Harbour freight near me
My GF F20 says that she was raped, and I M20 am trying to be supportive and I believe her, but what if thats not the whole truth?
2023.06.05 04:51 Accomplished_View351 My GF F20 says that she was raped, and I M20 am trying to be supportive and I believe her, but what if thats not the whole truth?
Okay, this is gonna be quite the long story so strap in everyone. My long distance GF, lets call her C, lives about 1000 miles away from me. We go to university near each other, so that's how we met. Yesterday, she told me that she was going out to a graduation party with her best friend, however she wasn't too stoked because she didn't really know any of the people who were going to be in attendance, so she was hesitant, but she decided to go anyway. I told her to stay together with her friend the whole time, especially in an unknown location, and she told me she would. Mid-day the next day she texts me and tells me that she has been raped, and that she has spent the entire day scrambling around talking to police and going to the doctors and whatnot. Obviously, I was devastated when I got the message. I was driven to tears, and filled with so much rage i thought that i could kill somebody. Anyways, she calls me and reminds me of something that happened a while ago, with this same best friend that she went out with. Her and her best friend came to visit my university for a couple parties during our school's greek week. C's best friend however, let's call her A, in a relationship. A proceeds to cheat with different people two nights in a row, and it would have been three nights if I didn't put a stop to it. When I confronted A about it, and told her that she should tell her S/O, she did, but also claimed to her S/O that she was raped. Now I wasn't personally there in the bed with A while she was with these men, but she did willingly go sleep on 2 different men's beds willingly, even though she was already in a committed relationship. Now, A, like I said, is best friends with C, and I just have this nagging aching feeling that my gf, C, out herself into a bad situation, just like A did, and perhaps felt bad about it the next morning, and reported being raped to ease the burden of possibly making a bad decision. Either way, I have been extremely supportive of her this whole time, and wish I could go and see her, but I have this nagging feeling that perhaps C made a poor decision at some point in the night. First of all, why did C and A ever separate at the party? I have been around the two them at parties before and they never ever leave each other's sides. C told me that she decided to go to sleep upstairs, and that A stayed downstairs. Why? These two do everything together, why would they not just decide to go to bed together, or sleep in their car? I feel really bad for even thinking this way at all, but I am completely horrified at the possibility. This comes right after we had an argument about me telling her that she becomes inconsiderate and flirtatious when she has too much to drink, and it makes me uncomfortable. Please help, will provide further context if needed!!!
submitted by Accomplished_View351 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 04:50 crowbutt grandmother often sick and not getting better but refuses to go to hospital (serious)
if there's any trolls or smartasses im gonna take this down immediately but i just need a place to share my feelings and get relevant, helpful advice.
so my grandmother lives a sedentary lifestyle and frequently gets sick as she's not so active anymore due to old age, fragile muscles etc. she's almost 80. she often gets symptoms like headaches, nausea, coughing and lack of appetite which she would constantly complain about but still continue to eat spicy/fried foods whenever she "feels better". she'd say that it's fine because she already has the medication for it. which i know is not wise but she refuses to listen to me or my family members. so it's just this endless cycle of getting sick and going to the clinic for medicine and then not making efforts to get better. she'd always complain about it too but my mum just gave up and brushes her off as being dramatic.
now i wouldn't dare say anything bc i know I'd be outcasted by my family- but i feel like her behaviour is just killing her slowly. she could probably have some underlying illness that we don't know about but she absolutely refuses to go to the hospital. it's already so difficult for her to take a simple ART test for covid which made some clinic visits hectic for me and the staff there. she'd often lie to me & my brother about her symptoms too (e.g saying she had a cough for a week when it's actually been nearly a month) so the doctor would've probably diagnosed or prescribed her incorrectly.
sure call me careless and not observant towards my own grandmother but she'd just beg me to lie to the doctor and would guilt trip me. I'm still in poly and all this can be so stressful when it shouldn't be. i don't know what to tell my parents how i really feel bc i feel like they also gave up with her attitude. what can i do in this situation?? like how do i tell a medical professional about this?? any advice would be appreciated.
TLDR: grandmother is over reliant on over the counter medication and refuses to go to the hospital and be honest about her symptoms.
submitted by crowbutt to askSingapore [link] [comments]
so my grandmother lives a sedentary lifestyle and frequently gets sick as she's not so active anymore due to old age, fragile muscles etc. she's almost 80. she often gets symptoms like headaches, nausea, coughing and lack of appetite which she would constantly complain about but still continue to eat spicy/fried foods whenever she "feels better". she'd say that it's fine because she already has the medication for it. which i know is not wise but she refuses to listen to me or my family members. so it's just this endless cycle of getting sick and going to the clinic for medicine and then not making efforts to get better. she'd always complain about it too but my mum just gave up and brushes her off as being dramatic.
now i wouldn't dare say anything bc i know I'd be outcasted by my family- but i feel like her behaviour is just killing her slowly. she could probably have some underlying illness that we don't know about but she absolutely refuses to go to the hospital. it's already so difficult for her to take a simple ART test for covid which made some clinic visits hectic for me and the staff there. she'd often lie to me & my brother about her symptoms too (e.g saying she had a cough for a week when it's actually been nearly a month) so the doctor would've probably diagnosed or prescribed her incorrectly.
sure call me careless and not observant towards my own grandmother but she'd just beg me to lie to the doctor and would guilt trip me. I'm still in poly and all this can be so stressful when it shouldn't be. i don't know what to tell my parents how i really feel bc i feel like they also gave up with her attitude. what can i do in this situation?? like how do i tell a medical professional about this?? any advice would be appreciated.
TLDR: grandmother is over reliant on over the counter medication and refuses to go to the hospital and be honest about her symptoms.
2023.06.05 04:49 SamuraiUX Hogwarts Legacy + Persona 5 = Much Better
I'm grateful for the fact that Hogwarts Legacy gives me something I've always wanted: the coziness and good feelings of being in Hogwarts and the surrounding area. It's beautiful.
That being said, it misses the mark on so many OTHER things I've always wanted in a Wizarding World game, and I realized that somehow many of them were solved by/done better in Persona 5, of all things. If Hogwarts Legacy had merged it's storyline/graphics with some of Persona's systems, the game would be mind-blowingly good.
Daytime Management: I hate that you have the quest "Attend Herbology" all day and all night for as many days as you leave it there. It feels fake and unrealistic and takes me out of the immersive experience. One thing Persona did great is that it structured your school day such that you had to attend classes during the morning/afternoon, and it gave you the opportunity to work jobs on certain hours and on certain days. It had a "sims" element to it that I think really would've benefitted Hogwarts: Legacy. Another idea, rather than the structured "you have to be in class" format that Persona offers would be to simply have a day with a live clock: Herbology is at 10am, e.g., and you're welcome to skip it and go adventure instead if you like -- but you miss that class' lesson and might get a talking to when you get back. That way it really has the feeling of attending classes, going to lunch with friends, attending clubs after school, and for God's sake -- sleeping every night in your bed!! It felt obvious to me that we'd wake up most mornings in our bedroom and leave via our common room. Sure, some nights we might be up late, or out in the wild, or somewhere away from the castle entirely, but I felt un-immersed (is that a word?) that we could just stay up 24 hours a day, for 2000 days on end, and rarely have to return to our bedroom.
Companions: How did Persona do better at this than Hogwarts: Legacy? We can go on a few adventures with a few students/professors, but often they won't otherwise talk to you or interact with you, and you may never see some of them again. I'd much prefer the "Confidante" system from Persona in which there are many teachers/students/non-Hogwarts people you might meet, and by choosing to spend more time with them (maybe, choosing to take them on a quest with you), you "level up" with them, increasing certain bonuses when travelling with them as a friend (one friend is great at potions! Another negotiates better prices in Hogsmeade! Etc). This means that some characters may remain unexplored and others might attain "best friend" status... but it's a little more under your control (and adds to replayability).
One random complaint that isn't a Persona comparison, necessarily: the world feels really superficial and un-lived in at times. When you eat a handful of nuts or an apple, it's... really unsatsifying. Nuts go flying randomly out of the bowl and we're to assume our character has eaten some. It feels very 2002 PS2-level graphics when they could've taken the extra time to put a hand to their mouth, show them with full cheeks, saying "Mmm!", etc. One of my favorite feelings in the books was reading about their great feasts and midnight snacks, and that whole feeling was lost and incredibly superficial in the game. Not to mention the lack of available conversations or interactions with a world full of people during the days and nights... here, I think of Witcher III which felt incredibly bustling, alive, and lived-in.
I recognize that no game can be everything (except Witcher III, which is near-perfect)(oh, and Persona 5 Royal, which is near-perfect)... but I would've loved it if Hogwarts: Legacy had pulled off a game that was likewise near-perfect in that way that makes it an unimpeachable classic. For you angry apologists, I totally get that CD Projekt Red got to make Witchers I and II and that Atlus got to make Personas prior to producing such excellent products... so I of course have hope for future improvements! But the game felt a bit flat for me, and I wanted so many more feelings of comfort, fun, thrill, and comeradeship from this game than it gave me -- despite being really beautiful, points there for sure.
submitted by SamuraiUX to HogwartsLegacyGaming [link] [comments]
That being said, it misses the mark on so many OTHER things I've always wanted in a Wizarding World game, and I realized that somehow many of them were solved by/done better in Persona 5, of all things. If Hogwarts Legacy had merged it's storyline/graphics with some of Persona's systems, the game would be mind-blowingly good.
Daytime Management: I hate that you have the quest "Attend Herbology" all day and all night for as many days as you leave it there. It feels fake and unrealistic and takes me out of the immersive experience. One thing Persona did great is that it structured your school day such that you had to attend classes during the morning/afternoon, and it gave you the opportunity to work jobs on certain hours and on certain days. It had a "sims" element to it that I think really would've benefitted Hogwarts: Legacy. Another idea, rather than the structured "you have to be in class" format that Persona offers would be to simply have a day with a live clock: Herbology is at 10am, e.g., and you're welcome to skip it and go adventure instead if you like -- but you miss that class' lesson and might get a talking to when you get back. That way it really has the feeling of attending classes, going to lunch with friends, attending clubs after school, and for God's sake -- sleeping every night in your bed!! It felt obvious to me that we'd wake up most mornings in our bedroom and leave via our common room. Sure, some nights we might be up late, or out in the wild, or somewhere away from the castle entirely, but I felt un-immersed (is that a word?) that we could just stay up 24 hours a day, for 2000 days on end, and rarely have to return to our bedroom.
Companions: How did Persona do better at this than Hogwarts: Legacy? We can go on a few adventures with a few students/professors, but often they won't otherwise talk to you or interact with you, and you may never see some of them again. I'd much prefer the "Confidante" system from Persona in which there are many teachers/students/non-Hogwarts people you might meet, and by choosing to spend more time with them (maybe, choosing to take them on a quest with you), you "level up" with them, increasing certain bonuses when travelling with them as a friend (one friend is great at potions! Another negotiates better prices in Hogsmeade! Etc). This means that some characters may remain unexplored and others might attain "best friend" status... but it's a little more under your control (and adds to replayability).
One random complaint that isn't a Persona comparison, necessarily: the world feels really superficial and un-lived in at times. When you eat a handful of nuts or an apple, it's... really unsatsifying. Nuts go flying randomly out of the bowl and we're to assume our character has eaten some. It feels very 2002 PS2-level graphics when they could've taken the extra time to put a hand to their mouth, show them with full cheeks, saying "Mmm!", etc. One of my favorite feelings in the books was reading about their great feasts and midnight snacks, and that whole feeling was lost and incredibly superficial in the game. Not to mention the lack of available conversations or interactions with a world full of people during the days and nights... here, I think of Witcher III which felt incredibly bustling, alive, and lived-in.
I recognize that no game can be everything (except Witcher III, which is near-perfect)(oh, and Persona 5 Royal, which is near-perfect)... but I would've loved it if Hogwarts: Legacy had pulled off a game that was likewise near-perfect in that way that makes it an unimpeachable classic. For you angry apologists, I totally get that CD Projekt Red got to make Witchers I and II and that Atlus got to make Personas prior to producing such excellent products... so I of course have hope for future improvements! But the game felt a bit flat for me, and I wanted so many more feelings of comfort, fun, thrill, and comeradeship from this game than it gave me -- despite being really beautiful, points there for sure.
2023.06.05 04:48 Individual-Living536 Feeling Suicidal because of loneliness
Hi, I’m not very good at speaking English but I’ll try my best. I’m just about to become 19, finishing up college and starting to become a young adult. Nearly everyday I feel that I am worthless and lonely. I don’t have much friends, shit at making friends and bullied by assholes which they spread rumours about me that lost some trust with friends and lost friends. I try and keep living with current friends I have but they don’t hit anymore. I don’t feel like I am their proper friend and they all fake. These friends don’t respond to my messages and respond within few days and they try and act like they’re busy with college and work but all they’re been doing is hanging out with each other and what ever they do. I have no one else I like some girl that used to be in my class but I barely talk to her and I think she doesn’t like me. I try do other activities by myself but it just don’t work out. I hate being constantly alone and I can’t find any group activities that I can do in my area as I live quite far away. I’m very tired living the same shit everyday. I repeatedly, wake up, do work, try and do stuff by myself, and go bed. I hate my current self the old me just would have done a lot more different than I used to do. I can’t keep on living like this and I feel there is no escaping and every night I think to myself about suicide and if I have a future with myself. And if I do, what future?
submitted by Individual-Living536 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 04:48 v3rb4l4ss4ult Add me and invite me to Azelf raid please! 1421 9272 1676
I haven’t seen any azelf raids near me but I really want one so please invite me if you can
Edit- I will only stay if you have more than 3 people because i only have limited remote raid passes
submitted by v3rb4l4ss4ult to PokemonGoFriends [link] [comments]
Edit- I will only stay if you have more than 3 people because i only have limited remote raid passes
2023.06.05 04:47 karoshikun I'm stuck
like, I already have all the items from the research desk, got the Merciless Nightstalker armor set, the Merciless Copper weapons and so on, but I'm getting my fanny handed out to me by enemies that should be near or below my level, like the bear or Polora.
I played the game last year, and I remember I had already gotten the study and better gear even before confronting the bandit king.
what am I missing?
submitted by karoshikun to vrising [link] [comments]
I played the game last year, and I remember I had already gotten the study and better gear even before confronting the bandit king.
what am I missing?
2023.06.05 04:47 NeuroSpicy_Potato Tell me everything you know about IOP/partial hospitalization
I need help. All the help. Tell me everything!
I've suffered from anxiety for about 20 years. I got lucky 20 years ago and the first medicine I tried worked. Been on the same med, upping the dosage as needed every few years, ever since. It's starting to not work anymore. Like...barely working. I'm in quite a bit of distress. Barely functional. Can't see my psychiatrist until Wednesday. It's currently Sunday night. I'm (figuratively) dying over here.
Went to one of my local psychiatric urgent cares this evening. I was referred to one of their day programs. This terrifies me. I'm a night owl, and I have autism. So being in a strange place with strange people for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 2 weeks.....yeah. I already am barely functional, and having to miss work and upending my sleep schedule is terrifying to say the least. Oh yeah....and we're not allowed to have our phones on us. My one comfort item that has helped distract me through damn near everything. In a locker. For 8 hours. Fuck.
Plus sides? I'd get therapy 5 days a week. I'd see an actual psychiatrist in person, I think daily, which can be useful when switching meds. Though I'd be surrounded by new people which is scary, they'd be people currently going through what I am. That can be both comforting and triggering though. I'd be forced to get back on a normal sleep schedule. I'd hopefully learn new coping strategies. The ones I'm using aren't quite doing the trick anymore.
Downsides? What if it doesn't work and it just ends up being torture and sends me into a deeper spiral and gives me PTSD? Let's see...strange people, strange place, etc. I'll be without my phone for 40 hours a week. They call it "partial hospitalization" instead of IOP, which concerns me.
Are the risks worth the rewards?
submitted by NeuroSpicy_Potato to Anxiety [link] [comments]
I've suffered from anxiety for about 20 years. I got lucky 20 years ago and the first medicine I tried worked. Been on the same med, upping the dosage as needed every few years, ever since. It's starting to not work anymore. Like...barely working. I'm in quite a bit of distress. Barely functional. Can't see my psychiatrist until Wednesday. It's currently Sunday night. I'm (figuratively) dying over here.
Went to one of my local psychiatric urgent cares this evening. I was referred to one of their day programs. This terrifies me. I'm a night owl, and I have autism. So being in a strange place with strange people for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 2 weeks.....yeah. I already am barely functional, and having to miss work and upending my sleep schedule is terrifying to say the least. Oh yeah....and we're not allowed to have our phones on us. My one comfort item that has helped distract me through damn near everything. In a locker. For 8 hours. Fuck.
Plus sides? I'd get therapy 5 days a week. I'd see an actual psychiatrist in person, I think daily, which can be useful when switching meds. Though I'd be surrounded by new people which is scary, they'd be people currently going through what I am. That can be both comforting and triggering though. I'd be forced to get back on a normal sleep schedule. I'd hopefully learn new coping strategies. The ones I'm using aren't quite doing the trick anymore.
Downsides? What if it doesn't work and it just ends up being torture and sends me into a deeper spiral and gives me PTSD? Let's see...strange people, strange place, etc. I'll be without my phone for 40 hours a week. They call it "partial hospitalization" instead of IOP, which concerns me.
Are the risks worth the rewards?
2023.06.05 04:47 Melonknockers Echo Studio Home Theater doesn't work... please help
I'm sure y'all have seen this a million times, but I'm begging anyone to help me. I'm a tech noob and Amazon won't help me and I feel completely stuck and frustrated and like I totally wasted hundreds of dollars. I literally haven't been able to watch a single damn movie on my projector since I bought my second Echo Studio and Sub, and it's been six months!
So, the problem: When I try to stream video, it's typically fine for 15-75 minutes until at some point it drops out, freezes, and crashes, and then I have to restart, and usually it does it again and I have to go watch somewhere else.
I've tried talking to customer support repeatedly, like REPEATEDLY, and they never have anything useful to say (obviously I've checked for software updates, and replaced my Fire Stick, and it's right near the router) or even any basic understanding that this problem exists despite the forums being filled with people who've dealt with this. I know it's just a shitty system and I made a bad choice but does anyone have *any* ideas on what I can do??
submitted by Melonknockers to amazonecho [link] [comments]
So, the problem: When I try to stream video, it's typically fine for 15-75 minutes until at some point it drops out, freezes, and crashes, and then I have to restart, and usually it does it again and I have to go watch somewhere else.
I've tried talking to customer support repeatedly, like REPEATEDLY, and they never have anything useful to say (obviously I've checked for software updates, and replaced my Fire Stick, and it's right near the router) or even any basic understanding that this problem exists despite the forums being filled with people who've dealt with this. I know it's just a shitty system and I made a bad choice but does anyone have *any* ideas on what I can do??
2023.06.05 04:47 Available_Option3912 [FL] How would I include this on my resume + Am I too late?
Hey there reddit!
I am trying to apply for a Business development representative (BDSDR) job in the USA (I am a citizen).
My questions are:
1) On my current resume, for some of the companies I previously applied to, I did not mention the company I was working for (Ie: I tried to apply to Google in October, but didn't mention that I worked for my current company for around 4 months). The reason why I did this was because, originally, I didn't think I was going to stay (I was hired as a BDR at this company as soon as I turned 18, was trained during the summer, before heading to college in D.C). I had to leave college because of my father's health condition and went back to work effective January of 2022.
A) What would I do here? Should I still apply to these companies? What would happen if I were to apply to one of these companies and they were to note that my current resume is different (not mentioning prior experience) to my previous resume?
B) Would I have a chance to explain to the company (via phone call or email) the reason i didn't mention my prior work experience after they, lets say, reject my application because they think I am lying (would that make a difference, post rejection)? How about if were to (or should) mention it to a recruiter during an interview, assuming they didn't notice the change (how would they react)?
2) I used to work on a large family YouTube channel centered in the Middle East. I had worked there for 2 years. In those 2 years, I had grown it from 1.6 million subs to 3.4 million subs and by 100 million views. I had decided to resign due to ethical issues and, with that, they are unwilling to provide verification of my work. Notably, I wasn't paid a salary and they are centered in Jordan.
A) How would I go about including this information on either my resume or in an interview? Should I? I am worried that I might include this info and then, when verification time comes around, I will be flagged for not being able to verify my experience!
B) I did apply to a few companies with this on my prior resumes. With that in mind, What would happen here? Will I ever be asked questions about why I didn't include this on my current resume, be seen as suspicious, or be required to have this experience verified?
3) I was speaking to a recruiter Thursday morning when she gave me an email that prompted me to include my resume so that she can submit it to a company. I wasn't able to submit it Thursday or throughout the weekend due to a family emergency. I still need to make edits (the information gathered from this post) and then plan to post it on Monday morning.
A) Do you think I still have a chance of being taken seriously or having the recruiter understand why I was late to submit my resume? What should I say or do?
4) Assuming I don't include my picture (or job title near my name), does this look like a good resume template for someone interested in a BDR tech job on the West coast? How about any BDR job (not tech) in the U.S?
A) https://www.canva.com/p/templates/EAFIBif6GP0-blue-white-retro-copywriter-resume/
Thank you all for your responses, I can't wait to read and respond back!
submitted by Available_Option3912 to AskHR [link] [comments]
I am trying to apply for a Business development representative (BDSDR) job in the USA (I am a citizen).
My questions are:
1) On my current resume, for some of the companies I previously applied to, I did not mention the company I was working for (Ie: I tried to apply to Google in October, but didn't mention that I worked for my current company for around 4 months). The reason why I did this was because, originally, I didn't think I was going to stay (I was hired as a BDR at this company as soon as I turned 18, was trained during the summer, before heading to college in D.C). I had to leave college because of my father's health condition and went back to work effective January of 2022.
A) What would I do here? Should I still apply to these companies? What would happen if I were to apply to one of these companies and they were to note that my current resume is different (not mentioning prior experience) to my previous resume?
B) Would I have a chance to explain to the company (via phone call or email) the reason i didn't mention my prior work experience after they, lets say, reject my application because they think I am lying (would that make a difference, post rejection)? How about if were to (or should) mention it to a recruiter during an interview, assuming they didn't notice the change (how would they react)?
2) I used to work on a large family YouTube channel centered in the Middle East. I had worked there for 2 years. In those 2 years, I had grown it from 1.6 million subs to 3.4 million subs and by 100 million views. I had decided to resign due to ethical issues and, with that, they are unwilling to provide verification of my work. Notably, I wasn't paid a salary and they are centered in Jordan.
A) How would I go about including this information on either my resume or in an interview? Should I? I am worried that I might include this info and then, when verification time comes around, I will be flagged for not being able to verify my experience!
B) I did apply to a few companies with this on my prior resumes. With that in mind, What would happen here? Will I ever be asked questions about why I didn't include this on my current resume, be seen as suspicious, or be required to have this experience verified?
3) I was speaking to a recruiter Thursday morning when she gave me an email that prompted me to include my resume so that she can submit it to a company. I wasn't able to submit it Thursday or throughout the weekend due to a family emergency. I still need to make edits (the information gathered from this post) and then plan to post it on Monday morning.
A) Do you think I still have a chance of being taken seriously or having the recruiter understand why I was late to submit my resume? What should I say or do?
4) Assuming I don't include my picture (or job title near my name), does this look like a good resume template for someone interested in a BDR tech job on the West coast? How about any BDR job (not tech) in the U.S?
A) https://www.canva.com/p/templates/EAFIBif6GP0-blue-white-retro-copywriter-resume/
Thank you all for your responses, I can't wait to read and respond back!
2023.06.05 04:47 nynj25 Restaurant Recommendations for Bigger Parties
Hey all, I am looking for suggestions for restaurants in Hoboken, jersey city or near by areas that can seat a party of 10-12 people.
If anyone has had a good experience at any local restaurant, please let me know! BYOB is a major plus but not necessary.
All our fav spots are pretty small or don’t take reservation. 😐
submitted by nynj25 to Hoboken [link] [comments]
If anyone has had a good experience at any local restaurant, please let me know! BYOB is a major plus but not necessary.
All our fav spots are pretty small or don’t take reservation. 😐
2023.06.05 04:46 DarkMagicMatter Honor point suggestions for beacon modes
Just some suggested changes I thought regarding beacon rush and domination: 1. Biggest complaint I've heard regarding beacons is Skyros/Loki abusing beacon recaps, so make it so players earn a fixed amount of honor points given every, say 10 seconds, and initial beacon cap points are halved from the current amounts so after around 50 seconds of staying capped the honor point balances out to current totals. This way holding beacons vs rotating beacons constantly is incentivized. 2. Make honor points from damage/kills on a multiplier. For instance, killing an enemy or doing 10k damage to an enemy(ies) within 100? meters rewards you with the same amount of honor points that we get currently, but doing the same to an enemy nowhere near a beacon only gets you 0.9x the amount of honors, or simply reduced honor points. This still incentivizes doing damage, but around beacons instead of randomly sniping enemies or going for aces. 3. Same thing as number 2, but for healing/applying status effects/tanking damage. As far as I'm aware, nothing exists for tanking damage, so incentivizing players to actually push beacons for points would be a great change. Status effects would ideally give low amounts of points, but this part is optional.
Mostly a rant post due to the number of games I've placed 4th-6th despite highest beacon caps, but decided to post anyways. Let me know how these changes would sound.
submitted by DarkMagicMatter to walkingwarrobots [link] [comments]
Mostly a rant post due to the number of games I've placed 4th-6th despite highest beacon caps, but decided to post anyways. Let me know how these changes would sound.
2023.06.05 04:45 he_calls_me_bee School bus
Hey folks, I've got a bone to pick with those gigantic school buses we see on the roads. Seriously, have you seen them? They're as huge as BMTC buses, and they're squeezing through tiny gullies where even two cars struggle to pass. It's causing a major headache in the mornings. Just today, I had to wait nearly 20 minutes to go to my cross because these buses were blocking everything. And let me tell you, their drivers have a need for speed, driving recklessly and even hitting two-wheelers also it’s very unsafe for the kids in the morning to even go out. It's a mess, and we need a solution ASAP.
If you've experienced the same frustrations or have any suggestions on how we can tackle this problem, please share your thoughts
submitted by he_calls_me_bee to bangalore [link] [comments]
If you've experienced the same frustrations or have any suggestions on how we can tackle this problem, please share your thoughts
2023.06.05 04:45 BozTheKing [REQUEST][STEAM] Street Fighter 6
Hey there guys, I humbly request a copy of Street Fighter 6. As for why I want the game, I love fighting games. I love learning them, I love watching people play them, and as a kid growing up I loved going to arcades and just spent entire weekends and vacations playing Street Fighter and King of Fighters with friends. I love playing games that require technical knowledge as well as mechanical skills. However, that changed when I became disabled. Without going into too much details, due to excessive amount of abuse and job injuries I became disabled and my motor skills have suffered as a result. I can no longer play my favorite games, like Monster Hunter or Dead Cells, or many action games for example. My reaction times with my hands just aren't what they used to be. I gave up playing fighting games with my friends entirely. Heck, typing this up is even difficult. So why Street Fighter 6 if I can't play games that require decent motor skills? The accessibility options that Street Fighter 6 offers are so amazing that I nearly cried when watching The Completionist's review of the game. I thought it was going to be impossible for me to be able to ever play a fighting game with any of my friends ever again, but Capcom has out done themselves with the modern control scheme for the game. It would allow me to actually play the game without having to put a major handicap on my opponents while also making it still balanced and a fun experience. The reason I am unable to buy the game for myself is that the small amount of income I receive is only enough to cover bills and I cannot justify spending $60 on a game right now. So that is why I am here, requesting Street Fighter 6 as being able to play games with my friends again is something that I miss with my entire soul. I don't even necessarily want the ultimate whatever super mondo edition, the base game is more than enough. Thank you for taking the time to read this post, and I wish you all good times.
Steam Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/id/BozTheKing/
submitted by BozTheKing to GiftofGames [link] [comments]
Steam Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/id/BozTheKing/
2023.06.05 04:45 Toadman757 Dog found in white rock
 | Found this little girl near rover and grand canyon at about 8 this evening. No collar or tags. She came right up to me and let me pick her up. Any help to get her back to her home would be awesome. submitted by Toadman757 to LosAlamos [link] [comments] |
2023.06.05 04:45 Ilovecoloring122 court date in 3 days to get more time with my kids after fighting for nearly 4 years
So this all started back in 2019 before covid, me and the ex started the process for divorce. Now when we initially split up she decided on this very restrictive schedule for me to spend time with my kids, i didn't have a lawyer at the time and i was so fragile and distraught from the entire ordeal, finding out she cheated on me, kicking me out of the apartment etc. So i just agreed because i didn't know any better and was emotionally a mess. The schedule i had was (looking back on it) an absolute joke it was Week 1. 5pm-7pm Wednesdays Week 2 Friday 5pm-sunday 5pm
That's it, after several months of this and therapy on my side, i got the strength and money to get a lawyer, and we fought for a more fair schedule, we managed to get me an extra day, so week 1 we added overnights on Thursday, not the best but it was something. I am not going to go into all the other details of the divorce but essentially at this point i had finally moved to my own apartment (2bedroom so the kids could have their own room) and i was getting my mental health in a much better spot as time went on so i started to fight her more for more time. We had to attend mediation which we did not agree to anything, then i requested a GAL to get involved. The court initially refused my request for more time since we had been on the current schedule for a while. So per my request the GAL got involved, did home visits and established that my place is fine, the kids love me, i love the kids, there bonded to me, and i provide a good/safe/healthy environment. So she put in a recommendation that i get more time. so the schedule i got, and have been on for nearly 2 years now is
Week 1 Wed 5pm-friday 9am Week 2 Thursday 5pm-sunday 5pm +vacation and birthday/holiday schedules
Which is a lot better, but its still not really what i wanted but i had to accept it and just move on. over the past 18 months i have been taking every opportunity for more time with the kids that come up, sometimes she will ask me if i can watch them an extra day for w/e reason, sometimes its a logistics reason to make life easier etc, i tracked this data until..well even now, i did this so i could prove to the court that there is no issues with me having time, and i actively seek time out. There is no safety issues or concerns from her, otherwise why would she be agreeing so much to give me random days here and there. Now we lived in the same city so logistics were not to bad, but then early last year she moved about 45 min away, so now the kids had to go to school 45 min away from me when they were with me. Since she is listed as "primary" cause there needs to be 1 i had to adjust things to include 45 min to school in the morning, 45 min home to get to work, then 45 min to pick them up, and 45 min home. i had to do this only 2.5 times every 2 week cycle (since she would pick them up on week 1 Fridays)... so needless to say this was very hard.
i decided to save up and move closer to the kids, i found a house and moved so im only 10 min (with traffic) from my kids so the schedule is alot easier to maintain logistics, as well as nearly doubling my living space and having 3 bedrooms so each kids gets their own room + a play room, and a basement.
So in feb of this year i pulled the trigger on taking us back to court so i could get more time with the kids, i want an even 50/50 and there is no reason why i shouldn't be able. The fact that i have been seeking extra time and getting it by her either asking me directly, or me asking her and she agrees, as well as me moving 40 min away to be closer to them, +upgrading my place for the 2nd time to make sure they have enough room was enough to get it started. Now we had to go through mediation (again) of which i knew we would not agree but its a necessary stage to get to the court date, which is on tuesday. I am seeking a true 5050, which equals out to 1 more overnight/week. She did counter offer my request with more time with the kids, but its not consistent, its 1 more week of summer vaca/extra days here and there when the kids dont have school the next day for some reason, it averages out to half of what im asking so if this fails at the very least i should be able to get that as back up, but there really is no reason why i shouldn't be able to get more time with my kids, hopefully this is the last time i need to go through the court systems for stuff like this, but i will continue to fight the good fight in order to spend more time with my kids.
submitted by Ilovecoloring122 to offmychest [link] [comments]
That's it, after several months of this and therapy on my side, i got the strength and money to get a lawyer, and we fought for a more fair schedule, we managed to get me an extra day, so week 1 we added overnights on Thursday, not the best but it was something. I am not going to go into all the other details of the divorce but essentially at this point i had finally moved to my own apartment (2bedroom so the kids could have their own room) and i was getting my mental health in a much better spot as time went on so i started to fight her more for more time. We had to attend mediation which we did not agree to anything, then i requested a GAL to get involved. The court initially refused my request for more time since we had been on the current schedule for a while. So per my request the GAL got involved, did home visits and established that my place is fine, the kids love me, i love the kids, there bonded to me, and i provide a good/safe/healthy environment. So she put in a recommendation that i get more time. so the schedule i got, and have been on for nearly 2 years now is
Week 1 Wed 5pm-friday 9am Week 2 Thursday 5pm-sunday 5pm +vacation and birthday/holiday schedules
Which is a lot better, but its still not really what i wanted but i had to accept it and just move on. over the past 18 months i have been taking every opportunity for more time with the kids that come up, sometimes she will ask me if i can watch them an extra day for w/e reason, sometimes its a logistics reason to make life easier etc, i tracked this data until..well even now, i did this so i could prove to the court that there is no issues with me having time, and i actively seek time out. There is no safety issues or concerns from her, otherwise why would she be agreeing so much to give me random days here and there. Now we lived in the same city so logistics were not to bad, but then early last year she moved about 45 min away, so now the kids had to go to school 45 min away from me when they were with me. Since she is listed as "primary" cause there needs to be 1 i had to adjust things to include 45 min to school in the morning, 45 min home to get to work, then 45 min to pick them up, and 45 min home. i had to do this only 2.5 times every 2 week cycle (since she would pick them up on week 1 Fridays)... so needless to say this was very hard.
i decided to save up and move closer to the kids, i found a house and moved so im only 10 min (with traffic) from my kids so the schedule is alot easier to maintain logistics, as well as nearly doubling my living space and having 3 bedrooms so each kids gets their own room + a play room, and a basement.
So in feb of this year i pulled the trigger on taking us back to court so i could get more time with the kids, i want an even 50/50 and there is no reason why i shouldn't be able. The fact that i have been seeking extra time and getting it by her either asking me directly, or me asking her and she agrees, as well as me moving 40 min away to be closer to them, +upgrading my place for the 2nd time to make sure they have enough room was enough to get it started. Now we had to go through mediation (again) of which i knew we would not agree but its a necessary stage to get to the court date, which is on tuesday. I am seeking a true 5050, which equals out to 1 more overnight/week. She did counter offer my request with more time with the kids, but its not consistent, its 1 more week of summer vaca/extra days here and there when the kids dont have school the next day for some reason, it averages out to half of what im asking so if this fails at the very least i should be able to get that as back up, but there really is no reason why i shouldn't be able to get more time with my kids, hopefully this is the last time i need to go through the court systems for stuff like this, but i will continue to fight the good fight in order to spend more time with my kids.
2023.06.05 04:45 crabbyreader Developing a easy to use, lightweight, digital collector...
Look, I have got to admit that I have been running nearly my entire adult life. I have run roads, and trails. I typically like to pick up an piece of trash with every outing. I rarely do. Why? It is easy to do, but, where you gonna put it?. In your pocket? In your hand?
If I'm out for a run I don't want that, potentially icky, piece of trash hanging around any longer than necessary. How do I stash this thing?
Also, why pick up just the very occasional speck of trash? One, two, or maybe three specks hardly seem to matter. So, don't bother even picking it up at all.
Next time I'm out it doesn't surprise me to see that same speck and likely new specks.
I am currently working to create a lightweight grabber pole/walking stick with a collection chamber. The collection chamber, attached low on the thigh to allow easy grabber access to the disposal port, is situated away from natural arm motions. Ideally, I expect to digitize this and provide app connectivity. Then I can set personal goals..and count my specks.
submitted by crabbyreader to IT_MATTERS [link] [comments]
If I'm out for a run I don't want that, potentially icky, piece of trash hanging around any longer than necessary. How do I stash this thing?
Also, why pick up just the very occasional speck of trash? One, two, or maybe three specks hardly seem to matter. So, don't bother even picking it up at all.
Next time I'm out it doesn't surprise me to see that same speck and likely new specks.
I am currently working to create a lightweight grabber pole/walking stick with a collection chamber. The collection chamber, attached low on the thigh to allow easy grabber access to the disposal port, is situated away from natural arm motions. Ideally, I expect to digitize this and provide app connectivity. Then I can set personal goals..and count my specks.
2023.06.05 04:44 joelala1 Am I on the right track?
I am looking to replace my Eero system with Unify. Primarily because my Eero system is great when it's great, and terrible when it's not.
I will eventually want to setup a few VLANs - Private, Guest, IoT (maybe an additional one for kids). I unfortunately have 2 areas where my cat5 is bundled and I have 1 cat5 running between 2 switches to connect them. I have 3 Eero pros right now, and 2 beacons.
After reading through the sub quite a bit and doing some research online I am thinking my setup will include the following
Fiber - Firewalla gold(already own this) - Unifi Flex Mini Switch (I will need 2 of these due to having 2 areas where cat5 runs to in my basement.
I THINK I want to use the Cloud Key G2 Plus controller and have 1 In-Wall AP's, and 2 U6+ APs. The reason I ant 1 in-wall AP is because I like to hard wire devices near this access point. The other 2, I do not care as much about hard wiring in those areas though I do have a Cat5 there so the AP will be hardwired. I might need 1-2 U6 extenders to extend wifi to areas like my detached garage where I currently use a beacon.
Can you experts tell me if I am on the right path here? Am I wasting time/money moving away from Eero? Am i completely off in regards to my setup? Are there better ways to do this?
Also - Is this interface for Unifi easy to setup and navigate? I imagine I will do most of my setup within firewalla once I am up and running.
I tried to do as much research before posting as I could. But Unifi is very new to me, I am tech savvy but I am not a network pro by any means.
submitted by joelala1 to Ubiquiti [link] [comments]
I will eventually want to setup a few VLANs - Private, Guest, IoT (maybe an additional one for kids). I unfortunately have 2 areas where my cat5 is bundled and I have 1 cat5 running between 2 switches to connect them. I have 3 Eero pros right now, and 2 beacons.
After reading through the sub quite a bit and doing some research online I am thinking my setup will include the following
Fiber - Firewalla gold(already own this) - Unifi Flex Mini Switch (I will need 2 of these due to having 2 areas where cat5 runs to in my basement.
I THINK I want to use the Cloud Key G2 Plus controller and have 1 In-Wall AP's, and 2 U6+ APs. The reason I ant 1 in-wall AP is because I like to hard wire devices near this access point. The other 2, I do not care as much about hard wiring in those areas though I do have a Cat5 there so the AP will be hardwired. I might need 1-2 U6 extenders to extend wifi to areas like my detached garage where I currently use a beacon.
Can you experts tell me if I am on the right path here? Am I wasting time/money moving away from Eero? Am i completely off in regards to my setup? Are there better ways to do this?
Also - Is this interface for Unifi easy to setup and navigate? I imagine I will do most of my setup within firewalla once I am up and running.
I tried to do as much research before posting as I could. But Unifi is very new to me, I am tech savvy but I am not a network pro by any means.
2023.06.05 04:44 ThrowRAwasteofspace Wondering if I'm (M25) ready for marriage to the mother (F23) of 2 of my children(3 & newborn), or if we should (for the best) go our separate ways in the future.
Throwaway account, as i don't want this connected to my other accounts.
My thoughts are erratic, forgive me for bouncing all over the point but I'm trying to include everything I've been thinking and feeling with my reasoning so please bear with me. Gonna be a long one. If you take the time to read all this and provide genuine, thoughtful feedback, know that I'm beyond appreciative.
I had my first child at 19, and his mother and I didn't stay together. He was given a hyphenated combination of our last names, and now all these years later his mother is engaged to another man with their own newborn, and my son calls said man "his other daddy". I understand that as even though i am active in my son's life, my own dad wasn't around and i ended up calling my temporary step-dad "daddy" for a period of time. My son's mom and her fiancé of course have been living together for a while so i don't see anything wrong with that, nor am i bothered by it as long as my son and Mr. Fiancé don't forget who his actual father is.
All that to say that this has led to me being unwilling to have my other children calling another man "daddy", which is one of a few reasons making me feel like i have to stay in my current relationship and eventually tie the knot with my girlfriend - even if i am currently unhappy more often than not and feel as if marriage would be dooming myself to a life of tolerance rather than contentment.
I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Before I talk (or complain) about everything I'm unhappy about, I'd like to make it known that I've been 10 relationships before my current one, and i ended 8 of them with 2 of them ended by the girl- much to my chagrin. Those 2 had a pretty big impact on me but not as much as 2 that i ended due to being cheated on. The rest I ended i guess out of boredom? This made me feel as if I wasn't cut out for relationships and I should be alone, but then I end up lonely wanting a relationship. I ended one relationship with a cheater right before the relationship that gave me my firstborn. I never took the time to heal from that and I wasn't ready for a child at the time, so even though i love my son and have always been active in his life, i never thought his mother and I would have a longstanding relationship.
We separated and then i met and began a relationship with the second cheater. At the time I was 21 and she was 33, but i could've swore she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Thing was, she was still living with her ex and I'm sure you can imagine how that went. That whole relationship left me feeling emasculated.
I left that relationship and began a relationship with my current girlfriend not even 3 months later. Needless to say I did no healing, took no time for myself. To make things worse we moved in together within another 3 months, and she found out she was pregnant by the end of the year.
I was actually perfectly content with my only child and had no desire to sire another child at this point in time, but my girlfriend had gotten pregnant in her previous relationship and ended up losing the baby, so her baby fever was at an all time high and she would get depressed whenever we would have sex and I'd cum anywhere other than inside of her. She'd roll over and put her back to me and sulk about it until she went to sleep, sometimes even crying about it. This made me feel Tee-totally terrible so I eventually just 🤷🏾♂️ and started finishing inside her to give her the child she wanted. This pregnancy gave me my daughter and I love her to death, she's amazing. We were staying in an apartment complex with roommates, but after finding out she was pregnant we went to stay with her mom. I broke up with her after welcoming the baby due to feelings of discontentment, although we got together again a few months later.
We got our own place and stayed there about a year and a half before I broke up with her again because i felt like i just wasn't the man for her. I told her i didn't want to marry and i don't want anymore kids, mainly just to drive the point as these are things she wants. We separated for 3 or 4 months this time, in which period of time I had sex once with an ex and she had sex once with a coworker. Despite that, we got back together because i had "thought about it" and decided that i didn't mind marrying and having more children. Fast forward a year and we moved to a better home and welcomed our second child together, my 3rd child and 2nd son.
I've thought about and pretty much accepted the concept/fate of marrying my girlfriend. She's been insistent bordering on impatient which I understand. This last time we got back together I told her we'd be wed before our son got here, which was rash on my part. I rush a lot of things but marriage isn't one of them.
I don't know if it's because my girlfriend is the partner in question, but marriage just feels like a huge shackle to me and divorce is a hassle from what I've heard. I don't want to marry just for it to be unhappy and end up in divorce.
Back to: I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Here comes the complaining.
I'm an introvert, through and through. I like reading books, i like quiet time, i enjoy having time to myself, I enjoy doing/accomplishing things alone.
My girlfriend has to be the antithesis. She can talk on and on and on for hours on end without nary a breath in between. This isn't as much of an issue as the subject of her conversation- most of the time, there isn't one. It's like 95% of her thoughts come out of her mouth and she expects me to reply and vividly react to it all. It's really kind of draining. I get that as the man i should be glad that I'm the one she's talking to, but sometimes I'd rather enjoy the song that's playing or just have time alone with my thoughts. So most of her dialogue has no real meaning to me, and she often talks/asks questions about things that would be clear to her with just a little observation on her end. A little thought. She's so busy spitting out that 95% thought that she can't use the remaining 5 to come to her own conclusions.
For example, we're riding in the car. It's sunny outside, yet starts to rain. She says, "The devil must be beating his wife". I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because what kind of sense does that make? She says, "What you've never heard that?" No, because it doesn't make sense. The devil is in theory beneath us so even if he did have a wife and beat her, why would these tears be coming from the sky? Perhaps I'm just a dull rock and too analytical but i feel like we could've both saved our breath on that whole exchange.
Another example. We went to eat, i got a coke to go. It was riding in the front cup holder until i finished it, and threw the empty cup into the trash. A whole ten, fifteen minutes later she asks, "Did you finish your coke?" I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because are you telling me you didn't see me throw it away while you're right beside me? Do you not see the empty cup holder? I say yea, to which she asks me to hand her her water bottle. I just feel as if she could've taken the time to do some looking and thinking on her own, and just ask me for her water.
We're driving with a gps, she says that she needs me to help her because she doesn't know if it's this exit or the next one. 😐 idk if i can do this for the rest of my life. The route is highlighted on the screen, instead of oh so many feet, the distance is point something miles, and the exit number is on the screen. I tell her to think about it. She takes the wrong exit and gets mad at me.
Other times she is literally just voicing her inner dialogue like "I want a coke", "I'm hot, need to turn on the air", "My head is itching" and she just looks at me waiting for me to say something when I feel like none of this really warrants a reply. I hate small talk but maybe I'm just a stick in the mud.
She asks for help ridiculously often when she doesn't really need any. She could do things on her own most of the time just by freeing up one of her hands or literally thinking about the issue more. She probably tells me "hold this" 15 to 93 times a day. Just put it down? We were eating chinese takeout one night, and with a table right in front of her, she tells me to hold her plate. You know they give you enough food to feed a small village in those flimsy ass trays so the styrofoam bends and she drops her plate on my legs and in the floor before i can get a hold of it. I can't tell you how many times she's asked me for help with something that literally has instructions on it; she just didn't take the time to read it. I point it out and she's like "Oh 😜". It's gotten to the point where other than "think about it", when she asks for help i ask "do you really" and when i feel like she doesn't i resort to a childhood saying of my mother: "USE YOUR NOODLE! And when you're done with your noodle, put it back in your soup and finish your dinner".
To sum these points up, my pride doesn't want my kids acknowledging yet another dad, my girlfriend spits faster than Eminem when I'm a quiet guy, and her problem solving skills are near nonexistent when I'm a self-dependent, figure it out type of guy. I guess these personality differences might stem from our upbringing, as she was raised in a volatile home with her brother, bouncing between her mother and grandmother who both talk just as much as she, while i was raised alone with my mother who also enjoyed quiet time and liked reading and such. BUT-
In addition to this, I don't feel like my girlfriend and I are as sexually compatible as we could be. Our preferences and things we want aren't that different, but i have a much broader taste than she does and I don't ever think I'll achieve sexual freedom with her. I know that some of my fantasies are off the table for her, and others I'm too ashamed to even open up about due to what she's made clear of her stance. She doesn't like the lights on during, she doesn't like eye contact, she isn't very vocal. I wanna see her, look her in the eye, when i talk to her she doesn't talk back and doesn't mention it till we're done. These differences probably come from our experience and lack of with porn and sexual partners. I think I'm her third or fourth relationship. The guy before me she was with for 5 years. I started watching porn at 12 or 13, was running a NSFW tumblr page before tumblr stopped being cool, regularly masturbated. I don't think my girlfriend ever really touched herself before me, and the only time i know of her masturbating was to send me a video like 2 years ago. I want more from out sex life but trying to bring it up is met with mild disgust before rejection. Ideally I want my partner to want to masturbate sometimes, for us both to have toys, for us to explore with ourselves and other people and explore our fantasies. My girlfriend doesn't even have any. This makes me reluctant to marry because I don't wanna give up on all of this without having experienced it.
On top of this is her style of living. Bathroom sink and tub full of hair. Throwing something away- KOBE! -she misses and doesn't pick it up. Preparing food and leaving the scraps and trash on the counter for roaches, rats and ants, i can't stand it. Her side of the bed looks like the empty water bottle monster threw up and she loves to eat before bed but rarely takes her dishes to the kitchen before sleeping, and just throws her trash in the general direction of the can without bothering to just lean over and place it in or at least see if she made it. I'll say something and she'll do better for 2 days and a half, then i feel like i wasted my words. 8 used wash rags left in the shower, not flushing the toilet, she just really kinda sucks at cleaning up after herself until the stars align or mercury is in retrograde or some divine intervention where she wants to do everything in a day. She's a manager at McD's now so she's working a bit more, but she used to be a server with multiple off days through the week while I've had the same job for 6 years working 6 days out the week from 7a-3p, sometimes working 3-3 or 7-7 and it's frustrating to come home with her having laid on the couch all day amidst a house that a torndado ran through. Then when I get home she wants us to clean together, nah I'm tryna sit down somewhere. I still help pickup but why could you not do this in the 10, 12 hours i was gone? At least start on it and i can come in with the assist like an alley-oop.
To top it off is her style of parenting/communication. Her dad is a loud man and he's to thank for the genes I guess, but she's quick to resort to yelling whenever things bother her or the kids don't listen, as if the louder you are the easier it is to understand. Like I said I'm a quiet guy and i consider myself rational so i like to slow down and calmly talk about things, talk to kids with a level head and tone when they're wrong and talk to her in a calm tone whenever we have any altercations. She normally beats me to the punch with child reprimands since those thoughts have been bubbling in her mouth, and i don't like the yelling at all. After she gets done yelling I'll usually come behind to tell the kids what went wrong and why it was/why they shouldn't do that. But due to my level-headedness she sees that as me not caring, and when i ask her to calm her tone she says it's just how she reacts when upset. The kids act drastically different when they're alone with me versus alone with her, going from minding to whiny/crying whenever she gets to yelling.
Besides the yelling and too high expectations for small children, i do think she's a good mom, i just wish she'd handle things differently sometimes.
To sum these points up, I'm worried about sexual fulfillment, cleanliness (having to pick up after 3 kids and an adult), and temperament/attitude once married.
I know these things take effort but I feel like she just isn't as conscious about it as I am, and when i try to explain why i think she could/should do things differently/more efficiently, she takes it as me criticizing her and belittling her. It feels like I'm in a relationship with a child sometimes as far as her tendencies go.
Is marriage really the best option? Should we spend some time apart or end things for good?
Despite all of this we don't have a bad 1 on 1 relationship, when it's good it's great but when it's bad i can't help but wonder. I get pensive. Is marriage the best course of action for my life, for her life, for our kids? Would we all be able to grow and develop better with mom and dad separated? Is there someone better for me, someone better for her out there?
I've already gotten the supplies I had in mind ready to propose to her in a way she would love and i am happy with, i just have yet to buy a ring. It's a huge commitment that i don't want to end in disaster and resentment.
submitted by ThrowRAwasteofspace to Marriage [link] [comments]
My thoughts are erratic, forgive me for bouncing all over the point but I'm trying to include everything I've been thinking and feeling with my reasoning so please bear with me. Gonna be a long one. If you take the time to read all this and provide genuine, thoughtful feedback, know that I'm beyond appreciative.
I had my first child at 19, and his mother and I didn't stay together. He was given a hyphenated combination of our last names, and now all these years later his mother is engaged to another man with their own newborn, and my son calls said man "his other daddy". I understand that as even though i am active in my son's life, my own dad wasn't around and i ended up calling my temporary step-dad "daddy" for a period of time. My son's mom and her fiancé of course have been living together for a while so i don't see anything wrong with that, nor am i bothered by it as long as my son and Mr. Fiancé don't forget who his actual father is.
All that to say that this has led to me being unwilling to have my other children calling another man "daddy", which is one of a few reasons making me feel like i have to stay in my current relationship and eventually tie the knot with my girlfriend - even if i am currently unhappy more often than not and feel as if marriage would be dooming myself to a life of tolerance rather than contentment.
I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Before I talk (or complain) about everything I'm unhappy about, I'd like to make it known that I've been 10 relationships before my current one, and i ended 8 of them with 2 of them ended by the girl- much to my chagrin. Those 2 had a pretty big impact on me but not as much as 2 that i ended due to being cheated on. The rest I ended i guess out of boredom? This made me feel as if I wasn't cut out for relationships and I should be alone, but then I end up lonely wanting a relationship. I ended one relationship with a cheater right before the relationship that gave me my firstborn. I never took the time to heal from that and I wasn't ready for a child at the time, so even though i love my son and have always been active in his life, i never thought his mother and I would have a longstanding relationship.
We separated and then i met and began a relationship with the second cheater. At the time I was 21 and she was 33, but i could've swore she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Thing was, she was still living with her ex and I'm sure you can imagine how that went. That whole relationship left me feeling emasculated.
I left that relationship and began a relationship with my current girlfriend not even 3 months later. Needless to say I did no healing, took no time for myself. To make things worse we moved in together within another 3 months, and she found out she was pregnant by the end of the year.
I was actually perfectly content with my only child and had no desire to sire another child at this point in time, but my girlfriend had gotten pregnant in her previous relationship and ended up losing the baby, so her baby fever was at an all time high and she would get depressed whenever we would have sex and I'd cum anywhere other than inside of her. She'd roll over and put her back to me and sulk about it until she went to sleep, sometimes even crying about it. This made me feel Tee-totally terrible so I eventually just 🤷🏾♂️ and started finishing inside her to give her the child she wanted. This pregnancy gave me my daughter and I love her to death, she's amazing. We were staying in an apartment complex with roommates, but after finding out she was pregnant we went to stay with her mom. I broke up with her after welcoming the baby due to feelings of discontentment, although we got together again a few months later.
We got our own place and stayed there about a year and a half before I broke up with her again because i felt like i just wasn't the man for her. I told her i didn't want to marry and i don't want anymore kids, mainly just to drive the point as these are things she wants. We separated for 3 or 4 months this time, in which period of time I had sex once with an ex and she had sex once with a coworker. Despite that, we got back together because i had "thought about it" and decided that i didn't mind marrying and having more children. Fast forward a year and we moved to a better home and welcomed our second child together, my 3rd child and 2nd son.
I've thought about and pretty much accepted the concept/fate of marrying my girlfriend. She's been insistent bordering on impatient which I understand. This last time we got back together I told her we'd be wed before our son got here, which was rash on my part. I rush a lot of things but marriage isn't one of them.
I don't know if it's because my girlfriend is the partner in question, but marriage just feels like a huge shackle to me and divorce is a hassle from what I've heard. I don't want to marry just for it to be unhappy and end up in divorce.
Back to: I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Here comes the complaining.
I'm an introvert, through and through. I like reading books, i like quiet time, i enjoy having time to myself, I enjoy doing/accomplishing things alone.
My girlfriend has to be the antithesis. She can talk on and on and on for hours on end without nary a breath in between. This isn't as much of an issue as the subject of her conversation- most of the time, there isn't one. It's like 95% of her thoughts come out of her mouth and she expects me to reply and vividly react to it all. It's really kind of draining. I get that as the man i should be glad that I'm the one she's talking to, but sometimes I'd rather enjoy the song that's playing or just have time alone with my thoughts. So most of her dialogue has no real meaning to me, and she often talks/asks questions about things that would be clear to her with just a little observation on her end. A little thought. She's so busy spitting out that 95% thought that she can't use the remaining 5 to come to her own conclusions.
For example, we're riding in the car. It's sunny outside, yet starts to rain. She says, "The devil must be beating his wife". I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because what kind of sense does that make? She says, "What you've never heard that?" No, because it doesn't make sense. The devil is in theory beneath us so even if he did have a wife and beat her, why would these tears be coming from the sky? Perhaps I'm just a dull rock and too analytical but i feel like we could've both saved our breath on that whole exchange.
Another example. We went to eat, i got a coke to go. It was riding in the front cup holder until i finished it, and threw the empty cup into the trash. A whole ten, fifteen minutes later she asks, "Did you finish your coke?" I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because are you telling me you didn't see me throw it away while you're right beside me? Do you not see the empty cup holder? I say yea, to which she asks me to hand her her water bottle. I just feel as if she could've taken the time to do some looking and thinking on her own, and just ask me for her water.
We're driving with a gps, she says that she needs me to help her because she doesn't know if it's this exit or the next one. 😐 idk if i can do this for the rest of my life. The route is highlighted on the screen, instead of oh so many feet, the distance is point something miles, and the exit number is on the screen. I tell her to think about it. She takes the wrong exit and gets mad at me.
Other times she is literally just voicing her inner dialogue like "I want a coke", "I'm hot, need to turn on the air", "My head is itching" and she just looks at me waiting for me to say something when I feel like none of this really warrants a reply. I hate small talk but maybe I'm just a stick in the mud.
She asks for help ridiculously often when she doesn't really need any. She could do things on her own most of the time just by freeing up one of her hands or literally thinking about the issue more. She probably tells me "hold this" 15 to 93 times a day. Just put it down? We were eating chinese takeout one night, and with a table right in front of her, she tells me to hold her plate. You know they give you enough food to feed a small village in those flimsy ass trays so the styrofoam bends and she drops her plate on my legs and in the floor before i can get a hold of it. I can't tell you how many times she's asked me for help with something that literally has instructions on it; she just didn't take the time to read it. I point it out and she's like "Oh 😜". It's gotten to the point where other than "think about it", when she asks for help i ask "do you really" and when i feel like she doesn't i resort to a childhood saying of my mother: "USE YOUR NOODLE! And when you're done with your noodle, put it back in your soup and finish your dinner".
To sum these points up, my pride doesn't want my kids acknowledging yet another dad, my girlfriend spits faster than Eminem when I'm a quiet guy, and her problem solving skills are near nonexistent when I'm a self-dependent, figure it out type of guy. I guess these personality differences might stem from our upbringing, as she was raised in a volatile home with her brother, bouncing between her mother and grandmother who both talk just as much as she, while i was raised alone with my mother who also enjoyed quiet time and liked reading and such. BUT-
In addition to this, I don't feel like my girlfriend and I are as sexually compatible as we could be. Our preferences and things we want aren't that different, but i have a much broader taste than she does and I don't ever think I'll achieve sexual freedom with her. I know that some of my fantasies are off the table for her, and others I'm too ashamed to even open up about due to what she's made clear of her stance. She doesn't like the lights on during, she doesn't like eye contact, she isn't very vocal. I wanna see her, look her in the eye, when i talk to her she doesn't talk back and doesn't mention it till we're done. These differences probably come from our experience and lack of with porn and sexual partners. I think I'm her third or fourth relationship. The guy before me she was with for 5 years. I started watching porn at 12 or 13, was running a NSFW tumblr page before tumblr stopped being cool, regularly masturbated. I don't think my girlfriend ever really touched herself before me, and the only time i know of her masturbating was to send me a video like 2 years ago. I want more from out sex life but trying to bring it up is met with mild disgust before rejection. Ideally I want my partner to want to masturbate sometimes, for us both to have toys, for us to explore with ourselves and other people and explore our fantasies. My girlfriend doesn't even have any. This makes me reluctant to marry because I don't wanna give up on all of this without having experienced it.
On top of this is her style of living. Bathroom sink and tub full of hair. Throwing something away- KOBE! -she misses and doesn't pick it up. Preparing food and leaving the scraps and trash on the counter for roaches, rats and ants, i can't stand it. Her side of the bed looks like the empty water bottle monster threw up and she loves to eat before bed but rarely takes her dishes to the kitchen before sleeping, and just throws her trash in the general direction of the can without bothering to just lean over and place it in or at least see if she made it. I'll say something and she'll do better for 2 days and a half, then i feel like i wasted my words. 8 used wash rags left in the shower, not flushing the toilet, she just really kinda sucks at cleaning up after herself until the stars align or mercury is in retrograde or some divine intervention where she wants to do everything in a day. She's a manager at McD's now so she's working a bit more, but she used to be a server with multiple off days through the week while I've had the same job for 6 years working 6 days out the week from 7a-3p, sometimes working 3-3 or 7-7 and it's frustrating to come home with her having laid on the couch all day amidst a house that a torndado ran through. Then when I get home she wants us to clean together, nah I'm tryna sit down somewhere. I still help pickup but why could you not do this in the 10, 12 hours i was gone? At least start on it and i can come in with the assist like an alley-oop.
To top it off is her style of parenting/communication. Her dad is a loud man and he's to thank for the genes I guess, but she's quick to resort to yelling whenever things bother her or the kids don't listen, as if the louder you are the easier it is to understand. Like I said I'm a quiet guy and i consider myself rational so i like to slow down and calmly talk about things, talk to kids with a level head and tone when they're wrong and talk to her in a calm tone whenever we have any altercations. She normally beats me to the punch with child reprimands since those thoughts have been bubbling in her mouth, and i don't like the yelling at all. After she gets done yelling I'll usually come behind to tell the kids what went wrong and why it was/why they shouldn't do that. But due to my level-headedness she sees that as me not caring, and when i ask her to calm her tone she says it's just how she reacts when upset. The kids act drastically different when they're alone with me versus alone with her, going from minding to whiny/crying whenever she gets to yelling.
Besides the yelling and too high expectations for small children, i do think she's a good mom, i just wish she'd handle things differently sometimes.
To sum these points up, I'm worried about sexual fulfillment, cleanliness (having to pick up after 3 kids and an adult), and temperament/attitude once married.
I know these things take effort but I feel like she just isn't as conscious about it as I am, and when i try to explain why i think she could/should do things differently/more efficiently, she takes it as me criticizing her and belittling her. It feels like I'm in a relationship with a child sometimes as far as her tendencies go.
Is marriage really the best option? Should we spend some time apart or end things for good?
Despite all of this we don't have a bad 1 on 1 relationship, when it's good it's great but when it's bad i can't help but wonder. I get pensive. Is marriage the best course of action for my life, for her life, for our kids? Would we all be able to grow and develop better with mom and dad separated? Is there someone better for me, someone better for her out there?
I've already gotten the supplies I had in mind ready to propose to her in a way she would love and i am happy with, i just have yet to buy a ring. It's a huge commitment that i don't want to end in disaster and resentment.
2023.06.05 04:43 Shower-Klutzy Wayward Tunnels Help On Switch
I'd appreciate anyone's help.
I cannot find it Wayward Tunnels...and the maps I find online do not have many places on them.
Its near Marcath I will attach a screen shot I took. If its on your map and its pretty full (I'm on level 65) please send me a screen shot.
I am starting to wonder if its another bug on the switch! 🤬😔
submitted by Shower-Klutzy to SkyrimHelp [link] [comments]
I cannot find it Wayward Tunnels...and the maps I find online do not have many places on them.
Its near Marcath I will attach a screen shot I took. If its on your map and its pretty full (I'm on level 65) please send me a screen shot.
I am starting to wonder if its another bug on the switch! 🤬😔
2023.06.05 04:42 ThrowRAwasteofspace Wondering if I'm (M25) ready for marriage to the mother (F23) of 2 of my children(3 & newborn), or if we should (for the best) go our separate ways in the future. Z
Throwaway account, as i don't want this connected to my other accounts.
My thoughts are erratic, forgive me for bouncing all over the point but I'm trying to include everything I've been thinking and feeling with my reasoning so please bear with me. Gonna be a long one. If you take the time to read all this and provide genuine, thoughtful feedback, know that I'm beyond appreciative.
I had my first child at 19, and his mother and I didn't stay together. He was given a hyphenated combination of our last names, and now all these years later his mother is engaged to another man with their own newborn, and my son calls said man "his other daddy". I understand that as even though i am active in my son's life, my own dad wasn't around and i ended up calling my temporary step-dad "daddy" for a period of time. My son's mom and her fiancé of course have been living together for a while so i don't see anything wrong with that, nor am i bothered by it as long as my son and Mr. Fiancé don't forget who his actual father is.
All that to say that this has led to me being unwilling to have my other children calling another man "daddy", which is one of a few reasons making me feel like i have to stay in my current relationship and eventually tie the knot with my girlfriend - even if i am currently unhappy more often than not and feel as if marriage would be dooming myself to a life of tolerance rather than contentment.
I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Before I talk (or complain) about everything I'm unhappy about, I'd like to make it known that I've been 10 relationships before my current one, and i ended 8 of them with 2 of them ended by the girl- much to my chagrin. Those 2 had a pretty big impact on me but not as much as 2 that i ended due to being cheated on. The rest I ended i guess out of boredom? This made me feel as if I wasn't cut out for relationships and I should be alone, but then I end up lonely wanting a relationship. I ended one relationship with a cheater right before the relationship that gave me my firstborn. I never took the time to heal from that and I wasn't ready for a child at the time, so even though i love my son and have always been active in his life, i never thought his mother and I would have a longstanding relationship.
We separated and then i met and began a relationship with the second cheater. At the time I was 21 and she was 33, but i could've swore she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Thing was, she was still living with her ex and I'm sure you can imagine how that went. That whole relationship left me feeling emasculated.
I left that relationship and began a relationship with my current girlfriend not even 3 months later. Needless to say I did no healing, took no time for myself. To make things worse we moved in together within another 3 months, and she found out she was pregnant by the end of the year.
I was actually perfectly content with my only child and had no desire to sire another child at this point in time, but my girlfriend had gotten pregnant in her previous relationship and ended up losing the baby, so her baby fever was at an all time high and she would get depressed whenever we would have sex and I'd cum anywhere other than inside of her. She'd roll over and put her back to me and sulk about it until she went to sleep, sometimes even crying about it. This made me feel Tee-totally terrible so I eventually just 🤷🏾♂️ and started finishing inside her to give her the child she wanted. This pregnancy gave me my daughter and I love her to death, she's amazing. We were staying in an apartment complex with roommates, but after finding out she was pregnant we went to stay with her mom. I broke up with her after welcoming the baby due to feelings of discontentment, although we got together again a few months later.
We got our own place and stayed there about a year and a half before I broke up with her again because i felt like i just wasn't the man for her. I told her i didn't want to marry and i don't want anymore kids, mainly just to drive the point as these are things she wants. We separated for 3 or 4 months this time, in which period of time I had sex once with an ex and she had sex once with a coworker. Despite that, we got back together because i had "thought about it" and decided that i didn't mind marrying and having more children. Fast forward a year and we moved to a better home and welcomed our second child together, my 3rd child and 2nd son.
I've thought about and pretty much accepted the concept/fate of marrying my girlfriend. She's been insistent bordering on impatient which I understand. This last time we got back together I told her we'd be wed before our son got here, which was rash on my part. I rush a lot of things but marriage isn't one of them.
I don't know if it's because my girlfriend is the partner in question, but marriage just feels like a huge shackle to me and divorce is a hassle from what I've heard. I don't want to marry just for it to be unhappy and end up in divorce.
Back to: I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Here comes the complaining.
I'm an introvert, through and through. I like reading books, i like quiet time, i enjoy having time to myself, I enjoy doing/accomplishing things alone.
My girlfriend has to be the antithesis. She can talk on and on and on for hours on end without nary a breath in between. This isn't as much of an issue as the subject of her conversation- most of the time, there isn't one. It's like 95% of her thoughts come out of her mouth and she expects me to reply and vividly react to it all. It's really kind of draining. I get that as the man i should be glad that I'm the one she's talking to, but sometimes I'd rather enjoy the song that's playing or just have time alone with my thoughts. So most of her dialogue has no real meaning to me, and she often talks/asks questions about things that would be clear to her with just a little observation on her end. A little thought. She's so busy spitting out that 95% thought that she can't use the remaining 5 to come to her own conclusions.
For example, we're riding in the car. It's sunny outside, yet starts to rain. She says, "The devil must be beating his wife". I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because what kind of sense does that make? She says, "What you've never heard that?" No, because it doesn't make sense. The devil is in theory beneath us so even if he did have a wife and beat her, why would these tears be coming from the sky? Perhaps I'm just a dull rock and too analytical but i feel like we could've both saved our breath on that whole exchange.
Another example. We went to eat, i got a coke to go. It was riding in the front cup holder until i finished it, and threw the empty cup into the trash. A whole ten, fifteen minutes later she asks, "Did you finish your coke?" I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because are you telling me you didn't see me throw it away while you're right beside me? Do you not see the empty cup holder? I say yea, to which she asks me to hand her her water bottle. I just feel as if she could've taken the time to do some looking and thinking on her own, and just ask me for her water.
We're driving with a gps, she says that she needs me to help her because she doesn't know if it's this exit or the next one. 😐 idk if i can do this for the rest of my life. The route is highlighted on the screen, instead of oh so many feet, the distance is point something miles, and the exit number is on the screen. I tell her to think about it. She takes the wrong exit and gets mad at me.
Other times she is literally just voicing her inner dialogue like "I want a coke", "I'm hot, need to turn on the air", "My head is itching" and she just looks at me waiting for me to say something when I feel like none of this really warrants a reply. I hate small talk but maybe I'm just a stick in the mud.
She asks for help ridiculously often when she doesn't really need any. She could do things on her own most of the time just by freeing up one of her hands or literally thinking about the issue more. She probably tells me "hold this" 15 to 93 times a day. Just put it down? We were eating chinese takeout one night, and with a table right in front of her, she tells me to hold her plate. You know they give you enough food to feed a small village in those flimsy ass trays so the styrofoam bends and she drops her plate on my legs and in the floor before i can get a hold of it. I can't tell you how many times she's asked me for help with something that literally has instructions on it; she just didn't take the time to read it. I point it out and she's like "Oh 😜". It's gotten to the point where other than "think about it", when she asks for help i ask "do you really" and when i feel like she doesn't i resort to a childhood saying of my mother: "USE YOUR NOODLE! And when you're done with your noodle, put it back in your soup and finish your dinner".
To sum these points up, my pride doesn't want my kids acknowledging yet another dad, my girlfriend spits faster than Eminem when I'm a quiet guy, and her problem solving skills are near nonexistent when I'm a self-dependent, figure it out type of guy. I guess these personality differences might stem from our upbringing, as she was raised in a volatile home with her brother, bouncing between her mother and grandmother who both talk just as much as she, while i was raised alone with my mother who also enjoyed quiet time and liked reading and such. BUT-
In addition to this, I don't feel like my girlfriend and I are as sexually compatible as we could be. Our preferences and things we want aren't that different, but i have a much broader taste than she does and I don't ever think I'll achieve sexual freedom with her. I know that some of my fantasies are off the table for her, and others I'm too ashamed to even open up about due to what she's made clear of her stance. She doesn't like the lights on during, she doesn't like eye contact, she isn't very vocal. I wanna see her, look her in the eye, when i talk to her she doesn't talk back and doesn't mention it till we're done. These differences probably come from our experience and lack of with porn and sexual partners. I think I'm her third or fourth relationship. The guy before me she was with for 5 years. I started watching porn at 12 or 13, was running a NSFW tumblr page before tumblr stopped being cool, regularly masturbated. I don't think my girlfriend ever really touched herself before me, and the only time i know of her masturbating was to send me a video like 2 years ago. I want more from out sex life but trying to bring it up is met with mild disgust before rejection. Ideally I want my partner to want to masturbate sometimes, for us both to have toys, for us to explore with ourselves and other people and explore our fantasies. My girlfriend doesn't even have any. This makes me reluctant to marry because I don't wanna give up on all of this without having experienced it.
On top of this is her style of living. Bathroom sink and tub full of hair. Throwing something away- KOBE! -she misses and doesn't pick it up. Preparing food and leaving the scraps and trash on the counter for roaches, rats and ants, i can't stand it. Her side of the bed looks like the empty water bottle monster threw up and she loves to eat before bed but rarely takes her dishes to the kitchen before sleeping, and just throws her trash in the general direction of the can without bothering to just lean over and place it in or at least see if she made it. I'll say something and she'll do better for 2 days and a half, then i feel like i wasted my words. 8 used wash rags left in the shower, not flushing the toilet, she just really kinda sucks at cleaning up after herself until the stars align or mercury is in retrograde or some divine intervention where she wants to do everything in a day. She's a manager at McD's now so she's working a bit more, but she used to be a server with multiple off days through the week while I've had the same job for 6 years working 6 days out the week from 7a-3p, sometimes working 3-3 or 7-7 and it's frustrating to come home with her having laid on the couch all day amidst a house that a torndado ran through. Then when I get home she wants us to clean together, nah I'm tryna sit down somewhere. I still help pickup but why could you not do this in the 10, 12 hours i was gone? At least start on it and i can come in with the assist like an alley-oop.
To top it off is her style of parenting/communication. Her dad is a loud man and he's to thank for the genes I guess, but she's quick to resort to yelling whenever things bother her or the kids don't listen, as if the louder you are the easier it is to understand. Like I said I'm a quiet guy and i consider myself rational so i like to slow down and calmly talk about things, talk to kids with a level head and tone when they're wrong and talk to her in a calm tone whenever we have any altercations. She normally beats me to the punch with child reprimands since those thoughts have been bubbling in her mouth, and i don't like the yelling at all. After she gets done yelling I'll usually come behind to tell the kids what went wrong and why it was/why they shouldn't do that. But due to my level-headedness she sees that as me not caring, and when i ask her to calm her tone she says it's just how she reacts when upset. The kids act drastically different when they're alone with me versus alone with her, going from minding to whiny/crying whenever she gets to yelling.
Besides the yelling and too high expectations for small children, i do think she's a good mom, i just wish she'd handle things differently sometimes.
To sum these points up, I'm worried about sexual fulfillment, cleanliness (having to pick up after 3 kids and an adult), and temperament/attitude once married.
I know these things take effort but I feel like she just isn't as conscious about it as I am, and when i try to explain why i think she could/should do things differently/more efficiently, she takes it as me criticizing her and belittling her. It feels like I'm in a relationship with a child sometimes as far as her tendencies go.
Is marriage really the best option? Should we spend some time apart or end things for good?
Despite all of this we don't have a bad 1 on 1 relationship, when it's good it's great but when it's bad i can't help but wonder. I get pensive. Is marriage the best course of action for my life, for her life, for our kids? Would we all be able to grow and develop better with mom and dad separated? Is there someone better for me, someone better for her out there?
I've already gotten the supplies I had in mind ready to propose to her in a way she would love and i am happy with, i just have yet to buy a ring. It's a huge commitment that i don't want to end in disaster and resentment.
Sorry for the book. Thoughts/advice greatly appreciated.
submitted by ThrowRAwasteofspace to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
My thoughts are erratic, forgive me for bouncing all over the point but I'm trying to include everything I've been thinking and feeling with my reasoning so please bear with me. Gonna be a long one. If you take the time to read all this and provide genuine, thoughtful feedback, know that I'm beyond appreciative.
I had my first child at 19, and his mother and I didn't stay together. He was given a hyphenated combination of our last names, and now all these years later his mother is engaged to another man with their own newborn, and my son calls said man "his other daddy". I understand that as even though i am active in my son's life, my own dad wasn't around and i ended up calling my temporary step-dad "daddy" for a period of time. My son's mom and her fiancé of course have been living together for a while so i don't see anything wrong with that, nor am i bothered by it as long as my son and Mr. Fiancé don't forget who his actual father is.
All that to say that this has led to me being unwilling to have my other children calling another man "daddy", which is one of a few reasons making me feel like i have to stay in my current relationship and eventually tie the knot with my girlfriend - even if i am currently unhappy more often than not and feel as if marriage would be dooming myself to a life of tolerance rather than contentment.
I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Before I talk (or complain) about everything I'm unhappy about, I'd like to make it known that I've been 10 relationships before my current one, and i ended 8 of them with 2 of them ended by the girl- much to my chagrin. Those 2 had a pretty big impact on me but not as much as 2 that i ended due to being cheated on. The rest I ended i guess out of boredom? This made me feel as if I wasn't cut out for relationships and I should be alone, but then I end up lonely wanting a relationship. I ended one relationship with a cheater right before the relationship that gave me my firstborn. I never took the time to heal from that and I wasn't ready for a child at the time, so even though i love my son and have always been active in his life, i never thought his mother and I would have a longstanding relationship.
We separated and then i met and began a relationship with the second cheater. At the time I was 21 and she was 33, but i could've swore she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Thing was, she was still living with her ex and I'm sure you can imagine how that went. That whole relationship left me feeling emasculated.
I left that relationship and began a relationship with my current girlfriend not even 3 months later. Needless to say I did no healing, took no time for myself. To make things worse we moved in together within another 3 months, and she found out she was pregnant by the end of the year.
I was actually perfectly content with my only child and had no desire to sire another child at this point in time, but my girlfriend had gotten pregnant in her previous relationship and ended up losing the baby, so her baby fever was at an all time high and she would get depressed whenever we would have sex and I'd cum anywhere other than inside of her. She'd roll over and put her back to me and sulk about it until she went to sleep, sometimes even crying about it. This made me feel Tee-totally terrible so I eventually just 🤷🏾♂️ and started finishing inside her to give her the child she wanted. This pregnancy gave me my daughter and I love her to death, she's amazing. We were staying in an apartment complex with roommates, but after finding out she was pregnant we went to stay with her mom. I broke up with her after welcoming the baby due to feelings of discontentment, although we got together again a few months later.
We got our own place and stayed there about a year and a half before I broke up with her again because i felt like i just wasn't the man for her. I told her i didn't want to marry and i don't want anymore kids, mainly just to drive the point as these are things she wants. We separated for 3 or 4 months this time, in which period of time I had sex once with an ex and she had sex once with a coworker. Despite that, we got back together because i had "thought about it" and decided that i didn't mind marrying and having more children. Fast forward a year and we moved to a better home and welcomed our second child together, my 3rd child and 2nd son.
I've thought about and pretty much accepted the concept/fate of marrying my girlfriend. She's been insistent bordering on impatient which I understand. This last time we got back together I told her we'd be wed before our son got here, which was rash on my part. I rush a lot of things but marriage isn't one of them.
I don't know if it's because my girlfriend is the partner in question, but marriage just feels like a huge shackle to me and divorce is a hassle from what I've heard. I don't want to marry just for it to be unhappy and end up in divorce.
Back to: I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Here comes the complaining.
I'm an introvert, through and through. I like reading books, i like quiet time, i enjoy having time to myself, I enjoy doing/accomplishing things alone.
My girlfriend has to be the antithesis. She can talk on and on and on for hours on end without nary a breath in between. This isn't as much of an issue as the subject of her conversation- most of the time, there isn't one. It's like 95% of her thoughts come out of her mouth and she expects me to reply and vividly react to it all. It's really kind of draining. I get that as the man i should be glad that I'm the one she's talking to, but sometimes I'd rather enjoy the song that's playing or just have time alone with my thoughts. So most of her dialogue has no real meaning to me, and she often talks/asks questions about things that would be clear to her with just a little observation on her end. A little thought. She's so busy spitting out that 95% thought that she can't use the remaining 5 to come to her own conclusions.
For example, we're riding in the car. It's sunny outside, yet starts to rain. She says, "The devil must be beating his wife". I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because what kind of sense does that make? She says, "What you've never heard that?" No, because it doesn't make sense. The devil is in theory beneath us so even if he did have a wife and beat her, why would these tears be coming from the sky? Perhaps I'm just a dull rock and too analytical but i feel like we could've both saved our breath on that whole exchange.
Another example. We went to eat, i got a coke to go. It was riding in the front cup holder until i finished it, and threw the empty cup into the trash. A whole ten, fifteen minutes later she asks, "Did you finish your coke?" I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because are you telling me you didn't see me throw it away while you're right beside me? Do you not see the empty cup holder? I say yea, to which she asks me to hand her her water bottle. I just feel as if she could've taken the time to do some looking and thinking on her own, and just ask me for her water.
We're driving with a gps, she says that she needs me to help her because she doesn't know if it's this exit or the next one. 😐 idk if i can do this for the rest of my life. The route is highlighted on the screen, instead of oh so many feet, the distance is point something miles, and the exit number is on the screen. I tell her to think about it. She takes the wrong exit and gets mad at me.
Other times she is literally just voicing her inner dialogue like "I want a coke", "I'm hot, need to turn on the air", "My head is itching" and she just looks at me waiting for me to say something when I feel like none of this really warrants a reply. I hate small talk but maybe I'm just a stick in the mud.
She asks for help ridiculously often when she doesn't really need any. She could do things on her own most of the time just by freeing up one of her hands or literally thinking about the issue more. She probably tells me "hold this" 15 to 93 times a day. Just put it down? We were eating chinese takeout one night, and with a table right in front of her, she tells me to hold her plate. You know they give you enough food to feed a small village in those flimsy ass trays so the styrofoam bends and she drops her plate on my legs and in the floor before i can get a hold of it. I can't tell you how many times she's asked me for help with something that literally has instructions on it; she just didn't take the time to read it. I point it out and she's like "Oh 😜". It's gotten to the point where other than "think about it", when she asks for help i ask "do you really" and when i feel like she doesn't i resort to a childhood saying of my mother: "USE YOUR NOODLE! And when you're done with your noodle, put it back in your soup and finish your dinner".
To sum these points up, my pride doesn't want my kids acknowledging yet another dad, my girlfriend spits faster than Eminem when I'm a quiet guy, and her problem solving skills are near nonexistent when I'm a self-dependent, figure it out type of guy. I guess these personality differences might stem from our upbringing, as she was raised in a volatile home with her brother, bouncing between her mother and grandmother who both talk just as much as she, while i was raised alone with my mother who also enjoyed quiet time and liked reading and such. BUT-
In addition to this, I don't feel like my girlfriend and I are as sexually compatible as we could be. Our preferences and things we want aren't that different, but i have a much broader taste than she does and I don't ever think I'll achieve sexual freedom with her. I know that some of my fantasies are off the table for her, and others I'm too ashamed to even open up about due to what she's made clear of her stance. She doesn't like the lights on during, she doesn't like eye contact, she isn't very vocal. I wanna see her, look her in the eye, when i talk to her she doesn't talk back and doesn't mention it till we're done. These differences probably come from our experience and lack of with porn and sexual partners. I think I'm her third or fourth relationship. The guy before me she was with for 5 years. I started watching porn at 12 or 13, was running a NSFW tumblr page before tumblr stopped being cool, regularly masturbated. I don't think my girlfriend ever really touched herself before me, and the only time i know of her masturbating was to send me a video like 2 years ago. I want more from out sex life but trying to bring it up is met with mild disgust before rejection. Ideally I want my partner to want to masturbate sometimes, for us both to have toys, for us to explore with ourselves and other people and explore our fantasies. My girlfriend doesn't even have any. This makes me reluctant to marry because I don't wanna give up on all of this without having experienced it.
On top of this is her style of living. Bathroom sink and tub full of hair. Throwing something away- KOBE! -she misses and doesn't pick it up. Preparing food and leaving the scraps and trash on the counter for roaches, rats and ants, i can't stand it. Her side of the bed looks like the empty water bottle monster threw up and she loves to eat before bed but rarely takes her dishes to the kitchen before sleeping, and just throws her trash in the general direction of the can without bothering to just lean over and place it in or at least see if she made it. I'll say something and she'll do better for 2 days and a half, then i feel like i wasted my words. 8 used wash rags left in the shower, not flushing the toilet, she just really kinda sucks at cleaning up after herself until the stars align or mercury is in retrograde or some divine intervention where she wants to do everything in a day. She's a manager at McD's now so she's working a bit more, but she used to be a server with multiple off days through the week while I've had the same job for 6 years working 6 days out the week from 7a-3p, sometimes working 3-3 or 7-7 and it's frustrating to come home with her having laid on the couch all day amidst a house that a torndado ran through. Then when I get home she wants us to clean together, nah I'm tryna sit down somewhere. I still help pickup but why could you not do this in the 10, 12 hours i was gone? At least start on it and i can come in with the assist like an alley-oop.
To top it off is her style of parenting/communication. Her dad is a loud man and he's to thank for the genes I guess, but she's quick to resort to yelling whenever things bother her or the kids don't listen, as if the louder you are the easier it is to understand. Like I said I'm a quiet guy and i consider myself rational so i like to slow down and calmly talk about things, talk to kids with a level head and tone when they're wrong and talk to her in a calm tone whenever we have any altercations. She normally beats me to the punch with child reprimands since those thoughts have been bubbling in her mouth, and i don't like the yelling at all. After she gets done yelling I'll usually come behind to tell the kids what went wrong and why it was/why they shouldn't do that. But due to my level-headedness she sees that as me not caring, and when i ask her to calm her tone she says it's just how she reacts when upset. The kids act drastically different when they're alone with me versus alone with her, going from minding to whiny/crying whenever she gets to yelling.
Besides the yelling and too high expectations for small children, i do think she's a good mom, i just wish she'd handle things differently sometimes.
To sum these points up, I'm worried about sexual fulfillment, cleanliness (having to pick up after 3 kids and an adult), and temperament/attitude once married.
I know these things take effort but I feel like she just isn't as conscious about it as I am, and when i try to explain why i think she could/should do things differently/more efficiently, she takes it as me criticizing her and belittling her. It feels like I'm in a relationship with a child sometimes as far as her tendencies go.
Is marriage really the best option? Should we spend some time apart or end things for good?
Despite all of this we don't have a bad 1 on 1 relationship, when it's good it's great but when it's bad i can't help but wonder. I get pensive. Is marriage the best course of action for my life, for her life, for our kids? Would we all be able to grow and develop better with mom and dad separated? Is there someone better for me, someone better for her out there?
I've already gotten the supplies I had in mind ready to propose to her in a way she would love and i am happy with, i just have yet to buy a ring. It's a huge commitment that i don't want to end in disaster and resentment.
Sorry for the book. Thoughts/advice greatly appreciated.
2023.06.05 04:41 lailishahrestani ex giving me mixed signals
okay so, my ex and i were together for around 7 months and i was his first ever relationship. we were long distance, but had an intense bond, and i’ve never clicked with somebody that fast emotionally ever in my life. we also flew out to visit one another multiple times. however on our first ever call before we were officially dating, he asked me a question or two regarding my sexual history. i was honest for the most part, but left a few details out due to the fact that i was ashamed and my internalized fear of rejection came out, so i did the terrible thing and lied. we proceeded to have a great relationship with no fights and perfect communication. months fly by and i randomly begin to develop as guilty conscience. i told myself i need to come clean about the lie in order to have peace. i finally told him and he felt absolutely crushed and betrayed. one reason was because he was saving himself for “the one” and wanted his future gf to be on the same page. however, in all he was way more upset about the lying part and said he cannot trust me which is valid. we broke up about a month ago, and have been in no contact for nearly three weeks. three weeks ago on facetime he told me that he loves me so much, yet cannot be with me but if we end up living closer to one another one day then maybe we can give it a shot then. he promised not to block me or whatever but then today i see he blocked me on social media. and on spotify he made a few playlists dedicated to me, he was pretty much communicating that he feels so hurt and lonely. i know he dumped me but at the same time i don’t want him to think i don’t care about him. he always seemed to believe he loved me more even though i love him endlessly and have been absolutely dying these past few weeks not being able to contact him. i literally have to discipline myself. he’s an avoidant and i’m a huge anxious attacher. i know logically im supposed to maintain no contact but i love him with all my heart, would not fighting for this push him even farther away?
submitted by lailishahrestani to BreakUps [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 04:41 throwawayacct345728 How do you approach a design test?
I know how everyone here feels about design tests, but when given one during an interview process and you end up proceeding with it, how do you complete it? As in, do you follow their rules/instructions and be as creative as possible? Or do you make something that looks just like something the company would make/use? The reason I ask this is because I recently finished interviewing with a company for a graphic designer role. It was 4 rounds - screening, 1.5 hour panel interview with a “live” task that I only had 30 minutes to complete, a “take home” design test and then final interview with the CEO.
I found out a little over a week later after the final interview, I was not selected. I asked for feedback and I got feedback alright (which was a relief, because I ask for it every time I do not get an offer and 99% of the time get the generic “we went with someone else who has more experience”) This was proper feedback. Besides the part where I was not “organic” enough, the part that stuck out to me was what I did for the design test. Clearly it was good enough for me to pass and get the final interview, but with the feedback given about the design test it makes it sound like I didn’t go about it the right way. The hiring managemarketing director said several other candidates took the time to review their magazine and other collateral on their website to align their take-home test more closely to their brand. My skill-level and speed made me stand out, but what other candidates did outshined me. The test was to make a 4 page spread with the 3rd page using a supplied ad. The directions were to be creative, use supplied ad, fonts, and copy, use at least one picture related to the copy and make sure the tone/vibe was business professional as that’s their audience. I did exactly what they asked for. Even asked for opinions about it from my designer friends and they thought it looked great, but I did not look at their magazine content first because I didn’t want to accidentally copy/mimic it as that’s how I always approach design tests. It’s about being creative? After finishing it though and before submitting, I did take a look at their content more and noticed what I made was pretty similar to their magazine and worried about if I should change what I made. Instead I submitted it.
I’m now wondering if I should’ve made my test even more like their company standards or if I did what I could. I tried, but I guess not hard enough. Based on the feedback, why even invite me to the final interview? Just don’t invite me back. I hate design tests with a passion, but I know if I don’t do them I’ll lose out on an opportunity. I just hate wasting my time. I have another interview with a different company tomorrow morning (it’s the interview after screening) and it’s in person. A design test will be involved after this round. Then I have a final interview with the VP of another company Tuesday afternoon (passed design test round for that company). Really hoping either of these companies will result in an offer, as I have been trying for nearly a year since I’ve been out of FT work (freelance and PT job not enough) but wondering if for future design tests for other job opportunities I need to approach them differently.
TL;DR: Do you follow a companies rules/instructions for a design test and be as creative as possible? Or do you make something that looks just like something the company would make/use? I do a little of both, but lean more on following rules/instructions and be as creative as possible.
submitted by throwawayacct345728 to graphic_design [link] [comments]
I found out a little over a week later after the final interview, I was not selected. I asked for feedback and I got feedback alright (which was a relief, because I ask for it every time I do not get an offer and 99% of the time get the generic “we went with someone else who has more experience”) This was proper feedback. Besides the part where I was not “organic” enough, the part that stuck out to me was what I did for the design test. Clearly it was good enough for me to pass and get the final interview, but with the feedback given about the design test it makes it sound like I didn’t go about it the right way. The hiring managemarketing director said several other candidates took the time to review their magazine and other collateral on their website to align their take-home test more closely to their brand. My skill-level and speed made me stand out, but what other candidates did outshined me. The test was to make a 4 page spread with the 3rd page using a supplied ad. The directions were to be creative, use supplied ad, fonts, and copy, use at least one picture related to the copy and make sure the tone/vibe was business professional as that’s their audience. I did exactly what they asked for. Even asked for opinions about it from my designer friends and they thought it looked great, but I did not look at their magazine content first because I didn’t want to accidentally copy/mimic it as that’s how I always approach design tests. It’s about being creative? After finishing it though and before submitting, I did take a look at their content more and noticed what I made was pretty similar to their magazine and worried about if I should change what I made. Instead I submitted it.
I’m now wondering if I should’ve made my test even more like their company standards or if I did what I could. I tried, but I guess not hard enough. Based on the feedback, why even invite me to the final interview? Just don’t invite me back. I hate design tests with a passion, but I know if I don’t do them I’ll lose out on an opportunity. I just hate wasting my time. I have another interview with a different company tomorrow morning (it’s the interview after screening) and it’s in person. A design test will be involved after this round. Then I have a final interview with the VP of another company Tuesday afternoon (passed design test round for that company). Really hoping either of these companies will result in an offer, as I have been trying for nearly a year since I’ve been out of FT work (freelance and PT job not enough) but wondering if for future design tests for other job opportunities I need to approach them differently.
TL;DR: Do you follow a companies rules/instructions for a design test and be as creative as possible? Or do you make something that looks just like something the company would make/use? I do a little of both, but lean more on following rules/instructions and be as creative as possible.