Zack and cody mom

Curious on everyone else’s thoughts on this. I’m someone who has been around addiction, and have people close to me battling it.. and I do not agree with it AT ALL.
I do understand and agree with her being worried due to Spencers issue with addiction in the past, but I def think there were ways to make sure it doesn’t lead to an issue. It’s good she said she’d be there for her for anything she needs.. but obviously there could be things that she can’t help her with or she may need more help with than she can get from her mom. She could’ve kept a daily count on them. She even could have kept them with her locked up, and gave her 1 at night or when she was struggling. She could’ve talked more with the doctors to get other options. Literally anything, besides just not allowing her to have anything.
Spencer says she needs it and her mom responds with “No, you want it. There’s a difference”. I’m sorry.. whahuh??
Even worse… At this point Veronica has no idea what all the girls had gone through.. what all happened other than being arrested for something they didn’t do, getting into an accident in the van they were in so someone could kidnap and keep them in an underground bunker for however long. I mean… That alone is pretty traumatic, and could cause someone to need help with anxiety.
BUT…
Considering she knows a lot of the horrible things this person has done to them.. and the lengths they went to kidnap them.. she actually has NO idea what happened while they were gone, what all they went through. She has to know it had to have been some TERRIBLE things though.. So how could she possibly know whether Spencer would “need” them or just “want” them. She can’t! That’s SOOO frustrating!!
Anyone else?

I'd rather she just say she hates me entirely cause she's always condescending with it, acting like I need help and saying she's worried about me. My dad finds it funny that I like harassing people, but my mom has that attitude.

New mom here and I’ve noticed people provide unsolicited crazy advice. All. The. Time. What’s the craziest you’ve heard?
I’ll go first: My husbands grandma told me that I need to remove pacifiers and bottles from my LO’s mouth sideways or else the soft spot on my LO’s head is going to sink in and it’ll give him fussiness and diarrhea. Lol.

Hi I’m 20 I’m a student and I still live at home. My parents are divorced and I was disowned from my dads side of the family because of the divorce . I don’t really have another housing option. I don’t pay any house bills or rent. I’m not the tidiest but I’m working on trying to do more around the house and be a little neater with my things. I have plans to move out when I graduate school. I do buy my own groceries pay for my car,phone bill,and school. I also have a full time job. I help out a lot with my younger sister when she’s here and babysit when ever I’m asked to. My mom recently got a new boyfriend and has loud obnoxious sex every night. (It’s comically loud) She also likes to tell me about it. I asked nicely if she could maybe keep it down and that I wasn’t really comfortable with her telling me about her sex life. She said she would not be quieter because she does everything in this house and pays the bills and she can do what she wants which is understandable. So I invested in some really expensive high quality noise canceling headphones and they worked for awhile except now my mom and her boyfriend are louder then the headphones. I feel like I’m doing what I can to not have to listen and I think it’s really inappropriate and immature to have loud obnoxious sex while your daughter is in the room across the hall 😐. I talked to her about it she said that I’m funny and I can find somewhere else to live if I think it’s gross. I thought my request was reasonable I’m not saying she has to be quiet I’m just saying I’d like to not hear her over the headphones. Wich I think is a reasonable boundary. Unfortunately she still tells me about the sex I had to listen to the night before!!!!!!! I feel like an asshole to keep asking her to try to keep it down because it’s her house but it’s also my house. Am I the asshole for telling my mom I’m not interested in her sex life? And that she needs to be quiet? Is this normal it doesn’t feel like a normal issue ?

For what purpose? Why would the employer need to know about my mom/dad/brothesister?
One time I left it blank, and HR emailed me back asking to fill those out. I mean, I'm applying for a tech support job would the FUCK would you need to know what my mom's job is, what position, what company, etc? Legit they ask these stupid question that I feel is very intrusive. How about I NOT disclose anything about my family/friends? Work people are not your friends and they definitely don't need to know anything about the people in my personal life.

First, I’ll start by addressing the people in this story:
Me (15F)
Cece (15F)
Lia (16F)
​
Currently, I’m on spring break. Last Friday is when this all went down. For context, me and Cece share a birthday (we’ve known this for a while and it’s always been a running joke. This is crucial to the story). As friendships do in highschool, ours started getting strained. None of it is really important to the context other than Cece had gotten the habit of giving me the silent treatment for weeks on end and getting pissed when I asked what was wrong. To this day, I’m still confused as to what I did in those times I was ignored; she refuses to tell me.
I have a very close friend named Lia who I’ve bonded with for about two years now (we’re both theatre nerds and consider eachother best friends). At the start of this year, Lia and Cece started talking (all three of us share a class) and got kind of close but never the type of bond me and Lia had.
Last Friday is when the real drama starts. I’ve discussed with Cece in the past that on my (our) birthday I never leave home and dedicate the day to hanging out with my mom. She starts talking in our shared class with Lia about her birthday party and tells us that we’re both invited. I ask the date so I can confirm on my calendar if I’ve got anything going on that day. (Word for word) Cece says this: “(our birthday), but I don’t think you’ll be able to go saying as you said you’re usually home that day”
I look at her and watch as she smiles and turns back to Lia, who (unaware of what just went down) confirms she has nothing that day and happily tells Cece she’ll be there.
I’m torn right now and have been obsessing over this since. On the one hand, maybe that was the only date she could throw the party. On the other hand, we had a whole two and a half weeks of Spring break which she could have chosen from, yet she picked a day she knew I couldn’t go. AITB?

I met this guy on grnder in early february, we hooked up once, then a few more times, Id spend longer each time. A few times then we went to get a drink near his place or watch a movie. Did some other things as a 'date' I guess.,Then I started spending the night and did that a few times. Everything's been nice but very casual, intentions of a relationship was never brought up and he gives me mixed signals. For example, he rarely texts me unless I do first. We don't really chit chat a lot outside of when we're hanging out and he doesn't seem to make a lot of effort with texting. We're both also still on grinder, he's on there a lot.
and then last night, we went to see a movie and after we left he said his mom and her boyfriend were having drinks and asked if I wanted to go join them.. so I met his mom. It was light and fun, very causal, they talked about family things sometimes and I felt included. But now Im very confused on his intentions... he seems to keep it very casual but then introduces me to his mom who he always said he was pretty close to. Is that normal and I'm just overthinking about everything? Is 2 months too soon to meet his parents? I want to just relax and don't worry about labels but the mixed signals are hammering in my head
thanks for outside perspectives, appreciated
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For me it seems that my depression comes from anxiety, and anxiety comes from a fear of not "already being where I should be." I believe this may be caused by genetic factors but triggered and exacerbated by the circumstances around my teenage adult years.
For context I'm 33 M. I was homeschooled in my life. My parents split when I was 5, dad is a special ed teacher and used to be a pro musician with some success. Mom is uneducated and has low self esteem. Mom remarried neuropsychologist, dad was absent. Mom divorced psychologist when I was 15. Then immediately started dating another guy and decided to move in with him ASAP, I begged her not to as it was too much transition but she chose that over me. I went to a couple years of public school but dropped out and got my GED because I was too depressed. Moved out when I was 18. Worked some random jobs-- vintage store, butcher. Practiced guitar. Took some bs community college courses. By 21 I started a band, ended up touring the country with fair success but it didn't continue to build. I had Quit my jobs and lived cheap during this time. Did that til I was 26/27. Band started to dissipate as everyone was tired of the road. It was a good time sometimes but I had cyclical depression and always felt like I was an imposter, and trying to "be a musician" sometimes felt like it was killing me. I spent some time at my dads house once that band dissipated and I just relaxed and painted and played music and ate well and I was no longer depressed. I met a guy who wanted to play this super niche style of music I was into and bam all the sudden I had a music project again. Did that for 2 years hard. Played 300 gigs (corner of restaurant "blue collar" musician gigs) in 2018 and was totally burned out although I did make a lower middle class living doing it. Super depressed I was looking for an escape and somehow found a friend who got me in at a small tech company testing software. Which despite having no degree or experience I somehow was good enough at. That got my confidence back up and freed me up from the pressure of "being a musician." But after about 6 months I started to long for my own thing and began working to book more gigs and develop my career. By the end of the year I was dying trying to gig all the time and work at the company. Then Covid hit in 2020 and I got laid off and lived on unemployment. With the goal of taking my next music project forward I came out of the pandemic swinging and recorded an album and released it and played all over my region -- festivals clubs etc -- had the best possible 2022 it could've been. Then it was over and winter came and I was depressed again. The idea of continuing trying to be a musician when I go thru these depressions is sickening cause I know I won't consistently do a good job and eventually I'll be bitter.
Anyway I'm ranting telling a snapshot of my life story-- but all of this to say-- I feel as if I've been running in a sort of survival/fight or flight mode for most of my teen and adult life. I've oscillated between periods of extreme focus and energy and productivity --all based around the idea that if I worked hard enough I could get myself to be a "successful" (examples: as a musician that meant to have a team of folks that kept my career on track and I could just perform, and be making 60k + a year and be adored and loved because of my abilities etc.) -- and period of absolute low self esteem, hopelessness and "why have I chosen this path I don't even like music", a soul crushing depression and anxiety cluster that makes me want to not exist. Also to note it's not even fully about the money -- it's like I don't enjoy the music anymore and music is a life consuming vocation when you feel the need to not be broke which I do. I'm not doing bad considering : I have 35k in a Roth, 25 k in a brokerage, and around 60k in cash saved. But I don't feel like I have a life. When I'm loving it I'm fully focused on music and when I'm not I'm desperately trying to find some way to escape.
That's where I am now. I'm on meds and all that too. But apart of me is wondering if I quit my life, go back and live at my dads house where there is always healthy food and nature, get a really good exercise routine going and stop this insane hustle I've been in, then once im recovered calmly go get an education in a field that interests me and would allow me to make decent money and then get a job I feel qualified for and more or less integrate into society in the normal way-- would I cure this awful anxiety and depression that surrounds the uncertainty of "my place in the world " and stress of trying to make money as a musician and set me up with a more sane and structured life? Or would I probably be just as depressed and sad doing anything once the stress / pressure of any job or school came back --no matter if I took time to try and reset my nervous system by taking all the pressure off-- then I'd be like "fuck why did I walk away from the cool music stuff I had built?"
TLDR-- does anyone have any experience with literally walking away from your current life while depressed and recovering with no pressure (a privilege I know) then re entering society and changing how you live/what you do?

My mother is a narc. I realized that in 2008 when I got married and she tried to ruin the wedding for me and my husband ( in addition to other previous incidents that naively didn’t comprehend ) for months after that I tried to understand what was the reason for her behavior and did some research online and finally understood why. As with narc ppl she tried to turn everybody including family members and relatives from both sides ( her family , my brother family even tried to brainwash my mother in law ) against me. My father is clearly a puppet in her hands. Not to bore you with the details I went NC with her and LC with dad for a few years. In 2018 I was diagnosed with congenital heart disease , my dad with prostate cancer and my husband with hypertension within weeks. My relationship with my dad became a bit better especially that mom left him to go overseas and stay with my brother who was on a scholarship. I spoke to my sisters again. I had an open heart surgery in 2019. My father had therapy and became stable and is following up routinely. After a while my narc mom tried to pull strings again. My relationship with everybody became strained and honestly I was afraid my life will be ruined by my mom interfering so I went to very LC again I was ok with this very LC situation for a while ( especially that I have been having other health problems : removed a benign tumor two months ago ) but then I learned that my father have cardiac problems a few weeks ago. He is taking some kind of infusion every 3 months. I used to take care of his follow up with doctors and appointments for prostate Ca in the hospital I used to work in until things became strained because of mom and I resigned anyway. My father is almost 80yrs old. I’m thinking that may be not a lot of time is left, but every time I try to come close my mom pops in and try to manipulate things and twist them to her advantage. Sometimes I think the best thing is to stay LC. Sometimes I feel worried, sad and anxious about my father. I really don’t know what to do now. I’m under a lot of stress. I feel like I’m gonna collapse soon. I don’t think there is a solution as long as my mom is in the pic. Any advice or love is very much appreciated. Note : ESL , also I feel so depressed so my thoughts are all over the place, sorry .

Me and my husband are on the verge of divorce. We are high school sweethearts and have been married for 15 years with 2 kids. l am a stay at home mom. I worked while he went to school and stayed home once we started having kids. I have an anxious attachment style and he has an avoidant attachment style. For the first 12 years of our marriage I had to learn how to cope feeling like my thoughts, needs and feelings didn’t matter to him. I finally felt like I didn’t think I could do it anymore and he could see that he was on the edge of losing me so he got therapy…after a lifetime of feeling numb Therapy mixed with medications started helping him feel things and it was too much apparently and he started gambling and lost tens of thousands of dollars, while that was going on I was left trying to stop him from spiraling our finances and family into the ground.
Gambling is illegal in the state we live in so him and his friend had to drive one state over (2hours from home) and it became a couple times a month thing. Anyways, we kept working on it to come up with plans like spending limits, he puts his winnings back into the bank account to recover from his losses etc. I was trying to meet him in the middle and he basically just constantly lied and abused it. He would withdraw more at an ATM when he knew he reached his limit, he got sneaky with things like paying for stuff for work then keeping the reimbursements to use for gambling or borrowing money from this friend and trying to covertly have money transferred on payday to pay him back. Long story short, he’s a horrible liar and I’m very observant and always found everything out.
He started dabbling in random drugs that anyone would give him things like addarol, tobacco packets, stealing my klonopin that I need for my anxiety attacks (anxiety attacks that only started in the last couple years with the worse he’s gotten) mixing it with alcohol etc. It was really weird and out of character. This friend that he does all these things with is an absolutely horrible person, friend and abusive to his own wife. For a long time my husband could hold his own and I hoped he didn’t start becoming like his friend but that’s exactly what’s happened. Recently I find out he’s watching porn and it’s not something that’s ever been a part of our relationship. When I told him how it made me feel, he promised not to do it anymore, 3 weeks later I caught him watching it again and he claimed that it had been a while since we talked about it so he didn’t think it was a big deal. I guess I was supposed to remind him daily not to watch the porn?!
We’ve been through multiple couples counselors and therapists and he always wants to switch because they start telling him that he’s the problem essentially and he doesn’t like that. Our most recent therapist really called him out on a lot and we haven’t been back since. The past two years or so I stopped protecting him and his bad behavior because I got so tired of hearing about how amazing he was and how lucky I am to have him and I started talking to my mom about our problems due to me feeling so isolated and alone and needing someone to talk to. We have been through so much and it’s mostly him making bad choices, choosing friends over his family, and overall just treating me really bad. I even recently had a consultation with a divorce lawyer and coincidentally my husband requested a consultation at the same time I was having one, we have since decided to keep trying. My entire 15 year marriage I have felt incredibly lonely and unloved with no emotional intimacy but if I wasn’t giving him enough sex then we would have even more issues. He would only say that he can’t have any of that other stuff without sex while I am the opposite but when I did make theneffort to make it regular, nothing ever changes on his end. My mom is dying of lung cancer right now and is been extremely hard on me. Even on my hardest and saddest days he still doesn’t really do much to help or uplift me.
Recently I booked a trip to do an exotic car driving experience in Las Vegas his birthday and he excluded me from it because of the issues we were having. I was making an effort and invited his friend (the problem) friend to come with so they could do it together but now I’m excluded. I would have NEVER gotten them a trip to go alone. This caused problems between us and he finally said that if I want to go then I could go and his friend wouldn’t. I said try I wanted to go and now he’s saying he’s not sure. I know he was trying to placate me thinking I wouldn’t say I’d go. Then tonight I see messages between him and this friend that happened earlier in the week with the both of them calling me a narcissist and that just sent me over the edge. I really wanted to make this work because he’s the love of my life and we’ve always had so much more love, trust and transparency and now we have none of that. He’s locked his phone and turned off his location and location sharing is something we have done our entire marriage. I feel so lonely, love deprived, emotional intimacy deprived and hopeless. This friend of his is 100% instrumental in the downfall of our marriage. Today I asked him if he would end his friendship with this guy to save our marriage and he said no.
Writing this out I see that it seems so simple what I should do so why does it feel so hard?! I’ve been with him since I was a teenager I don’t know how to be without him. Whats in store for me after divorce? Will I even find anyone better?

These are pretty small examples but they've been happening more and more frequently and I'm worried since I'm going to be leaving for college soon and don't want our time together to end badly.
So I'm in high school and my sister is in middle school. One thing about her is that she's very outspoken and opinionated, which mostly manifests in petty arguments with our youngest sibling, who is close to her age. However since we as a family have started spending more time together she's also snapped at me a few times. Some examples off the top of my head are when she snidely said "You can talk and make dumplings at the same time" when I paused temporarily to tell my dad something, and when she rolled her eyes at me when I asked her to not keep the family snacks in her own work area (she still hasn't stopped even when my mom told her the same thing).
The problem is that I hate conflict and I'm absolutely sure that if I just said she's was being rude, she'd start attacking me just as she does to anyone who criticizes her and it would devolve into name-calling. I think part of it is just the middle schooler attitude of "I'm trying to be cool and fire snappy comebacks against anyone who appears to be attacking me" which I can empathize with, but good god is it annoying sometimes. I think her behavior is also partially due to her expectation of me affirming her every feeling and concern since I'm her older sister, and I don't know how I'd go about handling that either.

I know i come on too strong when i like a guy- but how am i supposed to know what the appropriate level of interest to show is? its so confusing. my mom always tells me to take things slowwww which i try to do; but i suck and the whole being coy thing. i only know how to say what i feel, which makes me sound so deadpan. where is everybody getting these lines???

I identify as nonbinary (they/them) but tend to present female. Or at least I don’t correct people who don’t necessarily know better if I don’t think they’re an ally. I just had a baby in January and I had been searching for NB titles for my kiddo to call me all through my pregnancy. I ended up really liking “renny/ren” which is short for “parent”.
I am out to my family and in-laws, and while they don’t criticize me for it they also don’t support it. We just tend to avoid the topic altogether. I love them to pieces and it just hurts too much to have those conversations. They’re not people I am willing to cut out of my life.
Becoming a parent has been a lifelong goal of mine and an uphill battle. During my daughter’s birth we both very nearly died, so having her survive and us both come out unscathed was a miracle and everyone’s been over the moon for us. However, they don’t realize how uncomfortable I feel when they call me “mom” or “mommy” or similar names in their congratulations. I don’t want to correct or chastise because it’s always well-intentioned and I don’t enjoy bringing up the gender issue with them.
The other issue is that I don’t get to enjoy buying cutsie outfits or anything about being her parent without “mommy and me” plastered all over everything. I also feel weird rejecting the “mom” title but still wanting to celebrate mother’s day as I thought I might never get to have a baby and I do resonate with being the person who birthed her even if I don’t resonate with the traditional title. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle here. Should I push for my gender neutral title and lose out on connecting in certain ways? Or just go by “mom” and compartmentalize the dysphoria?
TLDR; Idk whether to go by a gender neutral title I like but will be hard to get ppl to comply to or just go by the traditional “mom” and feel weird but included.

I need some advice. I feel like I was discriminated on by the court for child custody in Utah. I had to take my BM to court for full custody of my daughter 3 different times. Each time in court she had active warrants out for her arrest and had no job and was not able to provide a stable environment. Fast forward 9 years she’s disappeared my bm not one word from her. I don’t get child support and the court is not enforcing it and garnishing her or etc. If it was the other way around I would of definitely been made to pay child support each month. I feel like it’s bullshit and I want to sue but idk what to do or how to do it. I have full custody both legal and physical. I feel I’m entitled to child support just like the moms out their that get it

I was cleaning my son's room, since he had went to stay the night at my ex wife's house with his sister, visiting. Anyway, I was picking up and long story short, I found a vape pen. I'm not sure what to tell him, because I'm a smoker, so it's just a toss up, so to speak, of what I should tell him. I'm not the best father, not because I abuse my kids or anything, but I was there for them when they were younger and still am, but you know how kids distance themselves (usually) front the parents when they reach a certain age. Moreover, I recently got full custody of my son about 3 yrs ago. His mom gave up her guardianship to her mom when he was 4 yrs, because the asshole she was with, made her. In addition, when he was living with his grandma (his mom's mom) during the week and with me on weekends, he became feminine and just last month, cams out ro me that he's gay. So there is also that. We had that talk and I just don't want him to think I'm being a certain way now, thinking I have an excuse to raise my voice to him. Although I do that rarely when needed. Anyway, any advice helps, serious, comical or whatever

I (M14) am genuinely scared of my sister (12F). She has threatened me with knives before and manipulated my entire family. She has emotionally and verbally abused me over and over again. And she always gets violent when she doesn’t get her way. She gets in fights with my parents at least twice a day, and hits them often. She’s tried to burn down the house with a match before but luckily we found her and stopped her, and her reasoning was that she was “upset because we took away her screen time” after she had thrown her phone across the room. Whenever my sister comes near me, I feel genuinely scared. My heart literally feels like it sinks in my chest. Another time, she called the cops to our house all because my mom didn’t buy McDonalds for dinner, and when they got there, she said she “felt her throat closing” but was miraculously fine a few minutes later. Another example of this behavior was last week when at 2 am she came into my room asking for arts and crafts supplies and I said I didn’t have any but she took scissors from my room of the shelf, I didn’t know they were there, and threw them at me. Luckily she missed. My parents and I try to control her, but nothing works. She has a therapist who is amazing, but my sister acts completely differently in front of her. All in all, my sister scares me. Today I closed my eyes when she walked behind me, and I felt panicked. It didn’t stop until I made sure she wasn’t going to hurt me. And I can’t blame my parents either, because they’re amazing and are doing everything to try and stop her. But if they punish her, she gets violent and fights, which is why they get in fights with her twice daily. How can my family and I get her under control?

My best friends and I have known each other for 10 years. Its been the three of us since school. Ill call them S and J in this. All of us have gone through a lot together and grown up a lot since school. I’m in college now while the both of them are working. The issue lies with S. Lately, S has been a lot more difficult to be around.

1. She’s tends to be self absorbed. She manages to make every point of conversation about her (not that big of a deal but gets annoying).
2. Doesnt take the time to plan things out and makes everyones life harder because of it. She doesnt plan ahead of time what she needs to bring and how she is going to get to a certain place. Her and I had to walk a long distance bcs she wanted to put her bag in J’s car when she could’ve done it earlier.
3. She doesnt have a car or license so she often asks us for car rides. She lives 40 minutes away roundtrip. She does offer to pay gas money but it gets exhausting heading out just to send her when there are public transportation, her mom, her sisters and other ways she can use to get where she needs to go.
4. When we go out to party, she dances with guys she isnt into and then complain our ear off about how the guy wouldnt stop hogging her space while at the same time doesnt make the effort to stop him. I can see she is uninterested in the guy and ask her if shes okay, if she wasnt i wouldve pulled her away but she says she’s fine and have her arms around him and everything and then later complain about him to us.
5. Partying way too much. We used to go to the club once a month. Now we go every week because of her. The only time i see my bffs are in the club and thats just sad. Thats all she wants to do nowadays. Ive tried initiating outings where we go to cute cafes or do literally anything else but the plans falls through.
6. Reckless behaviour. She goes to strange random flings houses. Its a new guy every week and both J and I have never met them before. When we ask her where and whose house she’s going to, shes very vague and secretive saying things like “a friend” “someone”. She also doesnt send her location or any info when she does this. She’s lost her phone in the club bcs she put it in her flings back pocket (that she had only met once before) despite me offering to hold onto it. Was literally unbothered about losing her phone and instead took care of drunk fling while I was stuck looking for it the entire night. Mind you he had a group of his friends with him that were more than able to take care of him.

Ive talked to J at length about this and she had way more things to say as S often stays over at J’s house but I’m just sticking to what I’ve experienced. J and I almost had an intervention for her but it fell through bcs although J is annoyed at her lately too, she doesn’t think its too bad though I can see its starting to tick her off. We’re both not good with confrontation. We’ve wracked our brains to see why or what set her off to start behaving like this and we’ve let her know time and time again to talk to us about anything. It could be that shes just trying to act out a bit since she just got out of a long term relationship (they ended amicably).
Idk im stuck in this place of where its not that big of an issue and i can overlook some stuff. On the other hand, its also getting on my nerves a bit however if im the only one out of J and I to bring it up then its going to make it seem like I have something against her. How do I bring this up to her or is it just not even worth the effort and i should cut my losses?
TLDR: My best friend of 10 years has been difficult to be around lately with her excessive partying and reckless behavior and it’s getting on our nerves. What’s the best way to approach this or is the friendship just not worth saving?

So I'm 22M, and my 17 year old neighbour guy who's a jerk braught a 15 year girl home who ran away from home bcos she hates studying. Now they're married (or not, but at least that's what they said). Don't be surprised for their age bcos this is very very common. People just hide it. More than half girls in my neighborhood got married underage (willingly) a 14 year old girl ran away to marry a 27 year old but police found it and stopped it. My 13 year old cousin getting marrige proposal from late 20's guys.
Anyway First 1 week whole neighbourhood was cursing them , mocking them. After 2 months now evryone praising them, how beautiful she's how lucky he's etc. I feel bad for her. She's exactly the type of girl who is going to be slave for her husband and his parents and get beaten up rest of her life.
And since then my mom bomberding me sayings like he's lucky he got someone good looking . She doesn't even go anywhere. always stay in home where will you get someone like her. I can't cook always. All girls r bad nowdays.
It's already hard enough for me seeing all this , makes me feel more lonely and then my mom's constant whining, cursing girls, u need to get married. Nobody will marry u if u late blah blah blah. It's like since he got a girl now i look like a looser to people but i just want to focus on career. I'm onto something great. He's gonna stay poor labour and beat his wife and kids rest of his life. That's not living, just staying alive. How can you start a family when you haven't lived life alone and seen the world or understand yourself properly?
So i told her this, " I'm going to tell you first and last time, listen carefully. I don't want to hear one more word about my marriage, i will marry when and who i want to. You have told me everything you had to, gave me every suggestion. Now if i do right or wrong it's on me. Don't worry about my marriage, And don't expect I'll marry someone so she will cook for you guys. No she won't. You will cook as long as u can . Then I'll get you a maid. She will cook for u guys occasionally if we live together sometime at same house but you can't expect it as her duty & stop telling me how girls are nowdays and stop your crying whining. You have done enough for me and thanks for that. But not a word about my future partner, I'll handle it"
Honestly i want to get married but i don't like their attitude and constantly talking about it. It mess with my head everytime they talk shit about girls. I put headphones on and try not to listen.

Tldr how do I make solo bedtimes work with 2 under 2?
My first is almost 2 (will be in june) and my 2nd is 2 months old currently. I've been struggling hard with how to handle bedtime routines. The main issue being that my husband and co parent works until 10 pm, he works from home so luckily he's available immediately. My firsts bedtime is at about 8:30 to 9 ish, hopefully she's at least in bed around 9 and she wakes up in the morning by 9 and has a 1.5 hour nap during the day. My 2nd is only 2 months old so we haven't really established a nap schedule or bedtime routine yet.
I am very fortunate to live in a good roommate situation and one of my roommates has helped with my 2nd a tremendous amount. She watches my 2nd while I put my first to bed. This leads to a couple issues though. Those being 1 he is asleep by the time I'm done with the 1st so I can't start establishing a bedtime routine, 2 she puts him to sleep where she is comfy which happens to be downstairs and not in his bassinet so moving him always has issues or I stay up too late waiting for him to wake on his own, 3 it's taking a huge toll on my mental health. I don't know why having someone else take care of him while I take care of her is tanking my mental health but it is. I guess it kind of makes me feel like I'm not a "real" mom because a "real" mom wouldn't have someone there to help her and would have to just figure it out. It also probably doesn't help that my first has been having a rough time going to sleep lately, we've been weaning her off of being fed to sleep so there's some nights that she takes an hour plus to go to sleep and I have to tag out with my husband so then I don't put either kid to bed and feel utterly useless.
Anyways, any other moms with 2 under 2 have advice on how to handle solo bedtimes or anything I can do to make this easier? My second does like the wrap/carrier that I have for him but he doesn't like when I lean over a bunch or smush him by sitting down for long periods of time and those 2 things are basically all I'm doing for my firsts bedtime so I don't think the wrap would work.