●Night terrors ●Anxiety (Of course) ●Constant migranes. ●Panic Attacks. ●Stomach Cramps. ●Depression. ●Makes it easier to deal with selfish people ●To enhance my quality of life ●Manages stress levels
For as long as I can remember, (at least since I was 5, as far back as my 25 year old memory can recall) I've had a serious problem with night terrors. Sometimes it would be big scary monsters trying to eat me, but these Night Terrors would mostly consist of images of body horror. Images of vile and grotesque mutations straight out of John Carpenter's The Thing or the 1988 remake of The Blob, even though I didn't see those films until I was 18. I would remember waking up shivering and shaking uncontrollably (as if I woke up in fucking Antarctica,) profusely sweating, and loudly whimpering or sometimes crying depending on the Potency of the Night Terror; sometimes I would wake up my parents and my dad would barge in and tell me to shut the hell up, grow a pair, and go back to sleep. For whatever reason, 2 particular Night Terrors have stuck with me since I was 4 years old. I woke up at like 3 something in the morning, my eyes snapped open just like Squidward, I couldn't move, lift my arms, or even speak; the entire room spun violently a 360° rotation.
The second was maybe when I was 5. I had these visons of a woman in a dilapidated alleyway being terrorized by someone or something. I remember feeling horrified by what I was seeing. I felt even worse that I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't move any muscles or really make any speach while I was having these visions. Then all I remember are images of possibly the same woman lying on the floor with her ribcage and internal organs exposed. Then I remember waking up, with the aforementioned reaction: shaking and whimpering. Afterwards, when I worked up the wherewithal to leave my room with my stuffed animal in my arms, I just intended to get something to drink and at least TRY to go back to bed. But then when I walked into the living room, my father was on the couch watching TV. It must have been either 6 or 7 in the morning, but my father was watching a show in which 2 contestants would bring their Homemade Remote Control Robots to fight one another in a duel. My father seemed happy to see me and asked if I wanted to watch the Robot Fights. I said yes, I told him I had a really bad dream and that I wanted to get my mind off of it, and that was all I remembered from that morning.
I had these visions when I was at least 5 even though I didn't even learn about human anatomy until I reached 1st grade. One day, me and my whole class were told by our teacher to follow her to a different classroom on the other side of the School. We followed in a single file line, talked 1st grade shit with one another, and arrived at the next classroom. The Teacher told us that we're at a science class to learn about the Human Body. Of course us being 1st Grade kids just nodded our heads and we went inside; almost instantly, one of the girls screamed while pointing at something on the bookshelf. A "tough boy" said, "I look like that?" It was a full colored plastic figure of the Human Body with no skin. The Muscular System, internal organs and all. Strangely I had very little reaction. I didn't know how I was supposed to react. So the teacher calmed us down, directed us to our seats, and I honestly can't remember anything else after that. I knew what skeletons were and what they looked like, but not the muscles and internal organs. Strange enough when I was either 4 or six. I had an Ancient Egypt Lego set with the Lego Skeleton minifigures, and I thought that they were both cute and badass. If that combination is even possible. (Definitely in anime)

If you have read David Goggin’s “Can’t Hurt Me” he talks about this phenomenon many times to exemplify the power of an armored mind. But he is no ordinary guy and a good example is that the motherfucker did SEAL BUDS training on 2 broken shins after taping up his feet. He really wanted it and muscled thru because it was his last shot.
He described 30 minutes of the most excruciating pain a man can go thru before a breakthrough moment would occur and he would no longer be in pain.
David Goggins is a specimen, and I am nowhere close to his level of mental fortitude. But I feel like I have experienced this phenomenon many times on my Fibromyalgia journey.
The example I want to talk about is being consistent in bodybuilding. I find that on my worst days if I push myself out of bed (extremely hard) and hit the gym, the pain will fade halfway thru. I will push myself to my absolute limits because training close to failure is optimal for hypertrophy (muscle growth.) I feel great after a workout for 20-30 minutes before soreness takes hold and i feel miserable.
I’m not saying go tits or dicks out, rest and recovery are important. I cope with lyrica, cbd flower, ketamine therapy, and a shit load of Ibuprofen. I can go only a month and a half max training (5x a week) this way before my body craps out and i can’t push thru it anymore. I take a 1-2 week break. In the past I didn’t take the break and got really depressed and got migraines, leading to months of not training.
I used to be in bed for weeks listening completely to how i felt, only getting up if i was about to burst from needing to use the bathroom or for my 1 daily meal. I lived in that depressed hell for months, and i found not pushing yourself = not getting better.
My question is, has anyone else experienced this phenomenon? I’m not invalidating anyone’s pain, because it’s very real. I just don’t want fibromyalgia to dictate my entire life anymore, keeping me from doing what i want.

​
Processing video u24xaazuxdra1...
https://www.buzzsprout.com/371360/12222180
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode144

Intro [0:00]

Hello my dears! My name is Johanna, and I welcome you to the Johanna Draconis - The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD podcast.
In this episode we will talk about just wanting peace - an expression often in regards with the marathon that is the healing process. This is part for validation but also helping.
So let us talk about it.
​

Prelude [0:27]

Usually the sentence “I just want peace” is said by the biggest stirrer of chaos and unrest. Usually when they are confronted about their part in the chaos. But in this case it was from a mail I received and it wasn’t the first time I heard it.
While the basics of how to deal with PTSD isn’t that complicated - one of the most brutal aspect is its duration. This is a long fight - a long walk - a marathon - or whatever you want to call it. It takes long and once started you can’t really quit it.
And so the statement of “I just want peace” - is just a sentiment of the exhaustion of this long and difficult journey to finally be over and one can walk again without the burden. Which you got so used to.
The most shocking aspects of being cured were how vivid the colors, intense the smells, comforting my chest was and how light I felt. Even when it returned thanks to survivor’s guilt - I still remember that feeling of lightness and how the heaviness was no longer normal.
We first get into why it is exhausting, what we can do and then some closing words
​

Why it is exhausting [1:48]

The reason why it is exhausting is pretty obvious, but lets see if we can’t add some more. Not only does PTSD often get accompanied by depression, which drains the joy out of your life, but PTSD also drains your energy reserves, harms social interactions and your intake.
This means positive social interactions, positive feedback for accomplishments, from food, drink to positive impressions (like a pretty flower field). It also makes it harder to focus and to regulate your emotions. Additionally you will find it difficult to hope.
In other words: Life is now played on highest difficulty. Often this is also accompanied by a constant pain - often dull and hard to pinpoint, but yet makes you suffer. The interesting thing is, that chronic pain patients also report their low energy levels.
They also say even the smallest task can be huge challenge to accomplish. The constant having to endure the pain costs energy and therefor just drains you. Like cold water constantly drains the warmth of your body.
​

What we can do [3:02]

As so often, let us also dive into what we can do. And the most common advice I usually give is to take it slow - so it is over faster. I know, I still struggle with accepting it as well and love to rush into a hole like everyone else. But what do I actually mean by that?
Well it is the same method I recommend when you feel everything is lost and there is no hope. Make your world as small as it needs to be. Don’t focus on being cured, an event you want to make, the things you plan to do at full strength or the like.
If it hasn’t a deadline that is due soon - just put it aside. Make a list if you worried about forgetting, but otherwise put it aside. As much as you can. Until you literally only focus on the daily activities that have to be: Brush your teeth, eat and sleep.
Everything beyond that is bonus. If you feel like it: Try to achieve at least 1 additional goal. That can be writing a letter or doing the dishes or whatever. If you can do more - even better! Don’t think about tomorrow - just focus on today… on the next step.
Try to keep an eye on the general direction, but otherwise keep looking at your feet. And try to make these steps as enjoyable as you can - as it really helps and keeps the motivation up. As do success moments.
​

Closing words [4:36]

What it wonderfully does is turning this enormous mountain to just taking steps - and what is a journey but a collection of steps? Like how does travel time pass faster, counting down the time remaining or just focusing on doing stuff?
It really changes your perspective and helps so much. The worst part is that this nightmare keeps telling you towards the end that this is a dead end, that you can go no further and it was all futile. All this trouble just to stand in front of a locked door.
And then… it is just all suddenly gone. Like a bad dream - sometimes within minutes. It is not fair to go up against someone who can influence how you feel, what you think about, what you can do and how you receive messages from outside.
Its not fair and just frustrating. I know. But the most important information you need, is that it will be over. And as long as you head in that direction - you will get there. Sooner or later. There is no locked door at the end - that is the final bitter lie.
At the end is a new world and a great strength to tackle it all. For a while you feel invincible and like you can do everything. After all, what are these problems compared what you went through and accomplished? Keep going, keep getting up and you get there.
​

Outro [6:17]

That was it for todays episode, I hope you found it helpful. Hope you are safe and well. And as always, if you have any questions or feedback and the like, please let me know at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]).
More information and transcript you can find as usually under johannadraconis.com and links are in the description.
I hope to see you next time. Watch yourselves and have a wonderful time.

Hello!
I’m a 23-year-old who has been in and out of college a few times, but I’m planning on going back this fall and really wanna stick with it this time until I get my degree. As someone who’s passionate about a lot of things, it has been super difficult to narrow down what I want to spend my life doing. However, I feel that helping animals may be my calling (I’m vegan and one of cultured meat’s many benefits is how it can ultimately reduce overall animal suffering), and am really curious about potentially being a part of progressing the lab-grown meat industry.
Here is a lil background about me: - School has always been a bit of a struggle due to undiagnosed ADHD (finally DXed back in December) - hopefully I can get academic accommodations and such so I can meet deadlines this time around🙂 - I absolutely LOVE writing, and many people have told me that I’m quite gifted in this area - I was originally a journalism major, then switched to psychology - Career tests based off of mental strengths consistently recommend engineering, and while I’m good at math, it’s not something I especially enjoy
Basically, I’m not sure if being the one doing the sciencey stuff would be the best fit for me, but could I maybe get involved as a writer or something else related to the above, or do I really need a strong biology/food science background to be in the cultured meat industry?
Any insights are greatly appreciated, thanks everyone :)

I've seen a lot of posts/lists on here for individual heroes, but I decided it would be neat to see one for a general area of the universe such as cosmic beings (Gods, concepts, etc.) so here we go. There will be some repeats of ones known to exist in Amalgam already, but characters are reused in creative ways and new combinations just like Amalgam proper. I personally will be coming up with these as if they could be fit into the already existing Amalgam canon and interact with the established Amalgam characters, but they could also be applied to a theoretical new continuity. Please comment any neat ideas you may have, either for alternate takes on these characters or new ones in the same wheelhouse!
Thanoseid - Darkseid + Thanos (This one is just too perfect)
Galactiac - Brainiac + Galactus
Oa the Living Planet - Oa + Ego the Living Planet
Night Specter - Nightmare + Specter
The Living Phantom - The Living Tribunal + The Phantom Stranger
The Klyntarians - The Klyntar (symbiotes) + Kryptonians (Basically the Klyntar but their home planet was destroyed like Krypton, scattering them about the galaxy. Bizarnage would be one of these.)
The Anti-Force - The Phoenix Force + Galactus + The Anti-Monitor (A condensation of all of the negative energy from Oa the Living Planet, which Oa separated from itself, turned into pure psychic energy, and sent back to the creation of the universe to die. It survived only by forming a symbiotic bond with the first lifeform, and using said host's physical body to devour the psychic energy of others. It travels from host to host, granting them extreme power in return for satiating its hunger by devouring the psychic energy of whole planets at a time. One day it hopes to grow strong enough to do this to whole universes, and maybe grow strong enough through doing so to manifest a permanent physical form again.)
Death the Blackness - Death (Marvel) + Death the Endless (DC) + Black Racer
Mr. Mexystptlk - Mephisto + Mr. Mxyzptlk (A demonic imp from the fifth dimension who has an unhealthy obsession with Super Soldier and those related to him, including Spider-Boy.)
Eternigon - Trigon + Eternity (Brother of Infinirath, an abstract aspect of all of the evil and ambition in the universe.)
Infinirath - Azar + Azarath + Infinity (Sister of Eternigon, an abstract aspect of all of the goodness and peace in the universe.)
Heimtron the Watcher - Heimdall + Metron + The Watcher (Heimtron is a New Asgod of knowledge, and once sought to share this knowledge with lesser life forms to uplift them. When this backfired disasterously and resulted in the self-destruction of the races he "helped", Heimtron vowed to never again leave his chair or share his knowledge with those who are unworthy. His chair in which he sits is able to summon the Mobius Bridge, which allows passage to and from New Asgard and lets Heimtron observe the whole universe at once.)
The Source Above All - The Source Wall + The One Above All (The creation point/creator of the universe, it is the beginning of all things.)
The Source Below All - Barbados + The Source Wall + The One Below All (The until recently unknown opposite of the Source Above All. It channels its influence through gamma-irradiated zombies in an attempt to open portals to the Dark Universe--the dimension where it resides that is a culmination of all of the fears of the people in the "normal" universe. It particularly torments Skulk and Darkclaw, and pits them against each other for its own ends. It is the end of all things.)
Raother - Rao + The Other (Raother is the Kryptonian god of the sun and 'snarebeasts'--animals they had which were similar to Earth spiders. Spider-Boy talked to this entity after getting his arm ripped off by Morlun and being mortally wounded. Raother told him that he was the lead deity of the planet where Spider-Boy and Super Soldier's powers originated--Krypton--and that he had chosen Spider-Boy as his vessel, which was how the latter even survived being woken up out of his cloning process early. Raother did this so that Peter would be able to carry on the legacy of the dead world in a way that Super Soldier, as a naturally born Earthling who heavily prescribes to Earthling ideals, never could. Peter, however, had rejected Raother subconsciously because his mind was not yet mature enough to comprehend the depths of his own power. Raother said that if Spider-Boy accepted him, he would live, but his human side would die and his Kryptonian side would live on. Spider-Boy accepted and was reborn, fully healed, with new abilities including organic webs that shoot from the tops of his hands and even further enhanced strength.)
The Thani'ar - Thanagarians + The Shi'ar (Bird aliens, man. But they have wings on their backs AND cool triangle hair lol)

Live in California. Bought our house brand new in 2021. A few months after the builder's 1 year warranty expired, our heater started acting up. It'd struggle to maintain set temperature.
We usually set our upstairs thermostat to 73 and downstairs to 72. Occasionally, when it's very cold outside (due to a cold wave, etc), the overnight temps would drop to 67/68F. It seems the thermostats themselves may be working fine: we hear clicking when temps are adjusted, screen shows "Heating", etc, when they send signal to the Carrier gas furnace. However, the furnace doesn't start every time. Even when it does, it runs for sometime and shuts itself off without reaching the set temp. This issue has been present since more than a month.
So, I called a licensed tech last week who went into the attic to investigate. Here was his diagnosis:
"Tested heat upstairs for extended period. Intermittently not working correctly. Drainage, hoses and wiring all appear correct. Sequence of operation makes it past transducer, then relay closes for HSI 1 sec then relay clicks open over 10-15 times with no error code. Carrier tech support & myself believe issue is with control board. Also possible drainage issue. Need unit running constantly to check drainage fully."
He said these new high efficiency heaters are very prone to failures. His suspicion is the control board. Although, he didn't sound very confident about that. He said the whole thing costs $900 to fix, which includes $400 for the part + shipping + return shipping for the broken part + labor. Apparently, the part is covered under Carrier's warranty but shipping is not. So, I would have to pay the full price of the new part, he'd ship the old part back to manufacturer, he'd get a check from them and he'd pay me back within 6 weeks.
I'm a total noob when it comes to HVAC systems. I don't want to get into my attic, figure things out myself and fix them. I don't mind paying pros to get the job done, but at the same time, I want to make sure, with collective wisdom, that we are getting accurate diagnosis and replacing actual broken parts instead of running experiments on my HVAC system with my own money, and that I'm not overpaying.

1. Is it normal to have a control board break so early in its life (<2 yrs old)?
   
2. Could it be something else that's broken based on what I said above?
   
3. Do you guys suggest that I take second opinion?
   
4. Is it normal to pay full price for a new part, get it shipped back to manufacturer and get the check back from the HVAC company?
   

Hey everyone,
Have these books I will be rehoming for good prices. Please stay respectful to each other, and have fun!
Requesting photos in the comments works- Then I will send you an imgur album with a 360 shot of the books and more
Please leave a thread comment first. Paypal goods and services for this sale
Shipping is separate, and your offers welcome.
Have fun, I hope you all enjoy the rest of your day/night!
Timestamp:https://imgur.com/a/0kZqGKH
Lady Snowblood 1-2 $80 G4
Pet Shop Of Horrors 1-10, Tokyo 1-8 $400 G3\\G4
Utena boxset G4\\G5 $140
Ace Attorney complete $425
Ikigami 1-10 G5 a couple are sealed $275
Delicious Dungeon 1-10 G4\\G5 $120
Drrrr 19 volumes G4\\G5 $150
Maximum ride 1-9 + witch $70 G4
Devil is a Part timer 1-18 G5 $140
Light novel 1-11 G5 $70
High school 1-5 G4 $120
All Devil Part timer $300
Puella Magica 37 volume lot G4\\G5 $700
Yugioh 1-38 G4 $400 #15-17 has bumped lower corner G3
Made in Abyss 1-8 minus 6 $180
Pokemon 67 volume lot G4 a couple G3 corner wear $280
Shugo chara 1-12, chan 1-4 G4\\G5 $165
Reiko zombie shop 1-3 G4 $30
Parasyte 1-8, Neo G4 $70
Tenchi 1-10, Sasami G4 $100
Ring 0-2 G4 $43
Juion G4 $32
Re:Monster 1-5 G5 $40
Machimaho 1-2 G5 $15
Lucky star 1-3 G3\\G4 $70
Sorcerer Hunters 1-3 G4 $30
Utena 1-4 G4 $40
Hack 9 volume lot G4 $100
Mushoku Tensai 1-9+ Roxy 1-2 G4 $180
Persona 3-4 21 volume lot G4\\G5 $300
Ubel blatt 1 G4 $15
Alice hearts 1-3 G4 $45
Magical girl raising project 1-2 G5 $20
First love monster 1-2 G5 $20
Big Order 1 G4 $12
Junji ito cat $12
Magical Girl Apocalypse 1-13, site 1 G4 $170
Cardcaptor sakura 1-5 G5 $45
Cardcaptor Omnibus 1-4 G4\\G5 $150
Tomodachi monster 1 $15
Those who hunt elves 1-2 G4 $20
Wolfsmund 1-8 G5 $135
Tokyo Babylon 1-6 G4 $125
Sailor Moon 1-7, V1 G5 $65
Sherlock Bones 1-7 G4 $55
Deathnote 1-13, novel G3 $75
My pathetic vampire life 1-2 G5 $12
Hellsing 8, 9 $45
Ouran HS 1-18 G4 $120
Promised Neverland 1-20 G4-G5 $110
Danganronpa 13 volume lot G4-G5 $99
Megaman 7 volume lot G4-G5 $160
Cells at work box set G5 $50
The story of Saiunkoko 1-9 G4\\G5 $185
Absolute boyfriend 1-4 $25
Devil survivor 1-8 G4 $100
Zelda 15 volume G4 $80
Fuishigi 1-3 G4 $42
Neon Genesis 1-5, Shinji 1-5 omnibus G4\\G5 $225
Afterschool charisma 1-12 G4 $75
Hetalia 1-6 G4 $75
Battle Angel Alita 1-9, Last order 1-15 G4\\G5 $480
Magic Rayearth omnibus 1 G5 $30
Crimson spell 2-5 G4 $30
Pichi Pichi Pitch 1 G4 $28
Sakuran G3\\G4 1 crease on cover $50
My solo\\lesbian G5 $19
Dragon half 1-3 G5 $50
Anima 1-10 G4 $120
Loveless 1-13 G4 $80
Lone wolf and cub half set $200 G3-G4
Color Of Rage sealed $40
Arm Of Kannon 1 Sealed $60
Eden 2 sealed $30 plastic peeled open at corner
New lone wolf 1-4 G4 $80
One Piece -1-100 G4 Omnibus + Singles $525
One Piece 24-100 G4/ mostly G5 $400
Spare 46-70 G5 $110
Triage x 1-3, 6, 8 $45
Emma 1-2 G3 $30 ex lib
Tokyo 1-2 G4 $25
Btoom 25 Sealed $10
One piece omnibus 1-45 with gaps (9 vols) $70 G3/G4 one has writing on bottom side
Inuyasha 1-4, 15, 17-23, 37, 46, 48, 49 G3-G4 A Couple Ex Lib $90
Alice in Murderland 1-3 G5 $80
Dr stone 1-7 G4 $30
Land of the Lustrous 1-3 G4/G5 $25
20th century boys 1 G4 $20
Arm Of Kannon 1-3, 5 G3/G4 $40
Arm of Kannon sealed volume 1 $50
Jyu oh sei 3 G4 $5
Arppegio 4 G4 $20
Clover omnibus G3 $6
Terraformers 1, 3 G4 $15
Mobile Suit thunderbolt 1-2 G4 $15
Blade immortal spares (7) spine fade G3/G4 $33
Oishibo 1 G4 $5
Lone wolf 1988 tpb $18
Wounded man 4 G4 $14
Get backers 12 vols including G4 #25 $100
Get backers 25, Infinity 1-2 $85 G5
Samurai kyo 12 vols $65
Jojos manga (9) G5 $75
Gunslinger girl 1-3 G2 $8
Fullmetal alchemist HC 1-4 G4 $45
Flowers bees 2-3 G4 $35
Monster hunter orage 1-3 G3/G4 $40
Emanon 1-3 G4 $40
Appleseed spares (3) G2-G5 $50
Code geass sazuka 1-2, queen 1 G2/G3 $20
Eurekai Seven (5 vols) $40 #G3/G4
Doubt 1-2 G4 $21
Tokyo Tribes 1-5, no #3 G4 $50
Cutie honey G4 $15
Crying freeman journey $8
Tenchi- $3
Fire Punch 1 $7
Exaxxion 1 $5
Sacred blacksmith4 G4 $4
Karneval 1 G4 $11
Akira singles (11) $100 6.0-8.5
First master 2 G4 $30
Blade of the Immortal Deluxe 1-3 G5 $60
Alita 1-9, last order 1-8 G3/G4 $165
Me and the devil blues 1-2 G4 $170
Banana fish 1-5, 9-12 G4 half have yellowing $80
Black Jack 1-5, 13 G4 $90 (vol 2 is G2)
Ultraman 1-16 G4 G5 $125
Wotakoi 1 G5 $8
JJk 0-3 $23
Psycho Pass 1-4 G4 $50 1st print
Spare volume 3 $15 1st print
Phoenix 3 G4 $55
Initial D 1-33 $1000 All but one limited edition cards enclosed
Golgo 1-10 Missing #2 G4-G5 $140
Golden Kamuy 1-19 G4 $150
Bleach 1-27, 32 $100
All other spares Bleach G3-G4 $2.50-3.50 each based on condition
Skullman 2-7 G4 $120
Raqiya 1-2 G4 $70
Monster 1st 1 G4 Single $12
High School DXD 3, 6, 10 G5 6, 10 Sealed $50
GON 6 volumes G4 $90 missing a couple from full run
Fist Of The North Start Viz Graphic 1-4, Blue Sky 1-4 G4 $200
fist spare graphic novel edt 3-4 $50 G4
Apocalypse Meow 1st 1-3 G4 $80
Dance In The Vampire Bund 1-3, 7-9, 18-21 G4 $50
Outlanders 1988 1-8 G4 $175 #5 is G3
Attack On Titan 1-34, 4 extra volume 34 editions BAM, Kinokuniya, B&N, Spare Kunikinya sealed G5 38 volumes $300
Attack On Titan 1-34 G4, Kinokuniya w/o card G5 $250
The king of fighters 1-6 G5 $50
Lone Wolf & Cub Omnibus Complete G4/G5 unread 1st print $500
Berserk 17 volumes $150 DMP G4, 161-18 G3
Blade Of The Immoral DH 1-31 + novel G3-G4 Some Ex Lib $200
Blood Blockade Battlefront 3, 10 G4 $80
Bride Of The Water God 1-6, 8-13 G4 $100
Bt'x 13 G4 $20
Captain Ken 1, G4 $10
Chainmail Novel LN 1 G4 $10
Cyborg 009 1, 2, 4 G4 $35
Dororo 1 G4 $10
Fire Punch 1-2 G4 $20
Gantz 1-2, 11-13, 15, 34 G4 $100
Gundam Lot G4 $140 Spares Available
Gyo 1 G4 $30
Ichiroh 5, G4 $9
Infini T Force 1-4 G5 $21
Judge 1 G4 $7
Junji Ito Lot Remina, Sensor, Uzamaki HC G4 $45
Kagerou Daze 1-7 $180
Kurohime 8 volumes G4 $40
Knights Zodiac 2, 4, 11 G4 $44
Shugo chara 2-6 G3/G4 $20
Drifting classroom 1-3 G4 $30
Lum Viz 1st Print 1-2 G4, Unread $20
Magic Knight Rayearth 1st 3 G3 $3
Mai The Psychic Girl 3, 4 G4 $50
Jojos pt 3 tpb 6, 8, 12 G5 $90
Mermaid Saga 1-4 G4 $50
Midori Days 8 G4 $20
Ode To Kirihito 2 G4 $10 Spare Available
Oh My Goddess Omnibus 1-3 G4 $60
Pandora's Heart 1, 2, 10, 14, 18 G4 $50\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* Spare 18 G4 $10
Peepe Choo 1 G4 $15
Reborn 1, 3 G4 $35
Resident Evil Marhawa 2 G4 $18
Saint tail 1-7 $150 G4
Shaman Warrior 2, 7 G4 $25
Strawberry 100% 1-3 $35
Street Fighter 8 Volumes $100
Spare Ryu Final 3 G4 $18, Alpha 2 $30
Ultimate Muscle 6, 8, 10, 11, 14, 18, 23 G4 some remainder marks #23 G3 Ex Lib $125
Uzumaki HC G4 $20
Zombie Powder 3-4 G4 $30

(Kinda long, TLDR at end)
A few months ago, in the beginning of last semester, I was living w some friends(who I am still living with) and me and 2 others had a few discussions about physical touch and our boundaries and stuff, which was great for a while because I’ve never had friends I could cuddle with and that’s something I’ve always wanted because my family isn’t very cuddly and none of my friends are either and I am a very touchy person(physical touch makes me feel grounded and safe when I am in control of it and with a safe person) but have never had anyone to do it with, so I was overjoyed to have them.
And then, like 2 months later, they started dating, and I was completely excluded from the physical touch, and it keyed up to 11 between the two of them.
That is how the situation has been since then, and I tried to still be touchy for a little bit but it never worked and they clearly wanted nothing to do with me in that sense. I recently was talking to my friend and had been going through a lot of emotions so I wanted touch but she was like leaning away and I noticed(I don’t usually notice v much bcuz of the autism lol but it was v obvious) and she told me that she didn’t actually really like touch very much, except when it was with her girlfriend, and had always felt that way, but felt like it would be weird to say something before they were dating because how do you explain we are all friends but I only want to cuddle with this friend and not the other one lol sorry, and based on the gfs body language I think she feels the same way.
I think I feel… betrayed? In some way? I don’t know I’m just having a really hard time with it because I trusted her to communicate her boundaries and she didn’t and now what can I trust? What’s true and what’s a lie because it’s awkward to tell me to butt out?
I also just feel like shit because the two of them are cuddling in my room right now and the one who told me was like I’m being needy so that’s why we r here and internally I’m like I have felt weird out of my skin all day and I really want to crawl on top of someone and cuddle to get myself to breathe again but I can’t because both of you actually never wanted anything to do with me and physical touch regardless of what you said and I thought I could have that with someone but I can’t and I probably never will and I feel like shit basically.
Idk, does anyone have any advice on what to do? I’m kind of lost here😅
TLDR: -started living w friends, -cuddled w 2 of them a lot after boundary discussions, -they started dating and completely excluded me from physical touch, -found out that one of them actually never was comfortable with touch from me just didn't want to say it bcuz would have been admitting her crush on the other one, -now I’m feeling betrayed and upset because what is even truth anymore and also I feel like shit and want to cuddle someone but I can’t because family is not touchy and neither are any friends except them

There is a trove of evidence that the Palestinian movement has utilized disinformation and propaganda to manipulate the international community. According to the US State Department's report from 2019, Hamas has been engaging in a systematic campaign of misinformation and propaganda to manipulate public opinion. The report outlines how Hamas has been using various channels, including social media, to spread false information and incitement against Israel. Hamas is accused of disseminating conspiracy theories and false accusations of Israeli aggression, and of glorifying terrorist attacks against Israeli civilians. Hamas has been known to use fake social media accounts and bots to amplify their messaging and make it appear as though there is more support for their cause than there actually is. The report also notes that Hamas has used its own media outlets to spread false information and incitement, including running news stories that are factually inaccurate and using graphic images to provoke an emotional response from viewers. The report also highlights the use of Hamas's military wing, the Al-Qassam Brigades, to disseminate propaganda and engage in violence against Israel. The Al-Qassam Brigades have been known to produce videos and social media content that glorify violence and depict Israel as an aggressor, often using graphic and disturbing imagery to shock and provoke viewers. The report states that Hamas has been actively manipulating the narrative around the conflict to further their political goals, and to gain support from the international community. It further states that Hamas has been using propaganda to portray themselves as a legitimate resistance movement, while demonizing Israel as an aggressor and human rights violator. In addition to their social media campaigns, Hamas has also been accused of using other channels to spread their propaganda, including mosques, schools, and community centers. The report emphasizes the need for the international community to be aware of Hamas's propaganda tactics, and to take steps to counteract their efforts to manipulate public opinion.
The report also notes that Hamas has been using propaganda to maintain control over the population in Gaza. By disseminating false information and inciting anti-Israeli sentiment, Hamas has been able to maintain a tight grip on power, and to suppress dissent and opposition to their rule. The Institute for Monitoring Peace and Cultural Tolerance in School Education (IMPACT-se) is an independent research institute that analyzes textbooks used in various countries to identify any extremist or intolerant content. In a report published in 2020, IMPACT-se found that Palestinian textbooks used in schools contain anti-Semitic and anti-Israeli content, including falsehoods and incitement to violence. The report analyzed textbooks used in Palestinian Authority schools, as well as those used in UNRWA-run schools, which serve Palestinian refugees in the region. The analysis found that the textbooks depicted the conflict with Israel as a religious war, rather than a political conflict. The textbooks also contained many passages that glorified violence against Israelis, including references to suicide bombers as "martyrs" and "heroes." The report also found that the textbooks included anti-Semitic content, including references to Jews as "enemies of Islam and the Palestinians''. Furthermore, the report found that the textbooks promoted intolerance and prejudice against other groups, including women, minorities, and the LGBTQ+ community. They contained passages that reinforced gender stereotypes and discriminated against minority groups, such as the Christian minority in the region. The use of such textbooks in schools has raised concerns, and many argue that they promote a culture of hate and intolerance, and hinder efforts towards peace between Israelis and Palestinians
US intelligence agencies have also documented instances of Palestinian groups using propaganda and misinformation to further their goals. A U.S Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) report from 2019, titled "Israel: Countering the Threat of Terrorism," describes how the Palestinian Authority (PA) has employed a strategy of "internationalizing" the conflict with Israel. According to the report, this strategy involves using disinformation and propaganda to influence foreign governments and organizations, as well as international public opinion, in favor of the Palestinian cause. The report notes that the PA has made efforts to portray Israel as an aggressor and human rights violator, and has sought to gain international support through this. The PA has also attempted to delegitimize Israel and its policies. To achieve these goals, the PA has used a variety of tactics, including media campaigns, lobbying efforts, and participation in international forums such as the United Nations. It’s widely known that during the 2014 Gaza War, the Palestinian Authority (PA) used disinformation and propaganda to mislead the public about the nature of the conflict. The PA disseminated a false narrative that Israel was intentionally targeting Palestinian civilians and committing war crimes, which was widely spread through their media campaigns, social media posts, and public statements. The PA also claimed that Israel was responsible for the deaths of thousands of Palestinian civilians, when in fact, the vast majority of those killed were militants. This false narrative was spread through various channels, including the United Nations and other international organizations, to garner sympathy and support for the Palestinian cause. Furthermore, the PA staged events to bolster their propaganda, such as the "massacre" at a UN school in Gaza. The PA claimed that Israeli forces had deliberately targeted the school and killed dozens of civilians, including children. However, it was later revealed that the school was being used as a storage site for Hamas rockets and that the majority of those killed were Hamas militants. The use of false narratives, staged events, and propaganda by the PA during the 2014 Gaza War highlights their willingness to manipulate the truth to advance their agenda and gain support from the international community
Media campaigns have been a key tool for the PA in influencing international public opinion. The PA has produced and disseminated videos, social media posts, and other materials that depict Israel in a negative light. These campaigns often focus on specific incidents, such as clashes between Israeli security forces and Palestinian rioters, or the demolition of terrorists’ family homes. The aim of these campaigns is to generate sympathy for the Palestinian cause and to portray Israel as an oppressive and unjust state. The PA has been known to dramatize events and use false actors in these media campaigns. For example, they have been caught staging scenes of violence and injury during protests to garner sympathy and support from the international community. One example of this occurred during the 2018 Gaza border protests, in which Palestinian rioters clashed with Israeli forces. The PA circulated images and videos of a young Palestinian girl who was allegedly killed by Israeli forces, causing outrage and condemnation from the international community. However, it was later revealed that the girl, named Layla Ghandour, had not been killed by Israeli forces at all, but had instead died of a pre-existing medical condition. Additionally, her family admitted to being paid by the PA to falsely claim that she was killed by Israeli forces. Another example involves a Palestinian girl named Ahed Tamimi who became a symbol of Palestinian resistance after a video of her slapping and kicking an Israeli soldier went viral in 2017. However, it was later revealed that the incident was staged by her family in an effort to gain attention and sympathy from the international community. Tamimi's mother had allegedly instructed her to provoke the soldiers to film the incident and use it for propaganda purposes. The incident received widespread media coverage at the time. Other examples of media manipulation have included the use of actors to simulate injuries during protests, and the use of staged footage to depict Israeli aggression towards Palestinian civilians. One example of the use of actors to simulate injuries during protests occurred in May 2018, during protests along the Gaza-Israel border. The Israeli military released video footage that appeared to show a Palestinian man being shot and wounded during the protests. However, it was later revealed that the man was actually a well-known Palestinian activist who had been paid by the Hamas terror group to stage the incident for media coverage.
Another example of staged footage occurred in 2012, when the Hamas-run Al-Aqsa TV aired footage of a young boy being carried by his father, purportedly after being wounded in an Israeli air strike. However, it was later revealed that the boy was actually a victim of a domestic gas explosion, and that the footage had been manipulated to make it appear as if he had been injured in an Israeli attack. In another instance, during the 2014 Gaza conflict, a video was widely circulated on social media that appeared to show a young boy being killed by an Israeli drone strike. However, it was later revealed that the video was actually from Syria, and had been filmed two years earlier. The footage had been manipulated to falsely portray an Israeli attack.
Furthermore, lobbying efforts have also been crucial for the PA in influencing foreign governments and organizations. The PA has established relationships with political and civic leaders in a number of countries, and has worked to advance its agenda through these channels. The PA has also hired lobbying firms and public relations firms in the United States and other countries to help promote its message and influence public opinion. There have been serious concerns raised about the ties between these lobbying groups and well-known terrorist organizations. One example is the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), an advocacy group on Capitol Hill. According to a report by the Investigative Project on Terrorism, CAIR was founded by members of the Islamic Association for Palestine (IAP), which was found to have connections to Hamas. In addition, other CAIR officials have been linked to Hamas or expressed support for the group. For example, in 2008, the FBI released documents showing that CAIR was part of a network of organizations and individuals supporting Hamas in the United States. The documents included a memorandum from 1993 in which a Hamas leader in the United States identified CAIR as a member of the Palestine Committee, a group that was established by the Muslim Brotherhood to support Hamas in the United States. In 2007, CAIR's co-founder and former executive director, Nihad Awad, was recorded expressing support for Hamas in a private meeting. The recording was later leaked and widely circulated. These connections have raised concerns about the extent to which CAIR is able to influence US policy towards the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, as well as the group's broader agenda and tactics.
Another group with ties to terrorism is the Palestine Solidarity Campaign (PSC) in the UK. While the PSC claims to operate peacefully and nonviolently, it has been criticized for its ties to terrorist organizations, specifically the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP).The PFLP is a Marxist-Leninist organization that was founded in 1967 with the goal of liberating Palestine. The group has been responsible for numerous acts of terrorism against civilians. The PFLP has been designated as a terrorist organization by many countries, including the United States, Canada, and the European Union. In 2018, a member of the PSC's leadership was found to have been a member of the PFLP. Salah Ajarma, who served as the coordinator of the PSC's annual conference, was found to have been a member of the PFLP's military wing. According to reports, Ajarma played a role in planning and coordinating a terrorist attack on a bus in Tel Aviv, Israel, in 1994. The attack, which was carried out by the PFLP, killed 22 people and injured dozens more.
Similarly, the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) movement has been criticized for its ties to terrorist organizations. The Israeli Ministry of Strategic Affairs has identified multiple BDS groups with links to Hamas and the PFLP. One of the groups that the ministry has identified is the BDS National Committee (BNC), which is the main coordinating body for the global BDS campaign. The ministry has accused the BNC of having close ties to Hamas. The Israeli government has provided ample evidence to support its claim that the BNC has ties to Hamas. For instance, the Ministry of Strategic Affairs announce that BNC board member Abdulrahman Abunahel had been a senior official in the Islamic Relief Worldwide charity, which has ties to Hamas. The Islamic Relief Worldwide (IRW) has connections to the Union of Good and it has provided financial support to organizations affiliated with Hamas through its connections with the organization. The Union of Good is a charity organization that was designated as a terrorist organization by the United States in 2008 for providing financial support to Hamas. It was established in 2000, and is composed of a network of charities and organizations operating in several countries. The U.S. Department of the Treasury stated that the Union of Good was established by Hamas leaders to support the organization's activities and that it had provided millions of dollars in funding to Hamas-affiliated organizations in the Gaza Strip. The evidence cited by the U.S. government to support its designation of the Union of Good as a terrorist organization includes financial transactions and communications between members of the organization and Hamas leaders, as well as public statements and actions by the organization and its leaders. For example, the U.S. Treasury Department cited a 2002 press release from the Union of Good that expressed support for Hamas and its activities. The Treasury Department also pointed to financial transactions between the Union of Good and organizations that were directly affiliated with Hamas, as well as communications between members of the organization and Hamas leaders. Additionally, the U.S. government cited the Union of Good's connection to Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi, a prominent Hamas supporter who has been banned from entering the U.S. due to his support for terrorism. Al-Qaradawi served as the chairman of the Union of Good's board of trustees. Furthermore, Israeli government has provided several examples of individuals and organizations associated with the BDS movement that it claims have been involved in fundraising for Hamas and other terrorist groups. One such example is the case of Muhammad El-Halabi, a World Vision employee who was accused of diverting millions of dollars of aid money to Hamas. The Israeli government claimed that El-Halabi used his position at World Vision to funnel funds to Hamas's military wing, the Al-Qassam Brigades, which he identified as the intended beneficiaries of various aid projects. The Israeli government has also pointed to the case of the Union of Agricultural Work Committees (UAWC), a Palestinian NGO that has been linked to the BDS movement. In 2019, the UAWC was designated as a terrorist organization due to the allegations that it was a front for the PFLP and that it had been involved in the planning of terrorist attacks against Israeli targets. The Israeli government provided several pieces of evidence to support its allegations against the UAWC. One of the key pieces of evidence was the fact that several UAWC employees had been arrested and charged with terrorist offenses in recent years. In 2019, for example, the Israeli military arrested and charged UAWC employee Rami Ayad with being a member of the PFLP and with involvement in planning terrorist attacks against Israeli targets. In addition to the arrests of UAWC employees, the Israeli government pointed to the organization's further ties to the PFLP. They claimed that the UAWC was founded by members of the PFLP and that it had maintained close ties to the organization ever since. The Israeli government also alleged that the UAWC had provided financial support to the families of PFLP terrorists and had facilitated the transfer of funds to PFLP operatives in the Gaza Strip. The government claimed that the UAWC used funds provided by international donors, including the European Union and the United Nations, to support terrorist activities. According to Israeli officials, the UAWC had used some of the funds to build military installations for the PFLP, which included training camps and weapons storage facilities. The UAWC was also accused of providing financial assistance to the families of PFLP operatives who had been killed or imprisoned by Israeli authorities. They provided evidence of financial transactions between the UAWC and known PFLP operatives, including payments made to individuals who had been involved in carrying out attacks against Israeli targets. The Israeli government has claimed that the BDS movement as a whole is involved in supporting terrorist organizations. There have been several reports of BDS activists attending meetings with representatives of Hamas and the PFLP. For example, in 2016, it was reported that two BDS activists, Ahmed Moor and Kristian Davis Bailey, had participated in a meeting with Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh during a visit to the Gaza Strip. In 2017, a delegation of BDS activists, including Omar Barghouti, reportedly met with PFLP officials in the West Bank. The Israeli government has also pointed to examples of BDS activism that it claims promotes violence against Israel and its citizens. For instance, in 2014, during the Gaza War, BDS activists in South Africa reportedly chanted slogans such as "shoot the Jew" and "kill the Jew" at a protest rally. Similarly, in 2015, a BDS activist in France was recorded on video shouting "Death to Israel" at a pro-Palestinian rally in Paris. The Israeli government has also accused BDS activists of supporting the use of violence against Israeli civilians, citing examples such as a BDS campaign that urged Palestinians to carry out stabbing attacks against Israelis.
There have been additional concerns about how Palestinian lobbying groups use their influence to whitewash or downplay terrorist activities carried out by Palestinian groups. These groups aim to gain support for their cause and present a positive image of themselves to the international community. One example of this is the Palestinian Return Centre (PRC), which is based in the UK and has been accused of having ties to Hamas. The PRC has organized events and conferences in Europe that have been criticized for promoting anti-Semitic and pro-terrorist rhetoric. In 2010, the PRC was banned from holding an event in the British Parliament after concerns were raised about the organization's links to Hamas. Another example is the US Campaign for Palestinian Rights (USCPR), which has been accused of having connections to the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP). One of the co-founders of the USCPR, Hatem Abudayyeh, has been investigated for his alleged ties to the PFLP. In 2010, the FBI raided his home and the offices of a Chicago-based organization he was affiliated with called the Arab American Action Network. The FBI alleged that Abudayyeh and his organization had provided material support to the PFLP, including financial assistance and communication equipment. In addition to Abudayyeh, other members of the USCPR have been linked to the PFLP. For example, the group's former board member, Rasmieh Odeh, was convicted in Israel for her involvement in a 1969 bombing that killed two Israeli students. She was later deported from the United States for lying on her immigration application about her involvement in the attack. The USCPR has been involved in organizing events and protests in the US that have been criticized for glorifying violence and promoting anti-Semitic rhetoric. The allegations against the USCPR not only stem from its alleged connections to a number of PFLP members and sympathizers, but from the organization's public statements and actions. For example, In 2017, the USCPR reportedly held a fundraiser for the Palestinian Prisoners' Committee, a group that has been linked to the PFLP. The event was attended by several individuals who were believed to have ties to the PFLP, including Leila Khaled, a well-known PFLP member who was involved in several hijackings in the 1960s and 1970s. The USCPR has also been criticized for its involvement in organizing the "Great March of Return" protests in Gaza in 2018. These protests, which were organized by Hamas and other militant groups, were characterized by violence and resulted in the deaths of dozens of Palestinians and injuries to thousands more. The USCPR has been accused of supporting these protests and of promoting anti-Semitic rhetoric in connection with them. In addition to these specific examples, the USCPR has been accused of promoting a broader agenda that is supportive of terrorist groups and their activities. Critics have pointed to the organization's support for the BDS movement, which has been linked to terrorist groups such as Hamas and the PFLP, as evidence of this agenda. The USCPR has also been accused of promoting a "one-state solution" to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict that would effectively eliminate Israel as a Jewish state, which many Israelis see as a threat to their existence.
Another advocacy group, the Palestinian Return Centre (PRC) is a London-based organization that claims to advocate for the rights of Palestinian refugees. However, there have been concerns raised about its connections to Hamas, a designated terrorist organization. According to a report by the Meir Amit Intelligence and Terrorism Information Center, the PRC has a history of promoting and glorifying terrorist attacks carried out by Hamas and other Palestinian militant groups. In addition, in 2010, Israel banned the PRC for its alleged ties to Hamas. The Israeli government stated that the Popular Resistance Committees (PRC) is a front for Hamas, and that its members have attended Hamas training camps in Gaza. The Israeli government has provided evidence of links between the two groups, including financial and logistical support provided by Hamas to the PRC. In 2006, Israeli forces arrested Jamal Abu Samhadana, the leader of the PRC, and accused him of being a senior Hamas operative. Israeli officials claimed that Abu Samhadana had received funding and training from Hamas, and had been involved in planning attacks against Israeli targets. The Israeli government has also cited the PRC's involvement in launching rockets and mortars from Gaza into Israel as evidence of its links to Hamas. In 2014, during Operation Protective Edge, the Israeli military targeted PRC members who were involved in firing rockets into Israel. The group has been responsible for numerous attacks against Israeli soldiers and civilians, including suicide bombings and shootings. The PRC has been involved in lobbying efforts in the UK, and has been accused of using its platform to promote anti-Semitic views and extremist ideologies. In 2019, the PRC was stripped of its UN accreditation after concerns were raised about its links to Hamas.
If all of this evidence is out there, why are people still being fooled? These people do not want peace… they want war… until Israel is gone.

(Kinda long, TLDR at end)
A few months ago, in the beginning of last semester, I was living w some friends(who I am still living with) and me and 2 others had a few discussions about physical touch and our boundaries and stuff, which was great for a while because I’ve never had friends I could cuddle with and that’s something I’ve always wanted because my family isn’t very cuddly and none of my friends are either and I am a very touchy person(physical touch makes me feel grounded and safe when I am in control of it and with a safe person) but have never had anyone to do it with, so I was overjoyed to have them.
And then, like 2 months later, they started dating, and I was completely excluded from the physical touch, and it keyed up to 11 between the two of them.
That is how the situation has been since then, and I tried to still be touchy for a little bit but it never worked and they clearly wanted nothing to do with me in that sense. I recently was talking to my friend and had been going through a lot of emotions so I wanted touch but she was like leaning away and I noticed(I don’t usually notice v much bcuz of the autism lol but it was v obvious) and she told me that she didn’t actually really like touch very much, except when it was with her girlfriend, and had always felt that way, but felt like it would be weird to say something before they were dating because how do you explain we are all friends but I only want to cuddle with this friend and not the other one lol sorry, and based on the gfs body language I think she feels the same way.
I think I feel… betrayed? In some way? I don’t know I’m just having a really hard time with it because I trusted her to communicate her boundaries and she didn’t and now what can I trust? What’s true and what’s a lie because it’s awkward to tell me to butt out?
I also just feel like shit because the two of them are cuddling in my room right now and the one who told me was like I’m being needy so that’s why we r here and internally I’m like I have felt weird out of my skin all day and I really want to crawl on top of someone and cuddle to get myself to breathe again but I can’t because both of you actually never wanted anything to do with me and physical touch regardless of what you said and I thought I could have that with someone but I can’t and I probably never will and I feel like shit basically.
Idk, does anyone have any advice on what to do? I’m kind of lost here😅
TLDR: -started living w friends, -cuddled w 2 of them a lot after boundary discussions, -they started dating and completely excluded me from physical touch, -found out that one of them actually never was comfortable with touch from me just didn't want to say it bcuz would have been admitting her crush on the other one, -now I’m feeling betrayed and upset because what is even truth anymore and also I feel like shit and want to cuddle someone but I can’t because family is not touchy and neither are any friends except them

So we are both in the military, and have been dating for about a month. We met in tech school (job training) and spent every single day together. We’ve grown very close and I’d go as far as to say we are falling in love really quick. She graduated and went to her base in Alaska. I’m still stuck here in the lower 48 states for another month, and after this I’ll be going to Virginia. We both will be at our duty stations for about 3 years. We have the same job so there’s a possibility of us seeing each other for work, but the odds are slim.
Since she’s left, I have had what I believe is separation anxiety. When I’m in class and she’s at work, I’m constantly thinking about her and wishing I was talking to her. Whenever she goes out, I basically sit in my room alone waiting for her to get back so I can FaceTime her. I don’t really care to go out on my free time. She’s offered to stay home and talk to me instead of going out with friends but I don’t think it’s fair that her social life has to come to a halt because of me.
How do you suggest I deal with this in a health way? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

There is a trove of evidence that the Palestinian movement has utilized disinformation and propaganda to manipulate the international community. According to the US State Department's report from 2019, Hamas has been engaging in a systematic campaign of misinformation and propaganda to manipulate public opinion. The report outlines how Hamas has been using various channels, including social media, to spread false information and incitement against Israel. Hamas is accused of disseminating conspiracy theories and false accusations of Israeli aggression, and of glorifying terrorist attacks against Israeli civilians. Hamas has been known to use fake social media accounts and bots to amplify their messaging and make it appear as though there is more support for their cause than there actually is. The report also notes that Hamas has used its own media outlets to spread false information and incitement, including running news stories that are factually inaccurate and using graphic images to provoke an emotional response from viewers. The report also highlights the use of Hamas's military wing, the Al-Qassam Brigades, to disseminate propaganda and engage in violence against Israel. The Al-Qassam Brigades have been known to produce videos and social media content that glorify violence and depict Israel as an aggressor, often using graphic and disturbing imagery to shock and provoke viewers. The report states that Hamas has been actively manipulating the narrative around the conflict to further their political goals, and to gain support from the international community. It further states that Hamas has been using propaganda to portray themselves as a legitimate resistance movement, while demonizing Israel as an aggressor and human rights violator. In addition to their social media campaigns, Hamas has also been accused of using other channels to spread their propaganda, including mosques, schools, and community centers. The report emphasizes the need for the international community to be aware of Hamas's propaganda tactics, and to take steps to counteract their efforts to manipulate public opinion.
The report also notes that Hamas has been using propaganda to maintain control over the population in Gaza. By disseminating false information and inciting anti-Israeli sentiment, Hamas has been able to maintain a tight grip on power, and to suppress dissent and opposition to their rule. The Institute for Monitoring Peace and Cultural Tolerance in School Education (IMPACT-se) is an independent research institute that analyzes textbooks used in various countries to identify any extremist or intolerant content. In a report published in 2020, IMPACT-se found that Palestinian textbooks used in schools contain anti-Semitic and anti-Israeli content, including falsehoods and incitement to violence. The report analyzed textbooks used in Palestinian Authority schools, as well as those used in UNRWA-run schools, which serve Palestinian refugees in the region. The analysis found that the textbooks depicted the conflict with Israel as a religious war, rather than a political conflict. The textbooks also contained many passages that glorified violence against Israelis, including references to suicide bombers as "martyrs" and "heroes." The report also found that the textbooks included anti-Semitic content, including references to Jews as "enemies of Islam and the Palestinians''. Furthermore, the report found that the textbooks promoted intolerance and prejudice against other groups, including women, minorities, and the LGBTQ+ community. They contained passages that reinforced gender stereotypes and discriminated against minority groups, such as the Christian minority in the region. The use of such textbooks in schools has raised concerns, and many argue that they promote a culture of hate and intolerance, and hinder efforts towards peace between Israelis and Palestinians
US intelligence agencies have also documented instances of Palestinian groups using propaganda and misinformation to further their goals. A U.S Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) report from 2019, titled "Israel: Countering the Threat of Terrorism," describes how the Palestinian Authority (PA) has employed a strategy of "internationalizing" the conflict with Israel. According to the report, this strategy involves using disinformation and propaganda to influence foreign governments and organizations, as well as international public opinion, in favor of the Palestinian cause. The report notes that the PA has made efforts to portray Israel as an aggressor and human rights violator, and has sought to gain international support through this. The PA has also attempted to delegitimize Israel and its policies. To achieve these goals, the PA has used a variety of tactics, including media campaigns, lobbying efforts, and participation in international forums such as the United Nations. It’s widely known that during the 2014 Gaza War, the Palestinian Authority (PA) used disinformation and propaganda to mislead the public about the nature of the conflict. The PA disseminated a false narrative that Israel was intentionally targeting Palestinian civilians and committing war crimes, which was widely spread through their media campaigns, social media posts, and public statements. The PA also claimed that Israel was responsible for the deaths of thousands of Palestinian civilians, when in fact, the vast majority of those killed were militants. This false narrative was spread through various channels, including the United Nations and other international organizations, to garner sympathy and support for the Palestinian cause. Furthermore, the PA staged events to bolster their propaganda, such as the "massacre" at a UN school in Gaza. The PA claimed that Israeli forces had deliberately targeted the school and killed dozens of civilians, including children. However, it was later revealed that the school was being used as a storage site for Hamas rockets and that the majority of those killed were Hamas militants. The use of false narratives, staged events, and propaganda by the PA during the 2014 Gaza War highlights their willingness to manipulate the truth to advance their agenda and gain support from the international community
Media campaigns have been a key tool for the PA in influencing international public opinion. The PA has produced and disseminated videos, social media posts, and other materials that depict Israel in a negative light. These campaigns often focus on specific incidents, such as clashes between Israeli security forces and Palestinian rioters, or the demolition of terrorists’ family homes. The aim of these campaigns is to generate sympathy for the Palestinian cause and to portray Israel as an oppressive and unjust state. The PA has been known to dramatize events and use false actors in these media campaigns. For example, they have been caught staging scenes of violence and injury during protests to garner sympathy and support from the international community. One example of this occurred during the 2018 Gaza border protests, in which Palestinian rioters clashed with Israeli forces. The PA circulated images and videos of a young Palestinian girl who was allegedly killed by Israeli forces, causing outrage and condemnation from the international community. However, it was later revealed that the girl, named Layla Ghandour, had not been killed by Israeli forces at all, but had instead died of a pre-existing medical condition. Additionally, her family admitted to being paid by the PA to falsely claim that she was killed by Israeli forces. Another example involves a Palestinian girl named Ahed Tamimi who became a symbol of Palestinian resistance after a video of her slapping and kicking an Israeli soldier went viral in 2017. However, it was later revealed that the incident was staged by her family in an effort to gain attention and sympathy from the international community. Tamimi's mother had allegedly instructed her to provoke the soldiers to film the incident and use it for propaganda purposes. The incident received widespread media coverage at the time. Other examples of media manipulation have included the use of actors to simulate injuries during protests, and the use of staged footage to depict Israeli aggression towards Palestinian civilians. One example of the use of actors to simulate injuries during protests occurred in May 2018, during protests along the Gaza-Israel border. The Israeli military released video footage that appeared to show a Palestinian man being shot and wounded during the protests. However, it was later revealed that the man was actually a well-known Palestinian activist who had been paid by the Hamas terror group to stage the incident for media coverage.
Another example of staged footage occurred in 2012, when the Hamas-run Al-Aqsa TV aired footage of a young boy being carried by his father, purportedly after being wounded in an Israeli air strike. However, it was later revealed that the boy was actually a victim of a domestic gas explosion, and that the footage had been manipulated to make it appear as if he had been injured in an Israeli attack. In another instance, during the 2014 Gaza conflict, a video was widely circulated on social media that appeared to show a young boy being killed by an Israeli drone strike. However, it was later revealed that the video was actually from Syria, and had been filmed two years earlier. The footage had been manipulated to falsely portray an Israeli attack.
Furthermore, lobbying efforts have also been crucial for the PA in influencing foreign governments and organizations. The PA has established relationships with political and civic leaders in a number of countries, and has worked to advance its agenda through these channels. The PA has also hired lobbying firms and public relations firms in the United States and other countries to help promote its message and influence public opinion. There have been serious concerns raised about the ties between these lobbying groups and well-known terrorist organizations. One example is the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), an advocacy group on Capitol Hill. According to a report by the Investigative Project on Terrorism, CAIR was founded by members of the Islamic Association for Palestine (IAP), which was found to have connections to Hamas. In addition, other CAIR officials have been linked to Hamas or expressed support for the group. For example, in 2008, the FBI released documents showing that CAIR was part of a network of organizations and individuals supporting Hamas in the United States. The documents included a memorandum from 1993 in which a Hamas leader in the United States identified CAIR as a member of the Palestine Committee, a group that was established by the Muslim Brotherhood to support Hamas in the United States. In 2007, CAIR's co-founder and former executive director, Nihad Awad, was recorded expressing support for Hamas in a private meeting. The recording was later leaked and widely circulated. These connections have raised concerns about the extent to which CAIR is able to influence US policy towards the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, as well as the group's broader agenda and tactics.
Another group with ties to terrorism is the Palestine Solidarity Campaign (PSC) in the UK. While the PSC claims to operate peacefully and nonviolently, it has been criticized for its ties to terrorist organizations, specifically the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP).The PFLP is a Marxist-Leninist organization that was founded in 1967 with the goal of liberating Palestine. The group has been responsible for numerous acts of terrorism against civilians. The PFLP has been designated as a terrorist organization by many countries, including the United States, Canada, and the European Union. In 2018, a member of the PSC's leadership was found to have been a member of the PFLP. Salah Ajarma, who served as the coordinator of the PSC's annual conference, was found to have been a member of the PFLP's military wing. According to reports, Ajarma played a role in planning and coordinating a terrorist attack on a bus in Tel Aviv, Israel, in 1994. The attack, which was carried out by the PFLP, killed 22 people and injured dozens more.
Similarly, the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) movement has been criticized for its ties to terrorist organizations. The Israeli Ministry of Strategic Affairs has identified multiple BDS groups with links to Hamas and the PFLP. One of the groups that the ministry has identified is the BDS National Committee (BNC), which is the main coordinating body for the global BDS campaign. The ministry has accused the BNC of having close ties to Hamas. The Israeli government has provided ample evidence to support its claim that the BNC has ties to Hamas. For instance, the Ministry of Strategic Affairs announce that BNC board member Abdulrahman Abunahel had been a senior official in the Islamic Relief Worldwide charity, which has ties to Hamas. The Islamic Relief Worldwide (IRW) has connections to the Union of Good and it has provided financial support to organizations affiliated with Hamas through its connections with the organization. The Union of Good is a charity organization that was designated as a terrorist organization by the United States in 2008 for providing financial support to Hamas. It was established in 2000, and is composed of a network of charities and organizations operating in several countries. The U.S. Department of the Treasury stated that the Union of Good was established by Hamas leaders to support the organization's activities and that it had provided millions of dollars in funding to Hamas-affiliated organizations in the Gaza Strip. The evidence cited by the U.S. government to support its designation of the Union of Good as a terrorist organization includes financial transactions and communications between members of the organization and Hamas leaders, as well as public statements and actions by the organization and its leaders. For example, the U.S. Treasury Department cited a 2002 press release from the Union of Good that expressed support for Hamas and its activities. The Treasury Department also pointed to financial transactions between the Union of Good and organizations that were directly affiliated with Hamas, as well as communications between members of the organization and Hamas leaders. Additionally, the U.S. government cited the Union of Good's connection to Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi, a prominent Hamas supporter who has been banned from entering the U.S. due to his support for terrorism. Al-Qaradawi served as the chairman of the Union of Good's board of trustees. Furthermore, Israeli government has provided several examples of individuals and organizations associated with the BDS movement that it claims have been involved in fundraising for Hamas and other terrorist groups. One such example is the case of Muhammad El-Halabi, a World Vision employee who was accused of diverting millions of dollars of aid money to Hamas. The Israeli government claimed that El-Halabi used his position at World Vision to funnel funds to Hamas's military wing, the Al-Qassam Brigades, which he identified as the intended beneficiaries of various aid projects. The Israeli government has also pointed to the case of the Union of Agricultural Work Committees (UAWC), a Palestinian NGO that has been linked to the BDS movement. In 2019, the UAWC was designated as a terrorist organization due to the allegations that it was a front for the PFLP and that it had been involved in the planning of terrorist attacks against Israeli targets. The Israeli government provided several pieces of evidence to support its allegations against the UAWC. One of the key pieces of evidence was the fact that several UAWC employees had been arrested and charged with terrorist offenses in recent years. In 2019, for example, the Israeli military arrested and charged UAWC employee Rami Ayad with being a member of the PFLP and with involvement in planning terrorist attacks against Israeli targets. In addition to the arrests of UAWC employees, the Israeli government pointed to the organization's further ties to the PFLP. They claimed that the UAWC was founded by members of the PFLP and that it had maintained close ties to the organization ever since. The Israeli government also alleged that the UAWC had provided financial support to the families of PFLP terrorists and had facilitated the transfer of funds to PFLP operatives in the Gaza Strip. The government claimed that the UAWC used funds provided by international donors, including the European Union and the United Nations, to support terrorist activities. According to Israeli officials, the UAWC had used some of the funds to build military installations for the PFLP, which included training camps and weapons storage facilities. The UAWC was also accused of providing financial assistance to the families of PFLP operatives who had been killed or imprisoned by Israeli authorities. They provided evidence of financial transactions between the UAWC and known PFLP operatives, including payments made to individuals who had been involved in carrying out attacks against Israeli targets. The Israeli government has claimed that the BDS movement as a whole is involved in supporting terrorist organizations. There have been several reports of BDS activists attending meetings with representatives of Hamas and the PFLP. For example, in 2016, it was reported that two BDS activists, Ahmed Moor and Kristian Davis Bailey, had participated in a meeting with Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh during a visit to the Gaza Strip. In 2017, a delegation of BDS activists, including Omar Barghouti, reportedly met with PFLP officials in the West Bank. The Israeli government has also pointed to examples of BDS activism that it claims promotes violence against Israel and its citizens. For instance, in 2014, during the Gaza War, BDS activists in South Africa reportedly chanted slogans such as "shoot the Jew" and "kill the Jew" at a protest rally. Similarly, in 2015, a BDS activist in France was recorded on video shouting "Death to Israel" at a pro-Palestinian rally in Paris. The Israeli government has also accused BDS activists of supporting the use of violence against Israeli civilians, citing examples such as a BDS campaign that urged Palestinians to carry out stabbing attacks against Israelis.
There have been additional concerns about how Palestinian lobbying groups use their influence to whitewash or downplay terrorist activities carried out by Palestinian groups. These groups aim to gain support for their cause and present a positive image of themselves to the international community. One example of this is the Palestinian Return Centre (PRC), which is based in the UK and has been accused of having ties to Hamas. The PRC has organized events and conferences in Europe that have been criticized for promoting anti-Semitic and pro-terrorist rhetoric. In 2010, the PRC was banned from holding an event in the British Parliament after concerns were raised about the organization's links to Hamas. Another example is the US Campaign for Palestinian Rights (USCPR), which has been accused of having connections to the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP). One of the co-founders of the USCPR, Hatem Abudayyeh, has been investigated for his alleged ties to the PFLP. In 2010, the FBI raided his home and the offices of a Chicago-based organization he was affiliated with called the Arab American Action Network. The FBI alleged that Abudayyeh and his organization had provided material support to the PFLP, including financial assistance and communication equipment. In addition to Abudayyeh, other members of the USCPR have been linked to the PFLP. For example, the group's former board member, Rasmieh Odeh, was convicted in Israel for her involvement in a 1969 bombing that killed two Israeli students. She was later deported from the United States for lying on her immigration application about her involvement in the attack. The USCPR has been involved in organizing events and protests in the US that have been criticized for glorifying violence and promoting anti-Semitic rhetoric. The allegations against the USCPR not only stem from its alleged connections to a number of PFLP members and sympathizers, but from the organization's public statements and actions. For example, In 2017, the USCPR reportedly held a fundraiser for the Palestinian Prisoners' Committee, a group that has been linked to the PFLP. The event was attended by several individuals who were believed to have ties to the PFLP, including Leila Khaled, a well-known PFLP member who was involved in several hijackings in the 1960s and 1970s. The USCPR has also been criticized for its involvement in organizing the "Great March of Return" protests in Gaza in 2018. These protests, which were organized by Hamas and other militant groups, were characterized by violence and resulted in the deaths of dozens of Palestinians and injuries to thousands more. The USCPR has been accused of supporting these protests and of promoting anti-Semitic rhetoric in connection with them. In addition to these specific examples, the USCPR has been accused of promoting a broader agenda that is supportive of terrorist groups and their activities. Critics have pointed to the organization's support for the BDS movement, which has been linked to terrorist groups such as Hamas and the PFLP, as evidence of this agenda. The USCPR has also been accused of promoting a "one-state solution" to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict that would effectively eliminate Israel as a Jewish state, which many Israelis see as a threat to their existence.
Another advocacy group, the Palestinian Return Centre (PRC) is a London-based organization that claims to advocate for the rights of Palestinian refugees. However, there have been concerns raised about its connections to Hamas, a designated terrorist organization. According to a report by the Meir Amit Intelligence and Terrorism Information Center, the PRC has a history of promoting and glorifying terrorist attacks carried out by Hamas and other Palestinian militant groups. In addition, in 2010, Israel banned the PRC for its alleged ties to Hamas. The Israeli government stated that the Popular Resistance Committees (PRC) is a front for Hamas, and that its members have attended Hamas training camps in Gaza. The Israeli government has provided evidence of links between the two groups, including financial and logistical support provided by Hamas to the PRC. In 2006, Israeli forces arrested Jamal Abu Samhadana, the leader of the PRC, and accused him of being a senior Hamas operative. Israeli officials claimed that Abu Samhadana had received funding and training from Hamas, and had been involved in planning attacks against Israeli targets. The Israeli government has also cited the PRC's involvement in launching rockets and mortars from Gaza into Israel as evidence of its links to Hamas. In 2014, during Operation Protective Edge, the Israeli military targeted PRC members who were involved in firing rockets into Israel. The group has been responsible for numerous attacks against Israeli soldiers and civilians, including suicide bombings and shootings. The PRC has been involved in lobbying efforts in the UK, and has been accused of using its platform to promote anti-Semitic views and extremist ideologies. In 2019, the PRC was stripped of its UN accreditation after concerns were raised about its links to Hamas.
If all of this evidence is out there, why are people still being fooled? These people do not want peace… they want war… until Israel is gone.

(Sorry it took awhile for me to post this to Reddit. Power was knocked out and I had to wait until it came back on to post it here.)
(As here usual, you can find this story and the pervious parts here.)
​
The New Year rang in as Irving and Enterprise counted the days until their wedding in February.
Irving looked at the calendar and chuckled.
“Huh. It looks like our honeymoon will be on Valentine’s day.”
Enterprise blushed. She never realized the coincidence.
They knew that the wedding was going to be on February 10th.
In January, Oklahoma had her baby shower. Before the baby shower, Oklahoma told the rest of the shipgirls that she was having a boy.
The shipgirls gave her things such as clothes for the baby. Akagi gave her a crib.
After a while, Oklahoma was tired of all the shipgirls trying to feel her belly. Her baby tried to kick as if to tell them to stop, but this only encouraged them to do it more.
Malcolm could sense his wife’s frustration. He leaned in and whispered into her ear.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”
After that, every time a person would try to feel Oklahoma’s belly, Malcolm would give them a death glare that would put the kibosh on that idea.
After the baby shower was over, Oklahoma embraced her husband.
“Thanks, honey.”
She knew she could count on him to protect her and their unborn son.
Soon, February dawned. Irving knew that his and Enterprise’s wedding was right around the corner. He decided on the plan for his bachelor party.
Malcolm couldn’t go, as even though he was his best man, he was busy helping Oklahoma in the late stages of her pregnancy. Denis could go, as he was not that busy. Fritz would go, as he had nothing better to do. Samuel and Warren could go as well.
Irving smiled as he thought about how wild his party could get.
Meanwhile, Enterprise was planning her bachelorette party. She knew Oklahoma couldn’t go for the obvious reason of being eight months pregnant.
She invited New Jersey, Bismarck, Arizona, and Kronshtadt. She knew that the Northern Parliament had a bar that served the best drinks on the base.
Soon, the soon-to-be weds were at their respective parties.
Irving and his group were at the same bar where they had Malcolm’s bachelor party.
“A shame Malcolm couldn’t go.”
Samuel turned to face Irving.
“Eh, He’s gonna be a father soon. What did you expect?”
Irving noted Denis did not drink that much. He was in no state to drive, but he only had a few shots of vodka.
“I cannot process alcohol well”
Irving laughed and nodded. The rest of the group was equally drunk. Samuel was trying to play pool, but he could barely keep his shot straight.
Fritz was dancing on a table, his arms flailing around like a scarecrow in a wind tunnel.
Warren was already vomiting into a toilet in the restroom.
Irving noticed the bartender was looking at him with an angry look. He knew unless he did something; they were going to get kicked out.
Irving grabbed his phone and picked a random contact.
It turned out that the random contact was Heinz.
Heinz picked up the phone. He was in his black boxers. Bismarck had already left to join Enterprise for her bachelorette party.
“Hello?”
“Ah, Heinz, my man. Listen, I need a ride back home. Do me a solid and pick me up, m’kay?”
Heinz’s face went blank. It surprised him Irving had his number. It was likely that either Fritz or Bismarck gave it to him at some point.
Heinz hung up his phone. He knew that Irving and his group were most likely at the bar at the Eagle Union part of the base.
Meanwhile, in the Northern Parliament part of the base. Enterprise and her group were busy getting drunk and partying something fierce.
Kronshtadt and Bismarck were busy tearing it up the karaoke machine. Apparently “Bismarck” by Sabaton was on it, and Bismarck did not want to waste an opportunity like that.
New Jersey was already asleep. Arizona was on her phone.
Enterprise tugged on Arizona’s sleeve. She was drunk and could barely speak a few words without slurring them.
“Hey, can you call Oklahoma to pick us up?”
Arizona sighed and texted Oklahoma.
Oklahoma awoke to a phone vibrating. She unlocked it and saw it was a text from Arizona.
“Hey, can you pick us up? We are at the bar in the Northern Parliament part of the base.”
Oklahoma sat up and sighed, which alerted her husband.
Malcolm sat behind her and placed his arms around her belly.
She turned her head and kissed her husband.
“What’s wrong?”
Oklahoma chuckled and felt Malcolm’s hands around her large middle.
“Oh, other than having to pee almost every fifteen minutes, my boobs leaking more than a broken pipe. Louis treating my insides like a soccer ball, my back aching like a geriatric, and now I got to be the drunk wrangler, I’m doing just fine.”
Malcolm froze and raised his eyebrows.
"What if you go into labor while you are driving? What if something happens and you crash?
Oklahoma kissed her husband again as she felt Louis kick inside of her.
“Mal, relax. I’m going to be okay. You treat me like I’m a dainty daylily. Like my water will break as if I so much as sneeze too hard.”
Malcolm calmed down. Ever since Oklahoma had entered the last trimester of her pregnancy, he had been more protective of her.
Oklahoma got up to put on a purple t-shirt with a white unicorn on it and some black leggings. Malcolm followed behind her.
Oklahoma turned around to face her concerned husband.
“Relax, if something happens I’ll call you or the Commander.”
Malcolm and Oklahoma embraced and kissed. Oklahoma made a slight moan. She placed a hand on her belly.
“Relax, it’s just him kicking me a bit too hard. Vestal, Bismarck, and Tirpitz told me I would feel it around this stage.”
Oklahoma grabbed her phone and got into her car. She drove to the Northern Parliament side of the base.
Heinz’s car stopped right in front of the bar in the Eagle Union part of the base. He saw Irving and the others make their way to his car.
Once they arrived, they noticed a very pressing issue.
There were not enough seats for all of them.
Warren piped up.
“I’m going in the trunk.”
Before Heinz could protest, Warren had already placed himself in the trunk and closed the door.
With Warren in the trunk, that left enough seats for the men.
Irving got into the back of the car with Samuel and Fritz. Denis got into the front with Heinz.
They drove to the Ironblood part of the base. They could get Irving’s clothes for the wedding tomorrow.
What mattered now was getting the men to a safe spot to sober up.
And Heinz knew just the place.
Meanwhile, Oklahoma was driving to the bar in the Northern Parliament part of the base. She had to stop to pee at least two times while she was driving.
Oklahoma put one hand on her belly and rubbed it. She knew she had woken up Louis, as he was kicking in anger.
Oklahoma made her way to the bar. She parked the car and waddled to the entrance.
She had to go to the restroom first. Once she finished, she walked to the group.
“I’m here to be the drunk wrangler.”
It surprised the group that it was Oklahoma who picked them up. Arizona stared at her with concern.
“Oklahoma, why are you here? You-”
Oklahoma cut her off. She stared Arizona in the eye, her eyebrows down.
“I don’t want to hear it. Malcolm already gave me the same spiel before I left.”
Soon, the group was inside Oklahoma’s car. Oklahoma decided she would drop off Kronsthadt first, as she was the closest.
Oklahoma parked the car next to the dorm. Yaroslav and Nikolay were ready, and they picked up Kronshtadt.
“Thanks for the lift, Okie.”
Nikolay and Yaroslav carried her to her dorm.
Next up was Bismarck. Prinz Eugen was at the door of the dorms and helped her into the building.
Prinz Eugen nodded at Oklahoma, and soon she drove to the Eagle Union part of the base to drop off New Jersey, Arizona, and Enterprise.
Oklahoma decided she would let New Jersey, Arizona, and Enterprise crash at her place, as she did not want them to be alone.
Enterprise woke up.
“I’m sorry you had to pick us up, Okie. I didn’t want you to be the drunk wrangler as you have so much going on in your life.”
Oklahoma shook her head.
“Enterprise, it’s okay. I already told Malcolm this. It’s not like my water will break if I sneeze too hard. I’m more durable than you think.”
Enterprise calmed down. She knew Oklahoma was a tough cookie.
Heinz pulled up to the parking lot of the Ironblood dorms. He grabbed the group of men and unlocked his trunk to let Warren out.
Warren came out of the trunk and joined the group. They all walked to the elevator and took it to Heinz and Bismarck’s room.
When Heinz opened the door, he saw Bismarck on the couch with a bucket near her. Helga and Joachim were looking at their mother, curious about what was wrong with her.
“What's wrong with Mutti, Vadi?”
Heinz knew he could not explain a hangover to a young girl that well, so he tried to explain it in terms she could understand.
“Mutti is sick, but don’t worry, you won't get sick as well.”
Irving and the other men quickly made it to Heinz’s kitchen. They grabbed any large bowls they could.
Soon, they all vomited. Heinz, Helga, and Joachim all watched this horrible event unfold.
Heinz expected Helga and Joachim to cover their eyes. Instead, they watched as if it was a magnificent spectacle. Joachim looked at his father.
“Did they have some of Mama’s horrible casserole?”
Heinz laughed and shook his head. He knew Joachim was referring to the night when Bismarck made a casserole. It was bad. Everyone was throwing up in the morning, including Fritz and his family, who came for dinner that night.
“No, this isn’t from a casserole.”
Joachim nodded. The casserole was a good thing in his opinion. He got a day off from school for it.
Meanwhile, on the Eagle Union side of the base, Malcolm was holding up a hungover Enterprise. Arizona was carrying a passed-out New Jersey to Oklahoma and Malcolm’s room. Oklahoma was in the front, waddling her way to the room.
Once they reached the door, Oklahoma opened it. Arizona laid New Jersey on the bed in the guest bedroom. Arizona decided that the living room floor was a great place to lie down and sleep.
Oklahoma sat down on the couch. She was exhausted.
Enterprise laid down on the couch and asked a somewhat odd question.
“Can I put my head on your belly?”
Oklahoma nodded and pulled her shirt up to expose her belly. Her navel had popped out, becoming sensitive to the touch.
Enterprise put her head on Oklahoma’s belly like a pillow. She smiled.
“I can hear Lou’s heartbeat. I can even feel him move.”
Oklahoma blushed.
Enterprise asked another odd question.
“Hey, Okie, what’s it like being pregnant? Is it like being hungover?”
Oklahoma raised her eyebrows. She didn’t think about it.
“At first, yeah, it was like being hungover. Then Lou began growing, and I felt him kick. It was cute at first, but then it hurt as he got bigger.”
Oklahoma could see Louis’s kicks from the outside of her belly. She knew Louis would cry his way into the world soon.
Oklahoma placed a finger on her belly to play with Louis. She moved her finger to see if Louis would kick where the finger was. He would do so, making her giggle.
“The worst part is the feeling of having to pee every fifteen minutes, and the backaches.”
Oklahoma turned to face her husband and blushed. He blushed back.
“The odd part is feeling horny. Malcolm had to learn that the hard way.”
She continued to blush. She knew she was sharing the not so fun parts about being pregnant.
“Well, that and the leaking boobs. I swear they have a mind of their own.”
Enterprise blushed as Oklahoma was oddly open about the more suggestive parts of being pregnant.
Enterprise yawned and asked the ultimate question.
“Do you think I’ll make an amazing mother?”
Oklahoma and Malcolm looked at each other with cheerful looks on their faces. Oklahoma stroked Enterprise’s hair.
“I think you would make an amazing mother, Enty. And I also think Irving would make an amazing father.”
Enterprise yawned and nodded her head. She fell asleep.
Oklahoma pulled a blanket on Enterprise. She left her head exposed. Malcolm wrapped a blanket around Oklahoma.
“ Are you coming to bed with me?”
Oklahoma shook her head.
“I think Enterprise needs me out here. She’s gonna need all the help she’s gonna get tomorrow.”
Oklahoma felt Louis’s kicking stop. She knew he had finally fallen asleep. She turned her head to look at Enterprise, who was fast asleep with her head on her belly.
Oklahoma sighed.
She could oddly get used to this.

(Kinda long, TLDR at end)
A few months ago, in the beginning of last semester, I was living w some friends(who I am still living with) and me and 2 others had a few discussions about physical touch and our boundaries and stuff, which was great for a while because I’ve never had friends I could cuddle with and that’s something I’ve always wanted because my family isn’t very cuddly and none of my friends are either and I am a very touchy person(physical touch makes me feel grounded and safe when I am in control of it and with a safe person) but have never had anyone to do it with, so I was overjoyed to have them.
And then, like 2 months later, they started dating, and I was completely excluded from the physical touch, and it keyed up to 11 between the two of them.
That is how the situation has been since then, and I tried to still be touchy for a little bit but it never worked and they clearly wanted nothing to do with me in that sense. I recently was talking to my friend and had been going through a lot of emotions so I wanted touch but she was like leaning away and I noticed(I don’t usually notice v much bcuz of the autism lol but it was v obvious) and she told me that she didn’t actually really like touch very much, except when it was with her girlfriend, and had always felt that way, but felt like it would be weird to say something before they were dating because how do you explain we are all friends but I only want to cuddle with this friend and not the other one lol sorry, and based on the gfs body language I think she feels the same way.
I think I feel… betrayed? In some way? I don’t know I’m just having a really hard time with it because I trusted her to communicate her boundaries and she didn’t and now what can I trust? What’s true and what’s a lie because it’s awkward to tell me to butt out?
I also just feel like shit because the two of them are cuddling in my room right now and the one who told me was like I’m being needy so that’s why we r here and internally I’m like I have felt weird out of my skin all day and I really want to crawl on top of someone and cuddle to get myself to breathe again but I can’t because both of you actually never wanted anything to do with me and physical touch regardless of what you said and I thought I could have that with someone but I can’t and I probably never will and I feel like shit basically.
Idk, does anyone have any advice on what to do? I’m kind of lost here😅
TLDR: -started living w friends, -cuddled w 2 of them a lot after boundary discussions, -they started dating and completely excluded me from physical touch, -found out that one of them actually never was comfortable with touch from me just didn't want to say it bcuz would have been admitting her crush on the other one, -now I’m feeling betrayed and upset because what is even truth anymore and also I feel like shit and want to cuddle someone but I can’t because family is not touchy and neither are any friends except them

Ahh, dear reader, hello there! So lovely to see you once more... well figuratively speaking that is… or is it?
After all, I am exceedingly well versed in The Arts. Maybe I am watching you at this very moment, with Clairvoyance or perhaps a Scrying Spell or maybe an enchanted object like the good old fashioned Crystal Ball? The Magus has one you know…
Just teasing… or am I? …teeheehee…
Anyway, this latest instalment comes to you courtesy via a Voice to Text application my Magus recently acquired for me, as he said listening to me speak aloud while typing is too distracting for him. I find that interesting considering his immense mental discipline yet understandable at the same time. After all, extoling ones inner monolog to an uncaring audience would be tedious to experience. Hmm… I’ve just thought of a new torture for the souls of the dammed, specifically for writers who think they are better than everyone around them. How ingenious of me!
In any case, I would prefer to distract him in other ways, mark you.
I also must say what wonderfully inventive creatures you humans are! An application of mathematical code, the base language of reality. It is very much like a spell in its function and nature I would say, that it allows my phone, yes the Magus got me one, to record all I say and transcribes it into neatly typed words on its electronic pages. It’s like having a monk-scribe in your pocket! Unquestionably wonderful!
So as I relax in my fabulously hot, luxurious scented, oiled bubble bath, I can easily regale you with further tales of the adventures I have had thus far on this wonderous blue and brown spherical rock that is third in line from our star. And I do not have to type with two fingers either, which is a massive bonus let me tell you!
If memory serves… ahh yes, we had just returned to the car where I saw a sign of my Magus’s humour on display in the form of his licence plate.
I do have to admit dear reader, I was indeed highly amused. He knows he’s going to hell, he just insists that it be on his terms! I love it! Such confidence, such audacious willpower.
That is exceedingly… stimulating for Succubi.
Ok dammit, it makes me tremendously horny, and I’m not talking about the ones on my head either you know! We are incredibly lusty beings, us Succubi, after all.
I was already in a highly ‘excited’ state when we got to the car, so much so that I had to use my Cell Adjustment Psionic discipline to tremendously dull down my inflamed senses as I did not wish to leave the tell-tale mark of my inflamed passion on the lower back portion of my new dress and also not on the car-seat when I sat back down in the vehicle.
Ahem…
After a few moments, which caused the Magus to glance up at me with a slightly puzzled expression, of standing outside the car (he had no idea nor cared… hmmph!) I opened the door and folded myself back inside the vehicle and resumed my seat. I later learned that I could have mostly avoided this… embarrassment… by actually wearing what you call absorbent lined underwear! I wasn’t wearing panties at the time as I was totally unaware of their existence. I do so now as its much more comfortable in lots of ways and in addition, stops the shiver when an errant chill wind blows unexpectedly up your gusset!
Moving on…
Getting into the car, the Magus paused until I had done up my seatbelt before starting the engine, waiting for another car to pass us by before safely pulling out and sedately driving off. I later learned that we could have gone screaming down the road in a cloud of burning rubber if the Magus was of a mind to. I would have if given the opportunity! Something to look forward to dear reader.
Instead, we drifted slowly through the placidly moving traffic as I watched the sun descend below the horizon of the ocean. I had only been back here on Earth for a few hours but every second was total bliss. I do not think that most of you humans realize how good you have it here. Even those who do not reside in the more developed and advanced nations, being on Earth is special.
There are infinity more worse places you can be, let me assure you of that.
We drove back mostly the way had travelled to this particular beach. This time though it was much later in the day, heading in the opposite direction, I became aware of many more things that had escaped my attention earlier on.
We passed by denser zones and clusters of buildings where I could see various shops, food outlets, restaurants and varying vendors, all brightly lit up now as the daylight was fading. I saw incredibly tall metal poles with blazing, glowing lights illuminating the surrounds with a warm yellowy orange glow making it still easy to see. Electric lighting will never cease to amaze me. Yes dear reader, I can experience a sense of wonder and joy at simple things, even beyond the act of slaughter and soul draining. Would it astonish you that I like flowers? Such strange lifeforms that had developed aromas they use as a method of propagation. Delightful.
Anyway… we shortly crested the hill that we had previous ascended westwards earlier on the way to the beach and I then saw it!
I was awestruck once again.
Towering edifices, glittering, shining buildings monstrously higher than Hagia Sophia was, the most immense human made structure in the world when I was last in it. These glistening towers of glass, metal and stone made that church look like a feeble children’s toy. I could see over a dozen of these buildings of varying size, clustered together in less than a square mile.
The Magus glanced to his left and saw me gaping at them.
“They’re called Sky Scrappers Meridiana. They’re generally office buildings, places of business where people daily work in their wage-slave jobs then go home at night. The buildings are left vacant but light up at night as you can clearly see.”
I turned and gawped at him.
“They’re empty at night?”
I could not comprehend why such space, that had amazing views, would be left empty of an evening?
“Yep. Well most of them are. There will be some that still have people in them, conducting various types of business overnight because its what they do for a living.”
“What do they do?” I asked in a murmur as I turned back to see the vista be obscured by a large set of commercial and residential buildings that we were currently passing.
The Magus shrugged.
“They’ll be doing all sorts of things, financial trading, working back late to do their jobs… various affairs of commerce and such. It’s not that important really Meridiana. I’ll take you into the city another day when we have time for you to be a tourist. Now, if I may, I want to know more about your Telekinesis. I got an idea of how much you can lift, probably over 1400 kilograms at least if my guess as to how much a warhorse in armour with a rider would weigh… maybe more? Probably more but we’ll test that later. Anyway, it’s your fine control skills I’m interested in.”
I turned back to the Magus who was looking ahead, driving us through the busy traffic that had become a factor. I later learned that it was a time of day called ‘rush hour’.
“I am capable of very delicate manipulation with my Telekinesis, especially in regards to the erotic arts,” I said to him with a husky, low, salacious purr.
“That’s cute but I really want to know if you could snatch out of the air and control a very small, fast moving bouncing ball, say the size of your thumbnail?” he asked in an offhand manner as he slowed down due to the traffic which was banking up in front of us.
I inwardly sighed once more. Such a challenge he was!
“Yes I can but why?”
He briefly turned to me and broadly grinned before returning his attention to driving.
“There’s a game that we will ‘play’ after dinner. It is called Roulette. The game features a spinning wheel with thirty seven little slots. Into the spinning wheel a little white ball is spun in and circles around, eventually slowing and bouncing into once of the numbered slots. The slots are alternately coloured red or black and all are numbered from 00 to 36. You can bet where the ball will land, either in red or black and specifically in a numbered slot. If the ball lands in a slot you bet on, you get a payout of thirty seven to one. Ever dollar you bet wins you 37 back. You can also just bet on which colour the ball will land in giving you your money back plus it’s value as a reward. Bet $100, you get your $100 back plus another $100.”
“Dollar... that’s money right?” I said as the implications slowly dawned on me. You could make a fortune from this!
“Yes Meridiana. Dollars are what we use as currency these days. Gold is still used but not in the way you were used to. It’s still valuable as are other precious metals but that’s going to take a long explanation which is a distraction for now. So, do you think you could perhaps catch the bouncing ball with your power, directing it into the number we bet on?”
I thought about it for a few moments.
“I will have to see how the ball moves but I think I could, yes.”
“Excellent. You stand to make us a lot of money tonight. There are other games like card games, slot machines which I’m uncertain that your powers would be able to mess with. Roulette is our hunting ground. We must be careful though.”
“Why?”
I was surprised by his tone of caution. We were power incarnate! What could possibly touch us?
“Casinos hate losing money. Roulette is going to be the hardest one they can prove that we’re cheating on if you use your Telekinesis. We will be closely watched the entire time we are in the casino. There are devices called cameras, similar to Crystal Balls, that observe everything they see, relaying the images back to people in other rooms whose task it is to spot potential cheaters in the casino. They also have people walking the floor, disguised as ordinary folk, always watching everyone else. And I want to avoid the eyes of any infernal beings who may be in the casino.”
“Ahh… I see… a healthy paranoia then, for them and us hmm?”
He nodded once, emphatically.
If you have a fortune, you need to protect it, especially from people like me. His caution in regards to our identity was also most prudent and he was correct that there was a possibility that there may be others of my ilk lurking in the shadows, walking in human form as we often do.
I have to confess dear reader, that I am a master thief as well as an expert assassin, in addition to being an accomplished warrior although I rarely fight in hand to hand combat, preferring seduction, subterfuge and skulduggery as my main methods of killing. Yet still, I can fight and kill extremely proficiently with many weapons, being skilled at one of the highest levels of melee combat, the use of weapons and ways of fighting with them. I’ve been around a while you know? You pick up on things like that if you wish to live as long as I have.
Besides… stabby, stabby, stabby, bash, slash and smite can be loads of fun when you’re doing the stabbing and bashing with a well-balanced blade or mace in your hands. But I digress…
“You have it Meridiana. Yes the casinos’ management are extremely paranoid. We will have to alter our appearance as well before we enter the casino. I shall use a minor low level spell while you can take a new face. We will do so after dinner.”
I nodded then a thought came to me. I asked,
“You said we were going to something called a buffet? I know what the word means as my abilities allow me to understand any spoken language, much like the enchantment known as Tongues. Yet I’m finding it hard to match the word with the concept.”
The Magus raised an eyebrow in interest at this revelation.
“Oh right. Just because you know a word doesn’t mean you automatically understanding it conceptually and in context either. Good to know. Well, a buffet is an enormous array of various foods, hot and cold, sweet to savoury, where you merely help yourself and consume as much as you wish. You pay for the privilege of course.”
“Truly? How much will this cost you?” I inquired wide eyed.
I noticed that we had moved through the traffic and had turned down a descending road and were now going into a massive concrete tunnel along with hundreds of other cars, all slowly moving in the same direction. It was quite honestly astounding that everyone was not smashing into one another. All the drivers were…well mostly were, attentive to their immediate surrounds and situation as we gradually merged our car into the main lane of traffic which was making its way under the earth via the huge yawning tunnel ahead.
Such staggering feats of engineering and construction which would have made the Emperor Justinian weep copious, bitter tears of pure envy. Oh how I wished I could make him see this and realise his idiotic boast was pointless when he finished Hagia Sophia. He bragged that he had surpassed Solomon himself with his church. He had but it wasn’t worth it. Justinian nearly bankrupted the Eastern Roman Empire, all for a useless church and his own vanity.
Moron.
Still, I shouldn’t care, his hubris ended up sending him to hell anyway so... yay! His actions also exacerbated the effects of the famine and plague that swept the through the empire and western Europe in the year 535 with his stupid desire to re-unify the Roman empire under his rule. You will be please to know dear reader, that he is burning in eternal torment for his multitude of sins so it is all good. My thoughts of deceased, vainglorious emperors and their fate was interrupted as the Magus spoke again,
“Hmm? … it should set us back about $80 each I’d should say? A small price to pay in all honesty when you see what is on offer. Drinks will be on top of that price, unless you just have plain water but tonight Meridiana, I shall introduce you to Champagne, one of humanities greatest achievements.”
This was enticing to hear!
“If you say so Magus. I completely believe you as you will not be lying to me,” I said, nodding and trying to think about Champagne.
So many new concepts were entering my mind, it was hard to keep my mind and thoughts in order. I understood that Champagne was a special type of wine, one which had a fizz embodied within it, making it highly regarded but that’s all I could deduce for now.
Also… I had a thought: the Magus could and would never lie to me. The feeling I had earlier, in being able to trust everything he said to me because of the oath he gave to me, was an unfettering sensation.
All my existence I have dealt with bare faced lairs, deceivers, misshapers of the truth who twisted words to suit their own selfish ends. With the Magus, all I had to be concerned with was his agenda, which actually had my interests aligned with his own. Truly remarkable.
I needed that champagne now!
We emerged from the tunnel, traveling with the traffic over wide dark river, again on another immense concrete bridge this time. There was a gigantic colosseum off to our right, all lit up with multiple coloured lights that ran around the circumference of the structure. It was like a it was enveloped in a rainbow. Frankly, it was amazing to behold.
Beyond that, I could see many more large towers and structures, lining the sides of the vast road we were hurtling along now. The Magus had increased our speed as traffic had thinned out. Never in my life had I moved so fast, well unless I was using a Haste spell to briefly increase my physical speed, which I use in combat if necessary.
I barely had the sense we were travelling in the car at roughly 80kph. Such an odd experience to have for the first time. There was no rushing of wind, no press of air on my face, just comfort and air-conditioning. Marvellous!
After a few minutes later I saw our destination.
Again I was nearly stupefied by the gigantic structure. Multiple massive buildings, all surrounded by lush green, well-manicured and maintained gardens made my jaw go slack with disbelief.
“That’s Crown Casino, Towers and hotel Meridiana. I can see you are impressed. Let me just say that if you think this is amazing, wait until we go to Las Vegas…” he said as he turned the car into the driveway of the complex.
“There’s even more impressive structures than this?”
My mind boggled dear reader. It was almost too much to take in.
“Yep. My city is a small one compared to other around the globe. We will travel to them, in due course. I know you can use your powers of Dimensional Walking, moving through other planes of reality and appearing on a different part of the planet. However, there will be times when we will need to travel together conventionally. Perhaps one day, if I learn the rights spell, we will be able to avoid having to fly in an aeroplane and by-pass the utter tediousness of baggage check-ins, airport security and so on…” he muttered darkly.
“HUMANS CAN FLY!?!” I said in a loud strangled astonished voice.
The Magus chuckled with genuine amusement.
“Think back Meridiana. I said humanity has been to the moon and back. I said we can travel safely and comfortably in a machine, called an aircraft, across the planet. Some ‘planes are huge while others are not much bigger than the car. Oh, that reminds me, we will have to construct an identity for you. We will begin that process tomorrow. You are going to need a passport soon enough,” he said as he found a relatively unoccupied parking area west of the massive structures.
He saw my puzzled expression and mistook it for wondering why we had parked here.
“It’s free to park here and there are hardly any security cameras in the vicinity.”
I nodded dumbly.
“But of course Magus…”
He saw my expression as he switched off the engine. A tiny look of… sympathy appeared on his face. He spoke to me in a soft, calm, soothing tone,
“Take a breath Meridiana. Close your eyes and focus upon the stillness within the vehicle. You are safe here with me. Nothing will harm us. Just breathe and relax, let each breath calm you. With every breath you are at peace within yourself and the world around you.”
I did as he said and instantly sensed my whirling mind begin to centre itself, become still.
I may be an ancient and powerful demon dear reader, however I have been imprisoned for nigh on a thousand years and now have been released into a world that I was unable to recognise at all.
The Magus later told me I was suffering from a psychological malady called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yes dear reader, even us demons can get mentally fucked up. I mean, compared to the average human, we’re all demented, tormented psychopaths which explains a lot about ourselves but still… even a psychopath can suffer from mental trauma. Demons can go insane.
I breathed rhythmically, each exhaling breath calming me. With one final exhalation, I opened my eyes, turned to my Magus and softly smiled at him.
“Thank you,” was all I said. I meant it.
He nodded briefly, his intensely burning eyes boring into mine, deeply searching, looking for signs of any madness that may still be lingering within. Well, there’s always the hunger for sex and mayhem, but that’s natural for me.
“Come on, you look fine now, let’s go,” he said as he got out of the car.
I followed his example, releasing my seat belt and stepping out of the car. Closing the car door behind me, walked over to the Magus then I threaded my right arm around his left as we walked off like a normal couple, casually strolling through the car park towards the casino and hotel.
I could hear the noise of all the adjacent traffic all still travelling busily along the massive road that went past the enormous complex. There was the calls of various birds I’d never heard before, the waft of scented flowering plants and the heavy aroma of moisture in the air from the nearby river. I closed my eyes for a second just to let it all wash over me as I sedately walked along with my Magus.
Soon we came to the entrance. Huge dark glass doors magically opened for us upon our arrival. To my right I could see various coloured signage, advertising the types of ‘fast food’ eateries that people could choose to dine at. They were all brightly lit and mostly clean.
It was at that moment I saw my first wretch.
A dishevelled, unkempt, shabby man sat listless outside the fast food eateries upon the low stone wall that contained a small, well-kept garden. He looked up at us as we approached, his eyes full of misery and despair.
“Got any spare change?”
“Sorry mate, no one carries cash anymore,” lied my Magus to him with a conciliatory voice, a sad but brief compassionate smile appeared briefly on his face.
The wretched man’s face became even more resigned. He nodded back in understanding, returning his fallen face back to morosely contemplating the ground at his feet.
We kept walking, leaving the broken man behind us.
I was about to congratulate the Magus in his treatment of the beggar when I had to stop as I was confronted by an incredible sight.
Before us, in the huge well-lit lobby of the building, was a huge pair of MOVING METAL STAIRCASES!
One staircase ascended while another came down from the landing some 50 feet above us. On either side were normal, marble clad stairs that some people were using. Yet many other people were on the moving metal stairs, all just taking the experience of being raised or lowered completely for granted.
“It’s just an escalator Meridiana. A simple machine that makes life a little more comfortable. Take it, go for a ride. I’m taking the stairs as I need the incidental exercise,” he said to me as he pried my clutching hands from his arm. I had been unconsciously gripping him tightly in my amazement at seeing such a machine.
The Magus walked off to the left, climbing the steps briskly while I gingerly walked forwards, watching the metal stairs endless appear and ascend upwards. The hand rail also moved in synchronicity with the metal stairs. I observed as a pair of young women, chatting intently to each other, walked past me and up to stand upon a metal stair which was part of dozens of metal stairs it seemed. I saw them be lifted by the moving stairs, rising above and away from me.
Summoning my courage, I stepped forwards onto a moving stair, wobbled slightly as I was not used to the speed which it moved, making me grab the moving banister tightly to steady myself as I rode my way upwards. I let out a small laugh as it was such a novel experience. The young women in front of me turned around at my laugh, raising their eyebrows at me as well as actually truly seeing me for the first time. Their smiles faded as I grinned back at them.
The young women could see my infinitely superior beauty on full display. They looked hesitant, now uncertain of themselves as they mistakenly believed themselves to be beautiful. They were, passible, not ugly but not worthy of a harem to be perfectly honest. I later learned dear reader that many foolish young women, especially in what you call the western world, regard themselves as queens, rating themselves ten out of ten on a scale of dazzling good looks. These sad women are delusional. I mean, if they were that beautiful, why weren’t their faces on the covers of the glossy magazines I see in various ‘supermarket’ check outs? No matter, vanity and hubris are all ways to damnation and misery. So many people sending themselves to eternal torment simply because they were raised by idiotic parents who never properly taught their children the need for humility. It’s all win-win for the pits you know…
My Magus met me at the top of the stairs, holding out his hand to me and then leading me through the vast interior of the complex.
“That’s the casino,” he indicated to our right.
Looking, I could see dozens of people making their way inside into the brightly lit and noisy interior of the casino. I caught the whiff of desperation, despair, avarice, lust, elation and a strong aroma of human urine. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Yes, even I have some standards dear reader.
“Magus, why does it reek of piss?” I asked as we strolled by and proceeded into the most immense, glass covered atrium I have ever seen.
“Oh, you can smell that?” He looked intrigued.
I nodded with a mild look of disgust.
“Hah… interesting. Well… some gamblers get stuck on a poker machine. They sit there for hours, desperately hoping that the machine they are playing on will pay out. The poor fools stupidly believe that if they play at the machine long enough, they’ll win big. So they stay seated, ignoring to relieve their bodily urges, to the extent that they prefer to piss themselves rather than abandon the machine that is draining away their money. The poor fools are incapable of understanding that the machine is designed to rarely pay out. Every time they play, it has a simple algorithm that calculates the chance of a payout. Most machines will payout a small amount of money occasionally, thus keeping the gambler hooked in the mistaken belief that the big one is just around the corner. It rarely, if ever, is.”
I stopped, stunned at what I just heard. The Magus stopped and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
“That’s… diabolically genius!” I stuttered as I considered the fiendish brilliance of the whole concept.
Someone had made hell on earth not only possible but also could make a fortune from it as well as breaking people’s souls and spirits in the process! The concept of dangling hope in front of a damned soul, then snatching it away was one of the oldest known tortures of hell. This was a magnificent, a culmination of the perfection of thousands upon thousands of years of the torture, all neatly packaged in a fairly simple machine designed to beggar it’s user and turn them into slaves to it. Gobsmacking was the only word I could think off that fully encapsulated the way I felt at that moment.
“Yes it is, isn’t it? I have always suspected that those machines were most likely invented by a demon. It makes perfect sense,” he said as he shrugged, then tilted his head, indicating we should proceed onwards.
I noddled dumbly as again, I had been totally overwhelmed by the latest piece of information the Magus informed of. I barely registered the hundreds of people all wandering around the massive lobby of the hotel atrium. Many were dressed finely while others, mostly men, were dressed casually. My Magus was one of them, still wearing his novelty T-shirt and hemp pants. They were clean though and his shoes, a brand known as Babuuk, made him look somehow better dressed then the other men who were similarly attired. Maybe it was just his subtle aurora of power, his sheer confidence and his towering Will that made him stand out from the mouth breathers all around us? I guess it was.
We arrived at the entrance of the restaurant and the Magus was greeted was a short Asian woman, dressed neatly in the hotels livery.
I started to realise that there were people of so many different races of humanity all around us. I had come from a time where only what was left of the Eastern Roman Empire was this diverse, and even then it was but a shadow of the heyday of the full glory that was Rome. Here were people from almost all the lands of earth, all happily co-mingling, getting on with having dinner with family and friends. Very surprising indeed.
The Asian woman at the reception counter spoke to us with a friendly smile,
“Good evening sir, madam. A table for two for you then?” she asked politely, her voice tinged with a broad accent I had not heard before. She spoke English yet I could tell that wasn’t her first language.
“Yes please,” politely replied the Magus.
This was something I did not expect. Despite his and my obvious power, he was respectful and even kind to the servants. All of them. He didn’t condescend nor sneer down at the servants of the hotel. It is still something I have difficulty reconciling. I said nothing, just observed. Oh, he has since instructed me not to call them servants, they are members of staff and will be treated with respect until they show they do not deserve it, then they are fair game. I can live with that.
“Table seventy one is ready for you both, have a lovely evening.”
She actually meant it! I could see it in her eyes, she was truly enjoying her task. She was smiling and joking with her fellow staff members, politely greeting the next people behind us with her cheerful friendly demeanour.
Astonishing.
In my prior experiences, servants and slaves were a miserable lot but then again, that was understandable. They had no choice as to their circumstances. They had to obey lest they suffer harsh punishment.
As we proceeded into the large dining room, with over a hundred tables of varying sizes, I could see off to my left where the food was.
I stopped again and stared dear reader.
I have been to banquets with Emperors and Kings, Popes and Princes, all sumptuous feasts but nothing was like what I saw before me. Dozens upon dozens of people had plates in their hands, all calmly wandering around the incredible cornucopia of varieties of food that were on display, all brightly lit up for them to simply help themselves to as much as their plate could hold.
Roasted meats, all neatly carved by expert chefs, freshly shucked oysters all seated in enormous silver ice-filled serving bowls, trays upon trays of cooked vegetables of kinds I had never seen before and… a dazzling array of sweet desserts and treats that made me almost go weak at the knees at the very sight of them.
“Come on Meridiana, you’re starting to drool,” whispered the Magus gently into my ear as he dabbed my wet lips with a soft piece of paper that he withdrew from his pants pockets.
Once again I nodded dumbly as I allowed him to escort me to our table. He even seated me, pushing me and my chair in one I had sat down. After he had taken his seat, a young man, quite a handsome one from the Indus I believed?... came over to us, again dressed in the livery of the hotel.
“Good evening, sir, madam. Would you care for something to drink?” he inquired ever so politely.
“And good evening to you sir. Yes indeed, may we please have a bottle of Verve Clicquot, two glasses and a bottle of San Pellegrino sparkling water?” he asked with a real smile to the servant… no member of staff.
“Of course sir, I shall get that for you immediately,” replied the waiter with a pleased smile at being spoken to so politely.
“Thank you,” said the Magus then he turned to me and asked,
“Do you need a moment Meridiana? I understand this might trigger you again…”
I shook my head.
“No. It is overwhelming… but in a good way Magus. I have to ask, how can a place like this provide so many people with so much food? Even in the height of the Empire, there were magnificent feasts to be sure but… you say this happens everyday, that this is just a Tuesday and not a busy night?”
He nodded.
“This is the age of abundance Meridiana. Many of us, who live in what is known as The West, have dwelt in an age of such wealth and richness that almost all here never think on their incredible luck and privilege to live in such times. They do not know that it will come to an end. Maybe that is a small mercy. All golden ages end as you well know. So I say, let them dwell in ignorant bliss for now. We can enjoy it while it lasts.”
“Huh? Why do you believe that your golden age will end Magus?”
“It’s a long explanation and one I do not wish to go into detail here and now Meridiana but later, I will share my thoughts with you on this. Ahh, here comes our champagne.”
The waiter and another staff member had returned, with one carrying two bottles while the other had a metal bucket partially filled with ice. The waiter from the Indus placed both bottles on our table, displayed the label to the Magus who briefly nodded. Then, the waiter removed the cork from the bottle with an adroit twist of his writ. It made a pleasing pop and I could see a little haze of cold… smoke? lightly emanate from the neck of the bottle. He poured the brightly bubbling and fizzing wine into both our glasses, carefully making sure the foam did not overflow them. He was very good at his task.
“Thank you good sir,” said my Magus to the waiter who beamed back at him with a happy smile. He placed the bottle into the bucket of ice and withdrew, leaving us alone, amidst the crowed dinning room.
The Magus took up his glass, holding it in front of him. I mirrored him.
“Here’s to a good dinner with interesting company and later, ripping the shit out of a casino Meridiana.” He pushed his glass gently forwards, lightly clinking it against mine. I wasn’t familiar at the time with that form of salute and toast but went with it anyway, after all… when in Rome as they used to say.
“That sounds… delightful Magus. I am eager for it all.”
I then took a sip of my champagne and was transported into a realm of heavenly bliss.
It was exquisite.

Due to trauma in childhood, BPD sufferers may have experienced arrested development of the self in childhood associated with an anxious attachment and a weak or distorted sense of identity: I elaborate on this below.
The normal development of self involves the following stages :
Approximately 6 months : the capacity for self-observation develops.
Approximately 12 months : the capacity for symbolic thinking becomes well established as does a ‘sense of self’.
Approximately 7 to 11 years : the capacity for concrete operational thinking becomes established, as does an intense emotional life. Also, at this stage, the child becomes increasingly concerned about his / her interaction with his / her peers.
Adolescence : the capacity for concrete operational thinking continues to develop as does the ability to negotiate increasingly complex and nuanced social interactions.
Early Adulthood : concerns turn to intimacy and family.
Mid-Life : concerns extend to wider society.
Later Life : world view / understanding deepens ; metaphysical concerns may become increasingly profound.
However, those who have experienced significant and protracted childhood trauma FAIL TO DEVELOP A STRONG SENSE OF SELF / SELF-IDENTITY, especially if they developed, due to their upbringing, an ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE (Main et al., 2002).
An anxious attachment style can develop when an emotionally unstable parent (particularly a parent prone to explosive outbursts of rage) causes their child to have to be hyper-alert / hypervigilant regarding this parent’s unpredictably changing moods as a form of self-preservation (my own mother’s emotions fluctuated wildly which had an effect on me that made me able to sense how she was feeling from the minutest change in her expression, intonation or body language, and, to this day, I am able instantly to pick up on the most subtle of people’s changes in mood via tacit signs to which others may be oblivious).
Sadly, too, children brought up by such parents are unconsciously indoctrinated into developing the core belief that their own, personal concerns, worries, anxieties and needs are, at best, secondary to those of their emotionally unstable parent.
Whilst, on the surface, the child / young person may appear to be ‘coping’ with such impossibly onerous responsibilities, there is often an extremely heavy emotional price to be paid in later life.
There are three main ways in which childhood trauma can impair the development of self; these are as follows :
No strong sense of self is developed ; instead, a ‘false self’ is created that tends to take its cues about how to behave from the expectations of others, so lacks autonomy, authenticity and consistency.
A less weak sense of self than the above type, but still a very fragile sense of self which is kept hidden due to a sense of shame and of being judged and rejected.
The third type of self develops as a result of an emotionally over-involved parent / primary caretaker. The self is undeveloped as the individual has grown up to ‘learn’ (on an unconscious level) that s/he must be hypervigilant to the parent’s / primary caretaker’s needs (and, by extension, as s/he gets older, to the needs of others) – such individuals may become ‘chronic caretakers’ of others whilst remaining neglectful of their own needs and lacking in assertiveness and in a sense of personal boundaries.

I was going to post this on the reincarnation sub, but I felt that it fit this sub better. So I'm a full-blown nihilist at this point, and I'm only 23. I think we all know that death is inevitable. But lately, I've genuinely been of the mindset that death is not the end. It literally doesn't matter what you think regarding the subject because when we die, it's over. At least for this life. I just believe that if you read into metaphysics, your belief in the matter can wildly change.
For example, "The law of conservation of energy states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed - only converted from one form of energy to another. And if you really think about this, it would make a lot of sense that our energy would simply be converted to another state. Maybe to another body. Again, nobody knows. Scientists have come out and said that they can't be sure about anything. After all, they can only provide theories. Reincarnation is kind of a scary idea because living kind of feels like hell to me. Maybe the next life could be better though. I genuinely do think we are going to exist for eternity, though.

For me it seems that my depression comes from anxiety, and anxiety comes from a fear of not "already being where I should be." I believe this may be caused by genetic factors but triggered and exacerbated by the circumstances around my teenage adult years.
For context I'm 33 M. I was homeschooled in my life. My parents split when I was 5, dad is a special ed teacher and used to be a pro musician with some success. Mom is uneducated and has low self esteem. Mom remarried neuropsychologist, dad was absent. Mom divorced psychologist when I was 15. Then immediately started dating another guy and decided to move in with him ASAP, I begged her not to as it was too much transition but she chose that over me. I went to a couple years of public school but dropped out and got my GED because I was too depressed. Moved out when I was 18. Worked some random jobs-- vintage store, butcher. Practiced guitar. Took some bs community college courses. By 21 I started a band, ended up touring the country with fair success but it didn't continue to build. I had Quit my jobs and lived cheap during this time. Did that til I was 26/27. Band started to dissipate as everyone was tired of the road. It was a good time sometimes but I had cyclical depression and always felt like I was an imposter, and trying to "be a musician" sometimes felt like it was killing me. I spent some time at my dads house once that band dissipated and I just relaxed and painted and played music and ate well and I was no longer depressed. I met a guy who wanted to play this super niche style of music I was into and bam all the sudden I had a music project again. Did that for 2 years hard. Played 300 gigs (corner of restaurant "blue collar" musician gigs) in 2018 and was totally burned out although I did make a lower middle class living doing it. Super depressed I was looking for an escape and somehow found a friend who got me in at a small tech company testing software. Which despite having no degree or experience I somehow was good enough at. That got my confidence back up and freed me up from the pressure of "being a musician." But after about 6 months I started to long for my own thing and began working to book more gigs and develop my career. By the end of the year I was dying trying to gig all the time and work at the company. Then Covid hit in 2020 and I got laid off and lived on unemployment. With the goal of taking my next music project forward I came out of the pandemic swinging and recorded an album and released it and played all over my region -- festivals clubs etc -- had the best possible 2022 it could've been. Then it was over and winter came and I was depressed again. The idea of continuing trying to be a musician when I go thru these depressions is sickening cause I know I won't consistently do a good job and eventually I'll be bitter.
Anyway I'm ranting telling a snapshot of my life story-- but all of this to say-- I feel as if I've been running in a sort of survival/fight or flight mode for most of my teen and adult life. I've oscillated between periods of extreme focus and energy and productivity --all based around the idea that if I worked hard enough I could get myself to be a "successful" (examples: as a musician that meant to have a team of folks that kept my career on track and I could just perform, and be making 60k + a year and be adored and loved because of my abilities etc.) -- and period of absolute low self esteem, hopelessness and "why have I chosen this path I don't even like music", a soul crushing depression and anxiety cluster that makes me want to not exist. Also to note it's not even fully about the money -- it's like I don't enjoy the music anymore and music is a life consuming vocation when you feel the need to not be broke which I do. I'm not doing bad considering : I have 35k in a Roth, 25 k in a brokerage, and around 60k in cash saved. But I don't feel like I have a life. When I'm loving it I'm fully focused on music and when I'm not I'm desperately trying to find some way to escape.
That's where I am now. I'm on meds and all that too. But apart of me is wondering if I quit my life, go back and live at my dads house where there is always healthy food and nature, get a really good exercise routine going and stop this insane hustle I've been in, then once im recovered calmly go get an education in a field that interests me and would allow me to make decent money and then get a job I feel qualified for and more or less integrate into society in the normal way-- would I cure this awful anxiety and depression that surrounds the uncertainty of "my place in the world " and stress of trying to make money as a musician and set me up with a more sane and structured life? Or would I probably be just as depressed and sad doing anything once the stress / pressure of any job or school came back --no matter if I took time to try and reset my nervous system by taking all the pressure off-- then I'd be like "fuck why did I walk away from the cool music stuff I had built?"
TLDR-- does anyone have any experience with literally walking away from your current life while depressed and recovering with no pressure (a privilege I know) then re entering society and changing how you live/what you do?

The matchmaking is worse than its ever been. The matches are almost always one sided. Teammates won't surrender so im stuck in a long match where the enemy doesn't know how to end the game. Especially with this gem weekend makes matchmaking even worse.
The God balancing is shit. All gods should be as close to A and A+ tier as possible there are too many gods that are above A+ and below A.
Most tanks do too much damage when they build full defense especially with the hybrid items. And yes there are hybrid items depending on how you define hybrid. For me it's a defense or health item that increases damage output in any way Attack speed or item procs.
Console players can't receive or send whispers. We can't see post match chat either.
Ranked should not be crossplay you can't have a competitive mode where one platform has an advantage over the others.
Also if HiRez is going to add crossplay they need to add cross save so console players can have the option to switch to the better platform. Understandable they want more money but it's a bad choice.
I loved the game in the earlier season slowly started hating it hoped season 10 would bring back some life into it. Bringing back old players and bringing in new but I feel as if the player base is to small to fix matchmaking my main problem with the game. I just had to rant I know it was a lot.
TLDR: matchmaking sucks. Balancing sucks. Tanks shouldn't do tons of damage. Cross save should be implemented.