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Demographics

• Gender: Male
• Race/Ethnicity: White
• Residence: Kansas
• Income Bracket: ~70k
• Type of School: Public
• Hooks: N/A

Intended Major(s): Physics & Mathematics Double Major
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 3.96/4.51
• Rank (or percentile): 10/~450
• # of Honors/AP: 5/8
• Senior Year Course Load: AP Lit, Physics C, and Chem, Calc III/Linear Algebra, German IV, Marching Band, Regular US Gov & Psych (They couldn't put me in AP)

Standardized Testing

• ACT: 35 (35E, 36M, 33R, 34S)
• AP: Calc BC (5), Stats (5), Physics I (5)

Extracurriculars/Activities

1. Mellophone Section Leader, Marching Band (9-12, 12 hwk, 15 wk/yr)
2. Captain, Science Olympiad (11-12, 3 hwk, 29 wk/yr)
3. First Chair Horn, Local Youth Symphony (11-12, 2 hwk, 35 wk/yr)
4. Highest Ensemble Member, Concert Band (9-12, 5 hwk, 27 wk/yr)
5. First Chair Horn, School Symphony Orchestra (9-12, 2 hwk, 17 wk/yr)
6. Math & Science Tutor, NHS Chapter (11-12, 2 hwk, 24 wk/yr)
7. Varsity Team, Scholars Bowl (12, 2 hwk, 25 wk/yr)
8. Head Programmer, Robotics Team (11, 5 hwk, 12 wk/yr)
9. Member, Tri-M Music Honors Society (12, 1 hwk, 29 wk/yr)

Awards/Honors
So this is kinda awkward... I didn't report them? Don't ask me because I have no idea how this happened LOL. However, my letters of recommendation almost certainly included National Merit Semifinalist (now Finalist) and Seal of Bileteracy in German.
Letters of Recommendation
Counsler - 5/10
She doesn't really know me. My school changes counslers around every year (which is a dumb idea if you ask me but whatever). She probably just took what I wrote on the profile sheet.
Gifted Teacher - 8/10
Not much to say. She knows me really well, what I am passionate about, my goals, strengths, etc etc.
German Teacher - 10/10
I've had her since freshman years and she would 100% go out of her way to write a stellar recommendation letter for her students. She also knows me probably the best out of any teacher I've ever had, and I perform super well in her class.
Personal Statement - 8/10
I wrote it about baking a cake lol. I managed to connect it to a lot of things that are important to me, such as my difficult family situation, intellectual curiosity, persistence, etc. It might sound cheesy, but I had it reviewed by numerous people and they all thought that it was enjoyable to read and enlightening about my character.
​
COLLEGES (Safeties not listed)
UChicago (EDII)
"Why UChicago" Essay - 6/10 I really liked it at the time, but in retrospect it seemed too metaphorical and vague instead of just being specific. It wasn't horrible or anything, but it definitely could have been better.
Uncommon Essay - 10/10 I wrote about Kepler with a fidget spinner, and honestly this essay still hits just as hard as the first time I read it.
Video - 8/10 I mostly featured some of my freetime hobbies such as music composition and cubing (I also put one of my pieces in the background). Maybe it was a bit overwhelming for the viewer?
Decision: Rejected :(
Miscellaneous Schools:
Williams (RD): Rejected
Bowdoin (RD): Rejected
Vandy (RD)
Extracirricular Supplement - 7/10 I wrote about spending time composing music and the friends I made through it from middle school onwards. It was ok.
Decision: Rejected, not disappointed because I only applied because my parents wanted me to.
WashU (RD)
Major Essay - 4/10 I thought it was fine. I looked back at it later. It was ass.
Video - 8/10 See UChicago video.
Decision: Rejected, but 100% valid considering how ass that essay was.
Northwestern (RD)
"Why Northwestern" Essay - 9/10 It wasn't anything revolutionary, but it was really good. I was really specific about why I wanted to attend, including programs, learning methodology, activities, etc.
Interview - N/A
Decision: ACCEPTED??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Especially on this sub. And all of the arguments against them are for mtf, NEVER ftm. It’s always “men are just doing this to get closer to women”. Right. A man would go through years of regular therapy to get diagnosed with gender dysphoria, go through years of hormone therapy, change their name legally, and get surgeries to help them pass just to get close to women. Theres no reason to hate on them other than to hate.
“Children are getting surgery though to change their gender!” NO THEY AREN’T. If you genuinely believe this statement, then please educate yourself on the matter. To get the surgery needed to officially change your gender you would have to be 18 with diagnosed gender dysphoria. The biggest thing happening to trans children is if their parents are allowing hormone blockers so usual puberty symptoms won’t show. That’s it. And if the parents aren’t supportive of their child, they don’t even get that.
“It’s just a new fad and it’s going too far!” It’s nothing new. There have been cases of people being trans for thousands of years. With new medical advancements it’s easier to show physically. Plus with media showing more trans people existing it’s easier to know they exist now. We would know much more about trans people if the decades of research done for them wasn’t destroyed by the Nazis.
TLDR: don’t be a shitty person and hate on a group of people for being different from you, in any case.

Married almost 20 years, two kids, suburban life, good jobs, etc. We met young and fell very much in love. We've also had a lot of ups and downs. There have definitely been tensions, resentments, and there have been things I've put up with that I might not have put up with had I been older and more mature when deciding who to marry, but overall she has been a decent partner to me and we've done a good job raising our kids. We still make each other laugh, and are still capable of resolving fights, listening to each other, etc. But we are also distant from each other sometimes, and I often feel like she doesn't really want to put much effort into our marriage, and that she tends to become detached from the family for periods of time.
My wife had occasionally mentioned having some attraction to women, but her dating history was only men outside of a couple of hookups and I just never really cared much - it seemed to me that lots of people have at least some attraction to the same gender even if they are mostly straight, and even if she thought she was bi it just didn't really concern me much.
There have been phases where my wife has behaved strangely too, maybe some mild/intermittent mental illness issues although I've never been able to pinpoint what it was and her therapists have never diagnosed her with more than anxiety. It rarely really gets out of control, so I've just learned to live with her occasional episodes/erratic behavior, although not without any scars. It feels a bit like we reached an equilibrium that mostly works and provides a stable environment for the kids, although I have an underlying fear of upsetting the equilibrium that probably injects a little bit of under the surface unhappiness into my life.
In the past week or two my wife became especially sullen and distant, depressed, almost like she was mourning. Tonight we finally had a long talk, and she said a lot of stuff about needing to "figure herself out" and needing "space." I told her that was ok. I've learned to let go of feeling like these mood storms are a reflection on me. We talked more, and she opened up about things she's been feeling, problems she's been having at work, various issues.
But one of the things that she said was a bit of a shock to me -- that she feels like if she were younger today, she would change her pronouns and be non-binary. Sort of wanting to figure out if this was serious, I said "well, you are alive today, it's not like you live in the 1950s. Adults do these things too. Is that something you want to do?" And she said she didn't feel like she could, it would embarrass her family etc.
After the conversation was over, we were affectionate and had sex and it felt nice, but under the surface I felt unsettled. The woman I was lying in bed with was still the same woman to me, but she had just told me that I guess she didn't exactly feel like a woman, or I don't even know what she was getting at.
IDK if this is something that will just blow over or what, but I don't know what to do with this. If it's just something she feels but never acts on, do I just live with that knowledge for the sake of keeping our family together? I don't think I could be in a marriage to a person who identifies that way - it's not against my beliefs per se, it's just not really in my makeup as a person. I think of myself as kind of a conservative liberal -- I'm politically liberal and I live and let live, but I'm kind of traditional at heart. Even though I love her I have this weird feeling like maybe that's the beginning of the end, and I don't even know if I want it to be or not.
tl;dr: married with two kids, mix of good and bad, now wife says she thinks she is nonbinary although doesn't specifically want to "come out." I don't know how to feel about it.

Hello! I (20M) am a college student in the United States, and have recently (since February) started going to Mass again after about 3 years. I am still struggling to fully commit myself to being a good Catholic, and have some tough barriers for this to happen. This will be bit of a long post, so fair warning. You can skip to the questions below if you don't want to read my background, it isn't really necessary to answer the questions.
I have always struggled with having faith, and stopped believing in God quite early, in middle school. However, my parents were adamant about me continuing to go to Mass and getting confirmed. After this I settled into going to Mass purely out of an obligation to play music. This stopped with the pandemic, and once I went to college (out of state) I no longer had any reason to go.
As I've indicated above, this has recently changed due to finding myself in an extremely difficult period of change in my life that I had no control over. I don't wish to burden you with details, but safe to say since November of 2022 I have had the darkest and most directionless period of my life. This definitely spurred me to act on a lingering impulse since I got to college to begin exploring religion and faith again, and as I've said, I have started regularly attending Mass again.
I can safely say I believe in God again, and have found some much needed spiritual peace in praying and receiving the Eucharist, as well as unburdening myself at confession. However, I am struggling to fully accept all of the Church's teachings:

1. Chastity, Abstinence, and Masturbation: I have read the church's teachings on these topics and the reasoning behind them all, which I understand to be that sex is primarily a means to the creation of life AND deep union in love with another. It is difficult for me to understand how masturbation, sex with contraception, and sex before marriage is inherently a mortal sin in the sense of love. Why isn't a genuine desire for love enough? Why is it so incredibly necessary for two people to only have sex when the possibility of life is there? Why is masturbation such a perversion of love, can it ever be a form of healthy self-love/self-care, like exercising or resting one's body?
2. Related to the above, I have enormous issues supporting the churches position on abortion and LGBT+ people. I have many trans, gay, or bisexual people in my life, who I absolutely love with all my heart, and see as genuinely good people. I just cannot understand how they are inherently disordered. I believe them when they say they have always been this way, just like I have always felt I am a straight man. Being anti-Aboriton is slightly easier for me accept, which I have never thought of it as a "good" thing, only a necessary evil. Still, I find it hard to justify letting a woman die for a fetus' life. I patently refuse to cut ties or judge these people, as I believe Pope Francis has made abundantly clear, we should only have peace, love, and support for everyone, no matter who they are.

I hope you keep an open mind in your responses, I am earnestly seeking advice and guidance, and am not trying to get into any malicious arguments. I refuse to engage with any discussion that involves hate towards anyone. I admit there is some self-interest here, especially when it comes to the first question. I don't wish to be dramatic, but these issues are honestly my stumbling block, both when I left the faith and now, as I struggle to come back. I feel that either I learn to accept these things, feel forced to leave a religion I find genuine meaning in, or lead a self-contradictory life.
In the end, all I want is to nourish a beneficial and healthy spiritual life that not only makes this life better, but also the next. I hope everyone will have a prayerful Holy Week.

Life without a foggy Lens /\ The Beginning Stages of my SR Journey.
From ages 12 - 22 I pretty much PMO every day . I am 23 Now as of Oct
Growing up in a Christian household I always knew it was wrong. Since I lived in a low income impoverished area I had convinced myself it wasn't THAT bad. I figured hey everybody else is doing drugs and MB and having sex and drinking. I am just doing something natural ( or so I thought ) so it cant be that bad. Boy oh boy how wrong I was.
It wasn't until recent years I started noticing a few things . Things that seemed off to me . Things that I knew shouldn't be happening. Around age 21

1. I was losing motivation to do ANYTHING . Don't get me started on doing my job! I hardly wanted to get out of bed to do fun activities much less use my brain for something productive.
2. I felt anemic . Always cold .. Didn't really matter where I was or even the temperature really I just always needed a jacket or hoodie or something and I couldn't ride with the AC on even in the summer and my friends would hate riding with my because I couldn't ride with the windows down or the AC on..
3. Social Anxiety. I couldn't speak to people without stuttering and I wouldn't start conversations on my own. I couldn't look anybody in the eye for more than a moment. I definitely couldn't approach women and I just couldn't operate without the fear of conversation.
4. No Dreams . I didn't have dreams at all really only very very rarely and I actually even forgot dreaming was a thing before I began SR. ( crazy I know )
5. Sleeping and the energy I had after a nights sleep. Before SR I had a lack of energy no matter how much sleep I got , this probably also had a lot to do with the depression. Ill get into that next.
6. Depressed Consistently . Doubting yourself and who you are was probably the thing that hit me the most . I was so sick of looking in the mirror and knowing I could do better and better but just not doing it.. I would look at myself in the mirror and say your a bitch you tell people they cant control their addictions but look at you, you are exactly like them .. And I was ..

I have so many more things I want to add to this but of course I forget all of it of course as soon as I go to make a post . To make a long story short you get the point I was having a lot of emotional and mental issues going on. On to the Discovery of SR
So I was actively trying to stop watching and participating in MB for years actually . The longest streak I had then was maybe a week and a half but I could never go longer I was always pulled back in like any addict.
I started doing a bit of research and found a few YT videos on SR. I watched them and it was almost equivalent to finding gold. I said this is it this is the push and information I need to take back control of my life. It was almost like the information of being better and people becoming better gave me the push I needed to do exactly that.
I don't keep track of my days but if I had to guess I would say I'm in the high 20s almost 30 days.
Things I have noticed in my shorter stint of SR ( I have no plans on stopping any time soon )

1. Women NOTICE YOU . Ex: I started working at a new dealership and there were 2 women coworkers I saw at various times throughout the day. When I would see them they would very noticeably be staring at me. One day I'm walking by and they are talking. As I'm walking by I'm not looking towards them until the last second I look over and the one girl is telling her friend I am walking by LOOK . As she's doing this I look over and they both smile and I smile. I felt powerful . This was about 2 weeks in SR.
2. Energized . I feel like I have the energy to do everything that I want to do and my procrastination is like completely gone. I go to the gym now 5 days a week consistently ( I started doing this slightly before SR started but SR made me stay strict on my schedule .
3. I look people directly in their eyes and they usually look away first while I maintain . Keep in mind this isn't a thousand yard stare down lol. Just maintaining eye contact .
4. Dreaming is back. I pretty much have vivid dreams every single night.
5. I can handle cold better and my body seems to hangout at a higher body temperature now.. Weird I know.
6. Deeper voice . My voice has become noticeably deeper and I have had a few people now tell me about it . Mostly friends and coworkers. Family as well.
7. Looking at women differently. Lust is diminishing rapidly . I see women in public and I used to immediately look at ass and see if the body is great.. Now I immediately look at the face and look for her eyes.. Don't get me wrong I still look at the booty after or whatever but it isnt the first thing I look for.
8. I really don't like using the words Alpha and Beta .. I feel like the guys that use those are " beta " because real men don't need to call themselves Alpha I believe they just are .. But for people to understand . I feel like the Alpha in my group of friends and I feel like they can feel that as well.
9. Better Memory

These are a few things that I have noticed and I know there are many more which as this post gets older I will come back and add benefits .. I actually made this post about 20 days ago, saved it as a draft and here I am as a 45+ days SR practitioner. Life is only getting better steadier and easier when it comes to my addiction. Stay strong my brothers. This journey is the one that could set our youth free.
I ask you to speak SR and Preach SR . I have been telling every man around me about SR in hopes they give it a try. Imagine a society of men not controlled by their sexual desires. We need to shout this from rooftops . Lets start something that's bigger than ourselves. Lets come together and change the world with this. This is something that's not only very possible but can be achieved in months if we all stand together. Thank you for reading .
Also one last thing . I absolutely love coming to Reddit just to read posts of people SR journeys because it only inspires and encourages me. SO PLEASE . Post your story on this reddit . Im sure many guys here can agree with me. Don't be scared even if you have failed please post your journey with all details. The good bad and ugly . Let me know what you think on this post and how I can improve . I am all ears!

Hello! So I’ve been doing a lot of reading on this subreddit (bad idea). Gotten a feel for the common successful methods & not so successful. I’ll give a short synopsis of my story and then let you know what I’ve been doing that really seems to be working for me rn.
Story time (F, 23): March 4th I noticed the bumps while shaving. Shaved them (idiot). Went to the dr. Dr thought either foliculitis or molluscum. Prescribed me antibiotics and said it they don’t work then it’s molluscum and go to the derm. Didn’t work. Went to the derm, yep, molluscum. She proposed no other option that cryo, so I did the cryo. She said to come back EVERY 4 WEEKS UNTIL THEYRE GONE. Estimated 3-5 sessions. I like sex too much, so that time frame was a no go for me. Cryo worked on some bumps but more were growing and I was not about to wait another 3 weeks with them to get them frozen.
Whats working for me right now: I take a hot shower and let them get all weird and puffy. Then I spray tf out of the area with hydrogen peroxide and let them get even weirder and puffier. Then, self extract. I know most people use a needle, I’m scared of needles. I got a blackhead remover and just use a lot of force. Yes, it kinda hurts. But I have a high pain tolerance and I want this shit gone. While I do it, I’m careful to keep it clean with more hydrogen peroxide as to lessen spreading. I soak the tool with isopropyl in between extracting to make sure I don’t spread. I also let it air dry on before putting underwear on. I did this on Monday of this week (03/27, 6 days ago). Next two days I sprayed with hydrogen peroxide and on Wednesday I noticed some were still getting white (pus), so I self extracted those again to make sure I really got the core. Next day, my Mollenol came in. I got the patches and the sensitive oil. I put the oil on every scab/ulcer thing where I’d extracted a bump and a patch on any that I haven’t yet. I did that all day Thursday, Friday, and so far today. No joke, they are healing so well already. The ones I’d extracted and put oil on are flat and fading away. The area looks much better, omg. As for the ones I hadn’t yet extracted, tonight I took them out (same way as before) and covered them with the patches. I’ll update on how those turn out, but I’m hopeful. ALSO, I’ve been putting the oil on a few super small bumps that just appeared and they’re already getting smaller and going down. I think this oil actually works, for me at least. A couple other minor things I’m doing, plucking a lot of the hair in the area so I can see the situation better, putting a patch on anything that could possibly be a molluscum, and I take an array of supplements already (collagen- which actually might help for skin cell regrowth??, zinc, vitamin d, iron, magnesium, potassium, l-theanine, im crazy) which may help. Lastly, I have hsv1 (cold sores) and in the USA you can get a prescription for acyclovir if you have that (like 85% of the world does, you probably do) via many online websites that prescribe meds. I used nurx, it was $45. I haven’t started taking them yet but I’m going to on Monday. There’s some research and anecdotal stories about people using it for molluscum and saying it stopped new ones from growing!!
I have truly thrown the kitchen sink at this, ya’ll. I do not want to be stuck with it for 5+ months, and feel confident that I won’t be. My goal is to have it totally cleared by the end of April. By the way things are looking, I think that’s doable :).
Side note, I also kinda tried compound w wart gel. But I did not give it a fair shot, I literally only applied it for like two days. Didn’t seem to be doing a damn thing (I’m impatient). However, I did totally kill and flatten ONE of the bumps. So who knows.
Another side note, all of my bumps are small, and I have/had maybe 30-40. They’re all on my genital area & a couple on my butt. Small like ranging from the tip of a pen to half a grain of rice small. Only one is about the size of a normal largeish pimple. I self extracted that one tonight, so I’ll keep ya’ll updated!
Once this is over I think I’m going to reward myself with some laser hair removal so I never have to question if something is foliculitis or due to shaving ever again. 🥲

My dad is (or was) what I would call Republican Lite. Sort of center right.
Something curious I've noticed is that mainstream Republican leaning media seems to almost be radicalizing itself more and more. Fox News I remember being yes, biased, but not full of fringe extreme views. And I think that's why my dad is slowly getting sucked in.
My dad is quite clever but he has some qualities that make him a vulnerable candidate. Both in how targeted I think some of this Qanon stuff is, and qualities that make him particularly vulnerable.

1. Baby-boomer veteran
2. Grew up poor and disenfranchised
3. Loves history. He shoved it down our throats as kids and wanted us to find our type of history we like. I leaned true crime, scams, language, and fashion were sort of my areas.
4. Military history
5. Fascinated by conspiracies that turned out to be true (area 51 coverup, mkultra, Watergate) and tries to 'catch' them before they're officially uncovered
6. And what I call fun ones. I love these because they're usually either outlandish or fascinating or both. Things like Paul is Dead, the Titanic switcheroo, government info on ETs, etc. I have abandoned this interest because conspiracy sites turned into Qanon factories.
7. Addictive personality. I am the same way and it's a careful thing you've got to watch.
8. Stubborn
9. Big fan of doing research. This was always presented (or I took it and still live by it) as learning something every day, get as informed on a subject of interest as possible, and try to know the world around you. Wed always watch history channel (before it was aliens and Hitler), discovery, endless documentaries, books aplenty.

My dad has started to mention some familiar, troubling rhetoric. Not unprompted and often in passing, but still there. He's never liked 'the carrot' and has always been the least racist person I know (he's the kind of guy who will make friends with everyone and he introduced me to so many different cultures. He always stressed not to judge people and instead be curious and open. Now he's talking about them as 'them' and wondering where white history month is. When he learned I knew trans people he had some questions which would be rude to ask a person about themselves but probably came from curiosity. But he also asked if I'm comfortable sharing bathrooms (I genuinely don't understand why bathrooms are segregated in the first place) or getting undressed in front of them (no, but I'm not comfortable getting undressed in front of anyone but my husband. Gender does not factor in). Then he asked if I was comfortable around drag queens (who are just people wearing makeup, dresses, wigs, and/or nails. I don't mean to minimize it but my point is, if I'm not afraid of the person as they are, why would that change with them wearing those things? I'm not afraid of those things so why would that change? I assumed my dad felt the same way).
I don't want my dad to fall down this hole because I think we'd never get him back. He's too stubborn for me to go 'that's bullshit'. He also thinks his kids cannot know anything better than he does. He raised us so we can't reach past that level. I'm a banker and he tries to explain banking to me. He's never worked in banking. When I correct him he says I'll learn more when I grow up (I'm in my 30s?) To give you an example.
But I do think I can appeal to his intellect. I'm hoping that by subtly pushing better more nuanced information on him, he'll learn. And kind of pull back before it's too late.
Is this possible? Is there anything else I could be doing? I'll take suggestions. And if you've got some informative resources to help him pull himself back to sanity? The more information dense with resources that he can then go read, the better.
TIA

I (37M) and my wife (39F) have been married for almost 10 years, together for almost 13 and have 4 kids together(from toddler to teenager). We both had difficult childhoods, hers due to divorce and probably the most childish behaviour I’ve ever seen from anyone (both her parents are clearly narcissistic but it comes out way differently for both) and myself due to early childhood trauma and S.A (which I’ve never told my wife about). My wife was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago and I’ve been going through some medical issues, which although aren’t life threatening, my life has kinda been turned upside down.
We are different people. I like things to be tidy, the kids to have a schedule, proper bed time, complete chores etc. she does not like those things. If I try and get the kids to bed on the agreed upon time she gets mad at me because she doesn’t see value to it (I think, if I ask why she gets annoyed with me), if I try to get them to do simple things around the house like picking up their laundry, doing the dishes, putting away toys or arts and crafts she tells them they do t have to because she’ll do it. It never happens, I always end up having to go back and do whatever it was I asked of them. She says it’s because of her ADHD/because of not learning how to live a normal family life due to her up-bringing. She takes her medication, her dose needed to be increased (Doc told her as much, she said she knew best) sometime ago but she decided it didn’t so I have my doubts it’s doing much, also she refuses to see a councillor to deal with her family issues or help her manage her ADHD. She also has crazy mood swings, although they had gotten slightly better since taking her medication. They still happen but aren’t as extreme. Over the years I’ve done everything I can to try and support her, if it was dealing with her crazy family, her holistic beliefs, when she got into arguments with someone or even finances when we started dating. Writing it out I must of been a fool. I did try to break it off early in our relationship but she gave me a sob story and I’m far too soft hearted. Having said all of this I do really love her, I feel like a huge pile of garbage writing this but the fact is a) this is a burner account and b) I’d never say any of this out loud because I don’t want anyone to think I was disrespectful to her.
Our problems have always been there (small stuff as mentioned previously) but I guess I just feel like a doormat and unloved. As l live already said I have some health problems that make it difficult for me to get around or due much of anything at times. I’m still doing my best to help around the house. Washing dishes cleaning up the “invisible messes” that her and the kids leave. I don’t expect them to leave the house perfect but I didn’t think it too much to ask to scrap if your plate, rinse it off and put it in the sink, but apparently it is. Nobody else will do the dishes, they can literally sit for days if I don’t do them so all the crap they leave to harden has to be scrubbed by me. I’ve decided Im not going to waste time trying so I let them soak and my wife gives me crap for not knowing how to wash them properly! I clean as I cook (I love to cook and make big meals that everyone loves) she leaves the kitchen in a huge mess and gives me crap if I ask her to clean it when she’s done, her excuse is that she’s to busy to clean as she goes or directly after. If she takes out coats, boats, glove etc she’ll leave them in the middle of the floor, and again if I don’t pick them up they’ll stay for days like that. She constantly loses her bank card and takes mine without telling me or returning it and I’m always left to look like a fool at the cash register because I have no way to pay! She’s what a lot of people would consider to be beautiful, she modelled in magazines, she never paid for a drink at bars and once she cause a guy to rear end a car cause he was staring at her. So she never had to consider how her actions effected others. As we’ve gotten older that’s changed for everyone but me.
I’m at a breaking point and what has brought me here is more of the same I guess. Last night my oldest daughter let it slip that my wife invited 12 extra people over for Easter dinner next week and I was expected to make it! They both thought it was pretty funny but I was p*ssed! She did this before without telling me until the day before and I ended up cooking for over 20 people!! I told her I wouldn’t do it again, I already bought the turkey big enough for our family alone, physically I can’t take it and I’ve been looking forward to a nice family meal. She told me she would call it off and so I left it. Today one of the people who she had invited stopped off to pick something up and told me how he couldn’t wait for dinner on Easter. I was taken aback and all I could say was “no”. When he left I asked my wife why he still thought it was going on and she told me she hadn’t cancelled it and would tell she got a chance, she was scrolling FB on the couch at the time. She took our dog for a walk and when she got back she asked why I was annoyed (as I was washing the dishes from the last 3 days) so I told her I didn’t appreciate being made to look like an a-hole in front of our friend and then she lost it at me! She said I shouldn’t be so difficult and that it wasn’t a big deal. I’m a pretty even keel person so I said if she wants them over she could cook and clean cause I wasn’t doing it again, she got mad again and said she’ll make it a potluck and didn’t really care if I wanted to be around these people or not. That was about 7 hrs ago and I haven’t been able to stomach being around her.
I’m just worn out. We have no physical contact really, and I don’t just mean sex I mean if I try and hug her she rushes away or pushes past me because she’s so busy, all the time, night or day. We aren’t doing the best money wise and when I try to tell her we can’t waste money on random nights as a family at a hotel she says I don’t know what I’m talking about and that’s not how you save money. S the worst part is she tell’s the kids we’re going to do all this stuff and then I’m the bad guy that tells them no.
A few months ago I got some scary news regarding my health and tried to tell her we need to make some changes around the house and that her and the kids would have to up their game a bit. She went silent and didn’t want to spend any time with me that night so I sat alone in the dark terrified about what might happen. The next morning she explained it was because she thought it sounded like I was giving up.
She’s really kind to everyone else and I just can’t figure why not me. I don’t know what advice I’m looking for or why I even wrote this. Thanks for reading
TL;DR- My wife is nice to everyone else but doesn’t seem to notice or care how her actions affect me and I don’t understand why.

[no fanfiction flair because I didn’t strictly write here]
Hi there folks, aspiring writer here attempting to create AU fanfiction (on ao3 and ffn)
(Post-writing/rambling me- I just realized I forgot to link my AO3 account, my FFN one isn’t set up yet. I’ll link my ao3 one here- https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_idiot/profile , if I am bothered to set up my FFN account you’ll see it down in the comments)
​
Okay, I’ll let you all in on what I’m writing.
I'm attempting to write a fanfic in which I'm changing certain Characters into females. Also I like to ramble and be very honest about everything, as well as share literally everything with anyone. Don't judge.
I'm not a simp.
Shut up!
ALSO BEFORE I BEGIN MY RAMBLING- if any of you have ideas for plot (points) comment on this post. Anything useful (and fits in my vision) I will attempt to fit into my Sus fanfic.
Disclaimer to people that need it- I do not own Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus or Trials of Apollo, Rick Riordan (my fav mythology based fiction writer) owns PJO/HOO/TOA.
Not really my style but eh, I'd still like the (potential) readers of my fic to at least know who I'm referring to. (in case I'm too stupid and confuse you all when writing.) So, here's a list of AU (alternate universe) characters for this fanfiction. Enjoy.
Perseas (Amphitrite) Jackson: Female Percy Jackson. Self explanatory. (not really) She'll be referenced as Percy/Perce/Persie/princess (ew). (Persie is used and only used by Zoë nightshade, since she's (technically) an old timer and I would wish to distinguish her)
Nicole di Angelo: Nico di Angelo but female. Slight change here in her background- she's not gay (duh) but instead a lesbian. Okay, not much of a change. Referred to as Nicole/Nico.
Wilma (or Wilhelma) Solace: William solace but female. (do I need to add that at this point) partners with nico(le), blah blah blah… I'll refer to her as Willma/Willa/Will (Nicole only). Or Friedrich Wilhelm Die erste! (joke obviously. Unless you really want that to happen. "Oh Friedrich Wilhelm Die Erste, I love you so much," purrs Nicole. Wait… Thats actually plausible. Okay, nevermind, this is a bad joke.)
(Post-writing, pre-publishing me- this is where I ramble, if you want keep reading it, if you don’t I don’t blame you)
Ich kennt Wilhelma ist ein deutscher Name. Shut up. (no not really, but I'll choose which one to use (or both if it comes to that) but do let me know if she should have a German accent if you choose/ I decide to go with the German version of her name.)
Remaining characters won’t have a change in gender. Well, maybe except Frank as he can (in theory) shapeshifter into a female form. Highly doubt hazel would like that though, as she does come from a more conservative era. But sexual preferences for all characters? …probably yes.
Also, reason I’m only changing a specific few characters- Thalia doesn’t need a female sibling. Beryl would probably have had a meltdown because she couldn’t bear a son to succeed her king. (When she was mentally unstable at least, because hey why would Zeus of all people need a successor)
Luke? I’m not gonna feminize him for plot reasons. Quite frankly, I’m…I shouldn’t spoil you, just know he is a male for plot reasons. I don’t think a female Kronos should exist- he’s a male in myths. I don’t think we need a skyfem like mod installed into this fic, and I certainly do not wish to offend Greeks by rewriting their literal culture/religion/heritage, (Also, a male villain fighting against twin female protagonists and a satyr sounds fun. No feminist comments please…)
As for Leo, he and Calypso make a good couple. His cheesy and snarky comments…don’t really fit into a feminized version of him. So if any of you wanna see female Leo (smut/lemon/porn) you came to the wrong place…or maybe not.
Now, background characters (like the stoll brothers)…some may get feminized, some may not. Again, this is entirely up to my mood- if I am in a good one, I’ll make originals- if no, I’ll just not be arsed or rip others off. Which in good writer ethics shouldn’t happen, so I’ll attempt to abstain from doing that. But I did see a very, very good job of feminizing Selina’s boyfriend, the beckendorf guy (look, I haven’t read an English book in 2 years because of my regions educational system, okay?) but again not ripping off!
Anyway, that’s all I got for names and explanations and rambling. Just kidding, below are a few more names I’ve seen from other fics that I have considered (as they are indeed good names and some are widely used.) However, for the sake of originality, I’m gonna try and use original names/ names that suit the character which I have gently plucked from other fics. (Perseas and Wilhelma are the two cough stolen names cough)
Aeee I’m going off on a tangent. Names! For percy, Persephone and Pearl were considered at one point. However- Persephone doesn’t seem to connect with “percy”, and also taking the name from an already existing goddess isn’t really that…you know, good. Imagine Sally Jackson yelling “Persephone come do your homework” and the goddess pops up. Yikes. Plus, it’s…a bit too cliche? Nah, not that. I’m trying to get this idea across…like, if eventually I write lemon/ smut chapters (as an addition) to this fic, having a chapter name called “Persephone has some quality time with Persephone” doesn’t seem normal to me. As for peal, it’s a fine name…but again, not much connection with “percy”, and from what I have read percy has a tanned/ slightly darker complex, and his (her) eyes are green. This, when a pearl is…you know, white, I don’t really think it suits the character.
Now, I also have read a (okay, some) fem nico x will fic (s). That’s where will’s name- Wilhelma- comes from. (Goofy goober Google returned the same result.) But in the fic, Nico is called “Nicolla”. Or “Nicola”. Either way, both names sound Italian but sadly ripping that name off that fic (which was a good read, shut up) seems…not so good. Especially when it’s only one fic which calls her nicola. Or nicolla. Shut up! So yeah…with perseas I can at least argue “oh but it’s used by a lot (or some)” and feel morally right (?). What am I on about.
Anyway, I’m an idiot, and if I am arsed I might have some sketches/ drawings of the above feminized characters. If you see them below their names (or below this paragraph because I can’t be arsed to format stuff) then congrats. If you don’t, don’t spam dm/comment. I’m still not gonna do it. (Or I might, if I am in a good mood.)
Plus, it’s late, and it’s time for me to start planning an alternate timeline plot similar to the original. Good night, and I hope I can remember this exists after a day. Or two days. Or a week. Or a month. Or whatever. Why am I rambling!!! It’s 1000+ words!

Let's play the "was I abused" game! Bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you're not sure.
Physical abuse

• parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
• parent spanked me as a "punishment," saying it was for my own good
• parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
• parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
• parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn't escape them
• parent hit me when I wouldn't obey them/tried to confront them
• parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
• parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
• parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
• parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
• parent made it painfully obvious for me that I'll obey them or suffer injuries
• parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn't do as they say
• parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
• parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
• parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
• parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

• parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
• parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
• parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
• parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
• parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
• parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
• parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
• parent shamed me for my physical appearance
• parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
• parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
• parent insisted I couldn't take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
• parent never comforted me/parent got angry if I reached for comfort
• parent punished me for crying/showing feashowing trauma symptoms
• parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
• parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don't matter
• parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
• parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
• parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I'm the worst
• parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
• parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
• parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don't change
• parent refused to accept my gender or sexuality/tried to force it to change
• parent required for me to act normal to protect the family's reputation
• parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
• parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
• parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
• parent made me responsible for their wellbeing and made me the caretaker
• parent insisted that their harmful acts were all done "out of love"
• parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
• parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
• parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
• parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
• parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me

Psychological Abuse

• parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I won't achieve anything
• parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
• parent would change their side of the agreement in a crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
• parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
• parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
• parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
• parent threatened to leave me
• parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
• parent never acknowledged, praised, or approved of my actions
• parent always declared that they were right, without any proof/explanation
• parent insisted that they were a great parent, using financial support as proof
• parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
• parent threatened to have me "married off"
• parent gaslit me and tried to make me believe my memories weren't real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

• parent didn't notice I hadn't been eating properly
• parent didn't notice I was sick/didn't care for me while I was sick
• parent didn't notice I was injured
• parent didn't notice I didn't have clothes/shoes I needed for school
• parent didn't notice I suffered from trauma
• parent didn't notice I was anxious and stressed
• parent didn't notice I was depressed
• parent didn't notice I was cutting myself
• parent didn't notice I was suicidal
• parent didn't notice I was being sexually abused
• parent didn't notice I was being bullied
• parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
• parent failed to teach me the very basics of self-care
• parent didn't seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
• when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn't happening, and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

• parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
• parent made me feel like I'm a financial burden to them
• parent only gave me minimal money to survive, though they had much more for themselves
• parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me, though they had much more for themselves
• parent took the money I earned from me
• parent used the money to blackmail me ("if you continue this way let's see who will pay for your bus ticket!")
• parent insisted that since they "pay for my stuff," they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
• parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
• parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it's too expensive, while they got everything for themselves
• parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
• parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
• parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was old enough to understand them
• parent would make sure I never had enough money to escape them

If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you've been badly harmed by your parents. Also, this list is not complete. There are many more abusive behaviours not listed here; feel free to add!

Hello my fellow necromancers and cavaliers!
Welcome to our one and only discussion of "As Yet Unsent" by Tamsyn Muir! I'm excited to discuss the next entry in The Locked Tomb series with all of you and I promise that's no joke!
"As Yet Unsent" is the fourth published work in the The Locked Tomb series and our second "bonus" short story. However, this short story is set in parallel to some of the events of Harrow the Ninth and will make very little sense if you have not already read that or Gideon the Ninth. I'd even suggest reading "The Mysterious Study of Doctor Sex" for additional context. For these reasons, I highly highly highly recommend that you do not read this short story if you have not read through the entirety of Harrow the Ninth already.
You are not required to mark spoilers for Gideon the Ninth, "The Mysterious Study of Doctor Sex," or Harrow the Ninth. However, please refrain from discussing any plot points in later works of the series - so not just Nona the Ninth but any other works that are published later. We will be reading Nona the Ninth this summer so if you'd planning to read with us, expect to hear more details about a schedule sometime in late May.
If you need a refresher on the events of the series so far, you can review our previous discussions at the links below:

• Gideon the Ninth
• "The Mysterious Study of Doctor Sex"
• Harrow the Ninth

"As Yet Unsent" can be read in its entirety for free here on Tor. It's also included in the trade paperback edition of Harrow the Ninth. Without further ado, let's jump on in!
Summary:
Captain Judith Deuteros introduces herself as our narrator during her first entry of a secret report she is creating for Cohort intelligence. At this point Judith, along with Camilla Hect and Coronabeth Tridentarius, have been in the custody of Blood of Eden for over five months. As we learned in Harrow the Ninth, although Judith was severely injured during the final hours at Canaan House, she had not died from her wounds. It turns out that the Blood of Eden is the one that's responsible for that, as they've done a number of procedures to try to heal her. They've forced Judith to help them during those procedures using necromancy, but this is difficult due to the lack of thanergy on the planet they're on. In the end they attach medical devices to her esophagus and bowels to help replace critical bodily functions.
In the next entries, Judith expresses her concern and dismay over Camilla possibly and Coronabeth absolutely being converted to Blood of Eden's cause. With Camilla, Judith holds some hope that she may not be swayed, but nervous. Camilla has explained to her that when speaking to the Blood of Eden soldiers and in particular the commander We Suffer, they've revealed detailed but outdated intimate knowledge of the Sixth House, including an ancient object called a "Source Gram." Camilla doesn't seem to care too much about their arguments, or at least doesn't express that to Judith. Instead, she wants to know why members of the Sixth House would have worked with Blood of Eden in the past.
As for Coronabeth - well, she's already been radicalized. Judith is very embarrassed that she didn't pick up on the twins' deception despite knowing from them from childhood, but that's not the point, or the main one. The point is, Coronabeth has always been a bit of an easy mark, and after having the necromancy deception blow up in her face and watching her sister murder their cavalier she clearly wasn't in any state to resist Blood of Eden's propaganda. Coronabeth will frequently argue with Judith using their talking points about resettlements and business contracts between the Nine Houses and other populations. After a while Judith realizes Coronabeth doesn't actually want to debate with her but has already made up her mind. To Judith's confusion however, Camilla insists that Coronabeth's intervention saved their lives and that she put herself in harm's way to achieve. Given her injuries at Canaan House, Judith has no way of being sure.
Judith's body is continuing to heal, although she'll always need the medical devices. She tries to acclimate to how her body works now, which was already at a disadvantage from necromancy, although less so compared to others. Occasionally the soldiers will allow Coronabeth to take her outside for air after restraining her, even though the restraints won't do much. During these walks, Coronabeth tries other tactics to persuade Judith to agree with Blood of Eden. They argue a lot. One time Coronabeth mentions that she and Ianthe always had an interest in how the Houses are run and that many of their current movements don't make any economical sense. Judith eventually cuts to the heart of the matter, asking Coronabeth how she could side with and be part of Blood of Eden when they hated even the concept of them. Coronabeth admits that that's the main thing stumping her still.
One day, Blood of Eden soldiers restrain and sedate Judith to take her on a ship - what turns out to be a Gorgon class ship with a stele inside. They demand Judith explain how to she can use it, threatening to kill both her and Camilla, but eventually Judith tells them that she only knows the basics of how steles work and that she wouldn't be able to use it for them. At this point Judith becomes very concerned - surely she must be the only necromancer in their custody, because if not they would either be capable of killing themselves or be unable to aid them. Judith asks Camilla and Coronabeth to kill her but they both refuse.
By the way, this whole time Camilla has been wearing a pouch around her neck that contains some of the bones of Palamedes Sextus. She refuses to take it off, despite the requests and/or commands of others. In general once Palamedes is mentioned Camilla cannot be reasoned with. One day irritable about her dependence on Camilla, Judith tells her a story about how Lieutenant Marta Dyas became her cavalier, and how as a young woman Judith was so caught up in their relationship that she propositioned her. Judith explains that Dyas kindly turned her down, that it was for the better, and that Palamedes Sextus should have known to warn her against becoming codependent on him. As you can expect, Camilla is not thrilled to hear this.
But other than that, Judith is slowly dying. Although the medical devices have been correctly attached to her esophagus and intestines, she's now developed a severe internal infection. There's a disagreement among the Blood of Eden soldiers about whether to let Judith die or not. We Suffer seems to think she'll live regardless but Judith thinks that based on what she's seen, We Suffer is more of a tagalong than an actual commander. For the most part, Judith has a high fever that keeps her in a state of delirium. When she is awake, Blood of Eden will only allow Coronabeth to see her a couple of times. Judith asks Coronabeth not to give into Blood of Eden's propaganda. They joke around a bit, reminiscing about childhood interactions. Coronabeth reveals that she was desperate to get Judith's attention as a child, and one point begs her not to die and leave her alone. But it's all for naught - Judith is dying, and there's nothing Coronabeth or Camilla can do to stop it. Judith makes her peace with that, believing that this is the best way for her to serve her duty to the Emperor and not aid Blood of Eden in any way.
...And then the next time she regains consciousness, Judith wakes up to voices, including a new one speaking perfectly accented House. This voice shrilly scolds the Blood of Eden soldiers before removing the artificial esophagus and bowels and healing her, using thanergy. The shocking part about it is that it's a thanergy bloom that Judith has never experienced the likes of before in her life, and that leaves her in a state of half paralysis. Meanwhile, the shrill voice continues to scold the soldiers, telling them how to use and maintain the stele and warning them that they need to be careful. They did their best to disguise what happened but God will recognize what's going on immediately if he takes a closer look. The shrill voice is also annoyed that Blood of Eden was calling in a promise to help them with a stele if they acquired one when that deal was made over twenty years ago. The last thing Judith hears is the shrill voice asking to see a corpse.
When Judith wakes again, Camilla confirms her suspicion - that the person who healed her was a Lyctor. At this point, Judith believes that the Emperor and the Nine Houses are doomed. The group prepares to leave the planet shortly as Judith is now physically able to use the stele to fly the ship.
Throughout all of this, the Blood of Eden has been running experiments on a corpse by leaving it exposed in various environments with different temperatures. Despite their experimentation, the corpse shows no signs of decomposition and animals won't touch it, even when encouraged to do so. The shrill voice demanded to see the corpse, assuming that that the soldiers had accidentally left it in an air-tight enclosure and that prevented its decay; whether the person changed their mind is unknown. But during their last day on the planet, the soldiers allow Coronabeth to take Judith on a walk outside (with less restraints even). At the end of their walk, they stop at the table on which the corpse of Gideon, the Ninth House cavalier, is laid. The body continues to show no signs of decomposition, and as Judith told the soldiers, there doesn't appear to be any necromancy causing that. Judith isn't even quite sure why Gideon's corpse is on board, other than Camilla asking them to take it due to something about a note.
Coronabeth reaches out to smooth a lock of hair before telling Judith that she took Gideon's rapier. Judith suggests that she put the rapier with Gideon's body, but Coronabeth insists that she thinks Gideon wouldn't mind that she had it. Coronabeth then turns to Judith and asks her to accept her sword, and let her become her cavalier. Judith takes a moment to reflect and admit to herself that wherever they're going, it's unlikely that she will live to return to the Nine Houses, and that this report will see the light of day. In fact, she hopes that's not the case, or that if it ever is discovered it is by a people that come long after them. Judith knows that while Marta became her cavalier with the purest of intentions, she had still fallen for her. So, knowing that she's pined after Coronabeth for over a decade, the answer is easy - not in this life or the next.
~~ Fin ~~
Discussion questions are below. Enjoy!

This is a bit of a random thing to write here but it has been on my mind the whole day and I can't sleep so here we go. This is going to be a long one btw, TLDR is at the end.
I study at a vocational school. In case some of you don't know what this means, it's a school where you study a specific profession in addition to the standard curriculum (albeit modified to fit our profession). Long story short, I'm a car guy from head to toe.
Now let's talk about the star of the story, let's call him Kevin. At the beginning of the year when nobody knew anyone, one guy in the class tried to befriend him since they sat together in one of our classes. Soon the guy sat away from him. You see, Kevin doesn't shower. How did we discover this? With our noses.
It's hard to tell what life Kevin lives considering that his constant lying has made us doubt anything that comes out of his mouth. About a month into our school year, in a boring old English class, Kevin started to stare at the whiteboard in confusion. The teacher asked Kevin why he wasn't writing anything down and giving the whiteboard such a look. He responded that he is colorblind and can't see what's written on the whiteboard. I repeat this was a whole month into the year and he only now had problems with seeing. Soon he started to talk about how he has a one-of-a-kind type of colorblindness where he can only see in black and white. Everyone called BS on it pretty quickly, but this didn't change anything. His mother came to our school and demanded that our electronics teacher would go to the local Toyota-certified parts store and get her son "colorblind-proof wiring". At this point, other students started to poke at him, making jokes when he had no apparent issues telling apart different colors during art class.
Now here's the kicker of the lies. Kevin claimed that his grandmother bought a DMC-12 Delorean and it's stored in the old barn at her farm. We called BS on that as fast as lighting. Not only are the sales of cars as rare as the Delorean quite well monitored, not a single Delorean has ever set foot in the country. Soon, jokes went around the class, some even stretching out to our parallel class. Kevin's excuse as to why there were no pictures of the car was that his grandma doesn't know how to use a phone. I suppose he got sick of our comments because one day he said that his grandma sold the Delorean.
I was alright with joking about the various lies, but I stopped when the jokes stretched to his other attributes. One day he brought a hentai Manga to school that his mom had bought him for Christmas. (I only assume she ordered it online and didn't bother to check over what it contained.)
Telling him off for reading something like that in class is one thing (Not to mention the number of images of barely-clothed anime girls he sent on our automotive and gaming-centered Discord server), but name-calling someone for simply enjoying a certain type of media is another. (Kevin hates it if you call him a weeb, no matter the context).
One guy thought that it would be funny to sit behind Kevin in class and silently spray deodorant on him. I have to admit, although that kind of behavior is riding on the edge of bullying, it was more of a last attempt to make him more self-conscious. We had complained about his odor to the school before who then relayed the complaint to the parents, but that didn't seem to help one bit. It just seems that he doesn't want to or doesn't feel the need to shower.
Kevin's aggression increased one evening in the Discord server where he started randomly threatening people in the text channels. We got screenshots of all the threats and banned him after he threatened to bring an axe to school.
Then came last Wednesday. We had a test due in Geography where we had to do a PowerPoint presentation on a given subject. Kevin was eager to do his first, but the teacher had trouble finding the link to his presentation in her email so she let another student do theirs while Kevin found his presentation. After the other student finished, Kevin was up again. This time he tried to log onto his own Google Drive to get the presentation from there. After failing to log in, he yelled curses and punched the teacher's desk in full force. Other students told him to settle down which prompted Kevin to scream at the whole class.
I sat in the front row and tried to defuse the situation by saying that he doesn't have to stress about the presentation since we have time to do it last week, but he got up to my face, yelling before I got to finish the sentence. This took me by surprise and I nearly choked on my spit. My friend who sat next to me told him to calm down and sit back down which prompted Kevin to jump over the table between us and tackle my friend to the ground. All of this happened in front of our teacher. Other students rushed in and separated the two and Kevin was dragged to the principal's office.
The next day, we found out the truth from our principal. What Kevin's parents had neglected to notify the school about is that Kevin has a diagnosed mental illness.
"It used to be worse when he was younger." - Kevin's mom about the situation
Yesterday during lunch, our electronics teacher came to our table and asked about the whole Kevin situation. He said that as much as he knows about the situation from other teachers, the school doesn't know what to do with him. He can't be expelled because his grades are good, the threats on Discord aren't anything to the school until he brings an axe to school and the debacle in Geography class isn't a big enough issue unless it happens again.
So now not only is the class troubled by Kevin, but the entire school too. If anyone has suggestions, gladly send them my way. I might update this post once something happens.
TLDR: My classmate is disliked by everyone due to his odor and various his ways of seeking attention that would usually backfire. He tackled my friend in the middle of class and we found out that he has a mental illness. Now we don't know what to do.

I started this inner thought as a vent, but then as I tried to investigate this vast canyon of apathy that many boomers (and older gen Xers) seem to have when it comes to the abuse, demonization and oppression of the younger generation. Obviously I was asking this with our trans community in mind, but i think the same could be asked of many demographics of younger people.. gender, sex, race, wealth class, ethnicity, bodily safety…
I recognize that I come from a bias as I was abandoned by my family… but I’ve also witnessed what I can only describe as a “bubble” that the older generations are living in.. where they are anywhere from apathetic to current problems… to hostile, or outright deny the existence of those problems. (Like climate change denial.)
My degree was in psychology and philosophy so I kinda am curious if this is a new side effect of subconscious fear of mortality—like the constant frontload of information provided by the internet and social media creates this perfect storm of tragedy in the world which further triggers this reactionary terror of their own mortality… and thus they turn away and embrace a collective bubble where they push away or vilify anyone or thing that directly or indirectly forces them to face and cope with that mortality.
Sorry if I got too real with y’all. But I’m having a hard time working through the thoughts and feelings of recent events… and seeing so many older people just… not care about us or straight up vilify us has got me diving deep into the esoteric debate of self awareness. 😔

Bold if you experienced it, italicize if you're not sure. If you read a line and it rings true for you, but you think "that's my fault because I never said anything," bold that line! This is about your experience, not blame assignment.
Physical neglect

• I couldn't count on having clean, decent, appropriate clothing every day, though my parents/caretakers had the economic means
• I couldn't count on having decent meals every day, though my parents/caretakers had the economic means
• It was my responsibility to make food/assure there's clothing even at a very young age, or there would be none
• I couldn't count on being taken to a doctor when I needed it, though my parents/caretakers had the economic means
• I was not receiving proper vaccinations/medications as a child, though my parents/caretakers had the economic means
• I was not taken care of for my injuries, flus, fevers, or health issues
• I was left alone and ignored when sick
• I felt guilty, ashamed, and/or scared when sick
• Nobody noticed if I was injured, sick, or scared of something that was happening to my body
• It was safer for me to keep my sickness/injuries/medical fears to myself
• I felt it would bother everyone or make everyone mad with me if I admitted to being sick, hurt, or scared about my well being
• I had to take care of other kids as a child, so my physical wellbeing felt like an afterthought; it was something I was supposed to take care of myself
• If I was taken care of physically, it was used as a blackmail later; I would be required to allow myself to be controlled as a return "favour"
• My medical issues were neglected to the point where they turned into long-term issues later

Emotional neglect

• I didn't feel I was safe or welcome to open up to my parents or caretakers as a child
• I was not encouraged or supported in expressing my emotions or experiences
• I was not encouraged to speak about my passions, desires, or what I wanted from life
• I was repeatedly attacked, shamed, ridiculed or manipulated with any private information I would share, forcing me to learn to hide
• I was not welcome to speak unless I was somehow entertaining or giving out vital info
• It was communicated to me in subtle or direct ways that it doesn't matter what I want or need, and that nobody cares
• I was shamed and accused for wanting/needing attention
• I was not receiving supportive or warm physical attention as a child (encouraging pats on the shoulder, affectionate hugs, being stroked in an approving/affectionate way)
• I felt uncomfortable receiving physical attention from my parents as a child because it communicated ownership and non-consensual enforcement, rather than approval and care
• I felt completely alone in any hardship and pain as a child, and knew nobody would stand by my side
• I didn't feel safe asking for help, explanations, reassurance, comfort, physical attention, or to be listened to
• I felt like a burden if I wanted for someone to hug me and tell me it's all going to be okay
• I was never comforted or reassured after crying or having a breakdown
• I would get ignored, laughed at, humiliated, or punished for crying, breaking down, or exploding in rage
• I was taught that what I feel is irrelevant and that I would do better to stop expressing it
• I was taught that expressing any painful emotion would get me nowhere, and it was bettesafer to hide it
• I spend hours crying or breaking down in pain/terrostress/anxiety/catastrophizing alone with no comfort and nobody who cared or wanted to hear what I was going through
• I was to take on the role of comforting and emotionally caretaking for my parents, or other children

Psychological neglect

• My parents didn't notice I was depressed/anxious/psychologically unwell
• My parents failed to help provide me with a diagnosis for my ADHD, autism, or similar struggle, and I had to live and deal with it all on my own
• My parents failed to believe me I was mentally ill or struggling with any kind of disability or trauma, leaving me to endure it all on my own
• My fears about my value, or my future, were only intensified by my parents' behaviour; I never felt reassured and secure in my current living conditions, much less my future ones
• My parents failed to acknowledge my sexuality, gender, or worldview, and pretended it wasn't there
• My parents failed to notice I was self-harming
• My parents failed to notice I was engaging in other self-destructive activities that could have, or did, cause long-term damage to my life
• My parents failed to notice or do anything about changes in my behaviour that signalled trauma (becoming aggressive, clingy, dissociated, numb, or closed-up; having nightmares)
• My parents failed to notice I was missing school
• My parents failed to notice I was falling into addictions
• My parents failed to notice I was suicidal
• My parents failed to notice my suicide attempts

Lack of protection

• I was unsupervised for long periods of time as a small child
• I was exposed to physical danger as a child without my parents noticing or reacting to it
• I was exposed to physical danger and physical violence by my parents
• I was exposed to child predators as a child and was never warned, protected, or removed from their influence
• I was introduced to child predators by my family members
• I was never given protection from bullies or any unfair treatment during my education
• I was never given support or comfort after being hurt by a stranger or a peer
• I was bullied/abused/sexually assaulted by another child, and nobody noticed
• I was bullied/abused/sexually assaulted by a sibling/neighbourelative/teachepeer, and nobody noticed/nobody stood by my side or tried to protect me
• I was groomed by a predator (who could even be a family member) and nobody protected me or stopped it from happening
• I was exposed to and groomed by a cult, and nobody seemed to notice, care, or help me get out of it
• I was not given the knowledge to recognize a sexual assault on me, or grooming or any other predatory behaviour from strangers or other adults
• I never felt protected from any outside danger, or felt like I was worth protecting; instead I was taught to feel guilty and ashamed for getting hurt at all

If you have bolded more than 4 of these, you have experienced neglect, and you were forced to struggle alone through experiences that you were not meant to handle or survive on your own. Neglect is the type of abuse that will have the most disastrous consequences on your trust in people, relationships, self-worth, and feelings of community, and will ensure that everything you were put thru is unexpressed, unresolved, and weighing down on your life. You did not deserve to be neglected like this, and none of the above is the result of your behaviour. You were not supposed to be put through any of this alone, much less as a child.

Demographics

• Gender: Male
• Race/Ethnicity: Biracial Indian / White
• Residence: Western Pennsylvania (Semi Competitive Public HS)
• Hooks:
  • Legacy to Tufts, Georgetown, Pitt and Temple
  • Unique Sport (Polevaulting Captain three star recruit)
  • Year long Study Abroad during covid year (with lang immersion)

Intended Major(s): Public Health in most, Global / Population Health or Health Sciences for some
Academics

• GPA/Rank (or percentile): 3.9UW 4.5W (No Class Rank at my HS)
• # of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: 4 AP, 2 AP Prep, 1 PLTW/CIHS
• Senior Year Course Load: AP Gov, AP Bio, AP Chem, AP Calc Lit, Pre-Calc (lost a year of math due to study abroad)

Standardized Testing
List the highest scores earned and all scores that were reported.

• SAT/ACT: 1260 (didn't prep)
• AP/IB: All were taken this year as AP courses arent offered to sophomores at my HS, and I wasn't there junior year. (This may be where the study abroad starts to make things go south)
• Other (ex. IELTS, TOEFL, etc.): n/a

Extracurriculars/Activities:

1. Foreign Exchange — Spent every year since freshman year applying and getting involved with the foreign exchange students in my own region from other countries and got inspired to do it myself. Canceled due to covid until junior year. Majors (SPE'S) included poli sci, sociology, geopolitics, and econ (these were all given to me as they were the most literature heavy hs majors) Wrote some essays about how I was always pushed into science courses and how this gave me an opportunity to explore the humanities and finance coming from a stem hs/ms background. This also gave me the opportunity to write about cultural strife and language learning.
2. Paid work- Orthodontic Assistant & Records Coordinator - Family business (mom is an orthodontist) but ended up getting employed by an associate who was understaffed and just ended up staying with them throughout hs. Started this job as an 8th grader so it was cool way to spend summers and learn about medicine, sterilization etc over time as well get my assistant cert as a senior and work on patients teeth officially after just being a helper for the last 4 yrs.
3. Co-Founder and Vice President of a free tutoring program for underprivileged kids (community is known for being pretty suburban wasteland with tutors being really expensive) gave a bunch of volunteer hours to other hs kids.
4. Emergency Dep Intern at Hospital - Basic internship restocking and helping nursing / triage staff
5. 3 year of varsity polevaulting (2 years captain)
6. Work / Art - Work as a contributing fine art photographer for a regional magazine for a personal feature page every month since 2018 (55 editions published!)
7. Speech Pathology Dep Internship - Same hospital - Alot cooler wrote a few essays about this experience as it was something I didn't really expect to really like. Helped speech patholists perform neurotherapy sessions on trauma patients (mostly heart attack and car crash survivors)
8. Lax Player Freshman year - hated the sport but it gave background to how i originally met and got interested in being an exchange student as this is how met the first one at my hs.
9. Summer Scuba Diving Internship in Costa Rica - Assisted Costa Rican diver masters in collecting data for climate and overfishing research used to shape legislation in federal parliament. (Kinda a well roundedness activity but I was actually quite passionate about it and honestly I was running out of things to mention, lol)
10. Monthly foodbank volunteering - Self explanatory

Awards/Honors: (list here)

1. Rotary Youth Leadership Award
2. NHS Member
3. 1st student to have an exhibition in regional museum.

Essays/LORs/Interviews: (briefly reflect/rate) Essays: Personal statement was foreign exchange changing life perspective (especially as a student)
LOR:
International Studies Teacher - wrote a great one about having me as a student during covid and being quite literally one of two students who ever engaged all year. He inspired me to further pursue foreign exchange after the first shutdown 9.9/10
Spanish Teacher - He doesn't write very good English but it was a really sweet essay about my character 7/10
Friend of Mine's mother - Met formally during my study abroad during a spring break trip to Switzerland about competency as a global citizen 6/10
Interviews:
Georgetown - In person went really well as I actually knew some of their colleagues and had connections to Pitt where they did their residency
Pitt - BS/DSS went well enough felt a little dumb after though as I didn't have an published research like most candidates did
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)

• Acceptances: (list here): —
  • McGill (RD) - Most likely choice
  • LeHigh (EA) 15k/yr - Visited today and loved it
  • GW (EA) 24k/yr
  • Pitt (RA)
  • UMass Amherst (EA) 12k/yr
  • UVM 13k/yr
  • Syracuse 10k/yr
  • Drexel 18.3k/yr
• Waitlists: (list here): — Northeastern (RD) — American (RD) I really don't get this one as GW gave me 24k/yr with virtually the same application - UCSD (RD)
• Rejections: — Georgetown (REA) Most likely due to low SAT score (Disappointing due to legacy connection and strongest essays) — UCI (RD) — Tulane (EA) — UW (RD) — UC Berk RD (Legacy here too lol) - BostonU (EA)

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Additional Information:
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Overall I feel like foreign exchange made me a very toss-up candidate since I wasn't really given the chance to prove myself in a lot of APs. No science courses for a year definitely was a negative for my reaches so I don't really know how to feel since the schools that seemed to read through my app gave pretty decent scholarship (not many straight acceptances w/o scholarships except McGill where I'd be an international student). Thankful for the acceptances and I am beginning to reflect on the rejections (especially Georgetown and BU lol).

tl;dr I accidentally really hurt my closest friend, a rape victim who has PTSD, by telling her that I had feelings for her. I want to do what I can to help her feel better and repair our friendship, but I don't know what the best thing for me to do for her is, and I could use help.
Hi, I'm looking for advice about a situation involving a very close friend Kate, who has PTSD. I f*cked up really badly and unknowingly did something that ended up triggering her in a way that I worry might have permanent consequences to our relationship and might prevent her from feeling safe around me. I'm looking for advice on what the best thing I can do for her is.
Kate and I are both trans women. I'm 24 and she's 28. We met about 3 years ago and quickly became close friends, and about a year ago we moved into an apartment together (with 2 other roommates, who neither of us are very close with). Our relationship has been totally platonic the whole time we've known eachother, but over the past month and a half or so I started to develop feelings for her, and about two weeks ago I told her how I felt, and she said she didn't feel the same way. She seemed to take it in stride and not be too upset about it at the time, and then we didn't see eachother for about a week because I left town to go on a trip with my family (I timed it that way intentionally so we'd have some time apart to process independently if she said no). I didn't think it was too big of a deal for her because she seemed to take it fine when I first told her, but then I didn't hear from her over the week I was gone despite reaching out a few times, and when I got back in town and tried to say hi to her, she wouldn't even look at me and told me that she didn't want to talk. We haven't talked in person since then, and have only communicated a bit over text. I didn't realize what was happening for a few days and I begged her over text to talk to me (I didn't try to talk to her in person again because I was wanted to respect her boundaries, but I did send quite a few texts). After a few days I realized that me expressing my feelings had triggered a trauma response in her and she didn't feel safe around me anymore. I felt horribly guilty because I never meant to make her feel anything like that. A few days after I realized what she was feeling I left town to stay at my mom's place for a bit, both because I wanted to give her space and because being in the apartment and constantly hoping that she would finally come talk to me at any moment was really stressful for me and I felt that I needed to get away.
Kate is a rape victim, and the person who victimized her was another trans woman. This happened years before I met her. She's told me about the situation so I was aware of her trauma surrounding this. However, she's dated other trans women while I've known her, and I had no idea that the idea of a trans woman expressing interest in her would be so triggering to her. I never imagined that it could turn out like this when I told her about my feelings, and I still don't really understand why it did given that she's been willing to date other trans women. It might have been that we live at the same apartment so it freaks her out that she has no option to get away from me, or it might have been that it's scary that it's coming from someone she's so close with, or that she thinks I've had these feelings for a long time and I've been just pretending to be friends with her so I could work up to this, or some combination of all of these.
To clarify a bit about my feelings, I only had romantic feelings for a month or so before I told her, and honestly the feelings weren't even that serious. We're both poly, and I never imagined the two of us as primary partners, I just wanted us to have a comfy casual thing on the side while we each pursued more serious primary partnerships with other people. I pretty much just wanted us to be able to cuddle and be a bit more emotionally intimate with one another. I never really wanted us to have a sexual component to our relationship, that just wasn't why I was interested in her and I know sex is an emotionally complicated thing for her so I never imagined us going in that direction. We already spend a huge amount of time together so I wasn't really looking for much more in that sense, and ultimately the change I was hoping for in our relationship was fairly small, it would have just meant introducing some physical affection and more emotional intimacy. When she told me she didn't feel the same it wasn't even all that big of a deal to me, I was sad for a few days but then ready to move on and just continue being friends from her, and get the affection that I was looking for from other people. Our friendship is way way more valuable to me than the little extra aspects I was looking for. Getting to be friends with her is already so wonderful, I really value her perspective in conversations and I admire so many things about her and I feel so safe and comfortable around her, so I never would have even asked for more if I knew it would threaten our friendship or make her feel this horrible.
I wasn't very clear about exactly what I wanted when I told her I had feelings from her, I just sorta said "I have a crush on you" and she quickly said "I know, but I don't feel the same way. I love you bestie, but not like that" and the conversation ended pretty quickly after that. In retrospect I wish I had been more specific because I worry that she might have thought my feelings were more serious or more sexual in nature than they were. I wish I had clarified that these were pretty recent feelings, because I worry that she thinks this has been informing my behavior around her the whole time we've been friends.
She finally texted me last night for the first time in 3 days to tell me about some of what she was feeling. She told me that she has just felt like she needed space, and how being in the apartment with me was really distressing for her because she felt like she had no way to get away, and that she'd been getting headaches and nightmares since I told her. She just started a new work-from-home job and she said having to deal with that at the same time as all this has put even more stress on her (in retrospect my timing on this was pretty short-sighted). She also said that one of the biggest things she was worried about in all of this was that it would end our friendship, so that makes me optimistic that there might be a way for us to work through this and that we both want to find a way to still be friends after all of this.
I wrote a short response to that message to thank her for getting back to me and to say I was going to think through it carefully before responding in more detail, and since then I haven't said anything. I don't think she's eager to hear from me, I think she just wants space and to be able to get me out of her head so I think it's fine if I don't say anything for a few days. I drafted up a long message explaining exactly how/when my thoughts started and how they've changed throughout this situation so that she wouldn't think I was looking for more than I was or that I had been thinking about it for longer than I have, and to clarify that at this point I want nothing more than to just get back to us being friends. But then I worried that writing so much about myself was just kinda narcissistic and might not really be helpful for her, and I realized that the whole issue in the first place was that I didn't really understand her trauma, so I figured it would be better to try to educate myself about what she's experiencing and get advice from people who know more about this than I do. So that's why I'm posting here. Any advice would about what I should do in this situation or what I should say to her would be hugely appreciated. I'm happy to provide more info about the situation if that would help people give advice, so please feel free to ask questions. And If there's any resources I should look into or books/articles I should read about how to best help a friend with PTSD and avoid accidentally hurting her again, please let me know.

Demographics

• Gender: Male
• Race/Ethnicity: South Asian
• Residence: North Carolina
• Income Bracket: upper middle ig?
• Type of School: Public
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): Immigrated but it was at a young age so idk if it counts

Intended Major(s): Computer Science / Computer Engineering (I just picked whichever one was better at the school I was applying to)
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 4.0/ 4.66 (grade inflation this is normal at my HS)
  • Side note: I was in the NCSSM online program which is kind of like taking CC classes but instead its at a better funded high school and they give you benefits and stuff. My GPA there was a 4.0/5.0 since I only took 4 classes (doesn't count towards my HS GPA).
• Rank (or percentile): currently at like 10-15ish out of 500ish
• # of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: 14 AP, 14 Honors, and the 4 NCSSM courses
• Senior Year Course Load: Calc BC and AP Lit

Standardized Testing
List the highest scores earned and all scores that were reported.

• SAT I: 1520 (740RW, 780M) reading fucked me up hard
• Didn't take ACT because I felt like I could do better things with my time
• AP/IB: Mostly 5s and 4s throw in a couple of 3s on the BS ones like AP Chem
• Other (ex. IELTS, TOEFL, etc.): N/A

Extracurriculars/Activities
List all extracurricular involvements, including leadership roles, time commitments, major achievements, etc.

1. Research thing with some of the professors at NCSSM: Stayed there for like 3 weeks overnight free of charge, completely paid for by the school and engaged in tons of research activity. Gave me a pretty good glimpse of how I want college life to be. My research eventually got published in a paper after a while but it wasn't anything too significant. Happened during the summer of junior year.
2. Machine Learning Club Officer at my HS in my junior year: We did tons of stuff like entering competitions and doing courses on Kaggle. I was responsible for presenting the slides at each meeting and just brainstorming ideas with the other leaders.
3. Science Lead Tutor in the Peer Tutoring club: The club was actually made by the school admins so that they could meet the demand of students/parents asking for tutoring. Pretty popular club and it was how I earned the majority of the volunteer hours. I was responsible for managing the actual tutoring people and sending them off to where they needed to be. Did this every year besides senior year.
4. VP of Developer's Society: Similar to the one above but instead of HS kids, we would go to our local middle school and promote interest in STEM topics. We all came up with some course topics/ideas/activities to do with the kids and went over at least once a month. Pretty fun in general, I've been doing it from 10th grade till now.
5. News Editor in School Newspaper: One year thing in 9th grade where I managed the news section of the school newspaper we published every week. I wrote around 20 articles for the section myself and peer reviewed a lot of other papers to get them ready for publishing. Took up a lot of my time freshman year.
6. Varsity Tennis: Been playing the sport for a long time, I've been in the varsity team in my HS for all 4 years of high school and I got varsity letters all 4 years. Hoping to make it to states this year.
7. Guitar: One of my favorite hobbies, I've been playing the guitar ever since I was a little kid. I have my own YouTube channel where I upload little beats I create time to time but I mainly play as a hobby. Also it is extremely calming playing and doing maintenance on an instrument.
8. Science Olympiad: I did Science Olympiad during my sophomore and junior years, I started on a whim but it was pretty fun. I was on the JV team the first year and the Varsity team the next. We made it to regionals and then states both years.
9. Co-founder of Self Improvement Club: Basically the "weight lifting" club at our school. We make frequent trips to our school's gym, support each other in and out of the weight room and our president is very passionate about his motivational speeches.
10. JV Cross Country: Absolute torture during the years that I did it but it really whipped me into shape and got my stamina up for the tennis season. Ran multiple 5ks and my PR was around 20 minutes at the end of the season.

Awards/Honors
List all awards and honors submitted on your application.
Not much here to be honest I didn't do many of the standard coding competitions or hackathons.

1. 4 year Tennis Varsity Letters + some medals from USTA tourneys
2. 4x Science Olympiad regional finalist
3. Music achievement certificates for guitar back when I used to recitals.

Letters of Recommendation (signed off FERPA but I'll estimate)
Counselor (6/10): Our HS is really fucked up when it comes to counselors because mine changed like every year. I did make an effort to really try and talk to my counselor this year though and gave her a brag sheet to go off of.
APES Teacher (8/10): Honestly one of the nicest and best teachers in my entire HS experience. Super passionate about teaching and the group research final project was honestly one of the most fun projects I've had. I talked a lot with her and since it was a pretty small class she knew me very well. I also sent her the same brag sheet I sent my counselor.
AP Lang Teacher (7/10): Much like my APES teacher, she was one of the few teachers I actually talked a decent amount with. We had a documentary as our final project and I think she really liked mine. She had her own questions for the recommendations so I just answered those on a google doc and sent it to her.
Side notes about recommendations:

• I highly suggest that you do not just send your resume as your brag sheet. It's my personal opinion that colleges care more about teachers can attest to how your mind works, your goals for the future, and your personality rather than just the things you did as extracurriculars.
• Add some questions/topics you are passionate about to your brag sheet or some personal experiences. Also remember to provide context that helps the teacher remember who you are.
• Never forget to say thank you and be patient. Do not rush them even if your deadline is approaching, teachers have a ton of work to do and generally get an extra week or two after the application is due to submit their recommendations.

Interviews
Didn't do any interviews, too busy procrastinating on college applications.
Essays
I've been told I'm a very descriptive writer if it counts for anything but my ratings will probably be subjective. My common app was pretty good, I think the topic I chose made it stand out from any others that I've seen because of how personal and kind of abstract/weird it was. My topic was more centered around how I think and how my way of thinking has grown throughout the years (Question #5 on the common app about growth). I would rate it a solid 7/10. My supplementals were decent, some were better than others because some questions were honestly better and easier to answer than others.
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
Acceptances:

• EA UNC Chapel Hill
• EA NC State
• EA UMaryland (the big one) + Honors College + 20k scholarship
• EA Defer -> RD University of Virginia

Waitlists:

• Priority (?) waitlist at Carnegie Mellon University
• Georgia Tech :(
• UMich
• Duke

Rejections:

• Stanford
• Princeton
• Cornell
• University of Illinois and Urbana-Champaign (CS)

Additional Information:
Honestly went pretty much how I was expecting it to go. I was a bit fearful that I might not get into chapel or state because of how similar my stats were to everyone else in my school but I'm glad it worked out. I was pretty surprised by the big UMaryland scholarship but it was also like my designated safety. I'm pretty sure priority waitlist at CMU just means I get the heads up about any availabilities May 9th instead of June. Kind of sad about Georgia Tech and Duke, probably my closest thing to a dream school. I was fully expecting the rejections by all the ones I got rejected by. Also a little bit of regret about not finding a workaround to the 2 art credits required to apply to the UC schools.
Currently leaning towards putting in the deposit for UNC because of how much it promotes interdisciplinary studies compared to NC State, which really only has its engineering school going for it in comparison to Chapel. I will most likely wait till May 9th, and if I get into CMU I will probably be finding a way to accept the spot and go unless I change my mind because of the price.

Hey Reddit,
I, (17m) am turning 18 in a month and weigh around 280lbs (6’0). I'm getting closer to 300lbs every day and it's starting to take a toll on my mental and physical health. Whenever I try to work out, I get uncontrollably nauseous which causes me to stop working out. I know exercise is important for my health, but I just can't seem to push past this.
To make matters worse, my parents are also very unhealthy and don't encourage healthy habits in our household. They constantly buy junk food and fast food, making it difficult for me to maintain a healthy diet. I don't have enough income to buy healthy foods on my own, as they are super expensive.
I really want to make a change and improve my health, but I don't know where to start. I feel stuck and overwhelmed. I'm hoping to get some advice from the Reddit community on how to make positive changes in my life.
What can I do to push past the nausea when working out? Are there any affordable healthy food options that I can try? Any advice on how to talk to my parents about making healthier choices for our family?
Thank you in advance for any advice or support.
I was put on mirtazapine in May to treat my depression and anxiety. However, it had a side effect of weight gain, which I was not aware of at the time. In little under a year, I gained 80 lbs, and it was really hard for me to deal with it mentally and physically. After finding out that the weight gain was due to mirtazapine, I stopped taking it and instead started taking Wellbutrin, which has helped me manage my symptoms without causing weight gain.
In addition to my struggles with mental health and weight gain, I also have weekly blood draws due to a reaction I had to medication when I was younger. Recently, we ordered some blood logs pertaining to vitamin levels and I found out that my vitamin D was at 8.2 which is much lower than the normal range of 30-80. (I have no clue what these numbers are measured by, all I know is that I am 3x below the bottom). My b12 levels were also barely above the bottom limit. I have started taking vitamin supplements to counteract my deficiencies, but I don’t know if the fact that I WAS deficient could have attributed to my weight gain. Even if it wasn’t the direct cause.
Thanks again for taking the time to read this, i eagerly await your response.
Edit: added information (bottom two paragraphs.
Edit: Gender