Anybody else just be walking down the street and feel like they are 40ft tall ?
Sometimes I will be walking and I’ll feel like im larger than life. The sky scrapers are cut in half and every person/cathing I see I feel I’m twice as big as them.
I’m not sure if this is depersonalization but I experience it here and there.
I can also be in a store and when I’m looking for something on the shelf I can’t tell how far away I am or if it’s right in front of me. Shits so fucking weird.
Something is happening to my brain. I have depression but I seriously think something else is at play.

At the beginning of the book when Grace first wakes up he finds the Hail Mary crest in Mission Control which has his name on it. He then finds clothes with his name as well. But shouldn’t all that have DuBois’ name on it because Grace replaced him within 10 days of departure? Grace complains later in the book about how he didn’t get to make his personal kit because Stratt knocked him out and forced him to go on the mission without any proper preparation after DuBois’ death. But then he finds his name on everything and he has clothes that are his proper size? Is this a plot hole to keep the reader thinking Grace volunteered? I’m interested in hearing people’s thoughts.

I have played the game for 3 days, and I am really disappointed with level scaling. It simply kills all the fun.
First of all, there is no sense of accomplishment anymore. You can't go back to starting areas and bask in your glory, enjoying your progress.
Second, it punishes you for playing the game. If you like to explore, if you try to do all the side quests, soon you will find yourself in a situation when you outlevel your gear by 10-15 levels. It means that enemies will be hurting you more while you won't be able to do as much damage to them as before. This is especially bad in hardcore (and I play only hardcore), as leveling up too fast actually can lead you to your death. You can't, like in previous games, simply go to previous area to grind some loot. I am forced to create new alts to run events with them for obols, to buy loot for my main, to gamble in hopes that I will get good enough gear to pursue the game further. And obol lottery sucks big time, I can tell you - not only you get mostly blue and white items, but items you get are rarely higher than your level minus 10 (with my level 42 sorc I am getting lvl 32 items mostly). I now have 4 alts that I use to run events for obols for my main. Four, because, remember, you can't level too fast with any of your chars.
I really do hope that Blizzard will change this, introduce at least some area level brackets. This open world, go anywhere concept was good on paper, but it isn't suitable for a game like Diablo.
Ok, that's it. Just wanted to vent.

My husband(33m) and I(30f) have been married 6 years. We’ve been best friends for 10. I feel like the pressure of marriage and children caused him to try to constantly escape mentally and resent me. Typical, I know. He was often distant and irritable and made it clear he would rather be smoking marijuana, watching porn, playing video games, or lusting after other coworkers even if there was no physical cheating. Regardless of all of this, I swear, he is still one of the best men I’ve ever met. He’s just human. I love him very much.
However, I think I was in denial of my husband not loving me as much as I love him. I always felt like I wasn’t perfect either so I should not expect so much of him. He’s the avoidant, I’m the anxiously attached.
I tried over and over to “save” our marriage for our kids. All with very little cooperation from him. He was a provider and was not interested in anything extra.
My breaking point was in December. He had often been rough during sex but it was getting out of control. I told him I don’t want him watching porn anymore because it was affecting our sex life(he watched a lot of fantasy rape porn).
He agreed but I really felt like he was lying so one night I went through his phone and what I found shocked me. He was watching a ton of porn(he obviously had an addiction). He also had an onlyfans(I’ve 100% mentioned before I would not be ok with it) and he subscribed and paid to many women, including “teen” girls. I found he saved multiple images and videos of these “18” year old girls from their social media. I also found he casually and sexually talked to one of them that he seemed to really like. It disgusts me because I looked at her social media and she was in fact about to start college. Meaning she was in highschool when they started talking on onlyfans(he claims to know none of this and didn’t notice her age). I also found he had looked up a coworker for his porn stash and he tried to message her on Facebook(he later admitted to having a crush on her and masturbating to her and that this was not the first coworker he masturbated to).
I was so horrified and heartbroken that I thought I was having a heart attack. For 2 entire weeks my heart physically hurt so bad I almost went to the hospital. I am a very strong advocate for older men not getting involved in ANY way with young girls. He insists that porn just desensitized him and he didn’t think of her as really 18, just hot. I’m just still so disgusted. It was also right before I turned 30 so it destroyed my self esteem. I had poured everything I had into this man for 6 years.
He blamed it all on porn addiction. I did research on porn addiction and tried to save our marriage again. He had promised to delete everything and be open and let me see his phone whenever. One night I had a few glasses of wine and I tried to grab his phone and he refused. The way I remember it was trying to grab it and ask to go through it, he refused so I flipped and tried to pull the phone out of his hands. He then got up, threw me to the ground full force and broke my ring finger. Yes, the one my ring goes on. He said I was much more aggressive(I don’t remember this) and he had to throw me to get me to stop.
My ring finger healed slightly crooked because I had to take my splint off so much as a stay at home moms to two young kids. My ring no longer fits on it.
I feel like this was some sort of ridiculous sign where I can literally no longer unsee how damaging and toxic this marriage is.
I finally told him I’m done for good this time. Whenever we would get in fights or separate in the past, if he apologized and swore to change I would go right back to him immediately, giving him whatever he wanted so he would want this marriage this time. I think he thought I would never leave. Probably because I have no family, few friends, no income, and am unhealthily obsessed with him.
This time I pulled the strength I needed out of thin air and was really done. I was prepared to take the kids and I to a shelter if I needed to(he’s punched a few holes in the wall before when I’ve made him mad).
My whole demeanor towards him changed. I almost don’t even recognize myself anymore because normally I’d forgive him and we’d be in the “just worked things out everything is happy again” phase by now.
At first my husband was ok with divorcing and was being civil and it was such a relief, but he is freaking out all of the sudden, I’ve never seen him like this either. He started going back to therapy. He’s researching his issues and apologizing to me for all these little things he finally recognizes. He recently got a huge promotion and he is saying he will buy us a house since we can finally afford it.
He’s treating me like I always wanted. A house is what I’ve always wanted for my kids. I don’t think I will ever be able to give them anything but a shitty apartment if I leave. I can’t help but feel like I can see two sides of my life and the one that gives my kids and I the best life is staying with him.
He’s begging me to go to marriage counseling but I don’t want to. A switch flipped in me. I refuse to have sex with him, I refuse to give him any part of me other than civil conversation and friendship at most.
There is this part of me that just can’t turn back but there is this other part of me that is already starting to consider it. Even if it means driving myself into paranoia again.
Should I take him back or would I be an absolute fool?

Whew, what another sensational basho! Many expected the former ōzeki Asanoyama to take the yūshō for himself due to Terunofuji coming back from knee surgery - however, the kaiju came into Natsu 2023 in full force, completely dominating his foes with ease at only a single loss to his name. This is Terunofuji's 8th championship and it probably won't be his last from the looks of it!
We also saw that Kiribayama, who has now adopted his stablemaster Michinoku's shikona "Kirishima", was able to get his required amount of wins to be promoted to ōzeki!! Will he restore further glory to the rank?
Time for the Natsu 2023 Meme Contest winners - and oh boy were there some great posts! To start off, the sanshō prizes will be announced. For the Fighting Spirit prize (most posts submitted) the winner is u/GoblinBags at 30 posts submitted to the meme contest by the time of the deadline! The Technique prize (most upvotes on a spoiler post) is awarded to u/ExtensionEar1901 with their post "WARNING! FEMALE VIEWERS MAY SPONTANEOUSLY OVULATE WHEN VIEWING THIS VIDEO." at 178 upvotes! If I'm not mistaken, this is a new record for the Technique prize!
Now for the overall Meme Yūshō winner! This is the big one, folks! The one who will claim the Meme Emperor's Cup is none other than...
drumroll
u/Zensho-Yusho!!! Their gilded post "Some of us can't stay up late to watch live, Natto is doing the lord's work." received an ASTOUNDING 243 upvotes! This not only sets a record for the most upvotes on a meme contest post, but also a record for most upvotes on ANY post in the entirety of SumoMemes - making it the top post in the subreddit!!! You can certainly say u/Zensho-Yusho's username is extremely befitting and has definitely earned a spot on the list of Meme Yūshō winners!
A huge congratulations to all the winners and thank you to everyone that participated. I can't wait to see what's in store for the next Meme Contest!
The next contest, Nagoya 2023, will start approximately June 25th, 2023. Look forward to it!
Join our Discord!

Meme Yūshō Winners

Natsu 2023 - Zensho-Yusho 🏆
Haru 2023 - Thatgirlfromlebanon 🏆
Hatsu 2023 - GoblinBags 🏆
Kyushu 2022 - Isoikari 🏆
Aki 2022 - Erock8779 🏆
Nagoya 2022 - Dresdenapollo 🏆👑
Natsu 2022 - Dresdenapollo 🏆
Haru 2022 - Slapyak5318008 🏆
Hatsu 2022 - Slapyak5318008 🏆👑
Kyushu 2021 - Slapyak5318008 🏆
Nagoya 2021 - Throwitaway488 🏆
Haru 2021 - Dephire 🏆

Lately I’ve been feeling like what is the point to life. I’m at this weird time in my life where I don’t know up from down. I have this urge to runaway and never look back, I’ve been feeling like this for a while now where I just want to scream, cry, laugh, and hide all at the same time.
It’s so confusing I literally can’t take it anymore. It’s like there was this small hole in my chest and it just keeps growing bigger and bigger throughout time.
I’ve lost my job, my grandma, my home and my car all in one months time. I keep telling myself it will get better but will it? I’m so fuckin tired, I’ve been through so much bullshit since I was a young girl and I still haven’t let it break me. But now me being 28 going on 29 I’m too the point where enough is enough how much longer am I suppose to fight.
At what point do you accept reality of life?I’m really starting to believe this is what my life will look like until I die. My nerves are so bad no matter how much I meditate or try to relax life just keeps beating my Ass. I’m strong and normally I can push through but this time is different the ground and cracking beneath my feet this time and I don’t know how to save myself.

I (24F) recently have been questioning if I am only into men. I've always been into men but as I get older all I see modeled in straight relationships are the strict gender roles I will not be a homemaker (or a parent to my partner) with my one and precious life. I also have a lot of trauma in relationships with men that makes me fear intimacy with them.
After watching the Queer Ultimatum on Netflix I realized I had never seen a wlw relationship so beautifully displayed in all its glory. Then I got to thinking about how I've always pictured building a life with a woman. In the past I've only thought of that as living with my best female friends all on a farm or something. Where its fun and safe and sharing all the work so nothing falls too much on one person. But now I'm starting to think that maybe those feelings were telling me something much deeper buried in myself.
I am terrified to say it out loud, expect to my therapist and one friend because I don't want to be wrong about my sexuality and feel like I was queerbating. But after my session with my therapist about it I felt so free to be me. It made me feel like I didn't need to change my body, made me want to get a tattoo, and it just made me feel free from the male gaze in a way I'd never experience. The feeling went away real fast as I visited my family and could not picture bringing a female partner home and then made me want to deny everything I had been feeling.
Honestly, I think I'm battling with a ton of internalized biphobia within myself that's not allowing me to feel how I truly am. I have so many queer, nonbinary, lesbian friends I'm really confused why it feels different now that it's me.
Any thoughts or stories on how you all processed coming out or feeling those feelings for the first time? Is it all invalid if I think I might only be attracted to masc presenting woman and nonbinary folks as opposed to all presenting people? Anything helps!

As the title says, if we have purchased a FL resident ticket and then move out of state, will we be able to return and use the ticket again?
Specifically the current "buy one day get two free" deal . We already used the first day and showed our FL ids then. But we are moving out of state this summer. We are considering coming back in September before the tickets expire to use the remaining days. I'm wondering if they will still require Id since we already provided it on the first visit. And if so, could we show a voided Id (i.e., one that the DMV punched a hole or cut).

• first one, I could not find my false lashes ANYWHERE, I went to my other room across the hall from the bathroom I usually do my makeup in looking everywhere and when I went back to the bathroom, my phone was on the opposite side of the sink, and my eyelashes were sitting where I left my phone at… (I was also home alone so it freaked me out a bit)
•second one is we had an above ground pool and me and my little sister had a torpedo we would throw and then dive to fetch, one day when I threw it, it disappeared and we couldn’t find it ANYWHERE. It literally went under the water and vanished. When we took the pool down at the end of summer it was UNDER the pool and there wasn’t a hole for it to go through to get there and there’s no way for it to get where it was at from the outside of the pool without it being emptied either. 😅

Please note that the ticket links are usually for general admission; for VIP tickets, if available, you may have to go to the band's website.
Monday, Jun 5, 2023

Rhapsody on Fire, Wind Rose, Seven Kingdoms	Conduit - Winter Park

Tuesday, Jun 6, 2023

Dying Whale, Dead Register, Moth Bite, The Path	Born Free Pub & Grill - Tampa
Heart Attack Man, Super American, Arm's Length	The Abbey - Orlando

Wednesday, Jun 7, 2023

Mike's Dead, The Haunt	Level 13 - Orlando
Within Chaos, Eyes Sewn Shut, Automatik Fit	Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville
Jameson Tank, Parks & Razz, Outer Edge Band	1904 Music Hall - Jacksonville

Thursday, Jun 8, 2023

Subhumans, UpChuck, gilt	Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville

Friday, Jun 9, 2023

Grass is Dead, The Coppertones	Underbelly - Jacksonville

Saturday, Jun 10, 2023

Halo Scars, Mind Virus, Cypher Machine, Re-Birth	Brass Mug - Tampa
Maul, Tombstoner, Plasmodulated	Conduit - Winter Park
Downswing, Falsifier, Bottomfeeders	Manna Tea & Kava Bar - Sarasota

Sunday, Jun 11, 2023

My Children My Bride, Extortionist, No Cure	Conduit - Winter Park
Bury Your Dead, Thirst, Edict	Tipsy Tiki - Fort Pierce

Monday, Jun 12, 2023

Maul, Tombstoner	Brass Mug - Tampa
Spotlights, Skyliner, The Darling Fire	Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville

Tuesday, Jun 13, 2023

Halocene, Lauren Babic, Alphamega	Hooch & Hive - Tampa

Wednesday, Jun 14, 2023

Drain, Drug Church, Magnitude, Gel	Brass Mug - Tampa
Halocene, Lauren Babic, Alphamega	Level 13 - Orlando
The Convalescence, Summoner's Circle	Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville
pulses., With Sails Ahead, I Met A Yeti	Will's Pub - Orlando

Thursday, Jun 15, 2023

Halocene, Lauren Babic, Alphamega	Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville

Friday, Jun 16, 2023

Roxx, Re-Birth, Cyber Machine, Haloscars	Conduit - Winter Park
Hollow Leg, Clamfight, Moat Cobra	Will's Pub - Orlando
Every Avenue, Makeout, Say We Can Fly	Orpheum - Tampa

Saturday, Jun 17, 2023

Crossbreed, Cultus Black, Cypher machine, Davey Partain	Orpheum - Tampa
Defy the Tyrant, Losing Daylight, Shadow the Earth	Kona Skate Park - Jacksonville
Breed, Gillian Carter, Audible Parts	Will's Pub - Orlando

Sunday, Jun 18, 2023

Crossbreed, Cultus Black, NoSelf, The Dev	Level 13 - Orlando
Bodybox, No Zodiac, High Pressure	Conduit - Winter Park
Dikembe, Camp Trash, Glazed	Will's Pub - Orlando

Wednesday, Jun 21, 2023

Dream Theater, Devin Townsend, Animals As Leaders	Ruth Eckerd Hall - Clearwater

Thursday, Jun 22, 2023

Garbage, Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, Metric	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa

Friday, Jun 23, 2023

Dream Theater, Devin Townsend, Animals As Leaders	Hard Rock Live - Orlando

Saturday, Jun 24, 2023

Misfits, Megadeth, Fear	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheater - Tampa
Intoxicated, Vacuous Depths, Ebullition	Conduit - Winter Park
black midi, YHWH Nailgun	Orpheum - Tampa

Sunday, Jun 25, 2023

No/Mas, Knoll, Shock	Conduit - Winter Park

Monday, June 26, 2023

We Are the Union, Kill Lincoln, Catbite	The Social - Orlando
No/Mas, Knoll	Orpheum - Tampa

Tuesday, Jun 27, 2023

Yungblud, The Regrettes, Caspr	Jannus - St. Petersburg

Wednesday, Jun 28, 2023

D.R.I., Metalriser	Underbelly - Jacksonville
Peter Frampton	St. Augustine Amphitheatre

Thursday, Jun 29, 2023

The Cure	Amalie Arena - Tampa
D.R.I., Metalriser	Will's Pub - Orlando

Saturday, Jul 1, 2023

D.R.I., Metalriser	Brass Mug - Tampa
Liliac, Fortune Child	The Twisted Fork - Port Charlotte

Sunday, Jul 2, 2023

Godflesh	Conduit - Winter Park

Thursday, Jul 6, 2023

Sad Summer Festival	Daily's Place Amphitheatre - Jacksonville

Friday, Jul 7, 2023

Sad Summer Festival	Coachman Park - Clearwater
Subdivisions, Violence System, The Fallen Sons	Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville
Days Of Summer festival	Conduit - Winter Park

Saturday, Jul 8, 2023

Memphis May Fire, Norma Jean, Secrets	The Beacham - Orlando
Days Of Summer festival	Conduit - Winter Park

Sunday, Jul 9, 2023

Memphis May Fire, Norma Jean, Secrets	High Dive - Gainesville
Crown The Empire, Varials	Orpheum - Tampa

Monday, Jul 10, 2023

blink-182, Turnstile	Amalie Arena - Tampa
Orthodox, Cell, Chamber	Crowbar - Tampa

Tuesday, Jul 11, 2023

Analepsy, Cognitive, Wormhole, Nectoricgorebeast	Conduit - Winter Park

Wednesday, Jul 12, 2023

Analepsy, Cognitive, Wormhole, Nectoricgorebeast	Crowbar - Tampa

Thursday, Jul 13, 2023

Staind	Seminole Hard Rock - Tampa

Friday, Jul 14, 2023

Staind	Hard Rock Live - Orlando

Saturday, Jul 15, 2023

Obituary	Brass Mug - Tampa
Flag On Fire, Scatter Shot, Backslide, Regions	O'Malley's Alley - Ocala

Monday, Jul 17, 2023

Cenotaph, Horrific Visions, Architectural Genocide	Conduit - Winter Park

Tuesday, Jul 18, 2023

Agents of Chaos, Black Clash	Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville

Friday, Jul 21, 2023

Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, Bryan Adams	Amalie Arena - Tampa
Mudvayne, Coal Chamber, Gwar, Nonpoint, Butcher Babies	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa
The Final Sound, Abbey Death, Layne Lyre	New World Music Hall - Tampa
Yosemite In Black, Endbringer, Murder Afloat	Orpheum - Tampa

Saturday, Jul 22, 2023

Yellowcard, Mayday Parade, Story of the Year	Daily's Place Amphitheatre - Jacksonville
Less Than Jake, Voodoo Glow Skulls, Devon Kay & the Solutions	House of Blues - Orlando
Rising Up Angry, Tragic, Legions Blind	Kona Skate Park - Jacksonville

Sunday, Jul 23, 2023

Yellowcard, Mayday Parade, Story of the Year	Yuengling Center - Tampa
Endbringer, Yosemite In Black, Heavy Hitter	1904 Music Hall - Jacksonville

Tuesday, Jul 25, 2023

Fall Out Boy, Bring Me The Horizon, Royal & The Serpent	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa

Thursday, Jul 27, 2023

Havok, Toxic Holocaust, I AM, Hammerhedd	Conduit - Winter Park

Friday, Jul 28, 2023

Between the Buried and Me, Rivers of Nihil, Thank you Scientist	Jannus - St. Petersburg
Round Eye, No Fraud, Caffiends	Will's Pub - Orlando

Saturday, Jul 29, 2023

Between the Buried and Me, Rivers of Nihil, Thank you Scientist	Beacham - Orlando
Southpaw, Highest Crown, Fortitude, Dead Mirrors	Born Free - Tampa

Sunday, Jul 30, 2023

Crobot, Rickshaw, Billie's Burger Patrol	Orpheum - Tampa

Thursday, Aug 3, 2023

Underoath, The Ghost Inside, We Came As Romans	Yuengling Center - Tampa

Saturday, Aug 5, 2023

Disturbed, Breaking Benjamin	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa
Underoath, The Ghost Inside, We Came As Romans	St. Augustine Amphitheatre
Sanguisugabogg, Kruelty, Vomit Forth	Conduit - Winter Park

Sunday, Aug 6, 2023

The Queers, The Radio Buzzkills, The Jasons	Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville

Wednesday, Aug 9, 2023

Pyrexia, Cerebral Incubation, Atoll	Conduit - Winter Park

Friday, Aug 11, 2023

The All-American Rejects, New Found Glory, The Starting Line	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa
Black Flag	High Dive - Gainesville

Sunday, Aug 13, 2023

Alesana, Vampires Everywhere, Limbs	Level 13 - Orlando

Wednesday, Aug 16, 2023

The Offspring, Sum 41, Simple Plan	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa
hed p.e., Lydia can't Breathe, Razorz Edge	Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville

Saturday, Aug 19, 2023

Left to Suffer, Distant, Justice for the Damned	Conduit - Winter Park

Sunday, Aug 20, 2023

The Smashing Pumpkins, Interpol, Rival Sons	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa

Tuesday, Aug 22, 2023

The Mezingers	Underbelly - Jacksonville

Wednesday, Aug 23, 2023

Bless The Fall, Caskets, Kingdom of Giants	Orpheum - Tampa

Thursday, Aug 24, 2023

Clutch, Giovanni & The Hired Guns, Mike Dillon	Jannus - St. Petersburg

Saturday, Aug 26, 2023

Rob Zombie, Alice Cooper, Ministry	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa

Wednesday, Aug 30, 2023

Ghost, Amon Amarth	Daily's Place Amphitheatre - Jacksonville

Thursday, Aug 31, 2023

Ghost, Amon Amarth	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa

Saturday, Sep 2, 2023

Baby Metal, Dethklok, Jason Richardson	Orlando Amphitheater

Sunday, Sep 3, 2023

Spitalfield, Rookie of the Year, The Future Perfect	Conduit - Winter Park

Tuesday, Sep 5, 2023

Bad Omens, ERRA, I See Stars	Jannus - St. Petersburg

Wednesday, Sep 6, 2023

Bad Omens, ERRA, I See Stars	House of Blues - Orlando

Friday, Sep 8, 2023

The Waning Moon, Palace of Tears, Rux Vendetta	Hooch & Hive - Tampa

Saturday, Sep 9, 2023

Kamelot, Battle Beast, Xandria	Hard Rock Live - Orlando

Sunday, Sep 10, 2023

Angelmaker, Vulvodynia, Flasifier	Conduit - Orlando

Tuesday, Sep 12, 2023

Black Veil Brides, VV, Dark Divine	Jannus - St. Petersburg

Wednesday, Sep 13, 2023

3 Doors Down, Candlebox	Daily's Place Amphitheatre - Jacksonville
Dance Gavin Dance, SiM, Rain City Drive	Hard Rock Live - Orlando

Friday, Sep 15, 2023

3 Doors Down, Candlebox	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa

Saturday, Sep 16, 2023

Movements, Mannequin Pussy, Softcult	The Ritz - Tampa

Sunday, Sep 17, 2023

Avenged Sevenfold, Falling in Reverse	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa
Wave to Earth, slchld	Orpheum - Tampa

Tuesday, Sep 19, 2023

Scowl, Militarie Gun, MSPAINT	Conduit - Winter Park

Thursday, Sep 21, 2023

Scowl, Militarie Gun, MSPAINT	1904 Music Hall - Jacksonville

Friday, Sep 22, 2023

Cavalera Conspiracy, Exhumed, Incite	Beacham - Orlando

Saturday, Sep 24, 2023

Boys Like Girls, State Champs, Four Year Strong	House Of Blues - Orlando

Sunday, Sep 25, 2023

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus	High Dive - Gainesville

Friday, Sep 29, 2023

CIRCLE JERKS, TSOL, Negative Approach	Underbelly - Jacksonville
Shinedown, Papa Roach, Spiritbox	MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa

Saturday, Sep 30, 2023

NOFX	Vinoy Park - St. Petersburg
Flogging Molly, The Bronx	House Of Blues - Orlando

Thursday, Oct 5-7, 2023

Absolution Fest	Crowbar - Tampa

Tuesday, Oct 10, 2023

Ne Obliviscaris, Beyond Creation, Persefone	Orpheum - Tampa

Wednesday, Oct 11, 2023

Ne Obliviscaris, Beyond Creation, Persefone	Conduit - Winter Park
Fit For a King, The Devil Wears Prada, Counterparts, Landmvrks	The Ritz - Tampa

Thursday, Oct 12, 2023

Dawn of Ouroboros, Fires in the Distance, Somnent	Conduit - Winter Park

Saturday, Oct 14, 2023

Beast in Black, Dance with the Dead	Orpheum - Tampa
Fame on Fire, Kingdom Collapse	The Social - Orlando

Sunday, Oct 15, 2023

Beast in Black, Dance with the Dead	Conduit - Winter Park
Motionless In White, Knocked Loose, After the Burial, Alpha Wolf	Hard Rock Live - Orlando

Tuesday, Oct 17, 2023

Atilla, Gideon, Until I Wake, Ten56	Underbelly - Jacksonville

Wednesday, Oct 18, 2023

Atilla, Gideon, Until I Wake, Ten56	Orpheum - Tampa

Friday, Oct 27-29, 2023

The Fest	Gainesville

Tuesday, Nov 7, 2023

Protest the Hero, Moontooth	The Abbey - Orlando

Wednesday, Nov 8, 2023

Protest the Hero, Moontooth	Orpheum - Tampa

Friday, Jan 24, 2024

Kansas	Florida Theatre - Jacksonville

I am not the Original Poster. That is u/ThrowRABunkerMan. He posted in AmItheAsshole
Mood Spoiler: Hopeful
Original Post: May 22, 2023
My grandfather was an incredibly talented man who also suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, and he was convinced that the nuclear apocalypse was going to end the human race at some point, so he built his own bunker and then buried the entrance because he was convinced that both the KGB and the CIA were watching him and wanted to keep the bunker a secret. Yes, he was a crazy man. My dad inherited his house but never lived there, so when I had my first child in 2018 and got married in 2019, my dad made me an incredibly generous offer for the house. I bought computers that were more expensive than the house.
The bunker became kind of an urban legend, mostly because my old grandpa used to tell a lot of crazy stories, but out of curiosity I went looking for it and found the entrance. THE OLD MAN REALLY DID IT!
So, thanks to being stuck at home during the uneventful 2020 and 2021, I started remodeling the bunker to look less like a Fallout Vault and more like my own man cave. Everyone loves it, especially the kids (My nephews and friend's children). So the house is decorated to my wife's taste, while I can do whatever I want in the bunker, play gaming, fix computers, set up a whole home server, work from home, etc.
However, lately she has been complaining about me being distant and spending a lot of time there and less time with her and our child. She is pregnant again, so she said she was worried, but I just promised to spend more time at the house. After a few weeks that wasn't enough for her and she accuses me of abandoning her.
I'm asking for judgment here because I'm trying to be there for my family, but this bunker feels like it's the only thing that's really mine and where I can actually have a break, but my wife has said she's going to seal the entrance otherwise I might miss the birth and not even notice. Should I just move all my stuff into the house and forget about it? Am I really being neglectful, or is this just her pregnancy hormones talking?
To be clear, I do help with the house chores and spend time with my son when I'm there and I have an intercom in the bunker so my wife can just call me if she needs anything and I'll go up there immediately.
ETA: Everybody is asking me this. I spends at least 6 hours at the Bunker on week days. I work there so I think is reasonable, and at least 4 hours on weekends. But yeah, ur right, I need to make arrangements.
I forgot to mention: Our son goes to kindergarten so my wife has time to work and sometimes be alone at home.
ETA 2: Guys, I swear I'm taking notes. I'm just trying to understand what I should change about myself and how to talk to my wife about this. Remember that I spend at least 6 hours WORKING, not scratching my belly. My manager allows me to log out early if I finished my work for the day but can't log out if I've been working for less than 6 hours. I also spend time talking with my team on Slack.
ETA 3: So many of you are picking up on my language. I would appreciate if you explain calmly why my choice of words is so bad so I dont fuck things up when I speak to my wife.
Mini-Update: I had a talk with my wife. Overall I think it went well since she told me everything, but there are so many raw emotions right now and I was sent to sleep in the spare room. She had no mercy on me but we needed this talk so we can have a clear path for our future together.
Relevant Comments:
More about the bunker:
"The entrance is like 900 feet away from the house. There was also a tunnel connecting it to a hidden place on the basement but it collapsed I don't know how many years ago, so we sealed it."
"Yes, the city inspected it and is ok. I didn't bother with the tunnel because it seems to be badly built and there was a risk that could keep collapsing if we tried to fix it. We also had to add more columns and reinforcements to make sure it won't collapse. I was recommended to have yearly inspections."
Clarify- you say you work AND game? Are you doing those at the same time?
"No bro, when I mean working, I mean having a fight with my IDE until shit works, and when I mean networking, I mean talking to my team on Slack. Speaking to your team is as important as doing the work itself. Also can be spent reading doc. Then after finishing, I can game for like an hour before going up."
"Yeah, I see how bad it sounds. Year sometimes can be 2 hours, but hear me out. I usually don't play online games, but single player games with a linear story and clear objectives. So is easy to do the "Till next check point" (Tho modern games can be saved at whatever point) and log out.Yeah I think I should stop doing this or do it inside the house."
Where did you work before you had the bunker?
"Before getting married I just went to the office everyday but had my main computer in the bedroom. When we first moved into this house, I got a room to place my computers. During this time yes, had more contact with my family but it was harder to make it feel like an "office"."
OOP is resoundingly voted YTA
UPDATE (Same Post): Most likely May 23 (next day, based on comments and web archive)
I talked to my wife. I asked her to be very honest and I promised to let her talk until she was done. First of all, it's not just about the time I spend in the bunker now, but she felt completely alone taking care of our little baby while I spent almost all of my free time remodeling and building and when it's done I'm just down there. I explained to her that it was basically my office now, she understood and apologized and then continued to explain herself. I'll just quote the gist of it because we talked for hours.
"I haven't been my own person since my first pregnancy, I feel like a doll, every day is the same, I'm bored, frustrated, angry, just when I thought it might get easier, I get pregnant again, how many years until I can just be me again".
"You have a big hole underground where you can play and not care about the word, I haven't read a book in years, I can't read 2 pages without falling asleep"
"Yes, the house looks nice, but what about a place for me? I don't want a Kindle, I don't want audiobooks to listen to while cooking or driving, I want a PHYSICAL collection, where do I put them? When was the last time I went to a library? When was the last time you gave me something made of real paper?"
(For context, she's always been a bookworm, loves books and the aesthetic of having shelves full of them, but it's true she hasn't read in a long time, I gave her a Kindle for our anniversary and I pay for her audible subscription, I thought those would be good substitutes, but they're not)
"Stop thinking that a screen can solve everything, I need you with me, I married a human, not a sim, download some emotions.
"I want to write again, but how? When? Will you read my first crappy drafts or just take a look and say it's okay?"
"Can you have our son in the bunker for a few hours a day? He's bored here, he won't be bored down there."
It was hard, but I needed it, and she needed it.
I'm going to move my gaming consoles into the house and see if I can set up SteamLink to stream games from my gaming PC to our TV or something. We agreed to go on dates outside the house, and I'm going to take on more responsibilities around the house.
I want to address something. I was told by my parents that I had to "help" with the house, "help" with the kids. But then I come to Reddit and it turns out that "helping" is a problem.
You talked a lot about mental load, this was the first time I heard about it, who was supposed to teach me that? "Helping", not having addictions, being loyal and always being there seemed like what every good husband does, now I realize it was just the bare minimum. I feel like I have to relearn everything, and it's hard to realize that I'm a bad husband and father for thinking that the bare minimum was all I needed to have a long and happy marriage. I became a reddit villain by being clueless, but I accept that.
I'll see you again soon, thank you all.
Update Post: May 29, 2023 (1 week from OG post)
Hey guys, I hope you remember me. I'm the bunker guy. Not much has happened in terms of big events, but things are getting better.
After the talk I had with my wife, I started taking more responsibility around the house. I've been taking on as much as I can so she can rest. Except I'm a terrible cook, so I have some frozen and instant food that I just heat up and call it done, but I've been taking our son to school and picking him up, spending more time with him in the Bunker (he loves it), I've been gaming in the living room because I moved my consoles there and successfully set up Steam Link. So overall, my wife is sleeping more and has a few hours to just do nothing. She is much calmer now. She said she loved being able to just chill on the couch and not have to worry about anything. This pregnancy has been rough on her emotions so I'm glad to see her like this.
She also spent some time with me in the bunker, doing her own work, sleeping, or just hanging out. She even got The Sims and started playing again. The first thing she did was build an almost exact replica of our house. We also did a lot of cuddling down there and even had sex. I have to admit, I'm loving every second of this new dynamic, even though there are still a few things that need to be changed and tweaked.
I offered to build a room for her in the bunker, but she says it gets a little claustrophobic after a few hours and she likes sunlight, so that was declined. Then I suggested building a shed for her. She said nothing, but after a few hours showed me a shed she built on The Sims, a hexagonal brick structure with a U-shaped couch in the middle, a door, and bookshelves on every wall, connected to the main house by a fenced-in path. I think it looks nice, so I will send it this week to the same people who helped me rebuild this bunker so they can convert it to CAD.
Nothing is perfect yet, I have a lot to learn and haven't started couples counseling yet (that will be in about 2 weeks) but I am trying my best, I have been an idiot for way too long and have a lot to make up for. Thank you all again.

Hey so this is not a normal build I live on a river so i have a lot of large drift wood. I am going to build an archway, mounted to my house, and a freestanding privacy wall. The privacy wall is the larger ordeal. Maybe 10 ft.
Would you set the driftwood trunk into cement? Or pour concrete, set a piece of rebar, and put the column onto the rebar via drill hole in the bottom.
The archway is smaller and relatively easier. Going to build the sides on the ground. Soak a few pieces and bend them. Mount a piece to the wall and screw into that. I was thinking of the concrete, with rebar secure and into the base of the branches.
Had anyone worked with driftwood?
If it's set the column in concrete, I'd paint a sealer on the bottom where it's in the concrete. I'd also use a deck sealer on the wood itself.
Just throwing this out there!

I just hopped on a 10x server with 2 of my buddies that don't have many hours in the game just so I could show them the ropes. We ended up getting a pretty decent little start going and I even got to show them cargo but right after we get back from cargo and get all the loot put away we go out for a roam and there's a guy on our roof doorcamping. Doesn't say a single word to us when we try and talk and just scurries away like a little rat. Again this is a 10x... Of course we go out naked and he's there again. Doesn't say a single word and does the same shit. My friend's internet ends up bugging out while he was in the air lock and accidentally opened the door and let them in... I just don't understand why do that on a 10x with less than 200 people on it. It just makes no sense and it's always the reason I end up quitting this game over and over. I'm literally just trying to show my buddy the ropes and they sweat their asses off to go deep on us. It's just so toxic and pointless to do since you are literally baby fed fucking loot on the server and serves no purpose other than to piss the people off and get them to get offline so your neighborhood can be even more lonely and sad. I know I'm probably gonna get a lot of hate and everyone's just gonna call me trash but fr the community needs to get it together because it is impossible to enjoy such a fun game when the community turns it into a toxic shit hole.

I fished out my blueberry bagel from the toaster today. As I was putting cream cheese on it, I realized something very peculiar. The cream cheese looked too full on the bagel. I thought for a second. Then I realized that the bagel had no holes: that’s what was so wrong about it. I flipped both sides over. There was a semblance of a hole punched into both sides, it just didn’t create a hole. So I created a hole with my knife and continued with the cream cheese. The bagel tasted nice!

For the last 2-3 years ive been getting intrusive thoughts with sexual and harm themes for the most part. So me having OCD is very plausible. What has me second guessing is that I dont think I have compulsions along with the thoughts. Usually I let my mind blank out which im pretty sure is dissociation but thats a whole other issue. Unless the dissociation is a compulsion in this case? I also distract myself by scrolling through tiktok, watching youtube, or reading. Ive recently been tapping my leg to different rhythms and shit that ive been learning on guitar to distract myself or just counting the beats in my head which is always in groups of 4. So that might be a new compulsion or its just me distracting myself.
I do compulsivly squeeze bumps on my arms, legs, chest/back, and face which ive done since I was 10. This also extends to plucking ingrown hairs (or any hair on my legs and face) and picking my nails. I usually cant pull myself away from picking despite telling myself "hey‼️ Stop‼️Youre gonna regret this after‼️" and then negotiating with myself "just one more" but of course that turns into a bunch more. But my intrusive thoughts dont trigger this tho. I may sometimes do it after im unsure.
Here is where the paranoia comes in. I have a fear that I have repressed memories of me being sexually assaulted. My brain has latched on to my dad being the culprit which logically i know is so out of character and not something he would do. I truly dont think ive actually been assaulted but the fear still stays.This definitely makes the sexual intrusive thoughts about my dad worse. I also have a a paranoia of hidden camreas.
What will happen is my intrusive thoughts will trigger these paranoias.For example: I was in the bathroom and noticed the heat lamp light bulb was black and shapped different. My brain was like "oop, hidden camrea? Nahhh not logical. But it could be. Why would it be? What if dad installed it to spy on me in the bathroom? Nope. That is not what this is. Could be but NOPE. but what if. No."
Another example is I grabbed the peanut butter and it looked like someone took a spoon and made a hole in the middle but my brain goes "what if dad stuck his dick in it." And he was in the kitchen with me so i also got the thought "what if hes waiting to watch me eat it not thinking i know." I ignored these thoughts and ate the peanut butter anyway but was so uncomfortable the whole time and had to jeep reassuring myself that these thoughts arent rational.
I can usually settle on my thoughts being irrational, but theres this whole other seprate reality in my head full of all the what ifs and past paranoias and why they all add up and how this all supports my dad sexualizing me and possibly assaulting me. Basically a whole other reality where ive rationalized all these paranoid thoughts to be true. But i dont enter that reality fully bc im very aware how irrational and unlikely it is. But whenever a new paranoid thought occurs it strengths that second reality.
Please ask any questions bc i feel like i butchered explaining all this😭

photos - https://imgur.com/a/ilyQAlf
PRICES INCLUDING G&S FEE
Blue Exorcist Volumes 1-4 selling as a set ONLY - each volume is $7.24 so $28.96 in total
Barakamon volume 1 is $8.80
A School Frozen in Time volume 1 is $7.76
Legal Drug volume 1 is $4.65
*if you buy Blue Exorcist I can throw in Legal Drug for free, just ask :)
SHIPPING PRICES
Blue Exorcist - $5
Barakamon, A School Frozen in Time, Legal Drug - $3
CONDITION
Blue Exorcist has no weatear aside from very minimal yellowing at the top.
Barakamon is in good condition, very little shelf wear (check pictures) and slight yellowing.
A School Frozen in Time is in near-perfect condition, never read, and looks practically new.
Legal Drug shows wear and tear on the spine, corners, and some yellowing but it has no extreme damage
open to bundling and I'm firm on prices/will be picky with offers <3

https://i.imgur.com/3R2KgqV.jpg
Let’s start with the floor plan; I sketched a few furniture pieces on there just as a fit check. I’m moving into a new place and moving out of a familial living situation where I’m taking furniture with me but have… significant holes in my set. I have three incredible couches (see here: https://imgur.com/a/kKXxGRj/ ) the dark leather one is going on the office space where you’ll also see I marked off space for my desk and (white) 4x4 kallax full of books. The lighter leather ones are a three and 2 seat pair; I’m also taking that gorgeous marble end table between them and - not pictured because it’s in storage, a big 5 ft triangular coffee table made of the same stone.
Here’s a few photos of the space itself, https://imgur.com/a/tKk2vJA/ - the first two are of the living room, as seen from both directions, which should give you an idea of how the goofy pillaarch impedes things and kind of darkens the room. Can’t repaint, but could probably get in there to do peel and stick wallpaper or something before the move if it would make a dramatic difference.
Things I need help with:
I need a rug that will tie that living room together with the horrible landlord beige wall paint. I also need a few other rugs for other rooms. I have no idea how to pick rugs.
Living room also needs a good TV cabinet/sideboard of some sort, but i think I have a pretty good eye for my taste for that stuff and if I can figure out the rest of the room, I figure I’ll know what I want for that.
I need a dining room table and chairs. More importantly, I need help figuring out where to best put said dining table and chairs, and then what to do with the rest of the mostly open foyeend of the living room space that I have kind of opened up there. I think I probably want to set up a little bar station/coffee station outside of the kitchen at a minimum, because the kitchen is tiny and lacks power outlets for my coffee stuff.
I need more storage in the bedroom because it doesn’t have a closet. Is a wardrobe the right call here? If so, are the various IKEA closet units any good? I like the organization/modularity options on a lot of them, but haven’t really shopped that piece elsewhere.
I’m also curious if my bedroom can be rearranged from that current setup to something more functional when adding a closet of some sort. The placement on my sketch is p arbitrary.
I don’t move into this new space for a few weeks, so nothing is down yet and I have time to get this plan right.
My own furniture tastes tend vaguely towards MCM, but not exclusively so. I like natural wood tones and matte color palettes. In terms of art that will be hanging, I have a smattering of inherited Japanese woodblock stuff, some colorful cartoony paintings done by a relative, and probably need a few more pieces. I’m largely starting over here though so I am interested in letting my other choices set the decor tone to some extent.
Help me.

“I just had an idea pop into my head about something to do this coming weekend, and I wanted to bounce it off you two before it slips my mind” My friend Natasha said those words as the three of us sat on my couch one afternoon. I found myself sitting up slightly. Normally, Natasha was the last of our group to suggest things to do, letting Vinny, the third member of our group, or I come up with the plans to keep our free time occupied. The fact she was about to suggest something intrigued me. “What have you got in mind?” I asked her. A smile played over her face as her brown eyes seemed to flash. “How about a little ghost hunting?”
I felt Vinny sit straight up beside me. She had clearly grabbed both our attention now. The three of us were what you might call amateur ghost hunters, using very basic items we bought offline to visit some of the spookier places in the area and posting our adventures on YouTube, sort of like a crappier version of Ghost Adventures. “Now that’s one hell of a good idea” Vinny said, before a puzzled expression spread over his face. “But, I mean, where? We’ve already done most of the places around town. The Tioga building won’t let us in after that…well, what that one resident claims we stirred up in the old ballroom, and I’m not about to make the hours long drive to the Wolf Creek Inn” Natasha’s smile grew wider. “No, we don’t have to even go out of town for this one” she said, her voice dropping low, “What I’m suggesting, is we check out…” her voice trailed off, letting the suspense grow for a few seconds before finishing, “The Egyptian Theatre”
Instantly, Vinny let out a harsh bark of laughter. “HA! Now that’s a good one. You know damn good and well that the society that runs the theater won’t allow us in after hours to ghost hunt. As far as I know, they’ve never allowed any paranormal teams into the place” He pulled a face. “So, how exactly do you propose we get in there? You flutter your eyelashes for the night janitor and use your feminine charms to get us in?” Natasha still grinned, but rolled her eyes at our friend’s quip. “No, actually, I was thinking about using my lock picking skills to get us in” she declared. It was my turn to give her an incredulous look. “You’re joking, right?” I asked. She shook her head. “Nope, I’m dead serious” I let out an incredulous, almost baffled snort of laughter and pulled my glasses off my face, rubbing my eyes.
The country, and, to a large extent, the entire world, became gripped in an interest, sometimes bordering on obsession with all things Egyptian when King Tut’s tomb was discovered over a century ago. Many things came out of this, including the classic 1932 monster movie The Mummy. But, one thing that also came of this fever gripping the country was a desire to build many Egyptian style buildings. And one of the buildings which took this design and ran with it, were the movie theatres. A decade after the legendary discovery, over a hundred theatres had gone up all around the country, their interiors clad with fake temple columns, paintings of sphinxes and Egyptian gods such as Anubis decorating the walls, and hieroglyphs adorning the archways. People flocked in droves to them, both to watch movies, and live performances. But, like all trends, eventually, the interest began to wane, and as the late 20th Century approached, many began to shut down and be either remodeled, or straight up demolished. Today, there’s only between five and eight Egyptian style theatres left in the entire country.
And one just so happens to be right in the town I live in.
When I moved to Coos Bay, Oregon nine years ago, I immediately fell in love with the place. Even though it’s the largest coastal town on the Oregon coast, it’s a place which is more or less perpetually frozen in time, still looking pretty much as it did between thirty and seventy years ago. And, as someone who is not exactly into the modern world, it made a perfect place for me to live and escape away from the 21st Century. I began exploring right away, driving every street of it and the town neighboring it, North Bend, along with walking every alley and back road I could to learn the layout. That’s how I learned about the supernatural element to the town.
There are many places in town which people claim supernatural occurrences take place. From the remains of the old logging buildings on the estuary, to the old Tioga Hotel which has been remodeled into apartments, there is no shortage of ghostly tales. There was even the old McCauley Hospital, which had once been the focal point of the town’s annual ghost walks until it was demolished in 2018. As a side note, I heard a rumor that a couple people broke into that place right before it got torn down. Something sure spooked them, because a friend of mine on the police force told me they gave him a fright, bursting in the night before Easter and rambling about something. I always wondered what they saw in there.
But, for me, the place in town I always loved the most, and enjoyed the most hearing about the ghostly accounts told, was the Egyptian Theatre.
Originally built as a garage in 1922, it was renovated by a man named Charles Noble into a movie theatre in 1925, where it drew in droves of people from around the area to watch films, and enjoy live vaudeville performances. It continued to operate almost to the end of the 20th Century, when other theatres began to attract younger moviegoers, and for a while, it almost seemed as though the historic building might even be closed for good and gutted. But, thanks to the efforts of local preservation societies, it was saved, and now operates as a theatre once again. They mostly play only older movies, along with live performances.
And, of course, it draws curious people for the paranormal rumors surrounding it.
For years, people have reported strange occurrences happening inside the building, both when it’s open, and after hours. Patrons and employees alike have spoken about a pervasive feeling of being watched inside the building, but finding no one there when the place was searched. There have been reports of being touched by invisible hands, a few even pushed slightly. Beyond physical interaction, employees have reported the sounds of old film projectors playing and unseen audiences laughing after hours, along with the eerie playing of the theatre’s Wurlitzer pipe organ, along with a host of other occurrences. No ghost hunting team has ever gone in to try and document these events. And to Natasha, that was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Legal, or not.
“Are you freaking nuts?!” Vinny exclaimed, “Do you have any idea how much trouble we’d be in if we got caught breaking and entering? The cops around here are already a bit twitchy with the druggies and the homeless. You wanna give them a reason to throw us into jail alongside them?” Natasha held up a finger, flipping her black hair over her shoulder. “They won’t find out, because I have not one, but two aces in the hole here. The first is that thanks to being friends with Scott, I know the nighttime police sweeps, where they’re going to be and everything. There’ll be an hour long window where they’re not anywhere near the alley where the back door to the theatre is. We can get in and out with no threat of being spotted at all. And the second is, did you forget I’m dating Dylan now?” The realization washed over me like a wave; she had started dating the man who helped the preservation society run the theatre a month or so ago. Damn, she’s been planning this one for a while, I thought.
Vinny had a thoughtful look on his face, his green eyes darting around rapidly, but not seeing. “Hmm” he muttered, then looked at Natasha. “And you’re sure that there’s no chance of us getting caught?” he asked slowly. “Absolutely none” she said, then looked at both of us. “So, how about it?” For a few moments, there was silence, and then Vinny let out a chuckle. “What the hell, why not? The most exciting thing we’ve done the last few weeks is go down to the farmer’s market. This could shake things up a bit” I suddenly became aware that the two of them were looking at me, waiting for me to make my decision. I was always the most sensible of the three of us, doing all I could to keep us out of trouble with others as well as the law. But, I always had one nasty Achilles Heel ever since I had been a child, and that was peer pressure. So, despite the overwhelming feeling that I should tell them no, that I should say we should just find something else to do, I nodded. “Alright, let’s do it” I said simply, causing grins to break out on both of my friend’s faces.
I wish to God in retrospect that I’d just had the damn spine to stand up and say “No”
The rest of the week seemed to pass by faster than usual. Before I knew it, the weekend had arrived. We’d decided that late Saturday night would be the best time to do this, as most places downtown closed up between eleven and midnight, aside from the bars and strip club. To say I felt anxious about breaking the law, something I wasn’t used to doing at all, would be like calling a Megalodon a goldfish, but my worries about disappointing my friends ended up outweighing it. And so, at eleven-thirty, the three of us piled into my beat up Chevy Tahoe, and made our way towards downtown. As I drove us down Ocean Boulevard, which connected the two sides of town, something settled over me. I can’t exactly place it, even to this day. But it was the most uneasy feeling I’ve ever experienced. But I did my best to push it away. It’s nothing, Troy. It’s just because you’re, understandably, worried about this. Plus, the road being deserted isn’t helping much.
My mental chiding seemed to help center me a bit, which was a good thing. The road was now angling downward, and a moment later, we drove into downtown. The darkened shapes of the closed stores seemed to rise up higher on either side of us than they looked during the daytime. We’d decided to cruise by the front entrance first, just to see if anyone were still inside. As I turned the truck onto the main drag, the sign for the theatre rose high above us, a depiction of an Egyptian pharaoh next to the yellow and white letters which proclaimed its name to everyone who drove through town. I spared a glance as we passed it. The lit up marquee windows showed that The Blues Brothers and Jaws would be shown soon. For whatever reason, though, I couldn’t bring myself to look through the glass doors that showed the building’s darkened interior. The uneasy feeling had returned, and, for a moment, it felt as though if I did look, I would see someone, or something staring back out at me. And then we passed it, taking the next right and looping back around to Anderson Ave.
I turned the truck into the narrow alley drive which ran along the back of the theatre and neighboring buildings. Parking right next to the rear doors would be extremely conspicuous, so I pulled up a bit further and parked in a carport like area. Shutting off the engine, I turned to my two friends. “Well, this is it” I said, “Last chance to turn back if anyone’s having second thoughts” I’d hoped that either Vinny or Natasha would’ve gotten cold feet in the last few minutes, allowing us to go do something else. But there was no such luck. “Are you kidding me?” Natasha said from the passenger seat, “We are far too close to back out now!” Vinny grunted from behind me. Well, shit. Resigning myself to the fact they were determined to go through with this, I let a deep breath out through my nose and nodded. The others opened their doors and hopped out. A moment later, I followed.
The night air was cool and crisp on my skin as we slowly walked back down the alley to the rear of the yellow-ish, tan building. Three different sets of red double doors were built into the back of the theatre. Natasha pulled something out of her coat pocket, and I realized, with a small pang of surprise, that it was a lock pick set. A legitimate lock pick set. “Where the hell did you get that?” I whispered to her. She shrugged and smiled. “I have my ways of getting things” she said simply, then pointed to the far right set of doors. “We’ll have a bit of cover from that electrical box. You two keep an eye out while I deal with the lock” And with that, she scurried forward, bending down in front of the door handles. Vinny and I stood guard, each of us looking down both ends of the alley. As the soft sound of Natasha messing with the lock filtered over to me, I realized just how quiet it was. And how eerie hearing downtown so quiet was. Aside from a few distant booms and bangs, and the far off sound of a dog barking, all I could hear was the whistle of the wind as it whipped between the old buildings.
An involuntary shiver cascaded up my spine, and I tried again to reason myself back to a relative sense of calm. “Get a grip, dude, you’re gonna be fine” I whispered under my breath. But this time, it felt as though I weren’t able to entirely convince myself. I suddenly became aware of a creeping sensation, one which made me shoot a look around. Nothing moved in the stillness, no indication of anyone besides us being in the alley. And, yet…I was overcome with the distinct feeling of being watched. Not by either of my friends. But…by someone else. Before I had a chance to even think about it, I heard a rather loud click, and Natasha let out a soft laugh of triumph. “We’re in, ladies and gentleman!” she declared, standing up and pulling on the door. It opened silently, the streetlight in the alley casting a small shaft of light into the darkness beyond. Turning, she waved an arm at Vinny and I. “Come on, let’s get inside”
Before either of us could say anything, she turned and disappeared into the dark. I shot a look at Vinny, who simply shrugged. “After you, my man” he whispered. I let out a deep sigh, and then moved to the door. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the small flashlight, and then pulled on the heavy metal, slipping inside, Vinny right behind me. The darkness swallowed us as the door closed. For a moment, a small rush of panic from not being able to see flashed through me, before a light appeared beside me. It wasn’t from a flashlight, though; instead, a small, orange flame flickered beside me. “Don’t turn on your flashlights yet, just follow me” Natasha said, the flame making her face seem to dance and move behind it. She turned and headed away, leaving us no choice but to follow. I listened to her and didn’t turn on my flashlight. But every fiber of my being was screaming at me to. Because the feeling of being watched out in the alleyway? Had quintupled in here. The best way to describe it, was that we were angrily being stared at. And I didn’t like the sensation one bit.
Natasha led us up a flight of steps and pushed open another door. “We’re here” she said, still keeping her voice low, “You can turn on your flashlights now” Thank you, God, I silently said, snapping mine on and casting a bright white light into the room we’d entered. A moment later, so did my two friends’ lights. The beams played around, and I heard Vinny let out a bit of a gasp. “Ho-lyyyy shit” he muttered.
Natasha had guided us into the main theatre. The ceiling rose high above our heads, almost out of sight of even the flashlights. Rows upon rows of red movie seats stretched out and away from us, seeming almost unending in the shadows. The walls were all covered in hieroglyphs, all still original from the 1920s. To our left, the second story, which housed a smaller row of seats, along with the projection room rose about twenty feet above us. And to the right, was the stage itself. It was flanked by two huge columns, the screen rolled up and revealing a mosaic of an Egyptian building on the back wall, with two men clutching staffs sitting on either side. Directly in front of the stage sat the organ, its seating bench tucked beneath it.
“Okay, this is a trip to be in at night!” Natasha exclaimed excitedly, then pulled the backpack she’d been wearing off her shoulders. Dropping it into a seat, she unzipped it and began pulling items from it. “Guys, here” she said, holding them out. Vinny stepped forward and grabbed the camcorder from her; as someone who’d had a lifelong dream of being a filmmaker, he was our resident cameraman. I stepped forward and took two items from her: an infrared thermometer and an EVP recorder. The rest, she placed on the ground, and then faced Vinny. “Alright, tell me when you’re recording” He fumbled with the camcorder for a second, then shot her a thumbs up. Instantly, she took on a somber, eerie expression, giving an admittedly creepy look at the camera. “Well, well, welcome back to The Three Ghostkuteers, everyone. I hope you all have been well since our last trip. Tonight, you join us in a very, very special place, and one close to home for us. We are currently in the Egyptian Theatre in Coos Bay, Oregon, one of the last remaining in the country. It was built in the 1920s by a man named Charles Noble-“
I turned away, tuning her out as I did. The woman really, really enjoys being in front of the camera. Better her than me. Shining my light around, I looked up at the balcony. I could see the small hole in the projection booth where the movie projector would shine out onto the screen. Something caught the beam’s light, reflecting off it slightly, and I aimed the light at the wall. It was a wrought iron light fixture, one which had been shaped into the figure of a King Cobra, poised to strike. Gazing around, I saw they adorned much of the walls. I let out a small shudder at it. God, do I hate snakes. Thankfully, though, the feeling of being watched I’d had in the alley and the darkened back of the theatre had seemingly disappeared. Yeah, see, what’d I tell you, Troy? Nothing but your nerves.
Natasha had finished her opening monologue and moved to the edge of the stage, on which she placed the small, square spirit box. “And now, let’s see if anyone would like to speak with us” she said, flicking it on. Instantly, the silence of the theatre was shattered by the sound of static, intermittently interrupted by quick snippets of radio shows being picked up. “Is there anyone here who’d like to talk to us?” she called out into the huge room. The static and snippets were the only sound to answer her. After a minute, she tried again. “Are there any spirits who’d like to communicate with us?” There was still nothing. Vinny panned the camera from the box to Natasha as she paced back and forth for a few minutes. A small look of disappointment flooded over her face, but she instantly plastered it over with the same look she’d given the camera before. “Well, it looks like the spirit box isn’t gonna work tonight, so we’re gonna have to try something else” She pulled out an EVP recorder identical to mine and switched it on. “Let’s try this instead, shall we? Remember, by the way guys, if you’re new here and want to see more, to like and subscribe-“
I turned away again, feeling a small pang of irritation flow through me. This is freakin’ ridiculous, man. The longer we stay in here, the more chance we have of getting caught. Truth be told, as much as I enjoyed ghost hunting, I didn’t even really believe in the paranormal. In all the years the three of us had filmed together, not once had we caught anything, on tape or otherwise. In fact, many times we’d had to fake spooky occurrences in order to make sure our videos got any views at all. This is your own fault, man, I silently chided myself, you’re the one who couldn’t stand up to them and say no. You really, seriously need to grown a spine and learn how to say no. The mental self lecture was furthering my rotten mood, and I began to feel a wave of anger at my two friends, as well as myself boil up.
“Hell with this” I finally muttered, then turned and began walking up the aisle. “Troy, where the hell are you going?” I heard Natasha call out behind me. I stopped, not looking over my shoulder, but quietly aiming my voice behind me and allowing a hint of irritation to seep into it. “I’m gonna go check out the second floor balcony, okay? I don’t exactly like just standing here” For a moment, there was silence, and then her voice came, soft and almost apologetic. “Okay, go ahead” Before she could say anything more, I strode away, walking to the open doorway which led out of the theater and into the concession area. I hooded my flashlight beam with one hand to make sure it wouldn’t accidentally shine out of the glass entrance doors into the street and looked around. The lobby and concession stand took up most of the front area, the darkened shape of it stretching along the far wall.
Taking a few steps ahead, I turned and looked up at the wall above me. Large, blue letters stretched out from one side of it to the other. Through these doors pass the most wonderful people. I snorted softly. “Yeah, unfortunately, not tonight” I shook my head, then looked around. And nearly jumped out of my skin. Something also seemed to jump back. I felt my heartbeat begin to race in my chest and my breath quickened. “Shit…” I let out weakly, then slowly moved forward. After a few steps, I suddenly realized what I’d seen and let out a soft laugh of relief.
“Your own damn reflection, you fucking pussy” Shaking my head, I turned away from the glass wall and headed for the stairs to the second floor. At the base of them, I stopped and shone my flashlight up. “Ooh, boy” I said quietly. Sitting next to the stairway like a sentry, was a huge, golden statue of a pharaoh. It towered over me, and I estimated that, were it be standing straight up, it’d easily be between eight and ten feet tall. It stared straight ahead at the wall ahead of it, and I couldn’t help but let out a small shiver as I stared at it. It just seemed so damn eerie in the dark, and I quickly moved past it, heading up the stairs and stepping out onto the second story balcony.
I shone my light around. Red seats again surrounded me, though this time far fewer. Ahead of me, I could see the balcony’s edge and the hulking shape of the main stage beyond. I could also see the beams of my friends’ flashlights playing over it, and hear both of their voices speaking softly. Deciding while I was up here to at least check out the projection booth, I strode over to the door and tried to turn the handle. It was locked. Feeling my irritation bubble over into exasperation, I jiggled the handle in some stupid attempt to open it. But the door stayed shut. I turned away and rubbed my eyes, again hearing the voices of my friends softly filtering up to me from down below.
“Hey, if there really are any ghosts, or spooks, or specters, or whatever in here? If you’re actually real, could you appear to us, please?” I whispered to no one, “That way my friends can get what they want and I can go home” I received only silence in reply. I hadn’t really expected anything, anyways. You know what? Screw this, I’m going back down there and telling them I’m going home, with or without them. This is beyond stupid, I just broke the law for what? For nothing! For something dumb as hell. And with that, I turned to walk away. But I hadn’t even taken a single step when something crashed into me like a wave. The breath was driven from my lungs as I felt a massive chill shoot through me, as though I’d been doused with ice water. “What the fuck?!” I hissed through gritted teeth, then froze, my eyes going wide. The feeling of being watched had returned with a vengeance, and it had seemingly been ramped up in its intensity. I shot a look around, but saw nobody.
Still, the feeling remained, and with each passing second, it almost seemed to grow stronger. Chill after chill rolled up my spine, and even though I didn’t really believe, something deep inside me told me that it was time to get out. Okay, time to leave, I said in my head, and headed quickly for the stairs. As I reached the head, I turned to look back one final time. That’s when I saw something. It disappeared when I aimed my flashlight at it, but I swear a second earlier it had been the outline of a person, standing in the shadows and watching me. The split second sight catapulted me into motion, and I hurried down the steps, shining my light every which way but loose. Believer or not, I knew something wanted us out. I’d planned on jumping off the second to last stair and running for the main theatre floor. But as I reached the bottom, I froze.
For a moment, I couldn’t place why. And then, the realization fell over me like a tsunami. I let out an involuntary gasp, and fear like I’d never felt before surged through me. I didn’t want to turn around and look. I wanted to pretend I hadn’t seen it. I desperately wanted to. But, like a dumbass character in a horror movie, I couldn’t help it. I needed to look. I slowly turned, aiming my flashlight back up. And I couldn’t help but let out a strangled scream, falling backwards over my own feet as I began to backpedal rapidly.
The statue of the pharaoh still sat where it had. It still towered over me, looking as imposing and eerie as ever. But it’s carved and painted eyes were no longer staring straight ahead at the wall. Instead, they had somehow moved. And when I’d turned, I’d come to find they were staring directly at me.
I scrambled to my feet, snatching the flashlight from the floor where I’d dropped it and aiming it at the statue again. It stared straight out at nothing again. But I knew what I’d seen. It hadn’t been a trick of my mind, or the light. The freaking thing’s eyes had moved to watch me as I passed down by it. I began to stammer out as I backed away from it. “Okay, that’s it, no no no no, we’re done here, fuck this shit, I’m officially a believer, we’re leaving, right now” I kept backing towards the doorway to the theatre, never taking my eyes off the statue. I was terrified I’d seen it suddenly stand up and turn to lumber after me like Boris Karloff or something.
The blaring sound of the theatre’s organ slashed through the silence, causing me to let out another strangled scream and jump almost a foot off the ground. I whipped around, thinking I would see my moronic friends tinkering with the instrument. Instead, I froze again. The theatre was no longer dark. Both of my friends had seemingly vanished from the room, as I could no longer see them. The movie screen had somehow been pulled down, and above me, I heard the whir of the movie projector playing. An old, black and white movie, one which had no sound, played on the screen, occasionally changing to show dialogue being displayed in white letters.
It was also no longer empty.
The entire theatre was packed. I saw people sitting at almost every single seat in the huge room. I could only see the backs of their heads as they watched the movie playing. At the edge of the stage, what looked like a man now sat at the organ, playing it in time with the film. A slapstick moment came across the screen, and the audience began laughing. In any other situation, it would’ve been a comforting sound. But at that moment, it was the most spine chilling sound I’d ever heard. Especially as another wave of realization crashed into me. From the little I could see, everyone in the theatre looked to be dressed in long passed fashions.
That’s when the voice, low and quiet, came from behind me. “Good evening, sir” it said. It sounded like a man’s voice, one rather low and deep pitched, but something about it paralyzed me on the spot. The voice continued, putting on an air of pleasant politeness. “We’re so glad you could make it, it’s been so long since we’ve had new patrons arrive at a showing. If I could just see your ticket, please?”
For a moment, I couldn’t speak. Then, I managed to squeak out two words. “Uh, ticket?” The tone of the voice seemed to change somewhat. “Yes, your ticket. That’s the only way you could’ve gotten in. Please, let me verify it and show you to your seat” Ohhh, shit. Whoever, or whatever the voice belonged to, thought I had shown up like a regular moviegoer. The voice’s tone became less polite. “You do have a ticket, right, sir?” I was beyond terrified to answer, but I was more terrified to remain silent. For a moment, I considered lying. But I feared what might happen if I did. So I told the truth.
“I….uh, I, uh….I don’t have a ticket, sir” I stammered out, my voice barely above a whisper. Instantly, all sound stopped in the room like someone had flipped a switch. “You…don’t have a ticket?” the voice said, all pretense of manners vanishing from it, “Then how did you get in here for the late night showing?” Oh, god. I forced myself to speak, still unable to say anything except the truth. “My…my friends and I….broke in…through the back door…to…ghost hunt…” There was silence for a few moments, and then a heavy hand dropped onto my shoulder. My head swiveled to look at it. Oh, fuck me sideways. It wasn’t a regular hand. It was a fucking claw. One with black skin, tipped with what looked like razor sharp nails. It sat there for a moment, then tightened; almost painfully so, making me let out a small whimper of pain.
That’s when I looked up. Everyone in the theatre had turned to look at me. My initial thought had been correct; they all wore clothing from almost a century ago, and not the stuff cosplayers wear, either. They also had very angry expressions on their faces, as if they’d just noticed the intruder among their midst. The voice finally came again, almost directly behind me. Its tone lowered, almost sounding guttural and animal, making my legs almost melt into jelly from the fear. “Then, might I make a suggestion to you and your trespassing little friends?” My breath came in rapid, ragged gasps, and I barely managed to force out the one word. “Yes?”
“LEAVE”
At the single word reply, which now more closely resembled a growl than a word, I did something I will forever wish I hadn’t. I finally turned and looked up at who was addressing me. The only way I can describe what happened is, my mind shattered. The next thing I remember, I was crashing into the back doors of the theatre into the night.
And I was screaming.
That was a month or so ago. When I’d stumbled back into the alley, I’d turned and, in what I can only call blind fear and panic, bolted for my truck. I hadn’t even heard my friends chasing after me. Not until Vinny caught up to me as I scrambled with my keys, grabbing me from behind and turning me to face him. He said the look I’d had on my face scared him and Natasha more than anything ever had before. I’d been pale as a sheet, my eyes wider than they ever thought a human’s could be. I'd been babbling softly. I’d been saying the words “They want us to leave” over and over. They didn’t ask me what had happened. They just pushed me into the backseat of my truck and drove away from there. It was clear, as I found out later on, that both of them hadn’t seen anything. As far as they were concerned before seeing me dash to the rear doors, it was just an empty theatre. Neither one of them ever asked me what I saw that night. And for that, I’m thankful. Because I could never utter from my lips what I did see.
But I’ve had nightmares since then. Horrible ones. Ones that’ve been so bad, I had to let out what happened to me, deciding to just post it here, regardless of whether people believe me or not.
Nightmares about being back in that theatre after hours. About seeing that pharaoh statue’s eyes flick in its painted sockets to look at me. About seeing all those people, people long since dead, sitting and watching the films they did when they were alive. About seeing that hand fall on my shoulder, hearing that voice, telling me not to come back until I have a ticket.
And about turning to see who the hand and voice belonged to.
The Egyptian Theatre will be celebrating its centennial this year. People are planning to show up in 1920s cars, dressed in period clothing. They’re even going to show an old, silent film as part of the festivities. But I won’t be attending it. I won’t ever go anywhere near it again. The one time I tried, a week or so ago, I started trembling with fear. And the mental image played over and over in my head.
The image of turning to see that horrible canine head attached to the human-like body, red, glowing eyes glaring down at me as it’s sharp teeth glinted in the light.
I pray to god I never will end up with a ticket to one of its late night showings.
But I can't help but fear that, like those packed into the theatre, sooner or later, we all will.