Whilst I'm healthy I'm not 'fit'. This ends now. 4 years ago I was a PhD student riding things that a local enthusiast used to put together (from old parts and sell for £50-150 on gumtree. They did the job but my latest one is well past it's use by date and I really want to get back on the saddle. The problem is that every list of 'best bike under X' gives different answers!
SO...I've wittled down my options to getting a hybrid for £650-750 (I'm UK based). Not sure I'm ready/confident enough for drop down bars, and from all the GCN videos I've watched I think I'd the comfort and control of a hybrid is more suited to me atm.
The main reason I'm asking here is because when I do the comparisons I don't know much about parts so I can't tell if components x is better

• I've sort of narrowed it down to the cannondale quick disc 2 and the Orbea Vector 20
  
  • Cannondale has former has a carbon fork so I assume would be lighter, and I love the blue colour
  • I hear Orbea is a worker owned co-op and that every bike is assembled in Spain. Seems like a nice company to support.
• Happy to hear other suggestions at this price point (could stretch up if required)
  

517 BCY
[Trigger warning: suicide]
The following is a transcript of the final log recorded by commander Durlan Tralynn aboard the Orbital Research Station in the days during and immediately following the Last War. Commander Durlan was the astronaut in charge of the ORS when hostilities erupted. These logs have been preserved by the Museum of Pre-Federation History for their unique perspective on that devastating conflict.
[Recording Begins]
Taegen and Elwin took the capsule down today. I refused to go with them. They begged and pleaded with me, but my mind is set. I refused the supplies they offered to leave. We all know staying behind is a death sentence. The capsule is the only way down to the surface, and nobody is coming back up for me. The world ended two months ago.
They think they saw signs of life in the xenith tree forests on the western continent. A fool’s hope. Even if someone is still moving around down there, they won’t last long. The air has gone toxic. But I didn’t try to disabuse them of the notion. Any hope, even a fool’s hope, must be better than this despair. I wished them luck and watched the capsule separate from the station. I could see Elwin looking back at me until the capsule drifted too far to make out any details.
As for me, I’m setting in the observation bay, looking down at what’s left of Arcadia. I’ve already adjusted the atmosphere scrubbers. It’s shocking how easy it was. Just a little tweak, barely noticeable unless you’re looking for it, and in a little while I’ll drift off to sleep. No pain, no fuss. Just an end. I wonder if I’ll dream. That would be nice. To sit here looking down, and dream of a world full of life that I’ll never see again.
The recording is quiet for a long while, except for the ever present whir of the station’s machinery. After some time commander Durlan speaks again.
I suppose I should say something of substance. For the historical record, if nothing else. Not that there’s anyone left to record it. But still, it feels like the right thing to do.
Like I said, the world ended two months ago. The bastards finally did it. I don’t know who fired the first megaspell, or what kind of incident escalated into war, I just know we were over the southern continent when it happened. It was night and the planet lit up with flashes.
The defenses on the continent worked. It was a brilliant strategy, I’ll say that for them. They knew they couldn’t compete with the larger powers, so instead of trying to stop everything cold with shields and anti-missile defenses, they played a subtler game. Misdirection and deflection. They sent the incoming megaspells sliding away into the sea, far from their major cities and industrial centers.
Taegen read the scans. Those defenses turned aside a full ninety percent of the incoming megaspells. But thousands got through. It must have been a devastating blow, but we didn’t really see the aftermath. Their military planners never considered the consequences of dumping tens of thousands of megaspells into the sea. The ocean boiled. Not much of it, but all around the coast of the southern continent. By the time we swung over it during the daytime, the entire continent was covered in steam. Their own defenses fried them. It took three days for the ocean to cool, and another four weeks for the clouds of steam to clear away.
I haven’t brought myself to look at the continent. Not through the optics anyway. My eyes can’t see any details from way out here, and I’m happy to keep it that way.
There follows a long pause, during which commander Durlan makes several attempts to start expressing his next thought, before he finally settles on his words.
We thought it would end there. Flash. Bang. World over. But it didn’t. The fighting went on for days. Taegen spotted a massive fleet battle in the Central Sea which only ended when a wave of megaspells vaporized both sides. He detected weapons fire around many of the major cities, too. Poor bastards fighting over ruins. There was still fighting around Essa Ennore. The city endured several megaspell hits, followed by two days of heavy fighting, before a dozen more megaspells wiped it off the map.
Taegen told me Soliana and Meira might have gotten out during the fighting. He was trying to comfort me, but I hope they didn’t. I hope they died in that first wave of megaspells, before they even knew what was happening. I hope they didn’t have to suffer through the hell we created.
Commander Durlan stops talking for a long while, but his heavy sobs are a constant reminder of his presence on the recording. Finally he speaks up again.
I can feel it now. Getting drowsy. Not much time left. It’s better this way, there’s no life left to live. No survival down there. I’ve seen the scans, the horrors of those megaspells. They weren’t all just explosions. The air has turned toxic, and some of those poisonous clouds have minds. They can think. They can chase down their prey, seep through sealed bunkers, scouring away survivors in choking agony. Half the eastern continent is covered in frost, the remnants of roving ice storm megaspells that sought out any source of heat and froze it solid. Even the dead had no peace, reanimated into mindless magical automatons to overwhelm any scattered survivors.
I’ll give us this, we were thorough. We left no stone unturned in our quest to wipe our entire world clean of life.
I don’t know if anyone will ever hear this recording. I don’t believe there’s anyone left on the planet below. At least, nobody who will survive beyond a few more terrified weeks. Arcadia is dead. But if there’s anyone else out there, some traveler from the stars that finds the ruins of our home, I want you to know something: we weren’t bad people.
We were greedy, and selfish, and shortsighted fools. But we weren’t monsters. We weren’t this senseless final act of destruction. There was joy and celebration and love here too. We’ve done a terrible thing, but it wasn’t because we were evil, spiteful creatures. Please, don’t judge us by our worst mistake. And please, I beg of you, don’t make the same mistakes we did.
I can barely keep my eyes open anymore. It’s not too late to grab one of the vacuum suits, fix the air scrubbers… no. It’s better this way. Better to die peacefully, than scrabble in futile defiance of the inevitable. Maybe I’ll see my Soliana again. And little Meira.
Commander Durlan is quiet for a moment before he starts softly singing a love song. The lyrics are about a young couple and the wonderful summer nights they spend together. He occasionally interrupts himself with wracking sobs, and his voice grows quieter and weaker until his words are little more than murmurs that eventually fade altogether. The recording continues for another five hours, silence broken only by the whir of the station’s machinery, until the tape runs out.
[Recording Ends]
These logs were recovered in 370 BCY, 147 years after the Last War, by the team of historian Tarathiel Tralynn, great grandson of Meira Tralynn. Tarathiel placed a plaque inside the Orbital Research Station bearing his great great grandfather’s name and the lyrics of that final song. The station was carefully moved into a more stable orbit and marked as a historical monument. Commander Durlan’s remains were left as they were found, sitting in the station’s observation bay. There he sits for the rest of eternity, staring down at a world full of life that he had only dreamed to see again.

I had a PC built for me over on buildmeapc, asked around and everyone said it was a good build for what I needed and as my knowledge of PC hardware is sparse to say the least I was happy that the hard part for me was done. The only thing I changed was the case as it was a micro case and apparently I could run into problems using it (KOLINK Citadel Mesh RGB MicroATX Mini Tower Case). I changed it to a Montech Sky Two Mid Tower ATX Case. Long story short that case comes with 3 fans pre built into it, I got a Sapphire PULSE Radeon RX 6800 XT 16 GB Video Card which has 3 fans, a Deepcool LT520 85.85 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler which has 2 and then one in the power supply. Is that overkill, 9 fans seems like overkill?
TL:DR
Is a PC with 9 fans (including the power supply) overkill?

Yocan is a well-known and reputable brand of vaporizer manufacturer that manufactures wholesale vaporizers to countries all over the world. Because of its high-quality product quality and excellent after-sales service, it has won the trust of atomizer consumers all over the world in the atomizer industry.
Yocan vaporizer Manufacturer specializes in R&D·production of portable and affordable vaporizers for various materials including dried herbs, concentrates, and oils. Yocan evaporators are known for their ease of use, durability, and evaporation efficiency. Some popular vaporizers are Yocan Pillar electric dab rig, Yocan UNI Pro, and Yocan Cubex vape.
Yocan Pillar is a portable e-rig specially developed for CBD concentrate lovers. It has achieved another upgrade in taste. The pillar is filtered through water, and the steam is more moist and refreshing. The compact magnetic connection design is very suitable for people who travel, and they can enjoy the happiness brought by dab e rig wherever they go.
Yocan UNI Pro is a multifunctional vaporizer specially designed for oil and ink cartridges. It features variable voltage settings and a universal 510 threaded connection, allowing you to use various cartridges. The Uni Pro also features a warm-up function and adjustable height and width to accommodate different cartridge sizes.
Yocan Pillar mini electric dab rig
Yocan Cubex is a portable vape pen suitable for the evaporation of wax concentrates. The concealed appearance design is very ideal for cautious e-cigarette enthusiasts, making it difficult for you to be found when using it.
Overall, Yocan is considered a reliable manufacturer of vaporizers, offering a range of options to suit different vaping preferences. If you are still looking for an excellent vaporizer supplier, Yocan must be your best choice!

my parents once again reminded me today how little they care about me. if my own parents don’t want me, then i don’t think anyone else does either. im so tired of my life im ready to call it quits. and if there’s no reason for me to stick around then what am i waiting for.
my parents tell me im a liability. hopefully the life insurance they collect on me makes them feel like raising me was worth it idk. seems like all they see me as is a price tag. all i do is eat up their time, money and resources. makes me wonder why they had me in the first place. im 19 btw, if that explains anything.
tbh i just want to feel wanted. i told my mom that once and she told me im too sentimental. my dad said im selfish. my parents are divorced and since the divorce they’ve only ever seen me as a mini version of each other. their resentment for each other is now their resentment towards me. they’ve even mistakenly called me each other’s names before.
i don’t feel happy. i don’t feel wanted. i feel like people are tired of me. and im tired of just trying to “suck it up” until the next day. i just want this to be over. i wanna put everything to an end. sorry this is so vague. this is kinda a last resort for me.
tldr: my parents don’t give a crap about me. therefore, theres no reason for me to stick around and continue suffering through my life.

Bhutanese Dishes
Nestled in the heart of the Himalayas, the kingdom of Bhutan is not only known for its breathtaking landscapes and Gross National Happiness but also for its unique and delectable cuisine. Bhutanese dishes reflect the country's rich cultural heritage, blending traditional flavors with fresh ingredients to create a truly remarkable culinary experience. In this blog post, we will embark on a gastronomic journey and explore some of the iconic Bhutanese Dish

Ema Datshi

Ema Datshi is considered the national dish of Bhutan and is a staple in every Bhutanese household. This fiery dish is made with green chili peppers cooked in a rich and creamy cheese sauce. The combination of the spicy chilies and the creamy cheese creates a harmonious balance of flavors that is both satisfying and addictive.

Datshi

Another popular dish in Bhutan is Datshi, which is essentially a cheese curry. Made from the same local cheese used in Ema Datshi, Datshi is a rich and hearty dish that is often accompanied by vegetables, mushrooms, or meat. The creamy and flavorful cheese sauce makes it a favorite among locals and visitors alike.

Phaksha Paa

Phaksha Paa is a traditional Bhutanese pork dish that showcases the country's love for meat. The succulent pieces of pork are stir-fried with spicy red chilies, onions, and a generous amount of garlic. The combination of flavors in Phaksha Paa is tantalizing, and the dish is often served with red rice, a Bhutanese staple.

Momos

No exploration of Bhutanese cuisine would be complete without mentioning Momos. These dumplings are filled with a variety of fillings such as minced meat, cheese, or vegetables. Steamed or fried to perfection, Momos are often served with a spicy tomato-based sauce, adding an extra kick to these delightful bite-sized treats.
Bhutanese cuisine offers a unique blend of flavors and culinary traditions that will captivate any food enthusiast. From the fiery Ema Datshi to the savory Phaksha Paa, each dish reflects the country's rich cultural heritage and commitment to preserving its culinary traditions. So, if you ever find yourself in the Land of the Thunder Dragon, don't miss the opportunity to savor the delightful flavors of Bhutanese cuisine. Your taste buds will thank you for the experience!
If you are planning for Bhutan trip, Norbu Bhutan Travel is the best choice for your memorable and enchanting tour to Bhutan.

I went back to watch the first video on their channel (which was "The Try Guys Throw A Baby Shower").
I had a personally traumatic life event which chronologically aligned with the Try Guys' big "event of 2022". And tonight, I decided to revisit the very beginning of the Try Guys independent channel to attempt to revisit some old happy memories.
At first, i felt wary - I haven't seen a video with Ned in at least 6 months. I never tried to go backwards and revisit old content.
But I watched that very beginning tonight - and I can report that Zach, Keith and Eugene never changed at their very core. Of course they've all gone through their own life events that have affected them personally, it was so refreshing to see that the 3 have maintained their spirit throughout the many years and rebrands. It shows that there was a fundamental heartbeat to the company all along, and I love that the company has carried that spirit throughout the years!

I 27F have been with the father of my children 28 for 12yrs, on and off. Engaged not engaged. Back story we met it middle school dated in HS and been together pretty much since. Senior yr of hs I was pregnant with our first son, then 7yrs later we had 2 daughters back to back leading into last yr 2022. He had a stable income for the majority of our years together, Ive worked since HS and I’ve also had seasonal jobs in between. As of our second child in 2021 I’ve been a stay at home mother due to me not wanting outside child care (it gives me anxiety) not to mention we wouldn’t be able to afford it unless I was full time and thats almost impossible. He is full time and everybody in my support system also works.. neatliess to say he’s always been in charge of the income. Weve both been with other ppl in the past and have recovered and tried to make things work for the better half of 5 years now. I come from divorced parents so I really have the urge to make my family work even through my thoughts of unhappiness, just to say Im fully aware at some point staying together “just for the kids” may eventually cause more trauma than good.
Starting around or even before my second pregnancy he started drinking more and although he just proposed 2019 he also started stepping out on the relationship. I felt it was my time of need, pregnant and sick so I understand I put a strain on our sex lives but to think he would stick by my side and fight with me was a mistake. There’s two sides to every story but as I know as facts that I seen with my own eyes…….. I had a friend I didn’t really speak to due to life but we always been friends/friendly so I was shocked to see my child’s father texted her and they don’t even know each other, I met her in a summer school program. He said they never hung out when I asked but I asked her myself and he lied to my face. They hung out a few times and he paid her $100+ for “conversation”. I was shook but don’t care to lose a shxt person like that in my life. TOODLES girly! But HE makes me feel so EMBARRASSED by his actions,I can’t fathom the betrayal. I’ve seen his onlyfans account of transactions over or around $1,000 (buying visa gift cards so I don’t see transaction) of girls we went to HS with or he’s pretty much stalked girls social media’s, trying meet up with pornstars/celebrities. When I confronted him, he said “what do you expect you don’t give me nothing and I still give you attention so I don’t see the big deal, I only do it when we have money”.. He has full conversations with these girls under Anonymous accounts but can’t sit down with me to talk about our problems and issues or even about our kids?! When I speak to get to the bottom of things, he walks away and ignores my questions. These girls just want money and he’s trying his hardest to meet up until, I interrupt!! I’ve seen text threads of him talking to coworkers hiding their name under male names,trying to flirt or go out for drinks. I’ve spoke to the “massage therapist” he paid $200 to get “massages” from, off of Craigslist. I asked him first he said he never booked just talk to her, so I asked her and she confirmed he had a few sessions. I called him yelling only then did he tell the truth and or say he forgot details. I think I broke his switch in that same convo. He got fired on the spot by his boss. This boss was an old friend of his from a previous job years ago, his boss saw his wife’s phone and seen the same inappropriate text I seen between his wife and my child’s father. Texts like “I hope you’re keeping our text private”, telling her that she seems like she wants something more, asking about her sex life and what she likes.. I’ve seen all this myself but keep on making excuses like maybe I caused this? He’s begging to stay a family and not put him on child support. While hes been months late on rent and buying alcohol daily while were on our way to our 3 child around Christmas time. I was broken finding out all this and will admit I did some pretty horrible things to him in retaliation. Which leads me to believe this is TOXIC. Idk hormones were baddd!? I’m such a loving person or atleast was but I feel so stuck and angry lately. I did things Im ashamed of. Me being hurt isn’t an excuse but my reason. I feel more so justified although wrong. He refuses AA but won’t stop drinking bc I continue to find empty bottles hidden and he pulls out cash from atm so I don’t see transactions on card for liquor store. My eldest, now 9 know his dads a drunk. He has witnessed his father sleep on this siblings while he was suppose to be watching them or even worst, the time 2am drunk peeing on our sons floor. Our son woke me up crying cause he was scared by the way his dad was acting, he literally said “like a zombie”. He fell asleep on his bottom bunk and my son was scared to sleep in there. I let him sleep in my bed while I woke his father up by pouring a glass of water on him. He didn’t recall what he just did matter of fact “said no I didnt” as I clean up the warm pee.. I hate myself and was embarrassed to tell that story bc I feel like I’m someway allowing it by staying… idk what to do realistically with 3 kids involved but I need to do it soon, safely and efficiently. I can’t really heal from this, idk how, no matter how many ways he says sorry..He has never been honest, I have always only found out myself. I’ve never received any type of closure from all these situations, Which makes me feel crazy that he thinks everythings okay and normal, I feel crazy I stalk his phone, that I smell fireball on his breathe but he swears he’s not drinking. Him lying while I’m looking at facts/proof.. it’s all driving me crazy!
I’m not perfect I started talking to an my ex after I kicked him out when I found his first OF account. I also made a dating app to make him mad. Hes claims he’s never cheated physically and he wants to be a family, thats why I never really consider us “broken up” if hes constantly texting me begging for his family back and claims he tryna do for better us. I want to go to therapy before giving up on Him but he refuses to go. IDK if Hes the narc thats gaslighting me? Or if I’m the narc ? Idk if I’m going through a reactive trauma response? I feel like I was a happy child/teenager and I never use to be this angry….I don’t feel like myself anymore and as for him, I don’t even know who that man is when I look at him. All I feel is anger and disgust. If this isn’t fixable, what would be some good first steps to end this toxic relationship?

I just wanted to say I am super happy with my supernote. The latest update fixed an issue I didn't know was possible to fix! I was using a planner as PDF, now since the update I moved to using it as a template. Now not only do the hyperlinks still work, I can also add extra pages to it when necessary! 😁
Now only shared clipboard between digest/pdf/notes and linking between from pdf to notes and I'm set!
I'm also of course very much looking forward to the todo implementation when it comes!

I've had a tough time with another best friend of 10+ years to randomly ghost me in 2021 and I got support from my other close friends about it. Then...one of my best friends (who supported me through the friend ghosting me and was completely confused by it too) have not seen each other since last summer. But she has stopped replying to my messages a few weeks after we last saw each other.
I went through a breakup last summer and could of used some support by her at least replying to my message when she messaged saying it sounded like things in my life were going well (which they weren't so I just messaged her a brief description of how I was struggling with the breakup) and she just never opened the message. (This was sent September 2022).
I get it. Nobody is obligated to reply to messages, I just would have appreciated her saying she was taking a break from social media or contacting friends instead of being left hanging. Not to mention she was still actively using social media - just not messaging me back but she was able to comment on my posts...hah. At the time I was a bit confused but did not think anything of it.
Anyways, I message her around Christmas time via Instagram as a different form of communication to see what her plans are for the break, prior to Christmas day - I receive no response. But she messages to wish me a merry Christmas on the 25th and I do the same. She then reaches out again in the new year to apologise for not seeing me during the break and I said no worries all the best etc.
No further contact until she messages me wishing me a happy birthday, I reply nicely but do not try and start a conversation to only get ignored again.
Finally...A couple days ago I took the plunge and messaged her...I saw her active on social media and thought now is the chance. But guess what, no response. Is that it? Friendship is done? Like surely if you do not have your notifications on you can still see messages...How can a best friend just forget about someone? If she wants space I don't know why she does not just say... She always brought up the fact that it was weird how my other friend just ghosted me and she would not in a million years think to do that but it seems that's almost happening. It just upsets me, my circle is already small and now it feels even smaller.
Just seeking advice/support/ has anyone been in a similar situation?

I am a female 19 year old college student. When I was in high school, I became friends with a girl whom we’ll call Joe(18). She and I became friends and bonded over our love for plants, music, books, tv, and art. To paint a picture of her, she grew up in a religious christian household, and left christianity sometime in early high school. She was on and off of different antidepressants and mood stabilizers throughout our friendship. She had the same therapist for many years and had a close relationship with her. She loves her animals and urges me and our other close friend, ( we’ll call her ember ) to let her dogs and cats lick our faces because that’s how they connect to people. She saves baby birds with broken wings, loves kids, and is generally just a positive and happy go lucky kind of chick.
I left for college in the fall of 2022, and she was still in high school, so we didn’t talk or hang out for almost a year. We also didn’t speak the summer leading up to the school year, because there had been a split down our friend group and joe, ember and I had gone our separate ways. She reconnected to me sometime in early 2023 asking to start hanging out and I told her no and made excuses because of the abrupt nature of our friendship ending the summer prior. I started working with her again at my summer job in my hometown a month ago and have since noticed many changes in her demeanor, verbiage, and overall personality, and I started smoking with her after work sometimes like we used to, including ember.
She talks way less, and frequently zones out or stays completely silent when anyone is talking to her. She often tells me she doesn’t understand what we’re talking about, or what’s “ going on “. She speaks in a kiddish manor, often reciting omens about forgiveness and peace. Almost scripture like. Like a kid in bible school. Anything that she liked before, books, art, tv, etc, she has no interest in now. The only tv she watches are kids cartoons, and says the reason why is that “ tv is meaningless so i just watch happy stuff “ which seems just like some hippie shit she would say so I didn’t think much of that. I noticed as we all hung out that when ember or I would talk about anything we liked, our hobbies or interests, she never had any of her own. She takes care of her plants, and reads and meditates. The thing is, she only reads one book. Over and over. It’s called, “ A Course in Miracles “.
As time has gone on she mentions this book more and more. In fact 9/10 times I hear her say ANYTHING it’s just a reference to the book or peace or forgiveness or how nothing matters and reality isn’t real. She claims that the only “ real “ thing is love, and anything else in this world or life other than that, is ego.
One day ember and I went to her house to smoke and when we get there we enter her room like usual, and to sit on the bed, I had to close this big blue book that was opened to the smack dab middle in the middle of her bed. I hand her the book to sit down, and I’m reading the title as I hand it over. She takes this action as interest, and starts explaining the book to me.
I hate to use this word, but she truly sounded completely delusional. She claimed she was just “ further along on her spiritual journey” than we were, and she had reached enlightenment by discovering that reality is an illusion, and sin doesn’t exist because nothing is real. She no longer believes in personal accountability, and recently has made plans with me 12 hours in advance and blown me off as I’m sitting there waiting in the parking lot for her to show up. I recently told her how upset this recurring action is, and she told me “ I’m not a planner. I’m a free spirit, I just go with the flow. What’s supposed to happen happens and what doesn’t, doesn’t. “
The issue with this of course being that she wasn’t that much of a free spirit to reach out and make the plan in the first place.
I started looking into this book and it turns out that the author regretted writing the book immensely, and said she “ hated that damn book “. She died of cancer, which according to the book, isn’t possible because enlightenment cures ALL sickness. The book has been openly criticized for it’s sketchy ties to christianity, the bureaucratic shit the author did to call this a self help book even though it’s more of a religious book, and also the insane contradictory statements it makes. The author of the book claimed that Jesus spoke to her and told her to rewrite the Bible, because it was wrong. Hence, this book. I’ve also read that this book preys on young minds that were indoctrinated by christianity and escaped it. Some call it new age woo.
The more I see the worse it gets. The author says she regrets writing it in the first place. This book sends people into a state of dissociative psychosis. I remember Joe saying to me, “ Before I found this book, I wanted to kill myself. “ I am afraid that she’s already too deep in and has no grip on reality at all, not that she believes in it anyway. And the loss of it might send her off the deep end.
I have lots of shit on my plate, so does everyone, but this is a really large topic, and I definitely don’t have any energy to entertain this further. She feels hollow. She has no passion for anything, except her belief in nothing. As her friend, and just as a human that is concerned, I feel some sort of obligation to do something about this. I also feel the urge to just not speak to her anymore and call it done. Her actions are very selfish and it is hard to empathize with her when I know that she didn’t do any research. It’s hard to even take it seriously in a way.
She didn’t do as much as a Google search before devoting her life to this book. She lives by its scriptures and uses them to do whatever she wants, whenever she feels like it.
Would stepping in at this point even help? Would she dismiss me as not real if I even had concerns about it or brought it up?
I am wondering if my friend is still in there somewhere. She’s just graduated high school and is still very young, but has always been a little naïve and uninformed. Do I jump off a sinking ship? Or is that selfish and I need to help her? I just had to get this out of my system because I cannot stop worrying about the consequences this is going to have.

I am a female 19 year old college student. When I was in high school, I became friends with a girl whom we’ll call Joe(18). She and I became friends and bonded over our love for plants, music, books, tv, and art. To paint a picture of her, she grew up in a religious christian household, and left christianity sometime in early high school. She was on and off of different antidepressants and mood stabilizers throughout our friendship. She had the same therapist for many years and had a close relationship with her. She loves her animals and urges me and our other close friend, ( we’ll call her ember ) to let her dogs and cats lick our faces because that’s how they connect to people. She saves baby birds with broken wings, loves kids, and is generally just a positive and happy go lucky kind of chick.
I left for college in the fall of 2022, and she was still in high school, so we didn’t talk or hang out for almost a year. We also didn’t speak the summer leading up to the school year, because there had been a split down our friend group and joe, ember and I had gone our separate ways. She reconnected to me sometime in early 2023 asking to start hanging out and I told her no and made excuses because of the abrupt nature of our friendship ending the summer prior. I started working with her again at my summer job in my hometown a month ago and have since noticed many changes in her demeanor, verbiage, and overall personality, and I started smoking with her after work sometimes like we used to, including ember.
She talks way less, and frequently zones out or stays completely silent when anyone is talking to her. She often tells me she doesn’t understand what we’re talking about, or what’s “ going on “. She speaks in a kiddish manor, often reciting omens about forgiveness and peace. Almost scripture like. Like a kid in bible school. Anything that she liked before, books, art, tv, etc, she has no interest in now. The only tv she watches are kids cartoons, and says the reason why is that “ tv is meaningless so i just watch happy stuff “ which seems just like some hippie shit she would say so I didn’t think much of that. I noticed as we all hung out that when ember or I would talk about anything we liked, our hobbies or interests, she never had any of her own. She takes care of her plants, and reads and meditates. The thing is, she only reads one book. Over and over. It’s called, “ A Course in Miracles “.
As time has gone on she mentions this book more and more. In fact 9/10 times I hear her say ANYTHING it’s just a reference to the book or peace or forgiveness or how nothing matters and reality isn’t real. She claims that the only “ real “ thing is love, and anything else in this world or life other than that, is ego.
One day ember and I went to her house to smoke and when we get there we enter her room like usual, and to sit on the bed, I had to close this big blue book that was opened to the smack dab middle in the middle of her bed. I hand her the book to sit down, and I’m reading the title as I hand it over. She takes this action as interest, and starts explaining the book to me.
I hate to use this word, but she truly sounded completely delusional. She claimed she was just “ further along on her spiritual journey” than we were, and she had reached enlightenment by discovering that reality is an illusion, and sin doesn’t exist because nothing is real. She no longer believes in personal accountability, and recently has made plans with me 12 hours in advance and blown me off as I’m sitting there waiting in the parking lot for her to show up. I recently told her how upset this recurring action is, and she told me “ I’m not a planner. I’m a free spirit, I just go with the flow. What’s supposed to happen happens and what doesn’t, doesn’t. “
The issue with this of course being that she wasn’t that much of a free spirit to reach out and make the plan in the first place.
I started looking into this book and it turns out that the author regretted writing the book immensely, and said she “ hated that damn book “. She died of cancer, which according to the book, isn’t possible because enlightenment cures ALL sickness. The book has been openly criticized for it’s sketchy ties to christianity, the bureaucratic shit the author did to call this a self help book even though it’s more of a religious book, and also the insane contradictory statements it makes. The author of the book claimed that Jesus spoke to her and told her to rewrite the Bible, because it was wrong. Hence, this book. I’ve also read that this book preys on young minds that were indoctrinated by christianity and escaped it. Some call it new age woo.
The more I see the worse it gets. The author says she regrets writing it in the first place. This book sends people into a state of dissociative psychosis. I remember Joe saying to me, “ Before I found this book, I wanted to kill myself. “ I am afraid that she’s already too deep in and has no grip on reality at all, not that she believes in it anyway. And the loss of it might send her off the deep end.
I have lots of shit on my plate, so does everyone, but this is a really large topic, and I definitely don’t have any energy to entertain this further. She feels hollow. She has no passion for anything, except her belief in nothing. As her friend, and just as a human that is concerned, I feel some sort of obligation to do something about this. I also feel the urge to just not speak to her anymore and call it done. Her actions are very selfish and it is hard to empathize with her when I know that she didn’t do any research. It’s hard to even take it seriously in a way.
She didn’t do as much as a Google search before devoting her life to this book. She lives by its scriptures and uses them to do whatever she wants, whenever she feels like it.
Would stepping in at this point even help? Would she dismiss me as not real if I even had concerns about it or brought it up?
I am wondering if my friend is still in there somewhere. She’s just graduated high school and is still very young, but has always been a little naïve and uninformed. Do I jump off a sinking ship? Or is that selfish and I need to help her? I just had to get this out of my system because I cannot stop worrying about the consequences this is going to have.

I honestly don't know how to start this, I have too many things to say and very few words to express them. If you are reading this it is because I am dead, because I disappeared from your life or because I entrusted this to you, leaving it up to you whether to read it or not.
Many times, speaking of serious stuff, I told you not to feel obliged to read, that you could skip the conversation and that it was fine. Not this time, I ask you to read all of it, I ask that you only read it and not share what is in these letters. Although obviously you are within your rights to do so.
Of all the people in my life, you will probably be the one who will receive my longest death letter. I have too much to write to you. So I'm afraid this letter will end up being too short because it would mean that the biggest and my favorite connection I've ever made with another human being can be summed up in less than an hour of reading.
It seems strange to me to think that you could be reading this in a very distant future where we are no longer a part of each other's lives. One where you might even have forgotten who I am.
Well, getting to the point, in case you are somewhat like me in that maybe you are not convinced of something nice no matter how many people tell you, I want to make it clear to you. At the time I write this we have known each other for 7 years, and for 5 years I have considered you the best friendship I ever had in my life. I very much doubt that anything will change this and if in 10, 15 or more years I can continue seeing you often, talking about things that happened to us and laughing about a show we like, it would make me very happy.

 Friendship 

When I met you, you didn't really stand out to me much, I don't think I would have ever imagined how much our relationship could develop. You were just one of the group of those who got into technical school late. I remember that with T we called you rocket girl because your hair was green like a Tristana skin :p.
Over time you formed a group with T and Tr while I wandered around the classroom looking for a place where I could sit. I was never afraid to join your group, even if they said you were toxic and whatnot. You never gave me that impression.
I think it was the first time in my life that I felt so accepted by those I decided to call friends. You, more than anything, I can't describe the sense of the peace that you made me feel after those years where, one after the other, those who were my so-called friends ended up making me hate myself. I really liked being your friend and I would repeat the experience as many times as possible. I enjoyed every moment you let me come over to your house for lunch, growing up sitting together on a school desk day after day. It makes me feel happy to know that during all those years we spent talking about anything that could entertain us or about some hypothetical moral conflict, you saw me as a true friend. I always had that voice in my head that repeated to me that, deep down, you didn't like me or you'd just get tired of me.
I'm glad I can look back and know now how much you trusted me, always opening up and letting me paint my words, advice, comfort and affection in your mind. I smile every time I remember the difference of how I felt being your friend to what I lived since elementary school.
Words are not enough to express how much I appreciate you and how much I treasure all the mornings, afternoons and nights that we've spent together laughing, complaining, talking, studying, growing, living.
I was thinking of giving you this for your birthday, but I think it would be too much. Despite how long we've known each other and how close we ended up being, I don't remember ever giving you a gift. If I tell you the truth, sometimes I feel like it's because I don't think I can give you something you deserve, something that can make you happy for at least a few minutes, and it scares me to think that you might end up hating something that I give you.
You are an important part in most of my best memories. Playing and talking on the patio of your house, caressing Dana or laughing with your brothers. Walking through the corridors of the school and using recess to take advantage of the tranquility of the library. The conversations that could last for hours, at your house or mine, sitting in class or on the way out, by call or message. Sometimes I miss that feeling when I saw you arrive and decided to sit with me, because it meant that you enjoyed spending time with me, in the same way that I enjoyed spending time with you.
"Thank you for putting up with me" you wrote in a note that you left in my letter for the future from fourth year, as if it were something difficult, as if your presence was not something nice that made my days happy. I should thank you for everything. Thank YOU for putting up with ME, for being my friend, for paying attention to the bullshit I say and for letting it occupy so much of your life. Thanks A.
🐞Para A🐞 If you're reading this shortly after I wrote it, I guess you already noticed, but I haven't stopped liking you for a day since the end of third year. You are the person I liked the most, although you already know that.
It's wrong that I feel like this, I really feel that there is something wrong for me to continue thinking like this after knowing that my feelings lead to nothing. I wish I could try to stop liking you by force, but after knowing that you used to like me and after kissing you, I see it as impossible. Twice I tried and failed.
When the pandemic began I assumed that when we returned to regularity I would not feel the same, and I assumed wrong. When seventh year began, I felt guilty for not having been able to "get over you" and I was afraid that I would make you uncomfortable or that you would find out and think that I didn't value you just as my friend.
When you got with J I thought that might be it, but no. And I blamed myself for feeling that way about you when you were in a relationship.
It's stupid and pathetic, but having had to spend every day next to you two hurt me. I never hated your relationship, but out of my selfishness I distanced myself from the group. I tried everything to distract myself and accept that I would never be able to be with you.
2022 When I started uni I thought that maybe I would meet someone who would make me forget how I felt. For a while I tried to convince myself that I liked Dia. It was logical, right? If we got along so well and I saw her daily. I love her a lot, but I didn't get to see her like this. There was a time in my life where I questioned if I really liked women or the idea of ​​romance with a person just because I had no interest in anyone other than you. But that wasn't right, was it? If you were someone I was going to like for a while, a few months at the most. Sometimes I think that everything would be easier if I'd never had these emotions tied to your existence.
Around September we started talking again like before, and we hung out often and I hated not being able to just be your friend, wanting something more. I felt that I was betraying you, and I couldn't try to "get away and stop talking to you" because I didn't want to, I don't want to and I won't ever want that. I don't like to think of a future where the years go by and you are no longer part of my life.
When you told me that you still remembered when I told you that I liked you, I felt like I was going to die until you said that you remembered it as something nice. I imagined many reactions to that, but never that one. I used to feel guilty for a while. I really believed that since that day I had started to bother you every time we hugged or when we hung out. I was glad to know that all along it was all in my head and that you were not disgusted or annoyed by it.
The day you told me you used to like me I had to stop everything I was doing and sit down. I started to look at some trees and I was on the verge of crying. You had filled my head with so many thoughts at the same time that they seemed to form a kind of white noise that pretended to be silence for the minutes that I was immobile.
Once I calmed down, I was able to allow myself to feel and think about different things, but if I didn't feel something, it was hope, because you were with J and I knew it was a very nice relationship and you loved each other. I think if I had felt that way I would have completely hated myself.
I spent entire days insulting myself in my head "I'm an idiot", "how come I didn't realize it?", "why the hell did I reject a kiss from you?! If all that time it was what I wanted the most". I think I had gotten so used to not having experience in loving and being loved in this way that I had resigned myself to being like this for the rest of my life. You yourself repeated to me several times that I lacked love and yoeyweren't wrong haha, I just wish you were the one who could give it to me. I have blinded myself my entire life in a cloak of hate, convincing myself that I am unworthy of love, that there is no way anyone would like me or see me as cute or be attracted to me. Because I'm obviously boring, I have no personality, my voice is ugly, my face and body are disgusting, and so on. By closing my eyes all my life I lost the opportunity to have the most beautiful thing that could have happened to me. I wish I hadn't blinded myself.
And your messages did nothing more than open my eyes.
"I wonder why I liked you then if you're just funny, kind, understanding, attentive and sweet"
I would never have described myself like that, for as long as I can remember I haven't had a good image of myself. Seeing that from your eyes, I was that, made me very happy. Knowing not only that someone could see me that way but also that that someone was you, that made it more special for me.
"I wish I could have been with you to erase those thoughts with kisses"
I read the latter in a notification while in class. I couldn't concentrate and I think if someone had seen me I would have been red faced. I think those weeks I used the library more to read your messages over and over again than to study.
The point is that your messages erased many of my negative thoughts. With two days of your kisses and almost a month of your affection, you have erased a lot. If I could have been with you, I know that I would be the happiest person in the world.
Diciembre 2022
I got really confused in December. When you broke up with J at no time did I feel hopeful or anything like that. On the contrary, I didn't understand how you had come to that solution after everything I'd told you. You had just gotten out of a year-long relationship and obviously you were going to be damaged and confused. I didn't want to "take advantage" of you, so I just lived day to day with doubts.
At one point I tried to calm you down while you said that no one else was ever going to love you. My throat burned wanting to tell you "what about me?", "I want to love you" but the idea was to help you and not think about myself.
Maybe if I had made more selfish decisions I would be where I want to be with you, but I don't know if I would be happy with how I got there.
I remember that years ago I stayed to sleep at your house, before going to the attractions park, and you woke me up seeing me with such a slight but genuine smile. That day I wasn't sure what I had felt and I wasn't going to be able to understand it until recently.
We hung out more often in December, sleeping together, separated by a pillow, until one day I fell asleep while we were watching Howl. I woke up early while you were still asleep and saw your face glued to mine. Half asleep, I didn't even think about it, but I knew what I wanted the most at that moment, and I hugged you before going back to sleep almost instantly. That's when I felt again what I felt a few years ago, the happiness of seeing your face when waking up. And then you woke me up by pulling me closer, hugging me and using my chest as a pillow. You made me feel wanted.
Being able to sleep holding you felt like something that was missing from my life but I had no way of knowing what it was until then. The warm breeze of your breath on my face or chest, your arms squeezing my body and our embraced legs, the little jumps you hit in your sleep from time to time and the smell of your hair. It feels weird to describe it, it might even make you a little disgusted, but it was something that made it feel like I had rested for twelve hours even though we slept for one.
The day of the World Cup final I left your house after celebrating and you told me what you told me, and we talked about it the next day in the park. I was paralyzed.
Despite the times that I repeated the same thoughts in my head, I couldn't convince myself that surely that only happened because you missed him, that it was childish to get excited and think that you felt that way just because it was me. I guess I was a little stupid, but I was tired of living up to this miserable point in my life, never even having kissed anyone. And having the opportunity to be the person with whom I most wanted to experience everything for the first time (and if life went my way, the last) filled me with joy.
Noche buena
On the 23rd I went to your house having discussed what we had discussed, knowing that I could tell you that I wanted to kiss you, that what I wanted most since fourth year was to kiss you and only you. And... You beat me to it hahaha. You asked me if I would mind if you kissed me, in my mind I laughed knowing that I wouldn't mind at all. That I would like a kiss from you every day until I die. Accepting felt like making up for my mistake of turning you down in fifth year.
The following afternoon what happened happened and I don't know how to describe it, I felt somewhat privileged. I remember once telling you, when you were criticizing your legs and your body, that "I only saw 70% of your body, but I'm sure it's very pretty", and obviously it's okay that you have insecurities but for two days I was able to see you almost completely. and I realized that all the little things that gave you insecurity were beautiful. I don't understand how you hate things that I loved from the very moment I saw.
I think you are a beautiful being, in every millimeter of you, in every gram of your soul and in every second that I shared with you. And you may be beautiful but I don't like you just for that nor did I start to like you just because of how you look. There is something in you and I don't know what it is, but when we talk I want to keep talking to you more and more. Your voice is very beautiful; your expressions and your way of speaking; your laughter. God your laugh, the happiness it gives me to see you and hear you laugh is incredible. I know it doesn't make sense, but sometimes I feel like I love everything about you. I love your humor and the natural way we talk to each other, how affectionate you are, the way you balance between being someone calm and releasing a lot of energy that you had accumulated. I love your tastes in what you decide to see or read, because, although they do not always coincide with mine, they make you someone who interests me a lot. All without mentioning the little things that make you you, like your habits with food, how you spend your time, the difference between the music we listen to. I love when you react with a sticker or you're speechless to something nice that escaped my mouth and I ended up telling you. I love how candid you are about how you see the world and how you convey it. The tone of your voice and the noises you make when explaining something. How you close your eyes a little when I annoy you jokingly and your sarcasm when you annoy me. Sometimes a while goes by that we don't see each other or talk and when I hear your voice again it's as if I had forgotten it and fell in love with it again.
I don't have many photos of you, at most a couple of the ones you sent me and most of them don't show your face. But I treasure them because I can see even if it's your hair for a while and remember when I could caress it while you lay on my chest. When I see you again in person I am surprised again by how beautiful you are. By your smile and your way of being.
If there is something I want more than anything in the world, it is to be able to be yours, to be able to spend my life day by day knowing that I can kiss you and that I can admire you carefully without shame until you realize it. Knowing that you love me and that I love you, being able to sleep in each other's arms and being able to say with a smile that we are a couple. But I can not. And it would be so easy to cut you out of my life to stop feeling that way, get myself a new set of friends, and like someone I don't feel that way about. But I love being your friend, and I can't bear the thought of losing the greatest friendship of my life just to forget that I liked you for so long. If I disappeared from your life... What would you do? Or rather, what would you feel? If you knew that I exist and that I'm still alive where I always was, but we didn't talk or see each other anymore, what would you think of me? I just hope you understand that if I do something like this it's because I can't stand being in love with you anymore without having any conclusion.
It hurts so much to know that you don't feel the same way I feel about you. If you read this while I'm still alive, it may make you uncomfortable from now on, as well as you may not feel anything reading all this, which would be worse. I think that if something would destroy me it would be to be invisible to you, that these nights writing with tears in my eyes are just a piece of paper that doesn't cause you the slightest feeling.
When you told me you were back together with J I cried for the first time in a long time. And it wasn't enough because I continued like this without sleeping for several nights on the coast. I feel a little bad about that, it's not right to feel bad because two people make up and love each other. Since we're never going to be together, all I have to do is focus on stopping feeling that way about you.
It must be very strange for you to read all of this and I apologize, especially if it's a few years in the future. I just wanted to make sure you really know how I felt, to die with no regrets. Although if I had one left, it would be dying without being able to be with you.
If the day comes when we don't talk to each other anymore and the days go by and you forget my existence, or I'm no longer alive, I want you to know that almost since I met you you were my favorite person. Just seeing you made my days happy, hearing you talk, laugh or send me a video or photo about anything you do, gave me life. You never bothered me, I never hated you or got tired of you. Every memory that I have by your side I keep as a treasure and I hate the idea of ​​losing your presence in my life. If when I am old I suffer from dementia I pray so that the last thing I forget is you. If I'm grateful for anything in this life, it's for having met you.
I saw someone say that we should choose those who choose us, and I started to wonder if you would choose me. If you could only spend time with someone again and never see anyone in the world again would you choose me? I assume not, and I accept that. But I know that I wouldn't hesitate for a second to choose you, I would spend every second of my life with you. If my vision is taken away and I could only see one thing, I would choose you. If I found out that I only have one day to live, I would spend it with you, and when I close my eyes for the last time, when I take my last breath, if only I were by your side, I would die in peace.
Dia says that I don't like you, that I'm in love. At first it made me laugh because it sounds so stupid and sweet but I don't know, every day that passes I feel like it's the best I have to describe it. Sometimes I think that I have no right to have these immature feelings. But I guess it's normal not to be able to let you go if at nineteen I experienced for the first time what a normal person does at fourteen. Someone not so pathetic and desperate for love, your love, like me. Someone who at this stage of my life has already learned that you have to let go of those who can't love you. But I don't want to stop loving you, in my grave I'll keep thinking about you.
You once told me that the only person whose absence you wouldn't get used to if they left your life was me. I don't know why you thought I deserved to hear something so nice. And before reading that message I never wanted so much to repeat your own words to you.
It was recently the first time that I was able to tell you that I love you, and you me. It was only by text when you said hello to me on my birthday, but no matter the context I appreciate it for the power I give to that word. I feel that even though we have said the same thing, they did not have the same weight behind them. I know you never loved me nor will you love me the way I wanted to, but really, thank you very much for loving me all these years. Since I met you, you filled my days with a warm light that could turn a bad day into one of the best.
I find it curious that at this point in my life I consider you my best friend, the person closest to me and one of the most important people for my existence, you are almost like a pillar in my life. And yet, as much as I know about you, from time to time I feel like a stranger, as if I have only scratched the surface of who you are. And that only makes me want to meet you and discover you completely day by day, having spent 60 years with you and still being able to discover a crumb of your being, but smile every time I get to know you more.
Someday I wish I could be in the position and time to ask you if you still want to know what would have happened if we hadn't been so clumsy and ended up together, because there isn't a single day where I don't want to know.
It's so hard for me to accept that surely you'll never want to be with me again. That you don't see me the same way anymore, because it would mean that you never came to want me the same way that I want you. It's been more than five years since you entered my head and never left it, my heart flutters with shame or emotion just thinking about you.
Thanks for everything. Thank you for being my friend, for putting up with me, for not being disgusted by me and hugging me and telling me you loved me. Thank you for making me realize that beautiful things can happen to me, like being able to spend time with you, hugging and kissing you, being able to witness and share your existence.
It's weird because it feels unfair to think that I can go into a relationship knowing that I can only imagine myself wanting to be with you. That's why unconsciously I think I'm not looking for one, and I'm waiting for you. As much as it hurts me, I wait for you and I could wait for you for months, years, decades and I would still think of you. Because you are the person I want to hear laugh every day, you are the person with whom I want to share both our joy and our pain. I want you to be part of my soul and leave a mark of mine in yours. I want you to be happy and part of growing up is accepting that it doesn't have to be me and that I should be glad you find that in someone else but please God why can't it be me? I don't know if I'll be enough or if I'll be what you're looking for, but I'd love to try to be.
How many times have I told you that I really liked Hime's playlist. It's because most of the songs are about love and although I don't know what that feels like, they all reminded me of you. Every time someone talked about couples or something similar I could only imagine you.
You showed me a song, "amigo triste", which according to you reminded you of me. God knows how long I had it on loop because it was one of the few things I had to give me an idea of ​​who I am from your eyes.
I imagine that with time I'm going to mature and I'm going to truly accept that I can't want you if it doesn't lead to anything. But I would like you to know that in another life you are the best thing that happened to me. In another life, I would be more than happy just knowing that at the end of the day I can spend my time with you, that I live my life with you in its most mundane parts and in its most interesting parts.
In the meantime, I hope you are as happy as possible in this life. And if you don't mind… I love you

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
(5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.
(6)
Expectations of You:
I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
(5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.
(6) Expectations of You: I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!

Whew, what another sensational basho! Many expected the former ōzeki Asanoyama to take the yūshō for himself due to Terunofuji coming back from knee surgery - however, the kaiju came into Natsu 2023 in full force, completely dominating his foes with ease at only a single loss to his name. This is Terunofuji's 8th championship and it probably won't be his last from the looks of it!
We also saw that Kiribayama, who has now adopted his stablemaster Michinoku's shikona "Kirishima", was able to get his required amount of wins to be promoted to ōzeki!! Will he restore further glory to the rank?
Time for the Natsu 2023 Meme Contest winners - and oh boy were there some great posts! To start off, the sanshō prizes will be announced. For the Fighting Spirit prize (most posts submitted) the winner is u/GoblinBags at 30 posts submitted to the meme contest by the time of the deadline! The Technique prize (most upvotes on a spoiler post) is awarded to u/ExtensionEar1901 with their post "WARNING! FEMALE VIEWERS MAY SPONTANEOUSLY OVULATE WHEN VIEWING THIS VIDEO." at 178 upvotes! If I'm not mistaken, this is a new record for the Technique prize!
Now for the overall Meme Yūshō winner! This is the big one, folks! The one who will claim the Meme Emperor's Cup is none other than...
drumroll
u/Zensho-Yusho!!! Their gilded post "Some of us can't stay up late to watch live, Natto is doing the lord's work." received an ASTOUNDING 243 upvotes! This not only sets a record for the most upvotes on a meme contest post, but also a record for most upvotes on ANY post in the entirety of SumoMemes - making it the top post in the subreddit!!! You can certainly say u/Zensho-Yusho's username is extremely befitting and has definitely earned a spot on the list of Meme Yūshō winners!
A huge congratulations to all the winners and thank you to everyone that participated. I can't wait to see what's in store for the next Meme Contest!
The next contest, Nagoya 2023, will start approximately June 25th, 2023. Look forward to it!
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Meme Yūshō Winners

Natsu 2023 - Zensho-Yusho 🏆
Haru 2023 - Thatgirlfromlebanon 🏆
Hatsu 2023 - GoblinBags 🏆
Kyushu 2022 - Isoikari 🏆
Aki 2022 - Erock8779 🏆
Nagoya 2022 - Dresdenapollo 🏆👑
Natsu 2022 - Dresdenapollo 🏆
Haru 2022 - Slapyak5318008 🏆
Hatsu 2022 - Slapyak5318008 🏆👑
Kyushu 2021 - Slapyak5318008 🏆
Nagoya 2021 - Throwitaway488 🏆
Haru 2021 - Dephire 🏆