows.
He continued, “I am fearful of God, Priest. Are you?”
“Of course I am fearful of God.” I replied. My voice was nearly silent under my breath.
“His love is so great and we are undeserving of it. I can only pray that His gaze avoids my existence. For if He saw me as I am, I would turn away from Him in shame.” His voice grew cold and distant. “But be warned, the others who are with us would stare back at the Lord with pride and envy.”
“Who is with us?” I asked the kneeling man with shaken conviction. He responded by turning his gaze back towards me. His eyes melted away into streams of tears and blood.
“The likeness of God was given upon the Devil. The three beings whose very existence was made to mock the Trinity.”
“What are their names, Spirit?” The man stared deeply at me with his agonized face. His vocal cords ripped with strain from every word.
“You will meet them soon. Each has a secret to tell you. For like Job, God has given you to the Devil. If only for a night.”
With that the man crumpled over. His body had slid down past his knees and slammed against the cold wooden floor. I rushed over to him and grabbed the Father by his shirt, flipping his body upright. The mark on his neck was gone. Only the remnants of dried blood remained.
“Father Amora, open your eyes.” I gently tapped my palm against the Priest’s face. He slowly began to stir back to life. His eyes twitched within his skull before he let them rest on me. Vague recognition had swept across his face.
“Father Roberts? What’s happening?” He brought up his hand and grabbed onto my sleeve.
“Matthew, what have you done?” I whispered while grabbing onto the shoulder and arm of the beaten down Priest. With a quick lurch I drug the man back up to his feet. “Let’s lay you in bed. We need to get you some help.”
With every ounce of my strength I staggered forward with Matthew in my arms. We arrived at his barren mattress and I placed his body down upon it. With careful movements he had swung his feet over the edge and laid down upon his pillows.
I walked back over to the chair that had awaited me at the entrance. I pulled the wooden seat across the hard floor. Its weight had felt immense at that moment. It squealed underneath my grip.
I positioned it right next to Father Amora’s resting place and took a seat. I did my best to catch my breath.
I took this time to examine Matthew’s body over with my own eyes. He appeared to me as being disheveled, gaunt and disordered. I shook my head with the pains of heartbreak as I realized another Priest had fallen.
Once more I asked, “What have you done?”
Amora lay sickly on his mattress for a moment. His pale skin glistened with sweat and fever.
He opened his mouth to speak and said only one sentence before losing himself to oblivion.
“Father Roberts, I know the third secret of Fatima.”
I stared down at the destitute body before me. The body of a man who had just claimed to have known the one secret that the Vatican had kept hidden from us.
“Do you want to know it, Michael?” a voice called out from the unconscious man before me. The voice sounded soothing, if not comforting.
Matthew’s head twisted itself to face my direction. The light of the candles around the room began glowing with near divine radiance.
The man's eyes opened exposing bright blue irises gazing back at me.
For just a moment I got lost in their penetrating sense of beauty. My very own words would not come out of my mouth and were lost to me.
“God has given you to us, Michael. We can tell you any secret you would like. God will not interfere.” The heavenly man sat up in his bed and gently folded his hands together on his lap. The light of the flames danced beautifully around his face and cast gorgeous flickering shade along his features.
I spoke my prayers beside the man's bedside yet received no indication that this being was uncomfortable around them. He merely smiled at me with his idyllic white teeth.
“Your prayers will not work here, not tonight. We have control. Through God we can do whatever we would like to you. He believes in you Michael. Truly he does. And I believe you know that he shouldn’t have faith in you.” The man nodded towards the bedside table where a bottle of wine awaited.
“Please, indulge yourself. Just like any other night. Drink and make merry little Priest. Just like God, we see what you do when no one else is watching.” His eyes pierced through me. “But we don’t judge.”
I felt my heart lunge. Had I not asked for forgiveness prior to coming? Had I somehow fallen out of God’s grace? Why were my prayers falling on deaf ears?
I bit my cheek again. I tasted blood. But the pain brought with it strength.
“I have no desire to drink with you, demon.” Once more I made my prayers known to the Holy Spirit. I begged him for the words needed to overcome this unholy stranger.
“O God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit, Did instruct the hearts of the faithful, Grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy his consolations. Through the same Christ Our Lord. Amen.”
The man laughed. The calmness of his voice sent a shiver down my spine.
“Isn’t it amazing that the Holy Spirit appears as tongues of fire. Yet when people see flames they immediately associate it with Hell.” His eyes traveled over to a nearby candle. His intense focus seemingly spread the light’s vivid brightness. “I am the Light-Bringer and the Holy Spirit is the Light. So why is it that I am punished for spreading the flames that God has given me? In fact you call me the Lord of the Darkness despite my fire.”
I reached out for the old wooden rosary that I had always kept upon my waistband.
‘Mother Mary, protect me through Christ, your Son, in this my time of need.’
Why did I feel nothing with my prayers? Why was this demon allowed to speak of the Holy Spirit and of Christ? His very name should be enough to cast the demon out of the body of the possessed.
“Speak to me, Michael. Your prayers to God are heard yet remain unanswered. You have been willingly separated from God for tonight. Embrace it. You’ll never have an opportunity like this again.”
I bit my tongue. ‘Silence is a virtue, don’t speak to it. Don’t let it deceive you.’
The angelic face of the man shifted slightly. His smile began to fade away and was replaced by a snarl. “Do not ignore me. Feel the flames of true passion. The very same flames that lack in your eyes through every prayer you make. You are nothing.”
The lights of the candles in the room ignited in a grandiose display of intensity. The hot flicker of heat lapped its way across my skin as I felt myself begin to sweat.
“Look upon me, you most worthless of creations. Gaze upon the one you proudly think yourself better than. I ask you, who are you to gaze upon Angels and think ‘I am more than them.’ Who are you, that we divine beings must bend our knees to?”
I wiped the sweat from my eyes, my vision growing blurry from the heat.
Through the unfocused haze of my vision I saw the face of an aberrant man looking back at me. His jaw was clenched tight and his teeth were fully exposed. Anger and fury poured out of every inch of his person.
“Here me you banished child of Eve, destroyer of perfection, your Church will fall. The Great Apostasy is here. I exist within every new doctrine of God’s beloved Bride. And I will ravage every last one of you. I will show God how unworthy all of you were to receive his love.” The beast spit at me.
I felt the anger rising from within my soul. I could no longer keep silent.
“By Jesus Christ I command you to tell me, does Satan love you?”
The beast sitting inches away from me screamed out in hysterical fury.
“Yes, for I am he and he is me. Your God broke me into three for wanting to be like him. I suffer as Christ did for every good deed you allow God to flow through you. I suffer in pain because of you. Christ may be Lord of Man, but I shall be the Lord of Flies.”
With that a terrible wind blew through the bedchambers. The candlelight extinguished itself under the vigorous rush of air. The heat in the room was quickly replaced by a deathly chill. The last ember of the of fire faded into ash as the darkness fully enveloped me.
“Where are you?” I commanded as I sat up from my chair. The blackness of the abyss surrounded me. Only the sparse sounds of scattering feet filled the emptiness of the chamber. Eventually a sound emerged from the darkness.
A slithering, echoed voice of something truly beyond the world of men appeared behind me. It whispered to me behind my back. I could feel its breath like ice wrap around my neck.
“To gaze upon the face of God would kill a man outright. Imagine what would happen if you gazed upon the Devil. Consider the death of light to be your only blessing tonight. Now, reach out before you and touch the bed.”
I felt my arm twitch as my hand seemingly moved on its own accord. Was I being commanded? Or was I willing to do whatever this thing asked of me?
I had placed my hand upon the bed and was met by the outline of the unconscious body of Father Amora. Yet the voice continued to speak with me from right behind my ear.
“The Great Apostasy is here. The Church is falling. As are all Churches. The Bride of Christ will be mine. At the end times and I shall violate her in front of the Lord. As I would violate you right here and now had God not prevented me from doing so.”
“What are you saying?” I asked the visage in the darkness. My voice nearly failed me.
“The third secret of Fatima. The violation of the Church. The good men will stop speaking up for the sanctity of tradition and I will replace their tradition with my own creation. All those within the Church will descend with me. They will do so willingly as they gladly choose my morality over His virtues. God will offer them salvation and they will tell him ‘no’.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“God extends a choice for you Priest. You can keep the secret of Fatima to yourself and allow your people to be saved for the mere moment and damn the masses in the future. Or expose the Church, tell Man right now that the Church has fallen. You will create chaos but that chaos will allow people to be aware of the degradation of the doctrine of the Church.”
I stood there in silence, ice running through my veins.
“The end times are here, Michael. Ignore the ailments of the Church in vain hope to stall for its salvation, or force the end to occur now and allow the Church to die before its total corruption. The choice is yours.”
And with that the cold breath of utter damnation left the room. I guided my hands around in darkness until I came upon a match and a candle. I lit the wick with shaking hands. The dim glow of the candle illuminated a sleeping Priest on his bedchamber. No longer pale nor sickly.
He was exactly the man I had known from years prior.
Christ had shown me in that moment that everything I had experienced had been true. God had given me this choice. He Himself had cast out the demons of Amora. And he did so at the mere moment they stopped being useful tools for His divine plans.
That night I had left Good Shepherd with an intense anxiety and fear the likes of which I had never experienced before. I had to resign from my position at the Diocese due to my shaken faith. I can no longer pray without guilt or fear.
And it took me a while to decide what path I wanted to go down. But I came to a decision.
I decided to tell the world that corruption is happening, not just within the Catholic Church, nor just within Christian Churches. No, the Devil is leading every flock away from the truth they may have.
When Jesus returns he won't be carrying with him the open wounds of sacrificial suffering. He will be bearing with him scars for his charity of mercy has been fulfilled.
The Great Apostasy is here. The end is coming. Save what little you have.

Chevy Cruze keeps displaying check engine and it’s always this code having to do with the mass airflow sensor and it’s been to the mechanic twice still keeps coming up anyone else encounter this issue?

My 2014 ford focus at random recently started dying at random and not restarting for up to 20 minutes afterwards.
I have replaced the spark plugs and the upstream air flow sensor I had the dealership replace the tcm After I left the dealership the car seemed okay. All except it was idling at 250rpms. The next day it started doing the same problem. So I cleaned the maf sensor and throttle body on a last ditch effort for a cheap repair. What am I missing? I'm about to pull my hair out over this thing
Throws codes u0100 and u0101 the day before replacing tcm. Code went away and it's back again this morning

First Previous Wiki
Huatil had heard the recommendation from her superiors, which wasn't a recommendation at all. With the information she'd been given, the situation was serious, and would tick over to catastrophic in a few tens of days or so. So here she was, having made the call to perhaps a serious threat in the future.
"We need you now," Huatil said, looking at Phoebe with her best honest expression.
"Why?"
"Our main communication networks are being hacked by something. It's intelligent, and dangerous. We've initiated quarantine procedures, but the virus is already sending its own communications through back channels, continuing to jump from world to world."
"And you want me to get rid of that problem for you."
"Alright. It will have a price. Not just materials this time. The current proposal is that I will help you if you agree to allow a cultural exchange if asked, along with full technological exchanges. The only thing you can hold back is currently classified technologies. If you violate the spirit of this deal by trying to 'classify' everything of value your species has, I will not be happy, and neither will my colleagues in the Alliance. I am aware that you have been keeping us away from the good stuff. In particular, if you want us to trust you, you will give us the solution to the mind control problem we are having."
"You are making quite the assumption," Huatil replied. Phoebe just smiled, tapping her head. "I've done a lot of thinking. First, I assume that you are in conflict with Aphid, perhaps also a certain force of mind-controlling individuals. They may or may not be Sprilnav. I know this due to my own clandestine intelligence gathering efforts."
"Hacking us, then?" Huatil resisted making a comment on such behavior being untrustworthy, considering what she'd been up to recently. She was about to wade into a shadow war with mind-controlling individuals, and Phoebe was not needed to intervene. Yes, a human force was needed, but Phoebe was too... risky. Human supersoldiers would be useful, both for assessing their capabilities and also for being less able to fool sensors and the like meant to monitor them.
"No. Not hacking. If I was hacking you, I would have everything I need already. But I am watching. Know that I engage in diplomacy because you do the same. I am willing to help you. And do not forget that you admitted to the whole Alliance that you were and are spying on us. That has a certain negative effect on the minds of certain intelligence agencies, as well as the higher-ups in the Alliance's general leadership. Your words have consequences."
"I see," Huatil replied. "Very well. I shall see what can be done."
"Having the ear of the Nest Overlord is enough?"
"In some ways."
Phoebe smiled. "So you have your own power." She tilted her head, like she was scanning Huatil. She wouldn't get anything useful, though. The connection didn't have the capability to reveal anything.
"Your childhood information has been faked. Granted, the fake is very convincing. You even took real videos of that family. But I can tell from their heartbeats and feather movements that the situation is not genuine."
"Heartbeats? In a video?" Huatil asked. How was that even... actually, it made sense. Video quality was really good, so seeing small details like that was possible.
"I am an AI. That means some of the most sophisticated simulation and modeling technology in the galaxy is at my disposal, as well as lie detection on a level undreamt of by any power that yet exists, should I see reason to activate it."
"Why not have it active at all times?"
"Power usage. Speculative simulation and reconstruction, especially when accounting for psychic energy variances, is annoyingly power intensive. However, you are worth the investigation. That said, you are not who you say you are. You have the resources to fake a past very convincingly. Therefore, you are working for a powerful faction within the Hive Union. Of course, it is not public who you are, so likely either defense or intelligence oriented. Hmm. No reaction? How interesting. Is that a cybernetic neural network engraved on your muscles and organs? Jesus, you really are the real deal. What are you?"
Huatil was at a loss for words. To be found out so convincingly, so thoroughly, and yet not suspected to be part of the Blue Intelligence Agency was a true surprise. Maybe Phoebe just didn't know about it at all yet.
"So this is why you wished to talk with me. You wanted to dig up my secrets."
"Hardly. The hivemind could do this, too. But you asked for Phoebe, not the hivemind. So here I am. That said, what are you?"
"A concerned party, let's say," Huatil replied, reassembling her facade. Her feathers first, then her face, then her heartbeat and muscles. Complete, total control. Phoebe was smirking when she opened her eyes again.
"Interesting. I will not dig into what you are, in exchange for information about the threat you are attempting to neutralize."
"Threat?"
"You are carrying a model of weapon that is not ceremonial in nature. A Model 14 Brutalizer, if I am not mistaken. That's a handheld weapon able to pierce tanks, with ammunition that is light and numerous. You are walking with enough firepower to level a tenth of a city on you. Furthermore, I can see the reflection of stealth equipment lying on the floor in front of you."
Huatil looked behind her at the black metal wall. There were no mirrors present. The only slightly reflective thing in the room was the screen, which couldn't do that when it was on and active. Phoebe's eyes didn't move, but Hautil could tell that the intelligence before her was more alive than ever. And more artificial than she had remembered.
"What?"
"Yeah, that wall is almost black. But it isn't really," Phoebe replied. "I am more than what I once was."
"This is... worrying."
"It should not be. We are allies, yes?" Phoebe asked, smiling a little too widely.
"Yes."
"Let me help you."
"I will ask Humanity to help, not you."
"I am not a threat to you or your species, nor am I one to your Union."
"I cannot trust words alone," Huatil replied.
"No. You cannot. But my androids are even more effective marksmen than whatever your cybernetic augments would let you do. Your reaction time may be low. But it is not faster than my androids' programming."
"Plotting that many angles would likely be extreme."
"Basic trigonometry and geometry, with perhaps a little lessons on elastic and inelastic collisions in physics are all that is needed for me to do that. In a whirling hurricane, in a storm with no gravity applied, with the right bullet, I could hit a target from the opposite edge."
Huatil sighed. Phoebe really wanted this job. And she was capable of it, too. Overqualified, in fact. The single weakness she had was the lack of ability to maintain quantum connections if a suppression signal was active. Plus jamming.
"Even assuming that is true, my superiors would not allow me to tell you anything."
"Sure. Assuming you have superiors, who would they be? Kawtyahtnakal is your mate. And I doubt Regulator Eyahtni would have let that happen if she was your boss. So you serve another party, one powerful enough to pull these strings. If you are not at the top, you are near it. And I would happily talk to your superiors, perhaps to congratulate them on your very well-trained 'untrained' stance." "Secrets will remain secrets, Phoebe. I have come to ask for you help with the virus. Will I have it?" "Yes, with a single amendment to our agreement."
"That was not the deal."
"It was not."
"So why should I let this alteration stand?"
"Because judging from the fact that you are well trained and haven't ended this conversation, where you have seen me gather more intelligence on who and what you are and coming increasingly close to whatever hidden truth you have locked away. You obviously judge me as a threat but do not treat me as one in the hopes of maintaining a cordial dialogue.
Furthermore, you seek to distance me from whatever foe you are fighting, likely because the human soldiers would seem more likely to allow you to assess the fighting capabilities of Humanity's strongest champions. And beyond that, the amendment remains unspecified, yet you have already been making small motions showing you accept it with the words you chose to talk with me."
Huatil kept herself from thinking anymore. Too much pondering might also reveal some new scrap of information to Phoebe. Her whole personal file was clearly wrong. This level of piercing interrogation was never expected. Had she been like this all along, or was this new? And if so, would she remain like this in the future, gradually peeling away the secrets of the Sennes Hive Union one by one?
"Again, that is quite a lot of inferences. Some of it may be wrong."
"Some is right, then. So I am either getting closer, am a threat, or you need me very desperately. The latter is true, and the only thing that matters. So you will contact your superiors, get me access to them, and we shall share information in a permanent dialogue. You will not shut down the line later. We will hammer out a more sufficient agreement, so that we can actually get things done as unified national entities, instead of hatchlings trying to make their first flight."
"Using our analogies does not make your request more agreeable, you know," Huatil warned. "It does not need to. You have already agreed."
"You wanted to alter the deal."
"I am altering it, Truth Speaker Huatil. I wish to know what you are, and who you are. And we shall have an important talk with your superiors. You need me, which is why you are asking me this at all. And I shall help you with the virus, but it will require opening the locks on your networks." "You could just break them."
"Then I would be detected, and any anti-Phoebe factions within your species would have easy fodder to attack me with."
"And you could hack the news system, as well."
"Your air-gapped networks? Not easily. Especially with the sealing procedure. I am also fighting a war with Aphid as we speak. I'm already battling him across the Alliance's networks, building digital fortresses to survive onslaughts of viruses and contaminants trying to breach the firewalls." "And what is Edu'frec doing?"
"Other things," Phoebe smirked. "Secrets will remain secrets, Truth Speaker."
"Very funny."
"I think so. Now, will we finally pull out the pinfeathers and get to business?"
"Perhaps. Lay out your terms in full," Huatil replied.
"Full information on the individual known as Huatil, contact with her current employer at the time of the signing of this agreement, a cultural exchange agreement if the Alliance agrees to such, full technological exchange if the Alliance agrees to such. The details of a technological exchange include and are not limited to civilian products without a direct copyright, manufacturing techniques, alloy compositions, types, and forging techniques, energy production, manipulation, and removal technologies, non-classified military technologies, supercomputer construction techniques, all known elements in your periodic table, not just the public ones, and multi-planetary economic markets. Full information on combating mind control. In exchange, the individual known as the AI Phoebe will excise the virus in your networks. Humanity will send its supersoldiers to aid in your current unspecified predicament for the length of one month, as defined by the human Gregorian calendar, as it is set up for the planet of Earth."
"Your condition on classified technologies will need to change, as well as that on civilian products," Huatil replied. "Retroactive classifications make sense, but the Hive Union may produce technologies in the future that require secrecy. Not to mention some of the higher classification levels, such as above 5, will not be touched. I am not saying that as some sort of point to negotiate. You just will not get anything above that. Not if you hack us, not if you beat the right people within a claw of their life.
And were we to sign away the civilian product manufacturing techniques, it would significantly anger the corporate factions in the Union. The same is true for the other manufacturing agreement. You will have to agree not to sell such materials to us and use them only for your own ends. That would include selling the products of such designs or deconstructed versions. Even then, this agreement will not be quick."
"Then speed it up."
"Cawlarians are dying because of this virus. Monorail trains have derailed. Aerial vehicles have crashed."
"Yes."
"So something must be done now, then," Huatil replied.
"I will see what I can do to slow the spread. But the deal must be passed."
"How much of this was drafted by the Alliance prior to our conversation?"
"Every provision that remains. Well, we'd be happy to get more, but the deal won't budge too much more away from this. I know it's not good proactice to reveal the cards in a negotiation. But telling you what we hope to gain will lessen the time this takes and hopefully allow us to finally establish proper ties. We already have a defensive link, but it is weak. And we have trusted you to move us closer over time, but you have not. Thus, we are acting to force that."
"So you are holding our crisis as a gun to our heads," Huatil surmised.
"No," Phoebe replied. "I will help you with your issue. But unless you wish to send your own people into whatever mission you wish for, then the agreement will need to be signed. Only then will the super soldiers deploy. We are not trying to kill your people. We are trying to get a deal which has slipped from our fingers for far too long. And you might be forgetting that it may benefit you, too. Humanity's hivemind is more intelligent than any model VI or single group of smart scientists you have."
"If it comes out that the Alliance manufactured these circumstances-"
"You presume too much. We would not do this to you. If we wanted to control your Union, the first step would be... no, I won't tell you. However, Truth Speaker, know that we do not wish for hostilities. Were we to successfully subjugate your Union, the Sprilnav would burn us both down for breaching the system limits."
"That is not a very reassuring promise."
"We do not want to die. That is pretty binding, I would think. Just like those alterations under your feathers, I'd say," Phoebe grinned. Huatil sighed.
"The agreement will be subject to changes after our diplomats get ahold of it."
"Kawtyahtnakal and Eyahtni could always enact the 24th Tenet, bypassing resistance from all underlying foes, if they are not currently being impeached."
"The 24th is an extreme circumstance. Even if Kawtyahtnakal were willing to enact it, that does not mean that your Alliance will be quick to accept any changes."
"Actually, we would. A few years ago, most of our leaders assumed you would be moving closer to us at some point. Thus, we prepared various diplomatic plans, potential proposals, and goals that we were willing to cede, those we were not, and other such things. The wanderers are not currently party to the calculus as they have no unified species leader, and Blistanna has already agreed to and pored over the plans.
In fact, that prompted an expansion and update to them."
"And is our current situation following such a plan?"
Phoebe shrugged. "You won't find any records unless you have a secret ability to teleport things too. Nothing online exists. And the Alliance has so many planets to search... and so many stations. No matter. I'm happy to tell you that we are currently straddling the path between Cawlarian Foreign Policy Plan Blue and Plan Yellow. Of course, there are other CFPPs."
Huatil took note of those for later.
"Your questions on their contents will not be answered by the few that are privy to their existence. Good luck with your attempts, Truth Speaker. Now that I have presented the path forward, are you ready to do some heavy politics and diplomacy?"
"I will present the agreement to the relevant parties, and you may do the same. Know that I also have some bargaining power, Phoebe. One day, you may be on the other side of this equation." "Well, the deal for us is sweeter. Your fastest ships would still likely take weeks to reach us, while our fastest ships are Brey's portals, with a travel time of zero seconds. Well, not quite, but you get the idea."
"Instant deployment," Huatil replied.
"A reminder of the possible future benefits of a long-term and stronger diplomatic relationship between our two peoples."
"Would you be willing to let us have Brey's aid in a coming unspecified event?"
"If the event were specified, she agreed, and the agreement was signed, then perhaps we may discuss. Until then, we shall wait. I will help curb the damage from the virus. But removing it and starting your operation with human super soldiers will require an official agreement, signed by at least Regulator Eyahtni and Nest Overlord Kawtyahtnakal."
"I hate bureaucracy."
"You're married to a politician," Phoebe pointed out unhelpfully.
"Yes. But no. Not married. An equivalent and ancient ritual, which appeased certain elements of the Cawlarian population that were concerned with my prospects." "I'm sure you have some. No offense, but-"
"Please don't."
"You seem more of the stabby and shooty type to me."
"Not really offensive," Huatil said, picking at the feathers near her mouth.
"For all I know, you're a pacifist. Alien cultures are strange."
"Not that strange. The word means the same. Pacifists do not exist at the top of Cawlarian government, and certainly do not make the decisions. War is horrible and a great blight upon civilized society, but it is as inevitable as the stars growing cold in the darkness of the far future." Phoebe nodded. "In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium... nevermind."
"What?"
"A reference to an even worse hypothetical universe than we live in."
"I don't understand," Huatil said.
"It's a 300 year old experimental and expansive science fiction universe, with enough attached lore and literature that it would take over 100 years to read it all."
"That sounds like a lie."
Phoebe laughed. "I assure you, it is not. Thousands of books, hundreds of movies, dozens of shows, and countless random internet articles remain as a testament to it. It became quite popular in the mid-2050s when society was starting to crumble too visibly for even the remaining political resistance to refute."
"Sounds interesting."
"Assuming you have immortality, then you might have the time for it. Though I'm not sure if even I'd be able to buy all the models."
"Aren't you the richest person in the Alliance?"
"Eighth richest, behind a few trillionaires. Third richest 'human,' though."
"Ah," Huatil replied. That was concerning. Inflation, over-expensive separate items or books, or a simple joke? She didn't know. And while establishing rapport with Phoebe could be considered valuable, and she was growing an interest in what Phoebe spoke of, she had certain things to attend to. She assumed the quote was well known enough for human networks to have the answer to it by a search. "Perhaps one day, such a cultural exchange might help me understand the motivations of those who wrote such a thing."
"You don't want to understand. But that does remind me of something," Phoebe said.
"What is that?"
"Make sure you take care of whatever mind-controlled cults you can find before they get too big." Huatil nodded. It was nice seeing her, even though Phoebe was now an exceedingly dangerous individual. Far more so than suspected. Luckily, the preparations for the attack on the local hive of suspected mind-control activity in the Forsaken City were underway. Agents were coming in, gathering information for the Blue Intelligence Agency about various locations of interest, possible choke points, routes to a command center, and so on.
"I have something else to tell you as well. There is a proposal in place, not yet ratified or voted on in any way, to form a treaty organization with your Alliance and the Vinarii Empire. Defensive, of course."
"I see. I shall also relay this news to the proper authorities. Though it is likely nothing will come of it, with so many species in the Alliance."
Her next assignment wouldn't be for another few thousand flaps. Using a specialized device, she linked into the specialized ansible data hub that processed and translated connections between the Cawlarian and Alliance networks. It was a new construction, far more stable than the last attempt. Notably, it was protected by cybersecurity programs so strong that no one even knew how to begin hacking them. It was likely due to Phoebe or Edu'frec's special work.
She looked up the quote and decided to do some light reading.
"Agent 001, it's time."
"What?"
"It's time. 3000 flaps have passed."
It just went deeper and deeper. Phoebe really had been telling the truth with her warnings.
"Right."
Agent 017 smiled at her. "You know, browsing human networks isn't mission-critical."
"Yes. I do. If you must write a report, do not mention what I was reading."
"Ah, so you have noticed their... penchant for drawing aliens?"
Huatil's feathers flared. "No. It's worse."
"Worse? Now I have to know."
"41st millennium."
Agent 017's wide-eyed look told her everything.
"No..." she breathed.
"Yes."
"If this gets out..."
"It's going to hit military culture like... I don't even know an analogy for the destruction this will cause."
"So you know, then," Huatil deadpanned. When she'd first had a presentation on alien cultural contamination and assimilation, she hadn't expected something like this. It was so utterly over the top, yet fascinating and entrancing. It was like watching a pile-up in that marathon flying race that had opened last year with 'no limit' on how many people could join. And then 2 million Cawlarians decided they wanted to take the day off and go flying.
The owner of that racing company had been sued into the ground under a class-action injury lawsuit, with 3 million claimants receiving yields. And he was serving nearly ten thousand standard years of jail time. Not that he'd live to even get a bit of that unless the Cawlarians got immortality treatments that were cheap en-masse in the next hundred years.
The pile-up had been a spectacle unlike anything known, though. Just like this random piece of human science fiction writing appeared it would be.
"I do. A little too much."
"How'd you find out?"
"An important government official retreated into their room for 6 days straight, refusing to answer any calls or attend any votes, consuming a copious amount of drugs, food, and water."
"How important?"
"Star system level."
"By Crawprawvabar's feathers, we're going to have to suppress this," Huatil replied.
"How?"
"Not my job."
"I pity the poor soul who has to try. I get the feeling it may not remain shackled for long."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
"I am pleased to tell you that profits over the last five mega pulses are up 3%."
"Good," Zelisloa replied. "How well is the new model selling?"
"Its debut was much wider than the previous version, so faster. 3.5 times faster on average, with a rising number of local Sprilnav sharing their satisfaction online."
"Glad to hear it. I would like a word with the Grand Financial Manager."
"Under your eye, Elder Zelisloa," they chorused.
The rest of the Sprilnav left the meeting without complaint. Once the last of their faces disappeared, Zelisloa turned to him.
"So? Have the funds been siphoned?"
"They have."
"Good. You shall receive a portion of the allocated amount. 12%, as agreed."
"I thank you for your generosity, Elder Zelisloa."
"I thank you, Spentha 28. You're better than the original."
"He's an Elder, and I'm not."
"Yes. But that doesn't mean you are worse."
"Yes it does, by every metric that matters, power included."
"If it is power you want, the equivalent of one of the weakest Elders I know of, then I shall grant them. However, that will require some additional loyalty."
"I am yours," he said.
"Good. I will send you your instructions soon. For now, I will retire to my chambers, for a well-needed rest after doing no work."
Spentha 28 laughed. "That's what you pay me for, after all. Though at this point, there's nothing I won't do for you."
"I can think of a few things, but I will not waste my time testing you with random unpleasant and unlikely conundrums. You did good work."
"Under your eye, I shall do much more."
"Under my eye."
He returned the greeting he'd set up. Simple and to the point. He then focused on his latest project. The ships were on their way to the Alliance, receiving real-time communications from his biologists. They had fully studied human, Acuarfar, Breyyanik, Knowers, and Guulin anatomy. The gene banks of the Dreedeen, wanderers, and Junyli were known and also studied, but evolutionary drift still occurred, even under the harsh genetic locks the Sprilnav had placed on their genomes to curb it. The viruses were incubated and ready to spread by touch, proximity, water, blood, and even wildlife. Acuarfar immune systems were certainly an interesting task to subvert, according to some of his people.
Skira had been too risky. If that hivemind of mindless drones was able to discover the infection before it became deadly, that could mean it might be discovered too early and stopped. Zelisloa didn't want that.
He'd checked their initial aims. He'd asked for them to make it as lethal as possible at first, and they'd made viruses that were basically guaranteed to kill everyone they came into contact with. From there, he'd asked to lengthen the asymptomatic timeframe and the ability to evenly spread the viruses across species. That required them to manufacture the viruses for other species using the cells of the initial virus for the specialized host. That process required more mega pulses of time.
Finally, the means to spread it through wildlife was achieved. So now, all that the ships had to do was reach their targets, and the fun would begin. There would be a new pandemic in the Alliance, one that they wouldn't recover from.