German shepherd ears stand up

A couple days ago, I was pushing a line of carts into the store, and a black Jeep pulls up to the curb, right in front of the entrance blasting "Eye of the Tiger." Ok, this is kind of normal around here. Whatever.
As I'm working, I notice the guy dumping out a bottle on the sidewalk, and I also notice the Jeep is full of boxes and stuff like he's on a roadtrip or something. I still haven't registered what is actually going on still. My ETL HR helps me move some of the carts, and a TSS is standing just inside as well.
Then I look back again, and notice the guy is still dumping stuff out of bottles. How many drinks does he have? Hold on... These are empty water bottles full of... apple juice?
I realize what's going on, so I'm kind of staring at him in disbelief, and he glares back at me and says "what's up!?" In a challenging way. Guests are walking mere feet from his piss splatter, oblivious to what's going on. Now I feel it's important to remind you that "Eye of the Tiger" is still blasting out of his Jeep. And then the stench hit me.
I pull myself together and try to get ETL HR's attention, but I dont think he heard me over "Eye of the Tiger." I rush just inside to the TSS, and point out what's going on. We are standing there, watching this guy pace the length of the glass doors, pouring out urine bottles, flicking and shaking the bottles to spray the liquid over extra distance. Guests are crossing the "piss ward," to enter and leave the store, totally oblivious, or at least not reacting.
I walked away to let TSS and ETL HR deal with this, with minimal distractions. I asked the TSS later what happened and he said the guy sped away as he go out there, and almost hit another car. A bit later PML came out and hosed the sidewalk because it smelled awful.
My theory is that this guy just really hates Target, and spends a lot of time on road trips. But I also would like to think that he is seeking to protect our store with a "piss ward" to keep away malicious apparitions.
I did not make-up or embellish any of this.
TL;DR: A guy dumped innumerable bottles of pee onto the sidewalk, for the entire length of the glass doors. He made a "piss ward," if you will.

I started dating this guy around February and he ended up cheating on me. I found a hairbrush in his bathroom and he ended up confessing to it. Also saw on his phone that he was speaking to alot of young girls. Some even in high school.
It was extremely hard and difficult but I decided to end things with him. But he begged me to stay and said he won't do that again. He even showed up at my house and refused to leave. I told him I needed space. It's been a month and I am not sure if I should give him another chance. He is upset I decided to go on a date the other day and wants to know where we stand.
Even though he cheated, he was a very kind and understanding person. I loved spending time with him and just being with him.
So I am curious as to how it worked out for people who went through this experience and decided to go back.

I (M22) Have been feeling this unexplainable feelings of bottled anger, hatred, sadness and bitterness currently. I feel very upset because of an incident that happened a few years ago. I was joking around at our class groupchat because I started to feel like that I am making friends (I am kind of an introvert). Then one of my groupmates decided to act like an AH and did something to embarass me at our group chat then afterwatds the people I consider my friends started to join in with his bullying which triggered my messenger anxiety (I have numerous bad experiences using messenger due to encountering awful classmates) and felt like my heart was placed in a bowl of icy cold water. I kept quiet that day and made me feel like that everyone despised me. After the following years I had seem to forgotten it but from time to time that hatred and desire for vengeance is returns for no reason. I don't know what to do. I want to forgive and forget. I tend to hold grudges to those people who had severely wronged me and made me look like a fool. I feel angry because I allowed him to doormat me and didn't called him out because I feel like no one would side with me if I tried to stand up to him. I hated him for making my life miserable and to those classmates that joined him who I considered as friends. I wanted vengeance and see them suffer. Thanks to them I became more introverted and quiet.

I am feeling a deep urge to write something right now. It’s Sunday morning today. Have woken up after a good 8 hours of sleep. I am sitting nicely in bed with my diary and lit up a dhoop for aroma therapy.
I have been feeling too happy recently when I am alone in my room in PG. No one is there to disturb my flow of thoughts. In fact, this is the first time ever since I have been living away from home that I have no desire to return to home. To understand the intensity of my statement, you should know that I have lived two years for study with my friends, that too with the people to whom I have opened to the most. But even while being with them, I had always longed to go home and had always been homesick. But this time something has changed inside me. I think that being here alone is going to be the biggest turning point in my life. And believe me, I will cling to this opportunity. I will not let go of this completely new feeling, or you can call strength, developed inside me.
Let me try to describe the dhoop. It is a cone shaped dried lump probably made up of charcoal and scents combined. The dhoop is sitting inside a clay stand. As I write about it, it is almost completely burnt. But the best visuals happen when it is burning halfway. And the fan is spinning at full speed. You would see the smoke coming from the energy of heat, rising upwards with full vigour but being supressed by the intense wind of the fan. And after that the smoke fights with the wind by virtue of its lightness, it struggles, but rises again, though this time not in a thick and focussed form but diluted and directionless. Even though it is directionless and spread all over the place but it does its work of fragrancing the room more effectively that if the fan was not there. What I mean to say is the idea of the smoke was to reach above and above and eventually it reaches no matter the conditions. For some time, it appears that it has been broken but it goes up eventually.
As I blabber about the smoke, the dhoop has finished burning. Now what has remained is a lump of ash with the same shape as that of the original dhoop. The clay stand is agitated by the seemingly not perceivable heat of the dhoop. The body came with full of latent potential, was ignited by the vigorously burning inspiration which burnt the body as well. The body kept burning with the inspiration as it released its life every moment continuously making the world around it happy, fully knowing that eventually it will be gone as everything eventually vanishes.
But I feel it was the best for the dhoop to be chosen, to be lit, to have aromatized the environment rather than keeping the intense fragrance inside itself. It got liberated from the fragrance which may have suffocated itself because of its concentration in a single small body. The mind seems to also have a fragrance inside it. I think by writing it down I feel somewhat liberated too. Peace!

Fast forward to the present March 30th. We drive up to the mountain again to meet some friends and as soon as we arrive I hear this clunking sound from underneath the car and rendered the car undrivable due to the drive and reverse no longer working and a grinding sound when shifted to park. We got out of the car to look and see if I could see anything under the hood. That’s when my girlfriend froze and said “shhh do you hear that?” I stopped and heard what sounded like an owl but with a humans voice. It sounded like someone chanting, going “Ooooh Oooh”. That’s when we both said nope, got in our friends car and took off. And recently I’ve been getting this feeling that I can’t describe but it feels evil. It’s almost like the feeling of being very awake and feeling fear for what seems like no reason. And then lastnight I fell asleep and had this weird dream about a witch that came to me and someone else I didn’t recognize. The witch, demon or whatever it was then preformed these series of specific hand movements in order to perform some sort of curse. And the other person grabbed a stand up mirror and put it in front of her and we would wind up fighting it and I woke up. And now I’m suddenly sick throwing up immediately after I woke up from the dream. I don’t know if I’m crazy or saw too many movies or what. And on top of this we just found out that the apartment that we lived in at Little Rock Arkansas was completely destroyed by a tornado days prior from our move. Everything just seems suspicious and I typically don’t believe in witchcraft or magic but this is starting to change my mind. 

Nephrolithiasis refers to the presence of stones within the renal pelvis, while urolithiasis refers to stones in the kidney that are localized within the tubular lumen and lower urinary tract or primary bladder stones. Both of which cause Renal Colic to varying amounts.
I have been plaguing with stones for 50 years. Two home based activities have helped me stimulate passage of stones. 1). Use of a impact massager. https://avasreview.com/best-massage-gun. *

1. Aggressive physical movements (Jumping up/down while standing).

(Take care being careful to not apply high amount of pressure with the massage gun. Use the broadest head available.

Idk if this stuff is bad. I'm having issues, but is that stupid? Is it stupid for me to be having these issues?
Plz plz PLZ do not say everyone "reSpOnds to ThIngs diFfErently." Nonetheless, not every feeling is valid, so please be straight up with me lol.
I know this question might seem stupid, or weird, but growing up I was regularly punished severely or shunned for having any negative emotion and showcasing the emotion. I was also regularly told that my problems weren't real. I'll provide examples below!

1. My cousin was my age and forcibly fingered me. I was 10. We did other shit, consensually, I guess, but I did not enjoy myself. My cousin regularly told me how secretive everything was and encouraged me to make videos. When I confronted my cousin about it later they said I was remembering everything completely wrong and that I was a fucking liar.

So this event really sucked. I felt really gross about myself, struggle with boundaries, and had a lot of sexual issues. My mom told me this event "wasn't that serious" and that it could've been so much worse because my cousin was not much older than me.

1. 18 year old reaches out to 15 yr old me to go on "date." When i gets there he pushes me into a car and starts kissing me. I gave him head but then he wont let me leave and keeps making me continue and groping me when im trying to leave. He'd ask if im ok but would twist my arm when i tried to go. i told him i wanted to leave repeatedly. After i left he blocked me on social media and moved to another state. I reported this to the police and they said it was a "mildly serious" case.

So this sucked because I couldn't really date normally for like 4 years, as I was paranoid people were going to take advantage of me, so I thought having sex with people immediately would be easier than being fakely courted to be used. This approach sucked <3
Everything below took place when I was 18, an was a long time ago.

1. im rly high and dont know who i am. i have unprotected creampie sex with a guy while im at least partially passed out. but he did check in with me a lot. we begin dating. He gets obsessive and jealous. He would threaten to hit/rape me if i didn't have sex with him (in a calm voice). He'd also tell me how worthless i was when they cuddled together. But sometimes he'd also be caring and understanding if i didnt want sex. He got very mad at me (we both cheated on each other) and inflicted sexual pain leading to me crying and getting a migraine, then left and cut off contact with me. Though ,he did try to reconnect many times

My assessment: This relationship was not ideal but I feel like I provoked him regularly and intentionally. Honestly for like 4 months I hated speaking because I thought everything I said sounded stupid

1. FWB would randomly take the condom off in the dark without notice. Or he would put it in my ass when i was too high to really respond, but eventually took it out when i told him to.

My assessment: Idk this feels like a mild annoyance.

1. Dude I was hooking up with regularly called me stupid and the r word. He made me have sex without a condom and made me cuddle with him after. He told me he [email protected] me and smiled. the next few days he was really paranoid i would go to the police. he got more sexually vanilla and i got mad at him about this and insulted his manhood

My assessment: Honestly the sex was pretty good so i feel more annoyed than anything. Idk why I'm not more upset. I think he's a gross person but i don't feel particularly wounded

1. Dude took off condom intentionally and finished in me without warning, then stalked me for a bit.

My assessment: Unfortunate and gross.

1. I had a one nights stand and guy demands sex from 11pm-6am and sets timers. He asked so much and i eventually let him do whatever because i was so tired

My assessment: Idk i dont really think about this at all

1. i went to guy's house and he was much uglier in person. I told him previously about bad sexual experiences in a vague way. He's insistent about making out with her immediately and making me get on my knees to blow him. He returns the favor and it wasn't unenjoyable but he grossed me out in general. Guy becomes obsessed with me and also wouldnt leave me alone. i dont think about this a lot but i think its gross

My assessment: I puked a few times the week after this but then largely forgot about it. I think of it more as a gross sexual event. Honestly I find it grosser than a lot of the events where actual force was used against me, for some reason.

1. I I told a guy to stop during sex. He said he just needs "a bit more" but i punch him in the throat instead.

My assessment: It's ok he deserved it lol
10) Guy puts in it when i kept telling him not to without a condom. i got chlamydia.
My assessment: this was really annoying
Conclusion:
I have CPTSD and anti-anxiety medication. I've pretty much accomplished all of my professional goals, have a good relationship, and good friends. I get paranoid and angry on a regular basis. I'm severely socially anxious, sexually anxious (but rely on it), and have severe issues doing household tasks or focusing.

This is me. I forgot my old password so I had to change my username.
This draft isn't really like any of the previous few drafts. Although it might be similar to '84 that had TWO MEGA STARS in it as well as at least 2 more high level HOFers.
This is kinda something where I try to find guys I would like to at least bring in for a work out.
Ironically, whoever drafts Wemby this year (the odds on favorite to be the top pick), MIGHT be in the running to select Bronny James NEXT SEASON (who I still have as my top pick for '24 although I think he is closer to a Tier 2 or Tier 2.5ish level prospect -- with most of the other top guys somewhere in that range, too).
Here it goes -- just a top 14:
And, if I leave anyone out... oops.
​
FINAL FOUR
Amen Thompson (Tier 0.50): A 6'7 Ja Morant? More defense? Yeah, sign me up! And, as I have pointed out, and as someone who pointed out recently (on REAL GM) AT THE VERY LEAST he practices against his twin brother. Assuming, of course, that they actually hold workouts in OTE.
Victor Wembanyama (Tier 0.50): Best big man since Hakeem? If so... that guy would have gone 2 in a redraft.... I think he tightens up his shooting. If he doesn't actually shoot it better, then I think he will just cut down on the misses at some point. Ironically, he probably reminds me MORE of 2 non-Hakeem centers from the '84 draft: Sam Bowie and Sam Perkins. Although, VIDEO GAME 7'5 versions of the two Sams would be a shoo-in for the HOF.
Ausar Thompson (Tier 0.75): just does a lot of stuff at a high level. Comps would be something like Mikal Bridges (who I had 5th in '18), Sidney Moncrieff, Latrell Sprewell, Ron Harper... and that isn't even mentioning God-tier level athletic guards/wings that Ausar could be comped to (on the super duper high end).
Jordan Hawkins (Tier 1.00): The Jordan (Hawkins) Flu Game STILL saw Hawkins hit enough shots to keep the Miami defense honest AND keep the game slightly out of striking distance from THE University of LaranagaVegas. John Starks vibes, BUT this guy doesn't really seem to go on many cold streaks. Just a shooter who has a ton of gravity and strikes fear in the opposing team. Mark Price/Chris Jackson/Reggie MilleSteph Curry vibes.
NEXT FOUR:
Gradey D (Tier 2.00): more of a stand still shooter than Hawkins but Gradey can score off movement too. Chris Mullin vibes. Solid size (even for a 3) and although he is skinny looks like he can fill out a bit. Good off-ball stuff.
Cam Whitmore (Tier 2.50): Someone else said that maybe he should lose a bit of weight and try to play the 2. I agree. I think he could end up being the guy we want Zion Williamson to be. Even a guy several levels below that kind of guy is worth a top 10 pick. I wanna say he reminds me of Mark Aguirre but I was born the same year that Aguirre was drafted.... And by the time I remember him he was FAT (as a member of the Detroit Pistons) before he got REALLY FAT (on the LA Clippers). Maybe Cam Whitmore is the Benjamin Button version of Mark Aguirre. Or, Alternate 1985 Adrian Dantley. Whichever.
Brandon Miller (Tier 2.75): For a shooting forward he didn't make many of them in the Tournament. Which was good news for his attorney but probably bad news for his agent. Reminds me of Willie Burton. That guy had 53 for the Philadelphia 76ers (back when 53 points was still relevant). But, maybe he is just a guy who is OK but then gets STUPID HOT every now and then. This looks about right for NBA JAM MODE Shawne Williams.
Scoot Henderson (Tier 2.75): if he and Pooh Richardson swapped names would anyone notice??? Either way, the Dallas Cowboys maxed out BOTH.
Last Four In (aka the Eff it Tier aka the GM Downloading CareerServicesGPT Tier)
Andre Jackson Jr. (Tier 3.00): explosive, vertically gifted, good intangibles, high energy, decent touch on his passes. IF this guy can get ANY move set he can be the THIRD Thompson Twin (Thompson TRIPLETS?).
Bilal Coulibaly (Tier 3.00): He might be the guy we all think Andre Jackson, Jr. is -- and vice versa.
Ousmane N'Diaye (Tier 3.50): Everyone wants to know who the BEST non-Wemby big man is in this draft, and since they ALL STINK let's just go with the guy we know LEAST about. At some point, being the second best center-ish prospect is gonna be like being the second best place kicker in the NFL Draft... basically, it's gonna be a long weekend!
Keyonte George (Tier 3.50): Could end up being the best combo guard out of Baylor since Sedale Threatt. On the other hand, I think Sedale was picked in the 75th round... which if the 197wtf? year (1980ish) Threatt draft had the SAME FORMAT as the CURRENT NFL draft... Sedale Threatt would STILL be on the board.
Play-In Tier aka the TOO GOOD TO TANK FOR WEMBY/TWINS Tier aka Your Team Accidentally Drafted Walker Kessler
Jarace Walker (Tier 3.50): Same tier as Keyonte George but didn't go to (dang, why did I just NOW think of this meme -- and NOBODY ELSE has before) BAYLOR BAYLOR BAYLOR BAYLOR BAYLOR BAYLOR
Dereck Lively (Tier 3.75): I bet Earl Cureton was pretty pretty good in college. Although Lively is probably closer to one of the Jones' bros. Was Caldwell the good one or was Charles?
Oscar Tshiebwe (Tier 4.00): he can REBOUND.
Jaime Jaquez, Jr. (Tier 4.00): Planet Fitness Jesus looks like he should be a stunt double on a Magic Versus Bird/Showtime Netflix series.

Idk if this stuff is bad. I'm having issues, but is that stupid? Is it stupid for me to be having these issues?
Plz plz PLZ do not say everyone "reSpOnds to ThIngs diFfErently." Nonetheless, not every feeling is valid, so please be straight up with me lol.
I know this question might seem stupid, or weird, but growing up I was regularly punished severely or shunned for having any negative emotion and showcasing the emotion. I was also regularly told that my problems weren't real. I'll provide examples below!

1. My cousin was my age and forcibly fingered me. I was 10. We did other shit, consensually, I guess, but I did not enjoy myself. My cousin regularly told me how secretive everything was and encouraged me to make videos. When I confronted my cousin about it later they said I was remembering everything completely wrong and that I was a fucking liar.

So this event really sucked. I felt really gross about myself, struggle with boundaries, and had a lot of sexual issues. My mom told me this event "wasn't that serious" and that it could've been so much worse because my cousin was not much older than me.

1. 18 year old reaches out to 15 yr old me to go on "date." When i gets there he pushes me into a car and starts kissing me. I gave him head but then he wont let me leave and keeps making me continue and groping me when im trying to leave. He'd ask if im ok but would twist my arm when i tried to go. i told him i wanted to leave repeatedly. After i left he blocked me on social media and moved to another state. I reported this to the police and they said it was a "mildly serious" case.

So this sucked because I couldn't really date normally for like 4 years, as I was paranoid people were going to take advantage of me, so I thought having sex with people immediately would be easier than being fakely courted to be used. This approach sucked <3
Everything below took place when I was 18, an was a long time ago.

1. im rly high and dont know who i am. i have unprotected creampie sex with a guy while im at least partially passed out. but he did check in with me a lot. we begin dating. He gets obsessive and jealous. He would threaten to hit/rape me if i didn't have sex with him (in a calm voice). He'd also tell me how worthless i was when they cuddled together. But sometimes he'd also be caring and understanding if i didnt want sex. He got very mad at me (we both cheated on each other) and inflicted sexual pain leading to me crying and getting a migraine, then left and cut off contact with me. Though ,he did try to reconnect many times

My assessment: This relationship was not ideal but I feel like I provoked him regularly and intentionally. Honestly for like 4 months I hated speaking because I thought everything I said sounded stupid

1. FWB would randomly take the condom off in the dark without notice. Or he would put it in my ass when i was too high to really respond, but eventually took it out when i told him to.

My assessment: Idk this feels like a mild annoyance.

1. Dude I was hooking up with regularly called me stupid and the r word. He made me have sex without a condom and made me cuddle with him after. He told me he [email protected] me and smiled. the next few days he was really paranoid i would go to the police. he got more sexually vanilla and i got mad at him about this and insulted his manhood

My assessment: Honestly the sex was pretty good so i feel more annoyed than anything. Idk why I'm not more upset. I think he's a gross person but i don't feel particularly wounded

1. Dude took off condom intentionally and finished in me without warning, then stalked me for a bit.

My assessment: Unfortunate and gross.

1. I had a one nights stand and guy demands sex from 11pm-6am and sets timers. He asked so much and i eventually let him do whatever because i was so tired

My assessment: Idk i dont really think about this at all

1. i went to guy's house and he was much uglier in person. I told him previously about bad sexual experiences in a vague way. He's insistent about making out with her immediately and making me get on my knees to blow him. He returns the favor and it wasn't unenjoyable but he grossed me out in general. Guy becomes obsessed with me and also wouldnt leave me alone. i dont think about this a lot but i think its gross

My assessment: I puked a few times the week after this but then largely forgot about it. I think of it more as a gross sexual event. Honestly I find it grosser than a lot of the events where actual force was used against me, for some reason.

1. I I told a guy to stop during sex. He said he just needs "a bit more" but i punch him in the throat instead.

My assessment: It's ok he deserved it lol
10) Guy puts in it when i kept telling him not to without a condom. i got chlamydia.
My assessment: this was really annoying
Conclusion:
I have CPTSD and anti-anxiety medication. I've pretty much accomplished all of my professional goals, have a good relationship, and good friends. I get paranoid and angry on a regular basis. I'm severely socially anxious, sexually anxious (but rely on it), and have severe issues doing household tasks or focusing.

Idk if this stuff is bad. I'm having issues, but is that stupid? Is it stupid for me to be having these issues?
Plz plz PLZ do not say everyone "reSpOnds to ThIngs diFfErently." Nonetheless, not every feeling is valid, so please be straight up with me lol.
I know this question might seem stupid, or weird, but growing up I was regularly punished severely or shunned for having any negative emotion and showcasing the emotion. I was also regularly told that my problems weren't real. I'll provide examples below!

1. My cousin was my age and forcibly fingered me. I was 10. We did other shit, consensually, I guess, but I did not enjoy myself. My cousin regularly told me how secretive everything was and encouraged me to make videos. When I confronted my cousin about it later they said I was remembering everything completely wrong and that I was a fucking liar.

So this event really sucked. I felt really gross about myself, struggle with boundaries, and had a lot of sexual issues. My mom told me this event "wasn't that serious" and that it could've been so much worse because my cousin was not much older than me.

1. 18 year old reaches out to 15 yr old me to go on "date." When i gets there he pushes me into a car and starts kissing me. I gave him head but then he wont let me leave and keeps making me continue and groping me when im trying to leave. He'd ask if im ok but would twist my arm when i tried to go. i told him i wanted to leave repeatedly. After i left he blocked me on social media and moved to another state. I reported this to the police and they said it was a "mildly serious" case.

So this sucked because I couldn't really date normally for like 4 years, as I was paranoid people were going to take advantage of me, so I thought having sex with people immediately would be easier than being fakely courted to be used. This approach sucked <3
Everything below took place when I was 18, an was a long time ago.

1. im rly high and dont know who i am. i have unprotected creampie sex with a guy while im at least partially passed out. but he did check in with me a lot. we begin dating. He gets obsessive and jealous. He would threaten to hit/rape me if i didn't have sex with him (in a calm voice). He'd also tell me how worthless i was when they cuddled together. But sometimes he'd also be caring and understanding if i didnt want sex. He got very mad at me (we both cheated on each other) and inflicted sexual pain leading to me crying and getting a migraine, then left and cut off contact with me. Though ,he did try to reconnect many times

My assessment: This relationship was not ideal but I feel like I provoked him regularly and intentionally. Honestly for like 4 months I hated speaking because I thought everything I said sounded stupid

1. FWB would randomly take the condom off in the dark without notice. Or he would put it in my ass when i was too high to really respond, but eventually took it out when i told him to.

My assessment: Idk this feels like a mild annoyance.

1. Dude I was hooking up with regularly called me stupid and the r word. He made me have sex without a condom and made me cuddle with him after. He told me he [email protected] me and smiled. the next few days he was really paranoid i would go to the police. he got more sexually vanilla and i got mad at him about this and insulted his manhood

My assessment: Honestly the sex was pretty good so i feel more annoyed than anything. Idk why I'm not more upset. I think he's a gross person but i don't feel particularly wounded

1. Dude took off condom intentionally and finished in me without warning, then stalked me for a bit.

My assessment: Unfortunate and gross.

1. I had a one nights stand and guy demands sex from 11pm-6am and sets timers. He asked so much and i eventually let him do whatever because i was so tired

My assessment: Idk i dont really think about this at all

1. i went to guy's house and he was much uglier in person. I told him previously about bad sexual experiences in a vague way. He's insistent about making out with her immediately and making me get on my knees to blow him. He returns the favor and it wasn't unenjoyable but he grossed me out in general. Guy becomes obsessed with me and also wouldnt leave me alone. i dont think about this a lot but i think its gross

My assessment: I puked a few times the week after this but then largely forgot about it. I think of it more as a gross sexual event. Honestly I find it grosser than a lot of the events where actual force was used against me, for some reason.

1. I I told a guy to stop during sex. He said he just needs "a bit more" but i punch him in the throat instead.

My assessment: It's ok he deserved it lol
10) Guy puts in it when i kept telling him not to without a condom. i got chlamydia.
My assessment: this was really annoying
Conclusion:
I have CPTSD and anti-anxiety medication. I've pretty much accomplished all of my professional goals, have a good relationship, and good friends. I get paranoid and angry on a regular basis. I'm severely socially anxious, sexually anxious (but rely on it), and have severe issues doing household tasks or focusing.

Idk if this stuff is bad. I'm having issues, but is that stupid? Is it stupid for me to be having these issues?
Plz plz PLZ do not say everyone "reSpOnds to ThIngs diFfErently." Nonetheless, not every feeling is valid, so please be straight up with me lol.
I know this question might seem stupid, or weird, but growing up I was regularly punished severely or shunned for having any negative emotion and showcasing the emotion. I was also regularly told that my problems weren't real. I'll provide examples below!

1. My cousin was my age and forcibly fingered me. I was 10. We did other shit, consensually, I guess, but I did not enjoy myself. My cousin regularly told me how secretive everything was and encouraged me to make videos. When I confronted my cousin about it later they said I was remembering everything completely wrong and that I was a fucking liar.

So this event really sucked. I felt really gross about myself, struggle with boundaries, and had a lot of sexual issues. My mom told me this event "wasn't that serious" and that it could've been so much worse because my cousin was not much older than me.

1. 18 year old reaches out to 15 yr old me to go on "date." When i gets there he pushes me into a car and starts kissing me. I gave him head but then he wont let me leave and keeps making me continue and groping me when im trying to leave. He'd ask if im ok but would twist my arm when i tried to go. i told him i wanted to leave repeatedly. After i left he blocked me on social media and moved to another state. I reported this to the police and they said it was a "mildly serious" case.

So this sucked because I couldn't really date normally for like 4 years, as I was paranoid people were going to take advantage of me, so I thought having sex with people immediately would be easier than being fakely courted to be used. This approach sucked <3
Everything below took place when I was 18, an was a long time ago.

1. im rly high and dont know who i am. i have unprotected creampie sex with a guy while im at least partially passed out. but he did check in with me a lot. we begin dating. He gets obsessive and jealous. He would threaten to hit/rape me if i didn't have sex with him (in a calm voice). He'd also tell me how worthless i was when they cuddled together. But sometimes he'd also be caring and understanding if i didnt want sex. He got very mad at me (we both cheated on each other) and inflicted sexual pain leading to me crying and getting a migraine, then left and cut off contact with me. Though ,he did try to reconnect many times

My assessment: This relationship was not ideal but I feel like I provoked him regularly and intentionally. Honestly for like 4 months I hated speaking because I thought everything I said sounded stupid

1. FWB would randomly take the condom off in the dark without notice. Or he would put it in my ass when i was too high to really respond, but eventually took it out when i told him to.

My assessment: Idk this feels like a mild annoyance.

1. Dude I was hooking up with regularly called me stupid and the r word. He made me have sex without a condom and made me cuddle with him after. He told me he [email protected] me and smiled. the next few days he was really paranoid i would go to the police. he got more sexually vanilla and i got mad at him about this and insulted his manhood

My assessment: Honestly the sex was pretty good so i feel more annoyed than anything. Idk why I'm not more upset. I think he's a gross person but i don't feel particularly wounded

1. Dude took off condom intentionally and finished in me without warning, then stalked me for a bit.

My assessment: Unfortunate and gross.

1. I had a one nights stand and guy demands sex from 11pm-6am and sets timers. He asked so much and i eventually let him do whatever because i was so tired

My assessment: Idk i dont really think about this at all

1. i went to guy's house and he was much uglier in person. I told him previously about bad sexual experiences in a vague way. He's insistent about making out with her immediately and making me get on my knees to blow him. He returns the favor and it wasn't unenjoyable but he grossed me out in general. Guy becomes obsessed with me and also wouldnt leave me alone. i dont think about this a lot but i think its gross

My assessment: I puked a few times the week after this but then largely forgot about it. I think of it more as a gross sexual event. Honestly I find it grosser than a lot of the events where actual force was used against me, for some reason.

1. I I told a guy to stop during sex. He said he just needs "a bit more" but i punch him in the throat instead.

My assessment: It's ok he deserved it lol
10) Guy puts in it when i kept telling him not to without a condom. i got chlamydia.
My assessment: this was really annoying
Conclusion:
I have CPTSD and anti-anxiety medication. I've pretty much accomplished all of my professional goals, have a good relationship, and good friends. I get paranoid and angry on a regular basis. I'm severely socially anxious, sexually anxious (but rely on it), and have severe issues doing household tasks or focusing.

Hello, here to seek advice and also, perhaps, share a warning of something that happened in our community.
It was about 5:25pm on Tuesday 3/28 when I looked down at my phone. My beautiful and amazing wife was calling but my phone was on silent. She was at a hair appointment and I was surprised it was already over. I swiped to answer and simultaneously noticed she had tried to call me 5 previous times within the last minute. What I heard on the other end, I never want hear again... ever. She was crying hysterically, screaming "Come, Help ME! He cut my hair! He cut my hair! Call 911!" Immediately, I was grabbing my keys and running to my truck. "I'm coming honey, I'm on my way!," I exclaimed. I hung up and started dialing 911.
.............................
My wife's hair was 32inches from the top of her head to her butt. It would be what a hair stylist would call "Extra-Long". We have recently moved to Temecula, so she was visiting a new stylist; one she had scoped out. He had good reviews, good prices, and had many photos of hair colored the way she was looking for- dark brown base with blonde streaks. She has had it this way as long as I've known her. She doesn't do much for herself, so when she gets her hair colored every 4 months, it is a big deal.
She met with the stylist for a consultation, and he said he could and would provide the service she was looking for, and that she would be very happy with the outcome. So, on the day of the appointment she sat in his chair for 2 hours as he performed his hair services, chatting about things as most would during a hair appointment. They spoke of family, Faith, and the community. He mentioned that he had been in business for 40 years, and that he has had 5 previous shops. She was undoubtedly excited about how her hair was going to turn out.
When the color treatment was over, he began to wash her out in his sink. He told her that he had never had someone in his chair with hair as long as hers and asked her if she wanted a cut. She quickly said no, as she hardly ever cuts it. So, they moved back to the chair and he pulled out the mirror. She saw the color was absolutely not what she wanted. Her hair was very dark, with blue/gray streaks all throughout. She told him, "this isn't good, this isn't what I wanted." She asked if would re-do it. He was reluctant and responded with hostility. He started grabbing at her and taking a hot straight iron to her hair. "You'll see, you'll see," he expressed. She said "no, please re-do it." Angerly and still grabbing at her, he said "You want me to re-do it, pay me $500, Zelle, now!" Even though the initial visit was going to be $160, and $500 is way more than she would ever pay normally, at this point she would pay anything not to leave the salon in this fashion. She said "fine, do whatever you need to do." Before she could pay him, however, she became scared.
He was standing over her, aggressive and tense, and in her close proximity. "It will be fine, you'll see," he continued. She needed to escape, so she stood up and just like that, he grabbed his scissors, reached and cut at her hair. She looked down and saw a lot of her hair on the ground. "WHY did you do that!?!," she screamed. "I smelled trouble," he said. She gathered her things and ran for the door and fell to the sidewalk outside his shop, crying and screaming hysterically. The man followed her, untied and pulled his apron off of her. At some point, he told her "you don't like it, sue me!" and ran back in and locked his shop doors.
She called me at this moment, and I drove as fast as I could around the corner to the shopping center. I was speaking to 911 dispatchers and explaining that the stylist had just assaulted her and she was in dire need of help. I found her on the ground, absolutely distraught. This beautiful woman did not deserve this. I held her as she cried. I looked up and saw this man in his shop, taking pictures or recording video with his cell phone through the glass walls. My wife asked me where the police were, so I tried to call again. The dispatcher said they were on their way and be patient. I went to the window to yell at the man. We were 2 feet from each other, separated by glass. Since he had locked his doors, I couldn't go in. So, I was telling him "come out, the police are coming and are going to want to talk to you!" But he wouldn't come out. Lucky for him because I would have gladly opened up a can for messing with my wife. I said "why did you do this?" and he said, "because she wouldn't pay!" I pulled out my wallet and said "you want money? you would hurt a woman, for money? you are evil and have evil in your heart." He could obviously care less as I watched him sweep my wife's hair from under his chair, bag it up, and walk out the back door of his shop.
Riverside County Sheriff's Deputies arrived and assisted my wife. They took a statement from her and were kind and professional the whole time. They took photos of the damages. This man had cut over 12 inches of her hair off! They explained that even if he thought she was leaving without paying, he couldn't legally cut her hair like that. They left us with a card and a case number and explained that we could call the DA's office in about a week to see how the charges were going. And then they left.
...............................
And here we are. My beautiful, lovely and amazing wife is so distraught. It's been 4 days. She's waking up crying. She's sad and feels the pain from the trauma all day. She's emotionally devastated. We each missed work the following day as she saw another hair stylist to fix what could be fixed. But she doesn't feel okay. She's reached out for therapy. We've called lawyers for legal consultation and have learned that we can seek criminal action against him, which we've already started by pressing charges. We've learned that we can civilly sue him, but every personal injury lawyer we've talked to has said this is unique and not worth it for them to take on. They all say the same thing, that there is a lawyer out there that will, but that they don't have the bandwidth for something like this. They all tell us that we can, at last resort, take him and his business to small claims court. Which may likely be what we do.
I filed a complaint on the CA State Board of Cosmetology and Barbering explaining everything mentioned here. Hopefully, that at least helps to not renew his license.
But, retribution is necessary here. Someway, somehow. I want to see my wife feel whole again. This woman is an angel. She cares for disabled adults and hardly does anything nice for herself. She is her children's whole world and mine too. She deserves retribution for this pain inflicted by this monster.
Any advice on what we should do? Has anyone ever gone through something similar?

I am honestly at a rock bottom in my life, but among the rocks I believe I can still find the philosophers stone.
I'm 32, live in Maryland, am pansexual, mom with the mombod to show it, and while I do get every other weekend with my kids their dad has custody. My mental health was used against me, but I'm not a deadbeat, I simply beat death by trying to get help for my severe post partum.
I am ADHD af and have dyspraxia which is considered part of the autism spectrum. Therapists and exes disagree on whether I am also borderline or bi polar. I'd rather just blame my mood swings on the phases of the moon like the basic witch bitch I am.
Anyway, I am on disability and I'm not white trash. I'm just a garbage person trying to re-emerge as a dumpster fire phoenix.
My special interests include astrology, tarot, conspiracy theories, trashy reality tv, 420, anything involving the occult or paganism, and korean BBQ. My sense of humor is dark af, and I also perform stand up comedy and even though I love telling/writing jokes, I am bad at getting other people's jokes and picking up social cues in general, so please keep that in mind. I honestly use the archetypal symbolism of astrological signs as a way of understanding people because being neurodivergent often makes me feel literally alien. and the zodiac gives me a basic blue print to understand humans.
I am doing my first amateur paranormal investigation/ghost hunt on Monday and if you have any experience with actual ghosts not just tinder ghosts I'd love to hear!
I am an Aquarius sun, Aries moon, Leo rising, and Pisces venus if that matters to anyone lmao. Message me if you like tarot, trees and trauma bonding!