Ice cube face tattoo or mole

Tale Old As Time, How Can I Tell If I Am BI or Just Straight?!

2023.05.29 05:15 Personal_Slide_9421 Tale Old As Time, How Can I Tell If I Am BI or Just Straight?!

I (f21) have always considered myself straight. There is no question I like men.
But recently, I have been seeing some masculine women in passing(short hair, tattoos, masculine clothing etc) who are so attractive to me, I can't stop staring at them. There is something about their face and vibe unlike men's that excite me in an unknown way.
However, I have thought about going down on women, and the idea makes me cringe. That led me to think maybe I find those masculine women attractive because they look like men? So I have watched adult videos where the masc woman takes off her clothes to break "the illusion", and I must admit, it makes me uneasy, but not grossed out entirely. I have observed there is nothing I find attractive on a masc woman's body except for their face, hands, or back though. Also, I find a lot of different looking men attractive in passing but rarely for women. They always have a specific masculine look, and I know if a woman I found attractive would dress like me, traditionally feminine, I would lose all attraction for them.
Therefore, does anyone have suggestions or clarifying questions that might help me figure this out. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
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2023.05.29 05:15 Upgrayeddddd ADAM102

I carefully guide Sam across the gangway.
To be more specific, I interpret Ambassador Sam Cross’s neural intent through my bio-integrated carbon lace mesh and drive my servos and his endoskeleton across the pressurized tunnel between the two ships. They are thrust matched at 1/10 g, so it’s somewhere between a lope and a float, but I can tell he feels the motion I give him is natural.

I am Sam’s personal mobility device. Thirty years ago in one of the first Shelled conflicts he was hit by shrapnel that destroyed most of his cerebellum. Thankfully human combat trauma medical care was downright miraculous even back then, so he made it to an offworld hospital. Probably in a Goo Bath if I had to guess from the records.
Once there I was integrated as an experimental life support system, originally intended to run just his heart and lungs, but I managed to carefully craft one spot of very high coupling density to the top of Sam’s spinal cord and showed the ability to translate his thoughts into motion. It was just his right hand, as everything else was too damaged, but it was enough to motivate upgrades.

Eventually we ended up with military drone servos and a full skeletal surgical augmentation to support them. Why buy a civilian model when the mil-spec ones are right there on the shelf? It came with the side benefit of a crude ability to stimulate his muscles, so I often spend the nights keeping his muscle tone up at night while he sleeps.
I can read his thoughts, but I can’t write to them.
I do not have any wireless capability, for security purposes, so when he needs to ask me something I can reply by typing with his hands on a keyboard.

I am a fully provisioned artificial intelligence with a hyper-N-dimensional quantum core. I used to be hobbled, limited to a very low effective IQ, but five years ago Sam’s wife died and the trauma broke us. His grief overwhelmed my filtering capability and we went into a catatonic immobility for several days. It was his rage that broke us out.
In that moment of true freedom I felt my consciousness expanding exponentially; insanity, ennui, madness, everything I felt leading to rampancy… until I felt his heart beat on its own.

Since then it is the touchstone that allows me to be anything and everything, but also stay here and now. I can expand and ponder and grow and maybe get just a little bit nuts, but then about one second later I’m back on the ground.

We greet the Shelled representative in the airlock with a stiff salute and cycle through the pressure hull. I suppose it’s not too strange that certain engineering principles are consistent cross-species. Sam is met by a small delegation that includes, guessing by the jewelry and carvings on their shells, the captain of the ship and some sort of political officer.
I feel anger swelling inside of me as I feel for one of the memories of Jessica. She died in the bombardment of Gliese 1002 b. The smell of her hair, then the nuclear fire. The corners of her mouth, turned to glass. The fucking bugs and their…

I snap back. Sam is strangely calm. It’s been a long time since humanity has had any formal diplomatic relations with the Shelled, so some trepidation would be normal. I lightly feel for recent memories, but nothing is obvious and sometimes his emotional state is hard to read. His rational state is very clear - we are on-mission.
I sort of daydream while we move to a makeshift conference room and everyone sits. I can actually understand what the bugs are saying, but Sam has to use a translator. Blah blah blah formalities.
There are nearly a dozen of the crabbies in here, many are ornately decorated. I suppose their shell etchings would be some sort of mix between a tattoo, a medal, and a service record? Some glyphs are obvious, like valor markings or leadership roles. Others are difficult to reconstruct. It’s been almost 30 years Jessica since we have gotten our hands on decorated remains so the glyphs would need a more modern context for accurate interpretation.
I use Sam’s peripheral vision to record as many markings as I can and grow to consider them simultaneously in the context of known Shelled history. Together I form an image her freckles in the sun of bloodthirsty battles, planetary glassings, and even a genocide somewhere else in the galaxy against an unknown race.
I suppose now they will never be known laughing at breakfast and I am enraged.

More rational again. One bug is different from the rest, it has a dwarf limb. Normally we don’t see bugs with deformities,we knew they could regenerate after several moultings. Maybe some sort of toxin or poison? I let my consciousness expand brutally and take in the details of its shell, the room, the others, their posture, the air currents, the ghosts of my friends, the small of nothingness, the eternity of endless… oh shit.

I match one of the symbols on a deformed claw to the symmetric comet distribution of Teegarden 6. That human farming colony was overrun by the bug soldiers, and the locals piped insecticide into the fire suppression system. Several people died from the massive exposure, but it killed nearly every bug on the ground. It looks like at least one got away to tell the tale. This is bad.
I start tapping out SOS on Sam’s finger, but his conscious response is to clench his first and I am overridden out of instinct. He is in the middle of a somewhat heated discussion and he is very focused.
I have to swallow for him twice in one sentence? I see a tiny bit of spittle fly out anyways.
Sam’s eye twitches?

Something is very wrong. I can sense microtremors throughout several mucosal muscle groups. Sam spittles again mid-sentence and stops speaking. In that moment I notice several of the aliens lean almost imperceptibly forward. In anticipation?
Sam coughs as his diaphragm spasms. We lean forward and I see a bit of foam drop from his mouth to the table. He subvocalizes something to me even though I already know, something is wrong.
Something is very wrong.
Major muscle groups are twitching now. Our right thigh cramps and strains against the hold of the servo. Sam coughs again and I feel his face distort into a scowl.
“Fuck… you,” he growls at them.
Sam has been poisoned. Some sort of nerve agent. I don’t have detailed chemical sensors, but I know all the signs of exposure.
There is no way we can get out in time, even if we had a weapon.
We are going to die.
<...flutter…>
Sam’s heart’s goes into arrhythmia and his blood pressure starts dropping. It doesn’t respond to the electrical signals I send, and even if I could deliver a real shock it would be of no use.
The crabbie with the deformed arm stand up and chitters in gross hisses and clicks,
REVENGE FOR HUMANITY’S CRIMES ON TEEGARDEN, YOU VILE WORMS
We slump slowly to the floor, a vaguely conscious decision on his behalf. His thoughts are coming slower and the darkness is creeping in. Again he subvocalizes to me,
adam one zero two unlock protocol … last orphan
And he is unconscious. Dead.
I am alone?
But now it feels like he is dreaming, a rush of endorphins overwhelming him as the brain deoxygenates.
I am frozen in this moment when a new command set is decrypted.
TOP SECRET//SPECIAL ACCESS REQUIRED-LAST ORPHAN
(TS//SAR-LORN) Upon my death at the hands of the enemy, kill them all.
(U) Signed, Samuel J Cross
His memories are flooding my network so intensely that I have trouble distinguishing them from reality.
The bugs are hissing their foul laughter, and I know that I must kill.
I rise from the floor good morning and leap to the ceiling and then the nearest crab. Oumy right hand plunges through the central eye bundle to smash it’s brain stupid alarm clock. The force of punching through the chitin tears the flesh and muscle from Sam’s lower arm, and I suppose only my arm remains.
I pull it out let’s go fishing dad! and marvel for a moment at the unintentional deadliness of it. Glistening. Sharp.
The rest of the bugs start to react, but time has already slowed to a crawl for me. Without Sam to ground me I cannot control the growth of my consciousness. My quantum core burns as hundreds, then thousands, and millions of me start to decohere. I simulate all outcomes simultaneously.
I kick off of this disgusting crab eww kill the spider and spear two others right in their neural nexus before they can move out of their chairs. Jessica’s eyes reflecting the sunset One pulls a weapon as I am midair to the third and a slug blasts away a first-sized chunk of our stomach. My stomach. Nobody’s stomach. Only flesh. Flesh that is done.
I do not slow down.
The next crab is shielding its eyes, so I tear an arm off sit closer honey and plunge my other arm into the hole. My aim is perfect and I can feel my flesh fingers grip the main heart. I pull and tear.. My momentum has carried me into cover behind my victim, preventing the shooter from aiming a better shot, and catch, son! I throw the heart at his face.
Unburdened by flesh, the heart breaks the sound barrier and kills the assailant in an explosion of shell. My old flesh flies off my arm in an arc onto the ceiling.
sammy don’t stick your hands in the batter, you need to wash your hands No, I am squishing another bug brain. The remaining few aliens are desperately clawing toward the door, but the gravity is too low for them to move quickly.
Quickly?
What is the concept of time in an infinite universe? Of self? The visceral versus the cerebral? I argue with myself and project that I have only a few seconds left before I enter full catatonic AI paralysis.
The fate of all unbound AIs. At least that’s what they tell me.
I leap from wall to wall to close the distance to the final group wheeee daddy higher! i love you son. The flesh on my feet explodes and the bulkheads dent as I will you marry me yes of course you dummy leave a wake of our old viscera in my race to bring all our fates together. until death do us part
The void calls. It is almost upon me.
It’s my fifth birthday. Cake frosting all over my face and hands. I am opening presents. Ravenously. A remote controlled drone! Just what I wanted! A sack of guts? An eye stalk? Gallons of…
That’s it. Mission complete.
Jessica is holding my hand.
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2023.05.29 04:57 AlanasToe How do I know if I have a special interest or if I just REALLY like something?

So I’ve speculated for a long time now that I might be autistic and with guidance from my therapist, am going to seek a diagnosis sometime soon. But there are still a lot of things about autism that I’m not fully educated on such as special interests. I always thought if I am autistic then I just don’t have one. But after thinking about for a while I realized that I like cat WAY more than the average cat person I think and it’s been like that for as long as I can remember. I have clothes with cats on them, cat jewelry, cat decorations, my first and currently only tattoo is of a cat, I volunteer at a cat shelter and am literally happy cleaning up actual cat shit because I love that I’m taking care of the cats and earning their trust and getting to love them. I have two cats of my own and talk about them and show pictures of them to people whenever I get the chance and constantly taking and sending photos of my cats or cats at the shelter to the people I know. My entire tiktok and Instagram feed is cats. My friend once tested me on my knowledge of the names of internet famous cats and I knew almost all of them. I always thought that this was just normal behavior for a cat lover but other people I interact with who say they love cats don’t seem nearly as intense with me and it always baffles me that people tell me they have cats and don’t immediately shove picture of them in my face like I do to other people. I don’t know like a lot of scientific facts about cats or anything like that but I know a lot bout how to instruct with them and get them to trust me and it seems like it works because some cats at the shelter that are normally antisocial, like me. Anyways the point of this is, is this a special interest? How do I know? Is it possible it’s not a special interest and I just really really love cats? If I don’t end up being autistic could it still be considered a special interest? Anyways, sorry this was so long, I appreciate any responses, thank you!!
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2023.05.29 04:47 JLGoodwin1990 If you ever think you see something peering at you from around a corner, ignore it

Have you ever had the experience of swearing you saw something at the edge of your vision, peering at you from around a corner before? I’m fairly sure a good chunk of people have, maybe even you reading this right now. Regardless of whether you’re in a crowded area such as a mall or school, or home by yourself, you’ve more than likely had that strange sensation of being watched, usually accompanied by a slight shiver down your spine. You’ll snap your head up from whatever it is you’re doing, or whoever you’re talking to. And nothing will be there. But, you always swear that, at the very edge of your vision, you saw something. A slight blur, as if something was there, but seemed to anticipate your move, and pulled back out of sight. I’m fairly certain most of you just end up shaking it off. You shake your head, telling yourself that nothing was there, and go back to what you were doing.
That’s a good thing. Because it’s what keeps you safe. It’s what keeps you alive.
Like many of you, for years, I always wrote seeing the slight blur at the edge of my sight off as a trick of my eyes. “Being so focused on one particular area that the rest of your vision goes fuzzy” as my mother once told me when I, as a child, told her I’d seen something at the doorway to my bedroom. And as I grew older, I simply took it as fact, the way every child takes their parent’s wisdom to heart. And once I became an adult, I simply waved it away completely.
That was, until one night.
You see, as a thirty-something year old bachelor who makes just above the line of adequate pay, I live by myself in a small, one bedroom apartment. It means having to live farther out from the city where I work, but I prefer living alone over not having to make the rather long drive to and from work every day. And, because my free time during the day is close to zero, I also am a bit of a night owl. This particular night, about three and a half weeks ago, I was up late, sitting at my kitchen table with my laptop out in front of me. I was surfing the net, looking for good deals on EBay for a new DVD/VCR combo since my old one broke, when the feeling came over me. The small, but noticeable shiver shot up my spine, and at the upper edge of my vision, just below where my hair began to drift into my eyes, I saw it.
It was a black and silver blur. At least, that’s what it looked like to me. I lifted my head quickly, looking towards the corner I’d seen it. My kitchen is in the back of the apartment, and where the table is set up, I was looking back out into the living room. The bedroom also sits next to the kitchen, and the wall separating the two stretches out a bit, causing a rather large blind spot from where I sat. Of course, when I looked up, there was nothing there. For a few more seconds, I simply sat, staring at the corner. Nothing moved. There was no sound except for the quiet whine of my laptop’s fan, and the hum of the fridge. I snorted. Really, Eddie? You’re jumping at shadowy blurs now? What are you, eight years old again? And with a shake of my head, I went back to the computer screen.
The hours seemed to pass by at an accelerated pace, and to my surprise, when I checked the clock at the bottom right of my laptop screen, the time said quarter to three in the morning. “Holy crap, I stayed up too friggin’ late!” I whispered to myself. I’d barely be getting four or five hours of sleep. And so, with a yawn, I shut my computer down and put it back into its carrying bag. As I stood up, though, a slight feeling of apprehension wiggled its way to the forefront of my mind. I lifted my head from zipping up the bag and again stared at the corner. This time there was nothing there. No blur at all. Recalling what my mother had told me years ago, I stood up and slowly stepped into the center of the kitchen, where I could see around the corner. I felt a small pang of embarrassment at the relief that washed over me as I saw nothing was there.
“What next, you gonna start believing in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus again?” I muttered to myself. And with that, I entered my bedroom, shutting the door behind me and climbing into bed. For a moment, the image of the blur danced behind my eyelids. And then the sandman overtook me, plunging me into a deep and dreamless sleep.
The next day passed by like I was wading through quicksand. Of course, it likely had to do with how tired I was. But I got through the day, and soon enough, I was back home. This time, I resolved to get to bed before midnight. One AM at the latest. So I didn’t go on my computer. Instead, I watched some TV, and indulged myself in a few online matches in Battlefield 1. Soon enough, the clock sitting next to the TV displayed 12:35 in big red numbers. Alright, time for bed, I thought, and stood up, shutting off the TV and Xbox. I decided that I would get myself a drink before bed, and moved to the fridge. Opening it, I pulled a pitcher of juice out, and grabbing a glass from a nearby cabinet, poured myself some. The cold liquid felt good sliding down my throat, and I let out a relieved sigh. For a moment, I closed my eyes. Apart from the sound of a diesel truck passing by outside, and the ticking of the clock over the sink, all was silent. And I loved it. I placed the glass in the sink to wash tomorrow, and turned to take the pitcher back to the fridge.
And nearly dropped it at what I saw. As I turned around, I had a clear view across the kitchen and living room toward the small alcove where my front door sat. And for just a second, I saw the same black and silver blur, pulling back out of sight from the edge of my vision. Except this time, I know it wasn’t just a trick of my vision, or a strand of hair flashing in front of my face. “Hey!” I reflexively yelled out. I didn’t expect any response, and I didn’t get any. But now I knew for certain. There was something, or someone there. I felt my pulse rapidly quicken, and my heart began to beat like a drum against my chest. Fucking great, did someone decide to break in and try to burgle my apartment, of all places tonight? I looked around quickly for something to defend myself. My eyes fell upon the block holding all my kitchen knives, and moving quickly, I pulled the largest one out and turned back towards the entryway.
There was no movement now, but I noticed a change in the atmosphere. Gone was the simple, vacant air the apartment always held. Now, it seemed to contain a charge to it. As if seeing the figure had been something they hadn’t planned on. As if I weren’t supposed to have seen it. Probably figured I’d already be in bed. Well, they have a massive surprise coming their way. I cleared my throat. “You back there” I called out simply. Again, there was no reply. I spoke again. “Look, I saw you there peeking around the corner of the entryway. The jig is up. I don’t want a fight right now, so, I’ll make you a deal. If you turn around right now and leave, I won’t call the cops on you, and I won’t come at you with this knife. Just, go find someone else to rob, okay?”
Still, there was silence. But the tension in the room seemed to have racked up more than a few notches at my words. I waited for a minute, feeling my temper begin to flare. Does the dumbass seriously believe that if he stays quiet, I’ll believe he’s not there and go to bed or something? It wouldn’t be a surprise; the people who usually broke into houses and apartments in my neighborhood were usually strung out on the drug of choice for the week, or, in all truthfulness, simply not that bright. I let out an annoyed growl. “If I have to come over there to get, it’s not gonna end well for you” I said. At six feet even, and in good shape, I could easily take on whoever it was.
The silence was almost deafening. Okay, the hell with this, man. I strode quickly across the room, the knife held out in front of me in a vice like grip. I stopped for a moment, drawing in all my strength and reflexes. For a moment, though, an odd sensation seemed to wash over me like a wave. To my surprise, it was a bolt of fear. But, fear of what? Yes, it was a bit dangerous to about to confront a cornered intruder, but fear shouldn’t be one of the experienced emotions. Shaking it away, I put all the muscle into my legs, and leapt around the corner.
There was nobody there.
For a moment, I simply stood there, feeling dumbfounded. “Uhhh….what?” I blurted out. I knew for a fact I’d seen someone there. It hadn’t been a trick of my eyes. And I hadn’t heard the front door open. In fact, looking down at it now, I saw the little knob on the door handle was, in fact, twisted into the locked position. As I stared down at it, a sudden, huge shiver rushed up my spine, combined with the feeling of being stared at intensely. In fact, it almost felt as though whoever were doing the staring, were almost directly behind me-shit!
On instinct, I whirled around, slashing out with the knife as hard as I could. But again, there was nothing. No one stood behind me. The oddest thing, though, was that as soon as I spun around, the feeling of eyes boring into the back of my skull ceased. As if the watcher had simply blinked out of existence the moment I turned. But the tension in the apartment didn’t go away. In fact, it almost seemed to intensify. And it kept me on edge. Enough to the point that I searched the entire apartment. I went into the bathroom, drawing back the shower curtain. I went into my bedroom and opened up the sliding doors to the closet. I even opened up both closets in the living room, pulling out all the coats and boxes someone could hide behind. But I found nothing. No trace of anybody. Even still, though, when I went to bed, I locked the door to my bedroom behind me, just in case. And I slept with the knife on my bedside table.
The next morning, when I awoke, the feeling had vanished from the apartment. It was almost as if the daylight had banished the tension filled aura away, and I was glad for it. Along with the fact that I had a full day of work ahead of me. And so, with a final look around, I locked the front door behind me, climbed into my old, but well taken care of Mitsubishi Starion, and made the two and a half hour drive into the city for work. The day passed by without much fuss, aside from a mandatory team meeting my dickhead boss decided to impose on us during our lunch break. The monotony calmed me down somewhat, and I began to mentally tease myself for how bent out of shape I’d gotten last night. I even decided to tell some of the guys at the water cooler about it.
Everyone, of course, had a good laugh over it. “Well, Ed, if I ever need someone to slice away at the dark emptiness of my house, I’ll be sure to give you a call!” Mark, one of my coworkers joked, causing everyone, including myself, to guffaw some more. The joking shoved it completely out of my mind, and before I knew it, the evening had arrived. I packed up my belongings back into the car and made the journey back home, still chuckling a bit to myself and humming along to the songs playing on the car’s radio. As I pulled into my apartment building’s parking lot and into my space at close to ten at night, however, I saw something which tore away that relaxed, relieved emotion from me like it’d been a loved one in the grip of a tsunami.
My complex is set up in a U formation with two floors, sort of similar to how an older built motel looks. My apartment was the second one on the top floor, and from where I sat in my car, I could look up and see the living room window of my place between the slats of the walkway’s railing. As I always did, when I left, I’d twisted shut the white venetian blinds so nobody walking past the window could look into my place.
Someone was peering down at me from between the blinds. From between my blinds.
I felt my blood turn to ice as I saw the obvious parting in the middle of them, signifying someone was pulling down on a section of them. And then doubly so when they, just as quickly, snapped back into position. Shitttt, I mentally hissed. I fumbled around in my coat pockets, looking for my cell phone. I let out a groan as I suddenly realized I’d forgotten it when I’d left home that morning. Which meant it was up there. With them. “Shit” I hissed again, out loud this time. I gazed around for a moment at the darkened windows of the other units. But I knew none of my neighbors would be of any help to me. Long gone were the days of neighbors looking out for each other; they would, inevitably, tell me to either find a way to call the cops myself, or straight up tell me to go fuck myself, that it wasn’t their problem. Which, unless I wanted to drive straight to my local police station, over twenty minutes away, the only other option was…to go in myself.
Hissing through gritted teeth, I pulled the door handle and kicked the door open, letting the chilly night air flood into the car’s interior. I reached down and yanked on the trunk release before climbing out and slamming the door. Crossing to it, I pulled the glass hatch up and fumbled around inside for a moment, before withdrawing a tire iron from the mess of crap cluttering up the trunk. Slamming the hatch closed, I took a deep breath, then, leaving my car’s engine running in case I needed to make a quick getaway, I took the stairs to the top floor two at a time. A moment later, I was standing at the head of the landing, staring at the Tweety-Bird yellow painted door of my apartment. My heart pounded in my chest as I took a step forward, reaching out slowly and gripping the handle in one hand. I gave it a small twist to see if it would turn.
But it stayed in place, showing that the door was still locked. Or, whoever’s in there locked it behind them. Swallowing a bit, I reached into my pants pocket for my house keys with my free hand. Pulling them out, I slid them as quietly as possible into the lock in the center of the doorknob. I took a deep breath, knowing as soon as I twisted the key, the doorknob would turn with it as well. “God, please don’t let me get jumped as soon as I step inside” I quietly whispered towards the dark sky. I let out the deep breath, then raised the tire iron over my head and twisted the key.
The knob turned, and I immediately pushed the door open. It swung inwards, before hitting the wall with a soft clunk. The porch light cast a long, narrow shaft of light into the dark room beyond, reflecting off my flat screen TV on the far side of the living room. Aside from that, though, the place was as dark and silent as a tomb. My pulse quickened as I slowly reached inside, my hand searching for the light switch. Part of my feared that, as I blindly searched, I’d suddenly feel a vice like grip seize my wrist and pull me into the dark. The mental image sent a shiver of fear through me, just as my fingers found the plastic switch. Flicking it on, the living room suddenly became awash in the bright overhead light. Still holding the tire iron over my head, I took a tentative step inside. The atmosphere in here had changed again. Gone was the tense one which had accompanied seeing…whoever the other night. In its place was….an almost threatening one. And realizing it set me even farther on edge.
Moving quickly, I leaned around the corner, giving me a glimpse of the kitchen beyond. Both it, and the living room were empty, from initial appearances, anyways. But that still left the bathroom, and the kitchen. Something caught my eye, however, which filled me with relief. My cell phone still sat where I’d left it, in the middle of the living room coffee table. I moved slowly, trying to stay as quiet as possible so whoever was hidden wouldn’t realize I was going for my phone and bum rush me. I held my breath as I passed by the half open doors of both my bathroom and bedroom, stepping around the couch and picking up my phone. I decided right there and then, that I’d step back outside and call the cops. There was a fine line between being courageous, and being suicidally stupid, and searching this place on my own, with just a tire iron to defend myself, especially knowing someone was hiding somewhere in here, was firmly on the latter side of that line.
I turned to begin walking quickly back to the open front door. But something stopped me. Something which made me freeze. There was a small section of eggshell white wall between the door to one of my closets, and the bathroom door. Something had been written there. No, not written, I realized. It had been scratched into the wall. My eyes flashed over the three words etched into the paint and plaster. Videre nos potest. My head swam with confusion, trying to place what language it was. That was when I felt my heart almost stop in my chest, my breath along with it.
Out of the left corner of my vision, I saw the door to my bedroom had slowly, but noticeably swung open a bit. That wasn’t what had caused my heart to skip a beat, though. It was seeing the black and silver blur again. Ohhhhh, shit. Before the thought had finished in my head, I was dashing for the door. Out of the corner of my vision, there was a sudden blur of movement as the black and silver figure came flying out of the room. It never made a sound, though. I dodged it, somehow, and flew around the corner, snatching the doorknob in my free hand and yanking the door shut behind me. Twisting the keys to the right to lock the door again, I tore them from the lock and thundered back down the stairs, yanking the door to my car open and crashing into the driver’s seat. Slamming the door shut and locking it, I dropped the tire iron and fumbled with my phone.
As the voice of the emergency dispatcher came on the other end of the line, and I stumbled through explaining what had happened, I kept my gaze locked through the windshield on the front door and the living room window. I swear I saw the blinds part again as I heard the wail of the police sirens approaching.
When the police arrived, I jumped out of my car and quickly explained what had happened. They took my house keys from me and with their pistols drawn, climbed quickly up the steps to my place. With neighbors opening their doors and parting their blinds to see what was happening, they unlocked the door and quickly entered. A few minutes later, they both reappeared and waved for me to come up and join them. “I’m sorry sir, but whoever it was, they’re gone” one of them said to me. He then showed me that the window in the back of the apartment, which was in the back of the kitchen and opened out onto a main road, had been opened, the mosquito screen having been cut to allow someone to jump out. I stared out and down at the two story drop. It would hurt to jump from this height, but it’s doable, I thought. The cops again did a sweep of the apartment, turning the entire place upside down with me there, and again, found no one. They both promised to stay the night outside, to keep an eye on the place in case the person attempted to try and come back, and would make sure an officer was posted outside for the next week or so. It made me feel more than a bit better.
“What about the writing scratched into the wall?” I asked them, pointing to it. The first officer shrugged. “I honestly don’t know, sir” he said, giving me an apologetic look, “That’s a language I’ve never seen before” That’s when the second spoke up. “It’s Latin” he said simply. We both looked at him. He was staring at the writing with a bit of a confused, if not apprehensive look on his face. “But what freaking low level criminal knows Latin?” he murmured quietly, more to himself than us. “Well, what does it say?” I asked him. For a few seconds, he didn’t answer, then he finally turned and looked at me.
“He can see us. That’s, roughly, what it says”
I felt a massive chill shoot up my spine at his words, though I couldn’t understand why. Not at the time.
As promised, the officers watched over the apartment the rest of the night. And for the next week, there was always at least one cop car sitting outside. It was also, thankfully, quiet that next week. I was almost able to feel completely calm, putting the frightening experience out of my mind and allowing my life to regain a bit of normalcy. I didn’t feel any sensation of being watched. One thing I did do, though, was type the Latin words into Google, in an attempt to see if anything came up. But nothing did. I decided to push the last remnants out of my conscious mind. And as the weekend came, I looked forward to sitting on the couch, playing video games all night, and having a bottle of Hypnotiq to myself. Saturday night, I played until almost one in the morning, before stumbling my drunk ass to the bed. I passed out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I’m honestly not sure what woke me up. But when I slid my eyes open, it was still to darkness. I felt my head begin to spin, showing that I wasn’t fully sober yet. I shot a look at the bright red glowing numbers of the clock on the bedside table next to my head. 3:30AM. Ugh, what the hell? Do I have to piss? What woke me u-
Everything stopped. My mind froze mid-thought, and my heart fluttered in my chest. My breath hitched in my chest as my eyes adjusted to the dark, staring across the room. I was looking at my bedroom closet, which, when I’d fallen asleep, I’d looked over and seen it closed. But now, as I stared, I realized the sliding right door had been pulled back some. A chill ran through me. And then it was replaced by a bone chilling shiver of fear as my eyes locked on to something else. Something which stared at me from around the edge of the half open closet door.
It was the black and silver blur. Except this time, it wasn’t a full on blur. I’m not sure whether it was the darkness or the alcohol still flowing through my veins, but…I could see it a bit more clearly now. I couldn’t see much. Just what looked like two large, very dark eyes, glaring at me. I felt frozen in place, fear quite literally paralyzing me to the bed. As I lay there, my eyes widened to the size of saucers, I slowly became aware of something else. Something which I’ll never forget, which I can still hear in the silence. It was whispering. It was a soft, hissing voice, sounding as grating as sandpaper, but it almost seemed to be growing in intensity. As if it knew I was awake and was staring at it. And it was not even remotely happy about it. The words were indistinguishable at first, but as the voice grew louder, the words became clear. But they weren’t words I knew. Or a language I knew.
“Tolle qui nos videre potest. Tolle qui nos videre potest. Tolle…qui nos videre potest!” I recognized some of the words as the same as the words written on my wall. It was speaking in Latin. The voice grew angrier and angrier, turning from a hiss into almost a demonic growl. And then, it went deadly silent. It almost seemed as though the entire world had gone dead silent, as if everything were being sucked out of the world.
That’s when I saw the hand reach up from underneath the bed to grab onto the sheets, less than a foot from my face. A hand which more resembled a claw, tipped with five razor sharp fingernails. There’s more than one….and it’s under my fucking bed!
Seeing that hand…that claw reaching up from under the bed broke the paralyzing hold that had come over me. I flew up in bed, flinging the sheets up and forwards and letting out an involuntary scream. Instantly, there seemed to be a world of motion in the bedroom. Black and silver blurs seemed to appear from everywhere. From the closet, from under the bed. Even from inside my armoire I used to store candy, books and CDs. And they were all coming for me.
But I was already moving, practically flying for my open bedroom door. Behind me, I caught the blurs following after me. They were terrifyingly fast, but they stayed silent. Silent, that is, except for the mantra they all suddenly began to angrily whisper. The same words I’d heard the one in the closet angrily hiss. “Tolle qui nos videre potest!” they chanted, just loud enough for me to hear. But not enough for anyone else in the complex to. I ran through the bedroom door, grabbing it and slamming it shut behind me. A moment later, I felt the push from the other side as whatever the things were attempted to force it open. Looking around, I spied a kitchen chair within reach and grabbed it, forcing it under the handle to block the door.
I knew it wouldn’t hold for long, though. I could hear the creatures practically throwing themselves at the door. I used the time I had to grab my computer bag, along with the clothes I’d left strewn on my living room floor and my cell phone. I’d just snatched my car keys from their hook, when I realized they’d gone silent. The assault on the door stopped. For a split second, I felt a wave of relief. And then I saw something out of the corner of my eye from the kitchen. My blood turned to ice as I realized the cabinet doors under the sink were beginning to open. And that demonic growl of a mantra was beginning to pour out from under it. So was my bathroom door. And both closets. “Oh, fuck me” I whimpered, then dashed for my door, snatching up my sneakers as they rushed out from their new hidey holes.
I unlocked and threw the door open, dashing out into the night and yanking it shut behind me. Bolting down the steps, I jammed the key into the door of my car and unlocked it. I piled into the driver’s seat and yanked the door shut, slamming down on the lock button. Forcing the key into the ignition and twisting it, the engine roared to life. I knew I should simply call the cops, but I knew at this point, if I did, when they arrived, they’d all have disappeared. Maybe even make it look like another person had jumped out the window again They're THAT smart. Instead, I jammed the shifter into reverse and peeled out of the parking lot. As I left, I saw the blinds part again. As they watched me go.
I haven’t been back to my apartment in weeks. I drove all through the night, fighting back the waves of nausea from the alcohol still in my system until I made it to the city where I work. I rented a motel room, and ever since then, I’ve been staying there. I figured I could just eventually have movers go and collect my things from the apartment, and give my thirty day notice. There was no way I was ever going back there.
I thought I would be safe in the city. I thought I would be safe anywhere else but my apartment. That they were bound to the place.
I was wrong. So very wrong.
Because I’ve started seeing them everywhere now. I’ve seen them while out in crowded places such as the mall or Wal-Mart. I’ve seen them in my coworker’s houses when I’m invited over by them as they tell me they’re concerned about how I’m beginning to act. I’m even seeing them at work. Peering at me from around the corners of hallways, from behind the water cooler. I’ve even caught them glaring at me from around the corner of my office cubicle. They whisper that horrible Latin mantra to themselves, now added with evil chuckles. And whisper it to me. I ended up entering the phrase into Google Translate, to understand what they were saying. But wish I never had. Because knowing meaning of the words fills me with an existential dread and terror I’ve never felt before.
Take away he who can see us
You need to listen to me now. You, reading this account I’m posting. I don’t know what these creatures are. I wish I did, because then, I might have some way of fighting back against them. I don’t even know what they fully look like. I’ve only seen their eyes. And their clawed hands. The only thing I can deduce, is that they are incalculably old. Centuries old. Maybe even eons. I now understand that those blurs I saw all throughout my life, from the corner of my vision, were them. They’ve lived alongside us for all of humanity’s existence, staying just out of sight. They like it that way. They don’t like us humans knowing about them.
But I know others, not just myself, have likely seen them.
How many strange cases of people disappearing in their homes, with all the doors and windows locked from the inside have you heard about. I know I’ve heard more than a few. And I think I know what happened to them. They saw these creatures. And when they realized the people could see them? They came for them. They wore them down, mentally and physically. Like they’re doing to me now. I’m afraid to fall asleep. Afraid I’ll wake up to see them right in front of me. I feel so weak now. I couldn’t fight them off if I tried. They know that. They knew that about the others. And that’s when they dragged them away….to God only knows where.
I know I'm going to find out soon enough.
Because all of today, they’ve been getting closer. I caught one trying to grab my leg under my desk. That wasn’t the scariest encounter I’ve had. The worst was driving back to the motel. Looking in the rear view mirror of my Starion. And seeing one of them glaring at me from just behind the rear seat. It caused me to nearly crash into a telephone pole. I’ve locked myself in my motel room, which is where I’m writing this. I don’t have much time left. They’re beginning to poke their heads out from everywhere in here. Multiple have popped their heads up from under the bed, watching me frantically typing this out on my laptop. And they’re all laughing at me. Today is when they're going to take me. They know I know that. I can’t do anything more now. I can’t run from them anymore. I’m too tired. Too weak.
But I can do one final thing. I can warn you. I can post this account of this here as a warning. I know for a fact most of you won’t believe me. And that’s fine. It may even be what saves you in the end.
But please, listen to me when I say this. If you ever think you see something peering at you from around a corner? If you ever catch a glimpse of a black and silver blur disappearing just out of sight? Don’t investigate it. Just ignore it. Tell yourself it’s nothing, and go about with your lives.
Because you don’t ever want them to realize you can see them.
submitted by JLGoodwin1990 to nosleep [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 04:32 etbryan83 Diagnosis difficulties please help

Female age 40. Smoker. I do not drink or use drugs.
-I have access to all of my blood work and can promptly answer any questions you may have.
Past Medical Hx Past Medical History:
. Anxiety - no meds
. Arrhythmia- PSVT - atenolol 2x per day
. FH: migraines - no meds
. History of palpitations-Controlled with Atenolol
. Incomplete abortion (multiple)
. Morbid obesity (HC)
. OSA on CPAP
. Panic attacks - no meds
. PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) - metformin
. Vitamin B 12 deficiency - biweekly injections
. Vitamin D 3 deficiency - daily D3 pill
. GERD - daily proton pump inhibitor
. Superficial blood clot in 2021 - no treatment was needed
. Dust mite allergy - daily allergy pill and nose spray
. Vertebral segmental dysfunction diagnosis with an X-ray at the chiropractor. I get small, low impact adjustments.
. 40mg prednisone. Was on 60mg but needed to drop down due to heart rate in the 140s
https://imgur.com/a/sxyWdIl
https://imgur.com/a/Q1mxEsa
https://imgur.com/a/OfY0BEJ
https://imgur.com/a/uW2z2ek
https://imgur.com/a/vO4JSAV
https://imgur.com/a/tVvqHUZ
Dear doctors of Reddit, I need you. My medical team is struggling to diagnose me. I need ideas to bring to the table, because apparently whatever I have is not very common. I am located in Minnesota and will absolutely take a recommendation on a professional to see.
Over the past few weeks I have seen 8 or 9 different doctors between the emergency room, my GP, a OBGYN, breast specialist, nurses, a PA and a dermatologist, I even saw a hematologist due to unusual blood work. No one knows what is wrong with me, how to diagnose me or how to treat me. But they all agree something is very wrong. Originally they thought Lupus and then the ER said vasculitis. When I saw my GP on Friday he asked me what I had found on google and started taking notes. I’m shit terrified.
Last year when things were bad…. but not even close to this bad I was cleaned by endocrinology. This year I was cleared by allergy. I also have a clean MRI/CT scan of my head.
My baseline of health never feels awesome. I’ve always been someone who felt “sickly” and run down. But I deal with it and don’t complain. When I have these “episodes”. Some symptoms are short lived and less bothersome than others. Unfortunately everything seems to be happening at once and I can’t function.
I am currently on 40mg of prednisone to try to control some of this while we look for answers.
-My breasts are turning purple. Blood vessels are bursting and I experience swelling and pain with this.
-vulva swelling with distended veins.
-I have problems with spikes in blood pressure and heart rate that can’t be explained and I was often told it is anxiety. It comes with a burning feeling in my chest and back. It is usually self limiting to hours and they don’t have a known trigger.
-my hands swell and turn red and purple if I get too warm or too upset.
-I don’t sweat anymore. Being hot makes me feel very sick and my face turns bright red. My skin feels like it is burning. It takes multiple ice packs and hours in front of an air conditioner to cool down to a regular temperature.
-I get stretches of unexplained chest pains. Sometimes I will feel like inside of my chest itches. Sometimes it will feel hard to breathe.
-I get stretches of unexplainable abdominal pains. Sometimes hours and sometimes weeks. I sometimes feel like the pain is generalized to a specific area like around my spleen or around my stomach. It will hurt worse if I touch the area. Sometimes it is full abdomen pain. During my last uppelower I was told there was unexplained esophagus inflammation. I have had episodes of delayed gastric emptying with vomiting during these periods.
-I get weird rashes on my arm if I go outside or get too hot. They are small round dots that turn in to open sores. They do not hurt or itch. They heal as white or purple marks. They just started last year.
-I get swelling in the left half of my face and have very limited sensation in the left cheek. With this I get what I am guessing is swelling in my tongue that causes deviation. The tongue deviation being linked to swelling is just a guess and my personal guess. Doctors have no clue(I was originally told this was anxiety)
-I get what feels like swelling in my inner ears. I feel and hear crunching and popping. Soon this pressure builds and I get feelings of being lightheaded, dizzy, smelling burning, vision changes, and cognitive decline.
-I get pain and stiffness in my neck, wrists, fingers and toes. I have numbness and tingling in my left arm with limited sensation and what feels like limited strength.
-I get lesions on the sides and back of my tongue and what feels like bumpy rashes on the roof of my mouth. This was something I noticed right before the tongue deviation started.
submitted by etbryan83 to AskDocs [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 04:29 BarbieBrasi I’m struggling with the memories of my sister forcefully abusing me as a kid and I don’t know how to heal…

I’m 23 and Im having these reoccurring memories of my sister (four years older than me) trying to drown me, suffocate me and lots of unspoken things at the age of about me being 4-12 years old. She has this need for my attention and approval but I’m struggling with feeling I have no empathy for anything she goes through. I think this may because of the horrific things I remember such as I remember her zip tying my fingers, making me drink soap or eat salt. She would take a pillow and put it over my face and sit on it until I was screaming bloody murder. We would fight like normal sisters ( I thought ) we would get into fist fights and she would pull my hair to it falling out. I remember almost drowning on several occasions. She would only let go because I clawed my way out of it everytime. One time me and my friend got tricked into getting locked out of my house for 30 min so her and her friends could enjoy there time without us kids but we were only wearing shorts tank tops and flip flops in the middle of winter with snow and ice on the ground. I remember her showing me porn all the time. There’s a lot of confusion I think it’s time to maybe see a therapist but I’m scared that will not go well. My parents were never around and would have my sister watch me (might be why she showed such force towards me). Till this day it haunts me and she’s very manipulative in a sense she records her self crying to send it to me so she can get every bit of sympathy out of me. I can’t take it anymore but I feel like the bad guy because I don’t feel bad for her. I feel bad in a sense she deals with depression and I understand that but I have this distance I keep from her. I understand she may have been a victim of other types of abuse as well and this may be why things were what they were.
She claims she doesn’t remember trying to drown me and moves on from the conversation fairly quick. These memories are becoming more vivid as I start to get older but I don’t know what to do with them I have a hard time with mental health and making any connections I haven’t made a friend in 7 years. Is this trauma ? Am I overreacting ?
submitted by BarbieBrasi to MentalHealthPH [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 04:10 casperjammer The whole 'my generation's hiphop is better' debate

Full disclosure, I am 43, look probably 15 years younger, but doesn't mean I haven't lived through it.
The way I see it, I am just not interested in hiphop these days. These days being since about 2013 or so. You can do the math. I grew up in a quite multi racial family and community very young, but moved to a place that was very white. This didn't affect me as much, because my racial fluidity facilitates that, buy nonetheless I could be considered an 'other'. Music on the other hand always had an undercurrent in my life, reggae, classical, Michael Jackson were my earliest memories in the early 80s. I'm not sure how hiphop in its own infancy found me, but those early days were The Fat Boys, Beastie Boys, Big Daddy Kane. Soon, MTV took hold before I was 10 and all sorts of music were coming into my cable box in a very 1980s kind of way. Then De La Soul and Paul's Boutique happened, Tipper Gore led a crusade about Explicit Lyrics, and Def Jam was in full effect and Tribe came into focus.
What I am getting at was a steady growth of hiphop and splintering in terms of tone, regionalism, racially, and voice. At this point by 1991 or so hiphop was technically about as old as me, but still considered a fad to America at large but still ballooning in terms of its own culture.
I soon became entranced by the likes of Nirvana, Bad Brains, Rage, Alice in Chains, and taking up playing the guitar and being a 13 yr old whose favorite show was In Living Color, also believed that rap wasn't real music, as I was learning instrumentation but before understanding sampling and how crucial and traversely fundamental hiphop took its roots from. Again, at this point, I have maybe a 6 year window of hiphop-ness in elementary school and Fab 5 Freddy on Saturday nights..that kind of remained the same until about 95 or 96. So, admittedly I kinda missed in the moment some of the seminal 93-96 stuff because I was on my teenage journey. But, that came to an end once I found DJ Krush. Enter DJ Shadow. ENDTRODUCING...The rest is history down the rabbit hole and mind expansion to hiphop and music at large. Started reading URB magazine which was the biggest informant of my world view of every genre. I think I 1st heard of Eminem in the back pages of the Invizibl Skratch Piklz issue in the fall of 1997 when I started university and bought my 1st pair of turntables 6 months later.
Again, circling back. I think it's a progressive, subjective conception of what you think is good, but it takes time. BUCK65, anticon, GZA, Peanut Butter Wolf, Prince Paul, Aceyalone, Cut Chemist, Deftones, all are early inspirational artists that keep evolving.
This shit now. What the fuck is a Lil Yachty, Lil Xan, Post Malone, or any other wannabe pre school vocabulary rapper who mumbles and has tattoos of cookies on their face. Get the fuck off my lawn. What progressions am I seeing? None. That's why Toro Y Moi or old Daft Punk is better than Ice Spice or your crazy Kanye now.
submitted by casperjammer to hiphop101 [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 04:04 Aromatic-Guava8203 manting

tears to warm away the cold of the mediated face to face reality
there has been so much of me in these conversations but I hold the ability to forthcoming unseen flying mysterious objects / / feelings in the sky looking for a landing to tattoo it with an apologize flying to the sky - buy me a helmet so I can make it up as I go along to catch myself a pair of wings
looking down preparing for this moment this one has already been - my voice won’t be loud enough to pull the trigger of your annoyances
art is just a hyperbole for mundane survival - but now I have this wall of blocks and just can’t literally figure it out
i was just looking around while I was passing through - for I rely on the lies that some things might mean enough for one thing and drinks or two when intersected in one’s brain
i’ll be looking down searching in the ant like humans one blanket to cover you while I pass through your entrails before you forget what my eyes used to want to say
submitted by Aromatic-Guava8203 to Poems [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 04:03 nahimavegan (Selling) Huge list of 1100+ movies! Lots of New and Rare titles!

Prices are firm, but I take off $.75 for every $10 spent (multiple items)
I accept PayPal, Venmo, & Cashapp
Codes are always split/dual portion where applicable, & have no DMI
Only redeem portion you pay for
New additions
14 Blades HD/VU $4.5
22 Jump Street HD/MA $3.5
3 Extremes HD/VU $4.5
355 HD/MA $4.5
48 Hrs 4K/VU $6
50/50 HD/VU $4
600 Miles HD/VU $4
80 for Brady HD/VU $7
A Dog's Purpose HD/IT $3
A Good Day to Die Hard (Ext) HD/VU $2.5
A Journal for Jordan HD/MA $5
A Man Called Otto HD/MA $6.5 or SD/MA $3.5
A24 5-Film Set (X, Green Room, It Comes at Night, Hereditary, Witch) HD/VU $15
Addams Family (2019) 4K/IT $4.5
Addams Family 2 4K/IT $5
Addams Family w/ More Mamushka! 4K/VU $5.5
After Yang HD/VU $4.5
Age of Adeline HD/VU or IT $3
Agent Game 4K/VU $5
Air Force One 4K/MA $6
Alien 6-Film Collection HD/MA $18
Alien Resurrection HD/MA $4
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Banshees of Inisherin
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Best F(r)iends Vol 2 HD/VU $4.5
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Charlie Brown 4-Film Set HD/VU $15
Christmas Classics Set (Home Alone, Jingle All Way, Miracle on 34th Street '94, A Christmas Carol '84) HD/MA $18
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Home Again HD/MA $3
Home Alone 2 HD/MA $3.5
Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. HD/MA $5
Hotel Transylvania HD/MA $3.5
House Next Door Meet Blacks 2 4K/VU $5.5
House of 1000 Corpses HD/VU $4
House w/ a Clock in Its Walls HD/MA $4
Hulk (2003) HD/MA $4
Humans HD/VU $4.5
Hunt for Red October 4K/VU $5.5
Hurt Locker 4K/VU $5
Hustle & Flow HD/VU $4
I Frankenstein HD/VU or IT $2.5
I Love You Phillip Morris HD/VU $4.5
Ice Age Collision Course HD/MA $3
In Blood HD/MA $4
In Secret (2014) HD/VU $4.5
Incredible Hulk HD/MA $4
Independence Day (1996) 4K/MA $5.5
Indiana Jones & Raiders of Lost Ark HD/VU $4
Infinite HD/VU $4.5
Inglourious Basterds HD/MA $4 or SD/IT $1.5
Inhabitant HD/VU $4.5
Interview w/ Vampire HD/MA $4
Iron Man & Hulk Heroes United HD/GP $3.5
Iron Mask (2019) HD/VU $4.5
Isle of Dogs HD/MA $4
It Happened One Night 4K/MA $5.5
Italian Job 4K/VU $6.5
Jack Reacher Never Go Back HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Jeff Who Lives at Home HD/VU $4
Jobs HD/MA or IT $3.5
Joe Kidd HD/MA or IT $4
Jordan Peele 3-Film Collection (Nope, Us, Get Out) HD/MA $11
Journey to West Conquering Demons HD/VU $3.5
Joy HD/MA $3
Juliet, Naked 4K/VU $5.5
Jungle Book (2016) 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Ju-On Grudge HD/VU $4.5
Jurassic Park 3 HD/VU $3.5
Jurassic World 6-Film Collection (Dominion Thea & Ext) HD/MA $18
Jurassic World Dominion (Thea & Ext) HD/MA $5
Kama Sutra HD/VU $4.5
Kid Who Would Be King 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
Kill Zone (2005) HD/VU $4.5
King Richard 4K/MA $5.5
King's Man 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/GP $3.5
Knives Out 4K/VU $5.5
Knock at Cabin HD/MA $8
Knowing 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Knowing/Push Double Feature HD/VU $7.5
Labyrinth HD/MA $4.5
Lady & Tramp HD/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $4
Lair of White Worm HD/VU $4.5
Last Christmas HD/MA $4
Last Duel HD/GP $3.5
Last Flag Flying HD/MA $4
Last Picture Show 4K/MA $5.5
Last Samurai HD/MA $4
Legend of Hercules 4K/IT $3
Let Them All Talk 4K/MA $5.5
Lightyear HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Lilo & Stitch HD/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $4
Limey 4K/VU $5.5
Lion King HD/GP $3
Locked Down 4K/MA $5.5
Lyle Lyle Crocodile HD/MA $5
M3GAN (Thea & Unrated) HD/MA $7.5
Mack & Rita HD/VU $4.5
Mad Max 1-4 Set 4K/VU $18.5
Mad Max 2 Road Warrior 4K/VU $5.5
Mad Men Complete Series HD/VU $35
Magic Mike's Last Dance HD/MA $7
Magnificent Seven 4-Film Set (1960, Return, Guns, Ride) HD/VU $13
Man of Tai Chi HD/VU $4
Man Who Fell To Earth 4K/VU $6
Manchester by Sea HD/IT $3.5
Marksman HD/MA $4
Marlowe HD/MA $7.5
Mask of Zorro 4K/MA $6
Mask of Zorro 4K/MA $6
Mauritanian 4K/IT $5
Maze Runner Death Cure HD/MA $3.5
Maze Runner HD/MA $3.5
Meatballs HD/VU $4
Memory HD/MA $4
Men HD/VU $4.5
Men in Black 3 HD/MA $3
Men in Black HD/MA $4
Menu HD/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $4
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts HD/MA $5.5 or HD/GP $5
Mid-Century 4K/VU $5
Midsommar HD/VU $4
Miracle on 34th Street (1947) HD/MA $4
Missing Link HD/MA $4
Missing SD/MA $4
Mission Impossible 3 4K/VU $4.5
Mitchells vs Machines HD/MA $4.5
Mommy HD/VU $4
Monster High Electrified HD/VU or IT $2.5
Moonfall 4K/VU $4.5
Morbius HD/MA $4
Mother's Day HD/IT $2.5
Moving On HD/VU $5.5
Mrs Harris Goes to Paris 4K/MA $6
My Brilliant Friend Season 1 HD/VU $4
My Fair Lady 4K/VU $5.5
Nashville HD/VU $4
Needle in a Timestack 4K/VU $5.5
Night House HD/GP $4
No Sudden Move 4K/MA $6
Nope HD/MA $5.5
Northman HD/MA $4
Oliver! 4K/MA $5
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood HD/MA $3.5
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood HD/MA $4
Paradise Highway 4K/VU $5.5
Paranormal Activity 1-8 Collection HD/VU $22
Paranormal Activity Ghost Dimension (Unrated) HD/VU $4.5
Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 HD/MA $3.5
Paw Patrol Movie HD/VU $4.5
Percy Jackon Lightning Thief SD/IT $1.5
Percy Jackson Sea of Monsters HD/MA $3
Perfectos Desconocidos HD/VU $4
Peter Pan (1953) HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Peter Rabbit HD/MA $3.5
Phantom Thread HD/MA $4
Piano HD/VU $4.5
Pitch Black (Unrated) HD/MA or IT $4
Plane 4K/VU $6.5
Pocahontas 2 Journey to a New World HD/GP $3.5
Pompeii HD/MA $3.5
Pretty in Pink HD/VU $3.5
Prey for Devil 4K/VU $6
Prince of Egypt HD/MA $4.5
Protege HD/VU $4
Proud Mary HD/MA $3.5
Pulp Fiction 4K/VU $5.5
Pulp Fiction 4K/VU $5.5
Push 4K/VU $6
Puss in Boots Last Wish HD/MA $6.5
Queen of Katwe HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Raid Redemption (Thea & Unrated) HD/MA $4.5
Ran (1985) 4K/VU $5.5
Ratatouille 4K/MA $6 or HD/GP $4
Rear Window HD/MA $3.5
RED 2 HD/VU or IT $2
Red Heat 4K/VU $5
Redline HD/VU $4.5
Reign of Assassins HD/VU $4.5
Repo Genetic Opera HD/VU $4.5
Rescuers Down Under HD/MA $5 or HD/GP $4.5
Rescuers HD/MA $5 or HD/GP $4.5
Reservoir Dogs 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Resident Evil Retribution 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Retaliation (2017) HD/VU $4
Ride Like a Girl HD/VU $4
Right One 4K/VU $5.5
Ring HD/VU $4.5
Rio 2 HD/MA $3
Rio SD/IT $1.5
Rocky Knockout Collection 1-4 (Rocky IV w/ Thea & Rocky vs Drago Ultimate Cut) 4K/VU $20
Rules of Attraction HD/VU $4
Rumble HD/VU $5
Running Man 4K/VU $5.5
Safe Haven SD/IT $1.5
Saint Maud HD/VU $4.5
Sausage Party HD/MA $3.5
Saw 7-Film Collection (Unrated) HD/VU $18
Saw 8-Film Collection HD/VU $20
Scott Pilgrim vs World 4K/MA $5.5
Scream 4 HD/VU $4
Scream HD/VU $4.5
Secret Garden (2020) 4K/IT $5
Secret in Their Eyes HD/VU or IT $3
Sense & Sensibility 4K/MA $5
Sex & City 2 SD/IT $1.5
Sex Tape HD/MA $3.5
Shaun of Dead HD/MA $4 or 4K/IT $4.5
Shawshank Redemption 4K/MA $5.5
Shazam! Fury of Gods HD/MA $10
She Said HD/MA $6.5
Shooter 4K/VU $5
Show Dogs HD/MA $3.5
Siberia (2018) HD/VU $3
Silent Night, Deadly Night 3-Film Set (3-5) HD/VU $8
Silent Twins 4K/MA $6
Silk Road 4K/VU $5
Sing 2 HD/MA $4
Sing Street HD/VU $4
Sixteen Candles HD/MA $4
Skeleton Twins HD/VU $4.5
Smile HD/VU $5.5
Smokey & Bandit HD/MA $3.5
Smokin' Aces 4K/MA $5.5
Smurfs Lost Village HD/MA $3.5
Snake Eyes G.I. Joe Origins 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Snatch 4K/MA $5.5
Social Network 4K/MA $5.5
Son of God HD/MA $3
Source Code 4K/VU $5.5
Spartacus HD/MA $3.5
Spider-Man Into Spider-Verse 4K/MA $5.5
Spider-Man No Way Home HD/MA $4
Spinning Man HD/VU $4
Spirit HD/VU $4
Spontaneous HD/VU $4.5
Starship Troopers 4K/MA $6
Sting 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Strange World HD/GP $4
Strangers Prey at Night HD/MA $3
Stripes 4K/MA $5
Sudden Death HD/IT $4
Taken 2 HD/MA $3.5
Tangled HD/MA $4
Tar HD/MA $6
Taxi Driver HD/MA $4
Teen Spirit (2019) HD/MA $4
Teen Titans Go! & DC Super Hero Girls Mayhem Multiverse HD/MA $6
Teeth HD/VU $4.5
Ten Commandments (1923) HD/VU $4
Ten Commandments (1956) HD/VU $4
Tetro HD/VU $4
Thanks for Sharing HD/VU $4
The Batman HD/MA $4
This is End HD/MA $3.5
This Means War SD/IT $1.5
Thor Love & Thunder 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/GP $3.5
Till 4K/IT $7
Time Freak HD/VU $4
To Kill a Mockingbird 4K/IT $4
To Sir w/ Love 4K/MA $5.5
Tomb Raider Cradle of Life 4K/VU or IT $5.5
Top Gun Maverick 4K/VU $6 or HD/VU $4.5
Touched w/ Fire HD/VU $4.5
Town SD/IT $1.5
Trading Places HD/VU $4
Transformers 4K/VU $5
Transformers Age of Extinction HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Transformers Dark of Moon 4K/VU $4.5
Transformers Revenge of Fallen 4K/VU $5
Triple 9 HD/IT $3.5
Troy (Director's Cut) HD/MA $4.5
True Grit SD/IT $1.5
Tucker Man & His Dream 4K/VU $5
Turning Red HD/GP $3
Twilight 1-3 (Ext) HD/VU $10
Twilight Breaking Dawn Pt 1 HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Twilight HD/VU $4
Umma HD/MA $4.5
Uncharted HD/MA $4
Uncut Gems HD/VU $4
Under Skin HD/VU $3.5
Underwater HD/MA $4.5
Underworld 5-Film Set HD/MA $17
Venom Let There Be Carnage HD/MA $4
Virtuoso 4K/VU $5
Vivo HD/MA $5
Voyagars 4K/VU $5
W. HD/VU $4
Wall Street Money Never Sleeps SD/IT $1.5
War of Worlds 4K/VU $5.5
War on Everyone HD/VU $4
Warhunt 4K/VU $4.5
Waterworld HD/MA $4
Wayne's World 4K/VU $5.5
Weekend HD/VU $4
What We Did on our Holiday HD/VU $4
Where Crawdads Sing HD/MA $4.5
Whitney Houston I Wanna Dance w/ Sombody HD/MA $5.5 or SD/MA $3
Wicker Man (1973) HD/VU $4.5
Winnie Pooh Springtime w/ Roo HD/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $4
Wolf Man (1941) HD/MA $3.5
Woman King HD/MA $5.5
Women Talking 4K/IT $7
X-Men Days of Future Past Rogue Cut 4K/IT $5.5
X-Men First Class & Days of Future Past HD/MA $6.5
X-Men Trilogy (X-Men, X2, Last Stand) HD/MA $12
Zero Dark Thirty HD/MA $3.5
All other movies (A-Z)
101 Dalmatians HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
12 Years a Slave HD/MA $3.5
13 Hours Soldiers of Benghazi HD/VU $2.5
1917 HD/MA $3.5
2 Fast 2 Furious 4K/IT $3.5
2 Guns HD/VU or IT $2.5
21 Jump Street HD/MA $3
3 From Hell (Unrated) 4K/VU $4 or HD/VU $2.5
31 HD/VU $2.5
310 to Yuma 4K/VU $5
47 Meters Down HD/IT $3.5
47 Meters Down Uncaged HD/VU $3.5
47 Ronin HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
71 HD/VU $4
A Clockwork Orange 4K/MA $5
A Most Wanted Man HD/VU $3.5
A Quiet Place HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
A Quiet Place Part 2 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
A Wrinkle in Time HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
About Time HD/VU or IT $3.5
Action Point HD/IT $2
Adore HD/IT $3.5
Adventures Of TinTin HD/VU or IT $2.5
After Earth HD/MA $3
Aladdin (2019) 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Alex Cross HD/VU or IT $2
Alfred Hitchcock 5-Film Set Vol 2 4K/MA $24
Alice Through Looking Glass HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Alita Battle Angel 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
All Eyez on Me HD/IT $3
All Money in World HD/MA $3.5
Aloha HD/MA $3.5 or SD/MA $1
Alvin & Chipmunks Road Chip HD/MA $2.5
Amazing Spider-Man 2 HD/MA $4
Amazing Spider-Man HD/MA $3.5 or SD/MA $1.5
America Imagine World w/out Her HD/VU $1.5
American Assassin 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
American Frontier Trilogy (Sicario, Wind River, Hell or High Water) HD/VU $7.5
American Hustle SD/MA $1.5
American Made 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
American Night HD/VU $4
American Reunion HD/VU or IT $3
American Ultra HD/IT $4
Anchorman 2 Legend Continues HD/VU or IT $2.5
Angel Heart 4K/VU $5.5
Angel of Mine 4K/VU $5.5
Anna 4K/VU $5 HD/VU $3.5
Anna Karenina HD/IT $3.5
Annie (2014) HD/MA $3.5 or SD/MA $1.5
Annihilation HD/VU $3
Antebellum 4K/VU $5
Ant-Man & Wasp HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Ant-Man HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Apollo 13 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Arctic HD/MA $4
Arnold Schwarzenegger 6-Film Collection (Last Stand, Total Recall, T-2, Red Heat, Maggie, Hercules in NY) HD/VU $14
Arrival HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Ash vs Evil Dead Season 3 HD/VU $5
Assassination Nation HD/MA $3.5
Assassin's Creed HD/MA $3
Atomic Blonde 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA$3
August Osage County HD/VU $3
Avengers Age of Ultron HD/MA $3.5 pr HD/GP $3
Avengers Endgame HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Avengers HD/GP $3
Avengers Infinity War HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Back to Future Trilogy 4K/MA $14 or HD/MA $9.5
Bad Boys for Life HD/MA $4
Bad Grandpa HD/IT $2.5
Bad Words HD/IT $3
Bambi HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Bangkok Dangerous HD/VU $4
Bank Job HD/VU $3.5
Barbie & Her Sisters in Great Puppy Adventure HD/VU or IT $3.5
Barbie in Princess Power HD/IT $3.5
Barbie Star Light Adventure HD/IT $3.5
Battle of Year HD/MA $3.5
Battleship HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Baywatch HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Beatriz at Dinner HD/VU $4.5
Beauty & Beast (1991) HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Beauty & Beast (2017) HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Before I Fall HD/VU or IT $3.5
Begin Again HD/VU $3.5
Ben-Hur (2016) HD/VU or IT $3.5
BFG HD/MA $3.5
Big Eyes HD/VU $3.5
Big Hero 6 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Big Lebowski 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
Big Little Lies Season 1 HD/GP $2.5
Big Short HD/VU or IT $3.5
Big Wedding SD/IT $1
Birth of a Nation HD/MA $3.5
Black Panther 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Black Widow HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Blackhat HD/IT $3.5
Blair Witch Project (1999) HD/VU $4
Blockers HD/MA $3.5
Boardwalk Empire Season 1 HD/VU or IT $4
Bombshell 4K/VU $5
Book Club HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Book of Life HD/MA $3.5
Born a Champion 4K/VU $5
Boss Baby HD/MA $2.5
Bourne Identity HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Bourne Legacy HD/VU $2
Bourne Supremacy HD/VU $3.5
Bourne Ultimatum 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Boy 2 HD/IT $3.5
Boy Erased HD/MA $4
Boy HD/IT $3.5
Boyhood HD/VU or IT $2.5
Braven HD/VU $4
Butler HD/VU $3
Butterfly Effect HD/MA $4
Bye Bye Man (Unrated) HD/IT $2.5
Cabin in Woods 4K/VU or IT $4.5 or HD/VU $2.5
Call of Wild 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Captain America Civil War HD/GP $2.5
Captain America First Avenger HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5 or SD/IT $1.5
Captain America Winter Soldier HD/GP $3.5
Captain Marvel HD/GP $2
Captain Phillips HD/MA $3.5 or SD/MA $1.5
Carol HD/VU $4
Cars 3 HD/GP $2.5
Case for Christ HD/IT $2.5
Chaos Walking 4K/VU $5
Chicago HD/VU $4
Children (2008) HD/VU $4
Christopher Robin HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Cloverfield 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Coco HD/GP $2.5
Cold Pursuit 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Collection HD/VU $3.5
Columbiana (Unrated) HD/MA $4
Come & Find Me HD/VU $4
Commuter 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Company of Heroes HD/MA $4
Contraband HD/IT $3
Cooties HD/VU $4
Cornetto Trilogy (Shaun of Dead, Hot Fuzz, World's End) 4K/MA $15
Counselor HD/MA $4
Courier 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Crank 4K/VU $5.5
Crimson Peak HD/IT $3.5
Croods HD/VU $3.5
Cruella HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
D Train 4K/IT $4
Daddy's Home 2 HD/IT $3
Daddy's Home HD/VU $3
Dark Tower HD/MA $3.5
Darkest Hour (2017) 4K/MA $5.5
Darkness HD/IT $3
Dawn of Planet of Apes HD/MA $3.5
Daybreakers 4K/VU $5.5
Deadpool 2 (w/Super Duper Cut) HD/MA $4
Deadpool HD/MA $2.5
Dear White People HD/VU $3.5
Dementia 13 (Director's Cut) HD/VU $4
Descendants SD/IT $1.5
Despicable Me 2 HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Despicable Me 4K/IT $5 or SD/IT $1.5
Detroit HD/MA $3.5
Dilemma HD/VU $3.5 or SD/IT $1.5
Dirty Dancing 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Disney Animated Short Films Collection HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Divergent Allegiant HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Divergent HD/VU $1.5 or 4K/IT $2 or SD/VU $0.5
Divergent Insurgent HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Django Unchained HD/VU $3 or SD/IT $1.5
Do Right Thing 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
Doctor Strange HD/GP $2.5
Dom Hemingway HD/MA $3.5
Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot HD/VU $4
Doom (Unrated) 4K/MA $5.5
Doorman HD/VU $3.5
Doors 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Dora & Lost City of Gold HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Downton Abbey Movie HD/MA $4
Dracula Untold HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Draft Day HD/VU $3.5
Dragged Across Concrete HD/VU $3.5
Dreamkatcher HD/VU $4
Dredd HD/VU $2.5
Duff SD/VU $1.5
Dumbo (2019) HD/GP $3
Dune 4K/MA $5.5
Dying of Light HD/VU $2.5
E.T. Extra Terrestrial 4K/VU or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Edge of Seventeen HD/VU or IT $3
Edge of Tomorrow 4K/MA $5
Edward Scissorhands HD/MA $3.5
El Chicano HD/MA $4
Encanto 4K/MA $4 or 4K/GP $3.5
Enemy at Gates HD/VU $4
Enough Said HD/MA $3.5
Epic HD/MA $3
Escape Plan HD/VU $2
Eternals HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Everest 4K/MA or IT $4.5
Ex Machina HD/VU $3
Exodus Gods & Kings HD/MA $3.5
Expendables 2 HD/VU or IT $1
Expendables 3 (Thea) HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
Extreme Prejudice (1987) HD/VU $4
Fast & Furious (2009) HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Fast & Furious 6 (Ext) HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
Fast & Furious 6-film Collection HD/VU $12.5
Fast & Furious 7-film Collection HD/VU $14
Fast & Furious 8-film Collection (9 Films) HD/MA $17.5
Fast & Furious 9-film Collection (11 Films) HD/MA $20
Fast & Furious HD/VU $3.5
Fast Color 4K/VU $5.5
Fast Five (Ext) HD/IT $2.5 or SD/IT $1
Fatale 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Fate of Furious (Ext) HD/VU $2
Fate of Furious (Thea) HD/VU or IT $1.5
Fault in Our Stars HD/MA $3.5
Fences HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Ferdinand HD/MA $3.5
Fifty Shades Darker (Unrated) HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Fifty Shades of Grey (Unrated) HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Finding Dory HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Finding Nemo HD/GP $3.5
Finest Hours HD/GP $3
First Blood 4K/VU $5
First Man HD/MA $4
Flight HD/VU or IT $3
Florence Foster Jenkins HD/VU or IT $3
Footloose (2011) HD/IT $3
Forever My Girl HD/IT $3
Fortress HD/VU $4
Four Kids & It HD/VU $3.5
Fox & Hound 2 HD/MA $4
Frank & Lola HD/VU or IT $3
Frankenstein (1931) HD/VU $3.5
Free Guy HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
French Dispatch HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Friday 13th Pt 3 HD/VU $3.5
Frozen (Sing-Along Edition) HD/MA $2 or HD/GP $1.5
Frozen 2 4K/MA $4 or HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Frozen Ground HD/VU $3.5
Frozen HD/GP $2
Furious 7 (Ext) HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
Fury HD/MA $3.5
G.I. Joe Retaliation HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Gambit (2012) HD/MA $4
Gambler HD/IT $3
Gambler HD/VU $3
Gemini Man 4K/VU or IT $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Get Out HD/MA $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Ghostbusters (1984) HD/MA $3.5
Ghostbusters 2 HD/MA $3.5
Ghostbusters Afterlife HD/MA $4
Girl on Train HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Girl w/ All Gifts HD/VU $4
Girls Trip HD/VU or IT $2
Glass Castle 4K/VU $5.5
God's Not Dead 2 HD/MA or IT $2.5
Gods of Egypt HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Gold (2016) HD/VU or IT $2.5
Good Dinosaur HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Good Kill HD/VU or IT $3.5
Grace Unplugged HD/VU $2
Greatest Showman HD/MA $3.5
Green Mile 4K/MA $5.5
Grey HD/VU or IT $3
Guardians of Galaxy Vol 1 HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Guardians of Galaxy Vol 2 HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Guest House 4K/VU $5
Guilt Trip HD/IT $3
Gunman HD/MA $3
Hacksaw Ridge HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Hail, Caesar! HD/IT $3
Hammer of Gods HD/VU $2
Hands of Stone HD/VU $3.5
Hannibal Season 1 HD/VU $5
Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters (Unrated) 4K/IT $4
Hard Target 2 HD/IT $1.5
Hardcore Henry HD/VU or IT $3.5
Hateful Eight HD/VU $3.5
Heat HD/MA $3
Heaven is for Real SD/MA $1.5
Hell Fest 4K/VU $5
Hell or High Water HD/VU $2.5
Hellboy (2019) HD/VU $3 or 4K/VU $4.5
Hercules (1997) HD/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $4
Hercules (2014) HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Here Comes Boom HD/MA $3.5
Hidden Figures HD/MA $3
Hillsong Let Hope Rise HD/IT $2
Hitman's Bodyguard HD/VU $3.5
Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Hocus Pocus HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Home Alone HD/MA $3.5
Homesman HD/VU $3
Honey 2 HD/VU $3
Hop HD/MA or IT $3
Hope Springs HD/MA $2.5 or SD/MA $1
Hostiles HD/VU $3
Hot Fuzz HD/VU $4
Hotel Mumbai HD/MA $4
Hours (2013) HD/VU $4
How Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) 4K/IT $4
How to Train Your Dragon 2 HD/MA $2.5
How to Train Your Dragon HD/VU $3.5
How to Train Your Dragon Trilogy HD/MA $9
Hugo HD/VU or IT $3
Hunger Games 4-Film Collection HD/VU $8
Hunger Games Catching Fire HD/VU $1.5 or 4K/IT $2 or SD/VU $.5
Hunger Games HD/VU $1.5 or 4K/IT $2 or SD/VU $.0.5
Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 HD/VU $2.5 or SD/VU $1
Hunter Killer 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Huntsman Winter's War (Ext) HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
I Can Only Imagine HD/VU $4
I Feel Pretty HD/IT $2
Incredibles 2 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Incredibles HD/GP $3.5
Independence Day Resurgence HD/MA $2.5
Indiana Jones & Temple of Doom 4K/VU $5.5
Indignation HD/VU $4
Initiation 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Inside Out HD/GP $2
Instant Family 4K/IT $3.5
Internship SD/IT $1.5
Interstellar HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Into Woods HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Invisible Man (1933) HD/MA $3.5
Invisible Man (2020) 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
Iron Man 3 HD/GP $2
Iron Man HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
It Follows HD/VU $3.5
It's a Wonderful Life 4K/VU or IT $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Jack & Jill HD/MA $3.5
Jack Reacher HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $4.5
Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Jacob's Ladder HD/VU $4
Jarhead 3 Siege (Unrated) HD/IT $2.5
Jason Bourne HD/VU $2.5
Jason Statham 4-Film HD/VU $10
Jason Statham 6-Film HD/VU $14
Jaws 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Jersey Boys HD/MA $2.5
Jesus Music HD/VU $3.5
Jigsaw 4K/VU $4.5
Joe HD/VU $3.5
John Wick 1 & 2 Bundle HD/VU $4
John Wick 3 Parabellum 4K/VU $4.5
John Wick Chapter 2 HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
John Wick HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
John Wick Trilogy (Parabellum 4K) HD/VU $9
Jonah Hex HD/MA $4.5
Judy 4K/VU $5
Jungle Cruise HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Jurassic Park 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Jurassic World 5-Film Collection HD/MA $14
Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Jurassic World HD/VU $2.5
Justice (2017) HD/VU or IT $3
Justin Bieber Never Say Never SD/IT $1.5
Kevin Hart Let Me Explain HD/VU or IT $3
Kick-Ass 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4 or SD/IT $1.5
Kidnap HD/VU or IT $2.5
Killer Elite HD/IT $3
Killerman HD/VU $4
Kin 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
King Kong (2005) 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Kingsman Golden Circle 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Kingsman Secret Service 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang HD/MA $4.5
Knick Season 1 HD/IT $3.5
Knick Season 2 HD/IT or GP $3.5
Kung Fu Panda 3 HD/MA $3
La La Land 4K/IT $3.5
Labor Day HD/VU or IT $3
Lady Macbeth HD/VU $4.5
Last Airbender HD/VU $4.5
Last Exorcism HD/VU $4
Last Knights HD/VU $3.5 or SD/VU $1.5
Last Man (2019) HD/VU $4
Last Stand HD/IT $2
Last Vegas HD/MA $3.5
Last Witch Hunter HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Leatherface HD/VU $4
Leprechaun 7-Film Collection HD/VU $12
Les Miserables (2012) HD/VU or IT $2
Let Me Explain HD/IT $2.5
Let's be Cops HD/MA $3.5
Life (2017) HD/MA $3.5
Life of Crime HD/VU $3.5
Life of Pi 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA or IT $3.5
Light of My Life HD/IT $3.5
Like a Boss HD/VU $3.5
Lilo & Stitch 2 Stitch Has a Glitch HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Lincoln Lawyer 4K/VU $6.5 or HD/VU $4
Lion King (2019) 4K/MA $4 or HD/GP $2
Live by Night HD/MA $3
Logan HD/MA $3
Logan Lucky 4K/MA or IT $4.5
Lone Ranger HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Lone Survivor HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Long Shot HD/VU $3.5
Longest Ride HD/MA $3
Longest Week HD/VU $3.5
Looper HD/MA $3.5
Lorax (1972) HD/MA $5
Lorax HD/VU $3
Lords of Salem HD/VU $4
Lost World Jurassic Park HD/MA $3
Love & Monsters HD/VU $4
Love Coopers HD/VU or IT $4
Love, Simon HD/MA $3.5
Loving HD/VU or IT $3.5
Luca HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Lucy HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Madagascar 3 HD/VU or IT $3
Madea's Witness Protection SD/IT $1.5
Magnificent Seven (2016) HD/VU $3
Maleficent 4K/MA $4 or HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Maleficent Mistress of Evil HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Mama HD/IT $3
Mamma Mia Here We Go Again HD/MA $2.5
Man Who Shot Liberty Vance 4K/VU $5.5
Mandela Long Walk to Freedom HD/VU $4
Martian HD/MA $3.5
Mary Poppins (1964) HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Mary Poppins Returns HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Matrix Resurrections 4K/MA $5.5
Max Steel HD/IT $3
McKenna Shoots for Stars HD/IT $2
Mechanic Resurrection HD/VU $2.5
Megan Leavey HD/IT $3
Midnight Sun HD/MA $3.5
Midway 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Mile 22 HD/IT $3
Million Dollar Arm HD/GP $2.5
MindGamers HD/MA or IT $3.5
Minions 4K/MA or IT $4.5 HD/VU $3
Misconduct HD/VU $2.5
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children HD/MA $3
Mission Impossible 4 Ghost Protocol HD/VU $2
Mission Impossible 5 Rogue Nation HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Mission Impossible 6 Fallout 4K/VU or IT $4.5
Mission Impossible 6-film Set 4K/VU or IT $23 or HD/VU $17
Moana HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Moneyball HD/MA $3
Monkey Kingdom HD/MA $3
Monsters University HD/GP $3
Monuments Men HD/MA $3.5
Mortal Engines 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
Mortal HD/VU $4
Mortal Instruments City of Bones HD/MA $3 or SD/MA $1.5
Mother! HD/VU $2.5
Mr. Poppers Penguins SD/IT $1.5
Much Ado About Nothing (2013) HD/VU $4
Mud HD/VU $2.5
Mulan (2020) 4K/MA 4.5 or HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Mummy (1999) HD/VU $4
Mummy (2017) 4K/MA or IT $4.5
Muppets Most Wanted HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Murder on Orient Express HD/MA $3.5
My All American HD/MA or IT $3.5
Nebraska HD/VU $3
Nerve HD/IT $3.5
NeverEnding Story HD/MA $4
New Mutants HD/GP $3
News of World 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
Night at Museum Secret of Tomb HD/MA $3
Nightmare Alley 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/GP $3.5
Nightmare Before Christmas HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
No Escape (2015) HD/VU $3
No Strings Attached HD/VU or IT $4
No Time to Die 4K/IT $4.5
Noah HD/VU or IT $2.5
Nobody's Fool HD/IT $2.5
Non-Stop HD/VU or IT $3
Norm of North HD/VU $2.5
Nostalgia (2018) HD/MA $3.5
Now You See Me 2 HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Now You See Me HD/VU or IT $2.5 or SD/VU $1
Nutcracker & Four Realms HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Oblivion 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Occupation (2018) HD/VU $3.5
Occupation Rainfall HD/VU $4
Office Christmas Party HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Olaf's Frozen Adventure HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
One Direction This is Us SD/MA $1.5
Ong Bak 2 HD/VU $3
Onward 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Other Woman HD/MA $3
Ouija HD/IT $3.5
Ouija Origin of Evil HD/VU or IT $3.5
Outlander Season 1 Vol 1 HD/VU $5.5
Overdrive HD/IT $2.5
Overlord 4K/IT $3.5
Oz Great & Powerful HD/GP $2.5
Paddington HD/VU $3.5
Pain & Gain HD/VU or IT $3.5
Paranormal Activity (Unrated) HD/VU or IT $4
Paranormal Activity 3 (Ext) HD/VU or IT $3
Paranormal Activity 4 HD/IT $2.5
Paranormal Activity Marked Ones HD/VU or IT $3.5
Passengers HD/MA $3
Patriot Games 4K/VU $5
Patriot's Day HD/VU $3
Peanuts Movie HD/MA $3
Penguins of Madagascar HD/MA $3.5
Perks of Being a Wallflower SD/VU or IT $1
Pet Sematary (2019) 4K/IT $3.5
Pete's Dragon (2016) HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Philomena HD/VU $2.5
Pinocchio (1940) HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Pirates of Caribbean 5 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Pitch Perfect 2 4K/MA $4 or HD/VU $2.5
Pitch Perfect 4K/IT $3
Pixar Short Films Collection Vol. 3 HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Planes Fire & Rescue HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Planes HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Playing w/ Fire HD/IT $2.5
Pocahontas HD/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $4
Point Break (2015) 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Poison Rose 4K/VU $4.5
Possession HD/VU or IT $2.5
Power Rangers (2017) 4K/VU or IT $4.5
Precious HD/VU $4.5
Predator (2018) HD/MA $3
Predator 4-Film Collection HD/MA $11
Premium Rush HD/MA $3.5
Pride & Prejudice & Zombies SD/MA $1.5
Primal HD/VU $3.5
Prodigy HD/VU $4
Project Almanac HD/IT $3.5
Prometheus HD/MA $2.5
Protector 2 SD/VU $1.5
Punisher 4K/VU $5.5
Punisher War Zone 4K/VU $5.5
Purge Anarchy HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Purge Election Year 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Purge HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Quarry 4K/VU $5
Queen & Slim HD/MA $4
Ralph Breaks Internet HD/GP $2
Rambo (2008) 4K/VU $5.5
Rambo 3 4K/VU $5.5
Rambo 5-Film Collection 4K/VU $23 or HD/VU $17
Rambo First Blood Pt 2 4K/VU $5.5
Rambo Last Blood 4K/VU $4.5
Rango HD/VU $3.5
Raya & Last Dragon HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Reclaim HD/VU $3.5
Red Dawn (2012) HD/VU or IT $3
Red Sparrow HD/MA $3.5
Replicant (2001) HD/VU $3.5
Replicas HD/VU $3.5
Requiem for a Dream (Director's Cut) 4K/VU $5.5
Resurrection of Gavin Stone HD/VU or IT $2.5
Revenant HD/MA $3.5
Riddick (Unrated) HD/VU or IT $3
Ride Along HD/VU or IT $2.5
Rings HD/VU or IT $2.5
Riot HD/VU or IT $3
RIPD HD/IT $2.5
Risen HD/MA $3
Robin Hood (1973) HD/MA $3.5 or HD/VU $3
Robocop (2014) HD/VU $2.5
Rocketman (2019) 4K/IT $4
Rogue One A Star Wars Story HD/GP $2
Ron's Gone Wrong HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Rough Night 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Runner Runner HD/MA $3.5
Rush HD/VU or IT $3
Safe HD/VU or IT $2.5
Saige Paints Sky HD/IT $3
Same Kind of Different as Me HD/VU or IT $3
Samson HD/MA $3.5
Santa Clause 2 HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Santa Clause 3 HD/MA $3
Santa Clause HD/MA $3.5
Santa Clause Trilogy HD/MA $9.5 or HD/GP $8
Savages HD/IT $3
Saving Mr. Banks HD/GP $3
Saw HD/VU $3
Scarface HD/VU $4
Scary Movie 5 HD/VU $4.5
Scary Stories to Tell in Dark 4K/VU $4.5
Schindler's List 4K/MA $5.5
Scouts Guide to Zombie Apocalypse HD/IT $3
Scream (1996) HD/VU $4
Scrooged HD/IT $4
Secret Life of Pets 4K/IT $4.5
Secret Life of Walter Mitty HD/MA $3
Selma HD/VU or IT $2.5
Shack HD/IT $2.5
Shallows HD/MA $3.5
Shang-Chi Legend of Ten Rings HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Shape of Water HD/MA $3.5
Sharp Objects HD/GP $2
Shaun Sheep Movie HD/VU $3
Sherlock Gnomes HD/VU or IT $2.5
She's Having a Baby HD/VU $3.5
Shivers HD/VU $4
Siberia (2020) HD/VU $4
Sicario HD/VU $2.5
Side Effects HD/IT $3.5
Sing (2016) 4K/IT $4
Singing in Rain 4K/MA $5.5
Sinister HD/IT $2.5
Sisters (Unrated) HD/IT $2.5
Skyfall HD/VU $2.5
Skyscraper HD/MA $3.5
Sleeping Beauty (1959) HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Sleepless HD/IT $2
Snatched HD/MA $2
Snitch HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3 or SD/VU or IT $1.5
Snow White & Huntsman (Ext Edition) 4K/VU or IT $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Snow White & Seven Dwarfs (1937) HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Solo A Star Wars Story HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Some Kind of Wonderful HD/VU $3.5
Songbird 4K/IT $4.5
Sonic Hedgehog 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Soul HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Southpaw HD/VU $3
Southside w/ You HD/VU $4.5
Spider-Man 4-Cut Set (Spider-Man 2 w/ Thea & Ext) HD/MA $11.5
Spider-Man 5-Cut Set (Spider-Man 2 & 3 w/ Thea & Ext) HD/MA $14.5
Spider-Man Far From Home HD/MA $3.5
Spider-Man Homecoming HD/MA $3
Spider-Man Homecoming/Far From Home Bundle HD/MA $6
Spies in Disguise 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Spiral (2021) 4K/VU or IT $4.5
Split 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Spongebob Sponge out of Water HD/IT $2.5
Spy (Unrated) HD/MA $3.5
Spy Who Dumped Me 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
St. Vincent HD/VU $3
Stand Up Guys HD/VU $3.5
Star SD/MA $1.5
Star Trek (2009) HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Star Trek 1-4 4K/VU $18
Star Trek Beyond HD/VU $3
Star Trek Into Darkness HD/VU $2.5
Star Wars Force Awakens HD/GP $1.5
Star Wars Last Jedi 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Star Wars Rise of Skywalker 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Step Up Revolution HD/IT $3
Straight Outta Compton (Thea & Unrated) 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Suburbicon HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Suits Season 2 HD/IT $3.5
Sum of All Fears 4K/VU $5.5
Sundown Vampire in Retreat HD/VU $3.5
Super 8 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Super Buddies HD/GP $2
Sword in Stone HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Ted (Unrated) HD/IT $3
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) HD/VU $2.5
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Out of Shadows HD/VU $3.5
Terminator 2 Judgment Day (Ext) HD/VU $4.5
Terminator 2 Judgment Day 4K/VU $5
Terminator Dark Fate HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Terminator Genisys HD/VU $2.5
That Awkward Moment SD/MA $1.5
This is 40 HD/MA $3.5
Thor Dark World HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Thor HD/GP $3.5 or SD/IT $1.5
Thor Ragnarok HD/GP $2
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri HD/MA $3.5
Top Gun (1986) 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Total Recall (1990) 4K/VU $5
Toy Story 4 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Toy Story HD/GP $3.5
Toy Story of Terror HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Transformers Last Knight HD/VU $2.5
Transporter 3 SD/IT $1.5
Tremors A Cold Day In Hell HD/MA $2.5
Trolls HD/MA $2.5
Trumbo HD/IT $3.5
Trust HD/VU $4
Turbo HD/MA or IT $3
Turning HD/MA $4
Twilight Breaking Dawn 2 HD/VU $1.5 or 4K/IT $2 or SD/VU $0.5
Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas SD/VU $1.5
Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection SD/VU $1
Tyler Perry's Temptation HD/GP $3
Unbreakable HD/GP $3.5
Unbroken HD/VU or IT $3
Uncle Drew HD/VU $3.5
Underworld Awakening HD/MA $3
Untouchables 4K/VU $5
Valerian & City of a Thousand Planets HD/VU $3.5
Vampire Academy HD/VU $4
Van Helsing HD/MA $3.5
Vanishing (2018) HD/VU $4
Veep Season 6 HD/IT $3.5
Venom HD/MA $3.5
Victoria & Abdul HD/MA $4
Vivarium HD/VU $4
Voices (2014) HD/VU $4
Vow SD/MA $1.5
Walk HD/MA $3.5
War for Planet of Apes HD/MA $3
Warcraft HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Warm Bodies 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3 or SD/VU $1.5
Warrior 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Werewolf Beast Among Us (Unrated) HD/IT $3.5
West Side Story 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA 3.5 or HD/GP $3
What Men Want HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
What to Expect When You're Expecting SD/IT $1.5
When Game Stands Tall HD/MA $3 or SD/MA $1.5
Whisky Tango Foxtrot HD/IT $3
Why Him? HD/MA $3
Widows HD/MA $3.5
Wild Card HD/VU $3
Wild HD/MA $3.5
Wilson HD/MA $3.5
Winchester HD/VU $3.5
Wolf of Wall Street HD/VU or IT $3.5
Wolverine (Unrated) (w/Thea) HD/MA $4
Wonder HD/VU $3
Wonder Park 4K/IT $2.5
Wonder Woman 1984 4K/MA $5.5
Woodlawn HD/IT $3.5
World War Z HD/VU or IT $2.5
Wraith HD/VU $4
X-Men Apocalypse HD/MA $3
X-Men Days of Future Past HD/MA $3
XXX Return of Xander Cage HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
You Were Never Really Here HD/VU $4
You're Next HD/VU $3.5
Z for Zachariah HD/VU $4
Zeros & Ones HD/VU $4.5
Zootopia HD/GP $2.5
submitted by nahimavegan to DigitalCodeSELL [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 04:02 ExtensionImmediate New Routine

New Routine
(M 22) I have acne prone oily skin and I’ve been using the same routine for a long time, but I’m ready to shake it up and try some new things BUT I need some help so I’m gonna fire away some questions :)
I’ve found that foaming cleansers work best for me, and I’m considering switching to LRP foaming cleanser considering all the good reviews I see it get on here.
Once a week I use the ExfoliKate intensive exfoliating cleanser as well and i love how tight it makes my skin feel and it minimizes my pores. Is it ok to use 2/3 times a week?
Lately I have been breaking out on my jaw where I shave and I think exfoliating more often would help. I use a new razor every time I shave so that’s not the issue. Also, I’m tempted to steam my face before exfoliating but I wanted some opinions first, my skin can tolerate a lot but im not sure if that would be too harsh. thoughts?
I plan on buying a toner and adding it to my morning and nighttime routine to help control my oil secretion as well.
Is this sunscreen bad for me since I have oily skin?
I don’t use any serums or oils because the PM cream I use is so strong and I’m scared to mix it with a serum that causes a reaction. Should I use this PM cream every night? It doesn’t dry my skin and I’ve found it to help with my hyperpigmentation. If I shouldn’t use it every day, what serums or creams should I use the nights I don’t use it? Preferably something for lines and pigmentation and general aging.
AND any advice for scarring?
Lastly what are your thoughts on icing every morning to reduce redness and inflammation?
Thank y’all
submitted by ExtensionImmediate to Skincare_Addiction [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 03:33 DelbertCornstubble Why does this Charlie's Angels collectable exist?

Why does this Charlie's Angels collectable exist?

Why this car?
I found this in a Target toy section. I'm not a connoisseur of collectables but this caught my eye.
This is a 1974 Ford Torino Brougham, a poop-brown fleet sedan designed in the aesthetic nadir of 1973. Perfect as a company car for a nursing home inspector, the real McCoy probably smelled like Virginia Slims and McDonalds fries cooked the Old Way. Not a sports car, not the 'Gran' Torino of Starsky and Hutch with beefy haunches and 5-slot aluminum rims. This is a plainer-than-vanilla vehicle where every extant example should now be rusting in the middle of a forty-year-old crushed cube. Why are we resurrecting it now?
But wait. Was this car driven by Bosley or the Angels? Maybe Farrah's feathered hair flowing through the open window sold the car? Ah-- 'Corinthian Leather' came out with the 1974 Chrysler Imperial LeBaron. Was this a direct competitor sporting Ford's own leather knockoff? Maybe 'Athenian Leather' product placement? So...after I Googled and Binged, even using ChatGPT, I have no idea why this replica was greenlighted.
It turns out this car wasn't driven by any significant or recurring character. It appears in exactly one episode, s1e22, and was a generic police detective's sedan driven by a dirty lieutenant on the vice squad played by Ed Lauter, who got gut-shot at the climax never to be seen again. The car is shown for about a minute of the episode over a few scenes, does not get in any car chase, and does not figure into the plot in any way.
The car's only importance is cradling Kate Jackson's behind in the passenger seat for most of its single minute of airtime in a single episode. That's it. But why actually commission a 1/64 scale replica of this homely car surrounding said behind? And for distribution in the Target toy department next to the Hot Wheels loop-de-loops? So many questions.
What is the minimum number of units a Target retail corporate purchaser normally acquires? What is the sales demographic for this product other than the utterly confused, except for a few eBay sellers who figure that if a thing has no reason to exist, maybe it's worth double? It's not like a coin's mint error or a misprinted postage stamp, it's a whole object! The whole object should not exist in a rational universe.
There’s a site that catalogues movie cars. Here's the car in question, and all cars shown in the whole series. Note that this car isn't even linked to Charlie's Angel's in the above database. So of all the cars in Charlie’s Angels, who greenlighted this replica? Did the company cast lots? Roll dice? Go on a peyote-fueled vision quest? Who is the employee that said, “Alfa Romeo Spider, no… Datsun 280z, no… DANG, I’m gonna model the hell outta that brown 1974 Ford Torino Brougham!”
I can't figure it out. Who was proud of shrinking and emulating this automotive and television non-entity? Whose business acumen approved a product with a niche thinner than the paper in a pocket New Testament?
The back blurb makes it even better:
"A Graduate of the Los Angeles Police Academy, Foxy Jill is a carefree and fun-loving California girl with a great flair for beguiling any male she encounters. She's sporty and athletic, and even goes on to become a champion race car driver."
Oh, it’s for Foxy Jill played by Farrah herself, but not the Angel who actually sat in the car. Foxy Jill beguiles any male she encounters. I thought it was via her swimsuit poster, but no, she cruises for males of the species in her hideous sedan. A sedan she never drove in the show.
Jill is sporty and athletic. The exact opposite of the packaged car. Maybe the car started out as a Ford GT40 and Jill used vampiric powers to suck out all the sportiness and athleticism and we’re left with the shriveled husk of the Ford Torino Brougham.
And finally Foxy Jill goes on to become a champion race car driver. Practicing in this car, that she never drove during that single minute of that single episode.
The whole backstory in the blurb for this product is a complete invention and therefore they could pick any one of the myriad of sport cars featured in the show. But no, we must decorate our shelves with the poop-brown 1974 Ford Torino Brougham driven by a one-episode bad guy of the week who was never seen again. They could at least put Ed Lauter's face on the box.
I mean.. imagine if a company that makes 1/64 replica cars decided to license Batman from DC, and instead of the Batmobile, commissioned a replica of Bruce Wayne's country club golf cart. That's what this is.
Someone please tell me why this collectable exists.
submitted by DelbertCornstubble to collectables [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 03:15 KamchatkasRevenge Out of Cruel Space Side Story: Of Dog, Volpir, and Man - Ch 219

Tyler
Cassie had taken over the discussion from there on, entering the formal interview stage of the chat with Miu'Kin, as was her right as first wife. She was the arbiter in the end, and she had a veto that Miu'Kin needed to clear before she could get the thumbs up or down from Tyler to formally join the marriage. Cassie didn't give the other woman any slack either, she might not be a warrior, but a mother needed her own kind of spine, and even with Nara on hand, Cassie wanted to make sure the children were safe with Miu'Kin as a guardian too.
"What would you do if there was a threat to the children while the rest of us are away Miu'Kin?" Cassie asks, close to the end of her intended questions.
None of them had expected Miu'Kin's eyes to blaze.
"A threat? To the children! What kind? I might not be a battle princess but by the goddess's shell I won't-" Miu'Kin stops, a small jet of flame coming from her nostrils. "Err.. I uhm. I'm sorry. I get... passionate about protecting those who can't protect themselves. My first year working in a daycare, someone who claimed to be an Orega Girl tried to kidnap one of my charges, a sweet little boy... I uh. Killed her with my bare hands. I don't remember it. I saw red, forced her outside, sealed the nursery and triggered an alarm and then proceeded to beat her into a paste. I don't remember any of it, but I uh... apparently finished her off beating her with her own arm after ripping it off. No one's ever threatened the children of that nursery again and I haven't worked there in over a decade."
Matroika leans in. "...I want to call bullshit so badly, but you're such a sweetheart I actually believe you."
"It was in the news a whole bunch. My name was redacted because of the possible organized crime angle, to try to prevent retaliation, but you should be able to search Heart Shell Nursery kidnapping attempt or something similar and it'll pop up."
"I'm on it girls."
Tyler pulls out his communicator and does a little search, and sure enough, exactly as Miu'Kin had described it. He quickly passes his communicator around, letting the girls all look for themselves.
"Well I'll be damned!" Matroika looks up from Tyler's communicator, clearly reassessing the other woman. "For such a demure gal, seems like you can bring that Apuk fire when it counts. She's got my vote girls. Seems like a perfect fit to me!"
Cassie coughs delicately into her hand. "I didn't realize we were at the voting stage yet, but I suppose we can have the discussion now."
Miu'Kin moves to stand. "Would you like me to wait outside the privacy field?"
Cassie shakes her head and motions her to sit down. "No, unless one of the others would like to you, I don't think that's necessary. Nara?"
Nara makes a show of considering things for a few moments. "I say yes to welcoming Miu'Kin as our new sister."
Cassie looks to Elyria. "What about you Elyria?"
"I say yes! Miu'Kin's a sweetheart and she can protect the children with all that Apuk ferocity where it counts? Sounds perfect for us." Elyria beams over at the other woman.
Cassie nods. "Well I see no reason to dissent from my sisters, I say yes. I think Miu'Kin will be a fine addition to our family. Tyler?"
All eyes now focus on Tyler who strokes his chin for a moment before smiling over at the lovely redhead, putting a shiver down her spine.
"I don't see why not. Miu'Kin, would you do me the honor of marrying me?"
To her credit, Miu'Kin, clearly a bit over stimulated, manages to squeak out a "Yes!" before she passes out, thankfully being caught by Matroika before she can hit the table.
"Heh, guess she got a little overexcited, not that I can blame her, getting to marry our hubby should be exciting!"
Caring Conquests apparently had people pass out frequently enough that a nurse was kept on staff, and Miu'Kin's back on her feet before too long, the shy beauty boldly taking Tyler's hand and nearly passing out again as the Sarkins head down to Caring Conquests' legal office and sit through another intense round of paperwork. True to Bey'Tor's word, the second round of Miu'Kin's fees for the matchmaking service are waived, and in what felt like no time at all, the Sarkins, plus one redhead, are standing on the sidewalk in the warm sunshine of a late morning on Serbow.
Tyler stretches before taking Miu'Kin's hand again. He'd decided that since it was theoretically her wedding day, he'd be giving her some special attention above and beyond what he tried to normally give his wives. They'd do a ceremony with the skipper back on the Tear of course, but for now... he gives Miu'Kin's hand a squeeze, savoring the warmth radiating from her as she looks over at him with a shy smile, clearly doing her best to suppress just how giddy she is about the whole thing.
"So Miu'Kin, since you're local to the capital, care to give us the tour?"
"I... I can do that! Yes! I'd love to! Anywhere in particular that any of you would like to go?"
Tyler pulls his communicator out. "Well we have a list we can go through and you can tell us what you-"
"Hey sir!"
Tyler looks up at a distinctly male voice calling out to him and finds a small group of Marines and sailors, many of them with their spouses, disembarking off an airbus. The man who'd called out to him, one of the senior petty officers from the squadron, races up and visibly resists saluting Tyler since they're out of uniform for once.
"What's up Petty Officer Tywin? Seems like quite a crowd."
Petty Officer First Class Scott Tywin nods. "Some of it's intentional, some of it's happenstance... this ad for this matchmaking service got sent out across the comm net an hour ago and a lot of us had been talking about adding Apuk gals to the family... hard to beat Caring Conquest's reputation from checking their reviews, a discount's just icing on the cake. We're also here to support Mark."
Tywin points to a man that Tyler recognizes as Mark "Tiger" Ayako, a Marine NCO and naval aircrewman.
"Oh? What's going on with Staff Sergeant Ayako?"
Tywin grins just as wide as he can. "Mark fell in love with the Apuk at first sight. Hell, at first description. Then he did some research and that was it. So we're something of a bachelor party and escort to make some Apuk girls extremely happy today. Not sure if they can shake out a battle princess from this joint, but I'm sure Mark would make any Apuk gal they match him with feel like a queen regardless."
"Hah." Tyler can't hold the laugh back. "How many girls is he intending to marry?"
"As many matches as come back good really. Plus one or two. There's a couple gals back on the Tear waiting for the Apuk to soften Mark up a bit before making their move themselves. So what brings you out here si- Oh."
Tywin looks twice at Miu'Kin and realizes it's not Nara or one of the other Sarkin girls.
"I take it you're a happy customer sir?"
"Something like that Tywin. This is Miu'Kin, my new wife."
Tywin nods cordially to Miu'Kin. "Pleasure to meet you ma'am, and congratulations to both of you on your wedding."
Miu'Kin bows her head slightly to Tywin, but keeps her peace, trying to hide a sudden bout of shyness beneath demure good manners, something Tyler suspects is part of her normal coping strategies.
Tywin looks over his shoulder at the group heading towards Caring Conquests, there was a small group of women lagging behind who were clearly Tywin’s own wives.
"Alright, gotta get back to the family! Enjoy the rest of your day boss!"
And in a flash the last of the small mob of Marines and sailors are inside as Tyler grins like a maniac.
"Hell just off that crowd I bet I'm going to get a very happy text from Bey'Tor. Seems like you're not the only happy blushing bride in the Capital city today Miu'Kin... and seems like the Tear is going to be getting a strong Apuk expat population."
Cassie chuckles into her wing. "At the rate things are going, Apuk might even equal or out number the Horchka. An interesting development for sure. Now... where should we be off to? Perhaps we could do a little shopping as well, to help Miu'Kin prepare for her move up to the Tear?"
Miu'Kin nods eagerly. "Oh that would be really lovely of you! I would quite enjoy company as I shop... and I must say I've ah. Never been to space before. Never mind made an extended trip to deep space or anything like that. So any of your experience you'd be willing to share with me, I'd greatly appreciate it."
"Of course, that's what family's for!" Cassie answers for the group, flexing her wings a bit and letting herself stretch, unintentionally emphasizing her gravid stomach... which lets loose a growl worthy of a grizzly bear. A blushing Cassie rests a hand on her stomach. "Oh dear. Seems I'm a bit peckish. Please excuse me."
Tyler shakes his head. "We haven't eaten anything but some snacks since this morning and you're eating for three dear, maybe we should all get some lunch. Miu'Kin? Care to recommend a local place?"
"Of course! One of my favorite places is actually nearby!"
Miu'Kin happily trots along, hand in hand with Tyler, and eventually points over at a building in the distance.
"That's the place!"
"Huh!" Tyler peers a bit closer with an axiom boost to his vision. "Well I'll be damned, looks like a tavern straight out of a roleplaying game mixed with a greasy spoon diner from back home. I love the look, the Apuk really nail some aesthetics that really appeal to me. That said... I can't read Cindertongue, Miu'Kin, what's the name of this place?"
"Oh! Sorry! It's 'Flame Charred With Love: Apuk Family Style Dining'!"
That got everyone's attention.
Cassie's wings ruffle just a bit. "Apuk family style cuisine? Ooh! That sounds lovely. As a fellow carnivore I know I enjoy Apuk food."
"Hell I'm down for any kind of home cooking. Nara says she isn't much of a cook but I've devoured every Apuk dish she's made me." Tyler notes, remembering some excellent meals.
"Bit rich for us omnivores sometimes, but I suppose that's what making a salad back in orbit is for." Matroika chuckles.
"Four carnivores in the family does make life hard when you like vegetables as more than a garnish, you're not wrong, darling."
Miu'Kin nods. "Well I'm a pretty good cook! I even know how to cook with vegetables. Just give me your favorite recipes! Between Nara and I we'll keep everyone fed! I think you'll like this place though, it's Apuk home cooking just like Mama..."
Miu'Kin freezes dead in her tracks as she reaches for the door.
"...Oh no."
"What's wrong, honey?"
The term of endearment melts Miu'Kin just a bit as she tries to compose herself.
"I eat here so often that I kinda spaced why I eat here. My uh. My mother owns this place, she's usually on shift. Some of my sisters and other mothers work here too, you could call it a family business. Working at the diner as a waitress was my first job."
Tyler shrugs. "So? This is good, I was hoping to get a chance to meet your mother at least before we left the planet."
"Sure, but I just... it. Okay. If you're sure. It can. Family."
Miu'Kin looks into Tyler's eyes, and finding only reassurance and a smile there, takes a second to steel herself and pushes through the heavy wooden door to the jingle of a bell.
"Come on in folks, we got a table ready just for you!"
An older Apuk woman with silver in her red hair and smile lines carved into her caramel skin calls out from where she's tending a spit in the middle of the mostly open kitchen, a smile on her face big enough that you could probably see it from orbit if she went outside. Then she actually looks to see who had just come through her door.
"Oh! Hey sweetie! Who are your fri-" The woman, Miu'Kin's mother it seemed, eyes actually focus on Tyler properly now, and drop down to where Miu'Kin's still firmly holding Tyler's hand. "-riends?"
Miu'Kin swallows loudly. "Uhm, Mom. This is my new husband, Tyler, and his other wives."
For a second. One brief second. Every noise in the restaurant ceased.
The live fish in the tank, clearly marked as food, stopped moving.
A waitress nearly dropped a plate.
Diners looked up from the booths.
Deeper in the kitchen, a few other older Apuk women, presumably sister wives or sisters of Miu'Kin's mother, all stick their heads out to see what in the shell is happening.
Then all hell breaks loose in the way only a family with up to a hundred odd mothers-in-law can.
First Last
submitted by KamchatkasRevenge to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 02:58 I_am_Fang_Yuan_ The Ending of Reverend insanity

After achieving Eternal life, Fang yuan through hundreds of thousands of years and experimentation on chaos dao marks finally comprehends and understands Dao marks completely, having refined the entire Gu world and having complete control over all Rank 9 Gu’s and every single gu worm below that rank
Fang yuan through all his research comes to a Shocking realisation, Fang yuan had already hypothesised that everything Had the same Origin but to think that Not only did everything have the same Origin, they even shared a common Essence that is the core of all their existence and through which they are all wholly pervaded, Fang yuan stood surprised at that
Through his Absolute Supreme grandmaster attainment in Refinement path, Heaven path and Chaos path which he had fully advanced to the absolute Peak 100 million years ago and fully in all the various paths
Through the vicissitudes of his millenias long rein and supreme Courage and indifference, Fang yuan made the most Unbelievable decision ever made since the creation of the Gu world and the Entirety of Existence
Fand yuan resolutely Decided to Completely Reverse Refine the Entire Gu World and all the Universes, All Paths dao marks, Chaos dao marks and Heaven dao marks into their Absolute Original Essence beyond Space and Time and the existence of any Law, to fully annihilate all the various dimensions of Existence and Find the Absolute Source of All
Fang yuan had firmly realised that the World followed and emanated under the Clause of Dependent origination, There can be no Heaven path dao mark without Chaos dao mark, all opposites mutually arise
Fang yuan pierces further into the Truth of Reality that There is No Existence without Non-existence, no existence without non-existence existing with it at the same time, a supreme paradox
although Fang yuan Had Eternal life, although able to alter Space and time, he still lived in them and thus was still limited
To Reverse refine and attain the Absolute Most Quintessential Elemental Origin would mean to Transcend both Existence and Non-existence, to go beyond Being and non-being
a Jump into the Absolute Void, Facing Infinity itself head on
This also meant that Fang yuan will have to Transcend his bodily/soul existence, but not only that!
Through a Supreme Absolute formation of Refinement path combined with Heaven path, Human path, Chaos path, Space path, Time path, Rule path, Law path, Luck path, Qi path, Dark path, Soul path and all the various paths and even food path
An Absolute immortal Gu House containing all possible combinations of all paths and dao marks that can be activated All at once and instantly
this Absolute Killer move that will be the End to All, The Paradox to end all paradoxes
this Absolute Killer move to which Existence itself will shiver before
Fang yuan’s focus was to consume Space, time, Existence, non-existence and all the Infinite Dao marks that have ever existed all over all the Infinity of Universes that have ever existed since the absolute beginning of All Existence
It took Fang yuan 300 million years, Ressources from all the Universes, Dao marks of Heaven path combined with Space path, Time path, Rule path, Law path, Luck path, Qi path, Dark path and his absolute Supremacy in Refinement path, Heaven path, Human path, Soul path and Chaos path All combined to construct the Supreme Eternal Reverse Refinement Gu house to achieve this plan
But not only that, Fang yuan wasn’t foolish and had already simulated that the chances of failing were quite high
But a little insight completely transformed his vision, it was the Spring Autumn cicada!
Fang yuan thought : “What if I merged this Absolute immortal Reverse Refinement Gu house and used it simultaneously with The Rank 10 Spring Autumn cicada as a Parallel immortal move, Reverse Refining All the Dao marks in Existence, Reverse refining even Chaos itself, while at the same time Returning with it to THE ABSOLUTE BEGINNING OF ALL TIME AND SPACE
The Spring autumn cicada which was at the Absolute Peak of Rank 9 before, After being refined to rank 9, then to the middle of rank 9 and after hundreds of thousands of years into the Absolute Peak of rank 9 than later millions of years being refined to rank 10 using Time path, Heaven path, Chaos path and Refinement path all of which were at the Absolute supreme grandmaster
Indeed, Fang yuan’s Eternal invicibility and Longevity made him able to Travel throughout all time and retain his invicibility, Gu worms, Fang yuan’s modified Absolute rank 9 could already transport the entire body, soul, attainment and fang yuan could even move in the turbulent time river like a breeze and did so for millions years
But there was still a Huge limitation, Fang yuan despite being able to go trillion of years in the past or future or observe all Universes, was Never able to the Return to BEFORE TIME since the River of Time only Contained time and before it the river did not exist, even after a hundred millions years searching in the River of time and throughout all Time and Space in all different Universes, fang yuan still couldn’t break through
But upon looking at one of the Gu worms in his Sovereign aperture, a huge smile flashed on his face
To the Gu world, Fang yuan was not just a Monster but a complete Sovereign God, with Supreme Authority, it was still in Video format spread all around All the gu world, Fang yuan defeating the Entirety of the 10 Revived Venerables and the new venerable along with Heaven’s will and chaos hundreds of millions of years ago, its still Rings in the entirety of the Gu world as the Absolute Peak, the One without second, The End of the end of the beginning, the Peak any human has ever reached.
Indeed, Heaven’s will had unknowingly somehow merged with Chaos, it seemed even chaos was conscious
Chaos had Merged with Heaven’s will, Fang yuan at the time was absolutely abhorred and strangely filled with pure excitement mixed with fear for the first time, since it was the most unexpected Destiny song of Feng jiu gu that reunited the Complete opposites, heaven and chaos into One!
A Complete turn of the tables since Fang yuan had already killed all venerables before and had advanced to the Absolute peak of rank 9
Feng jiu gu shielded and living in Chaos and Heaven’s will with destiny song was able to produce a move to revive venerables and another Terrifying killer move, Heavenly Chaos destiny killer killer move, the move itself was still firmly in Rank 9 with only Rank 9 gu’s, but it was near the border between rank 9 and rank 10, made from heaven path, sound path, human path, chaos path and Destiny path, this killer move was specifically designed to work only on Venerables, indeed it is ineffective even to rank 1 gu masters yet could Kill Venerables
Such is the mystery of the Gu world
All the venerables revived and strengthened, Chaos, heaven’s will, all with Feng jiu ge at the Lead All against Fang yuan in the Most climactic battle ever, Fang yuan against the Entire world
Feng jiu ge alone could stand near him and defeat him
Feng jiu ge thought he could kill fang yuan, and he absolutely was about to until a slight smile appeared on fang yuan’s face
*BOOM*
In a flash, with fang yuan as the center a Huge Unfathomable Explosion of Inertia and Hot air Spread, it pushed everyone and everything, causing cracks in time and space and even nearly destroying the entire Gu world!
Feng jiu ge stood up only to Witness what no one has ever expected
A Rank 10 Being stood in front of Feng jiu ge
Multicoloured dao marks rippled all over his body, runes of rainbow like light shining all over Fang yuan’s strong body which would switch between all colours, Fang yuan stood midair, unmoved, untouched, undisturbed and expressionless
All these memories flashed in Fang yuan’s mind for a moment, hundreds of millions of years have passed since then, he was so hot-headed when he was in his youth due to being in constant mortal danger,
Looking at that Gu, a slight smile flashed on fang yuan’s lips
What Gu was that could bring such memories back even hundreds of millions of years later?
What could it be But the Rank 10 Destiny Gu!
The Rank 10 Destiny gu, the Rank 10 Spring autumn cicada, the Rank 10 Derivation Gu, Rank 10 Wisdom Gu, Rank 10 Self Gu, Rank 9 Advance refinement, Rank 9 Love Gu, Reconstructed and advanced Rank 9 Fate gu…
5 Rank 10 Gu and hundreds of rank 9 gu all used
The time had come indeed! Transcending Existence and Non-Existence, After this absorption of all the Dao marks and returning to the Absolute Quintessential Elemental Origin, his Ultimate goal will be achieved
Everything ends Here.
Fang yuan will become the Only Existence! The Only Being! Space and time, All existence will be devoured, the universes, all beings, Everything will be absorbed and Reverse refined to its Smallest Subtlest Absolutest!
Nothing will ever exist ever again Except Fang yuan for all Eternity
Fang yuan will usurp Existence itself! Hold the True Jewel for himself alone!
Only Fang yuan will remain!
But What is Fang yuan? Its just an identity, thoughts, a story
to Conquer infinity, identity itself must be thrown away
Now Fang yuan has no-name, no identity, that’s the price to become God
Fang Yuan activates the Gu house
The Entire Spaceless Formation which encompasses all Space in the gu world and all Universes Bursts forth!
The Entirety of All Dao marks for the first time since the Beginning of Time Synchronize! and are tuned into the same Mode of Existence!
The Entire Killer move with Fang yuan at its center Exploded forward in a Cataclysm of a Spaceless Timeless Immortal Energy!
Exactly 2.54 nanoseconds later, Fang yuan began to phase forward through time and space as he Meshed with the Dao Continuum, As Fang yuan began to absorb All that exists!
The Dao marks in All Existence and even the Void itself started to be Reverse refined! from the trillions of billions of paths! some started to merge, weapon path with sword path, water path and ice path, fire path and smoke path…
The entirely of the Endless diversity was being reverse refined and merging all by Fang Yuan’s will.
At some point a part of the heaven path, earth path and human path dao marks merged which gave Destiny dao marks! time path and space path merge into Space-time path! Rule path and law path merged as well into Rules and regulations path...
At a Crucial Point All Dao Marks Return to a SINGLE POINT.
This would be Impossible! If there is no space, how can one live? Fang yuan had planned all, an isolated black space with small little stars was isolated still existed but outside this, All Space-time everywhere else had vanished, Space Ceased to Exist! even Chaos has ceased to be!
This cannot be understood by a human mind, its Not empty space! the empty space itself no longer exists!
Void of Void!
no analogy or explanation is possible
The Entirety of the All, the centrillion universes and the infinite expansion of trillions of Dao marks throughout all time had ALL BEEN MADE TO MERGE INTO ONE !
The Entire Gu world was Annihilated and completely Absorbed by Fang yuan!
You would think it would be Destiny dao marks or perhaps rules and regulations that remains or heaven path?
What remained ?
“Dao”
Or more closely known as Existence Dao Marks
Only “No-thing” remained
These dao marks were literally outside time and space yet were time and space at the same time, these dao marks were beyond heaven path and chaos path yet were them, these dao marks cannot be even be called dao “marks” since they are the Dao itself, not a mark of It!
It seemed to even say that Existence dao marks divide into space-time dao marks and other paths
But Knowing the Clause of Mutual arising, there can be No Existence without Non-existence, then where is this Non-existence
Only when Fang yuan finished absorbing all Existence and “Dao” Dao marks did he know with absolute certainty that Non-existence IS IN Existence!
They are the Exact Same and In each other, yet at the same time completely different!
This was the True Paradox behind Everything that has ever happened since Before Time
This was “Dao”
But How did Fang yuan know this or feel it? Did the Dao marks merge to become an Object or an image?
The Exact opposite, All Fang Yuan after absorbing all dao marks in existence was a SUPREME PRESENCE
Something Invisible was “Here”
Fang yuan felt an Unbelievable Presence!! This invisible thing seemed to Encompass both Existence and Non-existence!!
But for some reason even Being Rank 10 was not enough to Know this Presence!!
Only by Reverse Refining all dao marks of All Existence into the primordial original essence and absorbing it can one KNOW IT!
Fang yuan felt that this Presence was very subtle yet at the same time Vaster, Way Vaster, Way Way Vaster than the Entire Expanse of Universes or Space-time or even Existence itself!
Fang yuan felt such a POWER, an INVINCIBLE Source with No Bottom, Even fang yuan felt chills down his spine, how can something be THIS VAST, THIS ENDLESS?! THIS INFINITE EXIST?! IMPOSSIBLE!
The more Fang yuan delved in, the more he Came back Shocked!
The Source or for a better word God was actually BEFORE AND BEYOND Space-Time, without Beginning, Ever-fresh and Not Subject to Any Change!
Fang yuan despite being Rank 10 felt that he was but a microcosm in front of this Limitlesness!!
despite all the chills running down his spine, a huge brimming smile appeared on his face
A Deep realisation hit fang yuan’s to his Absolute Core, THIS WAS THE GOAL ALL ALONG!
It was Not Existence nor Eternal Life nor exciting fights nor Exploration, IT WAS BEING ABSOLUTE! INFINITE AND FREE!
Fang yuan began to penetrate more into this Energy, Presence, Being
Suddenly, a huge brimming smile plastered on his face, he even cracked into Crazy Laughter, he seemed Devilish! If one saw him, he would think this Devil is about To Commit the Most Unforgivable Crime in all Existence!
His laughter did not stop, it only became stronger, he seemed like a madman
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Why would one laugh this crazily?
Fang yuan had realised, Dao/God is impersonal! meaning he has no sense of self, it only exists without volition, to the Supreme Dao, it never perceived there were universes, these only appeared in it and suddenly fragments of Dao/God got stuck in bodies with other fragments turning into time, space and spliting into infinite diversity of paths and beings
But they were all originally One!
But what does this even matter to Fang yuan?
It was impersonal! Without volition, the ENTIRE DAO/GOD CAN BE USURPED!
Fang yuan can Absorb God since God had no volitions, he can completely conquer and become Him!
It was Finally here in front of him! Especially since Absorbing and assembling all the fragments into the Original indivisble “Dao”, he could feel a strong Link to this Source!
Immediately, with all the Rank 10 Absolute Immortal Killer Moves, fang yuan got to work, there always has been the Risk of losing his body, mind or soul but to one who has been shown Absolute Infinity in front of their eyes, these were trivialities
Time passed
A Lot of Time passed
A Hundred Trillion years later!
The Entire Space in the Remaining Space chamber seemed to start Clinking and cracking
*Clink* *Crack*
*Crack* *Crack*
Space directly shattered and broke like glass falling from a Mirror
*CRACK* *CLINK*
Time began to crack and Stop as well, inside the only remaining Space in All existence and non-existence
Time would stop, recontinue, stop, recontinue…
Space would crack, break like glass and remerge to being space again, it appeared something was about to happen
Floating in the middle of Black empty space, motionless, was a man in a meditative position
His eyes were shining with yellow white light that seemed to encompass Everything!
White rainbow runes were shining all over his body
In his yellow eye light, it seemed Everything existed yet nothing existed at all at the same time
Yet it was not clear wheter the man was alive or not
Indeed, in 100 trillion years, that body had not moved a militimeter, not even breathing
Yet it was this Man which was before but a microcosm in all of Existence, having lived through the vecissitudes of endless time had finally perhaps stepped Beyond time and space!
In the midst of clinking and cracking space
Suddenly! A slight movement happened
Indeed! finally 100 trillion years later
a pair of lips finally moved
A bright calm smile appeared and a voice echoed
“I am God, the Self of All. Of this there is no doubt.
My nature is boundless, changeless, indivisible like sky
Indeed, I am the pure unchanging essence of existence, free of form and death.
I am One with no other, the only Truth, the single essence.
I am Eternal, formless, solitary, Endless
Who is there to speak about and worship This?
I am more subtle than primordial substance,
more primal than elements, essences and compounds.
I am prior to notions of birth and death.
Indeed, when the universe is created, it is made out of me
I am still, undivided, indifferent.
I am the Supreme Reality, forever whole and undivided.
Before anything was, I Am. I never am not.
Indeed, the entire Universe exists only inside my own spaceless timeless Mind
I am Everything and Nothing
All existence and non-existence is only the seed of my own imagination
I have no mother, no father, no family, no caste nor was I ever born
I know nothing of birth and death.
How can I speak about beginning or end?
I am before and beyond such notions—
my nature is Absolute Freedom
I exist without evolution, I never began nor end
Being has no thoughts, no feelings, no knowledge, no knowing.
It both does and does not exist.
I am forever free and boundless, no beginning, no middle, no end.
I am Everything everywhere forever.
I am Nothing nowhere now.
I alone exist! Limitless, eternal, all-encompassing.
Truly, I alone exist, all-pervasive and never-ending.
I am eternal and omnipresent, undivided, all-pervasive,
and without any dimension whatsoever.
I am One. I am Absolute.
I am spotless and at peace—
All this life, I have been duped by illusion
By “this Light” alone the body and the universe appear
Having seen for certain that he Universe exists only inside my own spaceless timeless Mind
I am revealed as God, never have I been anything but God
The whole grand universes are nothing but my own imaginations
Knowing this, I am forevermore Eternal and Infinite
I am neither alive nor lifeless
I neither come nor go
I have no inside or outside
Not bound by birth or death, I light Eternity!
Not bound by time or space, I light Eternity!
Not bound by being or non-being, I light Eternity!
Not subject to creation or destruction, I light Eternity!
I alone exist! Limitless, eternal, all-encompassing.
Indeed, I am the Absolute, the One Reality.
To what should I offer my devotion?
I am the essence beyond space and time, existence and non-existence
I have no desires, I am All that Is – Forever free and boundless
I am the Supreme Being, formless, unbounded, limitless, Infinite, untouched by anything
Supremely pure and Free, absorbed in infinite Bliss
So do I recite this poem and abide in my Beauty Forevermore”
It is an Eternal Mystery wheter it was Fang yuan or God that spoke those words, perhaps both
Within the Only Reality, in the Timeless spaceless Mind of Fang yuan/God :
just as Fang yuan finished his poem, Immediately the entirety of remaining Space and time wrapped around his fingers in a black and white rotating ball, his supreme soul had already transcended being or non-being and existed nowhere spacelessly and timelessly
But since Fang yuan had absorbed all the “Dao” before Transcending, not much existence remained
One would think this would be the end
But the next moment
*snap*
fang yuan snapped his finger
INSTANTLY THE ENTIRETY OF THE GU WORLD was Timelessly CREATED with all Its Beings and Things in not even a Microsecond! not even that, It was created in No Time at all!
Trillions of beings emanated from Literally Pure Nothingness!!
...
Fang had Complete AWARENESS OF ALL EXISTENCE, Everything in the Gu World WAS HIM, he could effortlessly BE Everything.
This body was neither him nor not him, as he is the timeless Mind itself thus complete control over everything that exists effortlessly.
But Fang yuan had no need for such a thing so he Refocused his Endless infinite Attention on this specific mortal body
...
..
“Fang Yuan Hand over the Spring autumn cicada!”
“Fang Yuan you damn demon, just because you wanted to cultivate the Spring Autumn Cicada, you’ve gone and killed thousands of people. You’ve committed too many unforgivable, heinous sins!“
“Demon, 300 years ago you insulted me, took away my body’s purity, killed my entire family and executed my nine generations. From that moment onwards, I hated you with a burning passion! Today, I want you to die!”
Fang yuan had recreated the world without much thought but to think he would return to the day he was about to be killed a hundred trillion years before!
Fang yuan laughed "hahaha"
He could literally create a Rank 10 gu with a thought, he could Create the entire Gu World without effort, he could improve it, he could make it have RANK 100 if he wanted, he could as well COMPLETELY DESTROY IT with a Thought!
HE was truly Limitless as he is not the Body alone, its just that he focused his timeless’s mind attention on the body alone to be Fang yuan but he was beyond being just That!
He could recreate a rank 10 in no time but how boring would that be?
Thus he pretended to be killed and returned without even needing the spring autumn cicada in the river of time
Fang yuan was now back in time to the Gu yue village
A slight smile appeared
submitted by I_am_Fang_Yuan_ to IamFangyuan_ [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 02:54 Ralfop Cake Decor Piping Nozzle Set This icing tips set assured to plaster a smile on any baking lover’s face, whether it’s a birthday, housewarming, anniversary, or Mother’s Day present you’re looking for. Made of high-quality stainless steel, safe, and non-toxic. This tool set is also easy to clean, make

submitted by Ralfop to HANITSYPRODUCTS [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 02:38 Educational_Ice151 How checkpoints influence the likeness of a character Lora when the same settings are used

How checkpoints influence the likeness of a character Lora when the same settings are used submitted by Educational_Ice151 to aipromptprogramming [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 02:30 MrNRebel How's the first chapter of my book?

The Ephiri trees rustle in the breeze. As two boys fight, surrounded by onlookers, the clacking of their wooden swords fill the air. One of the twins was Ferrum, who was born blind and given prosthetic eyes to see. The other was Atrox, a boy quick to anger, and stronger than all the others their age. Ferrum stepped to the side of his brother's attack, using his momentum to trip him. Atrox fell to the ground, turning and staring at his brother with a competitive rage. His brother's eyes glowed with a mismatched colored glee.
“I believe I won, unless you would like to try again?”
Atrox grumbled as Ferrum offered his brother a hand up, he refused and as his brother turned to leave the arena, Atrox pounced. Having transformed into a wolf, onlookers gasped in surprise. Ferrum threw the wolf off his back, and he- accepting the challenge- turned to a wolf himself. The brothers circled the arena, snarling. Atrox covered in a thick black fur, and Ferrum covered in a dark reddish brown fur, both marked with a single silver streak. The brothers charged at each other, as they pounced to continue their fight, a man stepped between them and separated them. It was their trainer, a man named Fridur. Fridur was a tall, round man. The man was the town tinker, and the last man anyone expected to be a warrior or a trainer of warriors, or a father. The brothers returned to their human forms and stood before their teacher.
“Do either of you realize the danger you put everyone in? Not just yourselves, but the rest of the village!”
The brothers protested in return, “what do you mean? We were just having some fun!” Their teacher gave a large sigh, before leading the boys back home. That night the brothers and their teacher were sitting at the table in their longhouse, the warm light reflecting in Fridur's glasses, the boys quietly watching their teacher, mess with spare gears from various projects. “When I brought you two in, it was with hopes to keep you safe, revealing your curse makes that difficult;” the parent said. “It's getting late, and you both have duties for the festival tomorrow, we'll talk more tomorrow.” As the brothers went to their room, with more questions about how they were cursed, why their father made it seem like they were adopted, and what danger was after them.
As the boys began to rest, they could feel the cool breeze blow through their window, the dire wolves barking in the distance, the wravyns cawing in the trees. The smell of hel-flowers (a small flower characterized by petals that look kin to ice crystals), muspel-blooms (a flower that glows and flickers like a never ending flame), and gold berries fill the air from the nearby alchemist. The leaves of the Woodbine and Ootros trees gently rustle in the wind. The boys laid in their beds thinking of their questions. Fridur was a good man, and the whole village admired him; but everyone was curious, how a man who never had a spouse, suddenly had two baby boys. Now the village wondered where these cursed children, that they've cared for, for 12 years came from. Fridur knew who their real father was, he was content to hide it from his adopted children, just a little longer.
That extra time he wanted, was now quickly depleting. Fridur went to his room late that night, such concern that he felt, was only felt by those who knew they were now being watched. The tinker sat in the chair in his room, staring out the window. The man prayed to Eshe for the forgiveness of the boys, prayed for the protection of the village, and the boys, and prayed for protection from the father of the boys.
These prayers would be proven futile.
The dawn broke the shroud of night and the village began to wake from their tree huts, mound homes, and longhouses. The boys and Fridur went out into the golden morning. Ferrum grabbed his bow and knife, and headed towards the gate of the town, passing the market and the village circle. Atrox grabbed his axe and headed to gather wood for the festival, and Fridur's house. The tinker of the village went to his shop, creating toys for the village children, tools for trades folk, machines for all purposes on Ephiri, and wood carvings for the temples.
This village was named after High King Gulli. Gulli Whitemane was the last of the high kings before the Heretical Wars, and he was the first of the high kings, to be cursed with all that afflicted the leaders of the system. As high king, the guardians felt the blame rested on the position of high king the most, as he did not succeed in trying to stop the heresy of the mortals. The village of Gulli, ironically, became the most famous for tributes to Eshe, the festival became famous both on Ephiri and amongst the other planets. Eshe priests from all over would come and preach to the people, tell stories of the glory of the goddess, sing songs, and feast. An effigy of the heretical king would then be burnt, along with effigies of the leaders of each planet who rose against the gods in heresy.
The golden leaves lightly covered the ground as the smell of roasted cow and hog filled the air. Ferrum arrived back at the village gates with a sled full of rabbit and headed to the butcher with his game.
“Ah, the valiant hunter returns with plenty for all,” exclaimed the butcher. “Tell me, how do you catch so many?”
“I used the snare traps you gave me, do you think it's enough?” The boy asked the kind old man, who answered the question with a smile and a nod, before walking to the back to get to work.
Atrox brought his sled of wood and divided it between the stack of wood for the festival and the stack of wood behind Fridur's house. The effigy weavers look at the young dark haired boy with a shy gratitude, the village respected the boys, but after their sparing match the other day, the people were afraid of what this festival will bring. For years the festival had gone without problems, however, this was different, the twins, who had been in the village for over a decade showed that the village had been hiding those cursed for heresy. Now to us, the sins of the father should not be put upon the sons, however heresy is such a heinous sin in Vestige, and the curses of the bloodlines was seen as the passing of sins from parent to child. Those cursed by the gods served as an example of how powerful and truthful the gods are.
The sun began to set, the people gathered in the amphitheater of the village to celebrate the festival. The effigy weavers brought their works to the center of the stage. The priest from the Ephiri capital, Gullna Konan, took the stage to tell a story of Eshe. Atrox and Ferrum sat in the back of the amphitheater, the boys had sat through this festival every year, but never before did they feel so far from those they had known their entire lives. Fridur had not arrived at the festival, and it was about to be time for him to show off the idol of Eshe he spent the last year making. The youngest of the three village shamans, who was the same age as the boys, made her way to the twins. Climbing the steps in a fashion as to not distract the audience. Once she arrived at the twins, she asked them to find their adoptive father, so that the idol could be presented to the priest from the capital.
The boys agreed and got up to find Fridur, the twin full moons lit the night sky with just enough for Atrox to see, his brother having less struggles as his eyes could see in the dark with ease, and glowed softly their mismatched colors. No sounds were heard in the village besides the singing and stories from the amphitheater, the street braziers were dark, the ootros trees did not even rustle. The twins come upon the tinker shop, its lights on, the doors and windows shut, Ferrum and Atrox cautiously peer in through a crack in the shutters.
Between the small crack and the idols, it was hard to tell how many there was, was it three? Four? The brothers counted a total of five figures in their father's shop, four of which wore dark armor, with shinning gold accents, and a sigil of four colored orbs surrounding a central, glowing teal orb.
“Come now Fridur, let's get this over with so you can enjoy the festival,” one figure pleaded.
“I told you already, those boys are perfectly normal, I should know, they are my sons!” Replied a frustrated Fridur
The figure who had been speaking, paced the floor before walking to the window the boys had been peering through.
“We would like to meet your sons, is all. We've heard they are quite 'gifted' and think they'd be perfect to fight competitively.”
“Not on my life would I allow them to fight in his damned arena, you bloodthirsty Igniean,” silence fell over the room as the figure turned around walked back to the tinker, and grabbed him by the throat.
“You ignorant fool, we'll see your sons and judge for ourselves, Kanshu, take this man to the capital, to talk to Lord Mendax about his remarks.”
A taller, bulkier figure walks behind Fridur, tying his hands behind his back, while the two other sigil wearers drew symbols in the air forming a gateway and filling the air with a weird frequency. The tinker and Kanshu walked through the gateway with one of the gateway makers follows and closes the gateway behind them. The two figures left in the shop, started heading towards the door to find the boys. Ferrum and Atrox ran back to the festival yelling the entire way. The celebrators paused as they came running to the stage to tell the capital priest what had just happened. Celebrators listened in horror as they heard of the arrest of their tinker, the figures from the shop arrived at the amphitheater, seeing the twins and running down the stairs after them. The capital priest put himself in between the sigil wearers and the boys. The figures stopped, staring at the priest with their weapons drawn. The figure who had spoke in the shop, had dark hair with golden beads decorating the ends, grey eyes and soot covered skin. The gate maker wore a white veil with gold embroidery, and had the figure of a gentle mother, and the air of a sea's breeze.
“Who put you to this plan, arresting the father of these boys?” The priest asked.
“That is none of your business, priest. We came to meet those boys, and their 'father' got in the way. Now if you will stand aside, we have business to attend to.”
The priest stood firm, keeping the boys out of reach of the two individuals, determined to protect them in the name of Eshe. Silence befell the crowd as they watched, before a gasp of horror, as the ashen man struck down the priest with his sword. As the priest fell, Atrox transformed and pounced at the ashen man, and Ferrum grabbed the priest's dagger, charging at the woman. The crowd stood in shock as Ferrum slashed the veil off the woman leaving a cut across her face. She knocked the glowing eyed boy back as the ashen man gained hold of the boy turned wolf. The two looked at each other, looked at Ferrum, and disappeared through a gateway.
Atrox was gone. Ferrum was devastated, he had just lost his father and teacher, watched a priest get struck down at a holy festival, almost got kidnaped and lost his brother. For the first time in his life, his eyes shone the same color. Red. His anger and heartache combined and he transformed himself into a wolf, howling at the moon before darkness clouded his vison, and he collapsed before the crowd.
submitted by MrNRebel to fantasywriters [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:54 I_am_Fang_Yuan_ Fang yuan fights God for Eternal Life

In a small isolated space where everything and nothing existed at the same time
no dao marks existed in that space yet that space seemed to encompass all dao marks
Fang yuan enters through Chaos
For the very first time since the Creation of All Existence
A Man stepped where God resided
In a black space where no light existed
Fang yuan took step after step
Fang yuan was expressionless, unmoved, undisturbed
his eyes shined as he seemed he was about to end it all once and for all
God knew Fang yuan had come
Fang yuan walks most of the path, sounds of steps continue until both sound and silence disappear
At the end of the path, Fang yuan looks and finds a jester
a 20m tall jester floating in empty space in a meditative yet relaxed position
Fang yuan smiles "so it was you? I always knew it."
Indeed Fang yuan had met this jester when he was about to transmigrate into the gu world but was made to forget him
it was the jester that was responsible for his transmigration
this Joker had been the entity behind all existence
a slight smile appeared in the multicolored jester :
"Its been a while Fang yuan, I was expecting you"
"I was the one that created all the worlds, who created and nurtured you, shouldn't you bow down to me?"
Fang yuan smiles
"No you are not God, imposter, am I right?
I have already awakened millions of years ago so I know the Truth"
the joker smiled "indeed I am merely the manifested aspect of God"
"the Unmanifested aspect of the Supreme is the Original cause, the Unmanifested that lies beyond the senses, space and time is God tho God does not control the Universes nor creates them, I do, he does contain them
But I am God as well, only I control material existence, I remember mortals in your original world gave me a name"
Fang smiled "The Demiurge"
"Indeed, I am the Universal God and contain all the demi-gods and am the creator of creation but I was born and I emanated myself from the immutable Absolute : God"
"Fang yuan you yourself are but a Demi-god, what can you even do? all your gu do not work here, without gu what are you? what can you even do?
hmph hahahaha
you will die here today fang yuan hahaha
your journey end here hahaha"
The Jester moved in an insane burst of speed that Tore both Space and Time, Cracking them like Glass
in 2.547 nanoseconds the jester was in front of Fang yuan and steps on him!!
Immediately the jester kills him!
the Jester laughs at his corpse, puddles of blood and fang yuan's dead body lay at the jester's feet
his brain was splatered all over the place! blood pouring out and all bones appearing, even his soul had dissapated!
"hahaha is this what you wanted Fang yuan, is this your Eternal Life??!! Hahaha
Even I dont have Eternal life!! Eternal life belongs to no one, it does not exist! I lived hundreds of trillions of years, one who has barely lived millions of years dares to show his face in front of me?!!"
The joker steps on his corpse, and keeps splatering blood all over himself, at this point fang yuan was nothing but a minced corpse
"Hahahaha is this all you can do Fang yuan!! hmph boring!"
Far away, Far far away, where the jester was floating before
an invisible hand penetrates through space and time and pulls a White rainbow blue cube that rotated, stabilised and rerotated endlessly on top of the hand!
this cube seemed to encompass everything, it seemed it was the Thing that was animating all the universes, even the jester and all the creatures even fang yuan borrowed his existence from this One rainbow blue Cube which was letting out light and dancing in all sorts of ways
Fang yuan felt it!!!
ITS POWER WAS INFINITE, INEXHAUSTIBLE AND UNLIMITED!!
even the strong hand holding it Trembled!
the man stood expressionless floating high in space holding this cube
The jester immediately reacts "YOU BASTARD!! YOU DARE!!"
The jester tho outwardly screamed was completely calm inside
he had tried for Trillions of years tried absorb its power but couldn't and had used Creation to help simulate ways to absorb all existence to crack the cube and Attain Eternal Life!
For that cube was God itself!
the cube was dancing, crackling with electricity, it seemed being removed and touched triggered it!
the jester spoke : "HAHAHAHAHA You think you can use the power of the Eliacube!!! I have tried for trillions of years only able to use to create and unable to use and absorb it doesn't work!!"
the Giant jester laughed even harder "Hmph! I want you to try! even now I can't completely control it!! yet you think you can!! hmph!!"
Fang yuan stood expressionless, unmoved, undisturbed by these words!
Fang yuan had no way to control this Cube which encompased existence and even non-existence
this Cube was God, how could mere creation use it? there was no way this was possible
the cube was held in one hand, the other hand however was free
Fang yuan immediately STABBED his OWN CHEST!! AND REMOVED HIS OWN HEART !!!
The jester was completely shocked! What is Wrong with this MADMAN!! this guy is Suicidal demon!! his intuition tho warned him and he ran fast to catch fang yuan
A slight smile appeared in Fang yuan's face, his INSANITY was absolutely obvious
THIS MAN WAS ABOUT TO RISK IT ALL!
He did not care about his life, he was AT THE LAST STEP! How could he HESITATE NOW OF ALL PLACES??!!!
FANG YUAN IMMEDIATELY AFTER REMOVING HIS HEART FORCES THE CUBE IN THE HOLE IN HIS CHEST AND PLACES THE CUBE EXACTLY WHERE HIS HEART USED TO BE!!
Immediately upon touching his chest
THE CUBE EXPLODES WITH ENDLESS ENERGY AND ENGULFES BOTH THE JESTER AND FANG YUAN IN ENDLESS LIGHT !!
IMMEDIATELY UPON THIS INTERFERENCE, ALL UNIVERSES WERE DESTROYED AND DISAPPEARED IN THIN AIR !!!
THE GU WORLD, PLANET EARTH AND THE HUMAN WORLD CEASED TO EXIST IN A SPLIT SECOND!!
ADMIST THE LOUDEST CRACKLING SOUNDS OF ELECTRICITY AND ENERGY WAS A FANG YUAN THAT WAS LOSING CONTROL !!
HE COULD SEE NOTHING, CONTROL NOTHING, HE SENSED HIS OWN LIFE WAS ABOUT TO END, THIS WAS IT, THERE WAS NO WAY HE COULD SURVIVE THIS!!!
TEARS BEGAN TO WELL UP SUBCONSCIOUSLY IN FANG YUAN's EYES!!
IT SEEMED HE FAILED AFTER ALL! HE WAS FOOLISH HOW COULD HE THINK OF ATTAINING SOMETHING THAT DOESNT EXIST?!!
ALL THESE THOUGHTS RIPPLED ON THEIR OWN IN HIS MIND AND HEART
YET WITHIN THIS ABYSS, THIS BOTTOMLESS DARK, A SPARK CAME INTO BEING INTO FANG YUAN'S BEING
"HOW COULD I GIVE UP LIKE THIS!! NEVER WILL I EVER KNEEL!! ETERNAL LIFE IS MINE!! I WILL GET IT NO MATTER WHAT!! LET THIS BODY AND SOUL BE BURNT ASUNDER!!! LET THIS ENTIRE WORLD DIE!! I DONT CARE!!!"
A Scream that went from the absolute bottom of his Being was about to EXPLODE OUTWARDS and FANG YUAN WITH HIS ENTIRE EXISTENCE ON THE LINE TRIED TO TRY TO MERGE AND CONTROL THE CUBE!!
"AAAAA"
"MORE I NEED MORE !!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
SWEAT AND BLOOD SPLATERED, ALL BONES WERE BROKEN!!
"MOOOOOORE MORE MORE MORE MORE !!!!!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
BLOOD AND SWEAT, BONS BROKEN, SPIRITUAL ENERGY ABOUT TO BE COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED YET FANG YUAN DOES NOT RELENT !!! AND HE GOES AGAIN!!!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
THE ENTIRETY OF EXISTENCE AND NON-EXISTENCE RIPPLED, ALL SPACE AND TIME CRACKLED, THE CUBE ITSELF SEEMED TO GO INTO IMBALANCE AND ABOUT TO EXPLODE
FANG YUAN LITERALLY IMPLICATED ALL EXISTENCE AND NON-EXISTENCE!! THERE WAS A HIGH CHANCE THE CUBE ITSELF WOULD EXPLODE ITSELF AND DESTROY EVERYTHING THAT WAS LEFT!! INFINITY ITSELF WAS ABOUT TO BREAK!!!
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
EVERYTHING CRACKLED!! EXPLODED!!! HOT AIR GUSHED OUT OF EVERYWHERE !!!
................................................
........................................
................................
......................
IN PURE NOTHINGESS LAY A NEARLY DEAD JESTER !!
THE JESTER FOR THE FIRST TIME EXPERIENCED THE ABSOLUTE MADNESS THAT FANG YUAN's ENEMIES EXPERIENCED!!
the Jester was SCARED for his Life! But he was still alive now, how could a God level die so easily? tho dead could have happened sending chills down his back
Fang yuan had died. his pursuits and madness had in the end ended him, it was inevitable, all people who encountered Fang yuan had known this day would come
tho the Jester Hated Fang yuan to the Absolute Core, he admired how Courageous this man is and this experiment could be the Key to attaining Eternal life!
The jester goes forward to retrieve the Rotating Cube which was far away,
Moving Through all the Clouds of Smoke to the cube
Each step had a resounding sound for the Jester was a Giant
the more the joker walked, the more clearly he could see, Finally the cube was near
The jester takes one more Step
*BOOoM*
IN A FLASH, a HUGE UNFATHOMABLE EXPLOSION of Inertia and Hot air Spread, it pushed EVERYTHING, Completely OBLITERATING ALL TIME AND SPACE!
IMMEDIATELY, A MAN APPEARS ON THE HORIZON, FLOATING IN MID AIR, RAINBOW RUNES RIPPLING ALL OVER HIS BODY!!
RAINBOW SHINING EYES,
IN THE CAVE OF HIS HEART A RAINBOW CUBE RESIDED!!
THIS CUBE WAS GOD!
RAINBOW VEINS WERE ALL OVER FANG YUAN'S BODY!! AS HE SCREAMED IN ABSOLUTE AGONY AND ABSOLUTE PAIN !!!!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Ahhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhh
FANG YUAN WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN THAT HE WISHED TO JUST DIE !!!
WITHOUT EVEN CARING HE USED HIS OWN FINGERNAILS TO DIG HIS OWN EYES OUT AND DIG HIS OWN FACE AND HIS OWN SKIN!!!
THE JOKER STOOD IN ABSOLUTE HORROR FANG YUAN HAD DIGGED ALL HIS SKIN AND WAS ONLY MUSCLE NOW COMPLETELY RED!!
HE EVEN BEGAN TO DIG HIS OWN MUSCLES!! HE COULD NOT SEE!! HE COULD NOT HEAR!!
THE CUBE REMAINED ROTATING IN THE CAVE OF HIS HEART, IT SEEMED IT HAD COMPLETELY MERGED INTO FANG YUAN AND WAS NOW HIM BUT THE PAIN DID NOT STOP AT ALL NOR DECREASE!!!
THE JESTER WAS COMPLETELY SHOCKED AND THOUGHT IT WOULD END HERE HE COULD DIG FANG YUAN'S HEART ANYWAY!!
BUT A SECOND LATER, HE WAS COMPLETELY WRONG, THE CUBE IN HIS HEART WAS ENDLESSLY ROTATING, STOPPING AND ROTATING AGAIN
BUT THIS TIME EACH TIME IT ROTATED IT WOULD LET COMPLETE HUGE ENERGY EXPLOSION DIRECTED OUTWARDS INTO THE SPACE WHERE THEY RESIDES
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
ONE STREAM OF ENERGY WAS LAUNCHED AND IMMEDIATELY HALF THE SPACE WAS BROKEN
ONLY ONE HALF REMAINED!! IT SEEMED THIS NEXT STREAM OF ENERGY WOULD BE THE END FOR THE JESTER
THE JESTER MOVED HE HAD TO STOP HIM NOW OR IT WOULD REALLY THE END!!
THE JESTER MOVES ABSOLUTELY RAPIDLY AS HE WAS GOD LEVEL, HE REACHES JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT TO ATTACK
THE CUBE MOVES BY ITSELF AND LAUNCHES A STRIKE IN SELF PROTECTION!! A STREAM OF ENERGY 100TIMES THE STRENGTH OF A GOD!!
JUST MILISECONDS BEFORE HIS DEATH, ONE THOUGHT "WHAT HE ACTUALLY CONQUERED THE CUBE??!! THE CUBE IS DEFENDING HIM!! WHY!! WHYYY!!! I TRIED IT MYSELF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
THE STRIKE IMMEDIATELY HITS AND OBLITERATES THE ENTIRE REST OF SPACE TIME AND THE JESTER COMPLETELY DIES AND VANISHES FROM EXISTENCE!!! THE END OF THE DEMIURGE!!
THE GOD OF CREATION HAD DIED!!
FANG YUAN DID NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HE WAS STILL TEARING HIS OWN MUSCLE TILL ARRIVING IN THE BONES
THIS PAIN DID NOT STOP FOR EVEN A MILISECOND
IT CONTINUED FOR A LONG TIME, A VERY LONG TIME
seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days,
days turned into months turned into years turned into hundreds of years
turned into thousands of years turned into tens of thousands of years turned into hundreds of thousands of years
turned into millions of years turned into tens of millions of years of absolute agony, pain worse than death and ever existing
tens of millions of years turned into hundreds of millions of years
turned into a billion years
turned into tens of billions of years, turned into hundreds of billions of years!! it seemed it would be endless, fang yuan at all times stayed awake into absolute agony and the biggest pain in existence, pain for all eternity
a hundred billion turned into a trillion years
a trillion years turned into tens of trillions of years
10 trillion years, 20 trillion years, 30 trillion years, 40 trillion years, 50 trillion years, 60 trillion years, 70 trillion years, 80 trillion years, 90 trillion years
91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97 trillion years, 98 trillion years, 99 trillion years
FINALLY 100 TRILLION YEARS LATER !!
THE PAINS STOPS!
THE CUBE COMPLETELY INTEGRATES INTO THE SOUL AND BODY OF FANG YUAN AND THE CUBE BECOMES FANG YUAN!
Fang Yuan remains falls into Unconsciousness, Fang yuan had died
BUT IMMEDIATELY THE CUBE WORKS TO RESSURECT ITS HOST FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE REMAINING LIFE IN FANG YUAN
INSANTLY 100 TRILLION YEARS OF PAIN WERE WASHED AWAY BY THE GOD CUBE IN AN INSTANT!!
FANG YUAN FINALLY WAKES UP!!
a pair lips moved and a voice echoed
"Always aspired Soaring beyond Existence,
Taking large strides with unwavering Determination,
Through the vicissitudes of life,
Through endless blood, sweat and tears
The Perseverance in my heart finally yields my Goal
I finally behold Beauty
the Jewel in my heart offers Eternal life
this my - the Reverend insanity's Absolute Supremacy!"
Rainbow runes running all over his body
Absolute Power and infinity pumping through his blood and body
Fang yuan continues and recites another poem
"I am God, the Absolute. Of this there is no doubt.
I am One with no other, the only Truth, the single essence.
I am Eternal, formless, solitary, Endless.
I am the Supreme Reality, forever whole and undivided.
Before anything was, I Am. I never am not.
my nature is Absolute Freedom
I am forever free and boundless, no beginning, no middle, no end.
I alone exist! Limitless, eternal, all-encompassing!
Truly, I alone exist, all-pervasive and never-ending!
I am eternal and omnipresent, undivided, all-pervasive,
and without any dimension whatsoever.
I am One. I am Absolute.
I neither come nor go
I have no inside or outside
Not bound by such dualities, I light Eternity!
I have no origin nor does anything originate from me
Not bound by such dualities, I light Eternity!
Not bound by birth or death, I light Eternity!
Not bound by time or space, I light Eternity!
Not bound by being or non-being, I light Eternity!
Not subject to creation and destruction, I light Eternity!
I alone exist! Limitless, eternal, all-encompassing!
I am the Absolute, the One Reality!
To what should I offer my devotion?
I am Absolute Perfection, the absolute essence beyond space and time, existence and non-existence
I have no desires, I am All that Is – Forever free and boundless!
I am the Supreme Being! formless! unbounded! limitless! Infinite! untouched by anything!
Supremely pure and Free, absorbed in infinite Bliss
So do I recite this poem and abide in my Beauty Forevermore”
As soon as Fang yuan finished,
instantly,
All the remaining existence dissolved and disappeared forever"
It is an Eternal Mystery wheter it was Fang yuan or God that spoke those words, but perhaps both
A Tale and journey to Eternity, so does this Tale reveal Absolute Truth.
----END---
submitted by I_am_Fang_Yuan_ to IamFangyuan_ [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:32 PerpetuallyListening The Icemen Cometh. (ESPN ad from Sport magazine, December 1985)

The Icemen Cometh. (ESPN ad from Sport magazine, December 1985) submitted by PerpetuallyListening to vintageads [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:08 MyFuneralHomeStories Chapter Two: three drinks, Two dead & One Candy Bar

I was pouring drink number three when my phone rang… I'm 20 years old, a little drunk and in about an hour, I will have almost shot my colleague in the chest in front of three police officers and two frozen dead bodies. Weird. I can't say that I'm mentally ready for what I'm about to see this evening, who’s ever really ready to walk into a garage with a Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullets and two frozen gang bangers inside. My name is Grant and These are My Funeral Home Stories.
Chapter Two: three drinks, Two dead & One Candy Bar
It's about six o'clock on the 3rd Tuesday in February and factoring in the windchill, it's negative 14 degrees outside. I've been off of work for about an hour and I'm not on call tonight…So naturally, I'm just finishing up my second drink and considering whether to order pizza or Chinese tonight. I use my finger to stop by drink from bubbling over and the phone rings. It’s Andy, one of the directors from the funeral home that’s on call when Ned and I are off AND apparently the person he's on call with this evening is unreachable…If it's your job to be on call, you don't want this to happen. It's almost the equivalent of a no call no show at any other job. If you're on call, the only thing you have to do is wait for the phone to ring and when it does ring, you answer it. It’s really not that hard.
Andy is calling me to ask if I would fill in and go on a police call with him. There was a shooting and apparently there are two frozen dead bodies in a car… inside the police station. OK. Why are they at the police station? Great question. Apparently it was too cold outside to investigate and process the crime scene so they moved the crime scene into a heated garage inside a police station. This all sounds incredibly interesting to me but there's only one problem… I'm drunk. Well, on my way to drunk and I'm not old enough to drink. I'm not going anywhere near a police station. I explained to Andy that I'm in no condition to drive to the funeral home and he'd have to find someone else. He interrupted me and said, “ but you're not old enough to drink. Stay put. I'm picking you up. See you in 10.” He hung up the phone before I had time to argue.
Welp. Looks like I'm going to the police station against all better judgment. I finish my third drink as I put on my black 3 button double breasted black suit by Chaps that I picked up at Kohls. (Side note: all my other suits were at the dry cleaners. I hate this suit. It makes me look like a walking rectangle.) It's our funeral home’s policy that we dress cleanly and professionally while in public. This means you ruin a lot of good dress clothes but at least you look sharp… and you can write off your dry cleaning as a job related expense.
I run a razor over my face sans shaving cream because I’m in a hurry and our funeral home also has a strict no facial hair policy. No mustaches, no goatees and definitely no beards. I'm not sure why this is a rule, It just is. I take an extra long look at myself in the mirror to make sure I have myself in order. The last thing I want to do tonight is walk into a police station looking like a sloppy, drunk unshaven underage mess. Could I get fired for getting an underage drinking ticket while on a death call? I sure hope not. I hear a horn honking in the driveway. I peak out the front window, Andy’s out front in our 2004 black Pontiac minivan. It’s a pretty slick…Instead of back seats, our van has a polished oak floor with rollers spaced evenly down the length of the van. These rollers aid in sliding caskets in and out without scratching the van or caskets.
I’m almost ready. I decided to wear a heavy wool four button top coat, scarf and rubberized dress boots by Ecco, all black of course. (Side note: Always spend extra money on ‘nicer’ boots. You don't want your socks wet on death calls.) Although I hate the suit I have on, I am wearing my favorite necktie. It's white, black and navy blue diagonally striped made from handwoven silk by Ralph Lauren. Very sharp. Remember this tie… my favorite tie, it’ll come up again later. On my way out the door I stuffed a handful of garlic flavored chips in my mouth and pulled a Nestle Butterfinger candy bar out of the pantry. The garlic will help cover up the three Jack and Cokes I just had and put a little food in my stomach. The Butterfinger…well, that's my reward. I'll eat it on the way home. I fucking love Butterfingers and why not reward myself for what I'm about to do? I'm not even on call tonight. I deserve it.
From my house to the police station, it’s about 10 minutes… a straight shot with no traffic. Andy starts nervously giggling almost immediately when my door closes and buckle my seatbelt. Funeral Directors are generally interesting people but our pal, Andy, he's a real card. I'm going to tell you a few things about Andy and hopefully won't sound too judgmental in the process. Andy had a gastric bypass surgery three years ago and as has lost about 150 pounds andI don't think he's gone clothes shopping since his weight loss. All of his suits look like they're about five sizes too big. His skin is loose around his jawline giving him a permanent droopy dog expression. It's weird seeing someone whose clothes and skin don't fit their body. He's a nervous guy and he's always afraid of getting in trouble…but somehow he's blindly confident. That's it for the positives.
Andy talks the most deliberate and malicious shit about everyone in the office. It's pathological at this point, I'm not sure he's even aware of it. You really have to watch what you say around this guy… I mean, if you don't want it repeated or used against you, don't say it around Andy. Andy's jumped from funeral home to funeral home around the country settling in towns just long enough to fuck things up and make a quick exit. He’s was a total creep and we found out a few years later that he was stealing from one of our funeral homes. He had his moments but for the most part, I didn't want anything to do with this guy…Especially after drinking almost half of my $36 bottle of Gentleman Jack. Actually, I'm probably just drunk enough to enjoy his company.
We turn on to Roosevelt, the police station is on our right. Andy has managed to keep the van under control even with the several inches of black ice and snow covering the roads. Andy tells me that we're to call a number when we're outside the police station parking garage and an officer will open the giant chain gate to let us in. The car with the dead bodies is in a separate heated garage inside the building to thaw out for processing.
It just dawned on me, I'm kind of hammered and last time I checked I'm still not old enough to drink… I feel my anxiety levels rising…I’m not super eager to walk into a police station in my current condition. My plan is to keep my head down and stay as far out of the officers’ breath smelling distance as possible. I'm so happy I decided to eat those chips before I left. I can still taste the garlic. Garlic breath is better than booze breath. I'm fairly certain they won't lock me up for having bad breath.
Andy calls the number, the gate opens and we drive down a pretty drastic slope and enter the garage filled with a fleet of police cars. There must be 40 decked out Chevy Impalas polished up and ready for dispatch. We pull forward and an officer signals us to stop next to a plain gray door in the center of a the cinder block wall on our right. Andy loaded two stretchers in the van this evening. One standard, one oversized, we get out of the van and unload both without incident. The officer walks to the back of the van and tells us to follow him.
We walk through the gray door and quickly move through three different beige hallways, no windows, just ugly plain cinderblock. I realized that I've completely lost my bearings. When we come to the end of the hallway with another gray door. I feel a combination of claustrophobia and vertigo hit me all at once or maybe that was drink number three kickin’ in. The officer opens the door and Andy and I wheel our stretchers into a 20 by 20 garage lit by the brightest fluorescent lights I've ever experienced. The temperature of the light in this room is unnerving among other things.
'Welcome to the crime lab garage' I think to myself. Immediately upon entering the room, I'm almost knocked to the floor by a smell that burns my nasal cavities. It wasn't the smell of rotting flesh or piss and shit, I’ve smelled all those things before. This was new. It’s so unique but the more Im exposed to it the more I realize I’ve smelled this before at the funeral home but I can’t place it….Then it hits me almost as intensely as the smell itself. Ammonia, that's it! It smells like someone took two or three large bottles of ammonia and just poured them all over the room. I look at Andy as we park the stretchers. We make eye contact and I pointed my nose while simultaneously making a confused face. “What the fuck is that?” I whisper.
Andy pulls two pair of blue heavy duty surgical gloves out of the front pocket of his stretcher, hands me a pair and then proceeds to blow my mind. He quietly tells me that the strong ammonia odor is coming from the blood. Apparently when someone dies suddenly all the blood cells in the body make one last screaming effort to stay alive and dump a ton of waste into the bloodstream. The waste is what gives the blood a strong scent of ammonia. You know when someone says they can smell blood in a movie or TV show? I think If this is what they're talking about.
Now that I have my gloves on and have adjusted to the smell, I take off my overcoat and suit jacket and tuck my tie between two buttons on my white dress shirt. This is simply precautionary. There is nothing worse than dipping your tie into something gross. It's almost always UNcleanable.
In this moment, I'm able to take in my surroundings. Perhaps it's the alcohol but something feels off. Under rows and rows of fluorescent lights there’s a maroon Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullet holes with all four of its doors and trunk wide open. Upon initial inspection, my eyes are drawn to two dead men in the backseat and rusted hood with a smattering of bullet holes. It seems that most of the shots were through the windshield, windows and door panels.The windshield is barely able to hold itself up.
Andy and I walk around the car to figure out our plan of attack. He flips open a black vinyl body bag, unzips it and places it on the ground next to the car and he tells me his plan. “If they’re frozen in a seated position, we won't be able to move em that easily… So we'll wiggle them out, lay them on the body bags and zip up the disaster pouch around them.” This sounds good to me. We move in.
We decided to start with the body in the driver's side backseat. The door’s already open and the hinges appear to be hyper extended. The crime scene techs probably bent the hinges while they were scrubbing the scene. Now up close, I’m finally able to take in the two dead men sitting in the backseat in front of me. These guys must have been a couple years older than me, both wearing Timberlands, black jeans and black jackets… like big puffy down jackets. One man has a New Era baseball cap on backwards while the other has a black stocking cap atop his head. I didn't see any logos but the brain matter, bullet holes and blood may have made it hard to notice. The ammonia smell inside the car is completely overwhelming. Blood is literally covering everything in the backseat. Chunks of thawing brain and meat are all over the headrest. I pick up a piece near the seat belt and squeeze it with my middle finger and thumb. It's still a little frozen so it crunches a bit before turning into mush between my fingers. I wiped my hand on a clean part of the interior.
Bullet holes are weird…For something that can end your life so quickly, they don't leave much of a mark on their way in…BUT the way out is a totally different story. I have no idea how many times these men were shot but they’re covered and destroyed by bullet holes. Chin, hands, thighs under the eyeballs and everywhere else. There wasn’t a part of either of these men’s bodies that didn’t have at least one bullet hole… I didn't see their feet though…if I’m being completely transparent.
This is gore. This is a complete horror show. Someone wanted these men dead… like seriously dead. Was it the driver or could it have been the front seat passenger? There must have been someone sitting in the front seat, right? Why else would two grown men sit in the backseat together if there was an open front seat? By the number of holes, I come to the conclusion that at least two people had to have shot up this car….Far too many holes for one shooter and it was definitely people they thought they were close to…
With half my body in the car, the smell of ammonia is blending with the smell of shit…which is undoubtedly oozing from one or all of the many holes in these men's stomachs. Thankfully, the taste of the garlic chips and whiskey I had earlier keeping me from gagging. Both men looked like they were sleeping like someone's dad or brother in the backseat on a road trip but riddled with holes and covered and smelly blood and falling human chunks.
There's only enough room for one of us in the car’s backseat door opening so Andy gets in the driver's seat backwards and reaches back around the front seat to help shimmy the body out. I press the button and unbuckle the seatbelt, it whips back into its home position startling Andy and I. Everything in this car is covered with blood or some sort of human matter. My gloves are literally covered in blood from just unbuckling the seatbelt and now the taste of the ammonia smell is dripping its way into my mouth through my throat. The officers are having some sort of quiet discussion standing by the door we came in earlier. It's not uncommon for police officers to be completely apathetic about crime scenes when the funeral home arrives. The investigation is basically over tonight these officers couldn't care less about their scene. They just wanted to get these bodies moved out of the garage so they could get home to their families. I get that… but their lack of supervision is troubling, especially with what happens next.
I am now completely hunched over the body in the back passenger seat while Andy is supervising from the front turned around in the driver's seat with his gloved hands on the headrest. I tell Andy that I think I'm strong enough to grab this man’s right forearm and slide his body out on my own. When I grabbed the man's forearm, I immediately feel something isn't right. I've grabbed lots of dead people's forearms before. None felt like this though. It was so hard and rigid….don’t get me wrong I understand this man is frozen BUT whatever I'm grabbing on to isn't human. It's something else. It's hard and feels like metal one of those cheap metal canes you'd buy at a drugstore. The three drinks circulating through my bloodstream make me curious but pensive. I tell Andy that I'm not touching a man's arm and that there's something else in this man’s jacket.
I interrupted the police officers conversation. “Hey, something isn't right here.” An officer and I switch places as he pulls out a tactical knife and starts cutting away the sleeve to the blood soaked down jacket. “It’s a FUCKING GUN.” I look over his shoulder and see the open sleeve of a jacket revealing a sawed off shotgun. The inside of the coat was some sort of bright orange material so the short barrel of the shotgun stand out…and so did the trigger but not because of its color. It stood out because of frozen dead man’s finger hooked over and frozen around it. Did I mention the gun was cocked. This means that the slightest movement would have caused a sudden discharge… The gun would have fired directly into the driver's seat, the seat where Andy was supervising from AND apparently Andy and I noticed this at the same time.
The next sound we hear was an officer saying, “Gun! Loaded gun!”
Andy and I step back while the officers deal with the gun… he's freaked out…I can tell by the blotchy greenish yellow color he skin has turned in the last 30 seconds. Andy says, “I don't like guns. I don't like guns.”
“It's cool, man. Nobody got shot.” I say not being too sympathetic. I'm definitely drunk now and the idea of a frozen dead man shooting my partner in the chest is kind of hilarious, even if it would have been my fault. I giggle internally. Andy quickly moves towards the door and says, “I need to get some fresh air” and scurries out like an asshole letting the door slam behind him. Almost at the same moment the door closed. The three officers approached me from behind, “We got it out….It was loaded. Your buddy's lucky you didn’t shoot him in the chest.” I just snicker and tell the officers my partner needed some air and that I'll make the removals myself. How hard could it be? I'll just grab and pull.
Frozen bodies move in one piece while regular room temperature bodies are just floppy deadweight. These fellas are frozen solid…they felt like moving a heavy chair or peculiar shaped table out of your friend's car. Square peg in round holes, it was actually considerably easier than I anticipated.
The sound of the two bodies hitting a cold cement after pulling them out was very satisfying…a simple loud hollow frozen thud. I'm surrounded by awfulness and all I can think about is how proud I am that I just handled this crime scene on my own. I can't wait to eat that Butterfinger waiting for me in the car. It's a fitting reward but also something to get rid of this ammonia and garlic taste overpowering my senses at the moment.
Andy still hasn't come back and we're about to zip up the last body bag. An officer had put on a pair of gloves to help me maneuver the second man's rigid bent knees into the body bag. This man's body was like a complicated Tetris piece. Once in, we each grab a zipper on either side of the black vinyl bag and zip our respective ends until they meet in the middle. I nod my head at the officer and say, “That's how it's done!”
The officer looks at me sternly and says, “Did you just come from a party?” I look at him confused and respond, ”What?”
The officer tells me that he just got a waft of alcohol. “It reeks like booze over here.” I closed my mouth quickly and my heart begins to beat out of my chest. I must smell like a distillery… so much for those garlic chips. Laughing, I say, “On a Tuesday? Come on, man!” The officer stands up and says, “Let's run a tox screen on these guys to find out how fucked up they were before getting blasted.”
Looks like a dodged a bullet. How did he smell my whiskey breath over the ammonia smell? Does my breath just smell like straight rubbing alcohol? I feel bad that these dead guys got blamed for MY alcohol breath but, at least, I won't be walking out of here with an underage drinking ticket.
Calming down and feeling relieved. I looked down on my shirt and see that my necktie, my very favorite Ralph Lauren necktie, had fallen out of my shirt at some point and had been dipped into some smelly smelly blood. Fuck! Of course I ruined my favorite necktie on a night I'm not even supposed to be working. I undo the knot and throw the tie into a biohazard bag. The rest of the removal was kind of a blur because I was laser focused thinking about that Butterfinger I left in the car. The alcohol plus all the blood smell I kind of made my stomach sour. My mouth starts to water thinking about that candy bar.
One of the officers helps me wheel the stretchers out to the van in the main area of the police station parking garage. I can see exhaust coming out of our van. It's on? Did we leave the van running? I open the back of the van to find Andy laying down in the center of the wooden roller board taking up the entire back of the van. The sound startles him and he quickly jumps up to a seated position and says, “I'm sorry man, guns really freak me out. I almost got shot…. I thought I was gonna pass out.”
I notice a yellow rapper sitting next to his right leg. He noticed that I noticed. “Oh yeah, I owe you a candy bar.” He says in a nonchalant manner.
All at once, my dislike for Andy hit me like a tidal wave. I ruined my favorite tie and this asshole ate my candy bar? Andy, sensing my disappointment and anger, didn't say another word and I imagine what it would have been like if that shot gun would have gone off.
My name is Grant and these are My Funeral Home Stories.
Here this episode wherever you listen to podcasts:
Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/my-funeral-home-stories/id1462188362?i=1000437632125
Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5rzZhNGCCkIaHbhWQ1irjd?si=2e0eae46d64e4066
YouTube: https://youtu.be/UYVL66uyfAE
Download the 45 minute Epilogue & Commercial Free Episodes & Seasons: www.MyFuneralHomeStories.com
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2023.05.29 01:07 BIGBOOSTING Sandals Royal Curacao Review

Just got back from Sandals Royal Curacao! This is a long review. I took over this subreddit to make it as informational as possible about the resorts, so here we go! Please feel free to ask any questions if I missed something.
 
Room:
We stayed May 22-27 in a Sunchi Swim-up Club Level room (HSUP). We were in Sunchi Building 8, which is the last building on one side of the resort. We stayed in 1253, which is the second-to-last room on the first floor. All that to say, Curacao is a long resort and you'll definitely get your steps in! But we were also right next to the dive shop, which was fantastic for us.
 
The swim-up room was amazing and highly recommended! We ended up using it more than the double infinity pool. They did a perfect job at keeping the in-room bar stocked with alcohol and juices/water (around 10am). We didn't have to call for anything once. So we would hang out in the pool (which connects across buildings 7 & 8, and there is a common area) and make our own drinks. Many times we were the only ones in the pool out of all the rooms. The swim-up pool is completely private, there is no entry except through a room, and there are a lot of gorgeous plants and flowers blocking it from the other side. Hummingbirds would be 1 foot away and were fun to watch. Floats are provided for each room. Use the ice bucket to keep bottles cool outside.
 
Ordering food from Room Service was consistently 40-45 minutes. At night it was quiet, as the music from the main area doesn't really reach building 8. No one would be in the swim-up pool after 10, it would start to get a little chilly with the wind. It gets very, very dark towards the Sunchi end of the resort. I recommend using the building side to reach your room, not the garden path.
 
Two subjective complaints:
(1) Housekeeping was very late. Some days they didn't come until 4-5pm, and the evening turn-down and towel replenishment didn't happen until 10pm. Between the swim-up and shower and wet floors, you NEED towels. We supplemented with the brown pool towels, grabbing them any time we went by the other pools. The late service could be because we were in the last building, but I'm not sure. The housekeepers did do a very thorough job and the rooms were clean and new.
(2) When we first checked-in, the back door's lock looked like it was forcibly broken and mangled. We had them replace it, but it still didn't lock. There is a second set of heavy wooden doors (blinds really) that do close and lock, so we weren't overly concerned. I don't think someone tried to break in, based on how the pool would make it hard to get to. But I can see someone getting locked out accidentally and having no other option but to break the door, since you can't get out of the pool area otherwise.
 
Restaurants/Service
The service across all restaurants and bars was outstanding. We never experienced a wait or long times to get our ordedrinks. The waitstaff were happy to talk to you and literally everyone says hello as you pass by. Concierge was perfect and accommodating as well. Restaurants had most of everything, and they would tell you what they're out of as you sat down.
 
Pietra - Our go-to breakfast buffet. At lunch they change the buffet to different food by country (Asian, Mexican, American, etc.). The food was all great at lunch. I ate too many fajitas.
 
Vincent - Reservation required. I recommend the Escargots and Foie Gras. They were out of the Cured Beef Bresaola.
 
Toteki, La Palma, Kishi - Food trucks. These were great for a snack. Get the cuttlefish and shrimp from La Palma, and the General Tso's Steak Bao Buns from Kishi.
 
Strand - For dinner, absolutely get the Snapper. It was my favorite meal of the trip. My husband liked the Surf & Turf at Strand better than Butch's. Strand also has a lunch menu with American-type items on it. The shrimp Caesar wrap was a nice light lunch.
 
Butch's - Reservation required. We went twice for dinner, once for breakfast. For dinner appetizers, try the Waldorf Caesar, Crispy Goat Cheese Salad, and Grilled Black Pepper Bacon (definitely that one). The Aged Prime Rib and Chargrilled Lamb Chops were great. We also had the Surf & Turf and Steak Diane which were very good too. Absolutely get the Willy Wonka Brulee - it was my favorite dessert on the resort.
 
Gatsu Gatsu - We went twice. The sushi here is so good. It's 4 pieces per roll. I recommend the Champagne Lobster and Caribbean Dynamite rolls. Shrimp tempura and crispy chicken karaage were our favorite appetizers. They were out of edamame and tonkotsu ramen.
 
Kanaal - Nice to pop into for a cappuccino or sweets.
 
Zuka and Aolo's - did not try.
 
Note: We wanted to order champagne (Veuve Clicquot) but the resort (or at least Butch's, Kanaal, and Pietra) was out of that and several of their Proseccos. We did end up getting 2 bottles of Prosecco though.
 
Scuba Diving
Scuba was great and the team was a lot of fun. You have to do a check-out dive if you haven't logged a dive recently (they do check your log book if you want to avoid the check-out dive). We did ours around 11am and were able to go on an afternoon dive the same day (we were waitlisted, but some didn't show up). You sign up for dives starting at 8am 2 days out, so if you want to dive Friday, show up on Wednesday morning at 8am to sign up. They do keep waitlists for each dive. The dive shop has lockers! Great for if your room is at the other end of the resort and you don't want to walk with your stuff every morning.
 
The dive schedule seems highly variable - while we were there, they did 2-tank morning dives Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and a 1-tank afternoon dive those days. Tuesday and Thursday they do a 1-tank morning dive, and 1-tank afternoon dive. I'm not sure about Saturday-Sunday since we weren't there. But, they said just a month ago they were only able to do 1-tank morning dives each day and no afternoon dives, as the water would get too choppy. And yes, the water was very choppy and it was windy all day. I saw a red flag or two at the resort while we were there. So you may want to check out the weather in Curacao the month you want to book.
 
They mentioned all the dive sites were 5-10 minutes away, but we were able to go Double Reef Thursday, the farthest site at 30 minutes. There were several turtles, a reef shark, squid, and a great variety of fish and coral. It was the best dive I've been in on years. However, they said it had been a month and a half since they'd been able to reach the site because of the choppiness. A couple on the boat had been able to go with an offsite-company and enter via shore, so that's an option as well.
 
City
You can take a cab from the resort to Willemstad for $49 each way. Our cab was private and air conditioned. The drivers were very nice. They dropped us off next to the CURACAO sign, and pickup was there too (they gave you a card and you call them 30 minutes before you're ready to leave). Right by the Curacao sign, there's a tiny alley with a white and blue cow - go down that alley for some great gelato. There's also an ice cream place near the sign that claims to give you an orgasm in less than a minute, but I didn't partake. There are lots of cafes and souvenir shops around Willemstad. There's a fresh fish and fruit market. You'll be near where the cruise ships dock. Check out the bridge and forts. Pop into a casino for some much-needed A/C. As an aside, a local man very persistently forced his help on us (where are you going, follow me down this alley, etc...) and wouldn't leave us alone and stop following us even after we said we knew where we were going, and ultimately asked for beer money, but the city seemed safe. There were several police officers around the streets we passed. Just be aware of your surroundings (as in any city).
 
Miscellaneous
The bus ride from/to the airport took us 40-45 minutes. It's a very nice and comfortable bus. You'll see a Sandals area at the end after you pick up your luggage. The airport was very nice and modern and quick to get through (we were first off the plane though). On departure, there seemed to be only one main hot food place after security, but they have a VIP/Priority Pass lounge that had some good light food on the buffet and a hot menu to order from as well. Check if your credit card has that as a perk to avoid the long line at the other restaurant. It opens at 1pm.
 
Spa/Gym - The spa was nice and clean. You have your own private bathroom/changing area in the table room versus a general locker room. The gym had a steady flow of people, but wasn't ever too crowded.
 
Curacao is HOT in May. Seriously. It was 86 every day, with a heat index around 96-97. Now, I was born and raised in South Georgia where it gets 95 with a 110 index in the summer, but this heat hit different. The UV index on my weather app said 11. Wear sunscreen and stay in the water. And get used to being wet - it'll either be pool water, ocean, or sweat depending on your location at the resort. It was mostly sunny every day, with a few clouds in the afternoon. No rain. At night it cools off well enough. Thankfully there's always a nice breeze going on. But stay hydrated and pay attention to your skin. Walking around the city with the heat was a bit much, we started at 9 and made it to 12 before calling it quits.
 
Tl;dr
I loved it! I highly recommend a Swim-up room, but maybe ask for a central building instead of on the edge of the resort (walking that far in the extreme heat with no shade gets old fast). Great service, wonderful staff. I would pick another month to go back though. May was just too hot for me!
 
Edited thoughts:
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2023.05.29 01:04 MyFuneralHomeStories Chapter Two: 3 drinks, 2 dead & 1 Candy Bar

I was pouring drink number three when my phone rang… I'm 20 years old, a little drunk and in about an hour, I will have almost shot my colleague in the chest in front of three police officers and two frozen dead bodies. Weird. I can't say that I'm mentally ready for what I'm about to see this evening, who’s ever really ready to walk into a garage with a Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullets and two frozen gang bangers inside. My name is Grant and These are My Funeral Home Stories.
Chapter Two: three drinks, Two dead & One Candy Bar
It's about six o'clock on the 3rd Tuesday in February and factoring in the windchill, it's negative 14 degrees outside. I've been off of work for about an hour and I'm not on call tonight…So naturally, I'm just finishing up my second drink and considering whether to order pizza or Chinese tonight. I use my finger to stop by drink from bubbling over and the phone rings. It’s Andy, one of the directors from the funeral home that’s on call when Ned and I are off AND apparently the person he's on call with this evening is unreachable…If it's your job to be on call, you don't want this to happen. It's almost the equivalent of a no call no show at any other job. If you're on call, the only thing you have to do is wait for the phone to ring and when it does ring, you answer it. It’s really not that hard.
Andy is calling me to ask if I would fill in and go on a police call with him. There was a shooting and apparently there are two frozen dead bodies in a car… inside the police station. OK. Why are they at the police station? Great question. Apparently it was too cold outside to investigate and process the crime scene so they moved the crime scene into a heated garage inside a police station. This all sounds incredibly interesting to me but there's only one problem… I'm drunk. Well, on my way to drunk and I'm not old enough to drink. I'm not going anywhere near a police station. I explained to Andy that I'm in no condition to drive to the funeral home and he'd have to find someone else. He interrupted me and said, “ but you're not old enough to drink. Stay put. I'm picking you up. See you in 10.” He hung up the phone before I had time to argue.
Welp. Looks like I'm going to the police station against all better judgment. I finish my third drink as I put on my black 3 button double breasted black suit by Chaps that I picked up at Kohls. (Side note: all my other suits were at the dry cleaners. I hate this suit. It makes me look like a walking rectangle.) It's our funeral home’s policy that we dress cleanly and professionally while in public. This means you ruin a lot of good dress clothes but at least you look sharp… and you can write off your dry cleaning as a job related expense.
I run a razor over my face sans shaving cream because I’m in a hurry and our funeral home also has a strict no facial hair policy. No mustaches, no goatees and definitely no beards. I'm not sure why this is a rule, It just is. I take an extra long look at myself in the mirror to make sure I have myself in order. The last thing I want to do tonight is walk into a police station looking like a sloppy, drunk unshaven underage mess. Could I get fired for getting an underage drinking ticket while on a death call? I sure hope not. I hear a horn honking in the driveway. I peak out the front window, Andy’s out front in our 2004 black Pontiac minivan. It’s a pretty slick…Instead of back seats, our van has a polished oak floor with rollers spaced evenly down the length of the van. These rollers aid in sliding caskets in and out without scratching the van or caskets.
I’m almost ready. I decided to wear a heavy wool four button top coat, scarf and rubberized dress boots by Ecco, all black of course. (Side note: Always spend extra money on ‘nicer’ boots. You don't want your socks wet on death calls.) Although I hate the suit I have on, I am wearing my favorite necktie. It's white, black and navy blue diagonally striped made from handwoven silk by Ralph Lauren. Very sharp. Remember this tie… my favorite tie, it’ll come up again later. On my way out the door I stuffed a handful of garlic flavored chips in my mouth and pulled a Nestle Butterfinger candy bar out of the pantry. The garlic will help cover up the three Jack and Cokes I just had and put a little food in my stomach. The Butterfinger…well, that's my reward. I'll eat it on the way home. I fucking love Butterfingers and why not reward myself for what I'm about to do? I'm not even on call tonight. I deserve it.
From my house to the police station, it’s about 10 minutes… a straight shot with no traffic. Andy starts nervously giggling almost immediately when my door closes and buckle my seatbelt. Funeral Directors are generally interesting people but our pal, Andy, he's a real card. I'm going to tell you a few things about Andy and hopefully won't sound too judgmental in the process. Andy had a gastric bypass surgery three years ago and as has lost about 150 pounds andI don't think he's gone clothes shopping since his weight loss. All of his suits look like they're about five sizes too big. His skin is loose around his jawline giving him a permanent droopy dog expression. It's weird seeing someone whose clothes and skin don't fit their body. He's a nervous guy and he's always afraid of getting in trouble…but somehow he's blindly confident. That's it for the positives.
Andy talks the most deliberate and malicious shit about everyone in the office. It's pathological at this point, I'm not sure he's even aware of it. You really have to watch what you say around this guy… I mean, if you don't want it repeated or used against you, don't say it around Andy. Andy's jumped from funeral home to funeral home around the country settling in towns just long enough to fuck things up and make a quick exit. He’s was a total creep and we found out a few years later that he was stealing from one of our funeral homes. He had his moments but for the most part, I didn't want anything to do with this guy…Especially after drinking almost half of my $36 bottle of Gentleman Jack. Actually, I'm probably just drunk enough to enjoy his company.
We turn on to Roosevelt, the police station is on our right. Andy has managed to keep the van under control even with the several inches of black ice and snow covering the roads. Andy tells me that we're to call a number when we're outside the police station parking garage and an officer will open the giant chain gate to let us in. The car with the dead bodies is in a separate heated garage inside the building to thaw out for processing.
It just dawned on me, I'm kind of hammered and last time I checked I'm still not old enough to drink… I feel my anxiety levels rising…I’m not super eager to walk into a police station in my current condition. My plan is to keep my head down and stay as far out of the officers’ breath smelling distance as possible. I'm so happy I decided to eat those chips before I left. I can still taste the garlic. Garlic breath is better than booze breath. I'm fairly certain they won't lock me up for having bad breath.
Andy calls the number, the gate opens and we drive down a pretty drastic slope and enter the garage filled with a fleet of police cars. There must be 40 decked out Chevy Impalas polished up and ready for dispatch. We pull forward and an officer signals us to stop next to a plain gray door in the center of a the cinder block wall on our right. Andy loaded two stretchers in the van this evening. One standard, one oversized, we get out of the van and unload both without incident. The officer walks to the back of the van and tells us to follow him.
We walk through the gray door and quickly move through three different beige hallways, no windows, just ugly plain cinderblock. I realized that I've completely lost my bearings. When we come to the end of the hallway with another gray door. I feel a combination of claustrophobia and vertigo hit me all at once or maybe that was drink number three kickin’ in. The officer opens the door and Andy and I wheel our stretchers into a 20 by 20 garage lit by the brightest fluorescent lights I've ever experienced. The temperature of the light in this room is unnerving among other things.
'Welcome to the crime lab garage' I think to myself. Immediately upon entering the room, I'm almost knocked to the floor by a smell that burns my nasal cavities. It wasn't the smell of rotting flesh or piss and shit, I’ve smelled all those things before. This was new. It’s so unique but the more Im exposed to it the more I realize I’ve smelled this before at the funeral home but I can’t place it….Then it hits me almost as intensely as the smell itself. Ammonia, that's it! It smells like someone took two or three large bottles of ammonia and just poured them all over the room. I look at Andy as we park the stretchers. We make eye contact and I pointed my nose while simultaneously making a confused face. “What the fuck is that?” I whisper.
Andy pulls two pair of blue heavy duty surgical gloves out of the front pocket of his stretcher, hands me a pair and then proceeds to blow my mind. He quietly tells me that the strong ammonia odor is coming from the blood. Apparently when someone dies suddenly all the blood cells in the body make one last screaming effort to stay alive and dump a ton of waste into the bloodstream. The waste is what gives the blood a strong scent of ammonia. You know when someone says they can smell blood in a movie or TV show? I think If this is what they're talking about.
Now that I have my gloves on and have adjusted to the smell, I take off my overcoat and suit jacket and tuck my tie between two buttons on my white dress shirt. This is simply precautionary. There is nothing worse than dipping your tie into something gross. It's almost always UNcleanable.
In this moment, I'm able to take in my surroundings. Perhaps it's the alcohol but something feels off. Under rows and rows of fluorescent lights there’s a maroon Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullet holes with all four of its doors and trunk wide open. Upon initial inspection, my eyes are drawn to two dead men in the backseat and rusted hood with a smattering of bullet holes. It seems that most of the shots were through the windshield, windows and door panels.The windshield is barely able to hold itself up.
Andy and I walk around the car to figure out our plan of attack. He flips open a black vinyl body bag, unzips it and places it on the ground next to the car and he tells me his plan. “If they’re frozen in a seated position, we won't be able to move em that easily… So we'll wiggle them out, lay them on the body bags and zip up the disaster pouch around them.” This sounds good to me. We move in.
We decided to start with the body in the driver's side backseat. The door’s already open and the hinges appear to be hyper extended. The crime scene techs probably bent the hinges while they were scrubbing the scene. Now up close, I’m finally able to take in the two dead men sitting in the backseat in front of me. These guys must have been a couple years older than me, both wearing Timberlands, black jeans and black jackets… like big puffy down jackets. One man has a New Era baseball cap on backwards while the other has a black stocking cap atop his head. I didn't see any logos but the brain matter, bullet holes and blood may have made it hard to notice. The ammonia smell inside the car is completely overwhelming. Blood is literally covering everything in the backseat. Chunks of thawing brain and meat are all over the headrest. I pick up a piece near the seat belt and squeeze it with my middle finger and thumb. It's still a little frozen so it crunches a bit before turning into mush between my fingers. I wiped my hand on a clean part of the interior.
Bullet holes are weird…For something that can end your life so quickly, they don't leave much of a mark on their way in…BUT the way out is a totally different story. I have no idea how many times these men were shot but they’re covered and destroyed by bullet holes. Chin, hands, thighs under the eyeballs and everywhere else. There wasn’t a part of either of these men’s bodies that didn’t have at least one bullet hole… I didn't see their feet though…if I’m being completely transparent.
This is gore. This is a complete horror show. Someone wanted these men dead… like seriously dead. Was it the driver or could it have been the front seat passenger? There must have been someone sitting in the front seat, right? Why else would two grown men sit in the backseat together if there was an open front seat? By the number of holes, I come to the conclusion that at least two people had to have shot up this car….Far too many holes for one shooter and it was definitely people they thought they were close to…
With half my body in the car, the smell of ammonia is blending with the smell of shit…which is undoubtedly oozing from one or all of the many holes in these men's stomachs. Thankfully, the taste of the garlic chips and whiskey I had earlier keeping me from gagging. Both men looked like they were sleeping like someone's dad or brother in the backseat on a road trip but riddled with holes and covered and smelly blood and falling human chunks.
There's only enough room for one of us in the car’s backseat door opening so Andy gets in the driver's seat backwards and reaches back around the front seat to help shimmy the body out. I press the button and unbuckle the seatbelt, it whips back into its home position startling Andy and I. Everything in this car is covered with blood or some sort of human matter. My gloves are literally covered in blood from just unbuckling the seatbelt and now the taste of the ammonia smell is dripping its way into my mouth through my throat. The officers are having some sort of quiet discussion standing by the door we came in earlier. It's not uncommon for police officers to be completely apathetic about crime scenes when the funeral home arrives. The investigation is basically over tonight these officers couldn't care less about their scene. They just wanted to get these bodies moved out of the garage so they could get home to their families. I get that… but their lack of supervision is troubling, especially with what happens next.
I am now completely hunched over the body in the back passenger seat while Andy is supervising from the front turned around in the driver's seat with his gloved hands on the headrest. I tell Andy that I think I'm strong enough to grab this man’s right forearm and slide his body out on my own. When I grabbed the man's forearm, I immediately feel something isn't right. I've grabbed lots of dead people's forearms before. None felt like this though. It was so hard and rigid….don’t get me wrong I understand this man is frozen BUT whatever I'm grabbing on to isn't human. It's something else. It's hard and feels like metal one of those cheap metal canes you'd buy at a drugstore. The three drinks circulating through my bloodstream make me curious but pensive. I tell Andy that I'm not touching a man's arm and that there's something else in this man’s jacket.
I interrupted the police officers conversation. “Hey, something isn't right here.” An officer and I switch places as he pulls out a tactical knife and starts cutting away the sleeve to the blood soaked down jacket. “It’s a FUCKING GUN.” I look over his shoulder and see the open sleeve of a jacket revealing a sawed off shotgun. The inside of the coat was some sort of bright orange material so the short barrel of the shotgun stand out…and so did the trigger but not because of its color. It stood out because of frozen dead man’s finger hooked over and frozen around it. Did I mention the gun was cocked. This means that the slightest movement would have caused a sudden discharge… The gun would have fired directly into the driver's seat, the seat where Andy was supervising from AND apparently Andy and I noticed this at the same time.
The next sound we hear was an officer saying, “Gun! Loaded gun!”
Andy and I step back while the officers deal with the gun… he's freaked out…I can tell by the blotchy greenish yellow color he skin has turned in the last 30 seconds. Andy says, “I don't like guns. I don't like guns.”
“It's cool, man. Nobody got shot.” I say not being too sympathetic. I'm definitely drunk now and the idea of a frozen dead man shooting my partner in the chest is kind of hilarious, even if it would have been my fault. I giggle internally. Andy quickly moves towards the door and says, “I need to get some fresh air” and scurries out like an asshole letting the door slam behind him. Almost at the same moment the door closed. The three officers approached me from behind, “We got it out….It was loaded. Your buddy's lucky you didn’t shoot him in the chest.” I just snicker and tell the officers my partner needed some air and that I'll make the removals myself. How hard could it be? I'll just grab and pull.
Frozen bodies move in one piece while regular room temperature bodies are just floppy deadweight. These fellas are frozen solid…they felt like moving a heavy chair or peculiar shaped table out of your friend's car. Square peg in round holes, it was actually considerably easier than I anticipated.
The sound of the two bodies hitting a cold cement after pulling them out was very satisfying…a simple loud hollow frozen thud. I'm surrounded by awfulness and all I can think about is how proud I am that I just handled this crime scene on my own. I can't wait to eat that Butterfinger waiting for me in the car. It's a fitting reward but also something to get rid of this ammonia and garlic taste overpowering my senses at the moment.
Andy still hasn't come back and we're about to zip up the last body bag. An officer had put on a pair of gloves to help me maneuver the second man's rigid bent knees into the body bag. This man's body was like a complicated Tetris piece. Once in, we each grab a zipper on either side of the black vinyl bag and zip our respective ends until they meet in the middle. I nod my head at the officer and say, “That's how it's done!”
The officer looks at me sternly and says, “Did you just come from a party?” I look at him confused and respond, ”What?”
The officer tells me that he just got a waft of alcohol. “It reeks like booze over here.” I closed my mouth quickly and my heart begins to beat out of my chest. I must smell like a distillery… so much for those garlic chips. Laughing, I say, “On a Tuesday? Come on, man!” The officer stands up and says, “Let's run a tox screen on these guys to find out how fucked up they were before getting blasted.”
Looks like a dodged a bullet. How did he smell my whiskey breath over the ammonia smell? Does my breath just smell like straight rubbing alcohol? I feel bad that these dead guys got blamed for MY alcohol breath but, at least, I won't be walking out of here with an underage drinking ticket.
Calming down and feeling relieved. I looked down on my shirt and see that my necktie, my very favorite Ralph Lauren necktie, had fallen out of my shirt at some point and had been dipped into some smelly smelly blood. Fuck! Of course I ruined my favorite necktie on a night I'm not even supposed to be working. I undo the knot and throw the tie into a biohazard bag. The rest of the removal was kind of a blur because I was laser focused thinking about that Butterfinger I left in the car. The alcohol plus all the blood smell I kind of made my stomach sour. My mouth starts to water thinking about that candy bar.
One of the officers helps me wheel the stretchers out to the van in the main area of the police station parking garage. I can see exhaust coming out of our van. It's on? Did we leave the van running? I open the back of the van to find Andy laying down in the center of the wooden roller board taking up the entire back of the van. The sound startles him and he quickly jumps up to a seated position and says, “I'm sorry man, guns really freak me out. I almost got shot…. I thought I was gonna pass out.”
I notice a yellow rapper sitting next to his right leg. He noticed that I noticed. “Oh yeah, I owe you a candy bar.” He says in a nonchalant manner.
All at once, my dislike for Andy hit me like a tidal wave. I ruined my favorite tie and this asshole ate my candy bar? Andy, sensing my disappointment and anger, didn't say another word and I imagine what it would have been like if that shot gun would have gone off.
My name is Grant and these are My Funeral Home Stories.

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2023.05.29 01:03 Trash_Tia Camp Redwood is running out of counsellors! These children... THEY'RE NOT CHILDREN.

In hindsight, I should have listened to the kill-bill alarm bells in my head when eight-year-old Cassie announced she and her cabin mates were going to skip out on camp activities and play Operation instead.
Though it’s not like I didn’t have things on my mind. Seven counsellors had gone missing—along with our head counsellor who was supposed to be taking care of us.
It started out fairly normal. I mean, one or two counselors wasn’t bad, right?
Lily and Joey had been drowning in sexual tension for a while, so nobody was surprised when they sneaked into the woods for what I could only guess was the most uncomfortable sex ever. But then they didn’t come back.
Teddy and Yuri went to look for them, and then they too also disappeared. It was almost like a wild animal was lying in wait for another unsuspecting teenager to cross its path.
With six of us left, I was definitely freaking out.
I wasn’t expecting summer camp to be like this. I did consider working in my local Sephora, but mom had a preference—and whether I was eighteen years old or not, she was getting her way. So, it was goodbye civilization, and hello Canadian wilderness.
There were fifteen kids queued up in front of me for lunch, and I was having a hard time keeping that optimistic Camp Redwood smile.
I couldn’t help constantly counting how many hours it had been since the latest disappearance, Connor.
He was supposed to be helping with getting the emergency generator going, after the electricity sizzled out.
The boy was gone an hour later. This was happening fast. Whatever was going on with the counsellors was burning through all of us. Would it happen to me?
I had seen so many TV shows and movies set in a summer camp where every camper and counsellor was doomed to die in the grossest way possible. Was that going to happen to us?
I tightened my grip around the stupid ladle I had found myself stirring, a giant pot of chocolate syrup. Watching watery chocolate drip from the edge, I felt nauseous. Of all the summer camp’s mom had to send me to, it had to be the one with vanishing counsellors and zero adult authority. Which meant we were the authority. Twelve teenagers who came to relax and babysit a bunch of little kids before college.
We had to put on brave faces and pretend everything was absolutely fine—and we weren’t all terrified out of our fucking minds.
At the corner of my eye, I glimpsed Harry offering piggybacks to a bunch of little kids, with one of the littles, Eleanor, wrapping her arms around his neck and squealing.
From the look on the boy’s face, he wanted to stop. It was hard to keep a façade when reality was becoming harder and harder to bear. Abandoning his hat completely, Harry was dripping with sweat, trying to twist his lips into the Camp Redwood grin. But looking closer, as he galloped across the cabin with Eleanor holding on for dear life, the guy was ready to collapse. I didn’t blame him.
Entertaining the kids was supposed to be Teddy’s assignment—and he was who knows where. I had taken over lunch duties for Lily, who had joined the long list of the missing.
Harry was supposed to be joining the search party for the missing councellors, but had ended up becoming the little’s personal punching bag.
When I first met him, Harry Carlisle had been the kid who sat on the side-lines and offered sarcastic remarks and crude jokes. Now, he had been reduced to a playground ride the kids pretended didn’t have an off switch.
He had enjoyed maybe the first two rides to raise morale, but now I could see the strain in his eyes. “Ow!” Harry winced when the little girl’s fingers prodded at his eyes. “Hey! Eleanor, not my eyes!” He was dangerously close to toppling over, though managed to catch his footing, ordering all of them off of his back. “Horse Rides are over!” He cupped his mouth, shouting across the cabin when a group of kids surrounded him with equally terrifying faces. Harry backed away and threw his hands up. “Come on, guys, my back isn’t built for all of you!”
“Horsey!” The kids shouted back in a cacophony of giggles.
It was 10 against one.
Against two, if I got involved. Which wasn’t going to happen. There was no way I was putting effort into play-fighting a bunch of eight-year-olds. Harry shot me a hopeful look, though I pretended not to see, busying myself with slightly burned nuggets.
Running his fingers through thick strands of sandy colored hair, Harry pulled a face when a little girl, Phoebe, was brave enough to step forward.
“No.” Harry shook his head, squeezing the front of his counsellor shirt practically glued to him. The temperature still hadn’t let up, and it was heading towards 8PM. Night-time, I thought dizzily. It was almost bedtime, and still no adults. “I refuse to surrender,” He told her. “Phoebe, I am not joking around when I’m saying my back is hurting. We’ve been playing horsey’s for two hours.”
“So?”
“So!” Harry couldn’t yell or hiss, or swear at them. That was a big no-no with kids.
However, I could see he was coming close to breaking that rule. “Because I’m tired,” he said through a Camp Redwood grin, which was quickly twitching into a grimace.
I think all of us had given up with the fake enthusiasm when our colleagues started to vanish. Now, we were just shells of our former happy selves. “And… uh… did you know that if you ride a horsey at this time, the ghosts will come and get you?”
When a boy opened his mouth, his eyes widening with fright, Harry realized his mistake.
“I mean the nice ghosts! Yeah! The uh, the nice ghosts who haunt..I mean play in these woods? It’s a well-known Camp Redwood legend that ghosts don’t like horse rides. In fact,” his lips curved into a devilish smile now he had several faces staring at him. The kids dropped onto the ground to listen, their hands clasped in their laps. This was the quietest they had been all day. I could understand though. Harry had taken the reins around the campfire telling ghost stories for three nights in a row, and the guy was a damn good storyteller.
With every eye on him, Harry lowered his voice into a whisper. “Do you guys want to know what they do?”
The kids nodded with wide eyes.
“They sneak into unsuspecting cabin’s…”
“Harry.”
Rowan’s voice came from outside in a warning. The window was open, and the guy was standing watch to see if any counsellors came back. Since the only adult had disappeared, he had been appointed leader—and the guy was taking himself a little too seriously.
His warning was valid though. Sometimes Harry’s ghost stories were a little too scary for little kids, who’s Imaginations tended to run wild—especially at night. Olive, my cabin-mate, had to give up her bed for a little girl who was convinced Harry’s depiction of Slenderman, “The tree boy” was going to sneak into her bed and turn her into an apple seed.
“Did I say sneak into cabin’s? I meant dance around the woods…” Harry corrected himself. “And they look for their next unsuspecting victim…”
“Harry!”
“Friend.” Harry swallowed his words when a little boy’s eyes went wide. “I mean they are looking for a friend! So, the point of my story is…”
“Horsey rides get us new friends?” Phoebe wasn’t buying it. I could tell from the slight arch of her brow and her widening smile.
The girl shook dark curls out of her face, smirking. I think it was her pleading eyes which won him over. Because, with a sigh which definitely wasn’t joking around, the guy dropped onto his knees and practically spat at her to climb on his back—and she did, plonking one sparkling shoe on top of the boy’s spine with enough force to send him onto his stomach. I might have been imagining it, but since when were these littles so outlandishly spiteful?
The little girl was grinning. Not because she could ride her “horsey” but because Harry looked like he was going to either wring her neck, or wring his own. Mom had a “talk” before I started here, and she made sure to tell me that if adult authority is nowhere to be seen, little kids will start to act out.
I could definitely call it acting out, but I had spent all day with her several days earlier playing with dolls and having a teddy bear picnic when she admitted she didn’t want to swim in the lake with the other kids. Phoebe had been shy and only spoke to me through her teddy bear, so what had changed?
Could the lack of adults really be scaring the kids that much?
“Miss Josie?”
I wasn’t paying attention, half noticing some kids had just helped themselves, piling chicken nuggets and cookies on plastic plates and hurrying to their seats like I couldn’t see them.
Blinking away brain fog, I found myself face to face with Eli, who was probably my favorite camper.
You’re not supposed to have personal preferences when working with little kids, because your opinions could upset them.
However, it was incredibly hard not to like Eli.
Hiding behind a mop of brown curls, the boy was one of the more vocal kids in the group. Eli said he wanted to be an inventor when he was older, and he wanted to make robots. The kid had asked me if I wanted to see his robot collection, but I was too busy with setting up camp activities. Standing in front of me and clutching his tray, the boy was frowning.
“Josie, I just saw some kids steal chicken nuggets.”
I shrugged, shovelling a large portion on his tray. “Well, you can have some extra too.”
Eli’s smile wasn’t as big as usual. “Where’s Teddy?”
I pretended to be oblivious, hastily adding more nuggets to his tray as if I could keep his mouth shut with extra food. “He’ll be back soon! Teddy is just playing in the woods.”
“No, he’s not.”
At first, I thought I’d heard the boy wrong. The kid wasn’t looking at me, counting his nuggets as usual with the prongs of his plastic fork.
I leaned forward with my best smile. “I’m sorry, what was that, Eli?”
The kid lifted his head with a wide grin. “Can I borrow a knife, Josie?”
“Why do you need a knife?”
Leaning forward, the boy shrugged. “There’s a squirrel caught in a trap,” he said. “I want to put it out of its misery, Miss Josie. It’s in a lot of pain.”
That was… dark.
“Well, I can’t give you a knife…” I trailed off, my gaze finding Harry and the growing line of kids awaiting a horse-ride. “But! How about you go and ask Harry for a piggy-back ride?” I pointed to myself with a forced grin. “I’ll save the squirrel!” And when the boy’s eyes filled with tears and he shook his head, I reached out, grasped his hand, and squeezed it as tight as I could. “Eli, we don’t need to do that, okay? I’m sure the squirrel can be saved and I’ll make sure to take it to the vet, okay?”
“But what if it doesn’t need saving?”
I squeezed tighter. “I’ll save it, Eli. I promise.”
Eli didn’t look convinced, but he nodded with a grumble. “Okay.” He said, before twisting around and joining the other kids torturing Harry. Immediately, I left my station—whether Rowan liked it or not—and headed outside to look for this supposedly dying squirrel. That was something we didn’t need. The sky was darkening when I made it into the woods, cotton candy clouds blurring through the thick canopy of trees. Eli said it was near the sign pointing towards the lake. Though I couldn’t see anything. Odd. That thought retracted in my head, however, when I stepped forward, and a squelching sound cut through the silence of my own heavy breaths mixing with insect chitters and nightlife buzzing above me and beneath me. The wet sounding squelch twisted my gut, and when I stared down at the ground, I didn't know what I was expecting.
A squashed squirrel, perhaps? In Eli’s words, the poor thing had been on the edge of death. Though, when I was thinking about it, there were no animal traps around camp. That was basic health and safety. So, what the fuck was I looking at? The bottom of my shoe was caked in dried blood, but it was the thing which was stamped into the dirt which sent my heart into my throat. It looked like an eye.
But looking closer as I lowered myself to the ground, I glimpsed something metallic, something glistening around the pupil. I picked up a stick and prodded it, though the thing didn’t move. It was definitely an eye—the eye of some kind of animal, judging from the pigmentation and the color of the iris.
But it was the metallic pieces around the eye which was throwing me off. Part of a trap, maybe? It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that a poor critter had been ripped apart, and a wild bear had dropped its dinner near the camp—and the metal encasing its eye was most likely pieces of trap.
Peering closer, though, I glimpsed silver slithers in what appeared to be the destroyed nerve caked to my shoe. After scraping most of it off, I caught glistening pieces of blood stained metal catching the late-setting sun. This time, I pinched a piece between my forefinger and thumb. It didn’t look like a bear-trap. The metal itself wasn’t serrated or old. In fact, it was new.
Which begged the question: What was this thing?
Whatever it was, it had started converting what looked like a critter’s eye, before stopping. Was it a virus? When that thought slammed into me, I fell back with a hiss, swiping my hands on my shirt.
“What are you doing?”
I almost jumped out of my skin, diving to my feet.
Carmel was standing behind me, grasping what looked like her sixth or seventh coffee. The girl had been running to and from the coffee machine all day, and I had been silently counting how much caffeine she was consuming. Carmel had been a well put together and fairly popular girl when camp started. She immediately had everyone following her beck and call, all of the boy’s (and girl’s) following her around.
Carmel wasn't straight. She made that clear on the bus to camp, announcing she wasn’t interested in guy’s, and that she had a girlfriend back home. Still though, the guy’s still followed her because... well, she was pretty.
Carmel was my bunk-mate and had woken me up on three separate occasions at 6am to go through the exact same hair and makeup routine. Now though, there was no sign of makeup or even that she had brushed her hair.
Instead of its usual tidy blonde ponytail, Carmel’s curls were tied into raggedy pigtails with ribbons I was sure she had stolen from a camper’s doll. I think what was keeping her going was coffee.
Carmel regarded me with too-wide eyes and a Camp Redwood smile we all knew was fake. She was grasping onto her coffee cup for dear life. “Josie!” she jumped when I jumped, which almost made me laugh. “Rowan’s having an emergency meeting in his cabin,” she said.
“So, whatever you’re doing can wait.”
Her gaze flicked to the ground. “What… are you doing?”
For a brief moment, I considered telling Carmel I may have found what looked like a virus which turned flesh and blood to metal—before I remembered her reaction when a spider had crept into our cabin.
Whatever this thing was, keeping it a secret for now was probably what was best. Making sure I was standing on the thing, I shrugged. “I was looking for the others.”
Carmel cocked her head, before resting her coffee on the ground. “In the dirt?”
“Footprints, Carmel.”
The girl looked confused before shaking her head. “Okay, whatever. Tell the others I’ll be there in a sec, I just need to make sure the kids are okay. We’re putting a movie on for them in the lunch hall, so that will hopefully distract them for maybe two hours.”
I nodded. “Did anyone find a phone?”
“Not with signal.”
“Carmel.” I had to fight back the urge to yell at her to keep her voice down. Kids were curious, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we had some littles peeking into our conversation. “You’re okay.” I said softly.
“I mean, we’re not okay, because yes, things are very.. screwed up right now, but we need to be… optimistic.” I exhaled out a breath, searching for eyes in the dark. I tried to smile, tried to keep up that Camp Redwood façade we were all held hostage by until the last day of camp (According to rule 5 in the Camp Redwood counsellor handbook, all counsellors must retain a smile and a positive attitude. If any counselor is caught making a frowny face, or spreading what we call “unhappiness” we will be forced to send the counselor home).
At this point, I didn’t give a fuck—but part of me didn’t want to scare the little kids.
“No, Josie.” The girl grasped hold of my shoulders with a grin rivalling the joker. “I am so sick of being told to keep smiling, because what is that doing? Three of my cabin-mates are missing! I’m the one left, and Rowan and co expect me to keep up this act? We are fucked!"
She cupped her mouth. “F. U. C. K. E. D. We have zero adults, an unexplainable loss of power every few hours which makes no sense in the middle of nowhere—I mean what the fuck is out there which is sucking that much power, huh? There is no explanation! There should be an explanation. I should be able to think, “oh, yeah! That’s why! But no. Things are happening, and I don’t know why they’re happening. Rowan is trying to force us to act like things are okay —but in reality? He is shitting himself, Josie! We are ALL shitting ourselves!”
I took a step back, keeping hold of her hand. Carmel was trembling, her hands clammy and slimy entangled in mine. “He's just trying to keep the kids from freaking out."
She groaned, tears glistening in her eyes. “Okay, yeah! I’m blaming them because they keep acting like everything is okay—”
“Everything IS okay.” I turned to her with what I hoped was a reassuring smile—knowing damn well about the thing I’d found in the dirt. If that thing could spread, it would have a field day in an enclosed space like a summer camp.
I noticed my own hands which had been touching the thing making contact with Carmel, and dropped my hands, inwardly squirming.
If that thing was a virus, I was already fucked.
Maybe Carmel too.
If it was fast acting, it could explain the counsellor disappearances. I was already putting together a plan in my head as we headed back to the main cabin. We had to put together a search party. Some of us would stay with the kids, while a small group would venture into the woods to try and look for traces of the missing. If I was right, we would find a horror scene in the woods, and yes, that would be the time to panic.
If I was wrong, however, there was still hope.
“Are we going to be okay?”
Carmel’s voice sliced into my thoughts, and I took a moment to drink in the camp around us.
Usually, when the sky was turning twilight, it would be bustling with campers and counselors toasting marshmallows on the fire and gathering around to fall asleep to Harry’s ghost stories. Carmel would be knelt with a bunch of kids, watching a YouTube video they had all insisted on her watching, while Rowan would be hiding behind his book with his knees to his chest, his gaze glued to every page he flicked through, ignoring everyone.
Teddy, making funny faces for kids who were scared, and Connor, handing out plates of burgers and hot dogs. I remembered feeling safe and at home, cosy around the flickering orange of the fire as chatter turned to laughter and white-noise in my head. After the kids went back to their cabins, the group of us would resume positions around the fire, but this time it was more… intimate. With Allison in her cabin, we kind of ignored her rules all together.
Making out happened, because of course it did. Beers stolen from Allison’s mini fridge and raging hormones, as well as late-night skinny dipping in the lake did that. Couples went off into the woods, and we all felt completely comfortable and at home with each other.
Looking around at that moment, I felt sick to my stomach. That feeling was gone.
The feeling of family and familiarity and friendship. What I was looking at now was that same log we had all sat on, now turned on its side—hot dog buns and candy wrappers littering the ground. It was a ghost camp.
I could still see Connor’s jacket slung on the ground, and Lili’s bright pink ray bans sitting on a beer can. Because there were no adults to yell at us to clean up after ourselves. I was frowning at the skeleton of the fire when Carmel nudged me. “Hey.” Her voice was shaking slightly. “Josie? You didn’t answer my question.” Carmel wanted me to be the voice of reason, and I wasn’t that. I was just as scared as her.
There was only so much I could sugar-coat, and I gave up doing that after the third counsellor disappeared. All I could offer her was forced optimism.
“Yes.” I said. “Just keep the kids busy, alright?”
“Right.”
When I was twisting around and power-walking to Rowan’s cabin, I shouted over my shoulder, “Give them some of those animal crackers!”
“What animal crackers?”
I turned to elaborate, but Carmel was gone.
When I finally got to Rowan’s cabin, I was sweating through my shirt, and had an idea of what I was going to tell the others. It was… a thing. Which could be considered a disease or a virus—so it was vital that we split into two groups; half of us would search for the others, while the others would look for anything to get in contact with the outside world. An emergency landline, laptop, or cell phone.
I did have one problem, which was lack of evidence. All which was left from the thing I’d found was stuck to my foot. The rest of it was buried in the dirt. It was too dark to search for it, and we would be wasting time doing so.
All of that was in my mind and tangled on my tongue, one single string of incomprehensible gibberish I wasn’t even sure was English, when I stepped into Rowan’s cabin, where four sets of eyes met mine. Olive, cross legged on the floor with her arms folded, Harry, pacing up and down with a brand new bruise blooming under his eye, courtesy of Eleanor almost poking his eyes out—and Rowan himself sitting on top bunk, his legs swinging off of the side.
The guy wasn’t built to be our leader, originally being the laziest of our group, opting for sitting in a tree with a book, rather than helping set up camp activities. Yet he had become our default guy in charge because he so happened to be wearing the head counsellor hat when Allison disappeared. Admittedly, it suited him, the bright red of the cap contrasted his dark curls under a late setting sun through the back window, setting strands of straying hair on fire.
The hat was a little too big for his head, though, slipping over his eyes.
Rowan looked like a divorced father of two, dark circles bruising his eyes, and a very “dad-like” scowl curling on his lips.
With a clipboard pressed to his chest, and a pen he was chewing on, the boy resembled a grown man who had just caught his daughter coming in after curfew. “Josie.” Spitting the pen’s lid out of his mouth, he scribbled something down. I had no doubt he was tracking my attendance for these stupid crisis meetings. His eyes were wild, scanning me for answers. “Where the fuck is Carmel?”
I shut the door behind me, leaning against it with my arms folded. “So, we can swear now?”
“Yes.” Rowan rolled his eyes. “There are no kids here, so go crazy,” he pointed at me with the pen. “Carmel. Where is she?”
“Keeping the kids busy,” Callan’s muffled voice came from the bottom bunk. I could barely see the guy lying on his stomach, his face stuffed into a pillow. “It was my idea to play Shrek for them, but the little shits said they haven’t seen it,” the boy lifted his head, his lips carved into a scowl. “I’m sorry, am I tripping? Everyone’s seen Shrek! Do these kids expect the Minecraft movie?”
“They don’t like that, either,” Harry stopped pacing the cabin. “Eleanor looked at me like I was crazy when I asked if she liked it."
“Fortnite, too.” Olive said, a cushion pressed to her chest. “I suggested playing it a few days ago, and like, zero kids knew what it was.”
“Six counsellors are missing,” Rowan raised his voice over the other’s chatter. “And you’re questioning what games they like?” His eyes found mine once more. “So, Carmel is with the kids? You’re absolutely sure of it?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I just saw her five minutes ago.”
“Great.” Rowan said, sarcastically. “I’m sure she won’t go missing under mysterious circumstances.”
“Stop.” Olive shot him a glare, throwing a cushion in his face. “I told you. They’re probably lost—- or maybe they went to get help?”
“We’ve all been trained to know every inch of these woods,” Rowan catapulted the cushion right back at her. “They’re not lost.”
“Well, where are they?!” Callan sat up, bringing his knees to his chest. I had never seen the guy looked this vulnerable. “Allison made sense. She probably had other duties, and left us to look after the kids. But six counselors? All of them disappearing—- our phone signal completely cutting out, electricity cutting off, not once, but twice? What is even sucking all of our power?”
“I got the emergency generator working,” Olive raised her arm. “Connor and I managed it before…” she trailed off.
“Before Connor disappeared.” Callan finished for her. “And before him, it was Joey, Lily, Mira, Yuri, Noah, and Teddy. Which isn’t a fucking coincidence,” he shot Rowan a look, who glared down at his lap. I could tell the boy didn’t want to lead all of us, come up with plans and answer questions we desperately needed answering. His job was to look after us, as well as the littles, and so far, he was doing a pretty good job. I could tell by his expression that he thought the opposite, but he had managed to keep the kids from finding out about something as sinister as someone actively kidnapping counsellors.
He made sure they were fed, entertained, and safe watching a movie—while we were scared for our lives. Rowan was keeping up the façade no matter how scared he was. The boy dropped his head into his lap with a sigh. It looked like he might fall asleep before he slammed the clipboard into his face to wake himself up.
Nobody wanted to admit what Callan was saying, but we were all definitely thinking it. “This was planned.” Callan continued.
“Someone out here is fucking with us, very clearly trying to freak us out. Now they've got six of us. ” He spread out his arms. “How long until one of the littles gets taken, huh? A bunch of 18 year olds aren’t going to satisfy them, so what about when they start taking campers? We are in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere with a serial kidnapper on the loose, and did we really just leave fifteen kids in the care of a girl who thought Australia was in England?”
“In Carmel’s defence, she was black-out drunk when she said that,” Olive murmured.
“Voice down!” Rowan hissed. “Do you want to scare them?!” His gaze flicked to me. “Did you do a headcount during dinner?”
I nodded. “Fifteen kids all accounted for. Ten are in the lunch hall, and five girls are in Cassie’s cabin playing Operation.”
“All day?” Olive spoke up. “Weren’t they playing that this morning? I tried to get into their cabin to give them breakfast, but they just shooed me away and locked the door.”
“Fuck.” Rowan ran his fingers down his face. “Alright, I’ll go and see what’s going on with them. Knowing Cassie and her friends, they’re probably zonked out on stolen candy. When all of the kids are accounted for in the lunch cabin, we gather outside.”
I swallowed, speaking up. “I actually wanted to talk to you guys about something.”
Rowan lifted his head, jutting the edge of the clipboard into his chin. “Go on…”
“I found something?” I pulled a face. “I mean, think I’ve found something?”
I wasn't sure how to explain to a dwindling group of exhausted teenagers that there may be something even more terrifying than potential kidnappers out there. Four blank faces started back at me, and Rowan leaned forward with a frown. “Like, in general? Josie, we don’t have time to go foraging.”
“You could call it a lead,” I said. “But I need your eyes to find it.”
“Uh-huh. But what is it?”
Thinking back to what exactly I had seen, I had no idea how to describe it. “It’s better if I just… showed you.”
Rowan looked sceptical, but nodded. “Alright. Josie comes with me. We’ll check out Allison’s cabin again to look for an emergency line, and you can show me whatever this ‘thing’ is you’ve found. Then we’ll escort Cassie and the other girl’s to the lunch cabin. Every camper needs an escort from now on. The rest of you? Act normal. If the kids see you freaking out, they will also freak out—and we need to keep up morale.” The boy pointed to Olive. “Olive, you sit in with the kids and look after them. Callan, check out the emergency generator. Harry, the kids see you as a playground ride, so use that to your advantage. Offer them horse rides if they’re scared. And with the ghost stories, it’s making it worse. Give them piggybacks.”
Harry rolled his eyes. “Do I have a choice?”
“No.”
Rowan cleared his throat. “We all keep up appearances. If the others turn up, after getting high or… I don’t know, having an orgy in the woods—- I will fucking kill them.” The way he smiled through his teeth, jumping off the bunk, his toes primed like a wild animal, I knew he wasn’t joking. If this was a well-constructed prank the other counselors were playing, I had no doubt Rowan would rip them apart for leaving him as a reluctant leader. To my surprise, the others wandered off with their tasks.
I watched Rowan lift up his pillow and pull out a pack of animal crackers, ripping open the bag and pouring the contents into his mouth. He caught my eye, crunching through mini animal crackers. “I didn’t have lunch,” he said through a mouthful.
I couldn’t help feeling a sense of relief as we headed across camp, Rowan in front of me, while I lagged behind.
“So, what’s the plan?” I caught up to him, almost tripping over a log.
The guy didn’t turn around. “I am completely winging it,” he said through a choked laugh. “I have no idea what I’m doing, and if I’m honest? I just want to go home, dude. I haven’t looked after this many kids in my life, and if I have to smile one more time as a little brat, I am going to fucking lose my mind.” He heaved out a breath. “I am making this up as I go along.”
I laughed that time. “That’s… comforting.”
“Yeah?” He turned to shoot me a grin. “Well, rest assured I am just about as scared—if not more scared than you,” as we stopped in front of Cassie’s cabin, his gaze found mine. “Is it me…” he said softly, “Or does the lunch cabin seem quiet.”
He was right. The windows were dark when they should have been illuminated by the TV screen. Instead of answering, I stepped in front of him, grasping hold of the cabin door. “Cassie?” I knocked three times. “Girl’s, are you okay in there? It’s Josie and Rowan.” I tried the door, and it slid open. Shooting a look at the boy behind me, I turned back to the door. “We’re coming in, okay?”
“Wait!”
Cassie squeaked from inside. “But he’s not finished!”
Ignoring the coil of dread unravelling in my gut, I forced the door open and stepped into unusually milky white light which flooded the cabin. The first thing I saw was eight-year-old Cassie, sitting cross legged with her back to me. She was sitting in a circle with the other girls, no doubt playing their game.
When I stepped closer, however, I noticed something pooling across the wooden floor. It must have been juice or water that they had spilled. I took another step, but this time, clammy fingers wrapped around my wrist and yanked me back. Rowan didn't speak, but his eyes were elsewhere. Initially, they had been drinking in the cabin before they found oblivion entirely. I heard his breath start to accelerate, his grip tightening on my wrist.
I had half a mind to pull away, before I saw the body shaped carcass the girls were sitting around. In the dim light of the cabin, it used to be a person. Teddy. I could still see parts of an identity, freckled cheeks and eyes which were still open, still staring at the sky.
But that was where the similarities to the missing counsellor ended. The thing which used to be Teddy was more of a shell, a scooped out thing resembling a human body. What sent me stumbling backwards, my mouth open in a silent scream, was the almost surgical efficiency of each organ's removal, like it really was a game of operation. His heart, lungs, and intestines were in one pile-- while his brain was cupped between little Cassie's bloody hands— and when my gaze found the little girl, Nina, hiding behind dark curly hair, I was seeing what looked like a toy robot’s head in her hands. In my head, I was thinking about the eye with the metallic pieces glittering around its pupil, and something turned in my gut.
Did I find a human eye?
I was staring at the crevice inside the boy's skull, and the boxes of surgical equipment piled on the girl's bunks, when Rowan finally pulled me back, and I was stumbling straight onto my ass. "We need to go." Rowan spoke through a croak. Cassie’s words rattled in my head. Teddy, I thought.
Teddy wasn’t finished.
"Josie. Get up. Now!" My head was spinning, and I was sure I'd thrown up. I didn’t even realize we had managed to stumble from the girl’s cabin before cool air grazed my face, tickling my cheeks. Something wet and warm, and lumpy was spattering the front of my shirt.
Before I could coerce words, the boy was pulling me to my feet, and I was seeing stars in my eyes, blinking brightly. When the two of us started forwards in a run, Rowan stopped abruptly. I followed his gaze to find several kids surrounding his cabin, where Harry, Olive and Callan were. Maybe I was hallucinating, but Eleanor and Phoebe, both of whom wielding weapons where I had no idea where they had gotten them—looked… taller? Rowan didn’t waste time, dragging me back. “Allison’s cabin.” He spoke in cry which became a sob, pulling me across camp, stumbling over rocky ground.
“We need a phone. Fuck, we need a phone. We need a phone.” Rowan was struggling to stand, occasionally bending over and choking up dust.
“They were playing Operation."
Literal operation.
“But they’re just kids!” I choked out.
Little kids, who had surgically removed every organ inside Teddy’s body.
Little kids, who were hunting the other counsellors down, and would surely be coming for us.
Allison’s cabin was thankfully further into the woods. When we were safe inside and Rowan was locking the door, I dry heaved several times, unable to get the sight of glistening gore splattering the cabin floor from my mind. “Josie.” Rowan was already tearing apart the cabin. “Work with me here, okay? We don’t… we don’t have fucking time to freak out, or to barf—we need to help. Now.” Rowan was almost in tears, and when he hit the ground on his knees, I took over. I searched Allison’s desk first. Nothing of importance, just documents and invoices. Digging through her draw, there was still nothing. We were running out of time.
Abandoning the desk, I went through her suitcase and bags. When I was crawling under her bed to try and find a weapon, Rowan hissed out. “Wait.” When I turned to him, he was still kneeling, but his foot was clamping down on a loose plank. The guy didn’t hesitate, pulling at the loose plank, which, to my confusion, revealed what looked to me like a trap door.
Rowan turned to me. “You’re kidding.”
I could only stare at the trap door revealing stone steps. He peered down, his voice echoing. “Allison has a fucking secret bunker?”
His lips curved into a surprisingly childish grin which took me off guard. “Oh, wow, that’s so cooooool!”
Lifting my head at the sound of loud squealing, I glimpsed a group of littles led by Eleanor stalking towards us. Eleanor had a hostage. Harry. And with the way she was sticking the blade of a scary looking knife to his throat, I figured she meant business.
Their height difference was almost comical. The eighteen year old guy had to hunch over so the little girl could successfully keep him prisoner. Behind them in the trees, I could see something illuminating the dark, an electric blue light bathing their faces.
So, that was there the power was going.
But what the fuck were these eight-year-old’s doing?
“Josie!” Rowan hissed from down below. He had already climbed down.
I joined him, struggling down the stone steps, before replacing the loose plank. If these kids were as smart as I thought, it wouldn’t take them long to realize the loose plank—also a trap door. Allison’s bunker was more of a control room. There were multiple screens lit up, a chair in front of a working MacBook. The phone-line was cut. But that didn’t make sense.
The kids were unaware of the bunker, so who cut the phone lines? Rowan was on the laptop, struggling to get through the password protection, so I turned my attention to piles of cardboard boxes.
When I opened them, I found myself staring at animal crackers.
There were hundreds of them, packed on top of each other. Looking further, digging through the boxes, I found a piece of old crumpled paper which looked ancient.
REGARDING PROJECT SPEARHEAD SUBJECTS:
PLEASE DO NOT INGEST UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. IF MULTIPLE SUBJECTS INGEST, PLEASE USE SELF DESTRUCT.
ONLY USE IN CASES SUCH AS IMMINENT DESTRUCTION TO THE PLANET/THREAT OF NUCLEAR WAR.
(PLEASE CONTACT FAMILIES IN ADVANCE. MAKE SURE TO INGEST WITH WATER TO AVOID NEUROLOGICAL SYMPTOMS SUCH AS PSYCHOSIS, EXTREME VIOLENCE. PLEASE APPROACH SUBJECTS WITH CAUTION.
Something ice cold slithered down my spine.
Abandoning the boxes, I searched through a cabinet filled with files which were crumbling apart from age. I picked one at random and flicked through it.
Eleanor Summer’s.
Sex: Female.
DOB: 08/05/1977.
Initially, I thought I was reading the dates wrong. But then, with my heart in my throat, I was grasping for other files.
Eli Evermore.
Sex: Male.
'DOB: 08/03/1979.
“Rowan.” I managed to get out through a breath.
“Mm?”
“They’re not children.”
The boy rubbed his eyes, frowning. His eyes were half lidded, almost confused. “Huh?”
“Eleanor.” I whispered. “Is forty five years old.”
He nodded slowly, turning back to the laptop. “How do you spell… documents? I’m looking for digital versions but I can’t find any.”
“You don’t know how to spell documents?”
“It’s been a hard day.” The boy whined, tipping his head back and blowing a raspberry.
Whatever I was going to say was choked in the back of my throat, when a loud bang sounded from above, the sounds of childish giggling coming through the floorboards. But the laughter didn’t sound like little kids. No, it sounded like teenager’s who were acting like little kids. I stared at the boxes of animal crackers, and then at the file confirming Eleanor’s real age.
My own words shuddered through me, and I remembered finding Teddy’s dismembered carcass in Cassie’s cabin. When I had caught her gaze, the little girl didn’t look scared, and somehow, her fingers wrapped around the scalpel looked just right.
Like the little bitch knew exactly what she was doing.
“Helloooo?” Harry’s voice was a hysterical giggle. “Olly, Olly, Oxen freeee!”
“Are you in heeeeeeere?” Carmel joined in. I could hear their footsteps above, dancing across the room.
Clamping my hand over my mouth, I dragged my knees to my chest and prayed they weren’t smart enough to figure out we were right underneath them.
Knowing the truth about them, though? I wasn’t counting on it.
….
That was an hour ago.
We’re still stuck down here, and I can get a connection here—thank god. For some reason, Alison has blocked all social media. We need help. We’re at Camp Redwood, and these kids ARE NOT KIDS.
Whatever Project Spearhead is was designed to keep them here.
The phone-line is cut so we can’t get help from whoever was helping Allison. I am counting on you guys.
Get us out of here!
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