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Bromos, I’m in desperate need of help with my toddlers behavioral problems.
Before I start, you are probably gonna read this and be like “damn this kid needs to see a professional.” ….Duh. Currently in the process of applying for Medicaid + being connected with child psychologist and early interventionists who take Medicaid but this shit is complicated and they all have absolutely insane waiting lists so. My baby will see a specialist but it won’t happen tomorrow. And this problem needed to be addressed like.. yesterday.
Anyways on to the issue. My 3 year old is an absolute nightmare. I know most toddlers tend to be pretty hard to deal with but I am certain this goes past the normal scope. If you have read any of my previous posts you know I just left an extremely abusive relationship. Well any day where both me and my ex were at home consisted of me acting as a buffer between my children and him. He had virtually no patience for them and was very quick to anger. Judging by the injuries he inflicted upon me I knew how violent he could get very quickly and I needed to keep him from ever putting his hands on one of my girls.
What would end up happening is he would very rarely engage with my toddler so he had no idea how to handle her. His fuse was short and I would see him grow impatient at any sort of normal toddlerhood defiance and immediately remove her from the situation. He was extremely irritated at the sound of her crying so usually this resulted in me sticking her in front of a screen and giving into her demands. Whatever she wanted she got. I needed to keep her in a good mood at all times because I knew what might happen if my husband even overheard a meltdown. When he was away, I was so exhausted and beat down physically and emotionally that I couldn’t handle any type of boundary setting and the tantrums that would ensue. Seriously I don’t think this kid has ever heard the word no in her life until quite recently. Long story short, I let her run the house and walk all over me to keep her safe.
But now we are out and day by day I slowly but surely find my way out of survival mode and into real parenting. My daughter is really struggling. She has been having meltdowns every couple hours. She will refuse to do any and everything I ask of her even if it’s something that she wouldn’t have had an issue with before. She is screaming and crying all the time. Every time we get in the car she will scream te entire ride. It’s exhausting and I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Constant negotiations. She won’t sleep at all/ will barely eat and nothing has worked. I try to stand my ground and remain firm on my boundaries but I honestly don’t think she takes me serious at all. She knows that if she puts up enough of a fight she gets what she wants. She’s right, that’s how it’s always been. Why would things be different now?
Arguably the most concerning is her acts of violence (physical and verbal) towards me and others. I worry that her little brain picked up on her dads behavior. He would often yell obscenities and berate me in front of her. Recently when she gets upset of disregulated she will lash out and say very hurtful things to me (ex: fucking bitch, useless slut, annoying bitch, I wish you would die, threatening to hurt/punish me, etc) that she could have only heard from him. She will also throw things, hit, and bite herself and others when she is upset with the goal of injury.
It’s gotten to the point where I do not feel comfortable letting her play with the other toddlers (my friends kids) in the home because she has such a short temper and I am scared she will harm them. I also don’t even want to take her out in public because I am embarrassed of her huge meltdowns and she gets so overstimulated. Not to mention hearing her call me those things and try to physically harm me has been extremely triggering for me.
I am also in the middle of a custody legal pursuit with the girls father and caring for my colicky infant. I am so exhausted and i don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. Getting her professional help is my number 1 top priority, but I need to know what I can do. How do I start?? She’s not going to be permanently like this right?? I didn’t raise a tiny version of my ex, did I..?

as a warmer, deeper toned black woman, I have always understood colorism. my question is why is it that it’s hard for some black people, black men especially to understand why most black women, because let’s face it, even tho a lot of black people are different shades, if you go in majority black neighborhoods black people are deeper toned, meaning if you only like light skins you leave out a LOT of black women, heck i’d even say you leave out 60 percent of us.
Now i’m not race loyal and I don’t believe in for wing people to be with their race, I believe in people dating whatever shade they want, my issue is, what is the obsession with skin tone, how the heck can you ve attracted to a shade of skin? and how come black people don’t understand how BIZARRE it is to prefer a skin tone when we ALL are literally the same race. not to mention most of the women I grew up around were either my skin tone or darker, dark skin black women are literally dang near the majority, so if mammals prefer to be with other mammals that look like them, why is it that black people seem to do the opposite,
white peoples majority get with white people, asain people majority get with asian people, so on and so forth.
now I do know that black people get with black people, whenever I see black people married or dating, I can bet 10 dollars the black woman will be a bit lighter than the black man or A LOT lighter than him.
I know a lot of people are gonna call me delusional and say black people get together all the time, bit I know what I see, I hear this all the time that light skins are better than dark skins, this isn’t all in peoples heads.
What is the problem?

I can already feel the backlash for this one.
Bojack should have died in the pool. Okay, sure, he changed. No one cares, not really. Are we all going to keep pretending he wasn't invited to Princess Carolyn's wedding as anything other than pity? Are we seriously convinced Bojack and Todd are still friends? Because I'm not. Most friends you make in life don't give a shit what you've been through or how you've changed, and most people's friends haven't had their lives fucked with the way Bojack always does. At best they'll tolerate him, and at worst they'll ghost him the minute he falters. Because his changes, temporary or legit, don't negate the pain he caused.
Even after prison, Bojack is hated now. No one wants to understand his struggle. His future will be direct-to-DVD at best, and if the second half of Season 6 is any indication, he'll just get pulled down by Hollywoo all over again. There's hope, but it's based in stupid Hollywoo bullshit, because even after everything we've witnessed, we just can't accept how vain and stupid that hope is. He will live alone, and he will die alone. Because that's how the world works.

I was always kind of a nerdy kid growing up. I was awkward in grade school and in high school. I came out of my shell in college and partied and got to meet people. After a while, I started working out and getting in shape for the sole reason of wanting to meet more girls and have flings and 1 night stands. I worked hard on myself. I ate right, I was beginning to be more happy with my physique.
Full disclosure, the only reason I wanted to get so fit was so I could hook up with other girls and have this "bucket list" of girls to sleep with.
Anyway, I put myself out there, and I met this girl in one of my classes. She was one of the girls on my "bucket list". Well I ended up being in a long term relationship with her of three years and it's bothering me now that I'll never be able to finish my bucket list.
I can see that she's really good to me. It's just that I get down when I think about my past compared to hers. She had her wild years. She got to sleep around. She's had over 20 sex partners while I've had only one. I'm in a good relationship but I guess I might feel inadequate because she's had so many guys and got to live the life that I have always wanted to live.
She told me from about a month when we were together how many guys she's been with. It didn't bother me at first because I never thought we would end up being long term like this but every now and then, her number comes around to haunt me. I know that her past should have nothing to do with her now, but it's just that I feel like I will never be able to walk through "that" door and get those experiences for myself. I feel envious or resentful even, that my girlfriend has done all the things I've always wanted to do.
I opened up to the idea of wanting to try a threesome or other new sexual experiences for me but she refuses. She says the only way I'll get to live that life is if we break up. I think I would be more accepting if I know our sexual past is closer together but the gap is so huge. I suppose the reason for this thread on asking relationships is : How do I get over it? I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her. How can I let go of my bucket list and be content with what I have? I know I would be unhappy without her because she's amazing to me. How do I move past this?
TL;DR: My girlfriend got to live all my sex fantasies while I've had none. Our experience gap is so huge, and I am slowly coming to realize that I'll never ever get to live those years for myself. I can't exactly live out those sex fantasies because some involve girls of another ethnicity. How do I move past this so I won't compare my lack of sex experience to hers and will drop my bucket list?

I would like to start by saying that I am a CSA survivor. I have not told anyone but my best friend. After months of therapy as an adult, the traumatic memories came back and I remember it all.
My fiancé and I are getting married in a month. I love him dearly and could not have asked for a better partner. I have not shared this with him though. I want to but don’t know how and I see that it is affecting our relationship a bit. I am often turned off when he initiates sexual activity and I feel like it is because it triggers me. In the beginning of our relationship, we were long distance and saw each other only every 2-3 months. Now we live together. Our sex life has quite obviously changed. Idk.. I don’t want him to think it’s because I don’t love him.

. I work out, I've been hard passing the drugs. Waking up though i find myself reaching for cough syrup or the cooking sherry.
At the end of the day if I don't numb myself my stress comes out on my finger nails or chewing my lips. I pull out my hair when things get bad. I'm starting to look worse than when I was always numb. overall I feel better though. How do you keep yourself on track?

[WTS] Benchmade Bugout, Tactile Turn and Tactile Knife, BDEDC Bumbag, JRW flex, other.
prices include shipping in CONUS w/tracking PP G&S just add the 3.5% to price.
-Benchmade bugout 535BK-4 (A) Aluminum handles and M390 blade.
LNIB. only flipped a couple of times. Never carried or cut anything. SV $260
-Tactile Knife Stealth Rockwall (B) i'm the 2nd owner, first owner said he used it
only to cut paper, has one small snail trail on the blade (see pics).
i have carried it once and did not cut anything.
Tactile Turn Stealth Pen Fall 2021 Release (B) standard size w/tritium.
i am the original owner. i carried it for about 2 weeks. has some wear. both for SV $540.
-JRW curator Flex (A) all LNIB, never carried just displayed.
the new Coyote june 2023, yellow, white, silver, and brown. SV $40 ea.
-Miyoo Mini+ (A). played it for about an hour. screen protector installed.
no issues, its just that i dont use it. SV $80.
-Oneplus 8T (B) Mostly used for gaming at the house, it was under t-mobile, but it can be unlocked. Oxygen os 16gb ram 256gb storage.
Clean imei, no cracks or scratches or dents. It comes with plastic case, but screen protector has been removed because it started to come off. SV $220
-WD 4TB external hard drive (B) works great, no issues. SV $50.
-Get Set Gear Dual 5 organizer w/key loop [C], used SV $60
ADD-ONS:
-GondekEDC fidget toy (A) $10. (LNIB, no issues)
-Olight i5T plus (B) $25. (used. no box, just flashlight)
-Redeemed Creations EDC work tray green TOPO (B) SV $40 OBO (its not totally flat, thats how it came)
pics and vids: https://imgur.com/a/JZ3doik

I'm 42m 5'11" I started at 385. I was pre diabetic and had low testosterone. I tried losing weight a few ways but main thing I couldn't get a handle on was my appetite. As my Dr. said from my other numbers the food I ate was good but it was the quantity. I started Wegovy on March 5th. I was one of the lucky ones with minimal side effects.
Finally my appetite was curbed and I started losing weight. I didn't change much in terms of exercise because of the low testosterone my energy was low. By the end of 2022 I weighed 315. Seeing some people here I was happy that I lost 70 lbs in 9 months but realized I should be going faster.
On January 15th I started lifting weights. I had before so I knew how to lift and gain muscle. Today I weigh 255 and from my last Dexa scan I have 165lbs of lean tissue. My arms have 22lbs each and my legs have 50lbs. From how I look and how much I can lift now I know I put on a decent amount of muscle. I'm just mad I didn't find out about DEXA scans earlier. So far in 5 months this year I've lost 60lbs but again I imagine it's more than that I've just put on a good amount of muscle.
My goal is around 190 which would be tjhe lowest I've ever weighed as an adult . It's so crazy for me haven't felt better. Never did I think I'd be at 65% of my weight loss goal.
I just got a 3 month prescription of Wegovy delivered 2 weeks ago and I'm considering it being my last refill. I really feel like I've built in the good habits now. I watch what I eat and how much, plus I'm at the gym 4-5 days a week. I do have a list of supplements Ive been taking since January namely CLA and all the Omega fatty acids. I don't deprive myself of things I like I just limit how big those portions are.
Keep at it everyone.

Was riding in from the city when this man sat next to me.
At Hoboken, I happened to glimpse down at his phone and he was zooming in on a photo he had taken of a young lady across the way. I made eye contact with a different woman sitting to his left and confirmed that we’d seen what we seen. Immediately spoke up and he ignored me until I raised my voice when asking him if he knew the girl he’d taken a picture of then he asked if it was my business.
I made the young woman aware and she clearly didn’t know how to respond so I began to loudly tell him to delete the photo. He kept repeating he wouldn’t and we went back and forth, before claiming that he hadn’t taken any photos and started to get in my face. He put his phone away, got up, and moved to the back of the train, then exited the train at Newport.
Spoke to the woman sitting next to him and she confirmed that he’d been taking pictures of multiple women in our car from the second he got on the train but was afraid to speak up. She also mentioned that she noticed he hadn’t gotten off at Newport and that he’d just switched cars.
Got off at Grove and was able to snap the photos above before the train took off, including one of him grinning at the camera.
I wish I would’ve done more but felt that he was beginning to get aggressive. That said, be on the lookout as he clearly has no hesitations about what he’s doing. He definitely rode all the way to JSQ but no way to tell if that was actually his final destination.

Anyone know how possible it is to get a parking pass at school and cost?

Earlier today I had this weird urge to log into my Facebook and look up LO #2. I actually didn’t know he had one until last week and I saw he had a girl on his pfp. I don’t think they’re dating but I hate that it bothered me. I deleted the app then and there. Today though I just had to see him I guess. This time when I looked it felt like I was looking at a stranger. Like I don’t remember anything about the real him. The actual person behind the screen. I probably never will.
It’s weird because for 3 years I’ve been in a LE. Within the span of 2 dudes. Leaving the details for another post but the most recent one LO #2 is the one that’s still fresh on my mind even though we stopped texting in Jan-March 2022. Basically for the majority of 2022 I was obsessed with him. He was in my dreams, daydreams and is even in all of my journals. Would constantly check his social media even when he turned it private. I would just stare at his profile to get a sign of life. Would even check all of his playlists on Spotify (which he never gave me).
Now that I’m no longer in that state, it’s like damn i actually have to live now in the real world. Starting from square fucking one because I was basically NEET and chronically on my phone the whole time. I guess it could’ve been worse idk how to end this post.

This is maybe more of a vent but I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting or actually hurt. We’ve been together for 11 years and married 5.
Went a an event this weekend. From Friday to Saturday. We were introduced to a friend of a friend. We talked to him at least once at each event. On the first night he says she and him should grab a drink if they ever happen to be in the same town and asks for her number. I got distracted by someone and miss rest of conversation. He then leaves and so do we and go home. She knows I’m mad about something but I just don’t want to talk.
He does again at another event. Remind you, both times with me there. She either text her name on Friday night to him or she did that night. We all had been drinking so I can’t for sure remember, but she tells him “look for (her name)” and points at his phone.
We leave and get in big argument. I keep thinking about it 24 hours later and the more and more I’m feeling hurt. Betrayed. I have been hurt before i don’t want to go down a spiral. I was there and didn’t see anything “physical” but I was amazed at how quick and easy she confirmed his ask.
Is this overreaction? If not idk how to handle this. Physical cheating is divorce imo. I know this is different but I can’t gauge how big of an issue this is
TLDR: wife gave out her phone number to a person just meet at social event in front of me. No intention of any work or business connection, only personal. Did it both nights, I’m very hurt and it’s growing. Am I overreacting? Not sure if there are levels to cheating?

Hello, I feel i need mental help but i dont know how to ask. Im 13 and i dont like talking about my feelings, as far as everyone knows im perfectly fine and mentally okay while in reality im dying.
I want to tell someone but i dont know who or how, im getting a therapist but it could take months and i need help now, i cant tell my parents because ill have a panic attack or something, i literally cant tell anyone. Any ideas are welcome, thanks in advance.

Scrubs it was definitely one of my favorite shows but I haven’t really watched it in at least a decade. I really used to really dislike Dr. Cox for being so mean to JD and the least favorite part of the show for me was the janitor and how he just randomly tormented JD however as I am re-watching I notice that it doesn’t bother me as much and I can see a lot of Dr. Cox‘s behaviors were justifiable especially when they did the episode about JD getting his own med student. And the janitor just seems like a blip in most episodes and I find it much more funny than I used to.
How do you all feel about these two characters? Do you feel like Dr. Cox is unfairly mean to JD? Do you think the janitor is extra? Or do you like these characters?

For context I(M29) have had the same best friend(F28) for a very long time. We literally meet in 1st grade. A few months ago she just disappeared from my life. Won’t answer texts or calls. I literally have no idea what I did wrong. The last time we spoke her family had thrown a BBQ for her mom and invited me and a few a couple others. We joked laughed and then had a bonfire afterward. I left around midnight. Texted her the next morning to ask how she was because we had drank quite a bit. I haven’t heard from her since. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve never felt so angry and betrayed in my life. We both struggled with depression and were each others support line. I can’t even say I feel sad. Every time I think about it it pisses me off. I’m angry right not, writing this. I don’t know what to do. I was hoping posting this here would help get it off my chest.

So I know it did pretty good in terms of accuracy but it is Hollywood so there are bound to be inaccuracies. For examples, the fact it had Hawaiian lava basically and the fact that the lake wouldn't turn to acid that quick and even if it did, they would burn up from breathing that shit in!
The couple boiling alive in the hot springs... I saw lava shooting up at them! Would they have been found next to each other like that? Also, why did the lava not come out of the water? Did it just stay at the bottom of the water or did it get sucked back down like a vacuum? 🤣Why was that not enough to evacuate the town?
Would the town's water source really smell like sulfur and the mountain not erupt until over 12 hours later?
And was the dam overflooding the result of ice caverns on the volcano melting? I was told that wasn't it but they couldn't tell me any alternatives.
As for driving over the lava, wouldn't the engine just overheat and turn off completely along with the gas tank exploding and burning everyone alive, effectively ending the movie?
And when Sarah Conner asked if they could drive across there, why would James Bond, the VOLCANOLOGIST not know how bad of an idea that is?!
Anf wouldn't they not have been able to outdrive the pyroclastic surge and even in the mines wouldn't it have still cooked them alive?
A lot of these questions are being debated but I'm curious!
Regardless of whether or not these are inaccurate, this is still one of my favorite movies and the sheriff staying behind to help out the national guard was a nice touch considering how against evacuating the town he was. The kids driving terrifies me now as an adult and it pisses me off how Grandma subjected that poor dog to the dangers and then the kids! How on Earth did she maintain her "the mountain will never hurt us!" logic? Is that an old people thing?? Overall I personally rate this movie a 10/10 due to my memories and attachment to it and Pierce Brosnan being fine af! 😍 What is your rating for it?

My in-laws live within driving distance, it takes about 6 hours to get there when driving because we need to stop to feed an infant. We have two children, 2 and 6mo and my in-laws would like us to come for a weekend visit when some other family members are also in town. This means that we are unable to stay at my in-laws house as it’s fully occupied. I can’t figure out how to make it work, our kids thrive on a consistent bedtime so if we stay in a hotel we would be not available for family time from 6:30pm-8am. Also, we have other friends in the area but no one who has space to reasonably host us. My husband and I decided not to go because of how complicated it is with very little actual time with family. Now this is causing family drama as they think we aren’t making an effort.

If you are running a network/IO bound Flask application, you can get a huge speed up just by switching to Quart and changing a couple of keywords.
Go from this:

from random import randint from time import sleep from flask import Flask app = Flask(name) @app.route('/') def simulated_request(): sleep(randint(100, 1000) / 1000) return 'Returned!' 

​
To this:

import asyncio from random import randint from quart import Quart app = Quart(name) @app.route('/') async def simulated_request(): await asyncio.sleep(randint(100, 1000) / 1000) return 'Returned!' 

And you can see improve performance (latency, max TPS) by several-fold.
​
Full details and load tests: https://www.vidavolta.io/how-to-upgrade-your-flask-application-using-async/

This is just an explanation if grief I once heard and I wanted to share it
I heard a great explanation of moving through grief after losing my son. It said that the pain never goes away and it never gets smaller. But. Life grows around it. It's like there is a pain button in a circle and your grief is a ball inside the circle and sometimes the it hits the pain button and you feel it. When your grief is new the circle is very small and the grief ball hits that pain button A LOT. but as time passes the circle gets bigger as it is filled in by the rest of your life. So over time the ball bounces around wth the same ferocity but it hits the button less often. Sure when it hits its like getting barreled down by that tidal wave all over again, but you will get more and more time in between hits and your life will continue to grow. You are not meant to be dominated by that grief forever. So sit with it while it is there. It is valid and real. But do not despair because you will again learn to live and love again and THAT IS OK. it is no disrespect to your loved one to let your life grow around their loss. This was the hardest part for me, to not feel guilty about getting better and moving on. It felt like a slight against my son to not cry every day for him. But it does come and it's OK to heal. It doesn't mean you've forgotten them or love them any less.
Be kind to yourself above all else. Healing is how we honor them and create a beautiful life that treasures their memory and their influence.

Ive been depressed my entire life, I could never recall being happy, this year (senior year of hs) everything changed, I had a lot of fun, made lots of friends and had a reason to get out of bed, I was excited for my art assignments and really loved speaking with my teachers. They are like friends to me. The first friend I made this year ( we will call her Jay.) Gave me confidence to talk more and be myself. She saved me and dosent even know it. Every day I woke up and felt motivated to dress up and go talk with my friends, work on my art projects and other classes. That all sounds good but now theres a problem
Im graduating in a few days, and now all of this will be gone. Im afraid. So afraid. My reason to get out of bed will be gone, I wont be motivated to get up, instead ill be going to the job that I hate, the fun is over and im so scared of having to live the way i did. How can i make sure i dont fall back into the hole i was in? I dont want to live like this.. how does an adult stay happy?

When I was younger my siblings would tease me about boyfriends. It was not harsh bullying or anything malicious. It happened about twice when I was a kid. They see me interact with a boy more than once. Suddenly I had a boyfriend. I was a kid, so naturally, my response would be "Eww boys" and then we moved on with our lives. Now I'm an adult, failing adulthood spectacularly.
My sister has tried to set me up. She met a friend of a friend who she thought we would get along. She calls me and says. "OP I found you a boyfriend." I ended the call right there. Later she tells me about him. It feels like a sugar daddy situation lol. He has everything I don't. A stable job and owns his house and a car. I shut down any potential meeting straight away. I don't want to date. When my mom and sister ask why. I can't give them a definitive answer.
A few months go by, I go to a party held by my sister's friend. The first friend mentioned above. This friend is getting married this year. We are talking about the wedding, the venue, the theme. I love going to weddings because I love to dress up all fancy. I'm enjoying the party when the guy shows up. It had been months at this point, so I totally forgot about his existence. The awkwardness I felt was...awkward.
I don't know what it was but I'm shy upon first meeting. That, combined with my sister's and mother's intentions. Made me want to shrink into a ball. There weren't many people at this party. So I couldn't camouflage effectively. When I did speak with him there was a third person involved. I gave my sister the stink eye when I caught her attention. In return, she made not-so-subtle signs to talk to him. The ride home I admit how I should have seen this coming. But let it go because I knew it was unlikely I see him again.
Which brings me to this post. He will be attending the wedding. Since the party, my mom and sister have mentioned him as my husband or fiancé to other friends and family. Which leads to the retelling of the story above. I just shrug at this because it feels like the teasing I felt before as a kid. This relationship is never going to happen.
I guess I'm just confused about certain aspects of this. Am I being guilt-tripped into dating this guy? Get married, have kids, and have that "happy life" Because it's not working. Could it be something more serious I haven't confronted? I have never dated or had a boyfriend. Is it possible to have a fear of dating? I feel afraid of something, but I don't know how to describe it. Or maybe I'm just shy and confusing it with something more. What do you think? Any advice? Because I'm going to this wedding.