Regency hotel near me
Northern California Prospecting Buddy
2023.06.08 20:17 CraftyCrowGal Northern California Prospecting Buddy
Hey y'all I am located near Sacramento and I am looking for a prospecting buddy. I normally go it alone but the high water this year has me a bit concerned about safety. DM me if you'd be down to pan together! (Sorry if this is the wrong place for this kind of post)
submitted by CraftyCrowGal to Prospecting [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 20:16 Hour_Succotash_4739 Women are kinda delusional hypocrites
Remember that little #menaretrash temper tantrum some women threw online a little while back where they just shit on and generalized men? And when they were call out on it they cried about male fragility and all that nonsense? And then a bunch of other women tried defending that shit saying the typical "It's not the same" bullshit response. Then, when some men started using #womenaretrash, OH HO, did hey not like that. Hypocrisy.
Oh, and never insinuate that a women could be bad at sex. "all women are awesome at sex!" is a comment I've heard quite a few times, both online and irl. Sorry, ladies, but there are just as many of you who suck in bed as there are men :( No, your presence is not nearly enough, no you do not "bring the table". I mean, Christ, You see all this shit about how men have to do better, well I say so do women. Some of them seem to be under the impression that they're all poor innocent oppressed victims (No one in the first world is oppressed, btw), and it's pathetic.
Clearly I could have presented this in a much longer, detailed format, with the post listing other than two gripes, but I honestly decided to type this up on a whim, plus these are the only two things that currently come to mind. Feel free to comment "incel" this and "misogyny" that for me making a general criticism of women, but, it's not going to change the point.
submitted by Hour_Succotash_4739 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
Oh, and never insinuate that a women could be bad at sex. "all women are awesome at sex!" is a comment I've heard quite a few times, both online and irl. Sorry, ladies, but there are just as many of you who suck in bed as there are men :( No, your presence is not nearly enough, no you do not "bring the table". I mean, Christ, You see all this shit about how men have to do better, well I say so do women. Some of them seem to be under the impression that they're all poor innocent oppressed victims (No one in the first world is oppressed, btw), and it's pathetic.
Clearly I could have presented this in a much longer, detailed format, with the post listing other than two gripes, but I honestly decided to type this up on a whim, plus these are the only two things that currently come to mind. Feel free to comment "incel" this and "misogyny" that for me making a general criticism of women, but, it's not going to change the point.
2023.06.08 20:15 argumenthaver Now Even Matt Walsh is Dunking on Pearl
 | submitted by argumenthaver to Destiny [link] [comments] |
2023.06.08 20:13 Kahzgul [Near As I Can Tell...] Priorities, People! (A Youngling's Illustrated Primer)
Hello.
My name is Kahzgul. You may know me from my shockingly above average conquest guide, the incredible seething hatred I hold for the Inquisitorus faction, or that one time I opened up photoshop just to shit on CG'sart team underpaid and overworked intern.
But I'm not here to talk to you about that today.
No, I'm here to speak to all of the young men, women, and bith of the SWGoH community, and to help you help yourself when it comes to determining what to farm, when to farm it, and whether blue or green milk tastes better (it's green; I'll explain why later).
You see, every day, a little boy or girl posts something that asks the question, "should I farm this (endgame content)?" And I have been moved by their plight. There is no greater good than that of a good soldier following orders, and second to that, love of the empire, but third - a distant third - is raising the younglings to become powerful sand people, in their prime, ready to take on the OH GOD IT'S ANAKIN AND WHAT IS HE DOI---
I'm sorry about that. The previous writer has been sacked. Or, rather, diced into tiny barbecue squares by a bloodthirsty jedi master, who - despite his great acumen - was not granted a seat on the council. Quite unfair. If something like that were to happen to me, well, I'm quite sure I'd team up with the wrinkliest old fart I could find and straight murder everyone in one of those school lightsaberings you read about in the news. Can you believe we're up to nearly 2 lightsaberings per day? It's absurd. This entire republic is rotten to the core and you can just feel the need for a strong leader to step in, impose a military dictatorship, and start blowing up entire planets. Did you know my sister lives on Alderaan? I think that's where we should st---
Sorry about that. That writer has also been sacked. And the person responsible for the first sacking was also sacked. What we were trying to do was to answer the question: Should i farm this very expensive shiny new endgame content with my brand new account that doesn't even have CLS unlocked yet?
The answer to this question is, as you probably expect, a long winded parable about some nonsense or other that has nothing to do with anything and serves no purpose at all excepting to remind you that the author has recently been watching an awful lot of Monty Python and that this is, in fact, and ex-parrot.
Actually, the answer is another question:
Should you, who earns only $36,000 per year, buy your 15 year old with their learner's permit a ferrari as their first car?
Of course you should! N't. You shouldn't.
That joke works better if you say it out loud. Like that joke where the guy goes to the doctor and says he's got a penis stuck in his throat and the doctor says how do you know and the guy says well look and then you rub through adam's apple a bunch and spit on your friend to whom you're telling the joke. Text just doesn't do it justice.
So, and now we've finally arrived at the helpful guide portion of this ramble, how is one to determine for themselves whether or not they should farm something? The self-determination part is really important. I like to live by this age-old adage: If you give a man a fire, he's warm for a night, but if you set him on fire he's warm for the rest of his life.
The answer is that, much like an elderly politician of your choosing's undergarments, it depends.
CG has, over the years, released three type of shiny and new things:
- One is what I'll call the "Jedi Knight Revan" style of new thing. 5 brand new characters come out who are required to get a 6th brand new and powerful character. Darth Revan, Starkiller, Dr. Aphra, and the soon-to-be-arriving Jedi Cal Kestis are all good examples of this sort of release. You can go after these right away if you like. There's no real barrier to entry and you can get something shiny and new out of the investment.
- The second is the "The Solo Movie" style of thing. Sometimes CG just adds some shit and it sucks ass for a really long time. Rogue One (okay now thanks to AdRad but that was several years later), Young Han Solo and friends (nest was cool), the Inks when they first came out and really even still if you're not at the point where you can get GI or Reva... stuff like that.
- And the third is the "Jedi Master Luke" style of thing. MOST of the shiny and new things CG adds build off of other things that were, at one time, shiny and new all on their own. These things are pretty easy for older players to go after because they already have all of the earlier requirements completed, but new players are going to find that earning this sort of thing is nigh impossible. I mean you need JKL which means you need the Wampa... Sometimes the chains of requirements are quite long.
For example, Leviathan needs you to have the Fury-Class Interceptor, which needs Malgus to pilot it, both of which need you to have been near max-crating conquest for a long time, which means you're well over 4M GP and don't need this guide anyway (but if you read this far, please know that I appreciate you more than padme appreciated Keira Knightley).
So what I'm saying is, the journey guide isn't particularly good at telling you whether a farm is reasonable or not. Some farms require r8 and r9 characters, and those are hard to get for people who are in 300M GP guilds, let alone people who aren't sure if a 20M GP guild will take them (sorry, egnards; we're really looking for someone with a 7 star lobot for DS Hoth platoons).
This game is a game about patience, first and foremost. It's also a game about space lasers and butchering amazing music by changing the song every time a button is pressed (which de facto makes it a game about turning off the sound of the game entirely). And it's a game about investment.
Where do you get the best return on investment for your limited resources?
Almost never farm new and shiny things. I don't care how candy-like the red button looks, Ren and Stimpy absolutely will not - oh. He pressed it. Well, if you have the impulse control of an anthropomorphic cartoon cat drawn by an army of lunatics balls deep in LSD, you should call 1-800-GAMBLER and seek help. I've heard 1 in 10 people who calls that number wins a prize! Also I can sing the entire "Log™" song from memory, which probably tells you a lot about the sort of person I am.
Your best return is going to be going for things that were new and shiny about a year ago, and it will remain your best return right up until you start running out of things to farm that fit that description (several years from now). Now, even that description leaves a w i d e array of things you could be going after. So which to choose? Well, with an eye towards the distant future, I recommend going after characters and ships first, and gear second. A roster with every character at 7 stars and G1 is better in my mind than one with five characters at r9 and no one else unlocked (although if you had everyone at G1 and 7 stars you're certainly cheating so... grain of salt). Characters who unlock other characters should be prioritized over ones who just sit there looking stupid (or, in CUP's case, being a badass meme guy).
If you're slightly farther along, I'd say it's time to start thinking about how you catch up to the power curve of the game. Think of the curve as a wave you're trying to surf. You gotta paddle a bit to catch it, but once you do... you're golden. So you have to know where the wave is going to form, right? You can't just start surfing when you're still on the beach. That's lame. So you're going to want to get characters who get you more characters so you can hopefully get even more characters in the future.
There are two places to do that more than any other: Fleet Arena, where you earn daily crystals, which let you do more energy refreshes so you can earn more characters, and Conquest, where you earn new and shiny characters loooong before they're available to people who aren't maxing conquest every time. And the good news is that there's some overlap there - the fleet arena for newer players can be well handled by Executor, which needs Piett to pilot, and Piett is a key part of the Imp Trooper conquest team (Veers / Piett / Starck / Gideon / Range) which is all supports and runs a nasty turn meter train (and also can be used to complete not one but two Assault Battle events that reward relic mats and shards and stuff).
You'll need to buy one set of relic 8 materials with crystals, probably. So save up a few!
If you've got executor, then I recommend going after JML and Wat next. That combo (along with the reqs for JML) enables a LOT of cheese strategies in conquest. All of this will also help your GAC success.
If you've hit these benchmarks, then you've probably done enough that you have a sense of where your roster could benefit more. Remember to keep in mind "how does this help me get more characters" and you'll find you're doing very well.
TL;DR: Plan on being a year or more behind the release schedule of new characters, and you'll be able to stay astride of your fleet shard while climbing GAC ranks and prepping to dominate conquest when you get to 4M GP. Don't buy CG's marketing hype; take a "wait and see" approach to new characters and let the whales figure out who is good and who isn't before you spend time and energy on them.
submitted by Kahzgul to SWGalaxyOfHeroes [link] [comments]
My name is Kahzgul. You may know me from my shockingly above average conquest guide, the incredible seething hatred I hold for the Inquisitorus faction, or that one time I opened up photoshop just to shit on CG's
But I'm not here to talk to you about that today.
No, I'm here to speak to all of the young men, women, and bith of the SWGoH community, and to help you help yourself when it comes to determining what to farm, when to farm it, and whether blue or green milk tastes better (it's green; I'll explain why later).
You see, every day, a little boy or girl posts something that asks the question, "should I farm this (endgame content)?" And I have been moved by their plight. There is no greater good than that of a good soldier following orders, and second to that, love of the empire, but third - a distant third - is raising the younglings to become powerful sand people, in their prime, ready to take on the OH GOD IT'S ANAKIN AND WHAT IS HE DOI---
I'm sorry about that. The previous writer has been sacked. Or, rather, diced into tiny barbecue squares by a bloodthirsty jedi master, who - despite his great acumen - was not granted a seat on the council. Quite unfair. If something like that were to happen to me, well, I'm quite sure I'd team up with the wrinkliest old fart I could find and straight murder everyone in one of those school lightsaberings you read about in the news. Can you believe we're up to nearly 2 lightsaberings per day? It's absurd. This entire republic is rotten to the core and you can just feel the need for a strong leader to step in, impose a military dictatorship, and start blowing up entire planets. Did you know my sister lives on Alderaan? I think that's where we should st---
Sorry about that. That writer has also been sacked. And the person responsible for the first sacking was also sacked. What we were trying to do was to answer the question: Should i farm this very expensive shiny new endgame content with my brand new account that doesn't even have CLS unlocked yet?
The answer to this question is, as you probably expect, a long winded parable about some nonsense or other that has nothing to do with anything and serves no purpose at all excepting to remind you that the author has recently been watching an awful lot of Monty Python and that this is, in fact, and ex-parrot.
Actually, the answer is another question:
Should you, who earns only $36,000 per year, buy your 15 year old with their learner's permit a ferrari as their first car?
Of course you should! N't. You shouldn't.
That joke works better if you say it out loud. Like that joke where the guy goes to the doctor and says he's got a penis stuck in his throat and the doctor says how do you know and the guy says well look and then you rub through adam's apple a bunch and spit on your friend to whom you're telling the joke. Text just doesn't do it justice.
So, and now we've finally arrived at the helpful guide portion of this ramble, how is one to determine for themselves whether or not they should farm something? The self-determination part is really important. I like to live by this age-old adage: If you give a man a fire, he's warm for a night, but if you set him on fire he's warm for the rest of his life.
The answer is that, much like an elderly politician of your choosing's undergarments, it depends.
CG has, over the years, released three type of shiny and new things:
- One is what I'll call the "Jedi Knight Revan" style of new thing. 5 brand new characters come out who are required to get a 6th brand new and powerful character. Darth Revan, Starkiller, Dr. Aphra, and the soon-to-be-arriving Jedi Cal Kestis are all good examples of this sort of release. You can go after these right away if you like. There's no real barrier to entry and you can get something shiny and new out of the investment.
- The second is the "The Solo Movie" style of thing. Sometimes CG just adds some shit and it sucks ass for a really long time. Rogue One (okay now thanks to AdRad but that was several years later), Young Han Solo and friends (nest was cool), the Inks when they first came out and really even still if you're not at the point where you can get GI or Reva... stuff like that.
- And the third is the "Jedi Master Luke" style of thing. MOST of the shiny and new things CG adds build off of other things that were, at one time, shiny and new all on their own. These things are pretty easy for older players to go after because they already have all of the earlier requirements completed, but new players are going to find that earning this sort of thing is nigh impossible. I mean you need JKL which means you need the Wampa... Sometimes the chains of requirements are quite long.
For example, Leviathan needs you to have the Fury-Class Interceptor, which needs Malgus to pilot it, both of which need you to have been near max-crating conquest for a long time, which means you're well over 4M GP and don't need this guide anyway (but if you read this far, please know that I appreciate you more than padme appreciated Keira Knightley).
So what I'm saying is, the journey guide isn't particularly good at telling you whether a farm is reasonable or not. Some farms require r8 and r9 characters, and those are hard to get for people who are in 300M GP guilds, let alone people who aren't sure if a 20M GP guild will take them (sorry, egnards; we're really looking for someone with a 7 star lobot for DS Hoth platoons).
This game is a game about patience, first and foremost. It's also a game about space lasers and butchering amazing music by changing the song every time a button is pressed (which de facto makes it a game about turning off the sound of the game entirely). And it's a game about investment.
Where do you get the best return on investment for your limited resources?
Almost never farm new and shiny things. I don't care how candy-like the red button looks, Ren and Stimpy absolutely will not - oh. He pressed it. Well, if you have the impulse control of an anthropomorphic cartoon cat drawn by an army of lunatics balls deep in LSD, you should call 1-800-GAMBLER and seek help. I've heard 1 in 10 people who calls that number wins a prize! Also I can sing the entire "Log™" song from memory, which probably tells you a lot about the sort of person I am.
Your best return is going to be going for things that were new and shiny about a year ago, and it will remain your best return right up until you start running out of things to farm that fit that description (several years from now). Now, even that description leaves a w i d e array of things you could be going after. So which to choose? Well, with an eye towards the distant future, I recommend going after characters and ships first, and gear second. A roster with every character at 7 stars and G1 is better in my mind than one with five characters at r9 and no one else unlocked (although if you had everyone at G1 and 7 stars you're certainly cheating so... grain of salt). Characters who unlock other characters should be prioritized over ones who just sit there looking stupid (or, in CUP's case, being a badass meme guy).
If you're slightly farther along, I'd say it's time to start thinking about how you catch up to the power curve of the game. Think of the curve as a wave you're trying to surf. You gotta paddle a bit to catch it, but once you do... you're golden. So you have to know where the wave is going to form, right? You can't just start surfing when you're still on the beach. That's lame. So you're going to want to get characters who get you more characters so you can hopefully get even more characters in the future.
There are two places to do that more than any other: Fleet Arena, where you earn daily crystals, which let you do more energy refreshes so you can earn more characters, and Conquest, where you earn new and shiny characters loooong before they're available to people who aren't maxing conquest every time. And the good news is that there's some overlap there - the fleet arena for newer players can be well handled by Executor, which needs Piett to pilot, and Piett is a key part of the Imp Trooper conquest team (Veers / Piett / Starck / Gideon / Range) which is all supports and runs a nasty turn meter train (and also can be used to complete not one but two Assault Battle events that reward relic mats and shards and stuff).
You'll need to buy one set of relic 8 materials with crystals, probably. So save up a few!
If you've got executor, then I recommend going after JML and Wat next. That combo (along with the reqs for JML) enables a LOT of cheese strategies in conquest. All of this will also help your GAC success.
If you've hit these benchmarks, then you've probably done enough that you have a sense of where your roster could benefit more. Remember to keep in mind "how does this help me get more characters" and you'll find you're doing very well.
TL;DR: Plan on being a year or more behind the release schedule of new characters, and you'll be able to stay astride of your fleet shard while climbing GAC ranks and prepping to dominate conquest when you get to 4M GP. Don't buy CG's marketing hype; take a "wait and see" approach to new characters and let the whales figure out who is good and who isn't before you spend time and energy on them.
2023.06.08 20:13 ImCzech001 My show & tell expirience.
Well i am a student at a special school. One day our class told our teacher: Miss? Can we have a Show&Talk please?. She immediatly fell in love with that idea, so the next day we bringed our things to talk about. The first part of the day was kind of stressful, so ill write it too. In the morning i realised that we had a show and tell thing going on. I was in a hurry to find a thing to show, but everything was boring and un-entertaining. As i dug through my cabinets i found my old furby called "CoCo". (Probbably a heeps common name). I smashed it into my backpack and ran to the busd stop. I bought a ticket for something around a quarter of a dollar and sat near the window.
At school everybody was flexing their stuff, but i kept mine in my backpack. The english lesson starts and our teacher goes: Today we have a "Show&Tell"! We willl start by....Anne!. Me as the last kid from the class immediatly knew that i will be last. After severral stupid toys i come to shine.
Hello there my stupid classmates, i say loudly so everybody hears me Today im going to show a very interesting toy of mine. A FURBY!. Everybody gasped, and i told them how my great aunt bought it for me only a month before her death.
As i continue the Furby starts to make some weird noise, that soon developed into a full-on furby death screech. We put it on the window, and close it so we can continue our, now boring, lesson.
At random there is a FHAGGING hurricane outside, and my furby, still sits out there.
The worst part was, when my furby started moving, and fell onto ground, from the 3rd floor.
We ran out of the building, just to find it broken in pieces.
We NEVER had a Show&Tell after....
submitted by ImCzech001 to stories [link] [comments]
At school everybody was flexing their stuff, but i kept mine in my backpack. The english lesson starts and our teacher goes: Today we have a "Show&Tell"! We willl start by....Anne!. Me as the last kid from the class immediatly knew that i will be last. After severral stupid toys i come to shine.
Hello there my stupid classmates, i say loudly so everybody hears me Today im going to show a very interesting toy of mine. A FURBY!. Everybody gasped, and i told them how my great aunt bought it for me only a month before her death.
As i continue the Furby starts to make some weird noise, that soon developed into a full-on furby death screech. We put it on the window, and close it so we can continue our, now boring, lesson.
At random there is a FHAGGING hurricane outside, and my furby, still sits out there.
The worst part was, when my furby started moving, and fell onto ground, from the 3rd floor.
We ran out of the building, just to find it broken in pieces.
We NEVER had a Show&Tell after....
2023.06.08 20:13 fascia_master Grievance toward Zeel
 | Does anyone else have a severe issue with how Zeel treats you? Do you also feel like they take the side of the Spa they ghost staff? submitted by fascia_master to MassageTherapists [link] [comments] I was at the Asbury Ocean Club Spa in Nj. I arrived 15 minutes early for my 10 am. No free parking, so I had to pay $6. Fine. I’m upstairs and ready to start and the manager came in the break room and asked for me and my partner to start 15 minutes late. Another therapist was late, so the couples room wasn’t available. I said sure. I didn’t want to screw over the nice couple who had also been on time. At the end of the session, I upped it to 75 minutes, even though I had been “on the clock” for 80. When I looked at my payout, it was back to 60. I complained to Zeel. They were intolerable. They weren’t my advocate for fair pay. They backed the multi million dollar corporation and said I had no right to ask for more pay. What? My time isn’t valued by them I guess. They then had the audacity to say “do you have the request to extend in writing?” I lost my mind and called out their BS. As if ANY client has EVER given written authorization for a time extension. I let it go. A few days later I’m checking in with a different spa about my appointment tomorrow… “they’ve replaced you with another therapist” What?! Zero notice to me, again showing me how little respect they have for the therapists. Spa charges $190. I get $77, Zeel gets $50. Spa keeps the rest. It’s a crappy percentage considering WE are the reason people come to a spa. I’m on a forced boycott, but I invite you to join me. Why should an app make $50 or more for every appointment. Why wouldn’t the therapist be paid a fair rate and the app collect a small service fee. We are being taken advantage of and should take back our money. |
2023.06.08 20:12 theplasticfantasty I need to quit but I am stuck
I'm just so burnt out. I am not myself anymore, this job has taken everything out of me and I have actually come to hate it. I want to quit but I don't know where to go from here. I have no college education (nor do I have any money to currently enroll) so I don't have a degree that will be useful anywhere, and because of sunk cost fallacy and all the time and money I've spent furthering my career in ECE I feel like I have to stick to an ECE job otherwise I've wasted so much. There are no open positions near me that will pay what I'm currently making, though, and that's what's keeping me here - I am the sole provider in my household and I have a mortgage to pay. I'm trapped and I don't know what to do
submitted by theplasticfantasty to ECEProfessionals [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 20:12 rooferinirvine Have Your Damage Roof?
 | You can follow the following steps to resolve the broken roof: submitted by rooferinirvine to u/rooferinirvine [link] [comments] Choose a Professional: Contact a good and skilled roofing professional or company. Visit various of their professionals and learn about their experience, quality of work, and previous work. Determine the professional's skills and expertise in the repair. Analyze the problem: Determine how the roof is damaged and which part needs repair. You can ask a roofing professional to inspect your roof and help determine the problem. Plan repairs: Create a repair plan. It requires equipment, schedule, and repair of metal. #california #irvine #roofing #roofinstallation #RoofRepairNearMe #roofingexperts #roofingservices #roofingcontractor #roofingcompany https://preview.redd.it/yrhr961q4u4b1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c2394e832f93fc156b43f28fa62ef59c26d8a044 |
2023.06.08 20:12 Venterbrau 25 nb, saw that a friend is hanging out with someone that really hurt me in the past and I can't pull myself out of this insecurity
TW: MENTION OF SF HM, TRAUMA, GENERAL ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION
So a friend of mine who was in the year above me at university and that I keep up with pretty closely online just posted a story of them hanging out with my first ex and since I've seen it I'm just constantly getting overwhelmed with anxiety and feeling pretty awfully jealous in a way. The person lied about a lot of pretty major things when we met each other and once I found out a couple months later I immediately ended the relationship but they kept convincing my housemates to let them into my house and threatening SH if I didn't speak to them, which resulted in me letting them come in on more than a few occasions after we broke up simply because I didn't know how to deal with rhay situation and didn't want to be the cause of anything (even though I know it wouldn't be my fault.)
Its been about 6 years since this all happened and we've completely stopped interacting in anyway, I've still got them blocked on everything and most of my friends have too, but I've reached a point where I don't hold any specific ill feeling towards them beyond acknowledging that it really hurt me. I don't even know if my friend, who admittedly isn't someone that I hang out with all the time or assume that they keep me in mind beyond our interactions, knows what happened or who they are even, but to my understanding they go to similar events and both live around the same city. Since that relationship I've had a long term relationship which for the sake of brevity I'll say left me with a lot more trauma and feelings of insecurity that has made it really hard for me to even leave the house a lot of times never mind how hard it is for me to socialise even with people that are really close friends, so I don't know that how I feel today is about either of the 2 people as it is just seeing other people being able to socialise and do things together when I find it near impossible to even feel like people like being around me at all.
I don't feel angry at anyone involved about this, like I say I don't even know if my friend realises who they are and even if they did I don't think that I'm entitled to decide who they hang out with, I guess it just piles on to the feelings I already have from both relationships and my brain knowing the best way to twist the situation into something that will make me feel as bad as possible. I know that I can't help having anxiety or depressive thoughts and I'm absolutely not planning on even mentioning it to him since that's obviously overstepping whatever bounds we have, I guess I just surprised myself with how quickly I went from feeling fine to completely hopeless and insignificant just from seeing that they were hanging out together.
Essentially, trauma sucks 😪
submitted by Venterbrau to Needafriend [link] [comments]
So a friend of mine who was in the year above me at university and that I keep up with pretty closely online just posted a story of them hanging out with my first ex and since I've seen it I'm just constantly getting overwhelmed with anxiety and feeling pretty awfully jealous in a way. The person lied about a lot of pretty major things when we met each other and once I found out a couple months later I immediately ended the relationship but they kept convincing my housemates to let them into my house and threatening SH if I didn't speak to them, which resulted in me letting them come in on more than a few occasions after we broke up simply because I didn't know how to deal with rhay situation and didn't want to be the cause of anything (even though I know it wouldn't be my fault.)
Its been about 6 years since this all happened and we've completely stopped interacting in anyway, I've still got them blocked on everything and most of my friends have too, but I've reached a point where I don't hold any specific ill feeling towards them beyond acknowledging that it really hurt me. I don't even know if my friend, who admittedly isn't someone that I hang out with all the time or assume that they keep me in mind beyond our interactions, knows what happened or who they are even, but to my understanding they go to similar events and both live around the same city. Since that relationship I've had a long term relationship which for the sake of brevity I'll say left me with a lot more trauma and feelings of insecurity that has made it really hard for me to even leave the house a lot of times never mind how hard it is for me to socialise even with people that are really close friends, so I don't know that how I feel today is about either of the 2 people as it is just seeing other people being able to socialise and do things together when I find it near impossible to even feel like people like being around me at all.
I don't feel angry at anyone involved about this, like I say I don't even know if my friend realises who they are and even if they did I don't think that I'm entitled to decide who they hang out with, I guess it just piles on to the feelings I already have from both relationships and my brain knowing the best way to twist the situation into something that will make me feel as bad as possible. I know that I can't help having anxiety or depressive thoughts and I'm absolutely not planning on even mentioning it to him since that's obviously overstepping whatever bounds we have, I guess I just surprised myself with how quickly I went from feeling fine to completely hopeless and insignificant just from seeing that they were hanging out together.
Essentially, trauma sucks 😪
2023.06.08 20:11 dark_cloudy_eclipse Thoughts on (nearly) daily good morning texts - is she flirting with me?
Happy Pride!!! <3
TLDR: newly separated, and i havent dated women in years. i cant tell whats going between my ex-coworker and i. she sends good morning texts nearly everyday. is she interested in me or im just a pal?
I (25 enby/he/them) need clarity. Like many of us, I can't tell if someone is flirting or not. My ex-coworker (23 she/her) and I send good morning texts (buenos diaz).
A little about me: I'm married to a cis-man (he/him). We are separated but living together. My husband knows I'm a lesbian, and we are fine with dating other people. My ex-coworker understands my relationship with him. I haven't dated women in years!
The good morning/buenos diaz messages (initially on Slack) started when we used to work together (remote work, we don't live in the same time zone, AND WE HAVE NEVER MET IN PERSON). I thought the messages were friendly/coworker morning texts. When we worked together, we would typically talk on Zoom most of the shift. We would talk about our weekend plans, dinner ideas, what we had for breakfast, future trips, my marriage and other casual topics. I didn't think any of it because she's a coworker.
When I left my job, she would send me daily good morning texts (iMessage). I still didn't think of anything of it. She wanted to text all day, but I didn't want to. There were a couple days where I didn't text back bc I'm not that kind of every day/all day texter. At times, she would double, triple, etc text when I didn't respond. Again, I didn't think any of it. I thought maybe she's bored or other things.
I think she got the idea that I didn't care to text every day bc we don't anymore. We text 3-5 times a week. I'll sometimes send a good morning text and she'll sometimes send a good morning text. To note, we send voice messages, too. although, we talked all day, she would never say good night (which to me is very intimate, and that made me think that these gm texts and talking all day was some friendly/passing the time talk). **now that im rereading this, she prob doesnt say goodnight bc im 3 hours ahead of her.** i started texting "im going to bed - night!", and she'd say "have a good night" or "night"! sometimes i dont, though.
She's in her travel era, and I'm kinda out of mine (traveled most of my early twenties, and im in my budget era). She is always inviting me to go on trips with her. She sends me tons of travel tik-toks. Of course I'd like to go on a trip, but MONEY/PTO (paid time off/vacation time).
I told my little sister and my friend about my situation. Of course my little gen z sister is like "omg she def digs you". My friend has the same sentiment.
there are times when i want to ask "do you send gm texts to your other friends?" "do you talk to your friends all day?"
idk, yall. Since it's been so long since i flirted/dated women, idk whats going on between my ex-coworker and i. i'd like to date her and see what could happen between us. we have similar interests, and i'd like to get to know her more. i know the answer would be to be straight-forward with her, but not all of are like that. what are yalls thoughts?
if it matters, im a cancer sun, cancer rising, and sag moon. she's a scorpio sun, taurus rising, and scorp moon.
submitted by dark_cloudy_eclipse to actuallesbians [link] [comments]
TLDR: newly separated, and i havent dated women in years. i cant tell whats going between my ex-coworker and i. she sends good morning texts nearly everyday. is she interested in me or im just a pal?
I (25 enby/he/them) need clarity. Like many of us, I can't tell if someone is flirting or not. My ex-coworker (23 she/her) and I send good morning texts (buenos diaz).
A little about me: I'm married to a cis-man (he/him). We are separated but living together. My husband knows I'm a lesbian, and we are fine with dating other people. My ex-coworker understands my relationship with him. I haven't dated women in years!
The good morning/buenos diaz messages (initially on Slack) started when we used to work together (remote work, we don't live in the same time zone, AND WE HAVE NEVER MET IN PERSON). I thought the messages were friendly/coworker morning texts. When we worked together, we would typically talk on Zoom most of the shift. We would talk about our weekend plans, dinner ideas, what we had for breakfast, future trips, my marriage and other casual topics. I didn't think any of it because she's a coworker.
When I left my job, she would send me daily good morning texts (iMessage). I still didn't think of anything of it. She wanted to text all day, but I didn't want to. There were a couple days where I didn't text back bc I'm not that kind of every day/all day texter. At times, she would double, triple, etc text when I didn't respond. Again, I didn't think any of it. I thought maybe she's bored or other things.
I think she got the idea that I didn't care to text every day bc we don't anymore. We text 3-5 times a week. I'll sometimes send a good morning text and she'll sometimes send a good morning text. To note, we send voice messages, too. although, we talked all day, she would never say good night (which to me is very intimate, and that made me think that these gm texts and talking all day was some friendly/passing the time talk). **now that im rereading this, she prob doesnt say goodnight bc im 3 hours ahead of her.** i started texting "im going to bed - night!", and she'd say "have a good night" or "night"! sometimes i dont, though.
She's in her travel era, and I'm kinda out of mine (traveled most of my early twenties, and im in my budget era). She is always inviting me to go on trips with her. She sends me tons of travel tik-toks. Of course I'd like to go on a trip, but MONEY/PTO (paid time off/vacation time).
I told my little sister and my friend about my situation. Of course my little gen z sister is like "omg she def digs you". My friend has the same sentiment.
there are times when i want to ask "do you send gm texts to your other friends?" "do you talk to your friends all day?"
idk, yall. Since it's been so long since i flirted/dated women, idk whats going on between my ex-coworker and i. i'd like to date her and see what could happen between us. we have similar interests, and i'd like to get to know her more. i know the answer would be to be straight-forward with her, but not all of are like that. what are yalls thoughts?
if it matters, im a cancer sun, cancer rising, and sag moon. she's a scorpio sun, taurus rising, and scorp moon.
2023.06.08 20:11 SleeperCells02 Relationships of any kind are near impossible for me.
I wish I was able to have a bare minimum of a couple friends I could talk to, but I have nobody. I've been hating how alone I feel and how it's not that people haven't tried being my friend, I'm just not capable of holding down friends. I've been loving the idea of a relationship, friends and dates but am never able to bring myself to it.
I have way too much on my plate at the moment, with there being severe PTSD and Depression as well as SAD, so I feel as though I'll have to stay this lonely until my therapist can help me get back together, which I feel like will be over a year or so.
submitted by SleeperCells02 to socialanxiety [link] [comments]
I have way too much on my plate at the moment, with there being severe PTSD and Depression as well as SAD, so I feel as though I'll have to stay this lonely until my therapist can help me get back together, which I feel like will be over a year or so.
2023.06.08 20:10 PiousAugustus Received a subpoena to testify - How do I prepare?
Hello.
I recently received a subpoena “to testify as witness in a criminal action.” Can someone advise me what I need to prepare? I am in Houston, Texas, in case it matters.
Background: Back in March, I called in a noise complaint against a neighbor - a bar near my house. The cops showed up, checked the sound levels and wrote the bar a ticket. This has been an ongoing issue. The bar opened after my wife and I bought our house. It became obnoxiously loud about a year later, during peak COVID when it shifted from speak-easy to nightclub vibes. Barely a month after receiving the the aforementioned ticket, the bar hosted a car meetup where attendees did donuts, burnouts and power slides for hours. I’ve met with the owner and asked if he can keep it down since his business is barely 250 feet from my infant daughter‘s bedroom, but I understand that we have different priorities.
My question is this: What should I do to prepare? I have a recording from the night in question (and from other nights), but what am I supposed to do with it? Do I play it for the judge? Am I going to be questioned? Should I call the court for more information?
This all new to me, and I just don’t want show up unprepared. Thanks for any advice.
submitted by PiousAugustus to legaladvice [link] [comments]
I recently received a subpoena “to testify as witness in a criminal action.” Can someone advise me what I need to prepare? I am in Houston, Texas, in case it matters.
Background: Back in March, I called in a noise complaint against a neighbor - a bar near my house. The cops showed up, checked the sound levels and wrote the bar a ticket. This has been an ongoing issue. The bar opened after my wife and I bought our house. It became obnoxiously loud about a year later, during peak COVID when it shifted from speak-easy to nightclub vibes. Barely a month after receiving the the aforementioned ticket, the bar hosted a car meetup where attendees did donuts, burnouts and power slides for hours. I’ve met with the owner and asked if he can keep it down since his business is barely 250 feet from my infant daughter‘s bedroom, but I understand that we have different priorities.
My question is this: What should I do to prepare? I have a recording from the night in question (and from other nights), but what am I supposed to do with it? Do I play it for the judge? Am I going to be questioned? Should I call the court for more information?
This all new to me, and I just don’t want show up unprepared. Thanks for any advice.
2023.06.08 20:10 Smart-Yoghurt-674 AITA for cutting my sister off from my son after she threatened me over $20?
My sister (20F) has a history of mental illness. I've (22F) always been supportive and offered help whenever she needed it. She has lived with my husband (22M, let's call him Greg) and me on and off for the past two years. Last October, we agreed that she would pay us $400 a month to contribute to groceries and utilities since we were barely making ends meet. However, she had some car trouble in January and ended up buying a new car, which now costs her $800 a month with insurance. We didn't ask for money for a few months, considering her struggles, and she never offered either.
In March, Greg and I got married and decided to discuss a consistent payment plan and renegotiate the amount she would contribute, given her financial difficulties and the fact that she had quit her job. We had three conversations about this, but each time she got defensive and claimed she didn't know how much to pay. During the third chat, she suddenly started packing her things and two days later, she moved to Florida without informing anyone. I found out through her Snapchat story, and it hurt that she didn't show us any respect after offering her help and being open to negotiation.
When she left, she left behind a 9-cube shelf. I offered her $20 for it three days later, but she ignored my message. Eventually, she tried to sell it for $25, and since I didn't want to argue over $5, I decided not to buy it. About a month and a half later, Greg changed his mind and wanted the shelf. He told me he would handle it if she asked about it.
Last week, she suddenly returned to town for the summer and asked for money again. I regretfully responded snarkily, saying she should pay us back for the months she lived here for free. She immediately became defensive, and I tried to backtrack by telling her to talk to Greg about the shelf. However, she didn't contact Greg and instead started calling me names, threatening to break in and cause damage to our property and myself. As a mother with a nearly 3-year-old child, I take threats seriously, especially from family. In response, I decided to cut off contact until she seeks consistent therapy. I offered to help her with scheduling but made it clear that she couldn't see my son until she has been in therapy for a year. I also expressed my willingness to attend therapy with her. My intention is to protect my family and still support her. However, she responded by calling me toxic and manipulative.
It's important to note that my sister tends to do well for a few months and then spirals out of control. She also has a history of rejecting advice, especially if she feels attacked. So, I always try to approach serious conversations with caution to avoid triggering her. Unfortunately, I let my emotions take over with the snarky comment, and I admit my mistake in that.
submitted by Smart-Yoghurt-674 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
In March, Greg and I got married and decided to discuss a consistent payment plan and renegotiate the amount she would contribute, given her financial difficulties and the fact that she had quit her job. We had three conversations about this, but each time she got defensive and claimed she didn't know how much to pay. During the third chat, she suddenly started packing her things and two days later, she moved to Florida without informing anyone. I found out through her Snapchat story, and it hurt that she didn't show us any respect after offering her help and being open to negotiation.
When she left, she left behind a 9-cube shelf. I offered her $20 for it three days later, but she ignored my message. Eventually, she tried to sell it for $25, and since I didn't want to argue over $5, I decided not to buy it. About a month and a half later, Greg changed his mind and wanted the shelf. He told me he would handle it if she asked about it.
Last week, she suddenly returned to town for the summer and asked for money again. I regretfully responded snarkily, saying she should pay us back for the months she lived here for free. She immediately became defensive, and I tried to backtrack by telling her to talk to Greg about the shelf. However, she didn't contact Greg and instead started calling me names, threatening to break in and cause damage to our property and myself. As a mother with a nearly 3-year-old child, I take threats seriously, especially from family. In response, I decided to cut off contact until she seeks consistent therapy. I offered to help her with scheduling but made it clear that she couldn't see my son until she has been in therapy for a year. I also expressed my willingness to attend therapy with her. My intention is to protect my family and still support her. However, she responded by calling me toxic and manipulative.
It's important to note that my sister tends to do well for a few months and then spirals out of control. She also has a history of rejecting advice, especially if she feels attacked. So, I always try to approach serious conversations with caution to avoid triggering her. Unfortunately, I let my emotions take over with the snarky comment, and I admit my mistake in that.
2023.06.08 20:09 Sad_Independent_4176 Two people working together
So there’s two shoppers in my area, they used to use their own cars but the last week or so, they’ve been together. They’re the type to sit outside near the car, I’m assuming they think it helps (lol) and I can see them both on their phones, one even has two phones.. next thing you know, they’re walking inside together. It just kinda peeves me as myself and other solo shoppers are stuck sitting in the lot while they have double the chances of getting orders and they’re walking in constantly. Another shopper mentioned it to me so I started parking in view of them to see for myself. I passed them in store, she was in an aisle the same as me and when I passed by them again, there’s only one cart.. so clearly she was helping with his order or him helping her.
Maybe it’s just me, but this job is easy enough to not need two people working an order. Wouldn’t it just be more of a hassle with two people? Like “hey, run to this aisle & get this, and then meet me here!” Also what, splitting the pay? Idk, it grinds my gears.
Just a rant.
submitted by Sad_Independent_4176 to InstacartShoppers [link] [comments]
Maybe it’s just me, but this job is easy enough to not need two people working an order. Wouldn’t it just be more of a hassle with two people? Like “hey, run to this aisle & get this, and then meet me here!” Also what, splitting the pay? Idk, it grinds my gears.
Just a rant.
2023.06.08 20:08 Fenig Go home, GPS, you’re clearly on something.
 | Kinda over this. Every time I get near downtown LA it tries to backtrack me. submitted by Fenig to TeslaLounge [link] [comments] |
2023.06.08 20:08 4yelhsa From a Traumatic Teaching Experience to Engineering
Warning, this is a pretty long read. TL;DR: I spent 18 months working at the worst schools with the worst students experiencing terrible working conditions most people only hear about on T.V. before deciding to transition out of teaching and into engineering.
I graduated in December 2016 with a degree in Physics concentrating in secondary education. My degree program was essentially a double major, they removed the requirements for a couple of courses from physics major and added in an entire course load of education courses. I graduated with more than 160 credit hours and still I was terribly under prepared for handling a classroom on my own.
My practicum assignment was at a "good school". The teacher I worked under my last semester had nearly flawless classroom control; mostly due to the student population generally being well behaved, but I didn't understand that at the time. The classroom management during my teaching periods was also pretty good. She taught me her methods for classroom management and I thought I had it down. Plus when I left she sent me away with a large binder of her lessons, so I didn't really need worry about lesson planning. I thought I was ready. I was incredibly thankful to her and confident when I accepted my mid-year posting at a Title IX school.
And what a mistake that was. That school and that district was insane. I accepted a posting to teach Physics to 11 and 12th graders and physical science to the 9th and 10th graders. This school ran on a block schedule so I had 8 periods of approximately 30 students that where I saw half of my students every other day with 2 hour long classes. When I arrived I found that my senior students had been with a sub the entire first semester learning physical science, that their math teacher did not exist, and that their ability to handle the rigor of physics was at absolute 0. Almost immediately after I began all of my senior students were failing. Big problem.
I was quickly pulled into a meeting with the principal and leadership where I was essentially told that if these students did not pass my class I would need to look for other employment come next year. Crank up the stress. Administration did not care that these kids did not deserve to pass physics due to their lacking foundations in math. I still don't understand how they expect students to pass physics which is based on algebra II/trig/geometry when these kids are barely studying algebra 1 under a constant string of revolving incompetent substitutes. But I was scared, so I essentially removed all maths from my class and just taught conceptual things. Basically instead of I throw the ball do the math to determine it's trajectory based on these initial numbers, the tasks became I throw the ball explain draw it's flight path and explain why it looks like that. It felt like I was doing these kids a huge disservice, but at the end of the year most of my students had passed physics and were onto the next course.
Aside from the curriculum requirements, the classroom management that entire year was a crap shoot. I found it impossible to manage these students who could not understand the concepts and did not want to learn them. I had boys flashing me their genitals, there were fights, there were students tossing things everywhere, they just could not shut up for even a moment, they stood on tables, they took my things, they stood in my space, and it was impossible to get anything done. I even had one student try to bribe me with her car and "sexual favors" for a passing grade on the final (holy fuck that was terrible).
Notably I remember that sometime during my 3rd or 4th month there, a student I'd never seen before was escorted into my classroom by police in handcuffs. They sat him down without a word, uncuffed him, and pulled me into the hallway where I was informed that this kid was on some type of reformation program. That he'd be attending my class from that day forward and that if he misbehaved to call them (the police!?) because he was "active" and "serious". lol wtf? That student unsurprisingly was fighting in my classroom almost immediately.
And those were just problems in my classroom, in that school during my first (and only) semester there were numerous fights in the halls between students, and even some between students and their teachers, students were caught having sex during school hours, there was a sex scandal between a teacher and her student and then she disappeared shortly after. There was a gun incident at a basketball game. After that they started making teachers come to school an hour earlier so that we could search every student as they came onto campus. I pulled plenty of weapons off kids during this time. And they made a locked door policy so that if students were late and missed the morning check they'd have to come through the front office to get it done by the staff there. It was dreadfully ineffective. I watched students jump the fences and be let in by others daily.
Around this time we got word that were was a shooting at our feeder school (a middle school that sends their kids to our high school). A student was murdered right outside of campus (literally in front of the neighboring building).
I worked at that school for only a single semester, and that wasn't by choice. After scaring me about the security of my job I worked really hard to keep it. I kept up with the crazy shenanigans happening on and around our campus, more than 90% of my students passed my class (even tho in my opinion they did not deserve to) and I spent many late nights rewriting my lesson plans and grading the work of my 240 students. I arrived at school at 6am I didn't get to leave until 4pm and I spent all night until 12 or 1am preparing for the next day on a $32k per year salary. And none of it mattered. After doing everything they asked of me that semester, they pink slipped me anyway. Asking around, I found out that a large majority of the first year teachers receive pink slips regardless of their performance and as a big fuck you I guess. They expected me to apply for my job a second time where I would definitely get it again and start off the year with a reset tenure timeline.
So I decided "fuck that" and moved home onto my mom's couch in California after summer school ended. Remember that school where the murder happened? I taught summer school for high school and middle school students there. And unexpectedly it was the best time I ever had teaching. I taught 3 periods of high school students (chemistry cuz whatever I guess the administration didn't care or something) and I taught 1 period of 7th grade earth science. In summer school classes were about 45 minutes each and the max class size I had was 20 kids per period. I only taught 2 kids at the middle school level.
Don't get me wrong, the conditions were still terrible. There were actively constructing within the school building that summer. The AC was turned off. The available classrooms not under renovation were incredibly tiny such that even though I didn't have more than 20 kids, they all had to practically sit on top of each other with less than 2 feet between them at any time. Every morning I had to seat kids in a certain order just to make sure everyone could actually reach their seats they were so close together. If a student came late there was always this huge shuffle where like 10 kids had to move around to make space so the late person could reach their desk. My desk was shoved into a tiny tiny little space as well and it was a tiny little desk so small that they should've just given me another kids desk and taken the one I had away. I would've preferred the extra space. Chemistry was one of the courses I didn't have to take in college and I was super not qualified to teach it to high school students. (Really wtf were they thinking? Lol I'm sure there were a ton of kids who needed remedial physics). But it didn't really matter that I was under educated in chemistry, since my teaching hours ended at noon and I had so few papers to grade, I had plenty of time to learn the curriculum and develop a lesson plan for the next day with assignments after grading papers. That summer I could easily get into bed before 8pm. It was amazing honestly.
Because I had so few students compared to the regular term, I was able to interact with each of them. Instead of being a number or a statistic in my grade book each student that summer was a real person I knew. I knew what they liked and didn't like, I spent time learning their hobbies and what they wanted to do. For kids who wanted to pursue STEM I had time to give them more attention/ feed their passion and for students who wanted to do something else I had time to get to know them as a person and understand what made them passionate about wrestling, or hair styling, or being a mechanic or whatever it was. It felt like a vacation even tho I was still working more than 8 hours a day.
A vacation I really needed because at the beginning of the new school year I moved back home to my mom's house and began teaching at my old high school which I knew was going to be rough based on my own experience as a student. I was hired as a "long term substitute" which I understand to be a way to circumvent my lack of credentials in the state of California. It allowed me to essentially operate as the teacher without having a license to teach. I (ironically) taught mathematics (algebra I and geometry). My teaching conditions were much better than my old school in some ways and much worse in others.
At my first school the kids were unruly but there wasn't anything that was specifically targeted towards me. They would mostly act out towards each other and leave me out of it and my new school it was the opposite. The kids were incredibly close with each other, so I still had problems with talking and general misbehavior, but when they acted out it was much more likely to be directed towards me specifically. I received a ton of threats of violence towards me personally that year. "I'll beat your ass Ms. 4Yelhsa" or "My mom/sistecousin/etc will beat your ass Ms. 4yelhsa" and there were plenty of comments on my appearance, voice, level of income, etc. Instead of bullying each other the kids essentially bullied me and there wasn't much I could do about it.
This school used a method of conflict resolution called "Restorative Justice". This essentially meant that regular forms of punishment such as in school suspensions, or detentions, etc were reserved to especially bad behavior. When a kid threatened to hit me they would be removed from my class for a few days but for the comments it was expected that I would handle that on my own through these "restorative sessions". Basically if a student acted out in my classroom, I was supposed to schedule what amounts to a counseling meeting with them where we would both discuss what happened and come to some sort of accord. I would ask that student why they felt like acting out, I was supposed to inquire to them about how my methods of teaching or classroom management caused them to act out, then I was supposed to explain to them why acting out like that was wrong and get them to agree to a deal to stop acting out if I fixed the things they brought up during our discussion. A conversation would basically go.
Student: Ms. Yelhsa I talked over you because so and so was helping me with x.
Me: Ok well why don't you raise your hand and I can help you with that and that way anyone who has the same question can also get my help
Student: No. I didn't want to do that because I didn't want to talk in front of everyone
Me: Ok why don't you just hold it until after the lesson is done then?
Student: But then I'll forget.
Me: Well you can't talk while I'm talking because it disrupts the class and distracts me from teaching everyone
Student: It's not even that big of a deal. I was just talking with them real quick.
It never worked as kids just talked in circles and were always unwilling to compromise (obviously because they're kids). It was nonsense, it didn't work, and it made it impossible for me to remove distractions from my classroom. It also took time away from other students because I would need to spend minutes having 1 on 1 debates essentially with children about how they should be behaving in my class and trying to bribe them into good behavior. I'll give you guys an extra 5 minutes of free time if we can be quiet during the next 20 minutes kind of energy.
Fights at the second school didn't happen on campus as much as at my first school, but the violence off campus was immense. I feel like several children from this school died every month. We held memorials for them during lunch and spoke about them during rallies. Over the intercom they'd make announcements about it. I'd often come across groups of students weeping during passing periods or lunch.
There was one time where a student was absent from my class for over a month, let's call him Brian. As like what I always did I marked his assignments as 0's, I mentioned it to leadership, I sent home some nominal communication about his attendance/grades to the guardian on file, etc. I followed the procedure. Then one day he was just back randomly and I let him have it. I gave him this huge lecture about how he needs to be concerned for his future, that school is important, that a good education could get him out of this neighborhood with these gangs and drugs, etc. And he stood there and took it then after I was done he very calmly told me that he'd been shot and that he nearly died and that's why he was gone all that time. And I really didn't believe him (even tho I should have considering the frequent deaths of our students to gun violence). I told him he shouldn't tell jokes like that and then he showed me his wound.
Imagining myself marking his assignments as 0's not really giving to much thought on it, emailing his parents about his attendance, going about like normal. What if he had really died? And I marked his grades as 0's? He went from a C to a solidly failing my class between the shooting and his death? Then when they put him in the dirt , he's got an F in Ms. 4yelhsa's class because Ms. 4yelhsa was following the procedure. That thought really fucked me up for while.
Surprisingly, the only student I've personally taught in my class / knew on a personal level that was murdered was at that the "good school" where I had my practicum. His name was Jason. It happened after I had left, but I knew Jason. I knew what he wanted to be when he grew up. I knew he was upset with the lack of attention he was getting at home. I knew him. When he was gunned down at a fast food restaurant less than a mile from campus on a school day over a drug deal gone intentionally wrong. My mentor from the practicum personally reached out to me about it. When Jason died it was a big event at that "good school". It was unordinary, the school mobilized a lot of capital to take care of its students in the aftermath, hiring special grief counselors. I imagine it was spoken about for many months in the hallways, that they held many special events for the remaining students, and it's still probably brought up occasionally amongst the staff even though that cohort of kids is long gone.
But Brian. If Brian died, I knew it'd be just a little blip on the radar and then it's over and gone forever. They'll make a little announcement, they'll say his name next to the others during the next rally and then it's business as usual. The different experience between a child that attends a "good school" and grows up in a "good neighborhood" and the child who attends these Title IX schools in these deadly neighborhoods is just so incredibly different it's wild.
After that incident with Brian, there were three other major events that I experienced. One was a threat of a possible active school shooter. I really don't know what happened, there was a lot of confusion. Just a normal day, then an alarm, I remember thinking how I didn't remember there being a drill planned for that day. Then an announcement, then a lot of panic. Then I remember ushering kids from the hallway into my room, then locking the door, then shushing my kids (thankfully they were all very quiet for once), then turning the lights off, then encouraging the students to hide along the wall by the door, then taping paper over the doors window, then sitting in silence for a long while with crying and scared kids, and then it was over. I still honestly have no real certain information of what happened. From the grapevine I gathered that there was a man on campus who may or may not have been looking for someone and who may or may not have had a gun and who left pretty quickly. The majority of the time I spent locked in that classroom with those kids wondering wtf was going on, the situation was already over and no one knew.
The second event was very similar. I was monitoring lunch when a fight broke out (a pretty rare event surprisingly). When these fights break out there's always a ton of kids who crowd around the fighting students and make it extremely difficult to break it up. Earlier in the school year a teacher broke her wrist trying to break up and fight and we'd been given training to leave it up to the security on campus. So when the fight happened I didn't even try to get involved. I just watched from a little ways away. Then suddenly a student yelled that one of the people fighting had a gun. Instant mayhem. Kids running in every direction. Tripping, falling, jumping over each other, me doing my best to direct traffic. No one listening. The area starts clearing out quickly, but there was never a gun. That kid who yelled it out was just trying to be funny. It wasn't funny, but it was a relief.
Then the third event was the shooting of Stephon Clark. Stephon Clark had attended the school at one point. Random Fact: Stephon Clark and I actually went to that school during the same time period, but I didn't know him. He was one year younger than me. I have a lot of friends who are his friends it wouldn't be strange if I've met him a number of times and just can't remember considering how close our circle of friends were. The community around that high school is not very big it's often that the alumni still have sisters or brothers or cousins or just a little homie from across the way attending after they leave. Also everyone sort of has ties to each other in some way because it's a very insular community. So the shooting of Stephon Clark was a big deal on campus. But it happened very close to the end of the school year, and I ended up never returning to work at that school. I know there were a bunch of protests and walk outs on campus but I wasn't around to see it.
When that year ended, I thought I would be kept on for the next year. Idk what happened but I was never contacted about a contract renewal. I was a long term sub and not a teacher there and I later learned that the lack of contact happened in error but at the time it felt like I had been silently fired. As a sub I did not have an option to convert my 9 month contract to a 12 month pay out plan so that summer I lived off my savings believing that I did not have a job waiting on me at the beginning of the next school year and I had a decision to make. So far teaching had not been what I was expecting at all. I went from making 32k in Alabama to making 30k in California. I was beyond destitute. My quality of life that year was in the dumps. I lived on my mothers couch for the entire 9 months and my mom is low key a hoarder and her faux leather couch was peeling and flaking, so it wasn't really fun. I was making $15/hr and that's not a lot so I thought I'd try looking for something different. And it sucked. I sent a ton of applications in to laboratories with no bites. for 2 months I was unemployed, not eligible for unemployment, and I burned through almost all of my savings. Right after the school year started it was clear that I'd have to go back to school in order to get away from teaching. So I called my old academic advisor and holy hell that saint she accepted me on the spot. I remember she said "Don't worry just come back to school right now".
and I went "right now? The semester has already started and I haven't even applied yet"
and she told me not to worry about that. That she would handle it and she did. Shout out to her she changed my life. I guess this is a perk of going to a small school. She knew me very well because at my college there are less than 30 physics students across all levels at any one time. If the department drops much lower than that it's always at risk of being shut down. She needed a student and I needed a school. It all just came together.
I had to submit an application as a formality and then a week later I drove my crappy car that broke down everywhere from California back to Alabama as a graduate level physics student for the fall 2018 semester. I was homeless for a little bit but an old buddy from college let me sleep on his floor for $300/mo. Shout out to him. The house was trash with roaches and mice but it definitely beat sleeping in my car. I slept in the dining room under a table for about 6 months. I spent my last little money on a 7 dollar air mattress and a pump for it and that thing sprung a leak 3 months later. I was always waking up with my butt on the ground lol. I couldn't pay my rent the second month but during that month, I got an internship at a DoD contracting company starting that summer and my advisor put me in touch with a professor who had grant money for research assistants. I started making $1k per month off that. Plus I got a job as a waitress and I was in business. After that school year ended I started my internship summer of 2019. When it was over, during the end of the internship presentations while leadership was in the room, I threw it all out there and just asked for a job. Straight up I literally ended my presentation with "And that's why you should hire me". And those dudes said yea sure. My 10 week summer internship was directly converted into a co-op (with a pay bump. hell yea). A room opened up in the place I was staying at so I got upgraded from sleeping under a table to sleeping in an empty room. I bought another blow up mattress and quit my job as a waitress. ya girl started doing big things. I graduated on time Spring 2020 and my coop with that company was converted into a full time position and just like that I was an engineer.
One of these days, if I can, I'd like to open up my own school. I think that'd be really cool to come back not as a teacher with my boots on the ground but as a founder one day. And hopefully at that time I can help some of these kids from these Title IX schools change their outcomes and provide them with better opportunities.
submitted by 4yelhsa to TeachersInTransition [link] [comments]
I graduated in December 2016 with a degree in Physics concentrating in secondary education. My degree program was essentially a double major, they removed the requirements for a couple of courses from physics major and added in an entire course load of education courses. I graduated with more than 160 credit hours and still I was terribly under prepared for handling a classroom on my own.
My practicum assignment was at a "good school". The teacher I worked under my last semester had nearly flawless classroom control; mostly due to the student population generally being well behaved, but I didn't understand that at the time. The classroom management during my teaching periods was also pretty good. She taught me her methods for classroom management and I thought I had it down. Plus when I left she sent me away with a large binder of her lessons, so I didn't really need worry about lesson planning. I thought I was ready. I was incredibly thankful to her and confident when I accepted my mid-year posting at a Title IX school.
And what a mistake that was. That school and that district was insane. I accepted a posting to teach Physics to 11 and 12th graders and physical science to the 9th and 10th graders. This school ran on a block schedule so I had 8 periods of approximately 30 students that where I saw half of my students every other day with 2 hour long classes. When I arrived I found that my senior students had been with a sub the entire first semester learning physical science, that their math teacher did not exist, and that their ability to handle the rigor of physics was at absolute 0. Almost immediately after I began all of my senior students were failing. Big problem.
I was quickly pulled into a meeting with the principal and leadership where I was essentially told that if these students did not pass my class I would need to look for other employment come next year. Crank up the stress. Administration did not care that these kids did not deserve to pass physics due to their lacking foundations in math. I still don't understand how they expect students to pass physics which is based on algebra II/trig/geometry when these kids are barely studying algebra 1 under a constant string of revolving incompetent substitutes. But I was scared, so I essentially removed all maths from my class and just taught conceptual things. Basically instead of I throw the ball do the math to determine it's trajectory based on these initial numbers, the tasks became I throw the ball explain draw it's flight path and explain why it looks like that. It felt like I was doing these kids a huge disservice, but at the end of the year most of my students had passed physics and were onto the next course.
Aside from the curriculum requirements, the classroom management that entire year was a crap shoot. I found it impossible to manage these students who could not understand the concepts and did not want to learn them. I had boys flashing me their genitals, there were fights, there were students tossing things everywhere, they just could not shut up for even a moment, they stood on tables, they took my things, they stood in my space, and it was impossible to get anything done. I even had one student try to bribe me with her car and "sexual favors" for a passing grade on the final (holy fuck that was terrible).
Notably I remember that sometime during my 3rd or 4th month there, a student I'd never seen before was escorted into my classroom by police in handcuffs. They sat him down without a word, uncuffed him, and pulled me into the hallway where I was informed that this kid was on some type of reformation program. That he'd be attending my class from that day forward and that if he misbehaved to call them (the police!?) because he was "active" and "serious". lol wtf? That student unsurprisingly was fighting in my classroom almost immediately.
And those were just problems in my classroom, in that school during my first (and only) semester there were numerous fights in the halls between students, and even some between students and their teachers, students were caught having sex during school hours, there was a sex scandal between a teacher and her student and then she disappeared shortly after. There was a gun incident at a basketball game. After that they started making teachers come to school an hour earlier so that we could search every student as they came onto campus. I pulled plenty of weapons off kids during this time. And they made a locked door policy so that if students were late and missed the morning check they'd have to come through the front office to get it done by the staff there. It was dreadfully ineffective. I watched students jump the fences and be let in by others daily.
Around this time we got word that were was a shooting at our feeder school (a middle school that sends their kids to our high school). A student was murdered right outside of campus (literally in front of the neighboring building).
I worked at that school for only a single semester, and that wasn't by choice. After scaring me about the security of my job I worked really hard to keep it. I kept up with the crazy shenanigans happening on and around our campus, more than 90% of my students passed my class (even tho in my opinion they did not deserve to) and I spent many late nights rewriting my lesson plans and grading the work of my 240 students. I arrived at school at 6am I didn't get to leave until 4pm and I spent all night until 12 or 1am preparing for the next day on a $32k per year salary. And none of it mattered. After doing everything they asked of me that semester, they pink slipped me anyway. Asking around, I found out that a large majority of the first year teachers receive pink slips regardless of their performance and as a big fuck you I guess. They expected me to apply for my job a second time where I would definitely get it again and start off the year with a reset tenure timeline.
So I decided "fuck that" and moved home onto my mom's couch in California after summer school ended. Remember that school where the murder happened? I taught summer school for high school and middle school students there. And unexpectedly it was the best time I ever had teaching. I taught 3 periods of high school students (chemistry cuz whatever I guess the administration didn't care or something) and I taught 1 period of 7th grade earth science. In summer school classes were about 45 minutes each and the max class size I had was 20 kids per period. I only taught 2 kids at the middle school level.
Don't get me wrong, the conditions were still terrible. There were actively constructing within the school building that summer. The AC was turned off. The available classrooms not under renovation were incredibly tiny such that even though I didn't have more than 20 kids, they all had to practically sit on top of each other with less than 2 feet between them at any time. Every morning I had to seat kids in a certain order just to make sure everyone could actually reach their seats they were so close together. If a student came late there was always this huge shuffle where like 10 kids had to move around to make space so the late person could reach their desk. My desk was shoved into a tiny tiny little space as well and it was a tiny little desk so small that they should've just given me another kids desk and taken the one I had away. I would've preferred the extra space. Chemistry was one of the courses I didn't have to take in college and I was super not qualified to teach it to high school students. (Really wtf were they thinking? Lol I'm sure there were a ton of kids who needed remedial physics). But it didn't really matter that I was under educated in chemistry, since my teaching hours ended at noon and I had so few papers to grade, I had plenty of time to learn the curriculum and develop a lesson plan for the next day with assignments after grading papers. That summer I could easily get into bed before 8pm. It was amazing honestly.
Because I had so few students compared to the regular term, I was able to interact with each of them. Instead of being a number or a statistic in my grade book each student that summer was a real person I knew. I knew what they liked and didn't like, I spent time learning their hobbies and what they wanted to do. For kids who wanted to pursue STEM I had time to give them more attention/ feed their passion and for students who wanted to do something else I had time to get to know them as a person and understand what made them passionate about wrestling, or hair styling, or being a mechanic or whatever it was. It felt like a vacation even tho I was still working more than 8 hours a day.
A vacation I really needed because at the beginning of the new school year I moved back home to my mom's house and began teaching at my old high school which I knew was going to be rough based on my own experience as a student. I was hired as a "long term substitute" which I understand to be a way to circumvent my lack of credentials in the state of California. It allowed me to essentially operate as the teacher without having a license to teach. I (ironically) taught mathematics (algebra I and geometry). My teaching conditions were much better than my old school in some ways and much worse in others.
At my first school the kids were unruly but there wasn't anything that was specifically targeted towards me. They would mostly act out towards each other and leave me out of it and my new school it was the opposite. The kids were incredibly close with each other, so I still had problems with talking and general misbehavior, but when they acted out it was much more likely to be directed towards me specifically. I received a ton of threats of violence towards me personally that year. "I'll beat your ass Ms. 4Yelhsa" or "My mom/sistecousin/etc will beat your ass Ms. 4yelhsa" and there were plenty of comments on my appearance, voice, level of income, etc. Instead of bullying each other the kids essentially bullied me and there wasn't much I could do about it.
This school used a method of conflict resolution called "Restorative Justice". This essentially meant that regular forms of punishment such as in school suspensions, or detentions, etc were reserved to especially bad behavior. When a kid threatened to hit me they would be removed from my class for a few days but for the comments it was expected that I would handle that on my own through these "restorative sessions". Basically if a student acted out in my classroom, I was supposed to schedule what amounts to a counseling meeting with them where we would both discuss what happened and come to some sort of accord. I would ask that student why they felt like acting out, I was supposed to inquire to them about how my methods of teaching or classroom management caused them to act out, then I was supposed to explain to them why acting out like that was wrong and get them to agree to a deal to stop acting out if I fixed the things they brought up during our discussion. A conversation would basically go.
Student: Ms. Yelhsa I talked over you because so and so was helping me with x.
Me: Ok well why don't you raise your hand and I can help you with that and that way anyone who has the same question can also get my help
Student: No. I didn't want to do that because I didn't want to talk in front of everyone
Me: Ok why don't you just hold it until after the lesson is done then?
Student: But then I'll forget.
Me: Well you can't talk while I'm talking because it disrupts the class and distracts me from teaching everyone
Student: It's not even that big of a deal. I was just talking with them real quick.
It never worked as kids just talked in circles and were always unwilling to compromise (obviously because they're kids). It was nonsense, it didn't work, and it made it impossible for me to remove distractions from my classroom. It also took time away from other students because I would need to spend minutes having 1 on 1 debates essentially with children about how they should be behaving in my class and trying to bribe them into good behavior. I'll give you guys an extra 5 minutes of free time if we can be quiet during the next 20 minutes kind of energy.
Fights at the second school didn't happen on campus as much as at my first school, but the violence off campus was immense. I feel like several children from this school died every month. We held memorials for them during lunch and spoke about them during rallies. Over the intercom they'd make announcements about it. I'd often come across groups of students weeping during passing periods or lunch.
There was one time where a student was absent from my class for over a month, let's call him Brian. As like what I always did I marked his assignments as 0's, I mentioned it to leadership, I sent home some nominal communication about his attendance/grades to the guardian on file, etc. I followed the procedure. Then one day he was just back randomly and I let him have it. I gave him this huge lecture about how he needs to be concerned for his future, that school is important, that a good education could get him out of this neighborhood with these gangs and drugs, etc. And he stood there and took it then after I was done he very calmly told me that he'd been shot and that he nearly died and that's why he was gone all that time. And I really didn't believe him (even tho I should have considering the frequent deaths of our students to gun violence). I told him he shouldn't tell jokes like that and then he showed me his wound.
Imagining myself marking his assignments as 0's not really giving to much thought on it, emailing his parents about his attendance, going about like normal. What if he had really died? And I marked his grades as 0's? He went from a C to a solidly failing my class between the shooting and his death? Then when they put him in the dirt , he's got an F in Ms. 4yelhsa's class because Ms. 4yelhsa was following the procedure. That thought really fucked me up for while.
Surprisingly, the only student I've personally taught in my class / knew on a personal level that was murdered was at that the "good school" where I had my practicum. His name was Jason. It happened after I had left, but I knew Jason. I knew what he wanted to be when he grew up. I knew he was upset with the lack of attention he was getting at home. I knew him. When he was gunned down at a fast food restaurant less than a mile from campus on a school day over a drug deal gone intentionally wrong. My mentor from the practicum personally reached out to me about it. When Jason died it was a big event at that "good school". It was unordinary, the school mobilized a lot of capital to take care of its students in the aftermath, hiring special grief counselors. I imagine it was spoken about for many months in the hallways, that they held many special events for the remaining students, and it's still probably brought up occasionally amongst the staff even though that cohort of kids is long gone.
But Brian. If Brian died, I knew it'd be just a little blip on the radar and then it's over and gone forever. They'll make a little announcement, they'll say his name next to the others during the next rally and then it's business as usual. The different experience between a child that attends a "good school" and grows up in a "good neighborhood" and the child who attends these Title IX schools in these deadly neighborhoods is just so incredibly different it's wild.
After that incident with Brian, there were three other major events that I experienced. One was a threat of a possible active school shooter. I really don't know what happened, there was a lot of confusion. Just a normal day, then an alarm, I remember thinking how I didn't remember there being a drill planned for that day. Then an announcement, then a lot of panic. Then I remember ushering kids from the hallway into my room, then locking the door, then shushing my kids (thankfully they were all very quiet for once), then turning the lights off, then encouraging the students to hide along the wall by the door, then taping paper over the doors window, then sitting in silence for a long while with crying and scared kids, and then it was over. I still honestly have no real certain information of what happened. From the grapevine I gathered that there was a man on campus who may or may not have been looking for someone and who may or may not have had a gun and who left pretty quickly. The majority of the time I spent locked in that classroom with those kids wondering wtf was going on, the situation was already over and no one knew.
The second event was very similar. I was monitoring lunch when a fight broke out (a pretty rare event surprisingly). When these fights break out there's always a ton of kids who crowd around the fighting students and make it extremely difficult to break it up. Earlier in the school year a teacher broke her wrist trying to break up and fight and we'd been given training to leave it up to the security on campus. So when the fight happened I didn't even try to get involved. I just watched from a little ways away. Then suddenly a student yelled that one of the people fighting had a gun. Instant mayhem. Kids running in every direction. Tripping, falling, jumping over each other, me doing my best to direct traffic. No one listening. The area starts clearing out quickly, but there was never a gun. That kid who yelled it out was just trying to be funny. It wasn't funny, but it was a relief.
Then the third event was the shooting of Stephon Clark. Stephon Clark had attended the school at one point. Random Fact: Stephon Clark and I actually went to that school during the same time period, but I didn't know him. He was one year younger than me. I have a lot of friends who are his friends it wouldn't be strange if I've met him a number of times and just can't remember considering how close our circle of friends were. The community around that high school is not very big it's often that the alumni still have sisters or brothers or cousins or just a little homie from across the way attending after they leave. Also everyone sort of has ties to each other in some way because it's a very insular community. So the shooting of Stephon Clark was a big deal on campus. But it happened very close to the end of the school year, and I ended up never returning to work at that school. I know there were a bunch of protests and walk outs on campus but I wasn't around to see it.
When that year ended, I thought I would be kept on for the next year. Idk what happened but I was never contacted about a contract renewal. I was a long term sub and not a teacher there and I later learned that the lack of contact happened in error but at the time it felt like I had been silently fired. As a sub I did not have an option to convert my 9 month contract to a 12 month pay out plan so that summer I lived off my savings believing that I did not have a job waiting on me at the beginning of the next school year and I had a decision to make. So far teaching had not been what I was expecting at all. I went from making 32k in Alabama to making 30k in California. I was beyond destitute. My quality of life that year was in the dumps. I lived on my mothers couch for the entire 9 months and my mom is low key a hoarder and her faux leather couch was peeling and flaking, so it wasn't really fun. I was making $15/hr and that's not a lot so I thought I'd try looking for something different. And it sucked. I sent a ton of applications in to laboratories with no bites. for 2 months I was unemployed, not eligible for unemployment, and I burned through almost all of my savings. Right after the school year started it was clear that I'd have to go back to school in order to get away from teaching. So I called my old academic advisor and holy hell that saint she accepted me on the spot. I remember she said "Don't worry just come back to school right now".
and I went "right now? The semester has already started and I haven't even applied yet"
and she told me not to worry about that. That she would handle it and she did. Shout out to her she changed my life. I guess this is a perk of going to a small school. She knew me very well because at my college there are less than 30 physics students across all levels at any one time. If the department drops much lower than that it's always at risk of being shut down. She needed a student and I needed a school. It all just came together.
I had to submit an application as a formality and then a week later I drove my crappy car that broke down everywhere from California back to Alabama as a graduate level physics student for the fall 2018 semester. I was homeless for a little bit but an old buddy from college let me sleep on his floor for $300/mo. Shout out to him. The house was trash with roaches and mice but it definitely beat sleeping in my car. I slept in the dining room under a table for about 6 months. I spent my last little money on a 7 dollar air mattress and a pump for it and that thing sprung a leak 3 months later. I was always waking up with my butt on the ground lol. I couldn't pay my rent the second month but during that month, I got an internship at a DoD contracting company starting that summer and my advisor put me in touch with a professor who had grant money for research assistants. I started making $1k per month off that. Plus I got a job as a waitress and I was in business. After that school year ended I started my internship summer of 2019. When it was over, during the end of the internship presentations while leadership was in the room, I threw it all out there and just asked for a job. Straight up I literally ended my presentation with "And that's why you should hire me". And those dudes said yea sure. My 10 week summer internship was directly converted into a co-op (with a pay bump. hell yea). A room opened up in the place I was staying at so I got upgraded from sleeping under a table to sleeping in an empty room. I bought another blow up mattress and quit my job as a waitress. ya girl started doing big things. I graduated on time Spring 2020 and my coop with that company was converted into a full time position and just like that I was an engineer.
One of these days, if I can, I'd like to open up my own school. I think that'd be really cool to come back not as a teacher with my boots on the ground but as a founder one day. And hopefully at that time I can help some of these kids from these Title IX schools change their outcomes and provide them with better opportunities.
2023.06.08 20:08 azurevin Is there overall little build variety that can perform at high lvls?
Let me precise what I mean: I've been looking at various builds since release, specifically for Sorceress, and anything and everything that has to do with Lightning skills pretty much requires Arc Lash as a base.
And even then, only pretty much one Mastery skill is "viable" - Ball Lightning.
If I, for example, wanted to go with Spark for Basic Skill (to attack from range and not melee like Arc Lash forces you to) and Chain Lightning as the main damage source, I'm already setting myself up for failure because Arc Lash has far better base scaling and hits many more enemies.
Chain Lightning only seems to have (correct me if I'm mistaken here) a single "decent" Legendary effect and of course it's not an obtainable Aspect from a Dungeon but a rare-ass drop that I haven't found a single one of for nearly 60 levels so far.
I really enjoy Vyr's Mastery for the visual chaos of unleashing all spells Lightning-related but if I want to go with Spark, then I can't go with Vyr's Mastery because then I won't benefit its bonus to Close Enemies, which means I'm forced to go with Overflowing Energy, which starts to build into Crackling Energy instead.
Maybe I'm too dumb to grasp these things but it seems to me like if you want to go for something very specific, many of the options available aren't exactly intuitive or relatively easy to put together.
And all that's not even mentioning the Paragon Board, which is a whole other level of complexity in itself (yeah I know you PoE players are probably laughing reading this lol but please realize not everyone's a nitty-gritty math-head min-maxer like you guys are).
There are SOME Chain Lighitning builds out there, whether on YouTube or otherwise, but none of them seem to be nearly as optimized as what Maxroll and their crew seem to be putting out; it's mostly that people were enjoying the well-known "Chain Lightning leveling build" and just went from there, trying out and seeing what sticks.
This has me worried for one reason - if a Chain Lightning build wasn't released on Maxroll, and bear in mind that people who prepared these builds are probably way more into this whole thing than 95% of anyone here on reddit - this most likely means there there isn't even a Chain Lightning build per se, or even if it is, we could expect at most a half performance of what the Arc Lash/Ball Lightning build does, which is too big of a gap to swallow for me.
Shouldn't it be possible to build whatever you want and not fall behind more than 50% of effectiveness behind the best meta builds?
Let me put it like this perhaps - now that I've hit lvl 60s and finally started to see what all the Refund costs amount up to, it starts to dawn on me that it is true what the devs have been saying - you really kinda cannot experiment with respeccing at all, because it will cost nearly all of the gold you currently have and that's beyond fucking dumb that you'd probably be in an easier spot just starting a whole-ass new character instead. I don't want to level a 2nd sorceress from zero (unless I happen to enjoy the Season in D4; that's perfectly fine) and I think that the majority of people share this sentiment.
All that said, please share what you think of Chain Lightning Sorceress build variations and perhaps you have some pointers you would be willing to share? Thank you!
submitted by azurevin to diablo4 [link] [comments]
And even then, only pretty much one Mastery skill is "viable" - Ball Lightning.
If I, for example, wanted to go with Spark for Basic Skill (to attack from range and not melee like Arc Lash forces you to) and Chain Lightning as the main damage source, I'm already setting myself up for failure because Arc Lash has far better base scaling and hits many more enemies.
Chain Lightning only seems to have (correct me if I'm mistaken here) a single "decent" Legendary effect and of course it's not an obtainable Aspect from a Dungeon but a rare-ass drop that I haven't found a single one of for nearly 60 levels so far.
I really enjoy Vyr's Mastery for the visual chaos of unleashing all spells Lightning-related but if I want to go with Spark, then I can't go with Vyr's Mastery because then I won't benefit its bonus to Close Enemies, which means I'm forced to go with Overflowing Energy, which starts to build into Crackling Energy instead.
Maybe I'm too dumb to grasp these things but it seems to me like if you want to go for something very specific, many of the options available aren't exactly intuitive or relatively easy to put together.
And all that's not even mentioning the Paragon Board, which is a whole other level of complexity in itself (yeah I know you PoE players are probably laughing reading this lol but please realize not everyone's a nitty-gritty math-head min-maxer like you guys are).
There are SOME Chain Lighitning builds out there, whether on YouTube or otherwise, but none of them seem to be nearly as optimized as what Maxroll and their crew seem to be putting out; it's mostly that people were enjoying the well-known "Chain Lightning leveling build" and just went from there, trying out and seeing what sticks.
This has me worried for one reason - if a Chain Lightning build wasn't released on Maxroll, and bear in mind that people who prepared these builds are probably way more into this whole thing than 95% of anyone here on reddit - this most likely means there there isn't even a Chain Lightning build per se, or even if it is, we could expect at most a half performance of what the Arc Lash/Ball Lightning build does, which is too big of a gap to swallow for me.
Shouldn't it be possible to build whatever you want and not fall behind more than 50% of effectiveness behind the best meta builds?
Let me put it like this perhaps - now that I've hit lvl 60s and finally started to see what all the Refund costs amount up to, it starts to dawn on me that it is true what the devs have been saying - you really kinda cannot experiment with respeccing at all, because it will cost nearly all of the gold you currently have and that's beyond fucking dumb that you'd probably be in an easier spot just starting a whole-ass new character instead. I don't want to level a 2nd sorceress from zero (unless I happen to enjoy the Season in D4; that's perfectly fine) and I think that the majority of people share this sentiment.
All that said, please share what you think of Chain Lightning Sorceress build variations and perhaps you have some pointers you would be willing to share? Thank you!
2023.06.08 20:06 ThrowRA_6418 My boyfriend (28m) wants to move. I’m (30f) not so sure.
My boyfriend (28m) and I (30f) met online. At the time, we lived 14 hours apart. There was a strong connection and we talked for 6+ months before we decided to give it a serious try. We have been together for 4 years now. The first year, we managed dating long distance. I then made the decision to move in with him and it was rough at first. I come from a very large and very close family and this was the first time that anyone had moved away. It was difficult for me to be so far from them to say the least. I had no friends out there, no relatives even close by, and the group of friends he had at the time were enabling his drinking and substance abuse, which caused lots of tension in our relationship and left me feeling isolated.
Eventually we figured it out. We started making some changes and working towards our goals and I really came to enjoy this new city. I had a good job close to home and made good friends with coworkers. He dropped his old friends, quit the substances, and got ahold of his drinking. He finally began pursuing his hobbies and ended up making lots of supportive friends in this new scene he had become a part of, which welcomed me with open arms as well. However, after two years of living together, he told me that he was unhappy. He hated his job, was not getting along with his family (they aren’t very close and there has always been tension and strong disagreements between them), and he was needing a change.
At first, our plan was to move to a neutral city that is equal distance between both of our hometowns. One night during our planning, he told me he thought it would be a good idea for us to move back to the city that I’m originally from. Despite how much I missed my family, I was not immediately on board with moving back. He seemed excited at the possibilities though, and after a lot of discussion, eventually we agreed to drop our plan of a neutral city in favor of moving to my hometown. We’ve been living here for a year now and it’s been great to be back with my family. They all love him! He gets along so well with my brother and my cousins, and constantly tells me how much he likes them and appreciates being a part of a “real” family.
Last night however, he confessed to me that he is unhappy. He has tried to continue his hobby out here, but the people are not as supportive, and it’s been 5 months since he even tried. There’s also a bit of a language barrier where he works, and he hasn’t been able to make very good friends. He misses his friends back in his hometown as well as the support that his hobby gets. I would not be immediately opposed to moving back if this is what he thinks would make him happy, but after two years of being away from my family when I first moved, I realize how much time I lost.
My grandmother seems so much older now. She’s dealing with several health issues and I know my time with her is limited. My nieces and nephews have all grown so much and I’ve missed out on a lot of bonding time. Our family has finally been getting back to having our traditional Sunday dinners regularly again after Covid put a stop on everything. It’s been so nice to enjoy this time together. I’m lost at what to do, but I can’t say that I don’t see where he’s coming from. I want him to be happy, but I also want to be near my family, and I don’t want to have to sacrifice our relationship in order for both of us to have what we want. Is there any way that I can have my cake and eat it too? 😞
tl;dr - Two years after moving in with my boyfriend (14 hours away from my family), he became unhappy and we decided to move back to my hometown together. Now a year later, he is unhappy once again and wants to move back, but I don’t want to have to leave my family.
submitted by ThrowRA_6418 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Eventually we figured it out. We started making some changes and working towards our goals and I really came to enjoy this new city. I had a good job close to home and made good friends with coworkers. He dropped his old friends, quit the substances, and got ahold of his drinking. He finally began pursuing his hobbies and ended up making lots of supportive friends in this new scene he had become a part of, which welcomed me with open arms as well. However, after two years of living together, he told me that he was unhappy. He hated his job, was not getting along with his family (they aren’t very close and there has always been tension and strong disagreements between them), and he was needing a change.
At first, our plan was to move to a neutral city that is equal distance between both of our hometowns. One night during our planning, he told me he thought it would be a good idea for us to move back to the city that I’m originally from. Despite how much I missed my family, I was not immediately on board with moving back. He seemed excited at the possibilities though, and after a lot of discussion, eventually we agreed to drop our plan of a neutral city in favor of moving to my hometown. We’ve been living here for a year now and it’s been great to be back with my family. They all love him! He gets along so well with my brother and my cousins, and constantly tells me how much he likes them and appreciates being a part of a “real” family.
Last night however, he confessed to me that he is unhappy. He has tried to continue his hobby out here, but the people are not as supportive, and it’s been 5 months since he even tried. There’s also a bit of a language barrier where he works, and he hasn’t been able to make very good friends. He misses his friends back in his hometown as well as the support that his hobby gets. I would not be immediately opposed to moving back if this is what he thinks would make him happy, but after two years of being away from my family when I first moved, I realize how much time I lost.
My grandmother seems so much older now. She’s dealing with several health issues and I know my time with her is limited. My nieces and nephews have all grown so much and I’ve missed out on a lot of bonding time. Our family has finally been getting back to having our traditional Sunday dinners regularly again after Covid put a stop on everything. It’s been so nice to enjoy this time together. I’m lost at what to do, but I can’t say that I don’t see where he’s coming from. I want him to be happy, but I also want to be near my family, and I don’t want to have to sacrifice our relationship in order for both of us to have what we want. Is there any way that I can have my cake and eat it too? 😞
tl;dr - Two years after moving in with my boyfriend (14 hours away from my family), he became unhappy and we decided to move back to my hometown together. Now a year later, he is unhappy once again and wants to move back, but I don’t want to have to leave my family.
2023.06.08 20:06 DominusAvidus 38 [M4F] #Maryland - Professional seeking fun younger girl
About me: 38, attorney, attentive, intelligent, and sensual. Also tall and have a great head of hair.
About you: smart, nubile, and libidinous. Sweet but with a naughty side. Hopefully looking for something exclusive. Ideally located near me...
submitted by DominusAvidus to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]
About you: smart, nubile, and libidinous. Sweet but with a naughty side. Hopefully looking for something exclusive. Ideally located near me...
2023.06.08 20:06 dancing-stars I still think about my high school sweetheart.
I (27F) still think about my ex from high school regularly. In high school I dated D for less than a year but I loved him dearly. At that time I unknowingly was suffering from bipolar disorder with manic episodes. Near the end of our relationship I went through the most severe episode I’ve had to date. I was lying, mean and started cheating on him. He knew and was so patient with me but I finally pushed him to far and he ended our relationship. The way I acted was so unlike me and I deeply regret my actions and it haunts me. I wish I could apologize to him and tell him it wasn’t his fault. I currently have been in a long term relationship and have 2 kids with my current partner and we’re extremely happy; he’s also been in a relationship and has had his first child (I don’t stalk him I’m just social media friends with his partner) but I’ve held on to this guilt all this time.
submitted by dancing-stars to offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 20:05 sillahmorgan Am I
So we tried to have at the end of January. But he didn't come inside me at all. But pre ejaculated near me. I did a blood test that cane back negative. And have done multiple drug stor tests that cane back negative. Have no other symptoms of pregnancy. Have been getting my period at normal times. But last month I 2qw 4 days late. I feel kicks in ny left lower quadrant and movement in my left lower quadrant and below my belly button.
submitted by sillahmorgan to amipregnant [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 20:05 YAYmothermother me😔irlgbt
 | submitted by YAYmothermother to me_irlgbt [link] [comments] |