Costco hot dog carbs no bun
Sneks With Jorbs
2018.03.28 03:34 cowkong Sneks With Jorbs
We believe it's about time people start appreciating the hard working snakes out there. No matter the occupation, vocation, or sensation of the creature, we want to see snakes out in the world doing their thing.
2023.05.30 00:11 WildWestCollectibles How to cook a delicious meal that you can have for breakfast lunch and dinner for only $1.44
Shakshuka! This recipe serves 4 with less than $6 worth of ingredients, healthy, and best of all it doesn’t taste like cardboard, it’s SO good and full of flavor! I have this multiple times a week and can’t get enough.
YouTube recipe to follow along
Ingredients (with SoCal prices from Costco and Walmart as of 5/29/2023)
Olive oil ($0.40)
1 yellow onion ($0.85)
1 green bell pepper ($0.72)
1 serrano pepper ($0.15)
Paprika (<$0.05)
Cumin (<$0.05)
Minced Garlic ($0.10)
1 - 28oz can of whole peeled tomatoes ($1.43)
Salt (<$0.05)
4 eggs ($0.66)
Black Pepper (<$0.05)
Cilantro ($0.50)
Feta cheese ($0.40)
Toasted bread ($0.36 can be any carb of your choice)
Total cost for 4 servings: $5.77 ($1.44 per serving!)
Cooking instructions:
1) chop the onions, bell pepper, and hot pepper and sauté with paprika and cumin in olive oil for around 5 minutes in medium-high heat.
2) once sautéed, add some garlic and after about 2 minutes, add the whole can of tomatoes. You can crush them while they cook with a wooden spoon. Keep stirring and taste it to add salt and seasoning to taste.
3) after around 10-15 minutes, check to see if you can move the sauce and see the bottom of the pan without it being too watery. Once ready, drop heat to low
4) create four pockets in the sauce where you will carefully crack the 4 eggs. Add salt and pepper on the eggs and cover with a lid for 5-7 minutes
5) once egg whites are cooked and yolk is still runny, add feta cheese, cilantro and it’s ready to eat! If it’s too spicy, you can drizzle a bit of honey.
I hope you guys like it! Please reach out if you have any questions.
submitted by WildWestCollectibles to povertyfinance [link] [comments]
YouTube recipe to follow along
Ingredients (with SoCal prices from Costco and Walmart as of 5/29/2023)
Olive oil ($0.40)
1 yellow onion ($0.85)
1 green bell pepper ($0.72)
1 serrano pepper ($0.15)
Paprika (<$0.05)
Cumin (<$0.05)
Minced Garlic ($0.10)
1 - 28oz can of whole peeled tomatoes ($1.43)
Salt (<$0.05)
4 eggs ($0.66)
Black Pepper (<$0.05)
Cilantro ($0.50)
Feta cheese ($0.40)
Toasted bread ($0.36 can be any carb of your choice)
Total cost for 4 servings: $5.77 ($1.44 per serving!)
Cooking instructions:
1) chop the onions, bell pepper, and hot pepper and sauté with paprika and cumin in olive oil for around 5 minutes in medium-high heat.
2) once sautéed, add some garlic and after about 2 minutes, add the whole can of tomatoes. You can crush them while they cook with a wooden spoon. Keep stirring and taste it to add salt and seasoning to taste.
3) after around 10-15 minutes, check to see if you can move the sauce and see the bottom of the pan without it being too watery. Once ready, drop heat to low
4) create four pockets in the sauce where you will carefully crack the 4 eggs. Add salt and pepper on the eggs and cover with a lid for 5-7 minutes
5) once egg whites are cooked and yolk is still runny, add feta cheese, cilantro and it’s ready to eat! If it’s too spicy, you can drizzle a bit of honey.
I hope you guys like it! Please reach out if you have any questions.
2023.05.30 00:07 bookwyrm713 The quintave in Alethi music theory
I may be an amateur musician, but I am a professional nerd.* As such, I was inspired by u/OctavianMacLean's post to finally write up my music theory questions from Rhythm of War. If only Navani's chapters had gone on longer about musicology! Alas, this is essentially all we know about the pitches used in music on Roshar, from chapter 69:
a) an interval with frequency ratio 3:2, at which the scale repeats;
b) a 5-note [i.e. pentatonic] scale; or
c) something else?
As the reader may know, 'quintave' isn't really a normal English word, even in the world of music theory. It's presumably intended to be analogous to the English word 'octave'. In English, 'octave' refers to a 2:1 interval (i.e. the frequency of one tone is exactly twice the frequency of the other), regardless of how many notes a given scale divides that interval into. The interval is called an octave\*** because the higher pitch is the 8th note of most scales used in so-called western music. If we want to interpret quintave as the strictest possible parallel to the word octave, then we can guess that definition A is correct--i.e. that quintave means the interval (possibly but not necessarily spanning 5 notes) at which scales repeat, rather than an interval within a scale.
However, not a lot of music traditions have scales that repeat at the 3:2 interval. In fact, the only real-world music tradition which I've seen described with the word 'quintave' is some traditions within Georgian folk music. A lot of Georgian folk music is characterized by a narrow melodic range and three-part polyphony. As best I understand it, the basic 'scale' has 5 notes evenly divided within 3:2 interval and repeating on the top note (the fifth). Instead of being organized around the octave, the interval between the tonic (the 1st note of the scale) and the 8th note is a little bit bigger than a 2:1 ratio (musicologists call this a 'wide octave'). It sounds super cool and I love Georgian folk music, so I want this to be what Brandon intends for Alethi music to sound like...however. It's hard for me to see how this counts as a ten-note scale, because two quintaves stacked on top of each other gets you nine different notes. That said, I don't really understand half the stuff I've read about Georgian polyphony, so maybe there's a totally valid way of interpreting a quintave scale as having ten notes.
Pentatonic scales that repeat at the octave--unlike pentatonic scales that repeat at the fifth--are incredibly common around the world. If we go by what's more common in earth music, then Navani is more likely using using 'quintave' to refer to a pentatonic octave scale, definition B. If that's what she means, however, then Brandon is--as I understand it--taking some liberties with the English language by describing the Alethi scale with the word quintave. Maybe he thinks it's stupid to refer to the 2:1 interval as an 'octave' if it only has five notes, and so he (or rather, a theoretical Alethi music theorist) has renamed that interval the 'quintave'.
Or maybe Alethi music is polyphonic, and 'quintave' is the Alethi way of expressing the importance of parallel fifths in compositions. There are certainly polyphonic music traditions which rely heavily on parallel fifths are a standard way of harmonizing: the medieval organum, some Appalachian folk music, Icelandic tvísöngur, and apparently some Hungarian folk music as well. Probably some of those traditions also involve pentatonic scales, but I'm too tired of writing this post to confirm that. Are you tired of reading this post?
I hope not, because there's one more possibility, which is that Navani really does mean that the Alethi scale is decatonic, rather than pentatonic. As stated above, we almost always use 'scale' to refer to a pattern of notes that repeats at the octave/2:1 interval (again, regardless of whether the octave actually spans 8 notes). If we look at Navani's description of the Thaylen music system, which sounds like an exact analogue to the Pythagorean 12-tone scale across the octave,**** we might assume that Navani similarly assumes a scale always spans exactly one octave, with none of this fudging about polyphony. There are a few ways of organizing a 12-tone division of the octave into a ten-note scale, though I've yet to find one that I actually enjoy listening to. Mathematically speaking, useful decatonic scales are found by first dividing the octave into 12 or 22 or perhaps 20 (etc) even steps and then determining which 10 notes make up the scale you are going to use for your composition. The idea that an entire culture's music would be composed around a decatonic scale seems incredibly unrealistic--and horrifying--because the maths are comparatively not that intuitive. In the real world, decatonic scales don't exist in a vacuum; they exist because Some People have gotten bored with the vast numbers of pentatonic and heptatonic and enneatonic scales that already exist. Also because Some People are really into maths. However, it is possible that the Alethi are so unbelievably dedicated to the number 10 that they really do only (or mostly) play music based on a decatonic scale.
As someone who prefers more normal music and pleasantly obvious mathematics, I can't begin to guess which decatonic scales could be described as being composed of 'two quintaves'. I have no idea what quintave might mean in the context of decatonic music.
Anyway, if you made it this far and you have an opinion on what 'quintave' means in RoW, or you want to tell me what a cretin I am for not appreciating Messiaen, I'd love to hear it.
*aka, a PhD student.
**The tuning forks Navani uses in RoW makes it seem like this 'ancient system' is based on three pitches, which is an even more restricted system than three intervals. I can't think of a song that uses just three notes, apart from 'Hot Cross Buns'. Idk, maybe the 'ancient' musicians of Roshar--and is Navani referring to the Dawnsingers?--just sang 'Hot Cross Buns' with increasingly insane polyrhythms.
***Well, sometimes. The ancient Greeks called the 2:1 interval the diapason, meaning 'across the whole [scale]', which is a much more accurate name if your scale doesn't actually have 8 notes. Bring back the word diapason!
****Which I learned this afternoon has the same tones as the Chinese shí-èr-lǜ gamut...the more you know. That 12-tone octave really is a nice system, mathematically speaking.
*****This post is now over, like my excuses for not working on my dissertation. This footnote is therefore fake, kind of like the excuse that I didn't have time to finish drafting my introduction this evening because I was too busy trying to come up with a good pun about tritones and Odium's interval.
submitted by bookwyrm713 to Stormlight_Archive [link] [comments]
The Alethi traditionally used a ten-note scale—though it was more accurately two five-note quintaves. This was right and orderly, and the greatest and most famous compositions were all in this scale.Based on this description, I have some questions, a couple of suggestions...starting with, does Navani use quintave to mean:
The Thaylens, for example, preferred a twelve-note scale. A strange number, but the twelve steps were mathematically pleasing.
Anciently, people had used a three-note scale,** and a few of the compositions remained. The tone that drew Stormlight was the first of the three notes from this ancient scale. With some effort—it had required sending Fused to Kholinar through the Oathgate to raid the royal music conservatory—she’d obtained tuning forks for the other two notes in this scale. To her delight, Voidlight responded to the third of the three notes.
a) an interval with frequency ratio 3:2, at which the scale repeats;
b) a 5-note [i.e. pentatonic] scale; or
c) something else?
As the reader may know, 'quintave' isn't really a normal English word, even in the world of music theory. It's presumably intended to be analogous to the English word 'octave'. In English, 'octave' refers to a 2:1 interval (i.e. the frequency of one tone is exactly twice the frequency of the other), regardless of how many notes a given scale divides that interval into. The interval is called an octave\*** because the higher pitch is the 8th note of most scales used in so-called western music. If we want to interpret quintave as the strictest possible parallel to the word octave, then we can guess that definition A is correct--i.e. that quintave means the interval (possibly but not necessarily spanning 5 notes) at which scales repeat, rather than an interval within a scale.
However, not a lot of music traditions have scales that repeat at the 3:2 interval. In fact, the only real-world music tradition which I've seen described with the word 'quintave' is some traditions within Georgian folk music. A lot of Georgian folk music is characterized by a narrow melodic range and three-part polyphony. As best I understand it, the basic 'scale' has 5 notes evenly divided within 3:2 interval and repeating on the top note (the fifth). Instead of being organized around the octave, the interval between the tonic (the 1st note of the scale) and the 8th note is a little bit bigger than a 2:1 ratio (musicologists call this a 'wide octave'). It sounds super cool and I love Georgian folk music, so I want this to be what Brandon intends for Alethi music to sound like...however. It's hard for me to see how this counts as a ten-note scale, because two quintaves stacked on top of each other gets you nine different notes. That said, I don't really understand half the stuff I've read about Georgian polyphony, so maybe there's a totally valid way of interpreting a quintave scale as having ten notes.
Pentatonic scales that repeat at the octave--unlike pentatonic scales that repeat at the fifth--are incredibly common around the world. If we go by what's more common in earth music, then Navani is more likely using using 'quintave' to refer to a pentatonic octave scale, definition B. If that's what she means, however, then Brandon is--as I understand it--taking some liberties with the English language by describing the Alethi scale with the word quintave. Maybe he thinks it's stupid to refer to the 2:1 interval as an 'octave' if it only has five notes, and so he (or rather, a theoretical Alethi music theorist) has renamed that interval the 'quintave'.
Or maybe Alethi music is polyphonic, and 'quintave' is the Alethi way of expressing the importance of parallel fifths in compositions. There are certainly polyphonic music traditions which rely heavily on parallel fifths are a standard way of harmonizing: the medieval organum, some Appalachian folk music, Icelandic tvísöngur, and apparently some Hungarian folk music as well. Probably some of those traditions also involve pentatonic scales, but I'm too tired of writing this post to confirm that. Are you tired of reading this post?
I hope not, because there's one more possibility, which is that Navani really does mean that the Alethi scale is decatonic, rather than pentatonic. As stated above, we almost always use 'scale' to refer to a pattern of notes that repeats at the octave/2:1 interval (again, regardless of whether the octave actually spans 8 notes). If we look at Navani's description of the Thaylen music system, which sounds like an exact analogue to the Pythagorean 12-tone scale across the octave,**** we might assume that Navani similarly assumes a scale always spans exactly one octave, with none of this fudging about polyphony. There are a few ways of organizing a 12-tone division of the octave into a ten-note scale, though I've yet to find one that I actually enjoy listening to. Mathematically speaking, useful decatonic scales are found by first dividing the octave into 12 or 22 or perhaps 20 (etc) even steps and then determining which 10 notes make up the scale you are going to use for your composition. The idea that an entire culture's music would be composed around a decatonic scale seems incredibly unrealistic--and horrifying--because the maths are comparatively not that intuitive. In the real world, decatonic scales don't exist in a vacuum; they exist because Some People have gotten bored with the vast numbers of pentatonic and heptatonic and enneatonic scales that already exist. Also because Some People are really into maths. However, it is possible that the Alethi are so unbelievably dedicated to the number 10 that they really do only (or mostly) play music based on a decatonic scale.
As someone who prefers more normal music and pleasantly obvious mathematics, I can't begin to guess which decatonic scales could be described as being composed of 'two quintaves'. I have no idea what quintave might mean in the context of decatonic music.
Anyway, if you made it this far and you have an opinion on what 'quintave' means in RoW, or you want to tell me what a cretin I am for not appreciating Messiaen, I'd love to hear it.
*aka, a PhD student.
**The tuning forks Navani uses in RoW makes it seem like this 'ancient system' is based on three pitches, which is an even more restricted system than three intervals. I can't think of a song that uses just three notes, apart from 'Hot Cross Buns'. Idk, maybe the 'ancient' musicians of Roshar--and is Navani referring to the Dawnsingers?--just sang 'Hot Cross Buns' with increasingly insane polyrhythms.
***Well, sometimes. The ancient Greeks called the 2:1 interval the diapason, meaning 'across the whole [scale]', which is a much more accurate name if your scale doesn't actually have 8 notes. Bring back the word diapason!
****Which I learned this afternoon has the same tones as the Chinese shí-èr-lǜ gamut...the more you know. That 12-tone octave really is a nice system, mathematically speaking.
*****This post is now over, like my excuses for not working on my dissertation. This footnote is therefore fake, kind of like the excuse that I didn't have time to finish drafting my introduction this evening because I was too busy trying to come up with a good pun about tritones and Odium's interval.
2023.05.29 23:54 throwaway164837 Lab/Heeler mix is driving me insane and I'm about to give up
I feel like I'm going crazy. I have a one year old black lab/blue heeler mix that was an unexpected surprise from an ex. I learned fairly quickly that these are extremely high energy dogs who require a lot of exercise and mental stimulation.
Over the past few months, I've slowly transitioned to walking him in the mornings and evenings (about an hour each time due to my schedule, longer on days off) and playtime on breaks from work (fetch, tug of war, treat puzzles, hide and seek, commands and tricks) due to the hot weather. He can be laying on the floor, refusing to budge anymore and then 20 minutes later it's like he hasn't played all day. None of it feels like it works anymore. I'm at my wits end because he's now actively destroying parts of my home out of boredom. So far he's gouged my hardwood floors through digging at some non-existent thing, chewed the trim on several doorways and is starting to chew holes in my linoleum floor.
I know he's bored and has pent up energy as he only does it when I'm working and can't pay full attention to him or when we miss the walks because of stormy weather, which I try to make up for with more mental stimulation. I even rotate toys and occasionally buy him a new one when he's worn out the old ones. He is kennel trained but I don't feel right leaving him locked up for so long while I work, generally 2-3 hours between breaks. He's been checked out by the vet and is perfectly healthy.
I cannot afford a doggy daycare and I have no friends that have dogs that he can interact with while I work. I'm out of ideas on what to do, I'm losing my mind and I'm about to break down and cry. What else is there to even do at this point? Everything I read online just says I'm not doing enough, I'm not trying hard enough and it's all my fault and I cannot stand it anymore. Every single article is copy and pasted from the one before it. How can it be my fault when just about every free moment I have is taking care of him? What am I missing?
Oh and let's add in that he's now starting to guard his food and treats from the cat that just happens to walk by on their way to another room, who's never so much as looked twice at his food because how dare they walk nearby. It's never been a problem before but sure, let's add to the humans stress levels 😭
submitted by throwaway164837 to dogs [link] [comments]
Over the past few months, I've slowly transitioned to walking him in the mornings and evenings (about an hour each time due to my schedule, longer on days off) and playtime on breaks from work (fetch, tug of war, treat puzzles, hide and seek, commands and tricks) due to the hot weather. He can be laying on the floor, refusing to budge anymore and then 20 minutes later it's like he hasn't played all day. None of it feels like it works anymore. I'm at my wits end because he's now actively destroying parts of my home out of boredom. So far he's gouged my hardwood floors through digging at some non-existent thing, chewed the trim on several doorways and is starting to chew holes in my linoleum floor.
I know he's bored and has pent up energy as he only does it when I'm working and can't pay full attention to him or when we miss the walks because of stormy weather, which I try to make up for with more mental stimulation. I even rotate toys and occasionally buy him a new one when he's worn out the old ones. He is kennel trained but I don't feel right leaving him locked up for so long while I work, generally 2-3 hours between breaks. He's been checked out by the vet and is perfectly healthy.
I cannot afford a doggy daycare and I have no friends that have dogs that he can interact with while I work. I'm out of ideas on what to do, I'm losing my mind and I'm about to break down and cry. What else is there to even do at this point? Everything I read online just says I'm not doing enough, I'm not trying hard enough and it's all my fault and I cannot stand it anymore. Every single article is copy and pasted from the one before it. How can it be my fault when just about every free moment I have is taking care of him? What am I missing?
Oh and let's add in that he's now starting to guard his food and treats from the cat that just happens to walk by on their way to another room, who's never so much as looked twice at his food because how dare they walk nearby. It's never been a problem before but sure, let's add to the humans stress levels 😭
2023.05.29 23:54 Formal_Pea9167 I Watch Paige's Week At Home Blog So You Don't Have To, I'm Serious The Vlog Is Like An Hour Long Don't Do This To Yourself
A day late but we're here, my little cheeto eaters! Remember as always to grab your bingo cards and let's get our little long weekend slumber party going. This whole fucking thing is FORTY MINUTES LONG, you're all lucky that my sibling who was supposed to spend the day chilling at my place has apparently forgotten that plan.
submitted by Formal_Pea9167 to PLSnark [link] [comments]
- There's a new opening style than all her other vlogs. Not sure if that's because of Morgan but also I don't care enough to go hunt down exactly which influencer she cribbed this style from. It features a lot of horse butts. Also her using her phone in bed, which I thought she didn't do because she's mindful.
- The music she uses is this song, which is DEFINITELY not copyright-free, so have fun learning how actual copyright law works, Paige! The lyrics playing over the are "there are times when/it feels right to/run away, run away/when you ask the same old questions/every day, every day/Why do I set the stage?/Why do I find my place on the pedestal?", because I guess Paige went to the Love is Blind school of "make sure the lyrics of whatever song you use are really, REALLY literal"
- Giveaway winners! Congrats to the three people who won a pile of Paige's old garbage! Don't worry though, if you didn't win her trash, she'll be doing a lot more of these because she "appreciates [us] guys so much" and "wants us to experience some of the things that I'm so grateful to get".
- Nothing says grateful like giving away your extras to strangers and instead of doing anything to promote them like you were supposed to in return for getting them for free, using the existence of this stuff as a way to leverage yourself up on the algorithm.
- There's also Dairy Boy in the giveaways, of course, because no one's buying it organically.
- Nothing says grateful like giving away your extras to strangers and instead of doing anything to promote them like you were supposed to in return for getting them for free, using the existence of this stuff as a way to leverage yourself up on the algorithm.
- She explains moving Louie, it's the same stuff she said on Instagram. Weirdly horses are like the only animal I've never gotten super obsessed with, so I have no idea how BS this is, but it's almost word-for-word her IG explanation, so it's the same level of BS that was. She does word this though as it being a "charity project" and "passion project" she "donated to", because there was a dearth I guess of places to keep your horse in the rich people part of Connecticut.
- She has to first run to get a grazing muzzle so Louie doesn't overeat in the pasture. This sets off my internal bad animal treatment alarms in a huge way, but again, don't know enough about horses to know if this is warranted.
- Just kidding! Don't let Paige into a Tractor Supply unsupervised, she's too much of a ~country girl~ to not come out with "so much shit". She also got this beef jerky that looked "so good". It's Iowa Smokehouse beef jerky.
- It apparently looked good because all she had for breakfast was coffee. Why she only had coffee I'm not sure, since it's not like she didn't have the time to get something better. Coffee and beef jerky for breakfast sure is a choice, and one I'm sure her intestines didn't make her pay for later. This summer is all about ~hot girl indigestion~.
- Story time! This looks like "legit, real beef jerky", which Paige knows because when Paige was in boarding school she stayed with a family who had a lot of cows and they made their own beef jerky, which Paige was of course intimately involved in, I'm sure. Anyway this makes her have such high standards, which is why she loves when somewhere like Tractor Supply (an enormous fucking chain, Paige) or a "local country mart" sells jerky because it's always better.
- Fun fact that took me less than thirty seconds to Google, this "real" beef jerky is also available on Amazon
- More of the same definitely not copyrighted song as she packs up Louie's stuff and moves him. There's a lot of woman laughing alone with salad shots as she packs up and pretends to talk to... someone and "carry stuff" (ie: stand around touching her own body awkwardly)
- Some weird things about this whole sequence - 1) the "farm" she moves Louie to appears to have very poor, dilapidated fencing, red flag for me. 2) Paige is wearing a white shirt and then a white cardigan the entire time while DEALING WITH A HORSE and it never gets stained or dirty, which tells me she did fuck all, 3) the only guy with her is this big bald much older man who I assume is the guy starting this venture, meaning he's almost certainly who films her cantering around on Louie without her wearing a helmet laughing, which is so unbearably awkward. Like imagine asking a random older dude to film you doing that in a pure white sweater, 4) when Paige brushes Louie he sheds SO MUCH. Is that bad? It feels bad. When a dog sheds that much, even in the spring, it usually means no one's been brushing it regularly, 5) Louie has such a dip in his back and it makes me wince every time, especially when Paige shows him next to another horse. I don't know what that's from, but I hate it and it doesn't look comfortable for him.
- Nance and Baloo are at home when Paige gets back so she's just going to "throw on a little outfit" and they're going to go out for Mother's Day in Brooklyn. Paige really, really didn't want to go into the city because I guess she's suuuuch a country girl (nice, Paige) but she's doing it for her mom and to see her sister
- Oh my god she DOESN'T CHANGE HER SHIRT FROM THE BARN, she wears a white henley, what look like blue pajama pants, and a leather coat.
- Nance steals some of Paige's clothes (how I don't know since they're totally different sizes) and according to Paige is"slaying the boots", a phrase I will pay actual cash money to never hear Paige say again
- Next morning, return of the out of focus camera, though it may have been by accident this time because it stays out of focus. Anyway serious business Paige with her serious business glasses is starting the day with some "desk work". Is that a thing? A phrase? What the fuck is "desk work"? Has anyone who actually does work at a desk ever called it that?
- When she's in Europe it's definitely harder for her to sit and do computer work even though she has a laptop but starting the day on her desktop at the same time as her "whole team" (WHO) it really makes a difference for them being all on the same page.
- Okay so my actual job in real life is doing shipping and order management for a small creative goods company. I know very intimately what goes into product development, order fulfillment, etc, and Paige is just straight up saying nonsense. Like I paused and gave serious thought to what possibly she could be talking about, and I don't know what all this "work" is. If she was making everything in-house that's one thing, but that's not work she could possibly be doing or overseeing from Europe. But if she's outsourcing stuff, having it sent to a warehouse, and, then paying someone to ship it out for her, I guess she's doing... development? But that makes no sense because again, she outsources everything. She isn't doing wholesale, there isn't a lot to arrange for pop-ups if everything is outsourced and pre-made and she's only supposedly having one this summer, she only has eight products so the website maintenance is pretty easy, as is accounting, and she only really sells stuff around a drop which she does maybe twice a year.......... like genuinely I'm baffled here. It's my job to do this exact same thing every day with products that aren't jeans or sweatshirts or whatever and I'm so, confused about what her "work" is.
- Allegedly they're on the "final push" for so many big projects and you know what, if any of these projects involve Paige actually doing anything besides feeling three different samples of denim swatches or deciding which vendor she's going to outsource oven mitts to and saying "I like this" or "I don't like that", I will issue her an apology. I feel safe in the idea that I won't have to issue her an apology, but I will keep on on offer in the off-chance I'm wrong.
- She just finished making a line sheet (genuine lol once I looked up what that was) and apparently we are going to freeeeak out when we see her new merch - sorry, elevated lifstyle products.
- It's denim. She's been working on denim. She shows us the final washes but it's in direct sunlight so it's all blown out and out of focus so they look mostly white? But she got the "perfect color". IDK, it's a light wash. I prefer dark wash, actually. It's a lot more flattering and forgiving. But we've already determined my aesthetic and Paige's aesthetic are not the same aesthetic. She's nobly pushed back production six months because she refused to do a full run unless the wash was absolutely perfect. It was so expensive but she needed to love love love the denim, because it's really what she's passionate about and what she wants to do, she wants to be the best denim brand out there. You know, because she's hand-making this denim herself, not just sending instructions to low-wage Chinese workers while being afforded the privilege to fuss over the perceived quality for six months because she has parents who are willing to flush money down the toilet on this. Also, for the record, but denim is like... a choice? Like what is the vision, exactly, because every clothing retailer has some version of denim and people are already super married to their faves, so how exactly is this business model working for her, here. And it doesn't look like stretch denim either, which means it's going to fit a very, very narrow group of body types. Like speaking from ample experience crying in GAP dressing rooms over my "freakish" (read, not built like a popsicle stick) as a teenager in a time before jeggings, jeans are not forgiving and easily worn by everyone. The thing about what Paige is doing so far is that it's universal enough. You don't have to really tailor an oversized sweatshirt or trucker hat to fit you. Everyone can make room for another overpriced candle. But denim??? IDK girl, you do you.
- When she's in Europe it's definitely harder for her to sit and do computer work even though she has a laptop but starting the day on her desktop at the same time as her "whole team" (WHO) it really makes a difference for them being all on the same page.
- Paige makes Olivia a latte. Olivia comes in and say it's story time about coffee. Paige asks if she should turn off the camera for this and Olivia says no so Paige continues to film herself preening while Olivia tells her a story about how messy she is frothing milk. Paige spends the entire time interrupting her to go "no! No! No! No!"
- They look at buttons and rivets and embossed leather patches for the back, and then sweatpants leg panel samples. Baloo hangs out with them and Paige tells him he's stinky. She eats toast.
- WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANY OF THIS. She's not DESIGNING anything, she's just doing that thing like, you know when you're choosing your racer in Mario Kart and there are a couple hundred variations of wheels and chassis and you just choose the unique combos you want to put together? She's doing that but with generic clothing. I've been jokingly referring to her stuff as "elevated Zazzle" but this isn't even Zazzle because Zazzle you UPLOAD ACTUAL ARTWORK TO. Why is she re-inventing the wheel? What improvements does she think she's making TO A PROVERBIAL WHEEL.
- They look at buttons and rivets and embossed leather patches for the back, and then sweatpants leg panel samples. Baloo hangs out with them and Paige tells him he's stinky. She eats toast.
- Not sponsored showing off gifting time! It's not in focus at all so we can't really see any of the products (professional!). One of the products she mentions is that she's friends with CYNTHIA ROWLEY'S DAUGHTER who has nepo baby'd her way into dropping oven mitts and aprons that look like Strawberry Shortcake's rejects. Like they're cute, but they're again little strawberries on white. Like tell me none of you silver spoon-ass bitches cook without telling me by making WHITE OVEN MITTS. Those will turn yellowish and burnt after, what a single batch of brownies? Taking a piece of toast out?
- This haul includes her tennis Tommy bag. Not sure how she got it since she brags about it being "sold out everywhere even Poshmark and depop"
- There is sooooooo much of this free bullshit. How does she even get this much free bullshit. Why do companies waste so much money sending this to people like Paige who don't fucking care and openly give it away. What is the point of an influencer. IDK at this point I'm spiraling, this vlog is like a third of the way through and nothing has happened.
- Paige unpacks with Nance. She has so many clothes and I don't think she's worn any of them. Full disclosure that this was the point I actually got annoyed and had to take a break and play some video games for fifteen minutes because while growing up comfortably or on the upper end of middle class in a generational wealth type of town has taught me a lot of patience for people with too much money, there is at some point a limit to how conspicuous over-consumption and waste I can handle, and that point for me came when I saw how many sweaters Paige has that look like they've never been worn. And the on top of this she has a giant suitcase of stuff she's going to depop! The environment? Never heard of her.
- Paige is going to get groceries. She's needed Nance's help to do all the hard stuff she's had to do today like going grocery shopping and having soooo many clothes. She goes to Trader Joe's, then goes to a horse shop and of course buys MORE SHIT SHE DOESN'T NEED. I'm not condoning what the French did when they invented the guillotine, like that was really violent and horrible, but the point is that the longer I watch this vlog the more I'm understanding their motivations.
- Paige goes on a sunset ride with her friend Lauren, this song plays in the background as a flagrant copyright violation, I realize at this point that there's no way this video is going to stay up without Youtube copyright striking it so I have to be extra detailed for posterity and we still have so much to go and this is going to take forever. Louie's back still looks horrible and as someone with inherited lordosis, I feel for him.
- Tommy facetime! He says exactly one sentence and catches a tiny fish, for those of you keeping track on your Bingo cards.
- Nance is still over Paige's house when Paige gets back because she never leaves. Paige is wearing old Dairy Boy sweats. At this point when I scrolled down to press the play button again I realized that Nance has posted a comment about how proud she is of Paige within seconds of the video being uploaded. I live with my mother and sometimes I still need her help on stuff like yelling at health insurance until they cover stuff for me and even I am confused by how codependent their relationship is. Like doesn't Nance have her own house? A husband? Other children? Paige has spent this entire vlog needing Nance's help to do everything from grocery shopping to folding laundry and acting like a teenager. It's a rich text for a therapist to one day unpack.
- It's Taco Monday, this is just a dumb and boring version of Paige performing the white people taco night song. Also bewildering, Paige seemingly DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE TACO STUFF. It involves almost no cooking! She even bought the spices pre-packaged! She needs Nance's help on this too!
- Undisclosed new cooking knife brand product placement. They are amazed that it............slices.
- OH NO SHE SAYS SLAYING WITH BOOTS AGAIN ABOUT THE KNIFE END THIS MISERY
- Ahahhahah the reason they're so impressed is because they've apparently been cooking with unsharpened knives. Like Paige didn't know you could sharpen knives. A master chef, ladies and gentlemen!
- Oh god we're only halfway through. Paige wakes up the next morning. She got so freckly yesterday (read: she's courting melanoma and is going to age like a raisin). She's going to go play tennis at a club in Greenwich her parents are members at (Note, she shows the logo which means you can spend five seconds googling to discover it's this club. Membership is invite only and it's gauche apparently to discuss how much membership costs, but the estimate is EIGHTY GRAND A YEAR. To be clear, that is nearly THREE TIMES the average American household income. Paige is the child of people who spend more in one year to play tennis a few times a week than most people do getting fucking doctorates, which clears up a few things for me: one, I've never gotten those texts where she casually demands Morgan Wallen pay her back tens of thousands of dollars like it's $50, but I guess to her it is like $50, and two, why everything about Paige and how she acts towards people and money in this video is a million times more effective at radicalizing people on economic policy than anything Bernie Sanders has ever lain awake at night dreaming of.
- Camera going in and out of focus during this explanation.
- Ah she's doing it with her mom. Again. Heaven forbid Paige breathe without Nance.
- Oh also she has to shoot an ad in the tennis dress, but she definitely likes and would go to play tennis anyway.
- More unboxing undisclosed adver- I mean PR.
- I'm so serious, tthe flagrant wealth being thrown around in this video and the amount of free stuff a trust fund baby with absolutely no merits or skills whatsoever is getting because she has 300K followers on Instagram that she probably bought half of is like the best argument for socialism I have ever seen.
- .Paige gets dressed in the third outfit of the day to go to the dentist. The pants are pointedly too big on her so they don't stay up in the waist and create this weird enormous kangaroo pouch around her crotch. She pairs that with a toddler sized medium t-shirt for a football team she's probably never heard of, a choker that looks like something a boy band member in the early 2000's would wear but out of fake pearls, and cowboy boots. It's... the look sure is looking, let's just say that.
- Paige opines on how much she prefers to do vlogs at home, but don't worry, she won't stop doing travel vlogs for us! (Oh thank goodness, where would we be without the insights we get from them.) She feels like they add variety to her channel (what, no, we LOVE coming with you to the barn to watch you ride without a helmet over unsourced music! five times a vlog!). Sometimes she feels like there's this pressure to show us as much as she can, which explains why all we see in her travel vlogs is hotel room bathrooms, tennis matches, and the tops of various tabletops in restaurants. Anyway she feels like there's pressure because in reality she's there for Tommy. Which we KNOW, that's the entire PROBLEM, Paige. If you were HONEST about the fact that being a WAG on tour sucks and you don't get to actually see the places you're pretending to really go and immerse yourself in, we WOULD HAVE FEWER COMPLAINTS AND YOU'D FEEL LESS ANXIETY, the problem is that you have to keep compulsively lying about how cultured you are and how you really ~got a feel~ for the location. Just stop lying!!! Stop!!! Lying!!! Challenge!!!!! The anxiety you feel and the reason you have to monitor this subreddit comes from your CONSTANT LYING.
- Ugh she would NEVER have gone to ROME if it weren't for Tommy. I think this is a ploy for authenticity but boy is it coming across as privileged.
- I do think in her own Paige way though this entire monologue she has is about something I've noticed her talking around a lot - I think she's afraid if she stops travelling and being a WAG no one will care about her. I think she's terrified of doing what makes her happy, which is being home, hanging out with her mom, riding her horses, and spending her parents' money. But if she just let herself do the things she actually liked and stopped trying to always pretend to be cooler and more interesting than she is, no one would keep paying attention to her, because it's not like she has a sparkling personality or wit or unique point of view. Like I'm an interesting person to talk to, but if I tried to make a vlog of my life it would be pretty boring. I work a 9-5 M-F job and the most interesting part of my life is when I go to a concert or craft fair on the weekend or one of my neighbors goes out of town and I watch their cat. It's not riveting, but I also don't need to be doing fascinating things in order to be or feel like an interesting person. But people like Paige who need to always be travelling and going to events and flaunting how busy they are are often really sad and empty people. They're not doing any of the little mundane things that make people happy and spending time connecting with the people around them, they're just always moving around because they're afraid if they stop for five seconds, people will see that the only thing they have going for them is all that movement and travelling. I think Paige is constantly torn between the anxiety that comes with constant travel and isolation and putting herself on display and removing herself from the things that bring her a sense of calm and security, and the anxiety that if she allows herself to feel calm and secure, she'll lose the attention she craves. IDK seems like a thing she shouldn't keep indirectly admitting to in vlogs, seems to kind of undercut half of her material, but what do I know.
- Also she really is going to positively contribute to Tommy and his life and career, ie: she needs to go home and feels comforted by home because that's where her mom and Amanda wait on her hand and foot and everything is about her, which she misses when she's with Tommy because when she's on tour with Tommy she has to accept that he's the center of attention and she's not.
- Her home vlogs have been performing the best, like, significantly. Since she probably buys views and comments, this just means she likes them better and therefore buys more engagement for them.
- Apparently her analytics are telling her that 30% of her views are coming from the "explore" feature, which she says is YouTube rewarding her for being consistent, and, uh. No. Not how that works.
- I mean yes if you buy engagement it will put you in the algorithm more, but this is the time in the video where she accidentally self-owns. If you're an actual channel getting actual views from people who actually enjoy watching you, then VERY LITTLE of your viewership should be coming from the "explore" feature, MOST of it should be coming from subscribers or regular viewers or people who watch similar content. That's how the majority of people watch YouTube or find new videos to watch. But if fully a third of your viewers are coming from what's essentially a randomizer button, that pretty much confirms Paige is buying views and/or that a lot of viewers leave after a minute or two. Because if her content was good on its own, people would see it and subscribe, and then she wouldn't need to rely on the "explore" feature. But if she, as she says, is consistently getting a third of her viewership from that feature, than that means that a third of people are just randomly watching whatever YouTube puts in front of them and not engaging with her at all, meaning the ONLY POSSIBLE explanation is that she's essentially buying enough engagement to keep appearing on the explore page, but buying the opportunity to be put in front of people isn't actually getting her a larger audience because what she's serving them is a warmed-over turd.
- Anyway Paige is counting on you not knowing the extreme basics and trusting that she "knows someone who used to work at YouTube who told her that's how the algorithm works"
- Um if you don't know about social media - no one who works at YouTube or any social media company knows how their algorithm works unless they're the ones writing it, and if they do know, they're not going to tell you because that's extremely valuable, proprietary information and also there's like a lot of papers and NDAs and non-competes they'd be breaking if they did. They're telling you to upload consistently because it's good FOR THE MEDIA COMPANY. The company is trading in being a content hub, so they need people to consistently be uploading content, ie: raising the value of their site in a way they don't have to pay for. That's the entire business model of every. Single. Digital media platform. Heck, that's how most dating apps work too. The product is data. They want you to be giving them free product.
- "I don't know, like I don't like doing things just for social media anymore?" HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
- And a week later you spent a weekend attending influencer parties in the Hamptons for....... what exactly. The scintillating conversation?????
- She's very quick to say that's not the case if she has to shoot an ad! Loves shooting ads! Please keep sending her free stuff!
- God this is taking me multiple hours but at this point I've sunk too much time in and also am convinced this won't stay up for copyright issues, so I'm taking a break to like, stretch and clean the bathroom, anything to get me moving and listening to my own thoughts which are in complete sentences.
- Ugh she would NEVER have gone to ROME if it weren't for Tommy. I think this is a ploy for authenticity but boy is it coming across as privileged.
- I'm back after cleaning the bathroom. I've been at this so long that my sibling has shown up. But I only have ten minutes to go and I REFUSE TO GIVE UP. This whole completely unhinged and unintentionally revealing rant has approximately a trillion uses of the word "like" is from 21:00 to 26:00 and if you want to watch it you can. I probably should have transcribed it for a full AP Lit level analysis, but I'm tired. If we're lucky, when Paige tries to re-upload this with copyright-free music, she'll have kept that in there.
- Paige ordered a shed! She's so excited!
- The fence looks mildly less jacked up when they go back. Paige is brushing Louie constantly in this video. Fourth time I think we've seen her do this. I feel like there's a lot more to horse care than brushing them and she only shows us this part because it looks aesthetic and she doesn't do any of the actual hard or necessary parts like shoveling horse shit, but what do I know.
- This sequence uses unsourced but definitely copyright song number three!
- Fun fact: Paige is the same fake brown color as Louie's dappled neck. Aw, you know how pets eventually look like their owners? Cute.
- Shout out to Paige's friend (perhaps Amanda? Olivia? Can't keep the preppy brunettes straight anymore) who actually wears a helmet riding.
- Next day, we open with a bit of this song (not sourced, copyright infringement number four, possibly more that at this point I no longer notice tbh). Paige puts on boots to go to the new shed and realizes the vlog is going to be so long because she's never done a whole week at a time before. Because I've made it this far, I'm the best. (Aw.)
- Paige calls Tommy to wish him happy birthday and films it, which seems... odd. Especially since she doesn't film it in a way where he can see she's filming.
- Paige gets tea for breakfast (nutritious) and a coffee for the guy at the barn we must have seen earlier. His name is Aaron. I could do some google sleuthing and find him probably, but I don't care. Paige met him going on trail rides at her old barn. Do middle aged men usually hang out at barns doing trail rides? Just scoping out young idiots with disposable income? The whole thing seems sus. Apparently he has like seven kids.
- Paige never realized how expensive pre-made sheds were, but it's a local business that makes it by hand! I assume the local business is called Costco And Sons.
- More uncredited The Shins plays as Paige only loads the shed with blankets and nothing heavy or unpicturesque.
- Another Tractor Supply run, at this point they're who really should be sponsoring Paige
- Paige goes to say goodbye to Louie and he HIDES FROM HER IN THE WOODS
- Girl.
- Oh my god no wonder he's mad at her, they've been staying somewhere WITHOUT A STRUCTURE. He's been sleeping OUTSIDE. It got into the 40's every night in New England last week!!!
- Out of focus Paige talking about how she had suuuuuch a long day "running errands". Olivia didn't get to join Paige on her little horse girl excursions because she had to be at the warehouse and onboarding a new DB employee. Anyway Paloma is in town now
- Paige learns that apparently you're supposed to be washing veggies as she prepares things to grill. PAIGE HAS BEEN COOKING THIS WHOLE TIME NOT WASHING VEGGIES. I.......... I am going to need to be sedated after this.
- Paige exfoliates and puts on a definitely not sponsored face mask
- She's wearing skiing pajamas. In case we forgot she was a skier. Did you know she was a skier????
- PSYCH, these are from previous ads with PJ Place but actually she really likes these and this one ISN'T an ad she just loves the product so much
- She's wearing skiing pajamas. In case we forgot she was a skier. Did you know she was a skier????
- Paige is doing her makeup! We're at the end stretch! I'm almost there!
- She took a day off of vlogging to go see her grandparents, but immediately segues into her Ulta trip. Because of her stupid grandparents, she didn't get to go to the barn, frankly how can she survive in these conditions.
- Dairy Boy phone case plug! She was soooo specific about what she likes in phone cases and definitely didn't just choose between Zazzle, Redbubble, or (insert other brand here)
- It's a shitty thin cover that looks like it protects your phone from approximately nothing and should cost $10 but I estimate she'll sell it for at least $40
- Of course because Paige was so super particular about the details and business-minded when it comes to quality it took a long time to make........phone cases.......
- Tommy calls and says hi
- Paige rambles about her day and makes coffee. Tommy sent her peonies because he's "so cute". We see the phone cases and they're weird and ugly. More "gifting" (undisclosed advertising) that came in the mail
- Paige makes pickled red onions, every time she does it she changes the recipe a little bit even though she totally has a recipe and isn't googling. She starts pickling carrots which she says are going to "go bad soon" (that takes like six months, how do carrots even go bad?) She also does it in a water glass which, good luck ever drinking from that again without it tasting like vinegar.
- And then with no warning, it cuts off. That took me three and a half hours. It's been a journey and I hate it. If there is ever a vlog this long, I'm doing it in segments across multiple days because I'm exhausted by this much wealth and inanity. Time to go touch grass, start dinner, wash my vegetables before I do so. You know. The little things.
2023.05.29 23:43 Drakolf Dragon Rising- 1. The Anomaly:
It was at midnight exactly when everyone who was awake promptly passed out.
It wasn't an instant 'fall to the ground like a corpse' mass unconsciousness. It was just this sudden and intense state of exhaustion that made it impossible to stay awake.
Ours was a mining town, averaging around 70,000 population, and recently being hit by recession that made finding work a pain in the ass. And with the mine running dry, it was all we could do to keep afloat.
I was out for a stroll when the exhaustion hit, I was crossing the street when this oppressively heavy state of exhaustion just hit me. I panicked, of course, thinking that I was having a stroke or something, desperately trying to get to the other side of the crosswalk.
Then darkness.
It was the sunlight that woke me up, I squinted in the hellishly bright light and fumbled around for my sunglasses. Why I kept sunglasses on my person in the dead of night was because I was that kind of asshole who wanted to look cool. My mileage definitely varied on that front, but it was at least an attempt.
Still, when I managed to find them, confused as to why I was on hot asphalt, I put them on, only for them to immediately fall off. I was forced to open my eyes, and that's when I saw my hands.
At first, I thought it was the mother of all sunburns, being so bright red, but when the sound came out of my mouth, I knew something had gone terribly wrong. First and foremost, I was covered in bright red scales, I had these short, sharp claws at the end of my hands, on top of which my feet were utterly fucked up, and I had a tail.
I scrambled for my phone, wondering if it would even register my touch, Thankfully, it did.
You know those memes where someone takes a picture of an animal, and it looks really fucking funny? Guess whose first picture was like that. I turned on the camera, flipped the camera so I could see myself on the screen, and accidentally took a picture as my new snout filled the screen.
I tried to get up, but I realized that my clothes were too big, and that I had gone from a solid 6 feet and dropped to a measly three. Bear in mind, the average height of a person with dwarfism is a solid four, and I know this because I did an entire project on it in ninth grade.
I had no idea what the hell I was, if I was the only person like this, and I was forced to use my XL shirt to cover my otherwise naked body, tearing the shit out of it with my new feet claws, and being faced with the reality that being a three-foot lizard meant I had to crawl through my dog door.
Thankfully, Brutus didn't even seem phased, he just walked up to me, tail wagging, and very much wanting to be pet, which I did, very carefully. I needed something pure and wholesome in the world to keep me from going insane.
That was around six AM.
Now, googling 'Help, I've turned into a three foot lizard' didn't help at all, and I sure as shit didn't want to walk all of the way to my parent's house and potentially freak them out, but I did have my brother.
James is a furry, I'll just say it flat out. Like, an absolute turbo furry. It had taken me time to get used to the idea that he liked furry characters, and I knew a lot of the art he liked dealt with this kind of situation.
I was desperate, and I needed someone on my side. When I called him, it rang and then went to voicemail, and I proceeded to continuously call him, because he will eventually wake up. I got ready to call him again when a notification came up saying he wanted to FaceTime.
I braced myself for his inevitable squeeing when he saw I'd been transformed into a tiny little lizard.
I didn't expect him to be one as well.
Of course, he was the one who was fucking ecstatic, and it took me a lot of attempts to get him to listen to me, which he eventually did.
"Bro." I said, the words slipping out of my mouth weird. I had to carefully enunciate, moving a tongue that was completely alien to me inside of a mouth that didn't work the way I was used to. "What the thuck ith going on?" I asked. "Do you haff any idea what ith going on."
It was painful, really. Of course my brother spoke fluently. It didn't occur to me until he was halfway through his diatribe about TF triggers that I said, "Hey, wait, you're speaking another language." I paused. "I'm speaking another language!"
Like, it all translated into English for me, but we were very much speaking a language that was full of sibilants and yips, yaps, and naks.
"Oh, yeah. That's Yipyak." He said.
"What the fuck is a Yipyak, and if this is some sort of deez nuts joke, I'm going over there and clawing you."
So he explained that we were both Kobolds, creatures from Dungeons and Dragons, and our native language was Draconic, more specifically a pidgin language known as Yipyak.
"Alright, scholar of the Kobolds, what do we do about this situation, because people are going to freak out."
"Brother." He said. "There's no way in hell it's just us."
Part of me knew he was right, but I absolutely did not want to believe it.
Naturally, people gathered around the Town Hall.
The screaming started around eight AM, as people woke up to find themselves turned into Kobolds. Some of them were screaming in joy, others were as horrified as I was, but that wasn't the worst part.
Only half of us were Kobolds.
Mom and Dad picked us up, because they could reach the pedals. They were, of course, very concerned, but they helped us out because they loved us.
Most of the people who arrived who had been turned into Kobolds had to make due with shirts hiked up to their waists and tied off with a belt, the rest just stood around. Naked. There was one weirdo who just made a loincloth and was looking very proud of himself.
Weirdly enough, I actually kind of wanted one.
So, there we were, engaging in what was effectively a cultural exchange between the nerds and furries and the rest of us normal folk. Really, the only explanation as to how and why this happened was. "Fucked if we know, but it has knock-on implications for the rest of the universe."
The Humans- wow, that was a thought I just had, and not one I could just not have- The Humans were of course upset that this had happened and that our entire town was facing a crisis that we didn't know how to deal with.
But the furries had hypotheses.
First, the facts as we knew them. Exactly half of our population had been transformed. The only people who transformed were the D&D nerds and the furries, with the rest being directly related. The transformation only seemed to only effect family members in the same generation, which is why a husband and wife were Kobolds, but their kids weren't. Finally, there was nothing like this happening anywhere else in the world.
Therefore, the hypotheses were thus:
A. Some sort of wild magic surge triggered the transformation. And yes, magic was real because some of us could use it. Me included.
B. The D&D universe actually existed and was bleeding into reality. This excited the D&D players, because it meant they could go on an adventure.
C. There was a Dragon somewhere, maybe in the mine, and it wanted minions. Nobody liked this idea. Well, nobody said they liked it. I felt weirdly okay with it.
D. This was just Some Weird Shit, so let's just move on.
Naturally, someone leaked what happened, the government came, and, well, that's when we discovered that anyone entering the town limits had a roughly 50/50 chance of getting instantly turned into a Kobold. We also determined we could leave, but the way was blockaded because nobody wanted this to spread.
To the government's credit, they didn't take away our civil liberties to dissect us, they just showed up, brought scientists, and started trying to figure out what was going on.
The rest of us just had to adjust.
We couldn't really live in our own houses anymore, I mean, they're not even built for people with Dwarfism, it was even worse for us because we couldn't even reach the counter. So we just did the best we could. Some carpenters got together and started building houses that were proportional to our size. Kitchen appliances weren't going to be of any real help, so we just had to make due with houses that didn't have any electricity, but at least worked well with space heaters.
One of the best things about these houses was that they were quick to make and were easy to navigate. Some of the people built medieval-style housing, which I found myself increasingly attracted to as a place to live. Some of the D&D players were part of something called the Society of Creative Anachronism, and they hand made a lot of clothes that, for whatever reason, my stupid little Kobold brain liked, so here I was in a thatch-roofed house proportional to my size in medieval clothing that I could not fathom why I liked it.
In fact, I'm beginning to hate who I used to be.
The first sign that I was experiencing a dislike of my Human body was when I saw a picture of me and just got angry. Like, I smashed the frame against the floor and tore the thing to shreds before I got a hold of myself.
I catch myself only talking in Yipyak, and being annoyed when I have to switch to English. Not to mention, I've begun practicing magic. I can't explain how it works, I just know it works, it's helped me keep the place clean.
I know how to cast six of these spells, though, two of them exhaust me. The D&D nerds identified them as 'Prestidigitation, Mage Hand, Mending, Firebolt, Detect Magic, and Magic Missile.' Basically, the power do to a lot or really minor effects, the ability to create a magic hand that does whatever I want it to, the ability to fix some things, and the ability to throw fire at something- all at will. As well as the ability to see magic and the ability to throw magic at something that will always hit.
A lot of utility.
So with Detect Magic, I was able to determine that the town was surrounded in a cylindrical magic field, I actually took the time to help mark the border so people wouldn't accidentally become a Kobold. Other things I was able to figure out was that it was a '9th level' spell with Transmutation.
"Oh, that's Mass Polymorph! But that spell only effects ten creatures."
"Well, whatever it is, it's made a hell of a mess of things." I said.
Well, something came out of the mine earlier today, it was a giant fucking rat, and I used Magic Missile to kill it. I was halfway through skinning it when I realized I was skinning it, and that I had never skinned an animal before. I kept at it, and brought it to the warren.
The warren?
Yeah, that word fits.
I have these weird moments of self-awareness where I suddenly remember what life used to be like, and how much I had changed. How much the others changed. Some of them had changed their names , and I realized with a start that I didn't want my name anymore.
But there's another one that's just on the tip of my tongue.
Ruuk.
A Kobold came up to me, wanting some help with something. He said my old name and all I could say in response was, "My name is Ruuk."
He didn't even question it, and immediately started using it. I helped out with what he needed- he'd broken his hoe and needed it fixed, which I obliged.
It struck me, as we hit our first year of this, that I didn't want to go back to being a Human.
[Navigation for 'Dragon Rising'- [1] [2]]
submitted by Drakolf to DrakolfsWritings [link] [comments]
It wasn't an instant 'fall to the ground like a corpse' mass unconsciousness. It was just this sudden and intense state of exhaustion that made it impossible to stay awake.
Ours was a mining town, averaging around 70,000 population, and recently being hit by recession that made finding work a pain in the ass. And with the mine running dry, it was all we could do to keep afloat.
I was out for a stroll when the exhaustion hit, I was crossing the street when this oppressively heavy state of exhaustion just hit me. I panicked, of course, thinking that I was having a stroke or something, desperately trying to get to the other side of the crosswalk.
Then darkness.
It was the sunlight that woke me up, I squinted in the hellishly bright light and fumbled around for my sunglasses. Why I kept sunglasses on my person in the dead of night was because I was that kind of asshole who wanted to look cool. My mileage definitely varied on that front, but it was at least an attempt.
Still, when I managed to find them, confused as to why I was on hot asphalt, I put them on, only for them to immediately fall off. I was forced to open my eyes, and that's when I saw my hands.
At first, I thought it was the mother of all sunburns, being so bright red, but when the sound came out of my mouth, I knew something had gone terribly wrong. First and foremost, I was covered in bright red scales, I had these short, sharp claws at the end of my hands, on top of which my feet were utterly fucked up, and I had a tail.
I scrambled for my phone, wondering if it would even register my touch, Thankfully, it did.
You know those memes where someone takes a picture of an animal, and it looks really fucking funny? Guess whose first picture was like that. I turned on the camera, flipped the camera so I could see myself on the screen, and accidentally took a picture as my new snout filled the screen.
I tried to get up, but I realized that my clothes were too big, and that I had gone from a solid 6 feet and dropped to a measly three. Bear in mind, the average height of a person with dwarfism is a solid four, and I know this because I did an entire project on it in ninth grade.
I had no idea what the hell I was, if I was the only person like this, and I was forced to use my XL shirt to cover my otherwise naked body, tearing the shit out of it with my new feet claws, and being faced with the reality that being a three-foot lizard meant I had to crawl through my dog door.
Thankfully, Brutus didn't even seem phased, he just walked up to me, tail wagging, and very much wanting to be pet, which I did, very carefully. I needed something pure and wholesome in the world to keep me from going insane.
That was around six AM.
Now, googling 'Help, I've turned into a three foot lizard' didn't help at all, and I sure as shit didn't want to walk all of the way to my parent's house and potentially freak them out, but I did have my brother.
James is a furry, I'll just say it flat out. Like, an absolute turbo furry. It had taken me time to get used to the idea that he liked furry characters, and I knew a lot of the art he liked dealt with this kind of situation.
I was desperate, and I needed someone on my side. When I called him, it rang and then went to voicemail, and I proceeded to continuously call him, because he will eventually wake up. I got ready to call him again when a notification came up saying he wanted to FaceTime.
I braced myself for his inevitable squeeing when he saw I'd been transformed into a tiny little lizard.
I didn't expect him to be one as well.
Of course, he was the one who was fucking ecstatic, and it took me a lot of attempts to get him to listen to me, which he eventually did.
"Bro." I said, the words slipping out of my mouth weird. I had to carefully enunciate, moving a tongue that was completely alien to me inside of a mouth that didn't work the way I was used to. "What the thuck ith going on?" I asked. "Do you haff any idea what ith going on."
It was painful, really. Of course my brother spoke fluently. It didn't occur to me until he was halfway through his diatribe about TF triggers that I said, "Hey, wait, you're speaking another language." I paused. "I'm speaking another language!"
Like, it all translated into English for me, but we were very much speaking a language that was full of sibilants and yips, yaps, and naks.
"Oh, yeah. That's Yipyak." He said.
"What the fuck is a Yipyak, and if this is some sort of deez nuts joke, I'm going over there and clawing you."
So he explained that we were both Kobolds, creatures from Dungeons and Dragons, and our native language was Draconic, more specifically a pidgin language known as Yipyak.
"Alright, scholar of the Kobolds, what do we do about this situation, because people are going to freak out."
"Brother." He said. "There's no way in hell it's just us."
Part of me knew he was right, but I absolutely did not want to believe it.
Naturally, people gathered around the Town Hall.
The screaming started around eight AM, as people woke up to find themselves turned into Kobolds. Some of them were screaming in joy, others were as horrified as I was, but that wasn't the worst part.
Only half of us were Kobolds.
Mom and Dad picked us up, because they could reach the pedals. They were, of course, very concerned, but they helped us out because they loved us.
Most of the people who arrived who had been turned into Kobolds had to make due with shirts hiked up to their waists and tied off with a belt, the rest just stood around. Naked. There was one weirdo who just made a loincloth and was looking very proud of himself.
Weirdly enough, I actually kind of wanted one.
So, there we were, engaging in what was effectively a cultural exchange between the nerds and furries and the rest of us normal folk. Really, the only explanation as to how and why this happened was. "Fucked if we know, but it has knock-on implications for the rest of the universe."
The Humans- wow, that was a thought I just had, and not one I could just not have- The Humans were of course upset that this had happened and that our entire town was facing a crisis that we didn't know how to deal with.
But the furries had hypotheses.
First, the facts as we knew them. Exactly half of our population had been transformed. The only people who transformed were the D&D nerds and the furries, with the rest being directly related. The transformation only seemed to only effect family members in the same generation, which is why a husband and wife were Kobolds, but their kids weren't. Finally, there was nothing like this happening anywhere else in the world.
Therefore, the hypotheses were thus:
A. Some sort of wild magic surge triggered the transformation. And yes, magic was real because some of us could use it. Me included.
B. The D&D universe actually existed and was bleeding into reality. This excited the D&D players, because it meant they could go on an adventure.
C. There was a Dragon somewhere, maybe in the mine, and it wanted minions. Nobody liked this idea. Well, nobody said they liked it. I felt weirdly okay with it.
D. This was just Some Weird Shit, so let's just move on.
Naturally, someone leaked what happened, the government came, and, well, that's when we discovered that anyone entering the town limits had a roughly 50/50 chance of getting instantly turned into a Kobold. We also determined we could leave, but the way was blockaded because nobody wanted this to spread.
To the government's credit, they didn't take away our civil liberties to dissect us, they just showed up, brought scientists, and started trying to figure out what was going on.
The rest of us just had to adjust.
We couldn't really live in our own houses anymore, I mean, they're not even built for people with Dwarfism, it was even worse for us because we couldn't even reach the counter. So we just did the best we could. Some carpenters got together and started building houses that were proportional to our size. Kitchen appliances weren't going to be of any real help, so we just had to make due with houses that didn't have any electricity, but at least worked well with space heaters.
One of the best things about these houses was that they were quick to make and were easy to navigate. Some of the people built medieval-style housing, which I found myself increasingly attracted to as a place to live. Some of the D&D players were part of something called the Society of Creative Anachronism, and they hand made a lot of clothes that, for whatever reason, my stupid little Kobold brain liked, so here I was in a thatch-roofed house proportional to my size in medieval clothing that I could not fathom why I liked it.
In fact, I'm beginning to hate who I used to be.
The first sign that I was experiencing a dislike of my Human body was when I saw a picture of me and just got angry. Like, I smashed the frame against the floor and tore the thing to shreds before I got a hold of myself.
I catch myself only talking in Yipyak, and being annoyed when I have to switch to English. Not to mention, I've begun practicing magic. I can't explain how it works, I just know it works, it's helped me keep the place clean.
I know how to cast six of these spells, though, two of them exhaust me. The D&D nerds identified them as 'Prestidigitation, Mage Hand, Mending, Firebolt, Detect Magic, and Magic Missile.' Basically, the power do to a lot or really minor effects, the ability to create a magic hand that does whatever I want it to, the ability to fix some things, and the ability to throw fire at something- all at will. As well as the ability to see magic and the ability to throw magic at something that will always hit.
A lot of utility.
So with Detect Magic, I was able to determine that the town was surrounded in a cylindrical magic field, I actually took the time to help mark the border so people wouldn't accidentally become a Kobold. Other things I was able to figure out was that it was a '9th level' spell with Transmutation.
"Oh, that's Mass Polymorph! But that spell only effects ten creatures."
"Well, whatever it is, it's made a hell of a mess of things." I said.
Well, something came out of the mine earlier today, it was a giant fucking rat, and I used Magic Missile to kill it. I was halfway through skinning it when I realized I was skinning it, and that I had never skinned an animal before. I kept at it, and brought it to the warren.
The warren?
Yeah, that word fits.
I have these weird moments of self-awareness where I suddenly remember what life used to be like, and how much I had changed. How much the others changed. Some of them had changed their names , and I realized with a start that I didn't want my name anymore.
But there's another one that's just on the tip of my tongue.
Ruuk.
A Kobold came up to me, wanting some help with something. He said my old name and all I could say in response was, "My name is Ruuk."
He didn't even question it, and immediately started using it. I helped out with what he needed- he'd broken his hoe and needed it fixed, which I obliged.
It struck me, as we hit our first year of this, that I didn't want to go back to being a Human.
[Navigation for 'Dragon Rising'- [1] [2]]
2023.05.29 23:17 selenamcg Leave my damn stuff alone, or the story of how I just cried over hotdog buns
As you all know, we have no object permanence. Once something is out of sight, it now longer exists.
My husband does not understand this, no matter how many times I tell him to not move my things, he "puts them away"
So I stopped at J Dawgs the other day, got 2 polish dogs for then and the 6 pack of cook your own. My intention was to package them into smaller portions and throw them in the freezer, both buns and dogs. Also note I have chronic fatigue syndrome, so once I got home I didn't have the energy to deal with them. I put the buns on the table, and was not going to move them until I dealt with it.
Well, they disappeared from the table and thus existence, until today. I thought I am going to go cook one of those and take care of the rest.
Well my friends the buns were moldy. I am pissed at both myself and my husband. I cried because A. I am hungry. B. I feel stupid to have paid the ADHD tax again. C. I don't know how many times I've asked him not to move things, and he continues to do so. D. I have crap emotional regulation skills.
I am sure many of you relate. Now I'm mad, sad, and hungry.
submitted by selenamcg to adhdwomen [link] [comments]
My husband does not understand this, no matter how many times I tell him to not move my things, he "puts them away"
So I stopped at J Dawgs the other day, got 2 polish dogs for then and the 6 pack of cook your own. My intention was to package them into smaller portions and throw them in the freezer, both buns and dogs. Also note I have chronic fatigue syndrome, so once I got home I didn't have the energy to deal with them. I put the buns on the table, and was not going to move them until I dealt with it.
Well, they disappeared from the table and thus existence, until today. I thought I am going to go cook one of those and take care of the rest.
Well my friends the buns were moldy. I am pissed at both myself and my husband. I cried because A. I am hungry. B. I feel stupid to have paid the ADHD tax again. C. I don't know how many times I've asked him not to move things, and he continues to do so. D. I have crap emotional regulation skills.
I am sure many of you relate. Now I'm mad, sad, and hungry.
2023.05.29 23:07 footfetishnightmares Do I need my toenails removed? I model full time--very anxious, please help!
Pics linked below! 33F, 5'5", 108lbs, white; CC: painful, swollen, red, oozing big toes bilaterally (please see timeline below). No major medical issues, no meds, do not drink, smoke, or use recreational drugs. USA. Podiatrist recommending removal. Second opinion?
Background: Hello and thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am extremely anxious about the possibility of having both my big toenails removed. Some background info: I danced for two decades and played many sports, which caused problems with ingrowns on my big toenails all of my life. As an adult I am very active and love to wear high heels so they have continued to be a problem. In the last year I found a nail tech who I trust (cleanliness, gentleness, etc.) with my feet and only have pedicures done by her. Typically I leave with my big toes a little bit red, but more comfortable with continued improvement in the days following. In general I only occasionally have issues with the left big toe, but almost always have at least minor issues with the right. After my last pedicure I attended a music festival and was on my feet walking and dancing much more than usual. I did wear shoes I have worn before and not had any issues with. Unfortunately, my toes really took a beating and swelled up more than they ever have before, to the point where I made my first ever podiatry appt (5/26/23; please see details in timeline below). I was also already on antibiotics for a dental procedure, which made the level of inflammation especially concerning. The podiatrist recommended removal of the left toenail, citing that it was loose at the base and unlikely to improve on its own. He also diagnosed a granuloma on the right, and said a portion should be removed permanently.
To say I am freaking out is an understatement. Of course I want to do what is best for my health. I have always been self conscious of my toes, so the anxiety and distress this is causing me mentally is significant. More importantly, I model full time professionally, so having pretty feet is a requirement of the job and this will impact my ability to provide for myself. In addition, I will be traveling all of June (lots of walking, beach & pool time).
My Questions:
submitted by footfetishnightmares to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Background: Hello and thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am extremely anxious about the possibility of having both my big toenails removed. Some background info: I danced for two decades and played many sports, which caused problems with ingrowns on my big toenails all of my life. As an adult I am very active and love to wear high heels so they have continued to be a problem. In the last year I found a nail tech who I trust (cleanliness, gentleness, etc.) with my feet and only have pedicures done by her. Typically I leave with my big toes a little bit red, but more comfortable with continued improvement in the days following. In general I only occasionally have issues with the left big toe, but almost always have at least minor issues with the right. After my last pedicure I attended a music festival and was on my feet walking and dancing much more than usual. I did wear shoes I have worn before and not had any issues with. Unfortunately, my toes really took a beating and swelled up more than they ever have before, to the point where I made my first ever podiatry appt (5/26/23; please see details in timeline below). I was also already on antibiotics for a dental procedure, which made the level of inflammation especially concerning. The podiatrist recommended removal of the left toenail, citing that it was loose at the base and unlikely to improve on its own. He also diagnosed a granuloma on the right, and said a portion should be removed permanently.
To say I am freaking out is an understatement. Of course I want to do what is best for my health. I have always been self conscious of my toes, so the anxiety and distress this is causing me mentally is significant. More importantly, I model full time professionally, so having pretty feet is a requirement of the job and this will impact my ability to provide for myself. In addition, I will be traveling all of June (lots of walking, beach & pool time).
My Questions:
- What is the best course of action?
- Should I obtain a second opinion?
- What course of outcome should I expect if I proceed conservatively and hold off on removal?
- Should I continue with this routine (see below for details)?
- How should I handle traveling--footwear, protection, etc.?
- If I must proceed with removal, are there any cosmetic solutions? (This isn't just me being vain here, I need nice feet to protect my job).
- 5/10/23
- pedicure at usual place, big toes slightly red bilaterally
- no change (improvement or worsening) over next few days
- 5/17/23
- start Amoxicillin 500mg 3x daily for dental procedure (21)
- 5/19/23
- pedicure at usual place, come in with both big toes slightly red and tender, leave with them feeling a bit better
- 5/20/23
- 2.5 hour flight, music festival night 1, wore comfortable shoes with insoles
- toes no worse or better than day before
- 5/21/23
- wake up to both big toes and feet a bit swollen but not too painful
- clean, apply polysporin and sterile bandage
- music festival night 2, wore comfortable shoes, drunk girl stomps on my feet
- 5/22/23
- both big toes swollen, red, angry, warm, and oozing
- cleaned & dressed as night before
- fly back 2.5 hours wearing open toed slides
- 5/23/23 -- pics: https://imgur.com/ldKpTOM
- wake up to left toe extremely swollen, send pics to podiatrist friend for consult; begin following care routine (2-3x/day):
- 10-15 minute warm water soak with pure epsom salt
- wash with bactine and vashe
- dry, then apply polysporin
- bandage loosely with sterile gauze and self adherent wrap
- elevate with 10 minutes ice pack per hour for 2-3 hours per day
- wear loose surgical socks over fresh bandages at night
- open-toed slides for daytime (but staying off feet as much as possible
- wake up to left toe extremely swollen, send pics to podiatrist friend for consult; begin following care routine (2-3x/day):
- 5/24/23
- toes look slightly improved, continue routine
- 5/25/23
- left toe hot to the touch, freaking out so finally make podiatry appt
- continue routine
- itchy rash appears on shins that night
- 5/26/23 -- pics: https://imgur.com/2ThAOve
- recommended discontinuation of Amoxicillin (5 remaining in course)
- see podiatrist, diagnoses granuloma on right from repeated ingrown irritation; recommends left nail removal as nail base is loose and right toe nail portion for permanent removal
- ask if we can wait, he prescribes Cephalexin 500mg 2x daily (20), follow-up after completion
- 5/27/23 -- pics: https://imgur.com/RUqcIpq
- continue routine, toes continue to improve
- left toe swelling finally goes down, release of fluid by apply slight pressure to top surface
- friends dog stomps on right toe, swollen area gets bigger and weepy
- 5/28/23
- continue routine, toes continue to improve
- rash becomes extremely itchy, start Benadryl
- 5/29/23 -- pics: https://imgur.com/YAgmnCs
- continue routine, toes continue to improve
- no pain (unless pressure applied directly to granuloma area on right toe)
- can walk normally
- neither toe hot or warm to touch
- left toenail still slightly loose at base (only slightly so), but significantly improved
- current status of shin rash: https://imgur.com/sM2Jtkv
- start Fluconazole 150mg (1x) for yeast infection due to antibiotics
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submitted by r3crac to couponsfromchina [link] [comments]
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2023.05.29 22:46 Chance_Poet_2253 The vendors at the Hollywood Bowl have gotten out of control
I went to two nights of The Cure last week at the Bowl. Haven’t been there since before the pandemic and I’m shocked at how insane the vendor situation has gotten.
There are so many hot dog stands and bootleg merch vendors crowding on highland now that you can’t even move and it causes seriously dangerous foot traffic gridlock. There’s almost 18,000 people leaving the same place at the same time and I’m confused why it’s so unregulated because not only are there so many vendors on the sidewalk (I’d say there were about 200 on highland between the bowl and Hollywood Blvd) but they’re all aggressive.
The bootleg t shirt guys will get in your face and scream at you, hot dog ladies moved their carts to block the sidewalk so people were walking into the street to get around them. I was almost hit by a car and traffic directors were screaming at people to get back on the sidewalk but there was literally nowhere to walk on the sidewalk because there were fucking coolers and trolleys and bicycles and suitcases from vendors.
I saw two t shirt vendors get into a fist fight and no one was around to stop them.
My friend went to the last night of their shows at the Bowl and said he saw someone get hit by a car because there was no room on the sidewalk and everyone was walking in the street to get down Highland.
I’m floored. I know the LAPD are extremely useless, I’ve had my own experiences to prove this. But it’s a genuine security hazard to people.
submitted by Chance_Poet_2253 to LosAngeles [link] [comments]
There are so many hot dog stands and bootleg merch vendors crowding on highland now that you can’t even move and it causes seriously dangerous foot traffic gridlock. There’s almost 18,000 people leaving the same place at the same time and I’m confused why it’s so unregulated because not only are there so many vendors on the sidewalk (I’d say there were about 200 on highland between the bowl and Hollywood Blvd) but they’re all aggressive.
The bootleg t shirt guys will get in your face and scream at you, hot dog ladies moved their carts to block the sidewalk so people were walking into the street to get around them. I was almost hit by a car and traffic directors were screaming at people to get back on the sidewalk but there was literally nowhere to walk on the sidewalk because there were fucking coolers and trolleys and bicycles and suitcases from vendors.
I saw two t shirt vendors get into a fist fight and no one was around to stop them.
My friend went to the last night of their shows at the Bowl and said he saw someone get hit by a car because there was no room on the sidewalk and everyone was walking in the street to get down Highland.
I’m floored. I know the LAPD are extremely useless, I’ve had my own experiences to prove this. But it’s a genuine security hazard to people.
2023.05.29 22:35 ryanrainey25 “I’ve got so much chilli even Batman won’t be able to stop us.”
 | submitted by ryanrainey25 to BatmanArkham [link] [comments] |
2023.05.29 22:24 Adventurous_Park_750 AITA for asking my friend what they want after my mum asked me what she prefered
I (16F) have recently made a friend (16F). My mum has always wanted me to have a friend, whilst throughout primary and until recently secondary school I have always been a loner, only allowing certain people into my comfort zone. I had friends in primary school, but they were fake. I don't want to go into too many details. In Year 7 I had a group of around five friends, but when COVID came in year 8 they went off to do their own thing as they were in Y11.
I did have one more friend, but I am now in Y11 so is he and he hasn't been talking to me for two years. I have known my new friend because we spend time together doing speech and language. My mum has been urging me to be friends with her and now that I am, she has been happy for me. I went round my friend's house few weeks back and this Friday she's coming around. My mum asked me if she would like hot dogs instead of pizza, I said no because I know what she likes as she had told me. However, I thought it'd be wise to ask my friend if she wanted hotdogs instead of Pizza. As I said, she said no.
I told my mum about what my friend said, and then my mum has a go at me for asking her even though I was only confirming with my friend about what she wanted. Her mum and dad gave me a choice when I went around her house, however my mum said "she gets what I get her and be grateful" and started getting angry. This isn't new in my house, but with a friend? She should get a choice like everyone should. I must admit I am now sitting in my room feeling angry because I am finally happy and my mum is making me unhappy.
Am I the asshole?
submitted by Adventurous_Park_750 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
I did have one more friend, but I am now in Y11 so is he and he hasn't been talking to me for two years. I have known my new friend because we spend time together doing speech and language. My mum has been urging me to be friends with her and now that I am, she has been happy for me. I went round my friend's house few weeks back and this Friday she's coming around. My mum asked me if she would like hot dogs instead of pizza, I said no because I know what she likes as she had told me. However, I thought it'd be wise to ask my friend if she wanted hotdogs instead of Pizza. As I said, she said no.
I told my mum about what my friend said, and then my mum has a go at me for asking her even though I was only confirming with my friend about what she wanted. Her mum and dad gave me a choice when I went around her house, however my mum said "she gets what I get her and be grateful" and started getting angry. This isn't new in my house, but with a friend? She should get a choice like everyone should. I must admit I am now sitting in my room feeling angry because I am finally happy and my mum is making me unhappy.
Am I the asshole?
2023.05.29 22:07 myboimelvinmole [USA, CA] [H] Figures (Final Fantasy, Diablo, Skylanders), NES, N64, GBA/GBC, DS, Gamecube & PS1-PS3 Games [W] PayPal
FIGURES (SHIPPING NOT INCLUDED IN PRICES)
$85 each - Final Fantasy 8 Quistis Trepe (Limited, Kotobukiya)
$40 - Diablo II Unraveler Figure (NIB)
$45 - Diablo II Lord of Terror Figure (NIB)
SKYLANDERS CHASE FIGURES (NIB UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE)
https://imgur.com/a/Aqdvue3
$100 - Lightning Rod Metallic
$20 - Life Creation Crystal
$200 - Cynder (Clear) - OPEN BOX
$100 - Dinorang Silver - LOOSE
$120 - Stink Bomb - OPEN BOX
$25 - Hot Streak
$40 - Hot Dog
$220 - Bone Bash
$60 - Fright Rider
$100 - Eruptor Silver
$50 per - Blackout (x2)
$50 - Echo
$20 - Light Trap (Variant)
GAMES (SHIPPING INCLUDED IN PRICES)
NES
https://imgur.com/a/9WekC7S
$12 - Burgertime
$15 - Bubble Bobble
$30 - Contra
$15 - Donkey Kong Classics
$12 - Faxanadu
$15 - Adventures of Lolo
$40 - Adventures of Lolo 2
$20 - Super Mario Bros 2
$20 - Super Mario Bros 3
$25 - The Legend of Zelda
$25 - Zelda 2 The Adventure of Link
OR $200 Shipped for All NES games PLUS 6 blank cartridge sleeves and 4 Nintendo sleeves
N64
$30 bundle - Turok the Dinosaur Hunter, Wave Race, WCW vs NWO World Tour
https://imgur.com/a/1EzIcgK
GBA
$130 - 9.0 CIB WATA Graded Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga
$110 - Pokemon Fire Red - Loose
$25 bundle - Lot of 6 GBA games + 1 GBC: Backyard Sports, Cartoon Network Block Party - w/ Manual, Pirates of the Caribbean, Polly Pocket Super Splash Island, Namco Museum, and Spider-Man 2, Spongebob Squarepants and the Legend of the Lost Spatula (GBC),
DS
$200 - Pokemon Soul Silver Big Box w/ game - No pokewalker, tear in bottom corner, some Japanese parts, inner game has all inserts
https://imgur.com/a/7M5eCVJ
GAMECUBE
$105 - Donkey Konga Bundle (1,2 & Bongos, box in rough shape, bongos bejazzled):
$95 - LOZ Collector's Edition (CIB, NM)
$50 -LOZ Ocarina of Time Master Quest (CIB, cosmetic damage to manual + disc but works fine)
$70 - LOZ Wind Waker (w/ insert, no manual)
$35 - Metroid Prime (w/ Manual, minor manual creasing; stickers on case)
$40 - Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (no manual)
$45 - Starfox Assault (w/ insert, no manual)
PS1
$35 - Blasto - CIB w/ Reg Card
$25 - Final Doom - CIB
$40 - Omega Boost - CIB
$30 - Star Wars Jedi Power Battles - CIB w/ Cover Art (Red and Blue Lightsabers Clashing)
$15 - Star Wars Masters of Teras Kasi - CIB
$70 - The Super Dimension Fortress Macross Do You Remember Love- CIB w/ Reg Card
$300 - Time Crisis Big Box CIB w/ Gun Con (Near Mint Condition)
$45 - Um Jammer Lammy - CIB
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PS3
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$30 - Hyperdimension Neptunia
$30 - Hyperdimension Neptunia Mk 2 - sticker on case
$30 - Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory - sticker on case
$35 - The Sly Collection
submitted by myboimelvinmole to GameSale [link] [comments]
$85 each - Final Fantasy 8 Quistis Trepe (Limited, Kotobukiya)
$40 - Diablo II Unraveler Figure (NIB)
$45 - Diablo II Lord of Terror Figure (NIB)
SKYLANDERS CHASE FIGURES (NIB UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE)
https://imgur.com/a/Aqdvue3
$100 - Lightning Rod Metallic
$20 - Life Creation Crystal
$200 - Cynder (Clear) - OPEN BOX
$100 - Dinorang Silver - LOOSE
$120 - Stink Bomb - OPEN BOX
$25 - Hot Streak
$40 - Hot Dog
$220 - Bone Bash
$60 - Fright Rider
$100 - Eruptor Silver
$50 per - Blackout (x2)
$50 - Echo
$20 - Light Trap (Variant)
GAMES (SHIPPING INCLUDED IN PRICES)
NES
https://imgur.com/a/9WekC7S
$12 - Burgertime
$15 - Bubble Bobble
$30 - Contra
$15 - Donkey Kong Classics
$12 - Faxanadu
$15 - Adventures of Lolo
$40 - Adventures of Lolo 2
$20 - Super Mario Bros 2
$20 - Super Mario Bros 3
$25 - The Legend of Zelda
$25 - Zelda 2 The Adventure of Link
OR $200 Shipped for All NES games PLUS 6 blank cartridge sleeves and 4 Nintendo sleeves
N64
$30 bundle - Turok the Dinosaur Hunter, Wave Race, WCW vs NWO World Tour
https://imgur.com/a/1EzIcgK
GBA
$130 - 9.0 CIB WATA Graded Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga
$110 - Pokemon Fire Red - Loose
$25 bundle - Lot of 6 GBA games + 1 GBC: Backyard Sports, Cartoon Network Block Party - w/ Manual, Pirates of the Caribbean, Polly Pocket Super Splash Island, Namco Museum, and Spider-Man 2, Spongebob Squarepants and the Legend of the Lost Spatula (GBC),
DS
$200 - Pokemon Soul Silver Big Box w/ game - No pokewalker, tear in bottom corner, some Japanese parts, inner game has all inserts
https://imgur.com/a/7M5eCVJ
GAMECUBE
$105 - Donkey Konga Bundle (1,2 & Bongos, box in rough shape, bongos bejazzled):
$95 - LOZ Collector's Edition (CIB, NM)
$50 -LOZ Ocarina of Time Master Quest (CIB, cosmetic damage to manual + disc but works fine)
$70 - LOZ Wind Waker (w/ insert, no manual)
$35 - Metroid Prime (w/ Manual, minor manual creasing; stickers on case)
$40 - Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (no manual)
$45 - Starfox Assault (w/ insert, no manual)
PS1
$35 - Blasto - CIB w/ Reg Card
$25 - Final Doom - CIB
$40 - Omega Boost - CIB
$30 - Star Wars Jedi Power Battles - CIB w/ Cover Art (Red and Blue Lightsabers Clashing)
$15 - Star Wars Masters of Teras Kasi - CIB
$70 - The Super Dimension Fortress Macross Do You Remember Love- CIB w/ Reg Card
$300 - Time Crisis Big Box CIB w/ Gun Con (Near Mint Condition)
$45 - Um Jammer Lammy - CIB
PS2
$30 bundle - Okami - CIB, Superman Shadow of Apokolips - CIB, Tomb Raider The Angel of Darkness - CIB
PS3
$15 - God of War Collection - stickers on case
$30 - Hyperdimension Neptunia
$30 - Hyperdimension Neptunia Mk 2 - sticker on case
$30 - Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory - sticker on case
$35 - The Sly Collection
2023.05.29 22:04 Klokinator The Cryopod to Hell 492: Glinch's Thralls
Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 1,933,000+ words long! For more information, check out the link below:
What is the Cryopod to Hell?
Join the Cryoverse Discord server!
Here's a list of all Cryopod's chapters, along with an ePub/Mobi/PDF version!
Want to stay up to date on TCTH? Subscribe to Cryopodbot!
...................................
(Previous Part)
(Part 001)
...
On the world of Numaria, more than half a dozen Demon Emperors and twenty Demon Dukes march through the paradise-class planet's forests as they head toward Emperor Glinch's Stitched Wasteland.
Emperor Auger does not directly join the party. He stays back at the capital of his world, viewing the happenings remotely through the power of a subordinate.
But Yardrat does lead the party. He is joined by Emperors Fae, Dagon, and Nymph, as well as Duke Hamir and several other elites of their Hell. It becomes obvious to all the other demons present that the Fourth Hell of Punishment is truly the mightiest among all the others. Even mere Dukes can explode with the power of Emperors, should Auger choose to grant them that ability.
As for the First Hell of Damnation, its remaining members are truly a miserable sight. Bael has become the lone Emperor still loyal to his Hell, while Mephisto and Zamiel no longer care about the alliances of their species. Bael is joined by Vepar, formerly the Baron of Toxicity, now having evolved to the rank of Duke through the human-demon alliance efforts.
Vepar, while not an Emperor, is still an insidious existence. Like Mephisto, she can transform her body into formless clouds of poison gas. She can strike with venom and poison alike, paralyzing her foes or corroding their nervous systems with ease.
Also notably absent is Beelzebub, due to him forcibly becoming aligned to Jason Hiro. While Beelzebub might actually prove an incredible powerhouse if he were to continue fighting for the First Hell's benefits, the problem is that none can say whether his allegiances would make him privy to spilling secrets of this operation to the humans...
From the Second Hell of Lust, not a single Duke joins the party. This Hell has already thrown their lots in with humanity, so no members of the Mephisto Extermination Operation are eager to have their secrets blabbed. Defeating Mephisto could lead to a discovery about the potential for ascension past the rank of Emperor. No demon elite wants that information to fall into the hands of their enemies.
From the Third Hell of Blood, few elites remain. Many of them were slain by the Cherubiim, reducing their Dukes to only a sliver of the other Hells. The Emperor of Thirst, Kristoff, still walks the mortal coil. He is joined by two subordinates, Vespera, the Duke of Gloom, and Rhesus, the Duke of Predation. These are the elites he considers his Hell's most capable remaining powerhouses, and the ones most suited for the mission to bring about Mephisto's end.
From the Fifth Hell of Calamity, a large number of Dukes join two Emperors, Serena and Crow, as they trail along behind the other Hells.
Unbeknownst to anyone present, Emperor Yumagi is alive and well. The only demons who observed his return were those aligned with Mephisto. Not even Gorn is aware that Yumagi survived the Cherubiim's wrath, and Yumagi is strangely keen to keep his return quiet.
As for the Sixth Hell of Isolation, only Emperor Melody has chosen to come along. The other elites of her Hell simply aren't in the right headpsace to join her, following their fall to the Plague.
Yama's Hell, the Seventh Hell of Corruption, has fallen apart with its Emperor being absorbed by Mephisto. Now, its many darkness-aligned entities have scattered in search of a figure lost to time...
Yardrat, Fae, Dagon, Nymph, Bael, Kristoff, Serena, Crow, and Melody march on the Stitched Wasteland, along with twenty Dukes. A terrifying force in any previous era, but one that feels somewhat weak and vulnerable in the months following the return of the Cherubiim, as well as the two Wordsmiths, not even mentioning the enemy they might face should they fail to stop Mephisto's ascension.
Yardrat's glum expression does nothing to uplift the moods of the others around him. As he and the other Emperors run across Numaria's surface, weaving their ways through the dense forests and trees, Bael speaks up from the back.
"Hey, Yardy! Why are we runnin' like a bunch of chumps? Just pop us over to Glinch with those fancy portals of yours!"
Yardrat shoots a glance back at Bael without slowing down. "I can't. Glinch's minions have an uncanny ability to twist the space around themselves. I couldn't create stable portals once we're inside if my life depended on it. I've no doubt he bred them for the express purpose of keeping me from spying on him."
Fae jumps over a bunch of twisted prickle-vines, scratching her palm on their thorns. "Doesn't that mean if something goes wrong, you won't be able to yank us out of the Stitched Wasteland?"
"Trust me." Yardrat mumbles, sounding more than a little depressed. "You don't want to hear my answer."
"There is no need to concern yourselves with escaping." Crow says solemnly, deftly flying through the underbrush with her blue wings. "If Mephisto ascends, it won't matter where we flee. He will be capable of hunting us like deer."
Yardrat snorts. "Speak for yourselves. I enjoy running away if it means saving my life."
"Coward." Bael says. "A REAL man always fights to the end!"
"Aren't you in a woman's body now?" Yardrat shoots back. "You're one to talk."
"H-hey! Women can be real men too!" Bael protests. "Get with the times!"
Emperor Melody laughs. "You tell him, Bael! Preach it!"
Serena remains silent, merely rolling her sightless eyes at everyone else's childish barbs.
...
Five hours pass as the demons race through Numaria's forests.
Eventually, the trees begin to thin out, before abruptly disappearing altogether. As if erased by a nuclear bomb, the forest's cover vanishes to reveal a grey-colored lifeless plain lacking all traces of warmth and life.
The Stitched Wasteland.
As soon as the demon leaders reach the edge of the wasteland, they pause their flight to stop and look around.
"Glinch's domain is bigger than you might first believe," Yardrat explains, gesturing toward the horizon. "Offhand, I believe the last time we measured the Stitched Wasteland's diameter, it was nearly 500 miles. You can't even see the other side from here because it dips below the horizon. The good news is, we only have to travel halfway into the interior, where Glinch's central laboratory resides."
Dagon, the Emperor of Pathogens, kneels down to scratch at the ashen soil. He grimaces as it clings to his palm and starts to burn his flesh.
"Acidic." Dagon mumbles.
"Every time Glinch creates a new thrall, his domain expands." Serena explains. "His toxic miasma is invisible and odorless, but it destroys plant-life and lower animals with ease. It won't have any effect on elites like us, but it's best if you don't deliberately play with the soil he's corroded."
Dagon shakes the soil off his palm, grimacing as he has to clap his hands and rub them against his pants to stop the acid from burning him further. Luckily, one of the Dukes nearby has a weak healing ability, so they're ability to fix him back up.
"What a miserable shithole." Fae groans. "I do NOT get what Glinch enjoys about living here! I'd go crazy from boredom after a week!"
Bael laughs. "No kidding, toots. Why do you think Glinch is such a wacko? He already went crazy!"
"Oh. Fair point." Fae mutters.
The Emperors and Dukes start moving toward the center of the wasteland, following Yardrat's lead. They do not run, but move at a brisk walk, keeping their eyes peeled for threats. Ten miles in the distance, they spot a pair of strange aberrant creatures standing perfectly still, looking at one another with hollow eyes, but they can't make out the details of those figures at their current distance.
"Bael, watch out!" Serena suddenly shouts, startling everyone.
Every demon elite's head snaps toward Bael's general direction just in time to see an invisible creature materializing, its massive body poised with a giant claw up in the air, ready to slash down at Bael.
The monster's huge torso and comparatively tiny head and skinny legs contrast with its wretchedly massive arms, its mottled and rotted skin, and its beady green venomous eyes.
The instant it snaps its claws down to assassinate Bael, the dumb galump accidentally trips on a rock, stumbling and avoiding the monster's attack! Bael falls face-first in the soil and the creature's downward slash swishes across his back, barely missing him by a millimeter!
"Lucky!" Yardrat exclaims, his pupils the size of pinpricks.
Crow roars in rage. She leaps toward the monster, the strange deformed horror with proportions far different from any naturally born creature in existence, and she swings her fist at its chest!
THUMP!
Crow knocks the creature down, sending it skidding backward across the dirt to lay in a heap.
But Crow doesn't celebrate. To her shock, she didn't even manage to bruise the monster, only knock it on its ass! The frighteningly durable monster silently stands up, and its body rapidly fades away as it becomes invisible.
Not once does the creature make a sound.
"Everyone watch out!" Crow shouts. "This bastard is strong! I don't even know if I hurt it!"
The heart of every demon elite skips a beat as they try to look for any signs of the monster. Only Serena, with her Soul Sensing capabilities, manages to trace its vague movement.
"Over there!" Serena says, pointing in front of Yardrat.
The monster once again becomes visible as it tries to slash Yardrat in half, but he isn't caught off-guard and leaps backward, safely avoiding it just in the nick of time.
"TEAR!" Yardrat yells, gnashing his teeth.
The Emperor of the Void tears the air in front of himself, unable to properly create a portal, but still able to momentarily rip a crack in space straight across the monster's torso.
A shallow cut on its chest is his only reward.
"Lucifer's Tits!" Bael exclaims, climbing to his feet. "This thing is as tough as demonstone!"
Melody fires off sonic blasts at the monster, punching with her fists to try and blow out its eardrums, but her attacks have no effect.
The monster continues charging at Yardrat to try and cut him to pieces. As it does, Crow once again steps up to protect Yardrat, deflecting its rending claws with her steel-like feathers while dishing out punishment with her fists. Crow is without a doubt the most physically imposting member of the party, possessing more strength than any demon in existence except for Belial.
But even she can't manage to do more than knock the monster back!
The other Emperors quickly start pitching in. Dagon summons corrosive chemicals to try and melt the monster's thick hide. Nymph summons vines from beneath its feet to wrap its legs and keep it immobile. Kristoff summons bloodied blades to cut the monster from behind, slashing its back with swords made from his own plasma. Fae fires explosive projectiles with a low yield at the monster, taking care not to accidentally hurt her allies. Melody sends sonic shockwaves into the ground, trying to soften the soil to trap the monster in quicksand.
But the monster proves more frightening than any of the Emperors imagined!
Bael and Serena can't provide much assistance to the others. They watch helplessly as Nymph's vines corrode to ash, melted by the Stitched Wasteland's ability to destroy plant-life. Fae's explosions barely even knock the monster back. Dagon might as well be shooting the monster with a squirt-gun for all the use his chemicals have. Melody can't seem to accomplish anything either!
"Shit." Bael growls. "I gotta help them."
"You don't have any magic." Serena says.
"No. But I got this." Bael says, reaching down to touch his weirdly fancy belt.
When Bael activates the Matriarch's Armor, it begins popping out of his waist and engulfing him from head to toe in lethal-looking demonstone armor. His plated chest and spiked shoulders turn Bael from a dopey looking version of Ose into a commanding and fearful warrior clad in demonic armor, making Serena gasp in surprise.
"Bael?" Serena asks, unable to see the armor, but sensing that his soul has suddenly become difficult to detect due to something shrouding his entire body. "What did you do?"
"Ose gave me some armor." Bael explains. "It ain't mine. But we'll talk 'bout it later. I gotta help the others!"
Bael doesn't hesitate. He rushes toward the monster, joining Crow as a frontline tank to try and draw the creature's attention.
Crow barely even registers Bael's new appearance, shoving any concerns about the demonstone-clad warrior to the back of her mind. All she feels is relief when the monster's brutal strikes slow down as it starts slashing at Bael as well.
THUNK! THUNK!!
The brutish monster silently whales on the others. For ten minutes, Bael and Crow take the beatings of their lives while Yardrat slowly tears its skin and cuts its bones with targeted spatial distortions. He alone manages to injure the creature the most heavily, while the other Dukes and Emperors can barely offer much assistance.
Bael grimaces as the creature grabs him by his helmet, lifts him up, and throws him like a ragdoll. Bael cries out in alarm as he goes flying and lands in the dirt, two hundred feet behind the brute.
"Spawn of a- you piece of trash! Nobody throws Bael!"
He jumps to his feet and starts to run back toward the monster, only to pause when he senses movement.
Bael quickly turns around. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees what he can only mentally describe as seventeen snakes with baby-heads crawling along the ground toward him. The snakes have a single conjoined core body that ties them all together, but it appears as flat as a pancake. Like some sort of Hydra consisting of stitched-together body parts, this multi-headed monster uses its childish faces to drag itself toward Bael at a speed most distressing, causing his butthole to pucker up.
"Eee! Gross!" Bael cries. "What in the hellhound's anus is that?!
Like the previous monster, this 'Snakedra' freak doesn't cry out or make any noises. It silently slithers toward Bael while one of its heads remains elevated to gaze directly at him.
Not wanting his friends to be overwhelmed, Bael decides to try and take the monster on by himself. His eyes fill with determination, and he conjures Mjölnir in his grasp, summoning it from his belt.
"Bad snake!" Bael barks, lunging at the monster to smash one of its heads.
SPLAT!!
Bael crushes the first head with ease!
But as he raises the hammer to strike again, the monster pounces at him! Its sixteen remaining heads bite his armor and wrap around his arms and legs, smothering him and causing him to fall backward.
"Crap, crap!" Bael yells. "Uh, don't worry guys, I've got this! Just keep killing the big one! I've got this cunt right where I want him! YEEOUCH!"
The Snakedra squeezes with all its strength, trying to burst Bael's body like a watermelon. Luckily, the demonstone only creaks a bit and doesn't fold inward, allowing Bael to survive, albeit not to do much else.
Serena, seeing that the others are too occupied to help, decides to try and assist Bael in some way. Since her abilities aren't much use against the first monster unless it turns invisible, she turns her gaze toward the Snakedra.
Emperor Serena maintains a good distance between herself and the Snakedra. She closes her eyes, focuses her mind, then shapes her right hand into a claw pose, snapping it in the Snakedra's direction.
An invisible beam of soul energy travels the gaps between dimensions, drilling into one of the Snakedra's heads. Serena focuses with all her might, attempting to try and locate the monster's soul so she can manipulate or influence it.
Unfortunately, she finds that while the creature does have a soul, it has become a mish-mash of fifty other souls, all witlessly stitched together to create an aberrant, thoughtless machine for killing.
Pain. Pain. Pain. The Snakedra thinks. Pain. Pain. Pain.
Serena grimaces. Her eyes squeeze shut even tighter as she tunes out Bael's exclamations of how 'totally okay and fine' he is. She digs deeper into the Snakedra's psyche, eventually extracting a thread of its existence for her own benefit.
Serena's eyes finally open.
While most entities possess eyes that can 'see' the physical realm, even as an imp, Serena was blind from birth. She was never able to see the world around her, but all of that changed when she met her husband, Gorn.
He and her were only Imps at the time. They became Lords together, and upon her ascension, she gained a new type of vision utterly unique to herself.
The power to see the soul realm.
While usually incapable of influencing the material realm, the soul realm is the domain Serena has become most adept at influencing over the millennia. As an Emperor, her power has become quite substantial in this regard.
Serena tears a fragment of soul energy out of the monster. It doesn't even shudder, but she doesn't care.
With her soul-seeing eyes, Serena deftly manipulates the thread of soul energy, using her fingers to hastily but efficiently craft a Soul Puppet, something not unlike a voodoo doll.
After forming a Soul Puppet in the form of the Snakedra, Serena grabs it out of the air and begins wrenching its heads around, stabbing at its body with her fingernails, and otherwise torturing the false image as much as possible.
Not once does the Snakedra cry out in pain, but its body does twitch and spasm. It writhes and squirms, continuing to hold Bael steady, but sometimes weakening its grip as it loses control of different parts of its body at random.
Meanwhile, Bael occasionally feels the wretched monster weaken its grip on him. Bael might not be the brightest bulb in the box, but as an accomplished veteran of countless wars, he is well-versed in the art of combat.
Bael isn't certain why the creature has started to spasm, but he won't turn down any good opportunity that arises.
He calls forth the power of Mjölnir, summoning lightning from above to strike the hammer. The moment before the lightning falls upon him, the creature suddenly loosens its grip, allowing Bael to swing the hammer at its central body.
BOOOM!!
A terrific blast of thunder and lightning detonates on the Snakedra, making it recoil in agony, release Bael, and pull away from him.
Abruptly dropped on his ass, Bael jumps backward, leaps to his feet, and lifts his hammer high.
"Nobody gives me a squeeze without my OK, bub!"
Bael charges at the monster. He starts smashing its heads one by one, crushing them to bloody pulps while the creature uselessly writhes on the ground, taking the abuse without retaliating.
Five minutes later, Bael slays the bastard, putting it to death for the rest of eternity.
Tired and winded, Bael gasps for air. Never has he had a fight that left him out of breath, but even with the Matriarch's Armor, Ose's body is far weaker than Bael's ever was. He severely regrets losing his invincibility.
Bael turns around and spots Serena.
"Oh! Hey, whew! I just got done kicking that monster's ass!" Bael says. "Good thing I'm such a badass, I must have intimidated it into lettin' me go, heh."
Serena opens her mouth to correct him, but thinks better.
"Right. Excellent work, Bael. You're as capable a fighter as ever."
Bael grins inside his helmet. "Heh, damn right. Now, lemme help the others finish that fat ugly one off."
Bael charges into battle, this time equipped with Mjolnir. He transforms the hammer into his favorite weapon, Big Bonk, and swings the ten ton steel ball at the brutish monster's back.
BOOM!!!
Bael flattens the creature, burying it face-first in the dirt and giving Crow an opportunity to deliver a full-power punch to the back of its head.
SPLAT!
Her fist connects, and she crushes the monster's skull, spraying its brains out all over her feet.
Crow pants like a dog on a hot summer's day. Sweat pools on Yardrat's head from the amount of focus he had to exert to kill this first monster. Even Fae and the others look a little tired.
With the crisis momentarily averted, the demon elites look around, finally noticing Bael's new getup, as well as Big Bonk pressing against the brute's back.
"Bael?" Fae asks. "Hot damn, that's a sweet set of armor!"
"You really saved our asses!" Melody adds.
Crow glances toward the other dead monster. "You killed that one? By yourself?"
Bael thumps his chest. "Couldn't have done it without Ose's fancy-shmancy armor. The ugly bugger got so scared, it just laid there and let me beat it to death! Heh!"
"It just laid there?" Crow asks, glancing around. She notices Serena, then pieces the events together. "Oh, I see. Well, god job beating it by yourself, Bael. You still know how to kick tail."
"Damn right!" Bael proclaims, smiling from ear to ear.
One by one, the other demon elites figure out Bael didn't exactly defeat the monster all by himself, but seeing as how he's been so down ever since losing his powers, they don't want to hurt his feelings.
"We've only fought two creatures so far, but they were both terrifying." Yardrat points out. "If we have to face two or even three at the same time, we might die! Everyone, proceed slowly. Do NOT rush in. We need to pick Glinch's thralls off one by one."
The other demons nod.
"Right!"
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...................................
(Previous Part)
(Part 001)
...
On the world of Numaria, more than half a dozen Demon Emperors and twenty Demon Dukes march through the paradise-class planet's forests as they head toward Emperor Glinch's Stitched Wasteland.
Emperor Auger does not directly join the party. He stays back at the capital of his world, viewing the happenings remotely through the power of a subordinate.
But Yardrat does lead the party. He is joined by Emperors Fae, Dagon, and Nymph, as well as Duke Hamir and several other elites of their Hell. It becomes obvious to all the other demons present that the Fourth Hell of Punishment is truly the mightiest among all the others. Even mere Dukes can explode with the power of Emperors, should Auger choose to grant them that ability.
As for the First Hell of Damnation, its remaining members are truly a miserable sight. Bael has become the lone Emperor still loyal to his Hell, while Mephisto and Zamiel no longer care about the alliances of their species. Bael is joined by Vepar, formerly the Baron of Toxicity, now having evolved to the rank of Duke through the human-demon alliance efforts.
Vepar, while not an Emperor, is still an insidious existence. Like Mephisto, she can transform her body into formless clouds of poison gas. She can strike with venom and poison alike, paralyzing her foes or corroding their nervous systems with ease.
Also notably absent is Beelzebub, due to him forcibly becoming aligned to Jason Hiro. While Beelzebub might actually prove an incredible powerhouse if he were to continue fighting for the First Hell's benefits, the problem is that none can say whether his allegiances would make him privy to spilling secrets of this operation to the humans...
From the Second Hell of Lust, not a single Duke joins the party. This Hell has already thrown their lots in with humanity, so no members of the Mephisto Extermination Operation are eager to have their secrets blabbed. Defeating Mephisto could lead to a discovery about the potential for ascension past the rank of Emperor. No demon elite wants that information to fall into the hands of their enemies.
From the Third Hell of Blood, few elites remain. Many of them were slain by the Cherubiim, reducing their Dukes to only a sliver of the other Hells. The Emperor of Thirst, Kristoff, still walks the mortal coil. He is joined by two subordinates, Vespera, the Duke of Gloom, and Rhesus, the Duke of Predation. These are the elites he considers his Hell's most capable remaining powerhouses, and the ones most suited for the mission to bring about Mephisto's end.
From the Fifth Hell of Calamity, a large number of Dukes join two Emperors, Serena and Crow, as they trail along behind the other Hells.
Unbeknownst to anyone present, Emperor Yumagi is alive and well. The only demons who observed his return were those aligned with Mephisto. Not even Gorn is aware that Yumagi survived the Cherubiim's wrath, and Yumagi is strangely keen to keep his return quiet.
As for the Sixth Hell of Isolation, only Emperor Melody has chosen to come along. The other elites of her Hell simply aren't in the right headpsace to join her, following their fall to the Plague.
Yama's Hell, the Seventh Hell of Corruption, has fallen apart with its Emperor being absorbed by Mephisto. Now, its many darkness-aligned entities have scattered in search of a figure lost to time...
Yardrat, Fae, Dagon, Nymph, Bael, Kristoff, Serena, Crow, and Melody march on the Stitched Wasteland, along with twenty Dukes. A terrifying force in any previous era, but one that feels somewhat weak and vulnerable in the months following the return of the Cherubiim, as well as the two Wordsmiths, not even mentioning the enemy they might face should they fail to stop Mephisto's ascension.
Yardrat's glum expression does nothing to uplift the moods of the others around him. As he and the other Emperors run across Numaria's surface, weaving their ways through the dense forests and trees, Bael speaks up from the back.
"Hey, Yardy! Why are we runnin' like a bunch of chumps? Just pop us over to Glinch with those fancy portals of yours!"
Yardrat shoots a glance back at Bael without slowing down. "I can't. Glinch's minions have an uncanny ability to twist the space around themselves. I couldn't create stable portals once we're inside if my life depended on it. I've no doubt he bred them for the express purpose of keeping me from spying on him."
Fae jumps over a bunch of twisted prickle-vines, scratching her palm on their thorns. "Doesn't that mean if something goes wrong, you won't be able to yank us out of the Stitched Wasteland?"
"Trust me." Yardrat mumbles, sounding more than a little depressed. "You don't want to hear my answer."
"There is no need to concern yourselves with escaping." Crow says solemnly, deftly flying through the underbrush with her blue wings. "If Mephisto ascends, it won't matter where we flee. He will be capable of hunting us like deer."
Yardrat snorts. "Speak for yourselves. I enjoy running away if it means saving my life."
"Coward." Bael says. "A REAL man always fights to the end!"
"Aren't you in a woman's body now?" Yardrat shoots back. "You're one to talk."
"H-hey! Women can be real men too!" Bael protests. "Get with the times!"
Emperor Melody laughs. "You tell him, Bael! Preach it!"
Serena remains silent, merely rolling her sightless eyes at everyone else's childish barbs.
...
Five hours pass as the demons race through Numaria's forests.
Eventually, the trees begin to thin out, before abruptly disappearing altogether. As if erased by a nuclear bomb, the forest's cover vanishes to reveal a grey-colored lifeless plain lacking all traces of warmth and life.
The Stitched Wasteland.
As soon as the demon leaders reach the edge of the wasteland, they pause their flight to stop and look around.
"Glinch's domain is bigger than you might first believe," Yardrat explains, gesturing toward the horizon. "Offhand, I believe the last time we measured the Stitched Wasteland's diameter, it was nearly 500 miles. You can't even see the other side from here because it dips below the horizon. The good news is, we only have to travel halfway into the interior, where Glinch's central laboratory resides."
Dagon, the Emperor of Pathogens, kneels down to scratch at the ashen soil. He grimaces as it clings to his palm and starts to burn his flesh.
"Acidic." Dagon mumbles.
"Every time Glinch creates a new thrall, his domain expands." Serena explains. "His toxic miasma is invisible and odorless, but it destroys plant-life and lower animals with ease. It won't have any effect on elites like us, but it's best if you don't deliberately play with the soil he's corroded."
Dagon shakes the soil off his palm, grimacing as he has to clap his hands and rub them against his pants to stop the acid from burning him further. Luckily, one of the Dukes nearby has a weak healing ability, so they're ability to fix him back up.
"What a miserable shithole." Fae groans. "I do NOT get what Glinch enjoys about living here! I'd go crazy from boredom after a week!"
Bael laughs. "No kidding, toots. Why do you think Glinch is such a wacko? He already went crazy!"
"Oh. Fair point." Fae mutters.
The Emperors and Dukes start moving toward the center of the wasteland, following Yardrat's lead. They do not run, but move at a brisk walk, keeping their eyes peeled for threats. Ten miles in the distance, they spot a pair of strange aberrant creatures standing perfectly still, looking at one another with hollow eyes, but they can't make out the details of those figures at their current distance.
"Bael, watch out!" Serena suddenly shouts, startling everyone.
Every demon elite's head snaps toward Bael's general direction just in time to see an invisible creature materializing, its massive body poised with a giant claw up in the air, ready to slash down at Bael.
The monster's huge torso and comparatively tiny head and skinny legs contrast with its wretchedly massive arms, its mottled and rotted skin, and its beady green venomous eyes.
The instant it snaps its claws down to assassinate Bael, the dumb galump accidentally trips on a rock, stumbling and avoiding the monster's attack! Bael falls face-first in the soil and the creature's downward slash swishes across his back, barely missing him by a millimeter!
"Lucky!" Yardrat exclaims, his pupils the size of pinpricks.
Crow roars in rage. She leaps toward the monster, the strange deformed horror with proportions far different from any naturally born creature in existence, and she swings her fist at its chest!
THUMP!
Crow knocks the creature down, sending it skidding backward across the dirt to lay in a heap.
But Crow doesn't celebrate. To her shock, she didn't even manage to bruise the monster, only knock it on its ass! The frighteningly durable monster silently stands up, and its body rapidly fades away as it becomes invisible.
Not once does the creature make a sound.
"Everyone watch out!" Crow shouts. "This bastard is strong! I don't even know if I hurt it!"
The heart of every demon elite skips a beat as they try to look for any signs of the monster. Only Serena, with her Soul Sensing capabilities, manages to trace its vague movement.
"Over there!" Serena says, pointing in front of Yardrat.
The monster once again becomes visible as it tries to slash Yardrat in half, but he isn't caught off-guard and leaps backward, safely avoiding it just in the nick of time.
"TEAR!" Yardrat yells, gnashing his teeth.
The Emperor of the Void tears the air in front of himself, unable to properly create a portal, but still able to momentarily rip a crack in space straight across the monster's torso.
A shallow cut on its chest is his only reward.
"Lucifer's Tits!" Bael exclaims, climbing to his feet. "This thing is as tough as demonstone!"
Melody fires off sonic blasts at the monster, punching with her fists to try and blow out its eardrums, but her attacks have no effect.
The monster continues charging at Yardrat to try and cut him to pieces. As it does, Crow once again steps up to protect Yardrat, deflecting its rending claws with her steel-like feathers while dishing out punishment with her fists. Crow is without a doubt the most physically imposting member of the party, possessing more strength than any demon in existence except for Belial.
But even she can't manage to do more than knock the monster back!
The other Emperors quickly start pitching in. Dagon summons corrosive chemicals to try and melt the monster's thick hide. Nymph summons vines from beneath its feet to wrap its legs and keep it immobile. Kristoff summons bloodied blades to cut the monster from behind, slashing its back with swords made from his own plasma. Fae fires explosive projectiles with a low yield at the monster, taking care not to accidentally hurt her allies. Melody sends sonic shockwaves into the ground, trying to soften the soil to trap the monster in quicksand.
But the monster proves more frightening than any of the Emperors imagined!
Bael and Serena can't provide much assistance to the others. They watch helplessly as Nymph's vines corrode to ash, melted by the Stitched Wasteland's ability to destroy plant-life. Fae's explosions barely even knock the monster back. Dagon might as well be shooting the monster with a squirt-gun for all the use his chemicals have. Melody can't seem to accomplish anything either!
"Shit." Bael growls. "I gotta help them."
"You don't have any magic." Serena says.
"No. But I got this." Bael says, reaching down to touch his weirdly fancy belt.
When Bael activates the Matriarch's Armor, it begins popping out of his waist and engulfing him from head to toe in lethal-looking demonstone armor. His plated chest and spiked shoulders turn Bael from a dopey looking version of Ose into a commanding and fearful warrior clad in demonic armor, making Serena gasp in surprise.
"Bael?" Serena asks, unable to see the armor, but sensing that his soul has suddenly become difficult to detect due to something shrouding his entire body. "What did you do?"
"Ose gave me some armor." Bael explains. "It ain't mine. But we'll talk 'bout it later. I gotta help the others!"
Bael doesn't hesitate. He rushes toward the monster, joining Crow as a frontline tank to try and draw the creature's attention.
Crow barely even registers Bael's new appearance, shoving any concerns about the demonstone-clad warrior to the back of her mind. All she feels is relief when the monster's brutal strikes slow down as it starts slashing at Bael as well.
THUNK! THUNK!!
The brutish monster silently whales on the others. For ten minutes, Bael and Crow take the beatings of their lives while Yardrat slowly tears its skin and cuts its bones with targeted spatial distortions. He alone manages to injure the creature the most heavily, while the other Dukes and Emperors can barely offer much assistance.
Bael grimaces as the creature grabs him by his helmet, lifts him up, and throws him like a ragdoll. Bael cries out in alarm as he goes flying and lands in the dirt, two hundred feet behind the brute.
"Spawn of a- you piece of trash! Nobody throws Bael!"
He jumps to his feet and starts to run back toward the monster, only to pause when he senses movement.
Bael quickly turns around. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees what he can only mentally describe as seventeen snakes with baby-heads crawling along the ground toward him. The snakes have a single conjoined core body that ties them all together, but it appears as flat as a pancake. Like some sort of Hydra consisting of stitched-together body parts, this multi-headed monster uses its childish faces to drag itself toward Bael at a speed most distressing, causing his butthole to pucker up.
"Eee! Gross!" Bael cries. "What in the hellhound's anus is that?!
Like the previous monster, this 'Snakedra' freak doesn't cry out or make any noises. It silently slithers toward Bael while one of its heads remains elevated to gaze directly at him.
Not wanting his friends to be overwhelmed, Bael decides to try and take the monster on by himself. His eyes fill with determination, and he conjures Mjölnir in his grasp, summoning it from his belt.
"Bad snake!" Bael barks, lunging at the monster to smash one of its heads.
SPLAT!!
Bael crushes the first head with ease!
But as he raises the hammer to strike again, the monster pounces at him! Its sixteen remaining heads bite his armor and wrap around his arms and legs, smothering him and causing him to fall backward.
"Crap, crap!" Bael yells. "Uh, don't worry guys, I've got this! Just keep killing the big one! I've got this cunt right where I want him! YEEOUCH!"
The Snakedra squeezes with all its strength, trying to burst Bael's body like a watermelon. Luckily, the demonstone only creaks a bit and doesn't fold inward, allowing Bael to survive, albeit not to do much else.
Serena, seeing that the others are too occupied to help, decides to try and assist Bael in some way. Since her abilities aren't much use against the first monster unless it turns invisible, she turns her gaze toward the Snakedra.
Emperor Serena maintains a good distance between herself and the Snakedra. She closes her eyes, focuses her mind, then shapes her right hand into a claw pose, snapping it in the Snakedra's direction.
An invisible beam of soul energy travels the gaps between dimensions, drilling into one of the Snakedra's heads. Serena focuses with all her might, attempting to try and locate the monster's soul so she can manipulate or influence it.
Unfortunately, she finds that while the creature does have a soul, it has become a mish-mash of fifty other souls, all witlessly stitched together to create an aberrant, thoughtless machine for killing.
Pain. Pain. Pain. The Snakedra thinks. Pain. Pain. Pain.
Serena grimaces. Her eyes squeeze shut even tighter as she tunes out Bael's exclamations of how 'totally okay and fine' he is. She digs deeper into the Snakedra's psyche, eventually extracting a thread of its existence for her own benefit.
Serena's eyes finally open.
While most entities possess eyes that can 'see' the physical realm, even as an imp, Serena was blind from birth. She was never able to see the world around her, but all of that changed when she met her husband, Gorn.
He and her were only Imps at the time. They became Lords together, and upon her ascension, she gained a new type of vision utterly unique to herself.
The power to see the soul realm.
While usually incapable of influencing the material realm, the soul realm is the domain Serena has become most adept at influencing over the millennia. As an Emperor, her power has become quite substantial in this regard.
Serena tears a fragment of soul energy out of the monster. It doesn't even shudder, but she doesn't care.
With her soul-seeing eyes, Serena deftly manipulates the thread of soul energy, using her fingers to hastily but efficiently craft a Soul Puppet, something not unlike a voodoo doll.
After forming a Soul Puppet in the form of the Snakedra, Serena grabs it out of the air and begins wrenching its heads around, stabbing at its body with her fingernails, and otherwise torturing the false image as much as possible.
Not once does the Snakedra cry out in pain, but its body does twitch and spasm. It writhes and squirms, continuing to hold Bael steady, but sometimes weakening its grip as it loses control of different parts of its body at random.
Meanwhile, Bael occasionally feels the wretched monster weaken its grip on him. Bael might not be the brightest bulb in the box, but as an accomplished veteran of countless wars, he is well-versed in the art of combat.
Bael isn't certain why the creature has started to spasm, but he won't turn down any good opportunity that arises.
He calls forth the power of Mjölnir, summoning lightning from above to strike the hammer. The moment before the lightning falls upon him, the creature suddenly loosens its grip, allowing Bael to swing the hammer at its central body.
BOOOM!!
A terrific blast of thunder and lightning detonates on the Snakedra, making it recoil in agony, release Bael, and pull away from him.
Abruptly dropped on his ass, Bael jumps backward, leaps to his feet, and lifts his hammer high.
"Nobody gives me a squeeze without my OK, bub!"
Bael charges at the monster. He starts smashing its heads one by one, crushing them to bloody pulps while the creature uselessly writhes on the ground, taking the abuse without retaliating.
Five minutes later, Bael slays the bastard, putting it to death for the rest of eternity.
Tired and winded, Bael gasps for air. Never has he had a fight that left him out of breath, but even with the Matriarch's Armor, Ose's body is far weaker than Bael's ever was. He severely regrets losing his invincibility.
Bael turns around and spots Serena.
"Oh! Hey, whew! I just got done kicking that monster's ass!" Bael says. "Good thing I'm such a badass, I must have intimidated it into lettin' me go, heh."
Serena opens her mouth to correct him, but thinks better.
"Right. Excellent work, Bael. You're as capable a fighter as ever."
Bael grins inside his helmet. "Heh, damn right. Now, lemme help the others finish that fat ugly one off."
Bael charges into battle, this time equipped with Mjolnir. He transforms the hammer into his favorite weapon, Big Bonk, and swings the ten ton steel ball at the brutish monster's back.
BOOM!!!
Bael flattens the creature, burying it face-first in the dirt and giving Crow an opportunity to deliver a full-power punch to the back of its head.
SPLAT!
Her fist connects, and she crushes the monster's skull, spraying its brains out all over her feet.
Crow pants like a dog on a hot summer's day. Sweat pools on Yardrat's head from the amount of focus he had to exert to kill this first monster. Even Fae and the others look a little tired.
With the crisis momentarily averted, the demon elites look around, finally noticing Bael's new getup, as well as Big Bonk pressing against the brute's back.
"Bael?" Fae asks. "Hot damn, that's a sweet set of armor!"
"You really saved our asses!" Melody adds.
Crow glances toward the other dead monster. "You killed that one? By yourself?"
Bael thumps his chest. "Couldn't have done it without Ose's fancy-shmancy armor. The ugly bugger got so scared, it just laid there and let me beat it to death! Heh!"
"It just laid there?" Crow asks, glancing around. She notices Serena, then pieces the events together. "Oh, I see. Well, god job beating it by yourself, Bael. You still know how to kick tail."
"Damn right!" Bael proclaims, smiling from ear to ear.
One by one, the other demon elites figure out Bael didn't exactly defeat the monster all by himself, but seeing as how he's been so down ever since losing his powers, they don't want to hurt his feelings.
"We've only fought two creatures so far, but they were both terrifying." Yardrat points out. "If we have to face two or even three at the same time, we might die! Everyone, proceed slowly. Do NOT rush in. We need to pick Glinch's thralls off one by one."
The other demons nod.
"Right!"
2023.05.29 22:04 Klokinator Cryopod Refresh 492: Glinch's Thralls
On the world of Numaria, more than half a dozen Demon Emperors and twenty Demon Dukes march through the paradise-class planet's forests as they head toward Emperor Glinch's Stitched Wasteland.
Emperor Auger does not directly join the party. He stays back at the capital of his world, viewing the happenings remotely through the power of a subordinate.
But Yardrat does lead the party. He is joined by Emperors Fae, Dagon, and Nymph, as well as Duke Hamir and several other elites of their Hell. It becomes obvious to all the other demons present that the Fourth Hell of Punishment is truly the mightiest among all the others. Even mere Dukes can explode with the power of Emperors, should Auger choose to grant them that ability.
As for the First Hell of Damnation, its remaining members are truly a miserable sight. Bael has become the lone Emperor still loyal to his Hell, while Mephisto and Zamiel no longer care about the alliances of their species. Bael is joined by Vepar, formerly the Baron of Toxicity, now having evolved to the rank of Duke through the human-demon alliance efforts.
Vepar, while not an Emperor, is still an insidious existence. Like Mephisto, she can transform her body into formless clouds of poison gas. She can strike with venom and poison alike, paralyzing her foes or corroding their nervous systems with ease.
Also notably absent is Beelzebub, due to him forcibly becoming aligned to Jason Hiro. While Beelzebub might actually prove an incredible powerhouse if he were to continue fighting for the First Hell's benefits, the problem is that none can say whether his allegiances would make him privy to spilling secrets of this operation to the humans...
From the Second Hell of Lust, not a single Duke joins the party. This Hell has already thrown their lots in with humanity, so no members of the Mephisto Extermination Operation are eager to have their secrets blabbed. Defeating Mephisto could lead to a discovery about the potential for ascension past the rank of Emperor. No demon elite wants that information to fall into the hands of their enemies.
From the Third Hell of Blood, few elites remain. Many of them were slain by the Cherubiim, reducing their Dukes to only a sliver of the other Hells. The Emperor of Thirst, Kristoff, still walks the mortal coil. He is joined by two subordinates, Vespera, the Duke of Gloom, and Rhesus, the Duke of Predation. These are the elites he considers his Hell's most capable remaining powerhouses, and the ones most suited for the mission to bring about Mephisto's end.
From the Fifth Hell of Calamity, a large number of Dukes join two Emperors, Serena and Crow, as they trail along behind the other Hells.
Unbeknownst to anyone present, Emperor Yumagi is alive and well. The only demons who observed his return were those aligned with Mephisto. Not even Gorn is aware that Yumagi survived the Cherubiim's wrath, and Yumagi is strangely keen to keep his return quiet.
As for the Sixth Hell of Isolation, only Emperor Melody has chosen to come along. The other elites of her Hell simply aren't in the right headpsace to join her, following their fall to the Plague.
Yama's Hell, the Seventh Hell of Corruption, has fallen apart with its Emperor being absorbed by Mephisto. Now, its many darkness-aligned entities have scattered in search of a figure lost to time...
Yardrat, Fae, Dagon, Nymph, Bael, Kristoff, Serena, Crow, and Melody march on the Stitched Wasteland, along with twenty Dukes. A terrifying force in any previous era, but one that feels somewhat weak and vulnerable in the months following the return of the Cherubiim, as well as the two Wordsmiths, not even mentioning the enemy they might face should they fail to stop Mephisto's ascension.
Yardrat's glum expression does nothing to uplift the moods of the others around him. As he and the other Emperors run across Numaria's surface, weaving their ways through the dense forests and trees, Bael speaks up from the back.
"Hey, Yardy! Why are we runnin' like a bunch of chumps? Just pop us over to Glinch with those fancy portals of yours!"
Yardrat shoots a glance back at Bael without slowing down. "I can't. Glinch's minions have an uncanny ability to twist the space around themselves. I couldn't create stable portals once we're inside if my life depended on it. I've no doubt he bred them for the express purpose of keeping me from spying on him."
Fae jumps over a bunch of twisted prickle-vines, scratching her palm on their thorns. "Doesn't that mean if something goes wrong, you won't be able to yank us out of the Stitched Wasteland?"
"Trust me." Yardrat mumbles, sounding more than a little depressed. "You don't want to hear my answer."
"There is no need to concern yourselves with escaping." Crow says solemnly, deftly flying through the underbrush with her blue wings. "If Mephisto ascends, it won't matter where we flee. He will be capable of hunting us like deer."
Yardrat snorts. "Speak for yourselves. I enjoy running away if it means saving my life."
"Coward." Bael says. "A REAL man always fights to the end!"
"Aren't you in a woman's body now?" Yardrat shoots back. "You're one to talk."
"H-hey! Women can be real men too!" Bael protests. "Get with the times!"
Emperor Melody laughs. "You tell him, Bael! Preach it!"
Serena remains silent, merely rolling her sightless eyes at everyone else's childish barbs.
...
Five hours pass as the demons race through Numaria's forests.
Eventually, the trees begin to thin out, before abruptly disappearing altogether. As if erased by a nuclear bomb, the forest's cover vanishes to reveal a grey-colored lifeless plain lacking all traces of warmth and life.
The Stitched Wasteland.
As soon as the demon leaders reach the edge of the wasteland, they pause their flight to stop and look around.
"Glinch's domain is bigger than you might first believe," Yardrat explains, gesturing toward the horizon. "Offhand, I believe the last time we measured the Stitched Wasteland's diameter, it was nearly 500 miles. You can't even see the other side from here because it dips below the horizon. The good news is, we only have to travel halfway into the interior, where Glinch's central laboratory resides."
Dagon, the Emperor of Pathogens, kneels down to scratch at the ashen soil. He grimaces as it clings to his palm and starts to burn his flesh.
"Acidic." Dagon mumbles.
"Every time Glinch creates a new thrall, his domain expands." Serena explains. "His toxic miasma is invisible and odorless, but it destroys plant-life and lower animals with ease. It won't have any effect on elites like us, but it's best if you don't deliberately play with the soil he's corroded."
Dagon shakes the soil off his palm, grimacing as he has to clap his hands and rub them against his pants to stop the acid from burning him further. Luckily, one of the Dukes nearby has a weak healing ability, so they're ability to fix him back up.
"What a miserable shithole." Fae groans. "I do NOT get what Glinch enjoys about living here! I'd go crazy from boredom after a week!"
Bael laughs. "No kidding, toots. Why do you think Glinch is such a wacko? He already went crazy!"
"Oh. Fair point." Fae mutters.
The Emperors and Dukes start moving toward the center of the wasteland, following Yardrat's lead. They do not run, but move at a brisk walk, keeping their eyes peeled for threats. Ten miles in the distance, they spot a pair of strange aberrant creatures standing perfectly still, looking at one another with hollow eyes, but they can't make out the details of those figures at their current distance.
"Bael, watch out!" Serena suddenly shouts, startling everyone.
Every demon elite's head snaps toward Bael's general direction just in time to see an invisible creature materializing, its massive body poised with a giant claw up in the air, ready to slash down at Bael.
The monster's huge torso and comparatively tiny head and skinny legs contrast with its wretchedly massive arms, its mottled and rotted skin, and its beady green venomous eyes.
The instant it snaps its claws down to assassinate Bael, the dumb galump accidentally trips on a rock, stumbling and avoiding the monster's attack! Bael falls face-first in the soil and the creature's downward slash swishes across his back, barely missing him by a millimeter!
"Lucky!" Yardrat exclaims, his pupils the size of pinpricks.
Crow roars in rage. She leaps toward the monster, the strange deformed horror with proportions far different from any naturally born creature in existence, and she swings her fist at its chest!
THUMP!
Crow knocks the creature down, sending it skidding backward across the dirt to lay in a heap.
But Crow doesn't celebrate. To her shock, she didn't even manage to bruise the monster, only knock it on its ass! The frighteningly durable monster silently stands up, and its body rapidly fades away as it becomes invisible.
Not once does the creature make a sound.
"Everyone watch out!" Crow shouts. "This bastard is strong! I don't even know if I hurt it!"
The heart of every demon elite skips a beat as they try to look for any signs of the monster. Only Serena, with her Soul Sensing capabilities, manages to trace its vague movement.
"Over there!" Serena says, pointing in front of Yardrat.
The monster once again becomes visible as it tries to slash Yardrat in half, but he isn't caught off-guard and leaps backward, safely avoiding it just in the nick of time.
"TEAR!" Yardrat yells, gnashing his teeth.
The Emperor of the Void tears the air in front of himself, unable to properly create a portal, but still able to momentarily rip a crack in space straight across the monster's torso.
A shallow cut on its chest is his only reward.
"Lucifer's Tits!" Bael exclaims, climbing to his feet. "This thing is as tough as demonstone!"
Melody fires off sonic blasts at the monster, punching with her fists to try and blow out its eardrums, but her attacks have no effect.
The monster continues charging at Yardrat to try and cut him to pieces. As it does, Crow once again steps up to protect Yardrat, deflecting its rending claws with her steel-like feathers while dishing out punishment with her fists. Crow is without a doubt the most physically imposting member of the party, possessing more strength than any demon in existence except for Belial.
But even she can't manage to do more than knock the monster back!
The other Emperors quickly start pitching in. Dagon summons corrosive chemicals to try and melt the monster's thick hide. Nymph summons vines from beneath its feet to wrap its legs and keep it immobile. Kristoff summons bloodied blades to cut the monster from behind, slashing its back with swords made from his own plasma. Fae fires explosive projectiles with a low yield at the monster, taking care not to accidentally hurt her allies. Melody sends sonic shockwaves into the ground, trying to soften the soil to trap the monster in quicksand.
But the monster proves more frightening than any of the Emperors imagined!
Bael and Serena can't provide much assistance to the others. They watch helplessly as Nymph's vines corrode to ash, melted by the Stitched Wasteland's ability to destroy plant-life. Fae's explosions barely even knock the monster back. Dagon might as well be shooting the monster with a squirt-gun for all the use his chemicals have. Melody can't seem to accomplish anything either!
"Shit." Bael growls. "I gotta help them."
"You don't have any magic." Serena says.
"No. But I got this." Bael says, reaching down to touch his weirdly fancy belt.
When Bael activates the Matriarch's Armor, it begins popping out of his waist and engulfing him from head to toe in lethal-looking demonstone armor. His plated chest and spiked shoulders turn Bael from a dopey looking version of Ose into a commanding and fearful warrior clad in demonic armor, making Serena gasp in surprise.
"Bael?" Serena asks, unable to see the armor, but sensing that his soul has suddenly become difficult to detect due to something shrouding his entire body. "What did you do?"
"Ose gave me some armor." Bael explains. "It ain't mine. But we'll talk 'bout it later. I gotta help the others!"
Bael doesn't hesitate. He rushes toward the monster, joining Crow as a frontline tank to try and draw the creature's attention.
Crow barely even registers Bael's new appearance, shoving any concerns about the demonstone-clad warrior to the back of her mind. All she feels is relief when the monster's brutal strikes slow down as it starts slashing at Bael as well.
THUNK! THUNK!!
The brutish monster silently whales on the others. For ten minutes, Bael and Crow take the beatings of their lives while Yardrat slowly tears its skin and cuts its bones with targeted spatial distortions. He alone manages to injure the creature the most heavily, while the other Dukes and Emperors can barely offer much assistance.
Bael grimaces as the creature grabs him by his helmet, lifts him up, and throws him like a ragdoll. Bael cries out in alarm as he goes flying and lands in the dirt, two hundred feet behind the brute.
"Spawn of a- you piece of trash! Nobody throws Bael!"
He jumps to his feet and starts to run back toward the monster, only to pause when he senses movement.
Bael quickly turns around. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees what he can only mentally describe as seventeen snakes with baby-heads crawling along the ground toward him. The snakes have a single conjoined core body that ties them all together, but it appears as flat as a pancake. Like some sort of Hydra consisting of stitched-together body parts, this multi-headed monster uses its childish faces to drag itself toward Bael at a speed most distressing, causing his butthole to pucker up.
"Eee! Gross!" Bael cries. "What in the hellhound's anus is that?!
Like the previous monster, this 'Snakedra' freak doesn't cry out or make any noises. It silently slithers toward Bael while one of its heads remains elevated to gaze directly at him.
Not wanting his friends to be overwhelmed, Bael decides to try and take the monster on by himself. His eyes fill with determination, and he conjures Mjölnir in his grasp, summoning it from his belt.
"Bad snake!" Bael barks, lunging at the monster to smash one of its heads.
SPLAT!!
Bael crushes the first head with ease!
But as he raises the hammer to strike again, the monster pounces at him! Its sixteen remaining heads bite his armor and wrap around his arms and legs, smothering him and causing him to fall backward.
"Crap, crap!" Bael yells. "Uh, don't worry guys, I've got this! Just keep killing the big one! I've got this cunt right where I want him! YEEOUCH!"
The Snakedra squeezes with all its strength, trying to burst Bael's body like a watermelon. Luckily, the demonstone only creaks a bit and doesn't fold inward, allowing Bael to survive, albeit not to do much else.
Serena, seeing that the others are too occupied to help, decides to try and assist Bael in some way. Since her abilities aren't much use against the first monster unless it turns invisible, she turns her gaze toward the Snakedra.
Emperor Serena maintains a good distance between herself and the Snakedra. She closes her eyes, focuses her mind, then shapes her right hand into a claw pose, snapping it in the Snakedra's direction.
An invisible beam of soul energy travels the gaps between dimensions, drilling into one of the Snakedra's heads. Serena focuses with all her might, attempting to try and locate the monster's soul so she can manipulate or influence it.
Unfortunately, she finds that while the creature does have a soul, it has become a mish-mash of fifty other souls, all witlessly stitched together to create an aberrant, thoughtless machine for killing.
Pain. Pain. Pain. The Snakedra thinks. Pain. Pain. Pain.
Serena grimaces. Her eyes squeeze shut even tighter as she tunes out Bael's exclamations of how 'totally okay and fine' he is. She digs deeper into the Snakedra's psyche, eventually extracting a thread of its existence for her own benefit.
Serena's eyes finally open.
While most entities possess eyes that can 'see' the physical realm, even as an imp, Serena was blind from birth. She was never able to see the world around her, but all of that changed when she met her husband, Gorn.
He and her were only Imps at the time. They became Lords together, and upon her ascension, she gained a new type of vision utterly unique to herself.
The power to see the soul realm.
While usually incapable of influencing the material realm, the soul realm is the domain Serena has become most adept at influencing over the millennia. As an Emperor, her power has become quite substantial in this regard.
Serena tears a fragment of soul energy out of the monster. It doesn't even shudder, but she doesn't care.
With her soul-seeing eyes, Serena deftly manipulates the thread of soul energy, using her fingers to hastily but efficiently craft a Soul Puppet, something not unlike a voodoo doll.
After forming a Soul Puppet in the form of the Snakedra, Serena grabs it out of the air and begins wrenching its heads around, stabbing at its body with her fingernails, and otherwise torturing the false image as much as possible.
Not once does the Snakedra cry out in pain, but its body does twitch and spasm. It writhes and squirms, continuing to hold Bael steady, but sometimes weakening its grip as it loses control of different parts of its body at random.
Meanwhile, Bael occasionally feels the wretched monster weaken its grip on him. Bael might not be the brightest bulb in the box, but as an accomplished veteran of countless wars, he is well-versed in the art of combat.
Bael isn't certain why the creature has started to spasm, but he won't turn down any good opportunity that arises.
He calls forth the power of Mjölnir, summoning lightning from above to strike the hammer. The moment before the lightning falls upon him, the creature suddenly loosens its grip, allowing Bael to swing the hammer at its central body.
BOOOM!!
A terrific blast of thunder and lightning detonates on the Snakedra, making it recoil in agony, release Bael, and pull away from him.
Abruptly dropped on his ass, Bael jumps backward, leaps to his feet, and lifts his hammer high.
"Nobody gives me a squeeze without my OK, bub!"
Bael charges at the monster. He starts smashing its heads one by one, crushing them to bloody pulps while the creature uselessly writhes on the ground, taking the abuse without retaliating.
Five minutes later, Bael slays the bastard, putting it to death for the rest of eternity.
Tired and winded, Bael gasps for air. Never has he had a fight that left him out of breath, but even with the Matriarch's Armor, Ose's body is far weaker than Bael's ever was. He severely regrets losing his invincibility.
Bael turns around and spots Serena.
"Oh! Hey, whew! I just got done kicking that monster's ass!" Bael says. "Good thing I'm such a badass, I must have intimidated it into lettin' me go, heh."
Serena opens her mouth to correct him, but thinks better.
"Right. Excellent work, Bael. You're as capable a fighter as ever."
Bael grins inside his helmet. "Heh, damn right. Now, lemme help the others finish that fat ugly one off."
Bael charges into battle, this time equipped with Mjolnir. He transforms the hammer into his favorite weapon, Big Bonk, and swings the ten ton steel ball at the brutish monster's back.
BOOM!!!
Bael flattens the creature, burying it face-first in the dirt and giving Crow an opportunity to deliver a full-power punch to the back of its head.
SPLAT!
Her fist connects, and she crushes the monster's skull, spraying its brains out all over her feet.
Crow pants like a dog on a hot summer's day. Sweat pools on Yardrat's head from the amount of focus he had to exert to kill this first monster. Even Fae and the others look a little tired.
With the crisis momentarily averted, the demon elites look around, finally noticing Bael's new getup, as well as Big Bonk pressing against the brute's back.
"Bael?" Fae asks. "Hot damn, that's a sweet set of armor!"
"You really saved our asses!" Melody adds.
Crow glances toward the other dead monster. "You killed that one? By yourself?"
Bael thumps his chest. "Couldn't have done it without Ose's fancy-shmancy armor. The ugly bugger got so scared, it just laid there and let me beat it to death! Heh!"
"It just laid there?" Crow asks, glancing around. She notices Serena, then pieces the events together. "Oh, I see. Well, god job beating it by yourself, Bael. You still know how to kick tail."
"Damn right!" Bael proclaims, smiling from ear to ear.
One by one, the other demon elites figure out Bael didn't exactly defeat the monster all by himself, but seeing as how he's been so down ever since losing his powers, they don't want to hurt his feelings.
"We've only fought two creatures so far, but they were both terrifying." Yardrat points out. "If we have to face two or even three at the same time, we might die! Everyone, proceed slowly. Do NOT rush in. We need to pick Glinch's thralls off one by one."
The other demons nod.
"Right!"
submitted by Klokinator to TheCryopodToHell [link] [comments]
Emperor Auger does not directly join the party. He stays back at the capital of his world, viewing the happenings remotely through the power of a subordinate.
But Yardrat does lead the party. He is joined by Emperors Fae, Dagon, and Nymph, as well as Duke Hamir and several other elites of their Hell. It becomes obvious to all the other demons present that the Fourth Hell of Punishment is truly the mightiest among all the others. Even mere Dukes can explode with the power of Emperors, should Auger choose to grant them that ability.
As for the First Hell of Damnation, its remaining members are truly a miserable sight. Bael has become the lone Emperor still loyal to his Hell, while Mephisto and Zamiel no longer care about the alliances of their species. Bael is joined by Vepar, formerly the Baron of Toxicity, now having evolved to the rank of Duke through the human-demon alliance efforts.
Vepar, while not an Emperor, is still an insidious existence. Like Mephisto, she can transform her body into formless clouds of poison gas. She can strike with venom and poison alike, paralyzing her foes or corroding their nervous systems with ease.
Also notably absent is Beelzebub, due to him forcibly becoming aligned to Jason Hiro. While Beelzebub might actually prove an incredible powerhouse if he were to continue fighting for the First Hell's benefits, the problem is that none can say whether his allegiances would make him privy to spilling secrets of this operation to the humans...
From the Second Hell of Lust, not a single Duke joins the party. This Hell has already thrown their lots in with humanity, so no members of the Mephisto Extermination Operation are eager to have their secrets blabbed. Defeating Mephisto could lead to a discovery about the potential for ascension past the rank of Emperor. No demon elite wants that information to fall into the hands of their enemies.
From the Third Hell of Blood, few elites remain. Many of them were slain by the Cherubiim, reducing their Dukes to only a sliver of the other Hells. The Emperor of Thirst, Kristoff, still walks the mortal coil. He is joined by two subordinates, Vespera, the Duke of Gloom, and Rhesus, the Duke of Predation. These are the elites he considers his Hell's most capable remaining powerhouses, and the ones most suited for the mission to bring about Mephisto's end.
From the Fifth Hell of Calamity, a large number of Dukes join two Emperors, Serena and Crow, as they trail along behind the other Hells.
Unbeknownst to anyone present, Emperor Yumagi is alive and well. The only demons who observed his return were those aligned with Mephisto. Not even Gorn is aware that Yumagi survived the Cherubiim's wrath, and Yumagi is strangely keen to keep his return quiet.
As for the Sixth Hell of Isolation, only Emperor Melody has chosen to come along. The other elites of her Hell simply aren't in the right headpsace to join her, following their fall to the Plague.
Yama's Hell, the Seventh Hell of Corruption, has fallen apart with its Emperor being absorbed by Mephisto. Now, its many darkness-aligned entities have scattered in search of a figure lost to time...
Yardrat, Fae, Dagon, Nymph, Bael, Kristoff, Serena, Crow, and Melody march on the Stitched Wasteland, along with twenty Dukes. A terrifying force in any previous era, but one that feels somewhat weak and vulnerable in the months following the return of the Cherubiim, as well as the two Wordsmiths, not even mentioning the enemy they might face should they fail to stop Mephisto's ascension.
Yardrat's glum expression does nothing to uplift the moods of the others around him. As he and the other Emperors run across Numaria's surface, weaving their ways through the dense forests and trees, Bael speaks up from the back.
"Hey, Yardy! Why are we runnin' like a bunch of chumps? Just pop us over to Glinch with those fancy portals of yours!"
Yardrat shoots a glance back at Bael without slowing down. "I can't. Glinch's minions have an uncanny ability to twist the space around themselves. I couldn't create stable portals once we're inside if my life depended on it. I've no doubt he bred them for the express purpose of keeping me from spying on him."
Fae jumps over a bunch of twisted prickle-vines, scratching her palm on their thorns. "Doesn't that mean if something goes wrong, you won't be able to yank us out of the Stitched Wasteland?"
"Trust me." Yardrat mumbles, sounding more than a little depressed. "You don't want to hear my answer."
"There is no need to concern yourselves with escaping." Crow says solemnly, deftly flying through the underbrush with her blue wings. "If Mephisto ascends, it won't matter where we flee. He will be capable of hunting us like deer."
Yardrat snorts. "Speak for yourselves. I enjoy running away if it means saving my life."
"Coward." Bael says. "A REAL man always fights to the end!"
"Aren't you in a woman's body now?" Yardrat shoots back. "You're one to talk."
"H-hey! Women can be real men too!" Bael protests. "Get with the times!"
Emperor Melody laughs. "You tell him, Bael! Preach it!"
Serena remains silent, merely rolling her sightless eyes at everyone else's childish barbs.
...
Five hours pass as the demons race through Numaria's forests.
Eventually, the trees begin to thin out, before abruptly disappearing altogether. As if erased by a nuclear bomb, the forest's cover vanishes to reveal a grey-colored lifeless plain lacking all traces of warmth and life.
The Stitched Wasteland.
As soon as the demon leaders reach the edge of the wasteland, they pause their flight to stop and look around.
"Glinch's domain is bigger than you might first believe," Yardrat explains, gesturing toward the horizon. "Offhand, I believe the last time we measured the Stitched Wasteland's diameter, it was nearly 500 miles. You can't even see the other side from here because it dips below the horizon. The good news is, we only have to travel halfway into the interior, where Glinch's central laboratory resides."
Dagon, the Emperor of Pathogens, kneels down to scratch at the ashen soil. He grimaces as it clings to his palm and starts to burn his flesh.
"Acidic." Dagon mumbles.
"Every time Glinch creates a new thrall, his domain expands." Serena explains. "His toxic miasma is invisible and odorless, but it destroys plant-life and lower animals with ease. It won't have any effect on elites like us, but it's best if you don't deliberately play with the soil he's corroded."
Dagon shakes the soil off his palm, grimacing as he has to clap his hands and rub them against his pants to stop the acid from burning him further. Luckily, one of the Dukes nearby has a weak healing ability, so they're ability to fix him back up.
"What a miserable shithole." Fae groans. "I do NOT get what Glinch enjoys about living here! I'd go crazy from boredom after a week!"
Bael laughs. "No kidding, toots. Why do you think Glinch is such a wacko? He already went crazy!"
"Oh. Fair point." Fae mutters.
The Emperors and Dukes start moving toward the center of the wasteland, following Yardrat's lead. They do not run, but move at a brisk walk, keeping their eyes peeled for threats. Ten miles in the distance, they spot a pair of strange aberrant creatures standing perfectly still, looking at one another with hollow eyes, but they can't make out the details of those figures at their current distance.
"Bael, watch out!" Serena suddenly shouts, startling everyone.
Every demon elite's head snaps toward Bael's general direction just in time to see an invisible creature materializing, its massive body poised with a giant claw up in the air, ready to slash down at Bael.
The monster's huge torso and comparatively tiny head and skinny legs contrast with its wretchedly massive arms, its mottled and rotted skin, and its beady green venomous eyes.
The instant it snaps its claws down to assassinate Bael, the dumb galump accidentally trips on a rock, stumbling and avoiding the monster's attack! Bael falls face-first in the soil and the creature's downward slash swishes across his back, barely missing him by a millimeter!
"Lucky!" Yardrat exclaims, his pupils the size of pinpricks.
Crow roars in rage. She leaps toward the monster, the strange deformed horror with proportions far different from any naturally born creature in existence, and she swings her fist at its chest!
THUMP!
Crow knocks the creature down, sending it skidding backward across the dirt to lay in a heap.
But Crow doesn't celebrate. To her shock, she didn't even manage to bruise the monster, only knock it on its ass! The frighteningly durable monster silently stands up, and its body rapidly fades away as it becomes invisible.
Not once does the creature make a sound.
"Everyone watch out!" Crow shouts. "This bastard is strong! I don't even know if I hurt it!"
The heart of every demon elite skips a beat as they try to look for any signs of the monster. Only Serena, with her Soul Sensing capabilities, manages to trace its vague movement.
"Over there!" Serena says, pointing in front of Yardrat.
The monster once again becomes visible as it tries to slash Yardrat in half, but he isn't caught off-guard and leaps backward, safely avoiding it just in the nick of time.
"TEAR!" Yardrat yells, gnashing his teeth.
The Emperor of the Void tears the air in front of himself, unable to properly create a portal, but still able to momentarily rip a crack in space straight across the monster's torso.
A shallow cut on its chest is his only reward.
"Lucifer's Tits!" Bael exclaims, climbing to his feet. "This thing is as tough as demonstone!"
Melody fires off sonic blasts at the monster, punching with her fists to try and blow out its eardrums, but her attacks have no effect.
The monster continues charging at Yardrat to try and cut him to pieces. As it does, Crow once again steps up to protect Yardrat, deflecting its rending claws with her steel-like feathers while dishing out punishment with her fists. Crow is without a doubt the most physically imposting member of the party, possessing more strength than any demon in existence except for Belial.
But even she can't manage to do more than knock the monster back!
The other Emperors quickly start pitching in. Dagon summons corrosive chemicals to try and melt the monster's thick hide. Nymph summons vines from beneath its feet to wrap its legs and keep it immobile. Kristoff summons bloodied blades to cut the monster from behind, slashing its back with swords made from his own plasma. Fae fires explosive projectiles with a low yield at the monster, taking care not to accidentally hurt her allies. Melody sends sonic shockwaves into the ground, trying to soften the soil to trap the monster in quicksand.
But the monster proves more frightening than any of the Emperors imagined!
Bael and Serena can't provide much assistance to the others. They watch helplessly as Nymph's vines corrode to ash, melted by the Stitched Wasteland's ability to destroy plant-life. Fae's explosions barely even knock the monster back. Dagon might as well be shooting the monster with a squirt-gun for all the use his chemicals have. Melody can't seem to accomplish anything either!
"Shit." Bael growls. "I gotta help them."
"You don't have any magic." Serena says.
"No. But I got this." Bael says, reaching down to touch his weirdly fancy belt.
When Bael activates the Matriarch's Armor, it begins popping out of his waist and engulfing him from head to toe in lethal-looking demonstone armor. His plated chest and spiked shoulders turn Bael from a dopey looking version of Ose into a commanding and fearful warrior clad in demonic armor, making Serena gasp in surprise.
"Bael?" Serena asks, unable to see the armor, but sensing that his soul has suddenly become difficult to detect due to something shrouding his entire body. "What did you do?"
"Ose gave me some armor." Bael explains. "It ain't mine. But we'll talk 'bout it later. I gotta help the others!"
Bael doesn't hesitate. He rushes toward the monster, joining Crow as a frontline tank to try and draw the creature's attention.
Crow barely even registers Bael's new appearance, shoving any concerns about the demonstone-clad warrior to the back of her mind. All she feels is relief when the monster's brutal strikes slow down as it starts slashing at Bael as well.
THUNK! THUNK!!
The brutish monster silently whales on the others. For ten minutes, Bael and Crow take the beatings of their lives while Yardrat slowly tears its skin and cuts its bones with targeted spatial distortions. He alone manages to injure the creature the most heavily, while the other Dukes and Emperors can barely offer much assistance.
Bael grimaces as the creature grabs him by his helmet, lifts him up, and throws him like a ragdoll. Bael cries out in alarm as he goes flying and lands in the dirt, two hundred feet behind the brute.
"Spawn of a- you piece of trash! Nobody throws Bael!"
He jumps to his feet and starts to run back toward the monster, only to pause when he senses movement.
Bael quickly turns around. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees what he can only mentally describe as seventeen snakes with baby-heads crawling along the ground toward him. The snakes have a single conjoined core body that ties them all together, but it appears as flat as a pancake. Like some sort of Hydra consisting of stitched-together body parts, this multi-headed monster uses its childish faces to drag itself toward Bael at a speed most distressing, causing his butthole to pucker up.
"Eee! Gross!" Bael cries. "What in the hellhound's anus is that?!
Like the previous monster, this 'Snakedra' freak doesn't cry out or make any noises. It silently slithers toward Bael while one of its heads remains elevated to gaze directly at him.
Not wanting his friends to be overwhelmed, Bael decides to try and take the monster on by himself. His eyes fill with determination, and he conjures Mjölnir in his grasp, summoning it from his belt.
"Bad snake!" Bael barks, lunging at the monster to smash one of its heads.
SPLAT!!
Bael crushes the first head with ease!
But as he raises the hammer to strike again, the monster pounces at him! Its sixteen remaining heads bite his armor and wrap around his arms and legs, smothering him and causing him to fall backward.
"Crap, crap!" Bael yells. "Uh, don't worry guys, I've got this! Just keep killing the big one! I've got this cunt right where I want him! YEEOUCH!"
The Snakedra squeezes with all its strength, trying to burst Bael's body like a watermelon. Luckily, the demonstone only creaks a bit and doesn't fold inward, allowing Bael to survive, albeit not to do much else.
Serena, seeing that the others are too occupied to help, decides to try and assist Bael in some way. Since her abilities aren't much use against the first monster unless it turns invisible, she turns her gaze toward the Snakedra.
Emperor Serena maintains a good distance between herself and the Snakedra. She closes her eyes, focuses her mind, then shapes her right hand into a claw pose, snapping it in the Snakedra's direction.
An invisible beam of soul energy travels the gaps between dimensions, drilling into one of the Snakedra's heads. Serena focuses with all her might, attempting to try and locate the monster's soul so she can manipulate or influence it.
Unfortunately, she finds that while the creature does have a soul, it has become a mish-mash of fifty other souls, all witlessly stitched together to create an aberrant, thoughtless machine for killing.
Pain. Pain. Pain. The Snakedra thinks. Pain. Pain. Pain.
Serena grimaces. Her eyes squeeze shut even tighter as she tunes out Bael's exclamations of how 'totally okay and fine' he is. She digs deeper into the Snakedra's psyche, eventually extracting a thread of its existence for her own benefit.
Serena's eyes finally open.
While most entities possess eyes that can 'see' the physical realm, even as an imp, Serena was blind from birth. She was never able to see the world around her, but all of that changed when she met her husband, Gorn.
He and her were only Imps at the time. They became Lords together, and upon her ascension, she gained a new type of vision utterly unique to herself.
The power to see the soul realm.
While usually incapable of influencing the material realm, the soul realm is the domain Serena has become most adept at influencing over the millennia. As an Emperor, her power has become quite substantial in this regard.
Serena tears a fragment of soul energy out of the monster. It doesn't even shudder, but she doesn't care.
With her soul-seeing eyes, Serena deftly manipulates the thread of soul energy, using her fingers to hastily but efficiently craft a Soul Puppet, something not unlike a voodoo doll.
After forming a Soul Puppet in the form of the Snakedra, Serena grabs it out of the air and begins wrenching its heads around, stabbing at its body with her fingernails, and otherwise torturing the false image as much as possible.
Not once does the Snakedra cry out in pain, but its body does twitch and spasm. It writhes and squirms, continuing to hold Bael steady, but sometimes weakening its grip as it loses control of different parts of its body at random.
Meanwhile, Bael occasionally feels the wretched monster weaken its grip on him. Bael might not be the brightest bulb in the box, but as an accomplished veteran of countless wars, he is well-versed in the art of combat.
Bael isn't certain why the creature has started to spasm, but he won't turn down any good opportunity that arises.
He calls forth the power of Mjölnir, summoning lightning from above to strike the hammer. The moment before the lightning falls upon him, the creature suddenly loosens its grip, allowing Bael to swing the hammer at its central body.
BOOOM!!
A terrific blast of thunder and lightning detonates on the Snakedra, making it recoil in agony, release Bael, and pull away from him.
Abruptly dropped on his ass, Bael jumps backward, leaps to his feet, and lifts his hammer high.
"Nobody gives me a squeeze without my OK, bub!"
Bael charges at the monster. He starts smashing its heads one by one, crushing them to bloody pulps while the creature uselessly writhes on the ground, taking the abuse without retaliating.
Five minutes later, Bael slays the bastard, putting it to death for the rest of eternity.
Tired and winded, Bael gasps for air. Never has he had a fight that left him out of breath, but even with the Matriarch's Armor, Ose's body is far weaker than Bael's ever was. He severely regrets losing his invincibility.
Bael turns around and spots Serena.
"Oh! Hey, whew! I just got done kicking that monster's ass!" Bael says. "Good thing I'm such a badass, I must have intimidated it into lettin' me go, heh."
Serena opens her mouth to correct him, but thinks better.
"Right. Excellent work, Bael. You're as capable a fighter as ever."
Bael grins inside his helmet. "Heh, damn right. Now, lemme help the others finish that fat ugly one off."
Bael charges into battle, this time equipped with Mjolnir. He transforms the hammer into his favorite weapon, Big Bonk, and swings the ten ton steel ball at the brutish monster's back.
BOOM!!!
Bael flattens the creature, burying it face-first in the dirt and giving Crow an opportunity to deliver a full-power punch to the back of its head.
SPLAT!
Her fist connects, and she crushes the monster's skull, spraying its brains out all over her feet.
Crow pants like a dog on a hot summer's day. Sweat pools on Yardrat's head from the amount of focus he had to exert to kill this first monster. Even Fae and the others look a little tired.
With the crisis momentarily averted, the demon elites look around, finally noticing Bael's new getup, as well as Big Bonk pressing against the brute's back.
"Bael?" Fae asks. "Hot damn, that's a sweet set of armor!"
"You really saved our asses!" Melody adds.
Crow glances toward the other dead monster. "You killed that one? By yourself?"
Bael thumps his chest. "Couldn't have done it without Ose's fancy-shmancy armor. The ugly bugger got so scared, it just laid there and let me beat it to death! Heh!"
"It just laid there?" Crow asks, glancing around. She notices Serena, then pieces the events together. "Oh, I see. Well, god job beating it by yourself, Bael. You still know how to kick tail."
"Damn right!" Bael proclaims, smiling from ear to ear.
One by one, the other demon elites figure out Bael didn't exactly defeat the monster all by himself, but seeing as how he's been so down ever since losing his powers, they don't want to hurt his feelings.
"We've only fought two creatures so far, but they were both terrifying." Yardrat points out. "If we have to face two or even three at the same time, we might die! Everyone, proceed slowly. Do NOT rush in. We need to pick Glinch's thralls off one by one."
The other demons nod.
"Right!"
2023.05.29 21:40 bimbo_wannabe_ [I Accidentally Joined The Mafia In South Brooklyn] Chapter 6: On The Organizational Habits of Unrested Spirits and The Taste of Demon's Blood, Part 2.
![[I Accidentally Joined The Mafia In South Brooklyn] Chapter 6: On The Organizational Habits of Unrested Spirits and The Taste of Demon's Blood, Part 2.](https://preview.redd.it/tg89nt4e7v2b1.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=4d6a9c29165458196f54ebd8cdd81d78f917d7d4 "[I Accidentally Joined The Mafia In South Brooklyn] Chapter 6: On The Organizational Habits of Unrested Spirits and The Taste of Demon's Blood, Part 2.") | Previous Part: https://www.reddit.com/redditserials/comments/13ux5om/i_accidentally_joined_the_mafia_in_south_brooklyn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button submitted by bimbo_wannabe_ to redditserials [link] [comments] My nerve wavered a little. "I don't really like the taste of blood, B." "It doesn't taste like blood. Everybody tastes something different. Rossi says it tastes like old wine, Jimmy tastes caramel and leather, and me? To me it… tastes like gunpowder, and the way diesel smells." I stared at the glass, then quickly tipped it into my mouth, took it down in two quick gulps, slid the mouth guard in place, at the same time sitting back against the sectional again as Becca snatched the glass from me. It burned when it touched my tongue, and for a moment I tasted rose water and cinnamon, and in the next second, I was gone. I've had a seizure once in my life, detoxing from heroin. The doctor said it was very rare, I was an unlucky fuck at best, but this? This was worse. You ever seen a video of a tetanus convulsion? How the back bends, only their head and feet are touching the ground? Well, that's exactly what happened the moment the burning settled in my stomach. My entire body locked down, it felt like my muscles themselves would break my bones. The pain overtook me and everything went black, but I soon realized I hadn't lost consciousness. No, I could see into the black. I was floating in it, naked. It was rolling like clouds of smoke, or a velvet curtain rippling in the breeze, and inside of the black, things were moving. They were just as black, slimy, slithering things. Arms and legs and spider fingers and… wings, wings like bats, but no… not just black, iridescent. I saw within them blue, purple, red. They came from the darkness and spread over me like oil. Their touch was cold, but me? The burning spread all over my body. I felt like I was on fire. I came back to the apartment a moment later, tried my best to tell my body to go with it while my muscles contracted and shook. It ended just as suddenly as it began. I felt weak, when it was over. My body hurt. I felt like I had been in a car crash. But oddly enough, some parts of me didn't hurt anymore. My limbs felt like lead as I removed the guard, but I found the strength to reach down and lift the leg of my pants. The old surgery scars on my knee were gone. The pain I had been living with for the last nineteen years was completely and suddenly absent. My arms shook as I let go of my pants leg. I couldn't find the strength to lower it back to my ankle. I touched my nose as gingerly as I could with my hand jerking. It still hurt just as badly as it had before, but the ring finger on my left hand? It was bending again. "Did it work?" I asked. Becca removed a few bits of ephemera from a mirrored tray on the coffee table, and raised it before my face. My skin was no longer swollen and bruised, my nose still bloody but no longer dripping. Beneath my fingers, the bone felt whole again. It wasn't the only thing that had changed. The creases in my forehead, the crow's feet at the corner of my eyes, the smile and frown lines around my mouth, they were all gone. My skin was as smooth as though I was a teenager again. My eyes were brighter, somehow. I had always gotten quite a lot of compliments on my green eyes, didn't think it was arrogant to recognize what others had told me, but they were different now, somehow paler yet deeper in color all at the same time. There was a new ring of yellow around the pupil that hadn't been there before. I felt with my tongue on the left side of my jaw. The molar was back, like it had never been gone. It was different, though. Still a flat chewing surface but the edges were sharp, sharp enough that I sliced the tip of my tongue running it across the surface. I tasted blood for a moment before the cut was suddenly whole again. I flexed my fingers experimentally, found the tremors were easing with every passing second and a flush was spreading across my body, both hot and cold all at once. Strength flooded my muscles, my mind was as clear as a bell, but despite all of that, I still felt a consuming weakness and exhaustion inside. I'd gotten stuck for two shifts at the grocery store once, then had a call out on the stock crew and had stayed for four hours to help them. I had worked a total of twenty hours that day, and this… felt exactly like that, exhausted and as wired as a methhead on a three day bender all at the same time. Simultaneously bone-tired and hurting but feeling like I was bulletproof. Becca was watching me with a sad grin. "Hell of a ride, huh?" I jerked my head in a nod, found I had to adjust the amount of force I put behind it because I was moving quicker than I had before. "You know, I can see why Jimmy likes it… and Rocco doesn't." "Rossi, well, how do I put this? He likes to stay in control, but he isn't a control freak. He barely even drinks… but Jimmy… he's less concerned about controlling himself and more concerned about controlling everyone else." Becca stood then, removed some alcohol wipes and a tourniquet from the tackle box, turning on the blood warmer. She hooked the first of the bags to the IV line and sat again, opening the wipe but not removing it yet. She tied the tourniquet around her arm, or, tried to. She was struggling with it. "You need some help with that?" She looked at me for a moment before she nodded. "Yeah, actually." I took the tourniquet from her, moving before her and sitting on the coffee table. "You know, as many years as I've been doing this, I still suck at it. Can't find a fucking vein for a goddamned hour at a time, blow them out everytime I turn around." I made a sound of acknowledgment as I tied the tourniquet tight around her arm. I felt with my fingers, but wasn't having much luck. A slap with the back of my hand in the dip of her elbow didn't do much more to distend the veins. The back of her hand was equally lacking in usable veins. "There's one thing about it, kid, you would have made a terrible junkie, you got shit for veins." She made a sound of frustration and tried to pull her arm away from me. "See, I told you." "Uh-uh, hold on. You can launder money in your sleep, but me? I can find a vein with my eyes closed." I felt farther up onto her forearm, then tried the back of it. I finally had luck, pressed the vein a few times to get it to stand up farther. "See, you got a good one right there." I wiped over it with the alcohol, grabbed the hypodermic and glanced up to her face. She had her eyes squeezed shut. "On three." She nodded, and I counted down, slid the needle in, then pressed the snap to leave only the cannula inside the vein, taped it down, then removed the tourniquet. "All done." I opened the tubing to allow the blood to start traveling down, and adjusted the flow regulator just a bit. "Voila." She stared at me for a long moment. "You're really good at that. You ever considered going to school? You'd make a hell of a phlebotomist." I snorted lightly. "I can see all kind of doctors in my future just itching to hire a felon into their office." "You could go work with Farid down at the free clinic. He runs the place, you know Muslims love doing charity work. They don't pay amazing, nonprofit and all, but he honestly don't give a shit who works there as long as you know what you're doing." I hummed quietly. As I watched, the color drained from her face, going from white, straight to gray. She winced, and sat back against the couch stiffly. "It hurts when it goes in the vein?" I asked the obvious. She nodded. "Burns like I shot up acid. Never gets any easier, but at least I don't get an in-game tutorial on a Grand Mal seizure, so… small blessings." "You want a drink or something, B? A snack?" She laughed weakly. "Yeah. Give me a water and some oreos. They're in the cabinet over the stove." I followed her directions and brought the bottle of water and a saucer of the cookies to her. She pulled one knee up, her bare foot balanced on the edge of the couch cushion and set the saucer on her other thigh. "Can I ask you something, Tony?" "Shoot, B." She stayed silent for a long moment. "You know, I don't want you to think I'm hitting on you but… would you… hold me?" I laughed quietly and sat down beside her, looping my arm around her shoulders and tucking her in close to my side. I laid her head against my shoulder, tucked under my jaw, and looped my other arm around the front of her shoulders, smoothing my hand over her hair. She wiggled against me just a bit, getting comfortable. "No worries at all, B. I mean, I guess you and me are literally famiglia now. And no offense, you're a good looking kid but… other than the fact you're too young for me, and you're my best friend's girl, you're not exactly my type." She snorted. "Let me guess, the gentleman prefers blondes and older women." That gave me a bit of a chuckle. "I gotta say, you got me pegged again, B." I smoothed my hand over her hair, and began humming softly and rocking gently. "No, Non Si Speri," she said, quietly. "That's funny, that's Ma's favorite song." I laughed. Goddamned patterns… "Mine, too, Miss Rebecca, mine, too." She tried her best to relax against me, but I could feel every time she stiffened and winced. Time to distract her again. "So, uh, that night, Antoni came in late, and asked you out… start from there." She adjusted her body against mine again. "Yeah, uh… he asked me if I was seeing anyone, and I asked him why he wanted to know, and he told me he didn't want to step on anyone's toes… so I told him he should be worried about stepping on my toes, cause he was talking to the Boss of me. And he laughed, and asked me if I could ask the Boss about the girl who worked the register, if she would be interested in having dinner and seeing a movie. It kind of caught me off guard. I had been fantasizing about that exact thing happening but I was scared. I told him if he was just fucking with me I'd have to ban him from the store, permanently. But he said no, he was serious… so I told him that we'd go out that Saturday to see this horror movie that had just come out and he could pick where we ate, cause I'd eat most anything, just not to take me anywhere fancy, cause I only dress up for Mass and his ass wasn't better than God." "You probably should have kept that bit to yourself, B. Bet you sealed the deal for him right then and there. He'd found his girl and she was already a Catholic, didn't even have to get her to convert." "So we… went out the next night. I worked the morning shift so I could have the night off, and I had Antoni meet me on the platform so there'd be less chance of somebody seeing. All that day at work, I started to get more and more worried. The motherfucker was literally two feet taller than me, down to the inch, but I figured that put me at a good height to suckerpunch him in his balls if he stepped out of line. I ain't exactly a slouch when it comes to self defense but when I met him that night I took my steel telescoping baton with me, just in case. I didn't have to worry. He never laid a hand on me, not once, till I touched him that way first, even if it was as simple as holding my hand, or putting his arm around me. "I mean, the man should be up for canonization… he had patience like a fucking Saint. That… that picture, on my phone, that was the first time I ever kissed him. Six weeks I made him wait. Six weeks and him taking me out every Saturday like clock work, but he never said a word, never made a pass, just waited for me." I could hear tears feathering into her voice again. "That day, I made him call off work so we could spend the day at Coney Island. Made him spend two hundred damned dollars on the fairway to win me this giant blue bear, and he lugged it around the rest of the day with this stupid grin on his face, carried it home on the fucking train. Six weeks, and me spending almost every night in his bed…" "So you two slept together before you ever 'slept together'?" I could feel her nod, more than see it. "At first, I just wanted to give him a hard time… you know, see just how much patience he really had… but, I felt safe with him, Tony, sleeping beside him was the safest I'd ever felt in my life. I didn't want to give up that feeling. If I had known how it would all end up, I wouldn't have made either of us wait that long… but… that day, right before we left, we went on the Wonder Wheel and… the fucking engine blew. There was this loud ass boom and this big ass cloud of smoke. I thought it was a fucking bomb, to be honest. We were stuck up there at the top for four solid hours while they tried to fix the engine, and when they finally gave up and called the fire department, we had to wait for a ladder truck to get there. So after the first thirty minutes had passed, I asked him if he wanted to make out, and he grinned at me and said… Absolutely." She sniffed back her tears, cleared her throat and I tucked her tiny body closer against my side. "You know, he took that picture to send to his brother. He hadn't brought his phone, so he used mine. Said Igor had been riding his ass the whole time about how I was stringing him along for the past six weeks and he was stupid enough to let me. And after that, I got a little handsy, to be honest. It was like the old saying goes, there was some Roman Hands and Russian Fingers that day. I had to put his hands where I wanted them myself, but uh… he didn't need a lot of instruction after that point. The assholes in the booth behind us kept whooping and hollering, they knew exactly what was going on but… I didn't really give a fuck. I just wanted to get a nut and give him one, too, and we had hours to kill. "We fooled around for a few more days after that, you know, exchanged some, uh, oral instruction, if you will, but… I-I was scared to death. I didn't want to admit I'd never been with a man before, so the night I decided to go all the way, I goaded Ciech into a drinking game. Drank his ass under the table, but… Antoni, that stupid fucker… he told me no. Said I was perfectly welcome to spend another night in his bed, but if I wanted more than that, then I had to come to him sober. I was so embarrassed I cussed him like a dog, in every language I knew and he just… sat there through the whole thing, never even looked up from his book, just… asked me if I was done acting like a spoiled child. So then, I started crying cause I was so angry. And then the stupid fucker told me, 'You shouldn't cry like that, it's embarassing." I snorted. "Yeah, he was a bitch about that, wasn't he? Little bit of toxic masculinity to spice things up, eh?" "So then I was doubly pissed, and I didn't talk to him for three days." She sighed. "Most miserable three days of my life. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, it was like… every cell in my body was calling for him. I finally broke down, and begged him not to say no again… and he didn't. And, Jesus Christ, I wanted it every day after that, sometimes twice a day and… he never told me no again. It took a little while to get comfortable for the two of us, but eventually we started to share some of our proclivities with each other. "Turned out he was a sadomasochist, just like me, so we uh, added some new activities in. We both got a kick out of the fact he could throw me around like a rag doll and fold me up like a pretzel, but, personally, I think he got a bigger kick out of the fact my little ass could actually hurt him if I really wanted to… and sometimes I wanted to. I'd have a bad day at work or school, and come home and take it out on him… and he loved every second of it." She sighed again. "But uh, that shit, it got us both in trouble. One night in early November, I had gotten a little rough with him. He had, you know, bruises and scratch marks and bite marks all over him. And the next day when he went to work, the heating system fucked up. It was running on high, no matter how low they put it… Antoni told me he was getting so hot his head was hurting. His Dad was up front on the counter and Toni was back there where none of the customers could see, so he thought he was safe and took his shirt off, but… his Dad came back to ask him something. "You know, I guess from the outside looking in, it kind of looked like Antoni'd gotten a hold of somebody that didn't wanna be gotten a hold of, and apparently his Dad has very strongly held convictions when it comes to rape. So he uh… jerked Antoni's ass up, pinned him against the wall and asked him what in the hell he had done. And Antoni told me he was so damned scared that all he could think to say was, 'Don't worry, it was consensual.'" I winced. "Ohhh… that is…" "Yeah, not good. So then he got his ass jumped for getting, uh, 'friendly' with somebody but not having brought me there to introduce me to the family… but, apparently he had already been planning on taking me over to Greenpoint, cause a couple of weeks before he had asked me for my measurements. Hell, I figured he wanted to buy me a catsuit to go along with the damned Dominatrix boots he bought me. He used to want me to stand on his chest, step on his hands..." "The boot worship comment makes a lot more sense now," I muttered. "What?" "I said continue your story." I raised my voice back to speaking. She sat in silence for another minute. I could practically hear her frowning, but in the end she didn't push it. "Anyway… I'd told the stupid fucker not to buy me a dress, and what did he do? Bought me a dress to meet his family in. But when I saw it, I didn't even care. It was beautiful, all these colorful, gorgeous embroidered flowers all over the skirt. There was like this flower crown that went with it, with all these ribbons hanging down. The family dinner he was planning to take me to was an informal Polish Independence Day celebration, you know, not the whole neighborhood, just the people they knew. And the dress was traditional Polish clothing. I felt so goddamned out of place wearing that thing, everybody on the train kept staring, but he was wearing funny clothes too, and this stupid little hat, so it wasn't so bad. He made me wear the damned boots with the dress, though." Laughter burst out of me. "And you know, his Dad's eyes got kind of big when he first saw me." "Probably trying to figure out how you'd torn his son's ass up so bad with as tiny as you are." "But they were nice to me, his parents and his cousins. Everybody was nice to me. And it wasn't long after that, about a month, that he asked me to marry him. I guess he was nervous too, and he got drunk hisself, and then I told him no, cause I'm a spiteful bitch. Said he was perfectly welcome to have me in his bed another night but if he wanted more, he had to come to me sober… and then I asked him where the hell the ring was, and he said he wasn't going to buy a ring if I wasn't going to say yes, and I told him I wasn't going to say yes unless I had a ring. But apparently he had bought a ring, and given it to his mother to keep." She held her left hand up to show me. It was a 3 carat Princess cut diamond with a ring of smaller diamonds around it. "It's a brand of lab grown diamonds, Mivoleti." She said quietly. "Mi vole ti, 'I want you,' in Italian. Odd that." "Yeah," she answered. "And now I can't even wear it, nobody knew we were together but his family. Come to think of it, I got no idea how I'm gonna tell Pops I'm pregnant, but, I guess at least he can't threaten to kill Antoni for deflowering his daughter, seeing as he's already dead and all." I shook my head, squeezed her tight and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "It's gonna be alright, Becca." I had no idea how it was going to be alright, but I had to say something. "Looks like it's time to switch bags." We finished the transfusion some time after that. I removed the IV but didn't bother with the gauze or tape. The hole in Becca's arm sealed shut almost immediately after I pulled the cannula from the vein. We slept. I don't remember falling asleep, but when I opened my eyes it was dark outside and the apartment was getting cold again. I tried not to wake Becca, but it was a pointless effort. She watched me bleary-eyed while I filled the heater with Kerosene again and relit it. "What time is it?" I asked in a sleep-gravelled voice. She turned her phone on and glanced at the screen. "It's 8:05. You got about two hours till you go get Ma. Go get something to wear while I wash that suit, and take a quick hot shower so you don't freeze to death." |
2023.05.29 20:43 narutardcutie I could write a book about the year I spent with my last roommate.
I (29f) was going through a really hard time in 2021 and was still living at home with my mom. My mental health was suffering and my friend (29f) and her husband (30m) offered to let me stay with them until I could get a place of my own.
I paid bills when I could and provided groceries and cooked twice a week. When I really needed to crack down on saving, they continued to let me stay there without paying. I offered to move back to my mom’s when I could no longer pay, they told me that I didn’t have to and they didn’t mind if I couldn’t pay.
Her husband worked over 40 hours a week at a heavy labor job overnight. She stayed at home. I also worked 40 hours a week. There is nothing wrong with this dynamic, until it doesn’t work.
My first week there, they received a water cut off notice. I offered to pay it. This was the first of many they would receive in the year I was there.
I realized very quickly how bad their relationship dynamic was. Her husband was not only the sole provider for the two of them, he also did ALL of the housework and chores. She spent her days playing on her phone and playing Fortnite.
They had a dog, 2 snakes, and 2 cats. I also had 2 cats while living with them. Their dog was a completely untrained and unruly pitbull. She did nothing to take care of her animals and constantly asked her husband to feed the animals, clean up after them, or take the dog for a walk.
She was so lazy that when the dog used the bathroom in the house, she would leave it there for days on end. At one point I counted 5 days that she left 3 piles of poop on the floor. I wanted to see if they would clean it up and I ended up having to do so. The house was disgusting. It reeked of animal feces and urine. It was always dirty. It was absolutely unsanitary and unhealthy for anyone to breathe in the air in that house. That’s why I was ALWAYS in my room where I knew it was clean.
Friends would come over weekly and couldn’t stand to sit on their couches because of them being dirty, the stains, and the dog and cat piss smell.
I did house chores like cooking dinner, cleaning dishes, and occasionally sweeping and mopping. And I always made sure that my room was clean and my cats area was clean and taken care of.
It got to a point where I mentioned to her that she needed to step up because I had done the dishes every day for over a week. She proceed to wake up her husband from his sleep before work and demand him to do the dishes. I could count on one hand how many times I saw her do the dishes or laundry. She always said that she wasn’t able to sweep or mop, because her back hurt. She claimed that the cats were her idea, but never cleaned up after them, scoop their litter boxes, or feed or water them. Instead of spending time with her dog, she spent the majority of the time yelling at him and screaming at him to shut up, and that he didn’t need anything. She wouldn’t take him outside or for walks because he was out of control. This gets into my next issue.
Her snakes once went over 3 months without their enclosures being cleaned. I would have done it myself if I had known how.
Their animals were not properly taken care of. I’m pretty sure her one cat was incredibly sick with some kind of chronic disease and they weren’t able to afford taking her to the vet. One day there was a discount rabies and vaccination clinic that was taking my cat to and I told them about it so they could take their dog. They claimed that they couldn’t afford a $15 rabies shot, which is state mandated in my area. Later that night, she threw a tantrum until her husband bought her a $20 stuffed animal.
There were multiple times I talk to her about getting a job. There were multiple places hiring within walking distance of the house because they only had one car. She would claim that her mental health was too bad to work and that she couldn’t do customer service because she hated people. She was always making some kind of excuse to not do anything, including housework, and actually going to work.
We would have a game night every Sunday at their house with a lot of our friends. And if she wasn’t getting enough attention, she would make some huge scene. There was one time that she claimed to hear noises that no one else could hear and say that there was a ghost in the house and she was having a panic attack. She constantly wanted people to pay attention to her or listen to her talk about herself. When she didn’t get her way, she threw a tantrum where she would pout and give everyone an attitude.
When one of us would go to her with a problem, she automatically made it about herself and how she somehow had a situation that is SO MUCH WORSE than everyone else’s. She fabricated so many stories, ones that weren’t even remotely believable, just to get attention.
She also treated her husband like absolute shit. She always belittled him and anytime he would talk about something that he was interested in, she would tell him to shut up and that no one cared. Anytime he tried to show her affection, she would push him away and shrug him off. Our friend group tried multiple times to talk to him about the behavior because we were concerned, but he just didn’t see it.
HOW can you have that much disrespect for the man who WORKS HIS ASS OFF at a job he hates so you can have a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and hot water for you to shower in? The man literally does EVERYTHING for her and she treats him like garbage. For his birthday, she used his money to buy herself an expensive purse, then called her mom to buy him an ice cream cake. He kept talking about wanting to see a movie, but she bought a purse for his birthday instead.
She never felt well until she wanted to go do something. So cleaning the house, she never felt well. But she went and spent her husbands money getting plastered at the bar and leaving the over $200 bar tabs to her friends. Needless to say, those friends aren’t friends with her anymore. She always felt well enough to go places that she wanted to go, but not take care of the house.
No one was allowed to have problems, but her.
All she cared about was how she could benefit from every situation.
She constantly tried to “one-up” everyone’s trauma. She one time told me that she “wished her dad would have just emotionally neglected her” like my dad did. Her dad never once physically abused her.
She lacked her own identity. She was what is trendy or popular at the moment. No one knows who she actually is as a person except for that she isn’t the best person. No one knows truth from lies with her. She becomes what she thinks people want her to be and it’s obnoxious. She tries to be what other people are and like what they like to try and be relatable and in all honesty, we all see right through it.
She’s always the victim. She’s toxic. She’s negative. She brings down the people around her. She is not a good person. She does nothing to better her life. She’s one of the most selfish people I’ve ever met.
Now that I’ve moved out, no one sees her husband anymore because he’s mad at all of us for not liking his wife.
submitted by narutardcutie to badroommates [link] [comments]
I paid bills when I could and provided groceries and cooked twice a week. When I really needed to crack down on saving, they continued to let me stay there without paying. I offered to move back to my mom’s when I could no longer pay, they told me that I didn’t have to and they didn’t mind if I couldn’t pay.
Her husband worked over 40 hours a week at a heavy labor job overnight. She stayed at home. I also worked 40 hours a week. There is nothing wrong with this dynamic, until it doesn’t work.
My first week there, they received a water cut off notice. I offered to pay it. This was the first of many they would receive in the year I was there.
I realized very quickly how bad their relationship dynamic was. Her husband was not only the sole provider for the two of them, he also did ALL of the housework and chores. She spent her days playing on her phone and playing Fortnite.
They had a dog, 2 snakes, and 2 cats. I also had 2 cats while living with them. Their dog was a completely untrained and unruly pitbull. She did nothing to take care of her animals and constantly asked her husband to feed the animals, clean up after them, or take the dog for a walk.
She was so lazy that when the dog used the bathroom in the house, she would leave it there for days on end. At one point I counted 5 days that she left 3 piles of poop on the floor. I wanted to see if they would clean it up and I ended up having to do so. The house was disgusting. It reeked of animal feces and urine. It was always dirty. It was absolutely unsanitary and unhealthy for anyone to breathe in the air in that house. That’s why I was ALWAYS in my room where I knew it was clean.
Friends would come over weekly and couldn’t stand to sit on their couches because of them being dirty, the stains, and the dog and cat piss smell.
I did house chores like cooking dinner, cleaning dishes, and occasionally sweeping and mopping. And I always made sure that my room was clean and my cats area was clean and taken care of.
It got to a point where I mentioned to her that she needed to step up because I had done the dishes every day for over a week. She proceed to wake up her husband from his sleep before work and demand him to do the dishes. I could count on one hand how many times I saw her do the dishes or laundry. She always said that she wasn’t able to sweep or mop, because her back hurt. She claimed that the cats were her idea, but never cleaned up after them, scoop their litter boxes, or feed or water them. Instead of spending time with her dog, she spent the majority of the time yelling at him and screaming at him to shut up, and that he didn’t need anything. She wouldn’t take him outside or for walks because he was out of control. This gets into my next issue.
Her snakes once went over 3 months without their enclosures being cleaned. I would have done it myself if I had known how.
Their animals were not properly taken care of. I’m pretty sure her one cat was incredibly sick with some kind of chronic disease and they weren’t able to afford taking her to the vet. One day there was a discount rabies and vaccination clinic that was taking my cat to and I told them about it so they could take their dog. They claimed that they couldn’t afford a $15 rabies shot, which is state mandated in my area. Later that night, she threw a tantrum until her husband bought her a $20 stuffed animal.
There were multiple times I talk to her about getting a job. There were multiple places hiring within walking distance of the house because they only had one car. She would claim that her mental health was too bad to work and that she couldn’t do customer service because she hated people. She was always making some kind of excuse to not do anything, including housework, and actually going to work.
We would have a game night every Sunday at their house with a lot of our friends. And if she wasn’t getting enough attention, she would make some huge scene. There was one time that she claimed to hear noises that no one else could hear and say that there was a ghost in the house and she was having a panic attack. She constantly wanted people to pay attention to her or listen to her talk about herself. When she didn’t get her way, she threw a tantrum where she would pout and give everyone an attitude.
When one of us would go to her with a problem, she automatically made it about herself and how she somehow had a situation that is SO MUCH WORSE than everyone else’s. She fabricated so many stories, ones that weren’t even remotely believable, just to get attention.
She also treated her husband like absolute shit. She always belittled him and anytime he would talk about something that he was interested in, she would tell him to shut up and that no one cared. Anytime he tried to show her affection, she would push him away and shrug him off. Our friend group tried multiple times to talk to him about the behavior because we were concerned, but he just didn’t see it.
HOW can you have that much disrespect for the man who WORKS HIS ASS OFF at a job he hates so you can have a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and hot water for you to shower in? The man literally does EVERYTHING for her and she treats him like garbage. For his birthday, she used his money to buy herself an expensive purse, then called her mom to buy him an ice cream cake. He kept talking about wanting to see a movie, but she bought a purse for his birthday instead.
She never felt well until she wanted to go do something. So cleaning the house, she never felt well. But she went and spent her husbands money getting plastered at the bar and leaving the over $200 bar tabs to her friends. Needless to say, those friends aren’t friends with her anymore. She always felt well enough to go places that she wanted to go, but not take care of the house.
No one was allowed to have problems, but her.
All she cared about was how she could benefit from every situation.
She constantly tried to “one-up” everyone’s trauma. She one time told me that she “wished her dad would have just emotionally neglected her” like my dad did. Her dad never once physically abused her.
She lacked her own identity. She was what is trendy or popular at the moment. No one knows who she actually is as a person except for that she isn’t the best person. No one knows truth from lies with her. She becomes what she thinks people want her to be and it’s obnoxious. She tries to be what other people are and like what they like to try and be relatable and in all honesty, we all see right through it.
She’s always the victim. She’s toxic. She’s negative. She brings down the people around her. She is not a good person. She does nothing to better her life. She’s one of the most selfish people I’ve ever met.
Now that I’ve moved out, no one sees her husband anymore because he’s mad at all of us for not liking his wife.
2023.05.29 20:23 memestar99321 Cap Behavior at Memorial day bbq??
Invited to a Memorial Day BBQ by my lady. It's her friends/friend group . I'm the plus one. I've met these folks couple times over the years, but no full on connection or similar interests. All the folks are about 7 to 10 years older than me.
So I'm chillin in the corner in a nice relaxing chair. It's florida so weather is nice hot but breezy and beautiful view. Petting the dogs and relaxing. My lady keeps lookin at me, and it's telepathic message asking me..why am I not talking or interacting or socializing??
Is it just me, but I just never feel like forcing conversation or engaging in the small talk. I just can't quite. I'm waiting on the ribs and burgers to come out lol. Capricorn behavior?? Or just me behavior?
submitted by memestar99321 to capricorns [link] [comments]
So I'm chillin in the corner in a nice relaxing chair. It's florida so weather is nice hot but breezy and beautiful view. Petting the dogs and relaxing. My lady keeps lookin at me, and it's telepathic message asking me..why am I not talking or interacting or socializing??
Is it just me, but I just never feel like forcing conversation or engaging in the small talk. I just can't quite. I'm waiting on the ribs and burgers to come out lol. Capricorn behavior?? Or just me behavior?
2023.05.29 20:15 berny1244 My new favorite munchies food
 | Sardines in olive oil on a hot dog bun, with purple onion black pepper and mustard. Its truly amazingly good submitted by berny1244 to shittyfoodporn [link] [comments] |
2023.05.29 20:09 Rude_Respond3628 (Selling) 5-29-23 HUGE LIST! 4K AND HD CODES! NEWER AND OLDER TITLES BOTH!
Preferred payment is PayPal Friends and Family! But I can also do Cashapp, Zelle, Facebook Pay, Vudu Credits, Venmo or Amazon GC if need be.
I am open to trades if I don't already own it!
Everyday discount I will take 1 dollar off every 10 spent!
3 Film Collection Kevin James (Paul Blart/Here Comes The Boom/Zookeeper) SD MA $7
3 From Hell 4K VD/IT $4
12 Rounds 2 HD MA $3
12 Years A Slave HD MA $4
13 Hours HD VD/IT $3
21 Jump Street SD MA $1.50
31 HD VD $3
101 Dalmatians 1961 HD MA $4.50 HD GP $4
101 Dalmatians 2 London Adventure HD GP $4
A Haunted House 2 HD Itunes $3
A Quiet Place HD VD/IT $3.50
Admission Itunes $3.50
Aladdin 1992 Signature Collection HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3
Aladdin 2019 4k MA $5 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2
Alex Cross HD VD/IT $3.50
Alien HD MA $2
Aliens HD MA $4.50
Aliens 3 HD MA $4.50
Alien Covenant HD MA $2
Alien Prometheus HD MA $2
Alien Resurrection HD MA $4.50
Aliens Vs Predator Requiem Itunes $4.50
Alien 6 Film Collection HD MA $18
Alice Through The Looking Glass HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Alita Battle Angel 4K MA $5
All Is Bright HD VD $4
All The Money In The World SD MA $2
Aloha HD MA $4
Alvin Chipmunks Road Chip HD MA $4
American Gangster Extended Edition 4K MA $5
American Psycho 4K VD/IT $5
American Reunion HD MA $3
American Sicario HD VD/IT $3
Amsterdam HD MA $4 HD GP $3
An American Girl Lea To The Rescue ITunes $2
Anchorman 2 HD VD/IT $2
Angel Heart 4K Vudu $5
Anna Karenina Itunes $4
Annie 2014 HD MA $4 SD MA $2
Ant-Man HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $2.50
Ant-Man And Wasp 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $2.50
Assassination Nation HD MA $3.50
Atomic Blonde HD MA $3.50
August Osage County HD MA $3.50
Avengers 4K MA $6 HD GP $4.50
Avengers Age Of Ultron 4K MA $6 HDMA/4KIT $5.50 HD GP $1.50
Avengers Endgame 4K MA $4 HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $1.50
Avengers Infinity War 4K MA $4 HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $1.50
Bad Boys HD MA $4
Bad Boys For Life HD MA $4
Bad Grandpa HD VD/IT $3.50
Bad Mom's HD MA $3.50 HD iTunes $3
Bad Words HD MA $4
Banshees Of Inisherin HD MA $5.50 HD GP $4.50
Barb And Star Go To Vista Del Mar 4K VD/IT $5
Battleship HD MA $3.50
Beauty And The Beast 2017 HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2.50
Beauty And The Beast 1991 HD GP $4
Bedknobs And Broomsticks HD MA $5 HD GP $4.50
Beethoven Treasure Tail HD MA $4
Beirut HD MA $3
Belly 4K Vudu $5
Big Hero 6 HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2.50
Black Adam HD MA $5
Black Panther 4K MA $5 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2
Black Panther Wakanda Forever HD MA $4 HD GP $2.50
Black Widow HD GP $3.50
Book Club HD VD/IT $3.50
Book Of Life HD MA $3.50
Boss Baby HD MA $4
Boss Baby 2 Film Collection HD MA $7.50
Bourne Legacy HD MA $2.50 Itunes $2
Boyhood HD VD/IT $3.50
Brian Banks HD MA $3.50
Brides Maids Itunes $3.50
BumbleBee 4K VD/IT $5 HDVD/4KIT $4
Burnt HD Vudu $4
Cake HD MA $4.50
Captain America Civil War 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Captain America First Avenger 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Captain America Winter Soldier HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Captain Marvel HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $2.50
Captain Phillips HD MA $3.50 SD MA $1.50
Carrie 2013 HD Vudu $4
Cars HD GP $4.50
Cars 3 HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $2
Christopher Robin HD GP $4
Chronicles Of Narnia Voyage Dawn Treader iTunes $4
Cinderella 1950 HD MA $5
Cinderella 2015 HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Clerks 3 HD VD/IT $4.50
Clifford 2021 HD VD/IT $3
Coco HD MA $4 HD GP $2.50
Crawl HD VD/IT $3.50
Crazy On The Outside Itunes $3
Criminal HD VD/IT $4
Cruella HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Daddys Home HD VD/IT $2.50
Dallas Buyers Club Itunes $3.50
Danny Collins HD Itunes $3
Darkest Hour HD MA $4
DC Superpets HD MA $4
Deadpool HDMA/4KIT $3
Deadpool 2 HD MA $3.50
Death On The Nile HD GP $3.50
Deepwater Horizon 4K VD/IT $5 HD VD/IT $3.50
Despicable Me 2 4K Itunes $4.50 HD MA $3
Despicable Me 3 4K MA $5.50 4K Itunes $5 HD MA $3.50
Despicable Me Minion Madness HD $5 Itunes $4.50
Detective Knight Rogue HD VD/IT $4
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Itunes $3
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Long Haul HD MA $3
Die Hard 2 Die Harder HD MA $5
Die Hard A Good Day To Die Hard HD MA $4
Die Hard Live Free Or Die Hard HD MA $4.50
Dirty Grandpa HD VD/IT $3.50
Disney Nature Born In China HD MA $4
Disney Nature Monkey Kingdom HD MA $4
Disney Nature Bears HD MA $4
Divergent HDVD/4KIT $2 SD Vudu $1
Divergent Insurgent HDVD/4KIT $2 SD Vudu $1
Django Unchained HD Vudu $4
Doctor Strange 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Doctor Strange Multiverse HD MA $4 HD GP $2
Dog HD MA $4
Dolittle HD MA $3.50
Downsizing HD VD/IT $3
Dracula Untold HD MA $3.50
Draft Day Itunes $3
Dragon Heart 3 HD MA $2.50
Dying Of The Light HD Vudu $3.50
Dumbo 2019 HD MA $3.50
El Chicano HD MA $3
Elvis HD MA $4
Elysium/District 9 Film Collection HD MA $6.50
Empire Of Light HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Empire State HD Vudu $3
Encanto HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Enders Game 4K VD $5 HD VD/IT $3.50
Epic HD MA $4.50 HD iTunes $4
Escape Plan HD Vudu $3 SD Vudu $1.50
ET Extra Terrestrial HD MA $4.50
Eternals HD GP $3
Equalizer HD MA $4
Equalizer 2 HD MA $4
Expendables 1-3 Film Collection HD Vudu $6.50
Expendables 2 HD VD/IT $2
Expendables 3 HD VD $3
Far From The Madding Crowd HD MA $4.50
Fast And Furious 1 HD MA $2.50
Fast And Furious 5 HD MA $2.50 iTunes $2 SD MA $1
Fast And Furious 6 HD MA $1
Fast And Furious 7 HD MA $1.50
Fast And Furious 8 HD MA $1
Fast And The Furious 8 Film Collection HD MA $12
Fast And The Furious 9 Film Collection HD MA $14
Fault In Our Stars HD MA $2.50
Ferdinand HD MA $4.50
Fifty Shades 6 Film Collection Unrated/Theatrical HD MA $9
Fifty Shades Darker Unrated HD MA $2.50
Fifty Shades Freed HD MA $3
Fifty Shades Of Grey Unrated 4K MA $3.50 HD MA $1.50
Finding Dory HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $1.50
Finding Nemo HD GP $4
Flight HD Itunes $3.50
Florence Foster Jenkins HD VD/IT $3.50
Fortress HD MA $4
Fox And The Hound 2 HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Free Guy HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Frozen HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $1.50
Frozen Sing Along Edition HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Frozen 2 HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $3
Fury HD MA $4
Gemini Man 4K VD/IT $4.50
Ghost In The Shell 2017 4K Vudu $4.50
Ghostbusters 1 HD MA $3.50
Ghostbusters 2 HD MA $3.50
Ghostbusters Afterlife HD MA $4
Ghostbusters Answer Call Extended/Theatrical HD MA $3.50
Ghosts Season 1 HD Vudu $5.50
GI Joe Retaliation HD VD/IT $3
Gifted HD MA $4
Girls Trip HD MA $3
Godfather 4K VD/IT $5
Godfather 2 4K VD/IT $5
Godfather 3 4K VD/IT $5
Gods Not Dead 2 HD MA $3
Goosebumps HD MA $4.50
Guardians Of The Galaxy HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $2.50
Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 2 4K MA $4.50 HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $1.50
Hacksaw Ridge HD VD/IT $3
Halloween 2018 4K MA $4.50 HD MA $3
Hannibal Season 1 Vudu $4
Hansel And Gretel Witch Hunters Unrated HD Vudu $4
Hell Or High Water 4K VD/IT $5 HD VD/IT $3
Hercules 2014 HD VD/IT $3
Here Comes The Boom SD MA $2
Hilary's America SD Vudu $2
Hillsong Let Hope Rise HD MA $1.50
Hitman Agent 47 HD MA $4
Hitman's Bodyguard HD VD/IT $2.50
Hocus Pocus HD MA $4.50 HD GP $4
Home Alone HD MA $3.50
Home Alone 2 HD MA $3.50
Hope Springs HD MA $3.50 SD MA $2
Hostiles 2018 HD VD/IT $3.50
Hot Fuzz HD MA $3.50
Hotel Mumbai HD MA $3
How The Grinch Stole Christmas 2000 4K Itunes $5 HD MA $4.50
How To Train Your Dragon 2 HD MA $4
How To Train Your Dragon 3 Film Collection HD MA $8.50
Hunger Games 4 Film Collection HD Vudu $8
Hunger Games 4K VD/IT $4.50 4K Itunes/HDVD $2.50
Hunger Games Catching Fire 4KIT/HDVD $2.50
Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 4KIT/HDVD $3
Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2 HDVD $2.50
I Can Only Imagine HD VD/IT $3.50
I Feel Pretty Itunes $3
Incarnate Itunes $3
Incredibles 2 HDMA/4KIT $5 HD GP $4
Independence Day HD MA $4
Independence Day Resurgence HD MA $4
Infinite HD VD/IT $4.50
Inside Out HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2
Instructions Not Included HD Vudu $4
Interstellar 4K Itunes $4.50 HD Vudu $3.50
Into The Woods HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Iron Man 3 4K MA $5 HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $2
Jack And Jill HD MA $4
Jack Reacher Never Go Back HD VD/IT $3.50
Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit 4K VD/IT $4.50 HD Vudu $3
James Bond Skyfall HD VD $2
Jarhead 2 HD MA $3
Jason Bourne HD MA $4
Jigsaw 4K VD/IT $4.50 HD VD/IT $3
Jobs HD MA $4
John Wick 4K Itunes $4 HD Vudu $2.50
John Wick 1 And 2 Combo HD Vudu $4
John Wick 2 4K Itunes $4 HD Vudu $2.50
John Wick 3 HDVD/4KIT $4
Jordan Peele 3 Film (Nope/Get Out/Us) HD MA $8.50
Journey To The West Conquering The Demons HD Vudu $4
Jumanji 2 Film (Welcome To The Jungle/ Next Level) HD MA $7
Jungle Book 1967 HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Jungle Cruise HD MA $4 HD GP $2
Jurassic Dominion 2 Film Theatrical/Extended HD MA $5
Jurassic Ultimate World 6 Film Collection 4K MA $17 HD MA $12
Jurassic World HD MA $1
Justice 2017 HD MA $4
Justin Bieber Never Say Never Itunes $1
Katy Perry Part Of Me HD VD/IT $3 SD VD/IT $1
Kick-Ass Itunes $3.50
Kick-Ass 2 HD MA $4
Killer Elite iTunes $3
Killing Them Softly HD VD $4
Kin HD VD/IT $3
Kingsman The Golden Circle 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $4
Kingsman The Secret Service HD MA $4
Kung Fu Panda 3 HD MA $3.50
La La Land 4K VD/IT $4.50 HD VD/IT $3
Lady And The Tramp 1955 HD MA $5.50 HD GP $4.50
Last Knights HD Vudu $4
Legend Of Hercules 4K VD/IT $5
Leprechaun 7 Film Collection HD Vudu $10
Leprechaun Origins HD VD $3
Les Miserables HD MA $3
Let Me Explain Kevin Hart Itunes $2
Let's Be Cops HD MA $3.50
Life As We Know It Itunes $3
Life Is Beautiful HD Vudu $4
Life Of Pi HD MA $3.50 HD Itunes $3
Lightyear 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Lilo And Stitch HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Lilo And Stitch 2 HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Lion HD VD $4
Lion King 1 1/2 HD MA $6
Lion King 1994 4KIT/HDMA $5 HD GP $4
Lion King 2019 HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Logan HDMA/4KIT $3.50
Lone Ranger HD GP $4
Lone Survivor HD MA $2
Longest Ride HD MA $2
Lorax 2012 HD MA $4
Lords Of Salem HD VD $4
Luca HD GP $3
Lucy HD MA $3.50 4K Itunes $4
Lyle Lyle Crocodile HD MA $4.50
Madea Big Happy Family Itunes $2
Madea Christmas HD VD $2
Madea's Witness Protection VD $2 Itunes $2
Maggie HD Vudu $3.50
Maleficent 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $3
Maleficent Mistress Of Evil HD GP $3.50
Mama Itunes $3
Marine 4 HD MA $2.50
Mary Poppins HD GP $3.50
Mary Poppins Returns 4K MA $5 HD GP $3.50
Mechanic Resurrection HD VD/IT $3
Megan Leavey HD MA $2.50
Men In Black 3 HD MA $3.50
Mickey Minnie Shorts Vol 1 HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Midnight In The Switchgrass HD Vudu $4.50
Midway 2019 4K VD/IT $5
Minions 2 Film Collection Minions/Rise Of Gru HD MA $8
Minions 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $4.50
Minions Rise Of Gru HD MA $4.50
Misconduct HD Vudu $4
Missing HD MA $4.50
Mission Impossible 4K VD/IT $5.50 HD Vudu $4.50
Mission Impossible 2 4K VD/IT $5.50
Mission Impossible 4 Ghost Protocol 4K VD/IT $4.50 HDVD/4KIT $4
Mission Impossible 5 Rogue Nation 4K VD/IT $4.50 HDVD/4KIT $4
Mission Impossible 6 Fallout 4K VD/IT $4.50 HD VD/4KIT $4
Moana 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/IT4K $4.50 HD GP $3
Monster High Freaky Fusion HD MA $2.50
Monster High Great Scarrier Reef Itunes $2.50
Monster Trucks HD VD/IT $3
Monsters University HD MA $5.50 HD GP $4.50
Morbius 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $4
Mortal Instruments City Of Bones HD MA $3.50
Mud HD VD/IT $3.50
Mulan 2 HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Mulan 2020 HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2
Mummy 3 Film Collection HD MA $10
Need For Speed HD MA $4.50
Never Rarely Sometimes Always 4K MA $5
Nightmare Before Christmas HD GP $4
Noah HD VD/IT $2.50
Nonstop HD MA $4
Norm Of The North HD VD/IT $3.50
Now You See Me HD VD/IT $2.50 SD VD/IT $1.50
Oblivion HD MA $3.50
Office Christmas Party HD VD/IT $3
Olaf Frozen Adventure HD GP $4.50
Onward HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Overdrive iTunes $2.50
Oz The Great And Powerful HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2
Pain And Gain HD VD/IT $3.50
Paranormal Activity 2 HD VD/IT $3
Paranormal Activity 3 HD VD/IT $2
Paranormal Activity 5 Marked Ones HD VD/IT $3
Parental Guidance HD MA $3
Parker SD MA $1.50
Patriots Day HD VD/IT $2.50
Peanuts The Movie HD MA $2.50
Peeples SD Vudu $1.50
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters HD MA $3
Pet Semetary 2019 HD Itunes $3
Peter Pan 1953 HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Peter Rabbit 2 Film Collection HD MA $7.50
Petes Dragon 2016 HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Pinocchio 1940 HD GP $4
Pirates Of The Caribbean DMTNT HD MA $3 HD GP $2
Pitch Perfect 4K MA $4.50 HDMA/4KIT $3
Pitch Perfect 2 4K MA $4.50 HDMA/4KIT $3
Planes HD MA $4 HD GP $2
Planet Of The Apes "Dawn" HDMA/4KIT $3.50
Planet Of The Apes "Rise" HDMA/4KIT $3.50
Planet Of The Apes "War" HDMA/4KIT $3.50
Preacher Season 1 HD Vudu $4
Prey For The Devil HDVD/4KIT $5.50
Princess And The Frog HD MA $5 HD GP $4.50
Public Enemies ITunes $3.50
Pulp Fiction HD Vudu $4.50
Punisher War Zone 4K Vudu $4.50
Queen Of Katwe HD GP $3.50
Ralph Breaks The Internet HD GP $3
Rambo 5 Film Collection HD Vudu $8.50
Rambo 4K VD/IT $4.50
Rambo 3 4K VD/IT $4.50
Rambo First Blood 4K VD/IT $4.50 HD VD/IT $3
Rambo First Blood Part 2 4K VD/IT $4.50
Rambo Last Blood 4K VD/IT $4.50
Raya HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Reclaim HD Vudu $4
Red 2 HD VD/IT $2
Redemption HD VD $3
Rescuers HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Rescuers Down Under HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Resident Evil Retribution SD MA $2
Ricki And The Flash HD MA $3.50
Ride Along iTunes $2.50
Ride Along 2 HD MA $3
Rio Itunes $2.50
Robin Hood 2018 4K VD/IT $4.50 HD VD/IT $3.50
Robin Hood Disney 1973 HD MA $5 HD GP $4.50
Robocop 2014 HD VD $3.50
Rocketman 4K VD/IT $5
Rocky HD VD $3
Rons Gone Wrong HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2
Rough Cut HD Itunes $3.50
Rush 2013 HD MA $3.50
Saban's Power Rangers 4K VD/IT $5.50 HD VD/IT $3
Safe HD VD/IT $3
Safe Haven iTunes $3.50
Safe House HD MA $3.50 Itunes $3
Same Kind Of Different As Me HD VD/IT $3.50
Samson HD MA $3.50
Saw Complete Film Collection SD Vudu $9
Scary Stories To Tell In Dark 4K MA $4.50 HD VD/IT $3.50
Seal Team 8 Behind Enemy Lines HD MA $3
Selma HD VD/IT $3
Shang Chi HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3
Shark Tale HD MA $4.50
Shaun The Sheep Movie HD Vudu $3.50
Sicario HD Vudu $3
Silent Night Deadly Night 3 Film Collection HD Vudu $6
Sing HDMA/4KiT $4
Sing 2 HD MA $5
Sisters Unrated Itunes $3.50
Skyscraper 4K MA $5 HD MA $3
Sleeping Beauty HD MA $4.50 HD GP $4
Smurfs The Lost Village HD MA $4.50
Snitch HD VD/IT $3.50
Snow White And The Huntsman HD MA $3.50
Snow White And The Seven Dwarves HD GP $4
Sony Movie Buff Pass HD/4K MA $4
Soul HD GP $3
Southpaw HD VD $3.50
Spider-man Amazing Spider-Man HD MA $3.50 SD MA $1.50
Spider-man Amazing Spider-Man 2 HD MA $3.50 SD MA $1.50
Spider-man Far From Home HD MA $3.50
Spider-man Homecoming 4K MA $5 HD MA $2
Spider-man No Way Home HD MA $4
Spider-Man Tobey HD MA $3.50
Spider-Man 2 Tobey 2 Film Collection Theatrical/Extended HD MA $4.50
Spider-Man 3 Tobey HD MA $4.50
Spies In Disguise HD GP $3
Spontaneous VD/IT $3.50
Stand Up Guys HD VD $3
Star Trek The Original Motion Picture 4K VD/IT $4.50
Star Trek 3 Search For Spock 4K VD/IT $4.50
Star Trek 4 Voyage Home 4K VD/IT $4.50
Star Trek 2009 4K Itunes $4.50 HD Vudu $2.50
Star Trek Beyond 4K VD/IT $5 HD Vudu $2.50
Star Trek Into Darkness 4K Itunes $3.50 HD Vudu $1.50
Star Wars Rogue One HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Star Wars Solo HD GP $3.50
Star Wars Ep 4 A New Hope HD GP $4.50
Star Wars Ep 5 Empire Strike Back HD GP $4.50
Star Wars Ep 6 Return Of The Jedi HD GP $4.50
Star Wars Ep 7 Force Awaken 4K MA $4.50 HDMA/4KIT $2 HD GP $1
Star Wars Ep 8 The Last Jedi 4K MA $4.50 HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $1.50
Star Wars Ep 9 Rise Skywalker HD GP $2.50
Strange World HD MA $5
Strawberry Shortcake Fun Under the Sun HD MA $3
Suburbicon HD VD/IT $3
Super 8 HD VD/IT $3.50
Superfly HD MA $3
Superman/Batman Apocalypse Itunes $3.50
Survive The Night HD VD/IT $3.50
Taken 2 HD MA $3 HD iTunes $2
Ted Unrated HD MA $2 Itunes $1.50
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 HD VD/IT $3
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Out Shadows HD VD/IT $3.50
Terminator Dark Fate HD VD/IT $3
Terminator Genesis HD VD/IT $3.50
The Adventures Of Tin Tin SD Vudu $2
The Art Of Self Defense HD MA $3
The BFG HD GP $3
The Boy HD MA $4 Itunes $3.50
The Cabin In The Woods 4K VD/IT $5 HD VD/IT $3.50
The Croods HD MA $4
The D Train HD VD/IT $3.50
The Day The Earth Stood Still 2008 Itunes $3.50
The Dentist Collection HD Vudu $5
The Duff HD VD/IT $3
The Emoji Movie HD MA $3
The Family iTunes $3.50
The Five Year Engagement iTunes $3.50
The Forbidden Kingdom HD Vudu $4
The Girl On The Train HD MA $2.50
The Good Dinosaur HD MA $4.50
The Greatest Showman HD MA $3.50
The Gunman HD MA $3.50
The Heat HD MA $3
The Hunt For Red October 4K VD/IT $5
The Impossible HD Vudu $4
The Internship HD MA $3.50
The Iron Lady HD VD $3.50
The Last Witch Hunter HD Itunes $3.50
The Legend Of Hercules HD VD/IT $3
The Lucky One HD MA $2.50
The Marksman HD MA $4.50
The Menu HD GP $4
The Nut Job HD MA $3 Itunes $2.50
The Nut Job 2 Itunes $3.50
The Perks Of Being A Wallflower HD VD/IT $3.50
The Possession HD VD/IT $3.50
The Protege HD VD/IT $4
The Purge HD MA $1.50 4K Itunes $3
The Purge Anarchy HD MA $3
The Raven Itunes $3.50
The Requin HD Vudu $4.50
The Santa Clause 4K IT/HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3
The Santa Clause 2 4K IT/HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3
The Santa Clause 3 4K IT/HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3
The Secret Garden 2020 Itunes $4
The Secret Life Of Pets HD MA $3
The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty HD MA $4
The Shack HD VD/IT $3.50
The Spirit iTunes $3.50
The Spy Who Dumped Me HD VD/IT $4
The Sword In The Stone HD MA $5 HD GP $4
The Time Travelers Wife SD MA $1.50
The Vanishing HD VD $3.50
The Vow SD MA $1.50
The Warlords HD VD $3.50
The Warriors Way iTunes $3.50
The Wedding Ringer HD MA $3.50
The Wolf On Wall Street HD VD/IT $3.50
The Woman In Black SD MA $1.50
Think Like A Man HD MA $3
Thor 4K MA $5.50 HD GP $4
Thor Dark World 4K MA $5.50 HD GP $3
Thor Love And Thunder HD MA $4 HD GP $2.50
Thor Ragnarok 4K MA $5 4KIT/HDMA $3 HD GP $1
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri HD MA $4
Tinkerbell NeverBeast HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Tinkerbell Pirate Fairy HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Tinkerbell Fairy Pixie Hollow Games HD MA $4
Top Gun HD VD/4KIT $4.50
Total Recall 1990 4K VD/IT $5
Tower Heist Itunes $3.50
Toy Story HDMA/4KIT $6 HD GP $4
Toy Story 4 4KIT/HDMA $4.50 HD GP $2.50
Toy Story Of Terror HD MA $4.50
Toy Story That Time Forgot HD MA $4.50
Transformers 4K VS/IT $5.50
Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen 4K VD/IT $5.50
Transformers Age Extinction 4K VD/IT $4.50 HDVD $3.50
Transformers Dark Of The Moon 4K VD/IT $4.50 HDVD $3.50
Transformers The Last Knight 4K VD/IT $4.50 HDVD $3.50
Trauma Center HD VD/IT $3
Trolls HD MA $4
Turbo HD MA $3.50
Turning Red 4K MA $5 HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 HD VD/IT $1
Underworld Awakening HD MA $3
Underworld Blood Wars HD MA $3.50
Universal 1200 Reward Points Codes "1 for $3 or 2 for $5"
Universal Rewards Monthly Movies You Pick HD/4K MA "1 for $3 or 2 for $5"
Unknown iTunes $3
Van Wilder 4K Vudu $5
Venom HD MA $3
Walking Dead Season 11 HD Vudu $6
Walking With Dinosaurs HD iTunes $3
Wanted SD Itunes $1.50
War Room HD MA $3.50 SD MA $1.50
Warcraft HD MA $2.50
Warhunt 4K Vudu $5
Warm Bodies HD Vudu $3.50
Warrior Itunes $3.50
West Side Story 2021 HD MA $4 HD GP $3
When The Game Stands Tall HD MA $2.50 SD MA $1.50
Where The Crawdads Sing HD MA $5
White House Down SD MA $2
Winnie Pooh Many Adventures HD MA $5
Winnie Pooh Springtime With Roo HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Winnie Pooh A Very Merry Pooh Year HD MA $4.50
Wonder HD VD/IT $3
Wonder Park HD VD/IT $3
World War Z HD VD/IT $3.50
Wreck It Ralph HD GP $4.50
X-Men Apocalypse HDMA/4KIT $4
X-Men Dark Phoenix HD MA $5
X-Men Days Of Future Past HDMA/4KIT $4
X-Men Wolverine 2013 HD MA $3.50 Itunes 3.50
XXX Return Of Xander Cage 4K IT $4.50 HD VD/IT $3
Zero Dark Thirty HD VD $3.50
Zootopia HD GP $3
submitted by Rude_Respond3628 to DigitalCodeSELL [link] [comments]
I am open to trades if I don't already own it!
Everyday discount I will take 1 dollar off every 10 spent!
3 Film Collection Kevin James (Paul Blart/Here Comes The Boom/Zookeeper) SD MA $7
3 From Hell 4K VD/IT $4
12 Rounds 2 HD MA $3
12 Years A Slave HD MA $4
13 Hours HD VD/IT $3
21 Jump Street SD MA $1.50
31 HD VD $3
101 Dalmatians 1961 HD MA $4.50 HD GP $4
101 Dalmatians 2 London Adventure HD GP $4
A Haunted House 2 HD Itunes $3
A Quiet Place HD VD/IT $3.50
Admission Itunes $3.50
Aladdin 1992 Signature Collection HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3
Aladdin 2019 4k MA $5 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2
Alex Cross HD VD/IT $3.50
Alien HD MA $2
Aliens HD MA $4.50
Aliens 3 HD MA $4.50
Alien Covenant HD MA $2
Alien Prometheus HD MA $2
Alien Resurrection HD MA $4.50
Aliens Vs Predator Requiem Itunes $4.50
Alien 6 Film Collection HD MA $18
Alice Through The Looking Glass HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Alita Battle Angel 4K MA $5
All Is Bright HD VD $4
All The Money In The World SD MA $2
Aloha HD MA $4
Alvin Chipmunks Road Chip HD MA $4
American Gangster Extended Edition 4K MA $5
American Psycho 4K VD/IT $5
American Reunion HD MA $3
American Sicario HD VD/IT $3
Amsterdam HD MA $4 HD GP $3
An American Girl Lea To The Rescue ITunes $2
Anchorman 2 HD VD/IT $2
Angel Heart 4K Vudu $5
Anna Karenina Itunes $4
Annie 2014 HD MA $4 SD MA $2
Ant-Man HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $2.50
Ant-Man And Wasp 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $2.50
Assassination Nation HD MA $3.50
Atomic Blonde HD MA $3.50
August Osage County HD MA $3.50
Avengers 4K MA $6 HD GP $4.50
Avengers Age Of Ultron 4K MA $6 HDMA/4KIT $5.50 HD GP $1.50
Avengers Endgame 4K MA $4 HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $1.50
Avengers Infinity War 4K MA $4 HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $1.50
Bad Boys HD MA $4
Bad Boys For Life HD MA $4
Bad Grandpa HD VD/IT $3.50
Bad Mom's HD MA $3.50 HD iTunes $3
Bad Words HD MA $4
Banshees Of Inisherin HD MA $5.50 HD GP $4.50
Barb And Star Go To Vista Del Mar 4K VD/IT $5
Battleship HD MA $3.50
Beauty And The Beast 2017 HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2.50
Beauty And The Beast 1991 HD GP $4
Bedknobs And Broomsticks HD MA $5 HD GP $4.50
Beethoven Treasure Tail HD MA $4
Beirut HD MA $3
Belly 4K Vudu $5
Big Hero 6 HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2.50
Black Adam HD MA $5
Black Panther 4K MA $5 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2
Black Panther Wakanda Forever HD MA $4 HD GP $2.50
Black Widow HD GP $3.50
Book Club HD VD/IT $3.50
Book Of Life HD MA $3.50
Boss Baby HD MA $4
Boss Baby 2 Film Collection HD MA $7.50
Bourne Legacy HD MA $2.50 Itunes $2
Boyhood HD VD/IT $3.50
Brian Banks HD MA $3.50
Brides Maids Itunes $3.50
BumbleBee 4K VD/IT $5 HDVD/4KIT $4
Burnt HD Vudu $4
Cake HD MA $4.50
Captain America Civil War 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Captain America First Avenger 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Captain America Winter Soldier HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Captain Marvel HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $2.50
Captain Phillips HD MA $3.50 SD MA $1.50
Carrie 2013 HD Vudu $4
Cars HD GP $4.50
Cars 3 HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $2
Christopher Robin HD GP $4
Chronicles Of Narnia Voyage Dawn Treader iTunes $4
Cinderella 1950 HD MA $5
Cinderella 2015 HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Clerks 3 HD VD/IT $4.50
Clifford 2021 HD VD/IT $3
Coco HD MA $4 HD GP $2.50
Crawl HD VD/IT $3.50
Crazy On The Outside Itunes $3
Criminal HD VD/IT $4
Cruella HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Daddys Home HD VD/IT $2.50
Dallas Buyers Club Itunes $3.50
Danny Collins HD Itunes $3
Darkest Hour HD MA $4
DC Superpets HD MA $4
Deadpool HDMA/4KIT $3
Deadpool 2 HD MA $3.50
Death On The Nile HD GP $3.50
Deepwater Horizon 4K VD/IT $5 HD VD/IT $3.50
Despicable Me 2 4K Itunes $4.50 HD MA $3
Despicable Me 3 4K MA $5.50 4K Itunes $5 HD MA $3.50
Despicable Me Minion Madness HD $5 Itunes $4.50
Detective Knight Rogue HD VD/IT $4
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Itunes $3
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Long Haul HD MA $3
Die Hard 2 Die Harder HD MA $5
Die Hard A Good Day To Die Hard HD MA $4
Die Hard Live Free Or Die Hard HD MA $4.50
Dirty Grandpa HD VD/IT $3.50
Disney Nature Born In China HD MA $4
Disney Nature Monkey Kingdom HD MA $4
Disney Nature Bears HD MA $4
Divergent HDVD/4KIT $2 SD Vudu $1
Divergent Insurgent HDVD/4KIT $2 SD Vudu $1
Django Unchained HD Vudu $4
Doctor Strange 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Doctor Strange Multiverse HD MA $4 HD GP $2
Dog HD MA $4
Dolittle HD MA $3.50
Downsizing HD VD/IT $3
Dracula Untold HD MA $3.50
Draft Day Itunes $3
Dragon Heart 3 HD MA $2.50
Dying Of The Light HD Vudu $3.50
Dumbo 2019 HD MA $3.50
El Chicano HD MA $3
Elvis HD MA $4
Elysium/District 9 Film Collection HD MA $6.50
Empire Of Light HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Empire State HD Vudu $3
Encanto HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Enders Game 4K VD $5 HD VD/IT $3.50
Epic HD MA $4.50 HD iTunes $4
Escape Plan HD Vudu $3 SD Vudu $1.50
ET Extra Terrestrial HD MA $4.50
Eternals HD GP $3
Equalizer HD MA $4
Equalizer 2 HD MA $4
Expendables 1-3 Film Collection HD Vudu $6.50
Expendables 2 HD VD/IT $2
Expendables 3 HD VD $3
Far From The Madding Crowd HD MA $4.50
Fast And Furious 1 HD MA $2.50
Fast And Furious 5 HD MA $2.50 iTunes $2 SD MA $1
Fast And Furious 6 HD MA $1
Fast And Furious 7 HD MA $1.50
Fast And Furious 8 HD MA $1
Fast And The Furious 8 Film Collection HD MA $12
Fast And The Furious 9 Film Collection HD MA $14
Fault In Our Stars HD MA $2.50
Ferdinand HD MA $4.50
Fifty Shades 6 Film Collection Unrated/Theatrical HD MA $9
Fifty Shades Darker Unrated HD MA $2.50
Fifty Shades Freed HD MA $3
Fifty Shades Of Grey Unrated 4K MA $3.50 HD MA $1.50
Finding Dory HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $1.50
Finding Nemo HD GP $4
Flight HD Itunes $3.50
Florence Foster Jenkins HD VD/IT $3.50
Fortress HD MA $4
Fox And The Hound 2 HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Free Guy HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Frozen HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $1.50
Frozen Sing Along Edition HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Frozen 2 HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $3
Fury HD MA $4
Gemini Man 4K VD/IT $4.50
Ghost In The Shell 2017 4K Vudu $4.50
Ghostbusters 1 HD MA $3.50
Ghostbusters 2 HD MA $3.50
Ghostbusters Afterlife HD MA $4
Ghostbusters Answer Call Extended/Theatrical HD MA $3.50
Ghosts Season 1 HD Vudu $5.50
GI Joe Retaliation HD VD/IT $3
Gifted HD MA $4
Girls Trip HD MA $3
Godfather 4K VD/IT $5
Godfather 2 4K VD/IT $5
Godfather 3 4K VD/IT $5
Gods Not Dead 2 HD MA $3
Goosebumps HD MA $4.50
Guardians Of The Galaxy HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $2.50
Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 2 4K MA $4.50 HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $1.50
Hacksaw Ridge HD VD/IT $3
Halloween 2018 4K MA $4.50 HD MA $3
Hannibal Season 1 Vudu $4
Hansel And Gretel Witch Hunters Unrated HD Vudu $4
Hell Or High Water 4K VD/IT $5 HD VD/IT $3
Hercules 2014 HD VD/IT $3
Here Comes The Boom SD MA $2
Hilary's America SD Vudu $2
Hillsong Let Hope Rise HD MA $1.50
Hitman Agent 47 HD MA $4
Hitman's Bodyguard HD VD/IT $2.50
Hocus Pocus HD MA $4.50 HD GP $4
Home Alone HD MA $3.50
Home Alone 2 HD MA $3.50
Hope Springs HD MA $3.50 SD MA $2
Hostiles 2018 HD VD/IT $3.50
Hot Fuzz HD MA $3.50
Hotel Mumbai HD MA $3
How The Grinch Stole Christmas 2000 4K Itunes $5 HD MA $4.50
How To Train Your Dragon 2 HD MA $4
How To Train Your Dragon 3 Film Collection HD MA $8.50
Hunger Games 4 Film Collection HD Vudu $8
Hunger Games 4K VD/IT $4.50 4K Itunes/HDVD $2.50
Hunger Games Catching Fire 4KIT/HDVD $2.50
Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 4KIT/HDVD $3
Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2 HDVD $2.50
I Can Only Imagine HD VD/IT $3.50
I Feel Pretty Itunes $3
Incarnate Itunes $3
Incredibles 2 HDMA/4KIT $5 HD GP $4
Independence Day HD MA $4
Independence Day Resurgence HD MA $4
Infinite HD VD/IT $4.50
Inside Out HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2
Instructions Not Included HD Vudu $4
Interstellar 4K Itunes $4.50 HD Vudu $3.50
Into The Woods HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Iron Man 3 4K MA $5 HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $2
Jack And Jill HD MA $4
Jack Reacher Never Go Back HD VD/IT $3.50
Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit 4K VD/IT $4.50 HD Vudu $3
James Bond Skyfall HD VD $2
Jarhead 2 HD MA $3
Jason Bourne HD MA $4
Jigsaw 4K VD/IT $4.50 HD VD/IT $3
Jobs HD MA $4
John Wick 4K Itunes $4 HD Vudu $2.50
John Wick 1 And 2 Combo HD Vudu $4
John Wick 2 4K Itunes $4 HD Vudu $2.50
John Wick 3 HDVD/4KIT $4
Jordan Peele 3 Film (Nope/Get Out/Us) HD MA $8.50
Journey To The West Conquering The Demons HD Vudu $4
Jumanji 2 Film (Welcome To The Jungle/ Next Level) HD MA $7
Jungle Book 1967 HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Jungle Cruise HD MA $4 HD GP $2
Jurassic Dominion 2 Film Theatrical/Extended HD MA $5
Jurassic Ultimate World 6 Film Collection 4K MA $17 HD MA $12
Jurassic World HD MA $1
Justice 2017 HD MA $4
Justin Bieber Never Say Never Itunes $1
Katy Perry Part Of Me HD VD/IT $3 SD VD/IT $1
Kick-Ass Itunes $3.50
Kick-Ass 2 HD MA $4
Killer Elite iTunes $3
Killing Them Softly HD VD $4
Kin HD VD/IT $3
Kingsman The Golden Circle 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $4
Kingsman The Secret Service HD MA $4
Kung Fu Panda 3 HD MA $3.50
La La Land 4K VD/IT $4.50 HD VD/IT $3
Lady And The Tramp 1955 HD MA $5.50 HD GP $4.50
Last Knights HD Vudu $4
Legend Of Hercules 4K VD/IT $5
Leprechaun 7 Film Collection HD Vudu $10
Leprechaun Origins HD VD $3
Les Miserables HD MA $3
Let Me Explain Kevin Hart Itunes $2
Let's Be Cops HD MA $3.50
Life As We Know It Itunes $3
Life Is Beautiful HD Vudu $4
Life Of Pi HD MA $3.50 HD Itunes $3
Lightyear 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Lilo And Stitch HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Lilo And Stitch 2 HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Lion HD VD $4
Lion King 1 1/2 HD MA $6
Lion King 1994 4KIT/HDMA $5 HD GP $4
Lion King 2019 HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Logan HDMA/4KIT $3.50
Lone Ranger HD GP $4
Lone Survivor HD MA $2
Longest Ride HD MA $2
Lorax 2012 HD MA $4
Lords Of Salem HD VD $4
Luca HD GP $3
Lucy HD MA $3.50 4K Itunes $4
Lyle Lyle Crocodile HD MA $4.50
Madea Big Happy Family Itunes $2
Madea Christmas HD VD $2
Madea's Witness Protection VD $2 Itunes $2
Maggie HD Vudu $3.50
Maleficent 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $3
Maleficent Mistress Of Evil HD GP $3.50
Mama Itunes $3
Marine 4 HD MA $2.50
Mary Poppins HD GP $3.50
Mary Poppins Returns 4K MA $5 HD GP $3.50
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2023.05.29 19:49 StrangeMagic182 1 mo PO on the 2nd - does anyone else feel fine?
Im not bragging, I genuinely want to know if anyone else feels this good? I feel so normal that I’m paranoid that my stomach wasn’t actually taken out, lol.
My first week sucked, but other than that it’s been fine. I haven’t thrown up or been overly nauseous more than a couple times. I can walk 2 miles. I’ve had a burger patty w cheese and a hot dog with no issues. Im getting my fluids in nearly every day. It’s scaring me because it feels too good to be true. Anyone else?
submitted by StrangeMagic182 to gastricsleeve [link] [comments]
My first week sucked, but other than that it’s been fine. I haven’t thrown up or been overly nauseous more than a couple times. I can walk 2 miles. I’ve had a burger patty w cheese and a hot dog with no issues. Im getting my fluids in nearly every day. It’s scaring me because it feels too good to be true. Anyone else?
2023.05.29 19:25 BunnyBuns34 Drop your baby brain stories
Last night, I was heating up some Mac and cheese for my husband. Asked if he wanted hot sauce and he said yes. So I go to the fridge and get the hot sauce and put it over by the microwave. On my way, I notice the dogs food bowls are empty so I go grab them some food and fill their bowls. Then I go to the fridge to get the hot sauce, only to discover that we’re out! “What the heck! I could have sworn we had some… when did I use it up? I haven’t made anything with hot sauce in like a couple weeks…. Hmmm well do you want sriracha instead? No? Dang, sorry, I thought we had some….” My face when I realized i had zero recollection that I had taken the hot sauce out 2 minutes before 🫠
I already struggle with this kind of stuff due to adhd so I’m concerned for the next 7 months!
submitted by BunnyBuns34 to December2023BumpGroup [link] [comments]
I already struggle with this kind of stuff due to adhd so I’m concerned for the next 7 months!
2023.05.29 19:09 Proletlariet TMNT 12
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
♫ Here we go, it's the lean green ninja team ♫Many years ago, four baby turtles and a man named Hamato Yoshi were mutated in the sewers of New York City. These turtles became the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, taught the way of the ninja by Yoshi, also known as Master Splinter. After their mutation, the turtles would go on to protect the world and themselves from a variety of threats, including insidious mutants, invading aliens, and the Shredder, master of the evil Foot Clan.
Leonardo
Leonardo is the leader in blue, does anything it takes to get his ninjas through. Wearing blue and wielding twin katanas, Leo is the field leader of the turtles and the most dedicated to the way of the ninja.Full RT
Strength
- Cuts apart Kraang droids
- Kicks a Kraang pod down hard enough to make a crater in the metal floorS1E26
- Holds back Kraang Prime's giant mech until it breaks the chainS1E26
Durability
- Gets hit with a charge and punches from ArmaggonS4E4
- Fine after being pushed through a stone floorS3E23
- Gets blasted through a wall by KavaxasS5E3
Speed
- Cuts arrows out of the airS2E25
- Reflects a shot from a Kraang blaster back at the KraangS2E9
- Slices two Foot robots into pieces before they begin to fallS2E8
Skill
- Wins a free-for-all against the other turtlesS2E8
- Paralyzes Raphael with pressure pointsS5E2
- Curves a thrown shuriken to hit a fleeing van's tireS1E1
Donatello
Donatello is the fellow, has a way with machines. Wearing purple and wielding a bo staff, Donny is the brains of the turtles and can often be found in his lab, inventing weapons and gadgets to help the team in their fight against evil.Full RT
Strength
- Launches an Elite Foot robot awayS4E20
- Cuts through a Foot robot with his naginataS2E22
- Throws his bo staff hard enough to take the head off of a Foot robot and embed it in a wallS2E25
Durability
- Gets blasted with psychic energy from vampire AprilS5E14
- Takes a shot to the shell from Tiger Claw's gunS4E26
- Gets hit with Metalhead's flamethrowerS2E11
Speed
- Dodges crossbow bolts and arrowsS3E2
- Dodges through a barrage of Kraang blaster fireS1E3
- Crosses a fair distance while his staff appears to be falling in slo-moS1E16
Skill
- Learns to fight without thinking, allowing him to defeat a psychic who was able to see his next movesS1E7
- Calculates how to throw shuriken and kunai so that they ricochet and stab Foot robotsS2E3
- Makes a flowchart that predicts every outcome of a conversation with AprilS1E7
Raphael
Raphael's got the most attitude on the team. Wearing red and wielding twin sai, Raph is the muscle of the turtles and is the most ferocious in battle, though he sometimes struggles to keep his anger in check.Full RT
Strength
- Slices a Foot bot in half with his saiS4E26
- Tackles Super Shredder through a concrete wall then slams his face into a pipeS4E26
- Matches strength with Slash as they smash through walls in a buildingS2E7
Durability
- Gets punched into a wall by Baxter Stockman's mech hard enough to make a crater and knock down pieces of it and is okS1E5
- Takes kicks from Fishface, who can crater a concrete wall with a kickS1E16
- Gets blasted with magic by The Mummy, whose magic is strong enough to destroy his sarcophagus lid and the statue pinning it downS5E14
Speed
- Dodges several arrows in a training exerciseS1E3
- While brainwashed, intercepts Leonardo's attack meant for ShredderS3E16
- Leaps across spires in Dimension X to save Mona Lisa as she's fallingS4E8
Skill
- Uses a pressure point on Slash to stun himS2E7
- Throws four shuriken at once to hit four drones following himS1E19
- Trained pigeons to block security camerasS2E3
Michelangelo
Michelangelo, he's one of a kind, and you know just where to find him when it's party time. Wearing orange and wielding twin nunchucks, Mikey is the youngest of the turtles and is the most easygoing, offering the team an optimistic, if sometimes naive, viewpoint.Full RT
Strength
- Smashes turrets with his nunchucksS1E19
- Stabs a Kraang droid's head with his kusarigamaS2E25
- Kicks off a Kraang droid's headS1E6
Durability
- Gets thrown into a building by Baxter Stockman's mech and is okS1E5
- Takes hits from DogpoundS1E10
- Withstands Mutagen Man's acidS2E4
Speed
- Dodges crossbow bolts and arrowsS3E2
- Dodges attacks from the other turtles while they are brainwashedS2E18
- Fights spiritual Foot ninja while leaping from tree to treeS3E8
Skill
- Fights without thinking, allowing him to easily dodge Splinter's strikesS1E7
- Strings up Shredder on a sign using his kusarigamaS1E9
- Makes intricate shadow puppetsS2E6
Shared Feats
- Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello lift a piece of a large sign off of MichelangeloS1E9
- Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo knock back Traag with a flying kickS1E17
- All four turtles move large stone blocks to uncover the entrance to a pharaoh's tombS5E14
Turtle Gear
Shared Misc Gear
- Climbing clawsS1E2
- Special cell phones built by Donatello called T-PhonesS1E7
- Smoke bombs that allow them to basically teleportS1E9
- ChainsS1E5
- Explosive arrows that can pierce Kraang droidsS1E9
- Grappling hooksS1E13
- Grappling gunsS2E9
- FlashlightsS2E9
- Motorized gliders that allow them to flyS1E25
- Ninja grappling harnessesS4E17
Shellraiser
A subway train car converted into a combat vehicle by DonatelloWeapons/Gadgets
- Has a garbage cannonS1E16
- Has a manhole cover launcherS1E18
- Has jaws on the front that mangle Kraang droidsS1E16
- Releases a smokescreen and an oil slickS2E22
- Scans Shredder's DNAS4E20
- Shoots a missile that blows up GranitorS5E20
Physicals
- Smashes through a wallS1E16
- AgainS3E17
- Pushes a line of carsS2E21
- Rams a vanS1E18
- Withstands Kraang blaster fire and a missile from a Kraang droidS1E25
- Gets rammed by a garbage truckS4E24
Party Wagon
April O'Neil's van converted into a combat vehicle by DonatelloWeapons/Gadgets
- Shoots soda rockets and stink bombs at Kraang droidsS3E9
- FlamethrowerS3E9
- Releases an oil slickS3E16
- Contains a deployable kart with a lawnmower blade attachedS3E22
- Flings a bomb that blows up a hot dog cartS4E18
- Shoots a missile that blows up TraagS5E20
Physicals
- Rams a mutant car through railing off of the side of a cliffS3E6
- Tanks shots from Kraang blasters and rams through a wood wallS3E9
Patrol Buggy
A series of motorized karts that can combine and separate built by Donatello- Splits into two kartsS1E10
- Splits furtherS1E10
- Releases caltropsS1E10
Stealth Bike
A stealth motorcycle built by Donatello- Housed in the ShellraiserS1E18
- Can activate a cover that is the same color as the street, making it hard to track from aboveS1E18
Turtle Sub
A submarine built by Donatello- The engines are charged by kinetic energyS1E21
- Shoots torpedoesS2E21
- Shoots an underwater flareS1E21
- Releases explosives to make a sea monster let go of itS1E21
- Opens its mouth to carry a rockS1E21
Turtle Blimp
A blimp built by DonatelloTurtle Mech
A four-man mech built by DonatelloWeapons/Gadgets
- FlamethrowerS2E25
- Launches a barrel bombS2E25
- Grappling handS2E25
- Spins its hand to shred large bugsS5E5
- Taps into the city's power grid and uses an electro-harpoon to take down Kraang Prime, though it fries the mechS2E25
Physicals
- No sells Kraang blasters and stomps on Kraang droidsS2E25
- Picks up a dumpster and drops it on a Kraang droidS2E25
- Gets smacked into a building by Mega ShredderS3E21
- Jumps across rooftops and takes a blast from Kraang Prime's laserS2E25
- Dodges a charge from Mega ShredderS3E21
- Dodges a blast from Lord Dregg's mothershipS5E5