How long do rancho shocks last

Long story short - I matched with someone on a trip out of my hometown and we continued to talk on the app we met on for a while, and also shared a few phone calls. The distance never really bothered me, but recently, he suggested he fly over for a weekend and it made my stomach do a backflip from how sudden it seemed? We’ve been talking for 2 weeks.
The thing that’s also causing me some confusion is that he seems REALLY into me despite never having a video chat or in person date, etc. I just don’t see how someone could want to fly out for someone they just met. That being said, he also seemed very casual about it and mentioned how it would be totally reasonable if I was uncomfy with that / needed to take things slower and that he was more than ok to hear any boundaries I had.
I can provide more details if needed, but that’s basically the gist of it! Has anyone experienced something similar? Does this sound super red-flaggy? I really want to just be honest with him and hope that he’ll be respectful, continue to get to know me, etc. but having been in an abusive relationship, I’m terrified I’m repeating history.

Its sweet that my confusion is slowly vanishing. Unfortunately, its quite hard to align emotions to insights, I know these are true, but I keep gaslighting myself.
1) Searching for the psychology of evil people (sexually) and submitting to them only happens after daydreaming of a pleasant and healthy situation with a romantic interest. I think this is because I feel compelled to do so because I want to be in control in case something goes wrong. I believe I search for their psychology to attempt to take MORAL control and make them see less evil. I always fail; I always dissociate. 2) I begin to take myself out of depression if I spend a long enough time around women. It does not have to be sexual; it just has to be calming, homeostatic and have some guaranteed consistency. I also lose all desire to look up pornography or compulsively react to anything sexual (Including submission to evil). I completely lose my anxiety; I speak clearly, I no longer stutter, I don't feel insecure. Despite the seemingly decreased libido I have many signs of increased testosterone; I even have better blood-flow. I don't feel sexually attracted to women, but its as though women activate my reason for existence, its temporary, complex and doesn't sound sustainable. Is it possible that it's just because women are far more emotionally focused than men? My entire philosophy for the reason of existence is emotionally focused; maybe that's why there is such a massive explosion in consciousness for me. I might be sexist toward men or placing women on a pedestal because of their emotionality. 3) I consistently daydreamed and imagined a romantic love interest; I compulsively reacted sexuality, but in the hours before I spoke to women, I responded compulsively toward the scary imaginative love interest. I became depressed/dissociated; I had to wait two days to get the same effect I get from women's emotions. I feel as though I'm currently a dissociative asexual. If I ever react sexually, its just a compulsion nowadays, its so much worse. If I experience anything sexual I can feel my brain chemistry die. 4) Dissociation got 10x worse when I hit puberty; I now had a constant reminder of sex, there was much more reason to react compulsively. I didn't see anyone as sexually attractive then, and I don't now, its weird. I watched porn, felt nothing from it. I think its because, as strange as it sounds, I may not be sexually attracted to people via sight anymore; it can possibly just be sound/smell that I feel comfortable with, and touch is far too scary. 5) I have no memories of my life for a reason. I need to find somewhere safe before I acquire memory, but I know I have too many signs of abuse to deny. I need a therapist to remember things for me and to help me with the complexity of trauma, its almost impossible with dissociation. 6) I overexaggerate arousal when I'm scared/dissociated. 7) My inner critic really wants me dissociated; it completely denies asexuality, I'm always gaslighting myself. I know what's true, and I keep checking. Its like my inner critic takes my emotions to change my mind and I'm too exhausted to fight back against it. 8) I wish I could communicate that I have no memory to friends//family, but I have no idea how someone would react to a friend with no memory. Its impossible to hold a real relationship with my close acquaintances if I go deeper then I've effectively lied to everyone for years.

I am a foster child. Before I was fostered, I was an only child. Now I have three siblings.
Growing up an only child made me fiercely independent. I've had a hard life since I was young and I learnt how to cope with difficulties. I can't say I'm perfect but I've been strong.
Now having a sister who had grown up in a completely different environment from me, I was surprised by how she deals with her problems. She's 18 years old. Somehow every little inconvenience will ruin her day, she wants for a lot and mopes when she doesn't get them, she's easily envious, she's nonfunctional for days and leaves our room in a complete mess. Of course she's not all bad, she's become my best friend and we understand each other, we treat each other on dates sometimes, all the sisterly stuff. But often I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around her, afraid something might trigger her moods again, then she won't eat or sleep, and rehashes old problems. It's come to the point that it affects me as well. I try to comfort and help her as best as I can but I worry about what will happen to her without me, or if I get tired of it in the long term.
Can someone please help me? How do you tell if it's "kaartehan" or if someone's genuinely depressed? I am someone who believes there is some merit to resiliency (ofc not to the point of being abused), and I think her problems are something that can be brushed off. I may be wrong and it might mean the world to her. For more context, I think she's at an exploration phase, she wants to go to clubs (our parents won't let her, or they make sure she has a chaperone), and all those teenager things where she needs skincare and she worries that she's "glowed-down", etc. I think there are some academic worries as well but the parents don't pressure her. These are problems I don't fully understand because I've never had the opportunity to have them. It'd be very welcome if someone could share their own experience and enlighten me.
It affects me whenever she complains about things like how we don't have this or that, and I want to say life is like that but I don't because it might hurt her (we're not poor but we're not rich either). Or when she's being nonfunctional and asks me to do her assignments, which leaves me sleepless because I can't refuse her but I also have my own tasks to do, etc.
I've long wanted to tell her to be a bit more strong, but I don't know how. That approach may be a wrong move. I don't want to sound like I'm parroting things off YouTube like stoicism and being antifragile and whatnot.
Does she need a counselor? This family doesn't really believe in psychology, looks down on talks of depression so I don't know if this is an option. Or do I just weather it and let her grow up? Do I leave this to the parents? I suppose it's part of being an older sister now. How do I give her advice without hurting or invalidating her?

I went out to a bingo with my best friend and her son. I loved it, but all of a sudden, I start to sweat and feel cold. My chest started to hurt. I excused myself to the bathroom and then my friend told me "are you okay?" I wanted to put a strong face, but she noticed my complexion. She held my hands and massaged them a bit, then told me to take a breath. Thankfully her son didn't notice as he was playing.
I calmed down in some mins and we hugged. Truly, I couldn't have asked for domeone better to be there. It's seriously the first time I have an almost anxiety attack in public- I don't know what triggered it- was it because we were on the first floor (balcony area?), Was it because I don't usually like crowded places?
Either way, we finished the bingo, we didn't win but it was good nonethless. We all came back to our homes by bus. She told me to take care of myself and relax. I don't deserve her, really, it melted my heart.
But I worry that it was all of a sudden. I was doing alright, then I feel a heavy weight on my chest. Right now I feel it returning with such a force. I'm on my bed with my phone trying to let it all go, to calm down.
I don't want to pressure my family, I had some talk with them. Not directly per se, but with the "my friend has x thing, etc" and my dad said that depression/anxiety will pass". My mom didn't like me to have medication, I had Clonazepam that my cardiologist approved me, it helped me a bit but mom saw it as dangerous so I had to hide it. For reference, I'm an adult woman, struggling with money, hence I still live with them.
Sorry if it's a long text, I tend to explain how did I get to this. I just need advice, if there's any drinks (tea & such) or any other methods that you have that can have a lasting effect? What has worked better for any of you.
Thank you for reading.

Context: This is related to an article I read earlier today about Carlton and Essendon trying to turn King's Birthday Eve into another marquee matchup.
There's such a clear VIC and MCG bias in the scheduling of marquee games that it's absolutely nuts. Let's go through the 'Marquee Games' and have a look at the venue.
Season Opener - Rich v Carl - MCG ANZAC Day Eve - Melb v Rich - MCG ANZAC Day - Coll v Ess - MCG Kings Bday - Melb v Coll - MCG Dreamtime - Rich v Ess - MCG
Good Friday - Nth v ? - Marvel Showdown - Ade v PA - AO
There's literally only two games I can think of that AREN'T held at the MCG. (Also, the only Derby worth counting as a Marquee match is the Showdown, because it's the only Derby actually marketed as one).
I get all the arguments behind this, and I'm not suggesting that any of the big traditional games change teams, I love the ANZAC Day clash. But seriously AFL, maybe give some other teams a marquee match rather than giving Carlton and Essendon yet ANOTHER match.
GWS and Sydney have raised the issue all year of the AFL not doing enough to promote the sport north of the Barrassi line, yet when given the opportunity they just give marquee games to two big VIC clubs.
Personally I think the season opener should feature the losers of last year's Preliminary Final each year (i.e. 3rd vs 4th).
Why can't ANZAC Day Eve become the traditional GF Rematch? That way it gets shared around.
Or, when the idea for a new marquee game comes up, why can't they decide to look further than the same 5 clubs who get literally every single marquee match every season.
I know the argument is that they have bigger supporter bases to ensure maximum profit from ticket sales etc, but how can you expect other clubs to grow if they never get featured in these types of games? Of course Richmond are going to attract fans when they're always featuring in the biggest games of the year.
This also has a flow on effect to Richmond, Collingwood and Essendon being more desirable FA and trade destinations to players because they play in more big games. The rich just getting richer.
They don't even need to feature on public holidays. Why can't Brisbane v GC always be Saturday night in Rd 5 for example, or GWS vs Sydney be a Friday night in Rd1? Let the game build itself into a blockbuster match by being an established part of the AFL season, something fans know is coming, and the league can market properly.
Its a simple solution - all they have to do is give each of the interstate derbies a set day in the Calendar and a primetime TV slot, and then earnestly market them as marquee games. Then, give something like 'King's Bday Eve' to the Dogs and St Kilda, and make Hawks the traditional GF opponent. Then every team has at least one 'marquee' match per season, and the bigger teams can still have 2-3 to pull in ratings.
TLDR: Man rants about problem that literally everyone is aware of (except apparently the AFL).

Hey! You! Come shoot with us!
Every other month, /Archery has a four-week session of its league. Anyone can come join in, and just about any round type can be shot as long as it's on a standardized target from WA/IFAA/NFAA!
Rules and whatnot can be found in the wiki, linked here. In order to enter, I'll need your username, what bow type you shoot, what round type you wish to shoot (distance/target size/number of arrows shot), and three preliminary scores from your chosen type of round along with pictures of the scorecards.
If you participated last session, you are automatically transferred to the upcoming one, so no need to sign back up!
Rankings can be found here!
Score submissions can be made via the form found here.
We even have a League Discord channel! If you wish to join the channel, please change your displayed username to your Reddit username so I know who's requesting what of me!
If you have any questions or simply want to put your name onto the list, either PM me, or reply here! Please do not use Reddit chat; it is very unreliable at informing me that I have messages.
If you are already in League and you wish to withdraw, you must let me know ahead of time or you'll be left on the list and suffer the penalties of missing weeks!
Signups will close at the end of the day on the 1st of July, 2023, Pacific Time. and all three preliminary scores need to be turned in before then. Competition will resume on the 3rd of July, 2023!
I hope to see you there!

I went out drinking a few nights ago and drank quite a bit. I’m usually pretty mindful of how much i drink and know where my limits are. I won’t pretend like i didn’t drink a lot, because i did. I was definitely pretty drunk, but very conscious of where i was and my surroundings.
We took an Uber to another bar about 30 minutes away and i felt fine. When we got to the bar, i had one more shot, which i decided would be the last one of the night, and i don’t really remember anything much after that.
I’ve blacked out before, but this didn’t feel like that. I felt completely out of it, like an out of body kinda thing. My bf was telling me about things that happened that night and i could foggily remember some of it like it was a dream. I don’t even remember getting into bed, just waking up at home the next morning.
The next morning, i had what i thought to be a terrible hangover but it was the worst one I’ve ever had. I felt like my body was filled with cement and i literally could not stand up for more than a few minutes before having to sit back down. I felt so nauseous that i couldn’t even drink water or get any food down.
I thought i was just really drunk but I’m confused because i didn’t drink any more than i usually do. I ate right before we started drinking and throughout the day plus i drank a ton of water too. It’s been 2 days and I’m still feeling foggy and sick. I’m so confused and i don’t know if my body just reacted crazily to the alcohol that night or if i was drugged.

I've been struggling a lot with finding a career path since my teen years. I'm 27M now and feel like I still don't know myself well enough to know what I want to do. I've worked numerous jobs over the past 10 years, mostly warehouse work and I've never stayed more than a couple years because I can't handle poor management, wages and work culture.
My current job isn't all that bad. It's a straight days warehouse job, but it has very poor management, my boss is really toxic and some of my coworkers lack work ethic which puts stress on the small crew we have to get our orders out. There is zero accountability and because of that it's really hard for me to care. I am a hard worker and will try my best to do the task at hand. I went out of my way to learn new skills and help out my other workers, I even worked through my breaks when I first started 2 years ago to keep orders moving, but now I just don't care. I've already used 8 of my 10 paid leave days this year just because I don't want to deal with it.
I suppose I have a lack of motivation to get out of this dead end job rut. I attribute this to the severe depression and anxiety that runs in my family. My father had it so bad he couldn't even maintain a job. I'm nowhere near that bad, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't let it get in the way of pursuing other opportunities.
Over the last several years I've been indulging in video editing and sound design. It's something I really enjoy even if it is a lot of work. I don't know how realistic it is to be able to use those skills in a career, especially because I live in a small town and moving is out of the question for now as I have a fiancé bound here for work. I guess youtube could always be a career, but honestly that's incredibly far fetched and not at all stable. Right now I just kind of feel lost, stuck and hopeless. Not sure I'll ever amount to anything even though I feel I'm worth far more than any dead end job.
I guess I just want to hear from people in similar situations. How did you know what you wanted to do? Maybe a dead end job isn't all that bad if it pays the bills. I appreciate any responses.

Problem definition:
I have an ammonia refrigerator in my RV that uses a 120V electric heating strip as a “compressor”, and I want to be alerted when it’s been running for a long time without cycling off.
During normal operation, the heat strip may be on for an hour at a time, or maybe even six hours if I’ve just put a warm case of soda in it.
But over time (months) the ammonia-water solution will slowly separate and the heat strip will stay on longer and longer, and finally stay on constantly to attempt to satisfy the thermostat.
Eventually once I notice the ice cream is melting I know it’s time to take action, which is essentially “stirring” the solution. This could be accomplished by moving the RV, or emptying and physically flipping the fridge upside down for a minute.
Once stirred, the fridge will function well for another 3, 6, or 9 months without trouble.
It bothers me that (I’m guessing) for a month or more before the ice cream melts, the thing is just running constantly or near constantly, just barely keeping up, and I’d love to know when it starts working overtime so I can intervene sooner.
What I would like:
Some kind of circuit that will sense when 120 V is being applied to the heater (it can be powered this way too), and will light up an LED when it’s been on for “a long time”.
I know “a long time” is frustratingly ambiguous, but I’m being intentionally imprecise. If I say 24 hours exactly, I know that will require some kind of IC chip with a clock, and I don’t think that level of sophistication is required here (nor do I want to force those kinds of answers). If there is some kind of resistocapacitor combination that will take somewhere between 8 hours and 8 days to “charge up” and turn on a light, that’s good enough for me. It doesn’t even need to be consistent.
For context, the best solution I’ve come up with that I think I could implement right now on my own is to just connect an LED that always lights up when the heater is on, and it’s on me to notice whether and how often it turns off.
Another possibly “off the shelf” solution might be to power a small digital clock/timer with the heat strip circuit and I can randomly look at it. If I see it’s counted up to 12 hours, I know it’s time for a stir. But honestly figuring out how to “hack” a clock in that way seems intimidating.
So, if there’s some kind of “slow to react” circuit I could rig up, maybe even with a variable resistor for “tuning”, I’d love to know! I don’t even expect a complete design - if you know what such a circuit would even be called I’m happy to do my own research and try cobbling something together myself.
Of course, I’m also 100% open to other solutions/ideas you may have :)
Thanks in advance for sharing your wisdom!

Hello everyone. My name is Rudy, I am a 25M and I live in Canada. I am having trouble making IRL friends in the province, due to many cultural differences here. It would be nice to make friends with people who are willing to put a lot of time and effort into the friendship we could potentially have together. If you are someone who works a lot of hours or are constantly busy, I am not the man for you.
So what about me? Well my interests are gaming (Left 4 Dead 2, Project Zomboid, Terraria, The Forest, Fortnite, Apex, Stardew) also if anyone has Java Minecraft and would like to teach me how to build in Minecraft that would be great. I also like reading books about mental-self help, long walks or jogging, my black cat (I can send pics of him), cooking, sleeping, long drives, and meeting new people.
Here is what I would like to potentially do together when we feel more comfortable with each other
We can voicechat and enjoy each other's presence
We can watch movies, or anything really
We can play any of the games I mentioned
We can text each other almost everyday
We can support each other when we have a bad day
That is about it really. I only ask that you are ages between 19 - 30, and are from USA, Canada or Europe for timezone reasons. I heavily prefer discord or telegram to chat on, and voice chat is a must for me.
Hope to chat with you all soon :)

Hi. Just today I (24F) talked with my two best friends on the phone today about rooming together in a city they already live in (Chicago). We had this call planned for about a week now and I have been looking forward to it for a long time; I was very excited to finally start looking at neighborhoods and talking rent.
For context, these two friends moved in together about 6 months ago and I have visited them multiple times already. We've been best friends for years and have always talked about getting a three bedroom together finally. Other circumstances (grad school) prevented me from being to move in with them initially 6 months ago; I would have if I could have. We have talked and talked and talked about finally being able to all live together and I have always expressed so much excitement about being able to move to their city and finally have my social life back.
My current living situation is less than ideal and I live with a roommate who I strongly dislike and feel miserable around; she is not a kind girl. Living basically alone for the past two years in this apartment with her has been extremely alienating and lonely; I have never felt more isolated and left out in my entire life. I know it's not their fault, but seeing my friends enjoying their lives together and texting about things that I wouldn't know about has taken a serious toll on my mental health.
Now that my move out date, August, is quickly approaching, I have been getting super excited to get out of here and find a three bedroom with them. However, the call tonight changed everything. As angry as I want to be with them, their circumstances are unfortunately not ideal. They have realized in the past month that they will not be able to afford to move to a new apartment and pay upfront costs like security deposits, first/last, fees, etc. Today they told me that the chances of me being able to live with them is slim, since their best financial option is to resign their current lease.
I have truly never been more heartbroken and upset in my entire life. I spent the rest of the phonecall sobbing; not to make them feel bad, but because I was so upset and shocked by this information that it physically hurt and made me feel sick. I don't even know what to do or say. I've been ignoring their texts since I hung up. I cannot afford to live in a single/studio on my own. Living in a three bedroom and splitting rent is so much cheaper than a studio in the city, unfortunately. I feel so betrayed and left in the dark. The thought of having to find another random roommate after this hellish 2 years is terrifying. I was so so excited to finally have my friends back and to live with them and not feel trapped and lonely in these four walls and yet here I am, being forced to live alone or with another stranger.

So I wasnt active on reddit at all since quite some time, last time i was here, I had responded to mod mails of people who wanted to be mods. And had suggested the idea to visible, since I do not have the tools to make someone else the moderator i believe. I had talked with someone in mod mail and I couldn't make them Mod. If somebody among the users can help me add if they know how to would be most welcome to dm me.
For Now I have removed all the spam posts I could see, please tell me if I have missed any. I'll try to be more active from now on. And will ask Visible to add anybody whose interested as mods so that the sub can improve on overall. ( Will Make some kind of application or something)
Again I am sorry for being inactive for a long duration

I'm looking for a projector to use outdoors - I've gone through a few and tried to find the brightest as I am going to start using it at sunset (I know using a projector while it's still light out is not great, but it's only for the first 40 minutes or so before it gets dark) and I've looked for a few options. I wanted to get the samsung freestyle as my brother has had one all year, but I've seen how dark it is and it doesn't seem worth paying an extra £60 from the others below
My three options right now are the Optoma 145X, the Optoma 146X and finally the ACER H6543BDK. By my very little knowledge the Acer one looks the best by a mile, but it's new and I cannot find a single review of it online anywhere so I just want to know if someone can confirm by looking at the specs if it seems like it would do the job? They're all relatively the same price.
I will be using it in the garden, the projector will be 10-15ft away and I will be projecting it onto one of those cheap £20 projector screens from Amazon (not sure if that's recommended or if there's any alternatives). Will be 100-150ft depending on the projector I get.
It's for a watch party for a football match, so it doesn't have to be perfect. Just as long as you can tell what's happening im happy. Thanks

My (50M) oldest Cooper (18M) just graduated highschool. Me and the wife have a college fund set up for him that we've been putting in since he was little. It's a pretty substantial amount. He doesn't actually need it though as he got full rides on football and academic scholarships if he wants them. He's a really strong and bright kid.
Cooper has been dating this boy Kristopher (18M) for about two yrs now. Even though he's a little rough around the edges he's a good kid and we generally like him. Apparently Kristopher is signing up to the marines. Well last week Cooper decides to tell us that he's not going to school and that he and Kristopher are going to get married after he finishes Basic. You can guess I wasn't to happy with that..
I asked him why he'd give up so much like that abd he just responded that he wanted to always stay close to Kristopher and start a life with him. He then asked if he could use his college fund to do so. I quickly reminded him that he's barely 18 and that he's never lived outside our house before much less living with a partner. He got mad and told he could handle it and it was his choice.
Which started a whole argument about how he was wasting his potential and giving up his plans just to follow Kristopher around. I told him the college fund was for college and I wasn't gonna let him throw his life away for some boy. That he couldn't get it unless he went to college. AITA?

I sit and think of your beauty. Your pacing, your frustration. Your glasses sheilding your eyes that dart swiftly across mine glistening as the ocean does on a bright summer’s day. I long to tell you more about your beauty and intelligence and grace. But all I can think about is your hand.
It’s writing every day. It’s placing your harmful thoughts down onto paper, or into digital ink. I think of how much lighter you must feel after you release that energy into writing. And how much freer you find yourself unburdened by harmful thoughts.
But I find myself feeling sad that you feel you must write. For you are so lovely and so beautiful and sweet that you having to even lift even a finger to exorcise feelings of self doubt or self hatred is an act against humanity. I wonder how long you feel like you must write. If your hand becomes tired each day and that you, instead of feeling ready to rest, you feel that exhaustion that only comes when struggling with depression dragging you to sleep.
I can only hope that the urge to write becomes less and fades into nothingness, that you feel you can write about your science and life and approach sleep not as a sweet release but as preparation and rejuvenation. And yet I know that you write.
Do you write the same things every day?

Okay i know how the title sounds but in my opinion I’m not in the wrong at all. Last year I had with my ex friend let’s call him Ron. I had been friends with Ron for 4 years and he was a really good friend for a while until about September when he just stopped talking to me. We played the game here and there but still very little contact. Me and ron have another friend name D. I have been friends with D for 7 years and me and his friendship was amazing hung out everyday just great. One day Ron tried to accuse me of being a catfish and trying to catfish him. So I broke the friendship off. For a few months me and D were still okay but in December of 2022 he started getting really distant from me and started only hanging out with Ron. Which at first didn’t bother me but deep down it hurt knowing that i was being replaced. But from December on me and D have had little to no communication with one another. And when we did it would end in arguments of Ron because D always felt the need to bring him up every situation he got. But i invited D to my graduation and told him if we could have a peaceful night i wanted it or be all about me. But Inspite of what I said he came and was rude and angry because him and Ron got into a fight days before. I ask him to leave and days later he and I get into an argument because he feels I have anger towards him because he is still friends with Ron and starts calling me all types of names. I tell him the truth and say I do but because you at every breathing moment have to include him in everything we do. Am I the reason the friendship ended? AITA?

I have had a day now to reflect on the last month. A major relapse on my over a decade long battle with compulsive gambling. Now at 30 and with a higher salary the total monetary value of the losses in this episode is much higher. But I can end it today in a position that I can recover from.
There have been many times over the last 10 years where I have gambled away every dollar I had and had to live off a shoestring or cash load or pawn shop to survive to the next paycheck. There was even an episode of stealing from my parents. All though my losses at the time were in the hundreds or the low thousands it was everything I had. I can't think of a time back then where I had 10k to my name.
In the last couple of years I got a much better job than I had back then and I nicer salary. More importantly I have not been gambling. I managed to save 80k. My problem is sports betting. In the last month I wiped away half of that. That represented my 15k in savings 10k in spending account. And a further 15k in my credit card. With my next paycheck and selling my 10k crypto portfolio I was able to payoff credit immediately. That just left my 40k stocks portfolio which luckily for me would take time to sell and has been enough of an inconvenience for me to need to stop and think about what I was doing.
After the first 2 weeks I was 20k down and just could not let it go. I had to make it back. And here we are now. Down another 20. My bet size for sports bets and multis is much larger now than it had been in the past. I was placing a lot of 2 or 3k bets with roughly 3x payoffs and of course missing. One betting agencys responsible gambling division even contacted me and I agreed to letting them block my account. I managed to lost another roughly 4k through other agencies since then but now I have closed all those accounts.
It's pretty fucked and very disappointing. You all know the feeling. I was vaguely looking into getting into housing market as my net worth approached 100k. That is now set back at least 6 months. On top of the money my health and performance at work took a huge hit. For me compulsive gambling and binge eating go together plus poor sleep and lack of interest in my job.
Anyway I know the only way out now is to completely stop and let go of the money I lost. I am very grateful not to be in debt and to have money for rent and food. I have a new girlfriend and it's early enough that she did not know my financial situation. So no one to explain a missing 40k to.
I only hope it is not a black mark that will mean I won't be able to get a home loan In the future.
In these next few months I am going to put my head down and focus on saving and getting in awesome physical shape. Plus try to focus on learning some new skills outside of work that will help me with my career and something else to hopefully be passionate in.
Something is out of wack with my outlook on life when I can free fall like this so willingly. Putting all my hard work at stake. Why do I act like I have nothing to lose. Like my future is not worth building towards. Or that it's something worth risking. Good things take time and effort. Gambling is a quick, cheep, empty and a sham shortcut.
This is day one for me and I plan to use this post as a diary for weekly updates to keep me motivated and focused.
Tldr: I lost half my 80k life savings in a month at 30. Thankfully no debt or dependents and as much as this sucks I am going to turn my life around starting now.

Hello everyone. My name is Rudy, I am a 25M and I live in Canada. I am having trouble making IRL friends in the province, due to many cultural differences here. It would be nice to make friends with people who are willing to put a lot of time and effort into the friendship we could potentially have together. If you are someone who works a lot of hours or are constantly busy, I am not the man for you.
So what about me? Well my interests are gaming (Left 4 Dead 2, Project Zomboid, Terraria, The Forest, Fortnite, Apex, Stardew) also if anyone has Java Minecraft and would like to teach me how to build in Minecraft that would be great. I also like reading books about mental-self help, long walks or jogging, my black cat (I can send pics of him), cooking, sleeping, long drives, and meeting new people.
Here is what I would like to potentially do together when we feel more comfortable with each other
We can voicechat and enjoy each other's presence
We can watch movies, or anything really
We can play any of the games I mentioned
We can text each other almost everyday
We can support each other when we have a bad day
That is about it really. I only ask that you are ages between 19 - 30, and are from USA, Canada or Europe for timezone reasons. I heavily prefer discord or telegram to chat on, and voice chat is a must for me.
Hope to chat with you all soon :)

Hello,
My wife and I will be getting a divorce soon(Indiana, no one has filed yet), and we have a 2 1/2 year old girl. My wife has been wanting to take my daughter this week Monday-Friday and has changed where she is going, and when she is going 3 times now. Now tonight she said she will be keeping her Monday - Sunday without consulting me( I asked her tonight if her plans were still the same, only to find out it's not). She has been out of state the last 3 weekends seeing friends, and has not stayed at our residence since last week. She hasn't spent much time with her at all as well. About 2-3 hours in the last 9 days, by her own choice. She is welcome to stay, as her name is on the mortgage as well as mine. My issue is her changing the amount of time, and places. She wants her to stay at her cousins house with her 2 nights, then to her parents for 3 nights, and then to an unspecified "family event" for another. I don't want to be away from my daughter for that long, and think its unreasonable. She said she has the right to take her for the week, because she is her mother. We both have legal custody, but im wondering if she can remove her for the week without my consent. She previously said she would sign a written agreement for the week, but doesn't seem like she will do that now.
My wife recently had a miscarriage a few weeks ago, and then went to a yoga festival and ate magic mushrooms and had a vision from "god" that said the miscarriage was a sign from god for her to leave me. She also cited a tarot card reading. I dont mind her having time with my daughter, but I dont feel like she should just be able to exercise her will as she sees fit. I have been her primary care giver, and she is most comfortable with me at home. Is she legally able to take her like this without my consent? I want to work with her on it, but she seems to think she has the right to do whatever.
Thanks!

How do y’all get your partner to understand what a huge commitment pumping is? My husband and I recently got in an argument because before my second pump of the day I just said, I don’t feel like pumping (I was sick at the time and physically exhausted). He mentioned later that he wished I would be more positive about things and stop complaining about pumping or mentioning pumping when he asks if I want to go somewhere. I told him, it’s just difficult to will your body to go through that 40 minute process to pump, make/label the bottles, and clean it all up 4 times a day when you feel like garbage. There are just times I wish I could have a day off…then I asked him, do you have anything in your life that you have to do no matter what, every single day? He said, “I have to go to work when I don’t want to”. I let him know that isn’t the same because he gets weekends, vacation days, and sick days when he isn’t feeling well. I can’t just tell my milk supply I need a sick day and we’ll catch up when I’m feeling better. Then he said, well there are times I don’t feel like cooking (he does a majority of the cooking). I said, yes, and when you don’t feel like it we can order out or I can cook. You can’t pump for me and even if we gave our daughter some of my frozen stash or formula, I’d still have to pump so I still have that commitment. No matter how I try to explain it to him he does not seem to understand that this has been a long journey and requires so much planning to schedule my day around it and it is a rain or shine commitment. No days off or ordering out. How have y’all been able to get this across to your spouse?

I got my Tesla Mode Y last month and opted for Tesla financing. I still haven’t gotten any communication through e-mail or snail mail to set up payment, etc. Any idea how long this takes ?

My cat won't let me trim his nails, brush his long hair to stop matting or get it out, clean his butt when it sticks to his long fur. Barely lets me touch him with my hands at all.
He was surrendered by his original owner because "he wouldn't let us pet him".
That said, he is comfortable with me. He follows me from room to room. Will meow for me to join him when he really wants to be in a different room but also wants me around. He sleeps on or between my legs every night. He comes running to the door every time I come home. We exchange slow blinks.
How do I properly take care of a cat that bites and scratches every time I try to take care of him. But otherwise seems to be very comfortable with me?
I've tried excessive treats (he's very food motivated). I've tried cat burrito, but he squirms so much I'm worried he'll hurt himself. And he usually really starts squirming if I try to switch which nails are out.
I'm really at a loss for what to do. It breaks my heart that I can't take proper care of him. But I have no idea how to help him.
He's 2 and I've had him for 6 months if that helps.