I hate speaking badly about my mom because I love her deeply, but I need a second perspective on this.
I believe my mom is emotionally immature. My dad (who the whole family had a health relationship with) died when I was 12, 7 years ago, and our family expectedly didn’t do well. My mom had more emotional outbursts on me and my brother from her grief. In the years since he died, she has weekly or monthly stress breakdowns where she takes everything out on the creature nearest to her. Sometimes she just yells (and insults and hurts with her words), sometimes it was physical. She only hit me once after my dad passed but she hit my brother more. Most of what I received was verbal, and she’d slam doors and be aggressive with her movements and objects around her. She’d say things like “you’ll regret this when I’m dead” if I was arguing with her or if I was “too lazy”.
I had undiagnosed adhd and clinical depression since my dad passed away so I was “lazy”. I didn’t do well in school, I didn’t help much around the house and spent most of my time sleeping or in bed. According to my mom, it was killing her to see me like that. She didn’t tell me this calmly, through tears, she’d tell me this through shouting and aggression. I completely understand how exhausted she was and is. She lost her husband and was left alone with her 2 kids. Her mother passed away 2 years after my dad from cancer. I KNOW my mom has suffered, but I also know it’s not okay for me to be on the receiving end of her stress and pain. I KNOW I haven’t been productive, and my depression and adhd make it extremely difficult to do anything, but I haven’t been a bad daughter. I make it my mission to never paint her as a bad person, to always understand where she’s coming from, to keep my cool and not stress her more (which I now realize is walking on eggshells). I may not be the daughter she wants or needs but I’m trying my best, and I’ve never treated her the way she treats me. I’ve never insulted her, I hardly ever raise my voice and I’ve always treated her with respect.
But I’m getting tired. Every time we argue, she insults me badly. She tells me that leaving Christianity (which is one of the reasons I have mental issues now) would’ve made me dad hate me. She says “thank god your dad isn’t alive because he would’ve hated to see how lazy you and your brother are”. She says “you’ll feel so guilty once I’m dead” pretty often, any time she’s pissed. She mocks me like a child would, bringing up things I previously opened up to her about. She says “it’s okay” and validates my issues only to bring up how fucking sick of them she is in a later argument. She says I was selfish for asking god to heal me. She says “I’m the only person who does anything good for you” when I tell her how I feel about the things she says. She such hurtful things in the heat of her anger and until today, I excused her CONSTANTLY. I said she didn’t mean those things but those things HURT, ANS she never apologizes for them. She’ll yell at me and insult me then pretend nothing happened and will act so nice to me a minute later.
I feel hyper vigilant around her, like I have to make sure I act the right way and say the right things so I don’t become a target. I procrastinate my sleep because it’s the only time I don’t feel watched and judged to do what I want. I walk on eggshells around her and put her feelings before my own. I bottle up my feelings and take in her insults without being able to speak back because “she’s my mother and it’s her right to treat me how she wants”.
What makes all of this so confusing to me is that she HAS been a great mother. She held me when I cried, consoled me any time I was anxious, she’s been there for me with my chronic health issues and she and I have good times together. We laugh and have fun, we have deep conversations and she’s only person I feel like I can be myself around, even if I don’t let my guard fully down. I don’t know what to think of this or where to go from now. I feel overwhelmed with guilt even THINKING about sharing this with anyone, because she’s been good to me. But I know she’s emotionally immature, and she doesn’t care to self reflect enough to see it herself. She doesn’t want therapy and she doesn’t want to hear anything. The only time she’s verbally told me she thinks shes imperfect, I felt horrible guilty afterward and made it my mission to let her know I love her.
I don’t want to hurt her, but shes hurting me, and I think I just need someone to tell me its okay to recognize that she DOES hurt me, even if she’s been a good mother.

I hate speaking badly about my mom because I love her deeply, but I need a second perspective on this.
I believe my mom is emotionally immature. My dad (who the whole family had a health relationship with) died when I was 12, 7 years ago, and our family expectedly didn’t do well. My mom had more emotional outbursts on me and my brother from her grief. In the years since he died, she has weekly or monthly stress breakdowns where she takes everything out on the creature nearest to her. Sometimes she just yells (and insults and hurts with her words), sometimes it was physical. She only hit me once after my dad passed but she hit my brother more. Most of what I received was verbal, and she’d slam doors and be aggressive with her movements and objects around her. She’d say things like “you’ll regret this when I’m dead” if I was arguing with her or if I was “too lazy”.
I had undiagnosed adhd and clinical depression since my dad passed away so I was “lazy”. I didn’t do well in school, I didn’t help much around the house and spent most of my time sleeping or in bed. According to my mom, it was killing her to see me like that. She didn’t tell me this calmly, through tears, she’d tell me this through shouting and aggression. I completely understand how exhausted she was and is. She lost her husband and was left alone with her 2 kids. Her mother passed away 2 years after my dad from cancer. I KNOW my mom has suffered, but I also know it’s not okay for me to be on the receiving end of her stress and pain. I KNOW I haven’t been productive, and my depression and adhd make it extremely difficult to do anything, but I haven’t been a bad daughter. I make it my mission to never paint her as a bad person, to always understand where she’s coming from, to keep my cool and not stress her more (which I now realize is walking on eggshells). I may not be the daughter she wants or needs but I’m trying my best, and I’ve never treated her the way she treats me. I’ve never insulted her, I hardly ever raise my voice and I’ve always treated her with respect.
But I’m getting tired. Every time we argue, she insults me badly. She tells me that leaving Christianity (which is one of the reasons I have mental issues now) would’ve made me dad hate me. She says “thank god your dad isn’t alive because he would’ve hated to see how lazy you and your brother are”. She says “you’ll feel so guilty once I’m dead” pretty often, any time she’s pissed. She mocks me like a child would, bringing up things I previously opened up to her about. She says “it’s okay” and validates my issues only to bring up how fucking sick of them she is in a later argument. She says I was selfish for asking god to heal me. She says “I’m the only person who does anything good for you” when I tell her how I feel about the things she says. She such hurtful things in the heat of her anger and until today, I excused her CONSTANTLY. I said she didn’t mean those things but those things HURT, ANS she never apologizes for them. She’ll yell at me and insult me then pretend nothing happened and will act so nice to me a minute later.
I feel hyper vigilant around her, like I have to make sure I act the right way and say the right things so I don’t become a target. I procrastinate my sleep because it’s the only time I don’t feel watched and judged to do what I want. I walk on eggshells around her and put her feelings before my own. I bottle up my feelings and take in her insults without being able to speak back because “she’s my mother and it’s her right to treat me how she wants”.
What makes all of this so confusing to me is that she HAS been a great mother. She held me when I cried, consoled me any time I was anxious, she’s been there for me with my chronic health issues and she and I have good times together. We laugh and have fun, we have deep conversations and she’s only person I feel like I can be myself around, even if I don’t let my guard fully down. I don’t know what to think of this or where to go from now. I feel overwhelmed with guilt even THINKING about sharing this with anyone, because she’s been good to me. But I know she’s emotionally immature, and she doesn’t care to self reflect enough to see it herself. She doesn’t want therapy and she doesn’t want to hear anything. The only time she’s verbally told me she thinks shes imperfect, I felt horrible guilty afterward and made it my mission to let her know I love her.
I don’t want to hurt her, but shes hurting me, and I think I just need someone to tell me its okay to recognize that she DOES hurt me, even if she’s been a good mother.

I hate speaking badly about my mom because I love her deeply, but I need a second perspective on this.
I believe my mom is emotionally immature. My dad (who the whole family had a health relationship with) died when I was 12, 7 years ago, and our family expectedly didn’t do well. My mom had more emotional outbursts on me and my brother from her grief. In the years since he died, she has weekly or monthly stress breakdowns where she takes everything out on the creature nearest to her. Sometimes she just yells (and insults and hurts with her words), sometimes it was physical. She only hit me once after my dad passed but she hit my brother more. Most of what I received was verbal, and she’d slam doors and be aggressive with her movements and objects around her. She’d say things like “you’ll regret this when I’m dead” if I was arguing with her or if I was “too lazy”.
I had undiagnosed adhd and clinical depression since my dad passed away so I was “lazy”. I didn’t do well in school, I didn’t help much around the house and spent most of my time sleeping or in bed. According to my mom, it was killing her to see me like that. She didn’t tell me this calmly, through tears, she’d tell me this through shouting and aggression. I completely understand how exhausted she was and is. She lost her husband and was left alone with her 2 kids. Her mother passed away 2 years after my dad from cancer. I KNOW my mom has suffered, but I also know it’s not okay for me to be on the receiving end of her stress and pain. I KNOW I haven’t been productive, and my depression and adhd make it extremely difficult to do anything, but I haven’t been a bad daughter. I make it my mission to never paint her as a bad person, to always understand where she’s coming from, to keep my cool and not stress her more (which I now realize is walking on eggshells). I may not be the daughter she wants or needs but I’m trying my best, and I’ve never treated her the way she treats me. I’ve never insulted her, I hardly ever raise my voice and I’ve always treated her with respect.
But I’m getting tired. Every time we argue, she insults me badly. She tells me that leaving Christianity (which is one of the reasons I have mental issues now) would’ve made me dad hate me. She says “thank god your dad isn’t alive because he would’ve hated to see how lazy you and your brother are”. She says “you’ll feel so guilty once I’m dead” pretty often, any time she’s pissed. She mocks me like a child would, bringing up things I previously opened up to her about. She says “it’s okay” and validates my issues only to bring up how fucking sick of them she is in a later argument. She says I was selfish for asking god to heal me. She says “I’m the only person who does anything good for you” when I tell her how I feel about the things she says. She such hurtful things in the heat of her anger and until today, I excused her CONSTANTLY. I said she didn’t mean those things but those things HURT, ANS she never apologizes for them. She’ll yell at me and insult me then pretend nothing happened and will act so nice to me a minute later.
I feel hyper vigilant around her, like I have to make sure I act the right way and say the right things so I don’t become a target. I procrastinate my sleep because it’s the only time I don’t feel watched and judged to do what I want. I walk on eggshells around her and put her feelings before my own. I bottle up my feelings and take in her insults without being able to speak back because “she’s my mother and it’s her right to treat me how she wants”.
What makes all of this so confusing to me is that she HAS been a great mother. She held me when I cried, consoled me any time I was anxious, she’s been there for me with my chronic health issues and she and I have good times together. We laugh and have fun, we have deep conversations and she’s only person I feel like I can be myself around, even if I don’t let my guard fully down. I don’t know what to think of this or where to go from now. I feel overwhelmed with guilt even THINKING about sharing this with anyone, because she’s been good to me. But I know she’s emotionally immature, and she doesn’t care to self reflect enough to see it herself. She doesn’t want therapy and she doesn’t want to hear anything. The only time she’s verbally told me she thinks shes imperfect, I felt horrible guilty afterward and made it my mission to let her know I love her.
I don’t want to hurt her, but shes hurting me, and I think I just need someone to tell me its okay to recognize that she DOES hurt me, even if she’s been a good mother.

Looking for someone who enjoys giving handjobs, edging, worshipping / generally pleasing cock manually. If that is of interest to you, well i'm your guy. im 6'0, 160lbs, hygienic, well adjusted, professional and healthy. (both physically and mentally, therapy receipts available if you need lol) I pride myself on consent and making sure people are comfortable and feel safe. happy to discuss in more detail what turns you on, how you would like to explore, practice or just do something NSA.

I was diagnosed with scheuermann's desease a few year ago; however, it did not develop thanks to some corrective measures and physical therapy.
I'm 18 now and have gotten into weightlifting for a few months, but avoiding anything from squats to deadlifts (my doctor told me to avoid them back when I was diagnosed). I would like to incorporate them into my workouts, would this be detrimental?
I hope you have a great week!

Howdy folks, so after not really touching this particular set of TR games since Legend on the Gamecube, I finally decided to sit down and go through the "Next Gen" version of it plus the other two in it's Trilogy for the first time, and since I played on Xbox I was also able to purchase and play the two story expansions for Underworld but more on those in a bit.
If you care about story, start here - I'll run through the story and lit tidbits about the games as a whole, and then conclude my nitpicks and praises per game about gameplay and such so lesgo - - The story actually starts with Anniversary, as it's a remake of Tomb Raider (1996). Despite it not originally releasing on the Xbox 360 until a later date from the Playstation/PC release, it's actually essential you understand what happens in the plot. It's available on Xbox as both DLC for TR Legend and as a Standalone. This also means you must own and play Anniversary through Legend if you wish to get 100% achievements. The story though, starts in said remade year, 1996 - Lara is greeted by a man named Larson, who with a little satellite PDA looking thing? (I think it's a laptop in the original, but I can't tell what it's supposed to be in Anniversary) introduces Lara to Natla, who sends her on the quest of getting one of the pieces of the Scion of Atlantis. This has Lara travelling from the likes of Peru, Greece and Egypt battling things from bats and bears to flying, fireball spitting goblins and minotaurs. Once Lara has obtained two of the pieces, a vision is played in her head where some of the lore is explained by Steve Blum. The second time this happens (after getting the third piece and completing the Scion) more lore is explained and it's shown that Natla is obviously the game's big bad - so Lara wakes up from this revelation with Natla holding the now complete Scion and Lara's in custody by Natla's baddies and has been robbed of her weapons (this is a bummer). Natla leaves in a car on her way to a boat while Lara QTEs her way out of a tight situation and cutscenes her way onto a motorcycle chase and Lara sneaking her way onto said boat. Somehow the baddies you QTE'd are also on this boat before you. The Final level takes on an Unknown Island where Natla has been digging. Since Lara doesn't have her weapons after the last cutscene - her first objective is to get her hands on some inconveniently placed Dual Pistols. After completing the area's final puzzle and getting the mine cart moving, Larson shows up to stop Lara until she kills him in a QTE. This really has psychological damage that she seems to forget about in the following games but the game carries on until she can QTE her way through the last few of Natlas goons and mozie on about the wicked structure within. This wicked structure within is what Lara eventually realizes is essentially Atlantis in a confrontation with Natla, who then asks the obvious rhetorical question of "Would you join me?". This results in Lara shooting the Scion and breaking it, thus finally giving her some boss fights that end with us on top and Lara stealing a boat. - Legend starts with a flashback and doesn't acknowledge any of what I just said because "technically" hasn't happened yet because Anniversary came later. The flashback is of Lara as a child and her mother in a plane during some rather turbulent weather. This results in the plane crashing and Lara waking up while climbing cliffs. Not sure how safe it is to sleep while rockclimbing but she's the expert, not me. The game kicks off in Bolivia as Lara as information of certain artifacts that possibly have to do with other flashbacks tied to why she's here and her mom isn't. This game has Lara mostly killing human enemies, with the tutorials going from platforming and equipment to combat in a pretty quick amount of time. The other games usually start with something small, but Legend starts with guns in your direction. Anywho, at the end of Bolivia, Lara is confronted by a man named Rutland who talks a lot but doesn't really respond to anything Lara says and an obscured antagonist from Lara's past named Amanda. After Lara commits several counts of murder the game picks up and goes to Peru because of a thing Rutland says. Peru has Lara going through more baddies until a pretty cool motorcycle sequence ending in she and her escort arriving at an old dig site (the one Rutland mentions). This takes us into a gameplay flashback where we get a "Classic Lara" bit without weapons. It's all platforming and puzzles which isn't a bad thing! However, what is a bad thing is a mysterious Wraith that appears in these mines and ends up killing everyone in the flashback except Amanda. They become the best of friends - Snap back to reality and "modern Lara" goes through the same, but more decrepit mines, making good progress until we've been ambushed by Rutland's baddies. After more murder, Lara helps the escort friend who is also counted in the ambush and this ends the level because Lara is realizing more things are connected. From Peru we go to Japan because a Yakuza member has something we want, and we're willing to kill him for it. After we doesn't want to give it to us without death, we slay numerous of his minions and eventually... HIM! Taking his artifact with us we head to Ghana because that's where Rutland is, and we want the piece he was waving around because it looks like the piece we got from the Yakuza man. We kill Rutland just to be sure, and viola! They DO go together! Wrapping this up because not a lot of story happens but there's a fight with Amanda's Wraith, we seemingly kill it with the power of Tesla, from Kazakhstan the game takes us to England, presumably the Tomb of King Arthur, where it's realized that the Artifacts we've been gathering are actually fragments Excalibur. We also kill a big snake here, maybe two of them but I'm unsure. From the Tomb it's off to Nepal - the crash site of the beginning of the game's Flashback. After getting our mother's pendant from the crash in a QTE we proceed through the level until it's time to put the pieces together and complete the Sword. Completing the Sword sets us off to the final section of the first level - Bolivia, where after some fighting with goons and Amanda, Lara puts the sword into the ruins and touches them in an order based on something she wrote as a child. This starts a scene that looks like the other side of a flashback Lara had, showing that Lara had initiated a device that her mother pulled her away from, the device seemingly yelled at her causing her mothing to pull the sword from the stone and vanish. In modern time, we hear Lara trying to communicate with her mother, the way it plays out would indicate that "modern Lara" is the reason her past mother pulls the sword and disappears. Amanda is in the background yelling for "modern Lara" to pull out the sword but she doesn't and the machine explodes. This upsets Amanda who seemingly was trying to use the machine to go to a place called Avalon and claims that's where Lara's mother "currently" is. This interaction ends with Amanda getting pistol whipped. - Underworld starts with Croft Manor exploding (this is bad). Lara tutorials her way through the burning house until she ends up at the front door with her butler and Zip. Zip is mostly a voice in Tomb Raider Legend but does have a model and does appear in Legend's Manor mode. I didn't mention him before because he doesn't really do anything in that game besides quip over the radio. He's here now and with a gun, and he doesn't like us too much but before we can find out why he started blasting the game does that super cool thing media sometimes does where it takes us back in time a few weeks so we can build up to and expand that moment. The game puts us in the Mediterranian Sea, where Lara is looking for clues to Avalon, as mentioned at the end of Legend. The game ends up going almost full Norse mythology as Lara's venturing in the caves of the sea leads her to discovering a gauntlet of Thor. Only to then be ambushed by soldiers of no other, Amanda. The soliders knock Lara out and take the gauntlet but leave her guns. They do take her bullets in a cutscene but that's silly because she has unlimited ammo in those things. The baddies start detonating the caves so we need to get out and make our way back to our boat. Doing this sets Lara off to the nearby baddie ship. Going guns a blazing on the ship results in Lara finding a big ole tube with none other than Natla within it. After some words are exchanged, Amanda shows up to break up the interaction and take Natla off the boat by helicopter. With the boat now going down because Lara's on it, Lara needs to get off of it and fire potshots at Amanda as she climbs the helicopter ladder. After taking a graze to the chin Amanda throws the gauntlet into the ocean, causing Lara to jump in and retrieve it. If you're wondering "Why would she do that?" it turns out it's Account-Bound to Lara from when she interacted with it before the goons stole it and is therefore useless to anyone but Lara. From the ocean to Thailand, Lara goes delving into ruins that she learns her father was once also looking into. Once she discovers a clue left by her father she goes home, taking us down into the crypts of Croft Manor where Lara finds that her father had the other gauntlet of Thor. Lara does the obvious and binds it to her as well, giving her access to a new mechanic that only appears like 4 times the entire game. However, we can't think about that now because an explosion takes us back through the beginning of the game where we find out the reason Zip wanted to dust Lara is because there's a Doppleganger, like from the end of Anniversary but not a full mimic and with skin! The doppleganger kills our other "over the comms" friend Alistar which is very sad, I think. Lara gets Allistar's body out of the crumbling house and goes back to business as usual, believing it will lead her to those responsible for his death. She's correct, but not immediately. First she needs to get the belt of Thor, which she does which then leads to the obvious "So can she wield Mjolnir?" and yeah, you totally can and it's totally sick! However, what isn't sick is needing Natla's help to get to Avalon, because oh yeah, that was the objective - but we needed our MacGuffins first! Lara uses the hammer on an identical looking boat to the one that went down earlier, freeing Natla with the assistance of Mjolnir and the doppleganger pulls an Episode VI and just yeets Amanda overboard. Upon arriving where Natla told us to go so we could go to Avalon, we find a thrall of our mom that Natla made, because trauma is cool. This has Lara shooting her mom thrall and finding out that yeah, the doppleganger listens to Natla and is going to kill us now, and that Natla lied and used Lara the same we she used Lara's dad. Natla's trying to bring about the end of the world and goes on her way to do that. The doppleganger is thwarted by Amanda who somehow lives and tells us to go finish Natla because "ending the world" wasn't part of her (Amanda's) plan. Upon arriving at the end of the game Lara has to platform her way around Natla's thralls and fireballs while making the world ending device unstable. After unstabilizing the device, Natla tries to save it but gets Mjolnir tossed at her head for her efforts. After taking Natla down, Lara goes to help Amanda while they try to figure our how to not die here. It's figured out by remembering what happened in Tomb Raider Legend and so Lara and Amanda pull the sword from the stone, sending them through the network and back to somewhere in the world, not sure where but I don't believe it's Bolivia. "The game ends" with Amanda and Lara going their separate ways and Excalibur staying in Lara's possession once again. - "The game ends" is what I WOULD say if I played this on any other platform, but for some reason the Xbox 360 exclusively got two post-story expansions. The first is Beneath the Ashes, which has Lara going back under the Manor (post explosion) and trying to recover an artifact that would, in theory, let Lara control the thralls much like Natla does. Fortunately, after finding the device she finds out that this works well indeed, as the doppleganger had showed up to finish the job before being converted under Lara's control and being sent to finish Natla. - The second expansion, Lara's Shadow has you playing as the doppleganger and it actually starts when Amanda yeets the doppleganger off of Lara before the final battle. The clone wakes up, beginning gameplay and it proceeds to look for Natla so it can help her cover. It finds her, helps her into a revitalization chamber and turns it on. Natla sends the clone off to finish Lara then finish itself (rude). The game then puts us at the end of the prior expansion where Lara gains control of the clone with the device she found under the Manor. In an extended version of that scene, Lara frees the clone of it being bound to servitude and requests that it "Make sure Natla suffers". It does. It heads back to the place where Natla is resting, destroys the machine, and without uttering a word, lets Natla drown as she struggles to comprehend why it won't obey anymore. It's REALLY messed up, all things considered. THAT is how the game ends, and the trilogy for that matter as the series would get rebooted again in 2013, kicking off the Survivor trilogy.
If you don't care about the story start here - Now that the story is out of the way, here's the "game parts" per game:
Legend - Easiest of the three, outside of some wonky physics the game is pretty functional and a heck of a good time. Favorite level is Japan. Even though it's by far the shortest, it's the most pleasing to me in the game. Collectibles were pretty fun to obtain as well. I didn't get em all but felt good about the ones I did find. Gunplay is also the most basic of the three but it's the one I like the most because Anniversary and Underworld just feel like they have gimmicks strapped on. A complaint many would have is how short and linear the game is. None of the levels really ever wrap around on themselves and some are legitimately just a straight line. It's an entertaining straight line, though.
Anniversary - Definitely the hardest of the three games, not in combat, just some of the platforming and timing windows are incredibly tight. I definitely struggled through some of the later sections, but I still enjoyed myself. This one definitely feels the most "Tomb Raider" because it's a remake. My main complaint are how many QTEs there are and me personally not being a fan of the Adrenaline Dodge. It felt incredibly inconsistent. This one I believe is a Backwards Compatibility issue but may be worth noting - on an Xbox One X, this game has a little strip of pixels in the bottom left corner of the screen. It goes away during cinematics but is otherwise there during gameplay and honestly looks like a dying GPU. It's not, fortunately, but it IS consistent enough of an issue that you can look up XBX gameplay videos of this particular game and see the pixels in the capture or even people in the comments saying, "Oh I see that you have the issue too". The only way I've "fixed" this is through HDMI Override on the Xbox and TV setting finicking to effectively zoom in just enough of the screen where those pixels are off view. Favorite section of the game was the Midas Palace, also enjoyed the visual of the Sphynx in Sanctuary of the Scion as well.
Underworld - My goodness, the camera is absolutely dreadful. It's almost like it's trying to be "stuck" to Lara so any time you're climbing you can see the camera jitter vertically a little bit. It also loses its mind in tight places, very nauseating. Gunplay is fine, you have all of the weapons from the start and swap through them on the PDA so Ammo is really never a problem. It also had an "Adrenaline" Mode that you built up rather than it being forced upon you, it One Hits literally anything so it's best to save it on "elites". Pretty handy at the end of the game but I definitely forgot about it for the first several hours. I didn't have a favorite level for this game, but I did appreciate how big some of the levels like Remnants/Bhogavati and The Unnamed Days/Xibalba are - visually a lot of them were very nice and I can tell "Next Gen" was a focus considering those open levels are absolutely littered with things like reacting foliage just to push it a little more. That being said while they looked nice, I didn't really love playing through them, especially when going through them too quickly shows pop-in issues. Last words are that I wish the DLCs weren't tied to the platform, they're honestly good stories and super fun puzzles for what they are, even if they are wrapped in Underworld's engine troubles.
Soooooooooooooooooo yeah, that's pretty much it - there's some top notch platforming and some really pretty levels marred in some annoying camera, hit detection and physics issues across all three titles. Still an absolutely worth it adventure if you don't mind when a game fights back a little :)
My ranking is: 1. Legend (Mostly for nostalgia) 2. Anniversary (if it weren't for my nostalgia, this would be #1) 3. Underworld (Idk, I didn't hate it but the Story/DLC and visuals are really all that game has going for me personally)

​
Cliff Smith grunts as he wraps his hands around the barbell, bends his knees, and lowers his six-foot-three frame toward the floor. He tenses his entire body, exhales twice, and starts pulling 455 pounds upward. His legs shake as he stands fully upright, and then he lowers the weight, breathes deeply, and does it all over again. He does five total reps, then drops the bar and smiles. "Ain't even winded," he says. "Holla at me. "
The five reps are a personal best for Smith (better known as Method Man), who loves starting his day by chasing PRs.
On this morning, he's in a Staten Island gym pondering his next milestone birthday (he turns 50 in March) and crushing sets of deadlifts, pullups, and barbell rows. "I gotta get my roses now," he says,"because I'm almost 50 fucking years old. Damn near 50 years old, bruh. "The Grammy Award-winning rap veteran has focused creativity into a host of projects lately. He appears in Starz's drama Power Book II: Ghost (returning for the second half of its first season in December); he voiced the character Ben Urich in Marvels, a narrative-fiction podcast; and he's working on new music.
His morning workout has readied him for all that-and it's kept him from predawn video-game marathons. In 2018, Smith says, he was battling insomnia, frequently waking at 2:00 and playing NBA2K. Realizing he was "just wasting time," Smith searched for a more productive use of his early-morning hours. "So at 4:00 , I find myself in the gym working out," he says. "Two days turned into three days. Three days turned into five days, and I've been consistent ever since. " Bonus: His insomnia is gone.
Smith now weighs 219, 12 pounds less than he weighed when he first started training. He hits legs Mondays, shoulders Tuesdays, back Wednesdays, chest Thursdays, and arms Fridays. "He's a beast," says his workout partner, Joey Crespo. "Our routine has only been heavy, heavy, all year round. "
At the moment, that means gritting out three sets of seated lat pulldowns, followed by a core exercise that has him on his knees, rolling a wheel forward, challenging his abs. He finishes the session by sitting on a bench with a harness connected to his forehead, a weight hanging in front of his chest. He lowers his head to look at the ground, then flexes his neck muscles to raise his head and look straight ahead, an old-school neck exercise that few gym-goers will do. Smith does it regularly. "Regardless of how tired I get, no matter what the workout is, I at least will try it," he says between deep breaths. "I'm not going to say no to anything. "
You may not have Method Man's fancy neck-training gear or his deadlift weight. But if you have a resistance band, you can try his favorite at-home regimen.
Pushups
Do 25 to 30 reps. Aim for 5 sets.
Banded Curl
Stand on a resistance band, its ends held at your sides, your core tight. Curl up, squeezing your biceps; then lower. That's 1 rep; do 15 to Do 5 sets.
Banded Shoulder Press
Stand on a resistance band, its ends held at your shoulders, your core tight. Tighten your shoulder blades and press the band overhead. Pause, then return to the start. That's 1 rep; do 15 to Do 5 sets.
A version of this story originally appears in the November 2020 issue of Men's Health, with the title "The 6 Workout w/ Method Man".

I would ask the Lord to help me in fighting my depression, suicidal thoughts and loneliness but as the days go by it’s like what’s the point? I have Been in this battle for almost 4 years. Struggling to find employment so I can help my mother, the last real friend I had was when I was 10….I turn 20 in august. Got randomly cut off by almost everyone. I am seen as an outcast no matter where I am at. I try being as polite as I can possibly be to others, just so that they don’t think I’m a leech of a person. Outside of my mother, I am not close with anyone in the family. I found the Lord just last year. Read his word, formed a relationship with him. I could just never hear his voice or hear what he has to say like other believers can. It is partially my fault I will admit, due to me not being on fire for him like I should be. For the new year I had high hopes to better than I was last year emotionally and somewhat physically, and I have failed. I tried therapy, anti-depressants, getting active, focusing on the Lord…..but nothing seemed to be taking my mind off what the devil has been telling me. Jonah 4:3 and 2 Kings 19:4 have been hitting different lately. I know the Lord doesn’t show favoritism and hates jealousy, but I just cannot help but feel that way towards believers who seem to have everything going on for them. Friends that care, job opportunities, self-confidence, family that loves them, God answering their prayers right on the spot, etc. Meanwhile here I am, getting ignored by jobs left and right, fighting the urge not to end it, and being the burden that I am to others. Whoever is reading this may the Lord bless you with everything you’ve been asking for and more…..as it seems I have been left in dust.

idk if i really should say this but i'm pretty sus of her psychologist. I AM NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST, but it's a field i want to go into, and have been in therapy myself for like a decade. so take all of this with a grain of salt, but i do have some amount of familiarity with how therapists and psychologists are expected to act and the shit she's supposedly doing and being told in therapy has me giving side eye.
one more thing before i get started-- i want to stress that i am not trying to say this psychologist is bad at his job. obey rule 2 + leave bro alone and out of this. he's just some dude, and he may not be saying any of what amber says he does. hell, he might not even exist. this post is PURELY to discuss, subjectively, the qualms i have with how amber's therapy is being handled (on both ends) exclusively using word of mouth from amber's very warped videos. heaps of salt (and decency) all around.
okay enough preamble, we're starting with the PTSD.
i'm currently being treated myself for PTSD (this is not to debate whether she has that though), and i think the test she referenced a bit ago was the PCL-5. the PCL-5 is NOT to diagnose PTSD*. the PCL-5 is to measure symptoms associated with PTSD. if you have not yet been diagnosed or treated for PTSD and your score is a 33 or higher, it does not inherently mean that you have PTSD, but rather, means the possibility of PTSD is present and should be looked into by your mental healthcare provider. this is not what amber said. amber said 33+ = PTSD and she had SOOOO much more than 33 so she's the PTSD queen of the world.
*the PCL-5 is a tool used IN PTSD diagnosis. it on its own cannot diagnose anything, but this does not negate its importance as a factor in diagnosis.
so either her psychologist told her that the PCL-5 was essentially a magic diagnose-er, or he told her what it actually is and she warped it (but it might also have been something in between, which is still not good). amber is amber and she will always find a way to blow something out of proportion, but the fact that she felt inclined or was able to present it the way she did tells me that her psych may not have stressed what these things actually are, which in my own experience, is an issue. as a therapist you need to accurately present things to your patients, and you shouldn't throw diagnostic language around willy nilly or pin diagnosis on literal inanimate objects (ie, this test diagnoses disorders). that is not appropriate, and can give patients a warped idea of themselves, their mental health, and the wider mental health sphere (i also think it's a little odd that, if this is the PCL-5, that amber may not have been told as much. sure, her psychologist absolutely could have introduced it correctly, but amber has basically only called it "this test" or "a worksheet" as though she isn't sure what she's talking about. the ambiguity there, while also presenting it as this inanimate wizard of diagnosis, feels very off to me).
PTSD, like any other disorder, also takes some time to diagnose completely. you don't just walk in there, do one or two sessions with a therapist, and BOOM diagnosis. that's not appropriate. for most diagnoses, a therapist needs to (or at least should...):

1. actually get to understand the patient, who they are, any conditions they may have already been diagnosed with, the medication they're on, at least a rough idea of the lifestyle they have, the symptoms they're dealing with, etc
2. know of the specific incident (because generally, PTSD is caused by one major moment of trauma) that would have caused the disorder (not necessarily in detail, but just know what it was, e.g., a car crash, a fire, an assault, etc)
3. evaluate whether hearing "you most likely/do have PTSD" will actually be helpful to the patient, AND if they're completely ready to be treated. not everyone does well with diagnoses. some people freak out at the idea of being 'broken' in some way, some people think that once they get a diagnosis it means that's their identity now and they can't be fixed, some people hear a diagnostic term and take it as a scapegoat, many people experience a combo of these things. personally were i amberlynn's therapist i would be extremely hesitant to offer up concrete diagnoses unless i thought she may need to talk to her PCP/psychiatrist about medication, because she mistreats her diagnoses. with PTSD it's not something you can really treat without any form of PTSD diagnosis, but also, PTSD is not something people are always ready to conquer treatment for when they first present to you. i'll expand upon this below, but for the sake of this bullet, someone who will treat their PTSD diagnosis the way amber does imo (i.e., her quirky identity and something to be quantified in numbers) may not yet be ready to hear the diagnosis, and likely isn't ready to treat it either.

amber effectively was diagnosed with PTSD on her, what, second appointment? third? first? either way, that just doesn't spell fantastic therapy work to me. i've been seeing my current therapist for 4-ish years and was just diagnosed with PTSD this year (after around 2 years of lightly discussing my trauma). when i was diagnosed my therapist already knew me very well. she at that point was familiar with my trauma, familiar with my life, with my symptoms, with how my mental health impacts me, and knew that i was finally ready to actually deal with it. they were interested in tackling it a year or two ago, but at the time, recognized i just wasn't ready and we've saved it for now. on top of that, my therapist waited until i showed them that i was comfortable with the situation + was prepared to hear it to refer to my condition as PTSD in order to avoid creating any anxiety before we even got started with treatment.
i think it's very strange that, at least by the sound of it, her therapist jumped on the opportunity to diagnose her with this very serious disorder (though entirely curable-- let's all be reminded that it is not an identity. if amber starts treating this/talking about it like it's part of her that can't be fixed or changed that'll be yet ANOTHER red flag, PTSD is absolutely curable and that's the whole point of treatment).
what i also find inappropriate as someone being treated for PTSD is that he has her write physical essays recounting major traumatic moments. maybe this is something some therapists do, but to ME it's a little problematic. why would you instruct your patient to keep a physical log, that any other person could access and read, of the worst moment(s) of their life?!? i've already gone into enough detail about myself and my treatment, but TLDR, i have to do something slightly similar but it's in a way that is completely private and confidential (i.e., behind a passcode only i know, not physical, and digitally stored in a way that literally cannot be breached and is DESIGNED for use in this kind of therapy). confidentiality is a big part of this and amber should understand that. why does she find it appropriate to record herself immediately before and immediately after therapy, share what she's going to do, what she did as homework, etc, and why does her therapist find it okay that she's writing these extremely personal accounts on physical sheets of paper (or even recommended it) when she has every resource in the world to keep things confidential?
but speaking of weird diagnostic shit, let's talk about how he addressed the BED that she suddenly, officially doesn't have.
idk about any of you, but not once have i had a therapist say "y disorder is when z. that is the definition of that disorder and it cannot be experienced in any other way". i sound like a broken record but i find it pretty damn inappropriate that a mental health professional would tell her "bingeing is when you eat 3x what you normally would. if you don't eat 3x what you ordinarily would when you binge, then you simply don't binge", partly because it's just not good practice to speak about mental disorders with such strict absolutes, but also because it's just... wrong? Mayo Clinic defines binge eating disorder as follows: "Binge-eating disorder is a serious eating disorder in which you frequently consume unusually large amounts of food and feel unable to stop eating." these are the symptoms they list (but they are not limited to the following):

• Eating unusually large amounts of food in a specific amount of time, such as over a two-hour period
• Feeling that your eating behavior is out of control
• Eating even when you're full or not hungry
• Eating rapidly during binge episodes
• Eating until you're uncomfortably full
• Frequently eating alone or in secret
• Feeling depressed, disgusted, ashamed, guilty or upset about your eating
• Frequently dieting, possibly without weight loss

(cred. Mayo Clinic)
do we see "bingeing is when you eat 3x what you normally would" anywhere on there? no. idk where he even got that. not to mention, there IS no normal for amber. every meal she consumes is excessive and is what many of us would call binge eating or at the very least overeating. by this definition if she binges at every meal, well, she doesn't binge at all because it would all be the same amount, not 3x whatever. this whole concept is a crock of shit. the language is all kinds of bunk (why would you use the word "normally" when referring to behavior outside of the disordered behavior? not only can it be ableist in some context it's also just.. incredibly loose) and completely negates the actual symptoms of bingeing, ALL of which amber displays.
yes. i understand that amber could have (read: probably... definitely) lied about her symptoms for the sake of her WLS (allegedly, in my opinion, don't sue me please). however, that's irrelevant to what the psychologist supposedly told her. even if she told him she did all of the above, if he really believes in such a rigid (and ridiculous) definition, it wouldn't even matter.
i'm very curious and suspicious about the whole BED un-diagnosis. for years amber has said she binge eats, she's presented all of these symptoms, and IIRC she has been told by other therapists/psychologists/drs that she has it. i think most of us, even without being mental health professionals, have at least some level of understanding of binge eating. the fact that he has this definition in his mind (according to amber anyway) baffles me, but what baffles me more is that he so easily said "oh, you definitely don't have BED" just a few weeks in to therapy with a woman who would otherwise have had to see him for a full year because of BED. from what we've heard he's incredibly eager to pounce on diagnoses, which is a huge red flag. again. yes. she could have lied to him about her current symptoms but that wouldn't change the fact that she's BEEN saying, to the clinic with which he is affiliated, that she has BED for an extended period of time. that wouldn't change the fact that she's been told this by so many professionals. both of these, i would think he'd have some kind of awareness of. it also wouldn't change the fact that his supposed definition of BED is just literally wrong.
this whole situation type deal has me BEYOND suspicious. please tell me i'm not the only one who thinks this therapy sounds very strange...

My (25m) fiancé (26f) eve has been struggling with her self image dude to gaining some weight and it’s caused our sex life to become almost non existent for the last 3 years and I want to make her feel good about herself again to try and get our intimacy back. Eve is a beautiful women in my eyes and has gotten more beautiful everyday since I’ve met her, but she is so unhappy with how she looks it’s caused her to not want to be physical with me anymore. When we first started seeing each other 5 years ago we had no problems with intimacy for the first 2 years but then things changed.
We have had sex two times a year for 3 years and she says she’s disgusted with herself and that’s why she doesn’t want to have sex. I want to be understanding of that and be here for her but I also want to be intimate with the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with. But I don’t want to force her to do something she doesn’t want to just so I can be happy. This is just hard for me because I need physical attention in a relationship and I’m worried about our future together if we can’t change things.
We’ve gone to therapy together and separate to try and help our relationship but nothing seems to be helping. So I’ve come to Reddit to see if anyone can help me find a way to help make my fiancé feel good about herself again. I want to know how can make her see how beautiful she is, so we can try and rekindle our intimacy that we used to have. How can I make someone feel beautiful if they don’t like how they look?
TLDR: fiancé doesn’t like how she looks now and doesn’t want to be intimate, how do I make her feel beautiful again?

I really wish I could transition and just live as a girl. I feel like that isnt possible, i am microdosing E right now but I worry that this is the limit of my transition. I was raised not to upset my parents and obey them I could never bear to hurt them by being myself. I am 26 and I have never mover out. I have been trying to work on this by secretly going to therapy but ive been at this since november 2021 I feel no closer to living as myself but the estrogen does provide some relief.
I think at best I can try to live a double life but that would never mean I can attempt a more full physical transition because my brain isnt built to upset my parents. This is soul rending. I dont want to life half way I feel like ive already been robbed of so much of my girlhood if not robbed of it completely.
Idk i kinda just want to ask my folx physician to up my dose and let my tits grow with reckless abandon but the primal fear of "what if my parents find out" always stops me. I suppose its cause I spent my whole life trying to hide this as much as I could its now reflexive but there is a very real aspect of I cant hurt my parents.

After nearly four years together and 8 months living together, my partner (32m) and I (33m) are in what feels like the process of mutually breaking up. We had a long conversation today acknowledging that neither of us has been happy for a while, that there is distance growing between us romantically, and that, foundationally, neither of us feels like we can be our complete and genuine self around each other. We both feel like we’re too far gone for therapy to fix it. It was a painful conversation, to say the least.
This person is still my best friend and my world and I still love him deeply. I don't even want to stop loving him, even though I’m sure that would make it easier. It almost makes it harder that there's nothing I can hate him for. Neither of us did anything wrong. It just...isn't right.
The thought of just saying "goodbye" forever to a man I spent years believing I would marry, who I fantasized about growing old with, makes me feel sick to my stomach. The thought of us becoming strangers makes my eyes well with tears. It feels impossible to fathom not having him in my life. Even though I know in my gut that we aren’t a ‘forever’ match, I feel like my heart and my brain are in battle. It feels unnatural to let go of the most important person in my life.
I've been through two major breakups before, but this is by far my longest and most meaningful relationship, it's the only time I've ever lived with my partner, and it's the first time I'm approaching a breakup in a mutual and respectful way. While I’m proud of us for being mature (so far), I have no idea how to navigate any of this. I want to do it right. We have created so many amazing memories together, and I don’t want those soured.
Over COVID and throughout our relationship, my network of close friends definitely narrowed. Most of my closest friends no longer even live in my city. I also struggle with feeling like my problems are burdensome, so I tend to isolate myself in the times that I most need support. My very best friend, who does live near me, is due to have her first child tomorrow (literally), so I quite literally would be a burden if I leaned much on her for support. I do have a therapist which will be helpful.
I'm so scared. I am an anxiously attached person and I’m triggered pretty viciously by abandonment. The last time I went through a breakup, I had a legit mental breakdown. It was a terrifying and traumatizing experience. I didn’t sleep for days and in hindsight I think I may have become slightly psychotic for a day or two. I have done a lot of work on myself since then, but I know the coming weeks will be filled with potential attachment triggers. How can I let myself be cut off from his life without feeling abandoned and unloved? How can I remain emotionally stable as I help the love of my life physically move out of my home and my life forever? How have you guys gotten through breakups like this?

Just made it through my first year without a prostate. I have a PSA and exam coming up in two weeks so there's some anxiety there despite undetectable values so far. I have another cancer so there's always that lurking in the background. My surgeon said that 90 per cent of his patients are dry after the first year but I seem to be in the unlucky 10 per cent despite a bladder physical therapy program. Also, erections seem to be gone for good. Hopefully, my upcoming labs and exam will be negative but it's been a rough and frustrating year and I can't help but wonder about the other options I had. I guess it's a success if I remain cancer free but the impotence and incontinence (2-3 pads a day) are big negatives. My local urologist said he's never seen a patient dry up after the first year and this is likely my status quo in terms of continence. I don't have that much to complain about compared to the issues other people here have (more advanced disease, lack of treatment options, metastatic disease, etc) but it's still a pain. I don't know what I would have done differently but one can't help but wonder if there was some way to have had a better outcome. It's a drag always carrying pads around and wondering where the nearest bathroom is.

Im 10 months postpartum with my second child and was diagnosed with stage 2 uterine prolapse. Has anyone else been in the same shoes and been able to heal their uterus prolapse by physical therapy? Google says it is possible but my urologist said I won't be able to fully heal it, maybe bring it back a grade but not fully healed. Feeling a little discouraged over here.

I'm 32F, about 135 lbs. I've been getting a dull soreness/pain in my coccyx for about two months know. The first time I noticed it was right after I had an intense workout with doing squats and lifting weights. It's been eight weeks now and although the soreness hasn't gotten worse, it also didn't get better. It's not an intense ache, and I only really feel it when I sit or sleep against it. I've been taking some painkillers my doctor gave me, tried lidocaine patches and am also going to physical therapy. Xray showed nothing is broken. I've tried massages but I seem to be more in pain afterwards so I stopped. Is this something concerning? I don't have any other symptoms. Is there something else I can try? Was thinking of maybe seeing a chiropractor too.

Hi, everyone. Not sure how to flair this post.
I deleted my last post because, I was really ashamed of it and said very stupid things. Coming off of an immensely stressful week, I should've thought about what I said and considered the merits of all the bullshit going through my head. I don't blame the mods for temp-banning me for it at all, though.
That said, I suppose now that I'm in a better mood and of a much clearer headspace, I can say a few words.
I still need therapy. It sucks to admit, but I must be brave and love myself enough to stop making excuses. It doesn't matter if "I've already been to therapy!!" because, it's clear that there's still demons in my head I need to defeat or at least contain. I created a list this weekend about what I need to address in therapy. Among them include my judgements of myself/others, my anxious attachment (and truly where that might originate. In my deleted post, and in my ruminations, I blame my sistemother, and while they might contribute to it, there could be many other sources and reasons for that not due to them such as bullying or abuse from peers. I want to make it very clear that I do love them and am trying my best to build a stronger bond with them), and my almost unhealthy amount of obsessing about sex. Overall my friends read my list and think those are great things to cover. Another one of my friends (a woman) suggested to me that she thinks I may have trust issues, too. I think I might want to take care of that as well. My stress management is also lacking right now. I probably have forgotten a lot of what I learned in a class in college, rather aptly named, "Stress Management".
Another thing is that I will finally exit inceldom in this way. I don't think "having sex" will magically fix me. Inceldom is a mindset. A mindset of insecurity and lies. And they capture and trap me in my dark moments, leading me to be desperate and doomer. I loathe this. I see it in my dating life that, unless my date is just that awful, I would accept being a boyfriend to any girl who says "yes". But that's a bad mindset. I will do what I can to be discerning, and have the strength to say, "She's actually not right for me!" and date someone better for me.
For some context. Right now I'm in a position where I like my current date very much. But, she's away from home a lot, and I worry that this will not make for a good relationship for me because I'd really rather see my girl once a week or more (I've not seen her in three weeks). I need to examine whether I'm just pursuing this because she's the first girl I've made out with and cuddled with and am pursuing her because she was the first to be physically affectionate with me in a time of my life where I was really down and doomer, or if I truly like her for her and what kind of relationship we'd form if we began one? My mindset used to be, "I have to make this work. I won't find someone more beautiful and fit for me." Now it's becoming, "I'm not sure if this IS working at all. Yes, she's beautiful and could be a fit personality wise, but there's other concerns I have. I think I'll be strong enough to not stay in an unhappy situation with her if it comes to that."
What I'm saying is that, if I have the opportunity to pass-up on a relationship because I'm confident enough that I can find something that's right for me, then why would I be "involuntarily celibate"? I love myself enough to love the potential of my relationships.
And I'm really not a bad guy. I have problems. Maybe many problems. But I'm well-educated, people get along with me and admire my knowledge about history, art, and gaming. People come to me for moral advice, and I have varied hobbies. I take care of my hygiene and appearance and have a great career set. Those are all things to be happy with myself. I did those things... and there's still more ways I want to improve.
As an aside, I also mentioned in my last post that I want to be "the best dad and husband ever". It was a promise I made to myself when I was a misbehaved teenager and treated girls at my high school very badly. A vague, sort of childish, promise. I still want to be a great dad some day and know I can get there. I'll trip and make mistakes, but that's okay.
That's all I got for today.
Also, I apologized to my parents for us arguing the other day. They accepted it and said that I should see a therapist and that they still will always love me.

HISSSS

Following the capture of Morbius[4] and the Lizard, the Beyond Corporation used genetic samples taken from both to create a giant vampire/lizard binary clone with a lizard-like body and the wings and fangs of a vampire bat. They subsequently locked the monster behind "Door Z" at their secret facility on Staten Island, earning it the moniker "Creature Z." It was realized when Ben Reilly and Peter Parker invaded the facility to shut down Beyond's super villain program

Strength

• Grabs Spider-Man by the throat and slams him onto the concrete floor cracking it ^{Amazing Spider-Man #92}
  
• Dented a metal door with its blows hitting it so hard Spider-Man could barley keep it shut ^{Amazing Spider-Man #92}
  
• After a car runs into it they flip it off if them ^{Amazing Spider-Man #92}
  
• Bites into Morbius ^{Amazing Spider-Man #92.BEY}
  

Durability

• Seems unbothered by several pistol shots to the chest ^{Amazing Spider-Man #92}
  
• Gets back up after a car slams into them so hard it shattered brick ^{Amazing Spider-Man #92}
  
• Take attacks from Colleen and Morbius ^{Amazing Spider-Man #92}
  

Other Abilities

Healing Factor

• Almost instantly grows both their arms back when Colleen Wing sliced them off ^{Amazing Spider-Man #92}
  
• Despite Spider-Man slamming a door on its fingers so hard they were cut off, by the time he was next seen they were back ^{Amazing Spider-Man #92}
  

Other

• Although they’re never used they have two large bay wings protruding from their back ^{Amazing Spider-Man #91}
  
• Bites into Morbius’s abdomen and drinks his blood however this proves to be it’s undoing as Connors and Morbius formulas were balanced within them, and that balance was ruined by drinking more of Morbius's blood this overstimulated the their regeneration abilities until they exploded ^{Amazing Spider-Man #92.BEY}
  

I’ve never hated anyone before. Not my parents and grandparents who abused me, the partners that cheated on me (or the girls they cheated with), or even the terrible friends who fat-shamed me behind my back but were super nice to my face.
But the level of animosity I (29F) feel towards my sister-in-law (28F) is something I have never experienced before.
I grew up in poverty. I spent time on the streets as a teenager because I was fat, goth, and queer, and my parents weren’t supportive or loving in the slightest. And while I can admit that my in-laws are not exactly the most emotionally available or affectionate people, I have never once seen them fail to put their daughter’s needs above everyone else’s — including their son’s (30M) needs, who I am married to.
But if you were to ask her about her parents, everything she would have to say would be about how abusive and cold they were. Ask my husband, however, and he would say, “Oh they were. Just not to her.” My in-laws started going to therapy a few years ago and openly admitted to everything they put my husband through, right down to favoring his sister over him. It was an emotional breakthrough in their relationships and his bond with them has only grown stronger since then.
My sister-in-law sees this as them favoring him (and by extension, me) over her.
My in-laws are very wealthy people, and when my husband and I got married a few years ago, we were living with them due to roommates who would not comply with COVID restrictions, and at the time I was caretaking for my father with cancer. We were afraid to put off our ceremony any longer because of my father’s health and had a very small, backyard wedding in order to make sure he could be there.
Because we couldn’t have the wedding we always wanted, my in-laws decided that they wanted to buy us a house as a wedding gift. I didn’t want that because I didn’t want to feel like we owed them, but they said as long as we were open to letting my sister-in-law live in our basement, as she was leaving a toxic relationship at the time, they wouldn’t hold it over our heads. We agreed.
We never should have.
From the minute she moved in with us, she controlled everything. If she thought we would paint the walls a color she didn’t like, she would call her parents and complain. We wanted to get a second dog, and since she already had more than 10 pets and was told not to bring more into the home, she screamed that it wasn’t fair and threatened to harm herself over it. When we were trying to conceive, she said it was emotionally triggering for her because she believes she will never bare children of her own, so we reluctantly decided to stop trying.
Then she moved her new boyfriend (30M) into our house without asking. And we had never even met him.
He told us he had kids, but his ex fled the state with them and that he would be unlikely likely to bring them around. We encouraged him to pursue custody, while my sister-in-law would actively tell him, “You’ll probably never see them again anyway.” She’s an inherently pessimistic person in that way. It made me angry. Still, he stayed. And then he proposed. And then they got married.
And no, they didn’t move out. In fact, she started pressuring us to leave. She knew we wanted to move to a larger city, but I have two younger disabled siblings that I help my older sister care for, not to mentioned three nieces that I love as my own. When my nieces would come over to stay a weekend with me, my sister-in-law would complain and whine that she felt trapped downstairs because being around the kids was too “triggering” for her and her husband (who never complained to us about them being here). When she accused them of being so loud that it “nearly killed one of her rabbits” (even though they were on two separate ends of the house and her husband said they didn’t actually hear much of anything), I finally hit my limit when my father-in-law said, “It’s for the best if you just don’t bring the girls over there for the night again.”
And then, just a couple weeks ago, they received full custody of his kids and she has rubbed it in my face non-stop since they got here.
“I can’t believe I get to be a mom. It’s so amazing.”
But the second the kids go to bed for the night, she comes to my husband complains that they are too energetic and out of control. She complains that her husband is spoiling them too much and is a lazy father. He works full time and is on-call during the weekends. She doesn’t do anything at all for work, but mothering and chores are apparently “totally breaking her down”.
This woman knows that I am struggling with my reproductive health because I am chronically ill, and that my husband and I have been wanting to start our family for fucking years. And then a family just falls into her lap and not only does she have the audacity to complain about it, she even had the nerve to say to my face on Mother’s Day, “I’m just not optimistic about it. If I can’t have kids of my own physically I don’t see how you ever can.”
She is the most manipulative, entitled, and selfish person that I have ever met. She never thinks of anyone besides herself, and she never does a single thing unless it also benefits her.
And now, on top of everything else, we have to leave our house because the state won’t let them keep the kids if they don’t have them “in the proper space”, and having two separate families sharing a four bedroom, two bathroom house isn’t the “proper” space. And according to my in-laws, well, “Since you guys don’t have kids yet, they kind of need that house more than you do.”
My husband is insisting that we use this time to move to a new city, like we’ve wanted, but we have nothing financially prepared and we only have weeks before we have to be out. And that means getting no time to say goodbye to my family, not even my nieces, before we go.
I blame my sister-in-law for this. For all of this. I lost out on a puppy because of her, on time with my family because of her, and on committing to fertility treatments because of her. She has made my life a living fucking Hell, and I don’t want anything to do with her ever again.
Ever. Period.
TL;DR: My sister-in-law moved in with my husband and I a few years ago, and all she has done is fight to manipulate and control everything that happens in my house and in my life. Her actions have directly affected everything from my husband and I not getting a second dog, to whether or not we have kids of our own, and now I have to move away from my family because she is taking ownership of my house. I feel like she’s tried to ruined my life and I don’t ever want to see her face or hear her voice again once we move out.

I’m lost and even more desperate for a life of normalcy and “bliss.” Any advice or reassurance is welcome and appreciated.
I (26F) took the big step in seeking help for my debilitating mental health and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I also got blood work done which resulted in extreme vitamin D deficiency. My doctor prescribed me 50mg of Sertralin Bluefish and 4000 units of vitamin D daily for 6 weeks. She wants me to pair the meds with consistent therapy and intends to monitor me for the first few months in case I need a higher dosage or a different cocktail. Both my doctor and mother agree that it’s in my best interest to try the meds due to my history and symptoms because it really might be a chemical imbalance that can’t be fixed with just exercise, healthy diet and sunshine.
However, I can’t help but fear the unknown and potential side effects (especially the long term and even fatal ones) and I wonder if starting off on psychiatric drugs before exploring other options like micro-dosing 🍄, sea moss, vitamins and other natural/holistic remedies, is the best thing for me.
I admit that this anxiety is mostly induced by the research I’ve done and a bit from reading other posts in this sub because it seems as though more people experience negative outcomes than positive ones; and most of the positive reviews are along the lines of “antidepressants saved my life, but I’m numb, have no libido, gained 50lbs, lost my personality, etc.” I also understand that a lot of trial and error is to be done in this journey until you find what works best for you, it just seems so mentally, emotionally and physically taxing.
My concerns mostly revolve around the topics of sexual disfunction (high libido and regular orgasms are important to me), heightened suicidal thoughts/intentions, excessive weight gain (I already struggle with low metabolism and self esteem), emotional numbness/inability to cry, insomnia, alcohol intake and other physical side effects like headaches because I suffer from chronic migraines that are easily triggered and paralyzing.
I so desperately want a better quality of life. I want to reach my full potential, have the desire and motivation to do the things I love and have the energy to enjoy my youth. I want to live for myself again and not just for the sake of sparing my loved ones the heartbreak. I’m willing to give the meds a fair shot if it means I get to have these things, I’m just curious if any of you have had better experiences with other options or tried other remedies before resulting to drugs. And if you’ve had a good experience with ADs, PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORY.
My history/symptoms for context: I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and it only gets worse with age. Suicidal thoughts began as a preteen and worsened throughout teen and adulthood. From previous therapy sessions, it is believed that most of those depressive years of adolescence was due to PTSD from childhood trauma. I can’t remember the last time I felt truly joyful, excited or passionate; it’s like I’m on autopilot just coasting and trying to get through every day. I try to book trips and such to give myself something to look forward to but even then I procrastinate packing and would rather chill in the hotel all day. I have little to no sense of time and my memory loss has increased.
I have zero motivation or desire for anything and this has caused me to lose a really good job, drop out of college twice and lose all ambition to work towards anything. My anxiety affects my ability to properly sleep and rest. I’ve lost romantic interest, most days I can’t get out of bed, I don’t always have the energy to maintain my hygiene or complete chores, I either binge eat or don’t eat at all…it’s been at least 7 years since I’ve engaged with any of my hobbies and it feels so exhausting to simply exist. I feel like I’ve lost basic function and it takes 10x the energy and effort to do simple tasks and even then, I’m usually unable to complete them. It’s like I’m a prisoner in my own body. There’s so much more but ultimately, I’m miserable. It also doesn’t help that I live in a country that causes severe seasonal depression from long, dark winters; I’m talking only 3 hours of sunshine and shitty weather 3/4 of the time.
I no longer trust myself which is why I’m open to ADs and as bad as I wan’t to give up, my loved ones and I deserve a fair chance at working towards a cure.

Saturday, March 4, 2023. 6:45PM.
In the world of #ScreenwritingTwitter, a buddy of mine (@TSchrack) quote tweeted a thread from Roadmap's new marketing coordinator for a great opportunity for BIPOC male screenwriter to get their name and work in front of execs. As a BIPOC male screenwriter, I just had to pounce! It was his first day on the job – wished him congratulations, showed him my credentials, and he liked it.
Sunday, March 5, 2023. 8:05PM.
This man SLIDES into my DMs, asking ME for MY EMAIL ADDRESS!
To reiterate my initial reaction: "🧠🤯". Without hesitation, I chased it with an "😂 OK!" He asks if I used Roadmap's services or pitched to the website. Yes and no; I spoke with James Moorer (director of outreach at Roadmap).
Thursday, March 16, 2023. 9:49AM.
I get the email. He "appreciates my willingness to put my work there, values it more than anything, and wants to honor his investment in my work!" He left a Calendly link to below to schedule a 20 MINUTE MEETING so we can discuss my project, which could open to door from me being a writer to me being a writer signed to representation.
But then fate struck.
Mid March–April 2023.
My grandma went into the hospital for a hip replacement. She made it out, but needed a full month's recovery and physical therapy, which left me no time to myself to schedule a meeting, query reps or develop any projects. When it was time for her to go back to work, it happened.
Tuesday, May 2, 2023. 12:01AM.
The fifth Writers' Strike in nearly 15 years. I can still query reps, but I can't pitch to them, even if I'm not in the WGA. I understand why this strike needed to happen and I don't wanna sound selfish, but I need to look out for myself and get my priorities straight to jumpstart my career, and as long as this strike wages on (see 2007–08 strike), my chances of seeing my pilot on TV screens this year will be slim to none.
Long story short, I really really REALLY want to meet with the coordinator, but how do I stop myself from pitching my story and becoming a scab? Could use some advice...

I just want to add trigger warnings: abuse, sleeping pill use, possible reactive abuse?, self harm/suicide ideation
Hello everyone! I am just really struggling with determining if I was the narcissist in a previous relationship that’s weighing heavy on me. I would like to state that before this relationship, I was in an all over abusive relationship (That was actually my 1st serious relationship, happened in high school) that was very traumatic. Within and after that relationship, that ex was telling me that no one would love me or love me like he does, would physically hurt me as he would tell me that ‘he is not hurting me, I am hurting myself’, blame me for everything in the relationship, his mom would make excuses for him even as she heard him hurting me.. It was a LOT. And I guess that was also why I was so susceptible to my next relationship which is the one I am inquiring about.
So, that relationship lasted 3 years.. I went to therapy.. A year and maybe a half later, I met another guy (which is the one I am more confused on and questioning myself the most..) My 1st bf was known as not a good guy so it was easier for me to come to terms with that it was not me? But this one… Everyone LOVES him… We met through a friend of mine at a theme park.. I guess for a good month he was trying to get my number from her (she was a good friend of mine at the time, she was dating one of his good friends, they knew each other. She took us to where he was). I got a text from him saying “Hey beautiful, can you guess who this is?” and it all started from there..
He had previously gotten out of a 4 year relationship, 2 months before we met (Stupid me; HOWEVER, i did not know how short of a time span it truly was until I went through his phone and laptop), but he made it seem like she was just cheating on him and not doing right by him majorly, he was over it, and it was done. I didn’t know his part until the 4th year when I went through his laptop and saw that he would call her names, he would be trying to be sexual with her friend which is the same girl who told him that he couldn’t cheat on me with anyone besides her and he agreed (Same girl that would be mentioned in a bit), and so on.
We ended up going to the same college, and hanging out a lot; However, even from month one he was trying to get with me and saying that he “had” to be with me because I was sweet, beautiful, xyz but he didn’t have time for that at the moment due to him just getting out of the relationship (which I was ok with tbh. But when mentioning that I don’t think I wanted to date he would be like why?… (As well as I think this is what got me too because he was not prioritizing a relationship so it did not seem like he would be using me). He would call me while he was at work a lot, and he even showed up to my house once randomly because I was trying to avoid hanging out with him and me and my friend had to lie and say I wasn’t there. He would explain a lot of how we would make sense together in a sense and why I should not be opposed to dating him..
Within the 4th month, he confessed that he loved me and hoped that I felt the same… In my gut I felt that it did not feel right… But everyone was saying that he liked me, everyone loved him, and he seemed like a good guy and totally opposite of my 1st ex… So I thought, maybe this is love and maybe I do love him… One night I stupidly explained what I been through before meeting him (my previous relationship and friendships) and how I just did not want to go through that again… He said he would never put me through anything like that, will treat me how I deserve like the princess I am, and how laid back he was (but I did not think laid back would mean flirting with other women in front of me or in general, etc which he would mention at a later time when bringing things up to him “Well I told you I was laid back”).. By this time I was lowkey babe, his princess, etc… His friends telling me that he really liked me, and I made him happy… That he talked about me a lot.. I thought maybe this was it…
Around month 8, he asked me out… Immediately a shift began… Right after he asked me out he stated “You’re lucky because there was someone else I was supposed to date”… I instantly knew that something was wrong… But at the same time… A thought that ran through my head was my 1st ex telling me how no one would ever love me like him and other things… and tbh I think I just went with it and accepted fate Ig. I got in his car and we drove off… But now that I even look back, he would question me sexually compared to other women.. call himself the “booty king”.. and talk about how he was sad that he lost his old phone containing photos of all the girls’ pics he had while we were talking… so.. Yeah… Ig that wasn’t even the 1st shift.. I guess I was just used to that type of treatment now that I think about it..
To add more information before getting to the main portion, before so much occurred, I did not mind him hanging out even alone with girls.. He made me feel safe and I trusted him and even told him that. To the point where he told me that he was going to Disney with the girl mentioned above and that she liked him, but I need to not worry because he wasn’t going to do anything and liked me and other stuff. This was after he told me he thinks we shouldn’t be talking to other people (so this occurred a little before he asked me out). However, during this time, if he saw me with a guy he seemed to get jealous. For example, I was saving the table, and the janitor who looked like a guy my age came over, we nodded, and he just kept working. He came back as the janitor moved and asked me if he was flirting with me and thought that I was lying about him not flirting with me. Another time, I went to the movie theatre with my friend and he brought it up a few times and was asking about it and claiming it was a date. However, he would keep stating that he was not the jealous type and his friends would too..
But anyways after we started dating, he immediately started ignoring me as I was talking and would always be on his phone. One such event was when we were headed somewhere with his friends… Once they got out of the car, and I began talking to him, he immediately got on his phone and was kind of ignoring me but giving ‘mhms’, ‘ohs’, and other sounds like that.. Eventually I went quiet.. When his girl friend 1st got back into the car, he immediately put his phone down and started conversating with her… I was hurt.. which led to him doing some actions and admitting that he did them because I was sad and wouldn’t tell him why and shrugged. He would be on his phone looking at girls.. Even when my parents were going through a divorce, and I was venting to him over skype.. He was just ignoring me.. and I could see through his glasses that he was just browsing on tumblr which already made me more sad and alone, then I saw him staring at and sharing a picture of a girl showing her butt, and I got upset and he got upset with me for being upset.. On our one year anniversary even, I was talking to him, and he was ignoring me.. But I caught him looking at a picture with girls showing their butts and just became quiet and upset.. He’d already called me insecure and such by that point..
Another incident which I’m sure sounds stupid and may just be really stupid.. Was 2 months after we dated.. I told him all that I wanted for my birthday was to take him to HHN for his first time.. He said he didn’t have any plans to go with anyone else and pinky promised me.. I would say maybe a couple of weeks later he told me he was going with one of his girl friends that worked there on that night, and I immediately called him.. He invited me to go, but I couldn’t because I was busy, and I asked if he could wait, and he brought up that he couldn’t just say no because he already told her yes. I brought up the pinky promises, and stupidly begged him if he could just wait.. He said he couldn’t and he had to go.. Later he posted on snapchat about how much fun he was having and how cool and crazy it was.. Later told me he just went with her because she could get him in for free.. which I would have paid if needed, but I didn’t know.. He would manipulate me into letting him do whatever because his ex did (For example, going to stay on the beach with his girl best friend, her mom, and her sister, but by this point he already kind of made it clear that he did not care about me, so I was uncomfortable with it, but he kept pushing until I said yes and would guilt trip me for being unsure).
During this 1st year, he already called me a whore for having guy friends, crazy, insecure because of above things etc. One incident we went to the club with one of his guy friends, I didn’t know the plan was to find girls for him (his guy friend) to get.. So while I was trying to dance and interact with them, I noticed he was just looking around and pointing out girls and kind of didn’t acknowledge me a lot of the night.. Which did make me sad.. I became standoffish, and that led to an argument and him hitting the steering wheel yelling at me and asking what the fuck is my problem with girls.. Which I remained silent after trying to explain.. Another incident is when at some point in the first couple of months I told him I would have sex with him.. We ended up at a resort because I have timeshares.. However, I got extremely sick to the point I couldn’t breathe and was worried. I did say I would have to pass on sex at the moment because I really could not breathe and didn’t feel well. He was more upset that I didn’t give him sex and said how I lied.. Which I really didn’t mean to.. and I did feel really bad about.
He would say how he didn’t care about how I felt about something, would go do that said thing, and then would come back and apologize after talking to one of his girl friends about it, and how she made him realize it wasn’t cool. He would be really mean and say mean things.. he would start denying his actions and words so I started keeping screenshots to make sure that what I had remembered was accurate.. Adults would tell me that I better take good care of him while this was happening and he would look at me and smile and do like a jerking movement with his head like "yeah you better" if that makes sense..
I noticed after a while, I couldn’t control my emotions… I started becoming more and more emotionally reactive. I became increasingly jealous and trying everything to get him to care.. I also begin to try to find ways to get him to understand how he was hurting me and kept thinking of ways to get him to stop.. When I would react he told me that he showed his friends or told them what I did and their reactions and comments.. He told them I was crazy.. After a while I asked him to stop talking about our relationship to his friends because I noticed he wouldn’t tell them why I was reacting the way I was which also leads me to question if it was me.. I began trying to try to control situations so I wouldn’t get any more hurt. I started becoming passive aggressive and started saying mean things.. I threw my toothbrush at the bathroom door once.. I started taking sleeping pills because I got anxiety when he would text me that he was going out. I started taking the pills as well because I couldn’t heal and move on from the things that had happened as fast as he would’ve liked.. I would try to leave but he would say what I wanted to hear of course.. But if I tried to talk to him about the things, he would hardly say anything or just be like “you’re right, I’m trash”, change the subject, or tell me he would break up with me if I brought it up again.. Eventually he would tell me how I needed help and kiss me on the forehead.. At one point, I asked him if we break up, would he consider trying to work on things in the future after we both do growing, and he responded by shaking his head and telling me only if I had changed… I always made him not want to do things or not want to go to things.. He was more cool than me and had more friends than me he would say or imply at times and even brought it up because I got more likes on my insta posts.. One day I would be wifey and he would be so in love with me and not want any other girls.. and the next day I should understand if he wanted to breakup so he can go be with other girls.. His family said in front of me that he could just go get another girlfriend.. and he would shrug his shoulders and repeat that to me..
Major heartbreak events would happen after I helped him in someway, and he would feel a type of way that I wouldn’t want to help him or do things.. Like I helped get him jobs, get back in school, be on time for work, took care of him when he almost died (which led to a major event I will talk about in a few) he would tell me or show me that he didn’t care about me and I couldn’t count on him to be there for me either.. Like when I tried to tell him that I am becoming more severely depressed due to stuff, he was just like “I care less and less” because I brought up depression due to different things.. Which I know.. Stupid for staying.. However.. He would be “hurt” that I didn’t believe that he loved and cared for me.. That the trust I had was diminishing.. He would ask me why I thought he was lying to me and tell me that there were and are no other girls.. Everything led up to the 4th year..
After being with him in the hospital after he could’ve died.. I was with him and making sure he was ok afterwards.. Something was going to happen with a girl I didn’t feel comfortable with him being alone with and he told me.. surprise.. that he didn’t care and had to go.. Told me she said I was pretty.. I asked him if I could go through his phone a couple of days later, I guess I just needed that final push.. I found so much, from him talking to other women about our relationship but being more concerned about how we were having less and less sex, him cheating and flirting, him texting his friend about how he thought him and his ex were getting back together, etc. And I just lost it.. I woke him up shaking him asking why me.. just why… and before I knew it I slapped him.. It was like slow motion, I tried to stop myself but I couldn’t.. I immediately felt guilt.. and that was the first time I ever hit someone.. I know it’s not ok.. but that started an altercation and he dug his nails into me and so on.. I went to the bathroom bleeding.. and the next day.. He asked what happened to me and the marks.. I told him I just had a depressive episode.. and he told me that I shouldn’t hurt myself like that.. Like he didn’t remember anything.. It was like me and him switched places.. He began being afraid to communicate with me.. and to this day.. It’s been almost 3 years.. I feel extremely guilty and re-enact that night but begging myself to stop.. to just leave.. I still feel angry at myself.. His close friends were like “he really tried.. he really loved you.. ah I don’t think he’s like that”.. and sometimes it makes me doubt my experience..
At the end of the relationship is something I can’t forget.. He smirked and told me that he knew he’d be ok.. and that he already moved on and accepted everything.. and that has been something hard on me too.. I removed him from a lot but stupidly texted him a month or so later apologizing..
After the relationship when I would hear or see him or his name, I would have little panic attacks.. everything would go blurry and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.. Therapy isn’t helping.. I feel like I can’t move on and sometimes I idealize or day dream about suicide heavily..
I keep trying to stop myself from looking at his postings about loyalty.. being faithful.. giving everything to the girl who is always down for him.. not lying.. how his friends post how amazing he is and his quotes about cheating and such.. but it’s like a bad addiction I just can’t seem to break.. I keep asking myself was it me.. and if I’m just the narcissist.. He did take the blame and apologize near the end of the relationship and then once I reached out and apologized for my actions after the relationship.. But I still am so confused..
I feel consumed by rage.. envy.. Jealousy.. I see him being blessed with everything and thanking God and Jesus which diminished my faith.. If it wasn’t me, then how come he is getting so many blessings and get to be so happy.. I keep saying how it’s not fair.. I feel guilt.. I feel shame.. I don’t trust myself.. I can’t tell who I truly am after lashing out.. I feel like I want to give up.. Like it’s never going to end.. I keep seeing things about narcissistic abuse, and then I get scared because what if it was me….. Then I feel guilty for not wanting to watch any more things on narcissism or abuse for a while.. I keep praying, begging for it all to go away.. I have resorted to tarot and spells.. Faking it til I make it.. Nothing.. and then I get frustrated.. I keep reliving and trying to play things out differently if that makes sense.. I feel so alone, and I self-isolate so much.. It’s almost 3 years.. I am just confused.. and I am sorry for this being so long and possibly confusing and all over the place..