This transcript is from the livestream called "OMG Let's Beeze" instead of a Highlight.
skin looks bad where's my filters and there we go hi babe you're first hello
hi Lulu you're so early - yeah I know it's just all us now...the beezers, the beezers are first babe is first king Beezer. Gemini gem, what's new and exciting ? guess who's back...Lynn the pig and Grandma's back, back again...warmly...I know I'm terrible sorry you know just have a lot going on...Marissa 24 months you are the loyalist of beezers, I swear! radiation, you deserve every arm shake of that, I call them girl...hi shoot kickers and rats Ava hi, hi beezers
oh my God it's hot in this room.. why, why is it hot in this room? oh yeah so don't fear don't fret
um I'm in the spare room with the door shut there's no pets in here and I don't know if it's because it's vapor but uh this dissipates like instantly. it's not like lingering. tobacco smoke like two minutes later, you would not be able to smell anything in this house of... any kind of tobacco at all. you'll bring the fan really I would, so. appreciate that, honestly
Golden Girl, one year ~oh my gosh~ you deserve that too loyal Beezer ~~ Ready, Set! when did you guys all start watching me? I need to know... I'm curious what caught you onto my channel hi Carolina [Music]
these are... do I look like a virtuous woman? don't answer that... I will follow him, follow him, wherever he may go... I don't want to have that in my head all of a sudden [laughs] and on my hijab... style is kind of weird today. it looks like I have like a floppy chin. you know? like, three years ago no way...I can't believe I've been on YouTube for how long now
sanela, hi...
how long has it been? foodie Beauty days. Beauty foodie days... a couple of you now you get to see me in my marriage Arc. I'm very, very thankful for that. when I look back on some parts of my life, I'm, like, still, like, sometimes... I still wake up and I'm, like, I can't believe I'm here in the Middle East married to a wonderful man, you know? it's crazy. it's, like, surreal almost. I don't know
yeah, it is warm in this room. I don't know why... they're just, like, well... it's well ventilated but I don't know... maybe just because I'm so used to having the fan on me all times. you love the henna ink? thank you ~ yeah it's um very dark... I chose the black. they're like, do you want black or do you want red? so I'm like a half black but um... it's very nice you know?
my lovely angel, hey baby, oh you have to show them your beard cut! you had a beard trim... if I searched Amber... thank you so much for bringing that to me because.... oh wait.. the.. she said... yeah, it should be okay right? yeah, yeah the reality
[foreign]
the content room.... the content room needs to be a few... a few uh degrees lower, okay? nice... yeah, thanks... that's perfect. thanks for making me comfortable, my sweet love... you're welcome honey
sir, on YouTube during the Amber and Johnny Trail... Amberly came up? no way hi visas ~ oh my God ~ doesn't he look like 20 years younger? surprise...we could really see her mouth no more beard hair. you're still my handsomest man...handsomest man.... handsomest man
you guys...you guys are used to him with his beard now, huh, but whenever we met each other, this is, like, the look he had this one called the Summer Style. yeah it's too hot...yeah it's too hot for all the facial hair right? does it make a difference? yes, yes
he's too handsome - careful Chantel he's not going anywhere right? yeah
thank you guys oh I missed a bunch of comments okay
baby I'll keep using with them...yeah thank you, babe/ okay guys see you in the chat yeah and uh, they'll come live with me one of these days soon and do his own streams
hey I forgot the lights look better in the dark...is there two lights in here or one? [Music] turn one off...Okay, thanks. not all of them yeah...
hello Beezus foreign [Laughter]
[Laughter] thanks baby
[Music]
creepy spooky looks good with your hair, looks dark and handsome
[Laughter]
oh yeah...if you got a new mask [Laughter] it's spooky. that's cool.. it looks cool. I like it thank you honey [Laughter] happy Halloween everybody! eyesight shot yes my favorite movie actually. besides The Shining. which are both Kubrick movies... by the way, okay, which lighting makes me look nicer? the other one? I think this one wait check try the other one again.
I love you, honey pinch
whoa~ this one.. yeah, this one. the other one reminds me of a bait my basement. when I was a kid we had this...okay let me catch up here ...I travel mayonnaise [Laughter]....okay see you later alligator! someone... someone has to sound bite that [laugh] I've got that one there sorry, guys. I'm gonna be gonna contain my chin... and also... okay let me catch up here... I swear.
okay, um ,thanks Golden Girl...yeah, this is the henna but it goes like to here. I usually don't show you guys my wrists but you can see for the the purpose of the henna. so I washed my hands a bunch of times and it's still... I did the dishes. it's still on strong so I'm happy about that. are you going to address? uh, did you tip the artist? what what a weird question, duh... Whitney, actually tips are not very common here, but yeah I did. um, what are you looking for honey?
my phone? I think you see it you left your phone here no in the bedroom maybe yeah. um are you going to address all the fires in your home country?the fire...? there's fires in Canada right now? oh really?! yeah, in Quebec... Quebec area. I think eh.. um.. yeah, in specific, uh, area or what? yeah, I have to look it up. I'm not really sure. like, I know in Quebec region but was like five years ago.. it's fine, I think, yeah, I don't know ...like how severe it is... but there's, like, it's causing a lot of smog like in the US as well.. it's like going everywhere is all that I know.
[Note: some regions of Canada and the US had highest impurity rates globally from the particles in the air making the air dangerous for some people]
Michelle, they will be safe, yeah. thanks for the super chat. um, are they gonna start blaming me for the wildfires? yeah, I don't know. I mean, want to hold a vigil or what you like? the trim? it's a lot of the hair. yeah, the beard trim, yeah. thank you, uh Ali L, welcome to put your feet already [ __ ]. please, um, what in the kinky's going on okay?
we're in a room... welcome to budget piece and we're just like beeze, oh, I'm really behind... basic basic, it was smoky in Toronto. the air is bad really? well, I heard that it's bad.. like the small the the smoke or whatever...we got Eyes Wide Shut... that reminds me Andre Marie that was, like, one of my favoritest movies. favoritest movies ever! I love it. this is a weird hijab style... it was just like I had to get ready fast. so, I'm in the spare room right now. hi Ali L, welcome, welcome!
I know I haven't been going live really but ~oh my gosh~ we have so much going on in our lives and the new the pets are keeping me really busy. I have, like, a whole routine like I don't know how people do it with kids... like, I think I would die. like, I don't know if it's just like mentally I'm just not able to cope, with, like, too many responsibilities. because like taking care of home and then taking care of, like.... has been taking care... he takes care of me too... but you know what I mean? and then, like, Howie I have to spend time with Howie in a room by himself. he's he's in a room by himself now and the cat's in a room right now with her, like, food and water because we don't smoke with the pets.
like, you know at all... so um, so, then I have to like get up and like spend some time with howie... give him his vegetables, let him run around kiss him a thousand times and then Julia wakes up. Julia, yeah... welcome back guys! sorry I'm poor, that's okay... it's going to Wisconsin?
Julia cats are good at sneaking. I swear! I swear, she's snuck in the room when I was like coming in to see Howie. I didn't even know she was right behind me so she came in and she kind of just like just stared at him. but I think she...I don't know... she did one thing kind of weird like once, but it never happened again, so I'm okay with it, you know? I'm like, I hope it doesn't become a problem. she doesn't ...I don't think she likes the door being closed and me coming in here and paying attention to him. so one time that she was outside and I wasn't here she like pooped right up front of the door. I think it was like to say, like, "hey this is my territory this is my home, you little rodent" kind of thing but then ever since then she hasn't done it. like, she only did it once, I think, to like, assert her territory and then she just never did it again. she just, like, you know, poops in her box fine and she pees in her box fine and yeah... so far so good, mashallah. like. knock on wood but she's very very loving. she's like. I should have named her shadow she will not...if she's awake she will not...she, like, will not leave your side. like, she's the most loving cat. and if you, just like, you can... she's like a rag doll. like, you can just grab her and and hold her and just, like, and just like, she's just like... floppy and just loves attention and she's constantly....constant, constantly purring but she's also kind of naughty.
like, she's....when she gets the Zoomies, she freaks out and runs around everywhere, jumps all over the place and, like, she plays with things she shouldn't be playing with, you know? so it's like at that age she's, like a kitten right? so we have to like, um, you know, we have to, like, hold on. there we go... we have to feel uncentered. we have to, like, teach her you know? but she's... I say, you know, a lot, but she's like, she's so loving you know?
Hi Megan! so you think you can cats too well? yeah... my solid. what? well, my cheese salad? yeah hi pnv! yes, I hope you're having a good day at work. hi turbo toots! yo guys, yo Salah baby, baby... so yeah she's baby. how are you? do you love Julia? so she's adopting very well. my female cat gets mad at my own Grandma cat and she'll pee in the litter box extra messy. like, I won't even squat...makes a mess, yeah.... cats have strange Behavior sometimes you know? but yeah, I don't know. like, she's she's very hyper sometimes because she's just a kitten right? so I have to make sure to play with her a lot with her feather toy and, like, I have to like daily scoop out toys under the couch because she always gets them lost in there.
[Note: it seems Salah is teaching her basic cat care like a child]
sometimes if I open a bottle of water, like the cap, I'll just throw it. like, hey here's another toy that's not under the couch right now because and she just loves it!
foreign first class falcon getting a hair transplant... where in Turkey? you've always wanted to try that henna? thank you... yeah. it's really cool. I'm glad I tried it out. maybe next time I get it, um, I'll just get the uh,... it's like having a tattoo. like, it's a really cool... like, it looks like a really cool tribal tattoo or something I don't know? when I was watching her do it and it didn't take long at all. she's just, like, you know....
the Kitty's in another room while I'm smoking. and howie do have.... we the other day... I thought he was stuck in his tunnel but he was like, just listening or something... I don't know... because he put a bunch of his corn kernels in the tunnel overnight and he was just sitting in the tunnel, like, this like, like, stiff, like, a mannequin. so I started freaking out. I was like Howie! Howie! so I took all the tunnel apart and I'm holding it like this and he's in it and I'm like trying to go like this and he finally woke up and went... I hear horror stories you people scare me or like he could get stuck in a tunneling so here I am thinking oh my God he's stuck in the tunnel but no he can still, he still has so much room! he can turn around but ~uh oh my gosh~. anyway, I freaked out. that's like, the most exciting thing going on right now. actually Julie is the sweetest Beezer.
she's sleeping.... yeah, [reading comments in live chat] "my daughter has four cats and they were so picky that they each needed their own litter box". yeah... like, when I had the other cats like. we had that big litter box upstairs and then we had another one downstairs and because I was thinking like bbj's old, like, what if she can't make it? like, she had accidents a lot. because, you know, like, mostly starting when she got older. other than that, she was like a good cat her whole life, you know? and Sam no problems. but they ended up just using one litter box, so you know...
my fiance as a kid that honestly don't like... he doesn't even cover his poop. honestl?y Julia doesn't really either. she just goes and leaves it but so I go and I, like, cover it and then I scoop it. it avoids mess on the scooper. but she she gets the worst Zoomies after she goes to the bathroom. I always know when she goes and it's like, "okay, time to go get the scoop the Box" because she, um, I guess I'm keeping everything ultra clean now. and especially, like, you know, we have a smaller... it's smaller than my old place. so it's like you know if you don't ...the smell will just permeate as well. so yeah... she like runs around freaks out
I hear her go like she's so I'm going to the bathroom. people don't put leashes on their dogs. I want to go out. you had a Nashi zombies? yeah? wait... now she's are available right now in Canada, I'm missing out! no, the only matches I find here are coleslaw in them. like, Burger King is the only nashie. like, the Zoomies, I had to explain like salah never had a pet before, right? so this is all new to him so I had to explain what this is... Zoomies were... so I'm looking up Tick Tock videos of Zoomies. Like, he's like, is something wrong with her? I'm like, no, this is normal. check it out and, like, some cats get like the really bad zoomies, you know? it just happened in Florida? young and mischievous, yeah young and full of energy so...
I find smoking shisha makes you um thirsty. yeah, I'm going live a little earlier today because it's like 10 30 here and we're kind of tired. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm a little sleepy. so I don't know how long I'll be on but I wanted to say "hey" because I missed you guys. like, if I don't feel like if I don't go live for a little while, I feel weird. like, oh my God! I missed you guys! you know?
[Note: Chantal has pretended her chats and followers are her second family when she makes them dispensable and has a high turnover. It's a false audience relationship in this regard.]
I can't believe they have the the Nashi in Florida! what the hell?! that's so weird.... it's quarter after 11 here already. that's crazy! as you can see I haven't been able to quit shisha and I don't think I did I didn't do uh\, I didn't do a good mukbang today. so, I'm not gonna put it out. it was kind of boring. I don't know.... maybe I will.... maybe I won't... we'll see.
sorry for always adjusting this....these chiffon ones I could never... I love how they look the most but I could never fix them properly. they never stay in place.. even if I like put them here under my chin see? can you get lavender to smoke, relax you? [reading comments] I don't know can you get lavender shisha... but I think it's only fruit flavors... but I'm not really sure. the water looks good. yeah, these are the water towers in Kuwait. yeah, I just drink a lot of water. like, this is the water bottle water we drink. we buy, like, our whole wall is like full of like water bottles. even if we have a filter, it's like the water in Kuwait in the summer, like, I wanted to have a coldish shower right? I put the water on the coldest setting it was hot. Like I couldn't even shower it was that hot. it was like, so hot I had to wait till evening time to have a shower because the water cools down in the evening. but in the daytime if you want to shower be prepared for the hottest water! it's so hot it was like it felt like 45 degrees today. so... but the AC and the new car is really nice.
Michelle.. and um, we, had like a slush today but I'm not sure about the lavender. Golden Girl, good question... um what did I have for dinner? actually I ate KFC because I was craving it and they have this new flavor of like chicken it's like Flamin Hot Lays and they have chicken tenders...and I had these twisters... and you know I tried to mukbang but I was just, like, in one of those moods where I'm like, what does it look like I'm wearing? shoulder pads? what the heck does it look like I'm wearing shoulder pad?....um, just like a really tired,hot.... not in a really talkative mood. kind of, like, I am now... so I'm like, I should probably do a live stream, you know? I don't know ....I, I really, just yeah.... I wasn't really in the mood. so I was just, like eating kind of quietly and I think most people um.... what was I gonna say? like, like, conversation with my videos, you know what I mean?
what month does it start getting the hottest? um, I don't know.... babe, what like month, like April... no the hottest actually probably like June? July? like it's gonna be like now but it's gonna get like I think even hotter.
[Note: Useless fact: The longest day of sunlight is on or around 20 June. It takes the earth 30 days to absorb and emit the heat so hottest days in many regions in the northern hemishperes is on or around 20 July]
so why he jumped his face like as big as FFG?!! LMAO! not even close! [Laughter] sorry... but it's true... this is, like, this is material all bunched up by the way but yeah I have a double chin.
July, August, September... um September too? oh great so we have... so here it's like reversed in Canada. the longest season is winter and here is summer [Note: Wait until Chantal learns about the equator]
thanks Golden Girl! thank you! remember this lip gloss... it's the...you guys remember when I went to buy this the Estee Lauder one? um will be 50 to 60. does it hit 60 like every summer? oh my God! I can't imagine... like, I have to go outside even for just a minute to experience what 60 degree weather is like... and we have to do like a test... like, I want to do that fried egg test. we have to put an egg on the pavement and see if it fries... but you know I can go peek my head out come right back in the building because the building is well air conditioned...like even downstairs in the lobby.
I don't know where people get this idea that we don't we don't have AC. it's not like...it's not a third world country um...there's AC everywhere and actually there's, like, um, I don't know like people put charity water tanks all over the town, like, different parts of each City. so, so, like, you can have clean drinking water and then there's like tunnels with like AC so people can have a break and walk through the tunnels instead of being outside. so there's, like, a lot of Refuge... is it respite Refuge? I don't know what word I'm looking for.... there's a lot of.... like, you get a break from the Sun.... if you even just going into malls, like, all the malls are very well air conditioned. um, so I would not be able to, yeah that's hot... I would not be able to survive here without AC. even Salah you will test it and we'll be grilled.
I remember one morning where one morning we woke up and he opens the curtain... actually, we do this every morning, like mashallah, I have to say it...we, we open the windows and we see the the beautiful ocean view.. and I'm like, one time I was like okay.. let's go out and he was like if you go out at this time you will be Chicken on coal! so, we have to wait until a certain time like after 4 or 4 30. I'll melt like cheese.
I wonder if I put cheese out if it will melt... hi Anastasia! sunblock will be useful...yeah, I need to get some, babe, true. creepy comfort and crime, [reading live chat] oh I just seen you... I just saw you ready...welcome, welcome to the very important users! thanks for becoming a Beezer!
yeah and I don't think that I'll be experiencing a winter, you know? not an all gun wood for like the next long while so I don't know when I'll go back to Canada for a visit.... but if I do go back, I'll be like a tourist right? because I don't have a place there anymore so, well it'll be weird be like a a Canada tourist.
[Note: Chantal doesn't understand her own citizenship status with Canada because she doesn't have a physical mailing address or residence. However, she is still a Canadian citizen].
cheese melted 'michelted'... you want to watch a horror movie, babe? I don't know... I might fall asleep but that's okay... what's a good horror movie from like the 2000s that we have? I don't know...
we tried finding "the ring" [horror movie] but we couldn't. why don't we last watch? oh, escape room one and two? those are good movies there's Escape rooms here but they're expensive I tried it several times to fry an egg here in Kuwait and it was successful. really?! no way?! you just leave the egg thereafter and like animals will eat? [reading live chat comments] a day when I lived in Vegas when I was in high school, I fried an egg in the street... no way! it gets hot like that? and it's just, like, are there some states where it gets super hot like Texas... say in Vegas.... I guess Death Valley is one of the hottest place... is quite hotter than Death Valley.. I'm happy to not see you in winter in Canada again.
yeah ...that's true... you leave a for the winter that's smart... that's what, yeah, my, I have family members who do that. Anna, hi dream! Insidious is good.. he watched... I don't think he liked Insidious. I don't know why... he likes more gross movies we watched a really gross zombie movie called "yummy"... oh my God... but it was pretty good movie, I guess. but just like one of those movies I'd only watch Once... don't ask me about security emoji. I can't believe the last horror movie watch was The Exorcist and it's like in the 70s that's so long ago...
[reading live chat again] it gets really hot in Vegas... really? like over a hundred? The Descent, oh, is that about a monster? I'm Chucky hi I'm Chucky you want to play no Chucky I want to burn you in fire and lava seriously I would drive and throw him in a volcano and then you go home and he's on your bed I'll burp I'm waiting to murder you God The Descent I think I watched it a long time ago you know what's really creepy? okay, the catacombs, like stories about the catacombs freak me out... like, all those tunnels under Paris? imagine getting lost in there! you'd be dead...you slept with your parents? I used to get scared and sleep with my mom too... she was like come on now there's nothing! you know, your parents get annoyed? no wonder... they probably want to break from us. I don't blame them. it's about the group of girls in a cave... ah but there's like a monster right? I think should I tell the Tank Engine ~oh my God~ that is my favorite picture! can you send it to me by emails? like, and [laugh] oh my God ~ actually the Crypt ~oh babe look at the picture [Music]
oh my God! that made my day! my potato face, choo choo, that, you know, what Thomas the Tank Engine used to be my one of my favorite shows as a kid... and Babar, potatoes ~ oh my God you're living like 15! oh I live in central California and it can get to 112. you that's hot! we will watch Descent movie... okay that I think that's I saw, that movie oh
Cassie oh my God! I need to quit smoking... I can't even [laugh] no oh my God that's so funny! all righ,t that's a perfect picture. I love that! I don't know if that was meant to be hate, but it made me laugh. so like my magnet, I found one of my abayas that's been missing. it was in the suitcase. we haven't unboxed yet. I keep forgetting ...do you unpack this one suitcase finally? did it you know... the hardest part of um putting together your home is organizing. I like finding, like, nice containers and all this stuff. I got um these nice little baskets, little baskets to put under the TV so we can put all our stuff in there you know? like watches and stuff like tha...t Chargers and especially we have to cat proof the home so, like, every, lik,e even this.
I'm not gonna put it take it off and I'm not gonna put it somewhere because the cat will lose it... remember I used to have that problem with the bees or Cuts I had with um with Sam and BBJ with my earrings? I would always only have one... yeah hi Cassie! did you uh forget your biscuit again? yeah ,thank God my family's okay now... but uh you know I'm kind of worried... like, I don't know the fires are getting bad eh?
pretty sure what New York looked like yesterday from the smoke... no, I have to look at all this up. I guess I've just been really self-absorbed. I haven't really been paying attention, but yeah are there wildfires like every year in California or like, the Wildfire is just like, remember how bad they were in Australia a couple years ago... a few years ago? I had a lot of beezers and viewers then in Australia. I was worried... about there's a lot of school and outside activities canceled? oh wow! that's bad! I'm sure the kids love that! hi blacks,hey long time no see! I missed you guy,s you know ?I used to pray for some kind of natural disaster when I was in school years... anything to get out of going, you know, like, are you sure the buses are not canceled today? you're still going I'm getting great, like, one before my mom had a car I'm getting Grandpa to drive you ...no I don't want to go to school [Laughter]
I used to pray for any illness... I know it's bad, but any cold any flu you... now I even remember like being in class with some kid who would be sneezing and you could tell they're getting sick and I'd be, like, you know, they'd be, like, okay, pick a partner for your for your uh project? okay, I want to go with the sick kid so I can catch his flu so I don't I can miss school. uh anything I hated, I hated going... I hated getting up in the morning since I was born. I was even late coming out of the womb, like, my mom had to have a C-section. I didn't want to come out... I was late... I was supposed to come out... mine was I supposed to be born I think the 26th... Kelly's pretty bad but it's been cool, like a cucumber...really how much snow? oh, it has to be like 30 centimeters or more for them to cancel school well it has to be a lot.
[Music] oh the flyers in Nova Scotia
[Laughter] the other options of school was wishing for a disaster... yeah, I was like please give me the flu! everyone's getting the flu but me, I swear it must have been the Papaya juice my mom used to give me in my lunches. I hated Papaya juice. I don't think I ever told her and just suffered in silence... a lot of vitamin C... give me the Capri Sun! it's very smoky where I am in Northern Ontario jeez lemon mint, cough, hey where were you I've already been... I've already been.
coughing what the [ __ ] I swear... I ate it going to school like, honestly, whenever, like, my mom would check and I had a fever, I was like "yes" because like when you're young, you think you're Immortal... you don't care if you have a cold, you know what I mean? you don't care if you have a fever... you're like, whatever, I can survive this now. well now I worry a bit... you know? I was born at uh yeah warmly I have a dark sense of humor .I was born at 4 30 in the morning. I blame that! I'm being a night owl, yeah... I was born just after midnight explains a lot. Julia's so cute! how is she? I know everyone is going through it but I'm going through it. you only... oh we're always setting you positive energy blocks... hope you're okay, what's up? you can share with us
um Julia is amazing she's just a Beezer she's a bit of a Beezer and uh but she's so cute and she's so cuddly. like, he's probably the the cuddly she's even more cuddly than BBJ if that's possible. early morning babies are babies born between 4 AM and 8 AM grow up to be persistent. they are generally intelligent and always prepared for different situations. they might face... wow do you know what time you were born babe? that I'm not in that category at all... so I was born what who has a dark web passport what the heck I'm so out of the loop
oh what did Golden say? oh Southern Ontario it is really widespread? yeah, that's what I heard but I didn't know how bad... oh my gosh! it's your husband's birthday? happy birthday zero support! that can be tough.. we're here for you... honestly, like, I like ,to beeze and like why not? we're all humans we all go through hard things. even though we're on the internet doesn't mean that we can't share and you know, be here for each other. you don't even have to explain what's going on all you need to say is you have you're having a hard time you know? to be born during business hours you're, like, I'm not being born during business hour,s mom you got to make those bucks! oh okay, since you've had a date, uh are you like the type that doesn't, you know ,what? getting a babysitter is not that easy... I know, I remember my mom trying to get a babysitter sometimes for me. it was hardened the babysitters I was left with. sometimes remember I told you my story times about one babysitter Beth. ew. yeah
I had some bad babysitters I always tattled on them and never had to see them again. though, so that was good, but yeah it's not as easy you know, it's not as easy as that what people are displaced oh my God. well Canada is really big... there's a lot of places to go but not if the fire's spreading that far. that's crazy !I really hope that everything people stay safe and everything goes well "we have two kids and one special needs so hard I just need a flip a couple of hours sometimes I just don't get that I love my girls but I hope no one takes that out" [reading live chat again]. yeah hey that's totally understandable.. it's very overwhelming... you know, you do your best but he got burnt out. like, caregiver burnout is a real thing... and actually when I worked in healthcare, we used to have a lot of people who would go into homes just to help with respite for people who were burnt out, you know? so at least you recognize that maybe there's some kind of like organization like that you know......Tracy, 18 months? oh my gosh! hi Tracy! I'm glad to see all you beezers here these stats are not accurate but we have to say it yeah, yeah, babe...you set her hair on fire oh my gosh that's Criminal! did you go on a group home after that?
I'm so protective too so that doesn't help uh you just don't let anyone go in yeah I understand. that, you know, you're leaving like loved ones in the care of strangers so it's hard.
hello Tracy! oh that's sweet babe! Maya lobby with your side and bless you sweets. parenting is hard yeah, like you know, I couldn't even imagine! I'm having a you know, like, being a pet mom is challenging. sometimes, honestl,y I couldn't imagine because some universities provide daycare at affordable rates.. that's true... my University had a daycare... excuse me, um I'm glad I never had to visit you know? something about daycare is creep me out... I remember being in daycare, like, I remember the smell of like old microwave dinners the cots... the cots that we had to take naps on. I had to go to a daycare after school and they made us have a nap every, every, every class. I went to as a young kid. there's always a kid who pukes. I don't know why, but there's always a pukey kid. sometimes I was a puke kid on the bus and then they always made us play with this like water and cornstarch mixture daycare. oh I'm glad I'm an adult as much, as... as much as life could be crap when you're an adult I don't miss being a child.
hi Katie Katie! she lost a few strands thank you guys, to see each event! hey, you're in the right place the hen is not itchy like thank goodness. you know, because I did look it up and apparently people have more issues with the block. which I didn't know... but they made me sign a waiver and I was wondering why. but now I know allergies... but oh thank goodness. yeah "I love being a mom but it can sure be hard not having any yeah not having any support" is definitely tough for sure, thanks Fox! yeah permanent is harder for sure... you'll have to replay later yeah I've been on for about 47 minutes.
what's Loch key, hey Chloe ,Tabor! am I saying that right? welcome, welcome! We're Gonna Save beeze hello! oh yeah Ali's a new Beezer. I missed the economy when I was a child. now I'm working everything... ye,s you're right. the economy was and it seemed people back then like in the 80s you know, um, from the I was born in the 80s... so old oh my gosh, everything was different, you're right. like, people had, like, you know? were able to sustain a life with jobs. you know, like, I don't know the quality of things just seemed better. I don't know how to explain it... like, even I don't know... maybe I'm not remembering that right. whenever you're a kid everything is just like the world is like mysterious. now when you start learning everything about it... it's like, you know,... well before I became like, religious, there was a huge period of time where everything just felt hopeless and meaningless... and I was like atheist for a point and I was like what the heck is the point of this, you know?
it's so mundane and tedious and you know... and now it's not like that wine and grapes come.. company yeah bringing up children because you're always having to dedicate all of your time to them. like, you're responsible for the bringing up of a whole human! like, that just terrifies me... like, even having a cat... hi witchy! hi beaters! sommelier! that's what it's called... nice that's interesting but if you can, you're strong you seem very strong .blacks so, if anyone can do it, it's you. I don't believe God gives us anything more than we can handle and honestly? even though it tests our limits, like, I don't know if people just think everything is just going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. like, life is how can we be tested as people, if we don't go through hard things, you know, so it's just I see things in a very different perspective than I did even just last year, you know? and just getting rid of that hopeless feelings um helps me deal with depression in a lot of ways... there's a lot of ways I try to deal with my depression. um instead of ignoring it, uh, there's still a lot of things and tools I could use... but I find that my faith medication and just proper self-learning techniques of how to deal with anxieties and things, you know ,more emotional intelligence... that I'm really trying those things have been really, really, really hard to learn.
oh my gosh! yeah, I heard they're insane on me. that's what we've been saying! just bought Resident Evil 4, Jack ...nice have you been playing? have you started playing? I didn't know you were a gamer... no, I don't go to therapy here. therapy is ridiculously expensive here ridiculous like I think well from what a research I did it's like very very expensive like very but not just that um it's I guess I just cope with like learning like watching a lot of videos... reading a lot about emotional intelligence, coping techniques. like, this social media can be very useful for educational things. like, that um also I you know pray a lot and turn to my faith read the Quran and just, I don't know ...I feel like I've matured a little bit in that way, you know? an online therapist? that's like, yeah, I keep forgetting about that... move a TV? oh my gosh it must be strong! I think one therapist I checked was like 500 K.D that's like two thousand dollars, unless I got that wrong. maybe it was 500... I don't know... definitely give that to the when I when it piles on. just gets a lot it... does health issues it just piles on? yeah it seems insufferable. so like, uh, insurmountable sometimes content over meditation how you cope with negativity that's a good idea, thanks, Jack. thanks guys for noticing... he used to be a gamer what's your favorite all time? I don't know if I'm... in a minute... I'm gonna check it out again, actually and see. because I was a while ago. I checked... I don't even know if I have it right. but I remember being expensive a lot more than Canada.
Korean Pizza what's on that? I have an online there like uh Korean Fried Chicken. I have an online therapist and it's been good not sure how much it would be in Kuwait. though yeah I'd have to check the Korean. I've heard of sushi Pizza, that sounds gross to me. has anyone have sushi Pizza? reading the Bible, yeah whatever.... reading whatever religious text that you follow can be very calming, yeah... even just like when you're praying... it's like calming. Resident Evil 2 right here... another Resident Evil fan! Salah your favorite is Resident Evil 4 right? because you love Ashley so much. Sushi burritos, whoa, "you can't take care of others with an empty cup" that's true, yeah... that's why they say you have to take care of yourself first, but I mean how realistic is that? it's so hard to do ,you know, to find time for yourself when it's just constantly like, you know....
I can't even compare but even with a kitten like I forget how much work they are because I was so used to having adult cats, you know? for a long time but I remember, even BBJ was a Beezer. Sam was a Beezer, you know ,and you have to cat proof your house. you have to keep an eye on them when they're awake, and sometimes when she's sleeping, I'm like oh finally! you know? like, she's not busying because like I have to like get up so many times to like make sure she doesn't get to the through. Like I have to hide every wire.. every everything, everything in the house. but she's worth it... actually gross, okay Golden Girl, no problem. short rib pizza? oh my gosh! that sounds so good! yum! yeah happy birthday to him... I'm so proud of you having a higher power and seeing purpose. do you drink ever at all or no drinking? a Mormon? oh really Chloe oh you were Mormon? um no I don't drink anymore... um any kind of um mind-altering substance you know is is like forbidden it in Islam. but um CBD is... is okay though because it's not like mind-altering. but drinking is definitely... drinking is like illegal here. you won't find... you won't find out any legal alcohol here. I don't know about illegal... I don't know anything about that... but you won't find any legal alcohol here. you know,
oh my God ,what did you do all day? well it depends on the day lemon mint. I mean, like, a regular domestic day? is that what you mean? because it just depends you know, like, I... I'm planning on doing some day in the life of videos. Maybe. you know but you know, it just depends. depends on the day. um regular domestic stuff most days you know taking care of the pet the pets keep me busy um you know cleaning just stuff. like, that doing videos talking to family. we go out sometimes, go run errands. go get coffee. go get dinner. whatever. go to the movies ,stuff like that. how's the beezing kitties? she's so mischievous I do give her already some kind of chicken Pate she loves it... hi baby...alcohols... yeah, I believe that too. more dangerous than media need a Beezer membership buddy. yeah, I really haven't can't believe I haven't come up with merch yet.
hey babe, hi baby... what's up for you, baby? oh did she give me a creepy chocolate. hi, I miss you... you're so handsome. I love math thank you, honey. I think it looks cool. what kind of mask is this guys? is this the Anarchy mask? I like your hair guys.. don't tell her it's Secret [Laughter] it's that V for Vendetta mask isn't it? you ever see that movie V for Vendetta? no, foreign Edition? ah, yeah, I think it is vendetta. The Purge has started. chocolate creepy chocolates, thanks babe. I didn't know we had any more of these. I thought we ~I~ ate them all. I'm kidding! are you alone there without me? yes, I'll come soon. software on it, love you, love you most, love you mostly look pretty. Tracy we were actually... we were out shopping and he's like what do you think of this mask? it was like a store with all masks in it. this is a milk. have you ever had these? they're good. I'm gonna try.. I'm not really hungry. I had too much to eat but hmm I put your tea and sasqually... my God she's a pig... foreign I go through like two of these a day! it's not diabetes I should do a review of Quake snacks, yeah. because they do have a lot of different ones. like, you've seen some of them in my grocery hauls you know the pop pops? they have a lot of like a lot of things... a lot of things are flavored with zatar you guys know what that is? around oh.
[Laughter] Julius here hi!
hi baby, oh, oh she doesn't want to be held right now. hi, honey... she looks like church... hi baby... let me holder better.. okay. honey it's okay. it's okay. it's okay.... she might be scared of your man... she's purring. oh really? oh baby girl
hi sweetie oh you're a sweet girl here oh poor girl okay yeah yellow.. say bye. say bye! yeah I sing to her. you kno,w the song, um the queen hi! to me vintage SO thanks Chloe! my shisha's done anyways. so you want a Calico? she looks like church from um pet cemetery. her eyes the same color. she's so she's so cute anyway.s um oh yeah so you want a fat ginger cat and call him Garfield? zatar is like a seasoning made out of like Thyme and like I think sesame seeds. I don't know, lik,e exactly what's in it... but it's mostly made of thyme so it's really tasty. actually I want to go cuddle Julia now. she's... but she eats a lot. she eats a lot mashallah. she eats a lot she has a good appetite on her. she's so small. I think kittens eat more right? because they're growing but we feed her wet and dry and I give her some cremo treats. those creamy treats, she really loves those. so yeah that's Julia next time I'll show you Halloween Howie try sumac yeah, I have tried sumac before. like, in babba ganoush and stuff. it's like sour a bit. eh or something.. I don't know... I know what I know what it tastes like... I need to whiten my teeth or just wear red lipstick. look what you have here Harry he's here on this side is here on this side. hi Emily! let me grab him for the cage
[Music] hi Emmy here he is oh you big boy Hey Big Boy
[Music] oh Howie don't fall out there's a cat now! I'm kidding! hi everyone! rattler I love you so much, you big fat boy! damn son, he's cute. say "bye, hello, bye-bye yellow" back to your home. he doesn't want to get off my hand yeah it looks like a final grumpy Haggard rat freak and oil thanks, babe. vitamin C, really? I didn't know that, she's cut...e you don't want to come off my hand because he doesn't want to go back in the cage. is that a rat? I'm gonna tease him now. are you a rat are you a mouse are you a hamster? I always say that to him he's a hamster. but he looks like a mouse. I don't know he's a freak of nature. I don't know what to say but yeah he's um he's so cute. I love him he's my big boy, Howie! I let him run around and he was Beason... he got he kind of got stuck under the door but no not actually stuck but he was trying to get out. he's a ratster. oh my God, yes... are you a register? he looks like a hamster to me, yeah. he's like a big chubby hamster and he likes to just like, we this is the second wheel we get him. so we got him a wheel and we moved all the hang out of the way and it's turning fine. you know, the guy at the store was even like, this moves really well. so we put the new wheel inside and remember, whenever we got first got him, he was in that little cage? he was playing on that little wheel but this feels way bigger instead. of he doesn't like that it moves. he doesn't like that it moves so he went out of his way to move the hay, all the hay I took the trouble of moving out for him he put it all back to so that the wheel would be stationary because he likes to sit in the wheel and clean his bum, so he likes to have a clean bum cleaning station and it has to be stationary. he's got his own little like hamster rap personality. he likes to go to the bathroom in one corner. um he chooses wood. he loves his corn. any I have a medley a hamster food medley with like all different nuts and seeds but he only eats certain things. and I could tell when he's had it like I have to replenish his food because only these little grain. he doesn't .I think there's like quinoa... I'm not sure. there's like these tiny little circle pellets he doesn't like them. so he leaves them. he only eats the the certain things inside the medley. he's so picky and weird. I don't know he's a weirdo. That's What I Love About Pets. they all have their own like different little personality. you know personalities? chinchillas they're so cute... yeah they had some at the pet store. I couldn't believe some of the animals they had there! like they had meerkats. they had tucans, like, some people have pet tucans. they're very demanding like, like, having having an exotic pet like that?
anyways guys I think I'm gonna go because it's like late here and I want to go to bed and you know, relax. getting some coffee PJs? oh excuse me... Birds scare the crap out of you, really? I love birds. you have weasels? get out of here! like, the weasels from um Roger rabbits? does Harry still get to run? yeah like he's most of the time in this room, I only came in here to smoke but I don't have my shisha... finish I think it's finished um other than that every day like twice a day. first I come in replenish his, like, spot clean, give him some fruits and vegetables. replenish his Kibbles. then I take him out. he always comes out of his little hay hen and goes like he knows I'm in here. and then I let him run around. and there's like still Parcels in here from moving and stuff. he likes to climb them like they're Mount Everest for him. he's weird. I don't know who he climbs but he likes to run around and then I put him back in attend to Julia. then I come back at night and let him play a bit, you know? but I have to stay in here like I don't.. I could let him stay but I don't know I prefer to just ever since he tried to get up the bottom of the door. I watch him now that I'm in here. he can't be unsupervised he's not trusted. he lost my treasury, so I just set up the gaming station and just watch videos or whatever preferable. if Julia's asleep because she gets very Territorial and like, jealous if I'm in here with the door closed. so kind of thing, anyway... it was nice chatting with you guys um thanks for watching me play with my hijab for an hour uh yeah so what was I gonna say.
I guess that's it, I'm tired. so um thanks for beezing and I hope all of you guys days get better and easier and we'll chat next time. I guess, yeah, um maybe next stream I'll try to think of something fun to do. I like just coming on here and just chatting though really I don't know I like just talking and socializing it's like a form of socialization for me I guess but yeah my beezers so guys thanks for a reason without a reason that's what I'll call it be then without a reason um and I'll see you in my next video or my next live stream so toodaloop, bye guys.

“I’m sorry; we’re going to astral travel to a flea market?” Charlotte asked incredulously as she watched Genevieve and I set up a meditation circle under the shade of a towering old willow tree in my cemetery. “What if we want to buy something? How will we bring it back?”
“We’re not going there to shop, Lottie. Samantha’s finally had a vision about Emrys,” Genevieve explained.
The Veil between the Physical and Astral Planes is exceptionally weak in my cemetery, especially at night and on hallowed days. When I sleep there, my subconscious mind is highly receptive to all manner of revelations from the Spirit World. When I saw a Blood Moon rise on the night of May fifth, the same night as a penumbral eclipse, I knew that my dreams would be prophetic.
“I had a dream about him last Friday,” I expounded. “He’s at some sort of otherworldly marketplace, one that’s not connected to the Crypto Chthonic Cuniculi, so it’s mostly inaccessible to the Ophion Occult Order. In my dream, Emrys invited us to come and speak with him while we were lucid. He drew a sigil for me, the same one I’ve drawn in the middle of the mediation circle. He said that all I’d have to do is toss an Undying Rose – the earthly effigy of the rose Persephone used to steal a drop of his blood – into the sigil and it will become an astral portal to where he is.”
I held up the deep purple rose that I had cut from its bush earlier that day. I don’t know for certain where the roses came from, but my best guess is that they were made by the same Occultist who hallowed my cemetery to Persephone; Artaxerxes Crow. They have some connection to Emrys as well, since the only other time I saw someone else use one was when his avatar was summoned into the Physical Plane on Halloween 2020.
Knowing that Emrys wouldn’t dare to set foot in a place that was sacred to the Goddess who was ultimately responsible for his cosmic defeat, I gently tossed the rose into the middle of the sigil.
“He invited all of us?” Charlotte asked with an incredulous raising of her eyebrow.
“He said me and my coven. If he had just meant me or me and Genevieve he would have said that,” I replied. “You and Elam are coming too. I want as many eyes on this place as possible so that we don’t miss anything. We may not get an opportunity like this again.”
“And this is safe? Visiting some random flea market between worlds?” Charlotte asked.
“Samantha and I have visited the Underworld and come back no problem,” Genevieve reminded her. “So long as we’re bound to our bodies and Elam is bound to Samantha, we can come back anytime. Don’t worry; this is going to be a blast! Adventures like these are the best part of being a Witch.”
“The only reason you were able to go to the Underworld is because Samantha’s cemetery came with an astral portal in the back,” Charlotte countered, gesticulating in the general direction of the archway that was still partially visible behind the light spring foliage. “Other than that, when have any of us ever done anything useful with our astral projection? This is still a physical place, right? We don’t have any of our physical senses available to us when we astral project, and I get extremely disoriented trying to navigate the mortal plane with clairvoyance alone.”
“It is a physical place, but one saturated with astral energy and full of occultists and occult artifacts. It will be extremely illuminated to our clairvoyance,” I assured her. “Elam will also be there to guide us. As a ghost, he’s much more practiced at traversing the mortal plane in an astral form.”
Charlotte folded her arms over her chest and turned to look at Elam, who was leaning up against the willow tree as he waited for us.
“I don’t suppose you could go and scout the place out for us ahead of time?” she asked.
“I can’t go too far from Samantha, and definitely not across planes,” he said with a shake of his head. “But Eve’s right. Your astral bodies will be in no danger, and you can return here in an instant whenever you want.”
“But what about Emrys? Didn’t that book Leon gave you say that he’s some sort of soul-flayer?” Charlotte asked me.
“It did,” I admitted. “Keep in mind though, that book was written by his enemies. I want to hear his side of things before this conflict of theirs spirals out of control.”
“Any update from Chamberlin about that?” Elam asked.
“Yeah, he said that after he failed to purify the Sigil Sand, Ivy’s onboard with negotiating some kind of truce with Emrys,” I replied. “The Grand Adderman’s still reticent, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s running out of options. I need to find out if Emrys will agree to peace talks.”
“Um, I get that, but I’m still kind of hung up on him potentially flaying our souls,” Charlotte reiterated.
“If Emrys and the Ophion Occult Order go to all-out war, there’ll be a lot of collateral damage and innocent souls caught in the crossfire,” Genevieve told her, gently grabbing hold of her and looking her straight in the eye. “Samantha, Elam, and I are doing this because if there’s any chance we can put an end to this before it starts, then it’s our responsibility to try. You don’t have to come with us, Lottie, but you’re still a member of our coven. Samantha and I would both feel a lot better with you there to help us.”
“Arghhh! All right, fine! I’ll come with you,” Charlotte gave in, plopping her butt down on the edge of the meditation circle. “If we’re holding hands, that will help keep our astral bodies together too, right?”
“I believe it should, yes,” I smiled at her, sitting down and reaching out for her hand.
Genevieve lit the incense and her bong filled with the entheogenic Delphi Dream, before sitting down to join us. She took a hit from the bong before passing it to me, and then to Charlotte before setting it aside out of the circle.
“Start with taking a deep breath, completely filling the lungs, and holding it for five heartbeats,” she guided us as she took hold of each of our hands. “Exhale completely, and wait five more heartbeats before breathing in again. Eyes closed, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Focus on the astral energies flowing through you with each breath, gently aligning each chakra until those energies are enough to lift you up and out of your body.”
In unison with one another, the three of us slowly breathed in and out, ignoring the material world around us and focusing upon the task at hand. Eve was first, as usual, and because we were all holding hands, Charlotte and I felt her eagerly tugging us up to speed us along.
I opened my eyes, and beheld the dull and muted Physical Plane through my clairvoyance, everything outshined by the radiant forms of my coven mates. I noted that Genevieve had eschewed her normal skyclad form when astral projecting and instead wore a cloak like Charlotte and I.
“Are you worried this place might have a no shirt, no shoes, no souls, no service policy?” I teased her.
“I just don’t want to risk a confrontation over it. I realize how important this is,” she answered. “Though I’m not actually wearing shoes, now that you mention it.”
“Christ, look at the sigil Samantha drew!” Charlotte said, pointing down at the meditation circle beneath us. The sigil wasn’t just glowing but flowing as well, churning the Aether around it in a misty, spectral vortex. “It’s an astral portal, isn’t it?”
“Oh yeah. It’s not stable, though. Good for one trip only,” Genevieve said with a delighted smile. “And Lottie, since we’re Neopagan Witches, try not to swear by Christ, okay?”
“Jesus!” she swore, both in defiance and in genuine annoyance.
“Elam! Elam, come join the circle! I don’t want to take any chances of severing our bond,” I instructed, letting go of Charlotte’s hand and waving him in between us.
Faithful Familiar that he was, he obeyed without hesitation. Despite my concerns, I think that he probably could have stayed behind if he had wanted. The fact that he was willing to follow me to an unknown otherworld without complaint really made me appreciate how devoted he was to me.
“We step in together on the count of three, got it?” I instructed, each of them nodding clearly in response. “One. Two. Three!”
We all extended our right feet into the vortex together, and the instant we did we were swept away, falling out of our own world and tumbling between the cracks of countless others. They weren’t real, I don’t think. At least, not as real as our world. They were potential realities, or realities that could have been once but now can never be, or fantasies that are so persistent in the minds of real people that in some sense or another, they become real themselves. I only saw glimmers of them, glimmers in nebulas made of primeval chaos and uttermost void.
It was outside of time, that place we travelled through, or at least we had no sense of it there. Our souls were haphazardly spat out upon a surreal landscape of earth, sea, and fire. Hilly plains of volcanic ash, incandescent calderas of lava and bubbling hot springs all intermeshed in a chaotic mosaic that didn’t seem to abide by any laws of geology or geography that I was familiar with. A strong but slow wind pushed fractal formations of dark silver clouds through a pale silver sky, illuminated by a single white orb which could have been either a bright moon or a faint sun.
While our spectral feet left no trace upon the ash we now stood upon, our presence nonetheless elicited a response from some of the local fauna. We were just able to catch a glimpse of some kind of shimmering scarabs burrowing themselves into the ash to escape the four otherworldly ghosts that had invaded their territory.
“Holy shit,” Charlotte murmured as we all gazed out upon the strange world we had found ourselves on. “This really isn’t on the Astral Plane. This is a real planet. This a real, alien planet! This is unbelievable!”
Genevieve glided over to one of the bubbling pools and peered into it, looking for any more signs of life.
“There’s some kind of bluish-grey algae growing on the rocks down there, and I think I can make out some small arthropods too. This planet’s alive!” she announced with glee, smiling and looking up at the alien sky.
Conjuring an astral approximation of my staff, I plunged it into a small mound of ash beside me. I watched curiously as the scarabs shot out in all directions, moving too quickly for me to get a good look at them, before scurrying back into the surrounding ash.
“These bugs can sense our presence,” I remarked. “How and why would clairvoyance evolve in insects on this world, and why would their first instinct be to flee?”
“Samantha!” Elam called out. “I think I found the Flea Market.”
We all gathered around him and looked where he was pointing. On a distant dune, we beheld the moulted carapace of a colossal insect, gleaming a brilliant, lustrous gold in the broken white light.
“That’s impossible!” Charlotte claimed. “That thing must be hundreds of meters long! No insect, no animal period could ever get that big on the Physical Plane!”
“It could be the Incarnation of some kind of Titan,” Genevieve suggested. “But… it’s dead. I can tell that even from here. It’s dead. It’s the corpse of a dead god, and now it’s being used as a swap meet with a punny name. Either whatever killed it just abandoned it, or…”
“Or is running the place,” I finished for her. “Well, we should see if we can find Emrys.”
In an instant, the world moved around us until we were at the entrance to the Flea Market. The colossal carapace was hollow inside, of course, and had been filled with a bustling city that looked like it had been created in the most ad hoc manner possible. There wasn’t a single straight street to be seen, and they converged with one another at random intervals. Stalls and buildings varied wildly in both design and materials, all imported from a plethora of different cultures across the planes.
Enormous shards of luminous glass levitated above the throng like a thousand Swords of Damocles, any or all of them seeming capable of succumbing to gravity at any moment. In the very center of the moulted husk dangled a great spiralling chrysalis or hive woven of iridescent silk, its function not being immediately apparent to me.
There must have been thousands of people there, and hundreds of merchants hawking their wares. Most of those who looked human still seemed a little off, like they were members of ethnicities that didn’t exist in our world. Some of the beings were near-human in appearance, many seemingly some kind of Fey or Seelie folk. There was even a small handful of people that weren’t remotely human at all.
The only thing they all had in common was that none were native to this world.
“Most of these people are here in person, aren’t they?” Charlotte asked.
“It would’ve been quite a feat for them to have built all of this while astral projecting,” Genevieve agreed.
“But if this place isn’t connected to the Cuniculi, then how did they get here?” Charlotte asked. “We’re on another planet, maybe even in another dimension. If getting here is beyond the Ooo’s abilities, then what sort of ungodly reality benders decided to turn it into a Flea Market?”
“Ladies, gentlemen, and any beings either too ancient and alien or too modern and alienated to settle on one or the other, come bear witness to one of the most astounding and atrocious abominations on this or any other world!” a fast-paced male voice rang out over the din of the crowd.
We turned to see a short, skinny, old-timey sort of carnival barker standing on a literal soap box, placed next to a large object draped in a black tarp.
“For the paltry price of a single three-headed coin, you can peer beneath the veil and behold with your own unbelieving eyes the mangled and mutilated monstrosity that lurks beneath!” the carnival barker continued. “But I must warn you, it is not possible to truly understand what dwells underneath without seeing it first! I cannot guarantee that you will still retain your sanity or will to live after witnessing the proverbial Mountains of Madness, for this low creature is truly like no other and serves only as a grim testament to the cruel sadism of the Lord Above! Anyone plagued by even the faintest lingering doubt as to their spiritual fortitude should not dare to even contemplate what might lie before me! But, for those brave, noble few who are truly dauntless of heart and incorrigible of spirit, I am proud to share with you this rare, unfathomable, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to witness sublime –”
The carnival barker was interrupted by a man yanking the sheet off the object beside him, revealing it to be a mirror.
“Whelp, that was a hell of an Im14andthisisdeep post, eh?” Charlotte mused.
Genevieve and I, however, were far too stunned to be amused; not by the mirror, but by the man who had unveiled it.
“It’s him, Lottie. That’s Emrys,” Genevieve whispered.
We had only seen him briefly once before, more than two-and-a-half years ago, but he was far from what anyone would call forgettable. He was tall and gaunt, with literal blue blood flowing beneath translucent skin. His long, receding hair and regal beard were pitch black, and dark miasma wafted from his eyes, nose, and mouth. He was dressed in dark sable robes with three overlapping Ouroboros’s tattooed on his forehead, with a pair of ophidian pupils lying in the spaces between them.
What stood out the most to us were the six silver Ouroboros chains bound around his wrists, ankles, waist, and neck. These were the chains the Ophion Occult Order had made to limit the power of his physical avatar, and it seemed he had not yet found a way to free himself from them.
“Are you still here?” Emrys asked in exasperation, tossing the veil back at the carnival barker in disdain.
“…Possibly,” the strange man replied evasively. “But not definitively, for purely legalistic reasons.”
“I believe Mathom-meister was quite clear when he said that your rather pitiful chicanery wasn’t welcomed here,” Emrys reminded him.
“And who is he to judge chicanery from cutthroat, capitalistic competition? Should not the Flea Market be a free market?” the charlatan demanded. “And while we’re on the topic of commerce, I don’t suppose you have enough three-headed coins to pay for all the poor souls you have so discourteously exposed to my exhibit against their will? I’d hate to have to start shaking people down to get my due.”
“Hard to believe your own circus threw you out,” Emrys said with a sardonic eye roll as he tossed him a small medallion. “You get one coin. Take it and get out of my sight.”
The charlatan flipped the coin in the air thrice, presumably to confirm it actually had three heads. Satisfied with its impossible dimensions, he shoved it into his pocket.
“It will cover the trolley ride home, at least,” he acquiesced, stepping off his soap box and turning to face his looking glass. “A shame though you can’t see the genius in my little avant-garde performance piece here, Emmy. Even I know that the monster in the mirror is often the hardest to recognize.”
As the man reached to pick up his mirror, his reflection’s arms shot through the glass and grabbed him by the wrists, pulling him in. Emrys immediately tried to chase after him, but bounced off the glass as if there was nothing supernatural about it at all.
“Bastard!” he cursed under his breath, before turning towards us and giving us a small apologetic smile. “I’m sorry you had to see that rather pathetic display. Unfortunately, the few meeting places I know of that are relatively safe from any Ophionic incursion also attract their fair share of other annoying miscreants.”
“If it didn’t attract a little bit of everything, it wouldn’t be a Flea Market, would it?” I asked rhetorically. “Thank you, Emrys, for inviting us. I’ve never been anywhere like this before.”
“And thank you for accepting. Samantha, Genevieve, it’s a pleasure to see you again, and a relief that you have not fallen under the auspices of the Ophion Occult Order,” he said with a gentle bow. “Elam, I remember you as well. Valiant but not reckless, you remained atop Pendragon Hill during my battle with the Darlings until your mistress was well out of harm’s way, and then you got the hell out of dodge yourself. Samantha couldn’t hope for a better Familiar. And Charlotte, any Witch that Samantha deemed worthy to induct into her coven is obviously someone whose acquaintance I am pleased to make. Welcome, all of you, to Mathom-meister’s Flea Market!”
“So this is where you’ve been hiding out the past two years?” Genevieve asked.
“Oh no. Far too Cosmopolitan for my tastes,” Emrys replied. “No, this is just a friendly place to meet those I consider friends – or potential friends, at least. I’d offer to show you around, but I know it’s difficult for you to astral travel for prolonged periods. Come with me to Mathom-meister’s house where we can talk freely, and we’ll discuss the situation with the Order.”
I gave him a small, single nod in response, and gestured with my staff that he should lead the way. He responded by pointing upwards, then vanished into his shadow form. When we looked up, we saw him waving at us from a balcony atop the great silken chrysalis.
We exchanged hesitant glances with one another, but ultimately followed him into the strange structure, moving from the ground to the balcony in an instant by will alone.
“How would an incarnate being get up here if they couldn’t fly or teleport?” Charlotte asked as she peered over the balcony’s teetering edge.
As though answering a summons, a humanoid creature apparated beside her in a flash of dark vapours. The hunched-back entity stood over six-and-a-half feet tall, and was clad in golden-brown erudite robes. Its squid-like skin was of a similar colour, and its entire face was a single gaping orifice that held a wispy, glowing orb in the center of its skull which I immediately recognized as its soul. A pair of long, fanged tentacles lined with pores and tendrils hung down from its head like a long, forked beard, and the seven digits shared by its two hands all bore wicked-looking talons, as did its two-toed, digitigrade feet.
“Not fly or teleport? What sort of pedestrian house guests do you think I entertain here?” the being asked wryly, its voice seeming to come from nowhere in particular.
Charlotte instinctively backed away from the creature and into the protective fold of our coven, but Emrys was quick to hold up his hand to plead for calm.
“Please, there’s no need for alarm. This is our host, Mathom-meister. He’s the only reason any of this is here in the first place,” Emrys informed us. “A year or two ago a companion of his unfortunately became one of the Darling Twin’s victims, and when he heard of my vendetta with them, he tracked me down; which is no small feat, I assure you.”
“It is for us. My people are a race of Planeswalkers. Traversing the many worlds of Creation is second nature to us,” Mathom-meister explained.
“I’ve… I’ve heard of your people, I think,” I said, softly and unsurely. “A friend of mine had an encounter with an artifact that gave her a vision of a race of strange and powerful sorcerers slaying their own god. I take it you’re the ones who slayed this Scarab Titan as well? That’s, that’s…”
“Horrifying, yes. That’s the idea,” he nodded. “You have nothing to worry about, young Witch. My people have no special interest in your world. This is purely personal. My friend is dead, and I want his murderers brought to justice; a goal which Emrys and I happen to have in common.”
“Feel free to share this information with the Ophion Occult Order, Samantha,” Emrys said. “I’d very much like for the Darling Twins to know what’s hunting them. Mathom-meister, please excuse me while I take my guests inside. We do have pressing business to discuss and their time is limited.”
The squid-cyclopes bowed gracefully, and my coven and I quickly scurried after Emrys as he led us inside through a towering hallway and into a large chamber that had been appointed as a living space.
I had thought that Emrys would want to speak with us alone, which was why I was surprised to see a young woman sitting cross-legged on a spongey yet chitinous object that I will for the sake of my sanity call a bean bag chair. Like Emrys, she was pale and blue-blooded, her choppy hair as black as coal. She wore a black robe and heavy black eyeliner, but these could not conceal the fact that she too had thin wisps of miasma emanating from her eyes.
“Is that your… daughter?” Charlotte asked, as baffled by her presence as any of us. The woman smiled warmly at the question.
“In a way. I was dead, and Emrys gave me new life. Now a part of the Outer Primordial Darkness he represents lives in me too,” she said serenely.
Hovering above her left palm were three small bluish-green orbs, lazily going around in a circle. They were translucent and held something inside them that I couldn’t make out, but the orbs themselves appeared to be melting and solidifying by the woman’s will.
“You’re Petra, aren’t you?” I asked as I cautiously approached her. “Chamberlin had mentioned that Emrys had taken an acolyte. I’m Samantha, and this is Genevieve, Elam, and Charlotte.”
“I know. The whole reason we’re here is to speak with you,” she nodded.
“The Ophion Occult Order calls me a soul-flayer, and I’m sure you were all wondering exactly what that meant before you came here,” Emrys said, standing proudly behind his acolyte. “Well, this is it. The Darkness Beyond is now a part of her, and a part of her now lives within the Darkness Beyond. She is not unchanged from what she was before, but neither has what she was been lost.”
“My interpretation of the term ‘soul-flaying’ was the complete removal of a person’s consciousness from their astral and physical bodies to be subsumed by your Darkness,” I countered. “They told me that what you’ve done with Petra here is just the limit of your power while you’re bound in their chains. Are you telling me that if your chains were broken, you wouldn’t be able to do any worse than this?”
“On my physical avatar? No. So long as my astral form remains chained and bound with the World Serpent, I cannot cleave a conscious mind from its astral substrate,” Emrys assured me.
“But that is your ultimate goal, isn’t it? Breaking the chains the Ophion Occult Order put on you is just a stepping stone to breaking the ones the gods bound you with?” Genevieve asked. “You’ve allied yourself with a literal god slayer. Do you expect us to believe that his people’s abilities aren’t something you intend to put to your own ends?”
“I don’t have an ultimate goal so much as I have a fundamental principle of opposing tyranny,” he claimed. “When I was a mere man, thousands of years ago, I was a tyrant. I believed that might made right so unquestionably that when my might began to fail me, the only thing I could think to do was to try everything in my power to restore it. This quest eventually led to me becoming one with the Darkness Beyond, which gave me not only the might I coveted but the wisdom I didn’t know I needed. It gave me perspective. It made me stronger than any human alive at that point but still let me realize how insignificant I was. It was humbling, and enlightening, and filled me both with remorse over my past actions and an impetus to use my newfound gifts to rectify them. I tried to overthrow the gods themselves which, in hindsight, was overly ambitious. I not only failed but had my soul devoured by the World Serpent, where it still resides to this day.
“I am not eager to bring the wrath of the gods down upon me once again. No, for now, I will be content to end the tyranny of the Ophion Occult Order. This is the message I’d like you to relay to them. If the Grand Adderman agrees to unbind my chains and step down from his post, I will spare his life. If he declines, I want the rest of the Order to know that I will show mercy to any who sides with me over him. I am willing to allow the Order to exist so long as it agrees to become more decentralized, democratic, and accountable. They will have to forfeit certain artifacts and individuals in their possession over to me, chief among them the Darling Twins, but I am willing to negotiate. If they aren’t, then I will overthrow the Grand Adderman by whatever means necessary and see the Order scattered to the four winds. It is entirely up to them whether or not the conflict between us escalates to full-on war. Have I made myself clear, Samantha?”
“I think so,” I said as I pensively considered everything he had said. “Why should they trust you to keep your word once your chains are broken? For that matter, why should we?”
He took a moment to consider his response, eyeing me over as though he was trying to divine something that would win over my trust.
“Samantha, you made a pact with Persephone to get your Spirit Familiar there; one where she swore by the River Styx. Is that correct?” he asked.
“It is,” I nodded.
“And in the years since, has Persephone ever broken that pact she swore to?” he asked.
“No, she hasn’t,” I replied.
“I may not be an Old God, but so long as my astral form remains bound by their chains, they have power over me,” he said. “Samantha Sumner, Hedge Witch of Harrowick Woods, I swear on the River Styx that I have spoken no lies to you today. I swear by the River Styx that I will abide by any Covenant that I and the Ophion Occult Order agree to in good faith and fair dealing that they do not break first. I swear by the River Styx that when my chains are broken, I will give you no cause to fear me or regret your trust in me.”
I gave a questioning glance to Genevieve, and then Elam, both of whom nodded in the affirmative.
“All right. An oath sworn on the River Styx is good enough for me. I’ll deliver your terms to Seneca Chamberlin,” I agreed. “I’m very grateful for the trust and respect you’ve shown for me and my coven, Emrys, though I can’t say I quite understand it. Out of all the guests that were there on the Hallow’s Eve you were summoned, why did Evie and I stand out to you?”
“The Ophion Occult Order deemed you worthy of inclusion in their cult, an offer you rejected on principle. You cheated Persephone, but you did it not to gain immortality for yourself but to save your friend from hell. You came here, thinking I could very well tear your souls asunder, but did so because you believed it was your duty to prevent needless suffering,” Emrys answered. “You are extraordinary in your craft, courage, and conscience, the latter of which especially stood out among the degenerates at that party. I do apologize if I frightened you at that event. I was a bit… irritable, given the circumstances. I’m glad we were able to meet again under more pleasant conditions.”
“So am I, Emrys,” I nodded. “I’m not sure exactly what this means or how relevant it is, but Seneca wanted me to tell you that he’s able to offer you the Dream Demon Red Ruck as a sacrifice.”
“Pffft. Tell him it’s hardly a sacrifice if I’m getting rid of a boogie man for him,” he scoffed. “In fact, now that you mention it, Ruck’s one egregore that might be of more use to me alive.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but we were suddenly interrupted by the rapid pounding of a gong somewhere down below. It seemed to be an alarm of some kind, as we could hear the panicked shouting and frantic racing of people either battening down or forsaking the Flea Market altogether.
Mathom-meister apparated into the middle of the room, his facial tentacles reflexively raised in a defensive position.
“Were you outside the market?” he demanded of us.
“The portal we came through deposited us a few miles outside of the market, yes,” I admitted.
“Damn,” Emrys cursed softly, though he sounded more frustrated than angry. “Meister, it’s not their fault. I knew they weren’t experienced Planeswalkers, I could have – ”
“It doesn’t matter!” Mathom-meister interjected. “They need to leave, now!”
“Why, what’s going on?” Genevieve demanded.
“The scarabs are swarming,” Petra explained. “Don’t feel bad; it happens often enough that they’re prepared for it.”
I wanted to press for more details, but I could hear the humming of a vast winged swarm steadily encroaching upon us.
“Don’t worry. Once you leave the swarm will disperse… eventually,” Emrys told us. “We’ve said all that need be said for now. Return home, and I’ll reach out to you again shortly, Samantha.”
Again, I wanted to object, but the swarm outside was growing louder and louder, and it occurred to me that we might not be completely safe from a biblical swarm of insects that could not only sense but evidently sought out souls.
This occurred to Charlotte as well, as she was the first of us to vanish and awaken back in her body. We could all feel the weight of her reembodied soul tugging on us to return with her. Genevieve immediately grabbed hold of my right hand and Elam my left, both of them refusing to leave before I did.
I spared one final glance at Emrys, lamenting that we couldn’t have had more time.
“I’ll relay everything you said to the Order. I’ll make sure they know you’re willing to negotiate a truce,” I vowed.
He gave me a gracious nod, and just as we heard the swarm start to pelt the exterior of the market, I forced my physical eyes open and was back in my body, still safely under a willow tree in my cemetery.
I immediately looked beside me to Genevieve, and saw that she was awake as well, and then around me for Elam, who seemed to be suffering a bit of spectral whiplash from being pulled back with me so suddenly, but was otherwise all right. Sighing with relief, I turned lastly to Charlotte, and saw that she was looking down at the mediation circle in dreaded horror.
Following her gaze, I saw that the Undying Rose was gone – spent, perhaps, in exchange for our passage – and in its place was the inert, and hopefully dead, body of one of the shimmering scarabs.

“I’m sorry; we’re going to astral travel to a flea market?” Charlotte asked incredulously as she watched Genevieve and I set up a meditation circle under the shade of a towering old willow tree in my cemetery. “What if we want to buy something? How will we bring it back?”
“We’re not going there to shop, Lottie. Samantha’s finally had a vision about Emrys,” Genevieve explained.
The Veil between the Physical and Astral Planes is exceptionally weak in my cemetery, especially at night and on hallowed days. When I sleep there, my subconscious mind is highly receptive to all manner of revelations from the Spirit World. When I saw a Blood Moon rise on the night of May fifth, the same night as a penumbral eclipse, I knew that my dreams would be prophetic.
“I had a dream about him last Friday,” I expounded. “He’s at some sort of otherworldly marketplace, one that’s not connected to the Crypto Chthonic Cuniculi, so it’s mostly inaccessible to the Ophion Occult Order. In my dream, Emrys invited us to come and speak with him while we were lucid. He drew a sigil for me, the same one I’ve drawn in the middle of the mediation circle. He said that all I’d have to do is toss an Undying Rose – the earthly effigy of the rose Persephone used to steal a drop of his blood – into the sigil and it will become an astral portal to where he is.”
I held up the deep purple rose that I had cut from its bush earlier that day. I don’t know for certain where the roses came from, but my best guess is that they were made by the same Occultist who hallowed my cemetery to Persephone; Artaxerxes Crow. They have some connection to Emrys as well, since the only other time I saw someone else use one was when his avatar was summoned into the Physical Plane on Halloween 2020.
Knowing that Emrys wouldn’t dare to set foot in a place that was sacred to the Goddess who was ultimately responsible for his cosmic defeat, I gently tossed the rose into the middle of the sigil.
“He invited all of us?” Charlotte asked with an incredulous raising of her eyebrow.
“He said me and my coven. If he had just meant me or me and Genevieve he would have said that,” I replied. “You and Elam are coming too. I want as many eyes on this place as possible so that we don’t miss anything. We may not get an opportunity like this again.”
“And this is safe? Visiting some random flea market between worlds?” Charlotte asked.
“Samantha and I have visited the Underworld and come back no problem,” Genevieve reminded her. “So long as we’re bound to our bodies and Elam is bound to Samantha, we can come back anytime. Don’t worry; this is going to be a blast! Adventures like these are the best part of being a Witch.”
“The only reason you were able to go to the Underworld is because Samantha’s cemetery came with an astral portal in the back,” Charlotte countered, gesticulating in the general direction of the archway that was still partially visible behind the light spring foliage. “Other than that, when have any of us ever done anything useful with our astral projection? This is still a physical place, right? We don’t have any of our physical senses available to us when we astral project, and I get extremely disoriented trying to navigate the mortal plane with clairvoyance alone.”
“It is a physical place, but one saturated with astral energy and full of occultists and occult artifacts. It will be extremely illuminated to our clairvoyance,” I assured her. “Elam will also be there to guide us. As a ghost, he’s much more practiced at traversing the mortal plane in an astral form.”
Charlotte folded her arms over her chest and turned to look at Elam, who was leaning up against the willow tree as he waited for us.
“I don’t suppose you could go and scout the place out for us ahead of time?” she asked.
“I can’t go too far from Samantha, and definitely not across planes,” he said with a shake of his head. “But Eve’s right. Your astral bodies will be in no danger, and you can return here in an instant whenever you want.”
“But what about Emrys? Didn’t that book Leon gave you say that he’s some sort of soul-flayer?” Charlotte asked me.
“It did,” I admitted. “Keep in mind though, that book was written by his enemies. I want to hear his side of things before this conflict of theirs spirals out of control.”
“Any update from Chamberlin about that?” Elam asked.
“Yeah, he said that after he failed to purify the Sigil Sand, Ivy’s onboard with negotiating some kind of truce with Emrys,” I replied. “The Grand Adderman’s still reticent, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s running out of options. I need to find out if Emrys will agree to peace talks.”
“Um, I get that, but I’m still kind of hung up on him potentially flaying our souls,” Charlotte reiterated.
“If Emrys and the Ophion Occult Order go to all-out war, there’ll be a lot of collateral damage and innocent souls caught in the crossfire,” Genevieve told her, gently grabbing hold of her and looking her straight in the eye. “Samantha, Elam, and I are doing this because if there’s any chance we can put an end to this before it starts, then it’s our responsibility to try. You don’t have to come with us, Lottie, but you’re still a member of our coven. Samantha and I would both feel a lot better with you there to help us.”
“Arghhh! All right, fine! I’ll come with you,” Charlotte gave in, plopping her butt down on the edge of the meditation circle. “If we’re holding hands, that will help keep our astral bodies together too, right?”
“I believe it should, yes,” I smiled at her, sitting down and reaching out for her hand.
Genevieve lit the incense and her bong filled with the entheogenic Delphi Dream, before sitting down to join us. She took a hit from the bong before passing it to me, and then to Charlotte before setting it aside out of the circle.
“Start with taking a deep breath, completely filling the lungs, and holding it for five heartbeats,” she guided us as she took hold of each of our hands. “Exhale completely, and wait five more heartbeats before breathing in again. Eyes closed, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Focus on the astral energies flowing through you with each breath, gently aligning each chakra until those energies are enough to lift you up and out of your body.”
In unison with one another, the three of us slowly breathed in and out, ignoring the material world around us and focusing upon the task at hand. Eve was first, as usual, and because we were all holding hands, Charlotte and I felt her eagerly tugging us up to speed us along.
I opened my eyes, and beheld the dull and muted Physical Plane through my clairvoyance, everything outshined by the radiant forms of my coven mates. I noted that Genevieve had eschewed her normal skyclad form when astral projecting and instead wore a cloak like Charlotte and I.
“Are you worried this place might have a no shirt, no shoes, no souls, no service policy?” I teased her.
“I just don’t want to risk a confrontation over it. I realize how important this is,” she answered. “Though I’m not actually wearing shoes, now that you mention it.”
“Christ, look at the sigil Samantha drew!” Charlotte said, pointing down at the meditation circle beneath us. The sigil wasn’t just glowing but flowing as well, churning the Aether around it in a misty, spectral vortex. “It’s an astral portal, isn’t it?”
“Oh yeah. It’s not stable, though. Good for one trip only,” Genevieve said with a delighted smile. “And Lottie, since we’re Neopagan Witches, try not to swear by Christ, okay?”
“Jesus!” she swore, both in defiance and in genuine annoyance.
“Elam! Elam, come join the circle! I don’t want to take any chances of severing our bond,” I instructed, letting go of Charlotte’s hand and waving him in between us.
Faithful Familiar that he was, he obeyed without hesitation. Despite my concerns, I think that he probably could have stayed behind if he had wanted. The fact that he was willing to follow me to an unknown otherworld without complaint really made me appreciate how devoted he was to me.
“We step in together on the count of three, got it?” I instructed, each of them nodding clearly in response. “One. Two. Three!”
We all extended our right feet into the vortex together, and the instant we did we were swept away, falling out of our own world and tumbling between the cracks of countless others. They weren’t real, I don’t think. At least, not as real as our world. They were potential realities, or realities that could have been once but now can never be, or fantasies that are so persistent in the minds of real people that in some sense or another, they become real themselves. I only saw glimmers of them, glimmers in nebulas made of primeval chaos and uttermost void.
It was outside of time, that place we travelled through, or at least we had no sense of it there. Our souls were haphazardly spat out upon a surreal landscape of earth, sea, and fire. Hilly plains of volcanic ash, incandescent calderas of lava and bubbling hot springs all intermeshed in a chaotic mosaic that didn’t seem to abide by any laws of geology or geography that I was familiar with. A strong but slow wind pushed fractal formations of dark silver clouds through a pale silver sky, illuminated by a single white orb which could have been either a bright moon or a faint sun.
While our spectral feet left no trace upon the ash we now stood upon, our presence nonetheless elicited a response from some of the local fauna. We were just able to catch a glimpse of some kind of shimmering scarabs burrowing themselves into the ash to escape the four otherworldly ghosts that had invaded their territory.
“Holy shit,” Charlotte murmured as we all gazed out upon the strange world we had found ourselves on. “This really isn’t on the Astral Plane. This is a real planet. This a real, alien planet! This is unbelievable!”
Genevieve glided over to one of the bubbling pools and peered into it, looking for any more signs of life.
“There’s some kind of bluish-grey algae growing on the rocks down there, and I think I can make out some small arthropods too. This planet’s alive!” she announced with glee, smiling and looking up at the alien sky.
Conjuring an astral approximation of my staff, I plunged it into a small mound of ash beside me. I watched curiously as the scarabs shot out in all directions, moving too quickly for me to get a good look at them, before scurrying back into the surrounding ash.
“These bugs can sense our presence,” I remarked. “How and why would clairvoyance evolve in insects on this world, and why would their first instinct be to flee?”
“Samantha!” Elam called out. “I think I found the Flea Market.”
We all gathered around him and looked where he was pointing. On a distant dune, we beheld the moulted carapace of a colossal insect, gleaming a brilliant, lustrous gold in the broken white light.
“That’s impossible!” Charlotte claimed. “That thing must be hundreds of meters long! No insect, no animal period could ever get that big on the Physical Plane!”
“It could be the Incarnation of some kind of Titan,” Genevieve suggested. “But… it’s dead. I can tell that even from here. It’s dead. It’s the corpse of a dead god, and now it’s being used as a swap meet with a punny name. Either whatever killed it just abandoned it, or…”
“Or is running the place,” I finished for her. “Well, we should see if we can find Emrys.”
In an instant, the world moved around us until we were at the entrance to the Flea Market. The colossal carapace was hollow inside, of course, and had been filled with a bustling city that looked like it had been created in the most ad hoc manner possible. There wasn’t a single straight street to be seen, and they converged with one another at random intervals. Stalls and buildings varied wildly in both design and materials, all imported from a plethora of different cultures across the planes.
Enormous shards of luminous glass levitated above the throng like a thousand Swords of Damocles, any or all of them seeming capable of succumbing to gravity at any moment. In the very center of the moulted husk dangled a great spiralling chrysalis or hive woven of iridescent silk, its function not being immediately apparent to me.
There must have been thousands of people there, and hundreds of merchants hawking their wares. Most of those who looked human still seemed a little off, like they were members of ethnicities that didn’t exist in our world. Some of the beings were near-human in appearance, many seemingly some kind of Fey or Seelie folk. There was even a small handful of people that weren’t remotely human at all.
The only thing they all had in common was that none were native to this world.
“Most of these people are here in person, aren’t they?” Charlotte asked.
“It would’ve been quite a feat for them to have built all of this while astral projecting,” Genevieve agreed.
“But if this place isn’t connected to the Cuniculi, then how did they get here?” Charlotte asked. “We’re on another planet, maybe even in another dimension. If getting here is beyond the Ooo’s abilities, then what sort of ungodly reality benders decided to turn it into a Flea Market?”
“Ladies, gentlemen, and any beings either too ancient and alien or too modern and alienated to settle on one or the other, come bear witness to one of the most astounding and atrocious abominations on this or any other world!” a fast-paced male voice rang out over the din of the crowd.
We turned to see a short, skinny, old-timey sort of carnival barker standing on a literal soap box, placed next to a large object draped in a black tarp.
“For the paltry price of a single three-headed coin, you can peer beneath the veil and behold with your own unbelieving eyes the mangled and mutilated monstrosity that lurks beneath!” the carnival barker continued. “But I must warn you, it is not possible to truly understand what dwells underneath without seeing it first! I cannot guarantee that you will still retain your sanity or will to live after witnessing the proverbial Mountains of Madness, for this low creature is truly like no other and serves only as a grim testament to the cruel sadism of the Lord Above! Anyone plagued by even the faintest lingering doubt as to their spiritual fortitude should not dare to even contemplate what might lie before me! But, for those brave, noble few who are truly dauntless of heart and incorrigible of spirit, I am proud to share with you this rare, unfathomable, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to witness sublime –”
The carnival barker was interrupted by a man yanking the sheet off the object beside him, revealing it to be a mirror.
“Whelp, that was a hell of an Im14andthisisdeep post, eh?” Charlotte mused.
Genevieve and I, however, were far too stunned to be amused; not by the mirror, but by the man who had unveiled it.
“It’s him, Lottie. That’s Emrys,” Genevieve whispered.
We had only seen him briefly once before, more than two-and-a-half years ago, but he was far from what anyone would call forgettable. He was tall and gaunt, with literal blue blood flowing beneath translucent skin. His long, receding hair and regal beard were pitch black, and dark miasma wafted from his eyes, nose, and mouth. He was dressed in dark sable robes with three overlapping Ouroboros’s tattooed on his forehead, with a pair of ophidian pupils lying in the spaces between them.
What stood out the most to us were the six silver Ouroboros chains bound around his wrists, ankles, waist, and neck. These were the chains the Ophion Occult Order had made to limit the power of his physical avatar, and it seemed he had not yet found a way to free himself from them.
“Are you still here?” Emrys asked in exasperation, tossing the veil back at the carnival barker in disdain.
“…Possibly,” the strange man replied evasively. “But not definitively, for purely legalistic reasons.”
“I believe Mathom-meister was quite clear when he said that your rather pitiful chicanery wasn’t welcomed here,” Emrys reminded him.
“And who is he to judge chicanery from cutthroat, capitalistic competition? Should not the Flea Market be a free market?” the charlatan demanded. “And while we’re on the topic of commerce, I don’t suppose you have enough three-headed coins to pay for all the poor souls you have so discourteously exposed to my exhibit against their will? I’d hate to have to start shaking people down to get my due.”
“Hard to believe your own circus threw you out,” Emrys said with a sardonic eye roll as he tossed him a small medallion. “You get one coin. Take it and get out of my sight.”
The charlatan flipped the coin in the air thrice, presumably to confirm it actually had three heads. Satisfied with its impossible dimensions, he shoved it into his pocket.
“It will cover the trolley ride home, at least,” he acquiesced, stepping off his soap box and turning to face his looking glass. “A shame though you can’t see the genius in my little avant-garde performance piece here, Emmy. Even I know that the monster in the mirror is often the hardest to recognize.”
As the man reached to pick up his mirror, his reflection’s arms shot through the glass and grabbed him by the wrists, pulling him in. Emrys immediately tried to chase after him, but bounced off the glass as if there was nothing supernatural about it at all.
“Bastard!” he cursed under his breath, before turning towards us and giving us a small apologetic smile. “I’m sorry you had to see that rather pathetic display. Unfortunately, the few meeting places I know of that are relatively safe from any Ophionic incursion also attract their fair share of other annoying miscreants.”
“If it didn’t attract a little bit of everything, it wouldn’t be a Flea Market, would it?” I asked rhetorically. “Thank you, Emrys, for inviting us. I’ve never been anywhere like this before.”
“And thank you for accepting. Samantha, Genevieve, it’s a pleasure to see you again, and a relief that you have not fallen under the auspices of the Ophion Occult Order,” he said with a gentle bow. “Elam, I remember you as well. Valiant but not reckless, you remained atop Pendragon Hill during my battle with the Darlings until your mistress was well out of harm’s way, and then you got the hell out of dodge yourself. Samantha couldn’t hope for a better Familiar. And Charlotte, any Witch that Samantha deemed worthy to induct into her coven is obviously someone whose acquaintance I am pleased to make. Welcome, all of you, to Mathom-meister’s Flea Market!”
“So this is where you’ve been hiding out the past two years?” Genevieve asked.
“Oh no. Far too Cosmopolitan for my tastes,” Emrys replied. “No, this is just a friendly place to meet those I consider friends – or potential friends, at least. I’d offer to show you around, but I know it’s difficult for you to astral travel for prolonged periods. Come with me to Mathom-meister’s house where we can talk freely, and we’ll discuss the situation with the Order.”
I gave him a small, single nod in response, and gestured with my staff that he should lead the way. He responded by pointing upwards, then vanished into his shadow form. When we looked up, we saw him waving at us from a balcony atop the great silken chrysalis.
We exchanged hesitant glances with one another, but ultimately followed him into the strange structure, moving from the ground to the balcony in an instant by will alone.
“How would an incarnate being get up here if they couldn’t fly or teleport?” Charlotte asked as she peered over the balcony’s teetering edge.
As though answering a summons, a humanoid creature apparated beside her in a flash of dark vapours. The hunched-back entity stood over six-and-a-half feet tall, and was clad in golden-brown erudite robes. Its squid-like skin was of a similar colour, and its entire face was a single gaping orifice that held a wispy, glowing orb in the center of its skull which I immediately recognized as its soul. A pair of long, fanged tentacles lined with pores and tendrils hung down from its head like a long, forked beard, and the seven digits shared by its two hands all bore wicked-looking talons, as did its two-toed, digitigrade feet.
“Not fly or teleport? What sort of pedestrian house guests do you think I entertain here?” the being asked wryly, its voice seeming to come from nowhere in particular.
Charlotte instinctively backed away from the creature and into the protective fold of our coven, but Emrys was quick to hold up his hand to plead for calm.
“Please, there’s no need for alarm. This is our host, Mathom-meister. He’s the only reason any of this is here in the first place,” Emrys informed us. “A year or two ago a companion of his unfortunately became one of the Darling Twin’s victims, and when he heard of my vendetta with them, he tracked me down; which is no small feat, I assure you.”
“It is for us. My people are a race of Planeswalkers. Traversing the many worlds of Creation is second nature to us,” Mathom-meister explained.
“I’ve… I’ve heard of your people, I think,” I said, softly and unsurely. “A friend of mine had an encounter with an artifact that gave her a vision of a race of strange and powerful sorcerers slaying their own god. I take it you’re the ones who slayed this Scarab Titan as well? That’s, that’s…”
“Horrifying, yes. That’s the idea,” he nodded. “You have nothing to worry about, young Witch. My people have no special interest in your world. This is purely personal. My friend is dead, and I want his murderers brought to justice; a goal which Emrys and I happen to have in common.”
“Feel free to share this information with the Ophion Occult Order, Samantha,” Emrys said. “I’d very much like for the Darling Twins to know what’s hunting them. Mathom-meister, please excuse me while I take my guests inside. We do have pressing business to discuss and their time is limited.”
The squid-cyclopes bowed gracefully, and my coven and I quickly scurried after Emrys as he led us inside through a towering hallway and into a large chamber that had been appointed as a living space.
I had thought that Emrys would want to speak with us alone, which was why I was surprised to see a young woman sitting cross-legged on a spongey yet chitinous object that I will for the sake of my sanity call a bean bag chair. Like Emrys, she was pale and blue-blooded, her choppy hair as black as coal. She wore a black robe and heavy black eyeliner, but these could not conceal the fact that she too had thin wisps of miasma emanating from her eyes.
“Is that your… daughter?” Charlotte asked, as baffled by her presence as any of us. The woman smiled warmly at the question.
“In a way. I was dead, and Emrys gave me new life. Now a part of the Outer Primordial Darkness he represents lives in me too,” she said serenely.
Hovering above her left palm were three small bluish-green orbs, lazily going around in a circle. They were translucent and held something inside them that I couldn’t make out, but the orbs themselves appeared to be melting and solidifying by the woman’s will.
“You’re Petra, aren’t you?” I asked as I cautiously approached her. “Chamberlin had mentioned that Emrys had taken an acolyte. I’m Samantha, and this is Genevieve, Elam, and Charlotte.”
“I know. The whole reason we’re here is to speak with you,” she nodded.
“The Ophion Occult Order calls me a soul-flayer, and I’m sure you were all wondering exactly what that meant before you came here,” Emrys said, standing proudly behind his acolyte. “Well, this is it. The Darkness Beyond is now a part of her, and a part of her now lives within the Darkness Beyond. She is not unchanged from what she was before, but neither has what she was been lost.”
“My interpretation of the term ‘soul-flaying’ was the complete removal of a person’s consciousness from their astral and physical bodies to be subsumed by your Darkness,” I countered. “They told me that what you’ve done with Petra here is just the limit of your power while you’re bound in their chains. Are you telling me that if your chains were broken, you wouldn’t be able to do any worse than this?”
“On my physical avatar? No. So long as my astral form remains chained and bound with the World Serpent, I cannot cleave a conscious mind from its astral substrate,” Emrys assured me.
“But that is your ultimate goal, isn’t it? Breaking the chains the Ophion Occult Order put on you is just a stepping stone to breaking the ones the gods bound you with?” Genevieve asked. “You’ve allied yourself with a literal god slayer. Do you expect us to believe that his people’s abilities aren’t something you intend to put to your own ends?”
“I don’t have an ultimate goal so much as I have a fundamental principle of opposing tyranny,” he claimed. “When I was a mere man, thousands of years ago, I was a tyrant. I believed that might made right so unquestionably that when my might began to fail me, the only thing I could think to do was to try everything in my power to restore it. This quest eventually led to me becoming one with the Darkness Beyond, which gave me not only the might I coveted but the wisdom I didn’t know I needed. It gave me perspective. It made me stronger than any human alive at that point but still let me realize how insignificant I was. It was humbling, and enlightening, and filled me both with remorse over my past actions and an impetus to use my newfound gifts to rectify them. I tried to overthrow the gods themselves which, in hindsight, was overly ambitious. I not only failed but had my soul devoured by the World Serpent, where it still resides to this day.
“I am not eager to bring the wrath of the gods down upon me once again. No, for now, I will be content to end the tyranny of the Ophion Occult Order. This is the message I’d like you to relay to them. If the Grand Adderman agrees to unbind my chains and step down from his post, I will spare his life. If he declines, I want the rest of the Order to know that I will show mercy to any who sides with me over him. I am willing to allow the Order to exist so long as it agrees to become more decentralized, democratic, and accountable. They will have to forfeit certain artifacts and individuals in their possession over to me, chief among them the Darling Twins, but I am willing to negotiate. If they aren’t, then I will overthrow the Grand Adderman by whatever means necessary and see the Order scattered to the four winds. It is entirely up to them whether or not the conflict between us escalates to full-on war. Have I made myself clear, Samantha?”
“I think so,” I said as I pensively considered everything he had said. “Why should they trust you to keep your word once your chains are broken? For that matter, why should we?”
He took a moment to consider his response, eyeing me over as though he was trying to divine something that would win over my trust.
“Samantha, you made a pact with Persephone to get your Spirit Familiar there; one where she swore by the River Styx. Is that correct?” he asked.
“It is,” I nodded.
“And in the years since, has Persephone ever broken that pact she swore to?” he asked.
“No, she hasn’t,” I replied.
“I may not be an Old God, but so long as my astral form remains bound by their chains, they have power over me,” he said. “Samantha Sumner, Hedge Witch of Harrowick Woods, I swear on the River Styx that I have spoken no lies to you today. I swear by the River Styx that I will abide by any Covenant that I and the Ophion Occult Order agree to in good faith and fair dealing that they do not break first. I swear by the River Styx that when my chains are broken, I will give you no cause to fear me or regret your trust in me.”
I gave a questioning glance to Genevieve, and then Elam, both of whom nodded in the affirmative.
“All right. An oath sworn on the River Styx is good enough for me. I’ll deliver your terms to Seneca Chamberlin,” I agreed. “I’m very grateful for the trust and respect you’ve shown for me and my coven, Emrys, though I can’t say I quite understand it. Out of all the guests that were there on the Hallow’s Eve you were summoned, why did Evie and I stand out to you?”
“The Ophion Occult Order deemed you worthy of inclusion in their cult, an offer you rejected on principle. You cheated Persephone, but you did it not to gain immortality for yourself but to save your friend from hell. You came here, thinking I could very well tear your souls asunder, but did so because you believed it was your duty to prevent needless suffering,” Emrys answered. “You are extraordinary in your craft, courage, and conscience, the latter of which especially stood out among the degenerates at that party. I do apologize if I frightened you at that event. I was a bit… irritable, given the circumstances. I’m glad we were able to meet again under more pleasant conditions.”
“So am I, Emrys,” I nodded. “I’m not sure exactly what this means or how relevant it is, but Seneca wanted me to tell you that he’s able to offer you the Dream Demon Red Ruck as a sacrifice.”
“Pffft. Tell him it’s hardly a sacrifice if I’m getting rid of a boogie man for him,” he scoffed. “In fact, now that you mention it, Ruck’s one egregore that might be of more use to me alive.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but we were suddenly interrupted by the rapid pounding of a gong somewhere down below. It seemed to be an alarm of some kind, as we could hear the panicked shouting and frantic racing of people either battening down or forsaking the Flea Market altogether.
Mathom-meister apparated into the middle of the room, his facial tentacles reflexively raised in a defensive position.
“Were you outside the market?” he demanded of us.
“The portal we came through deposited us a few miles outside of the market, yes,” I admitted.
“Damn,” Emrys cursed softly, though he sounded more frustrated than angry. “Meister, it’s not their fault. I knew they weren’t experienced Planeswalkers, I could have – ”
“It doesn’t matter!” Mathom-meister interjected. “They need to leave, now!”
“Why, what’s going on?” Genevieve demanded.
“The scarabs are swarming,” Petra explained. “Don’t feel bad; it happens often enough that they’re prepared for it.”
I wanted to press for more details, but I could hear the humming of a vast winged swarm steadily encroaching upon us.
“Don’t worry. Once you leave the swarm will disperse… eventually,” Emrys told us. “We’ve said all that need be said for now. Return home, and I’ll reach out to you again shortly, Samantha.”
Again, I wanted to object, but the swarm outside was growing louder and louder, and it occurred to me that we might not be completely safe from a biblical swarm of insects that could not only sense but evidently sought out souls.
This occurred to Charlotte as well, as she was the first of us to vanish and awaken back in her body. We could all feel the weight of her reembodied soul tugging on us to return with her. Genevieve immediately grabbed hold of my right hand and Elam my left, both of them refusing to leave before I did.
I spared one final glance at Emrys, lamenting that we couldn’t have had more time.
“I’ll relay everything you said to the Order. I’ll make sure they know you’re willing to negotiate a truce,” I vowed.
He gave me a gracious nod, and just as we heard the swarm start to pelt the exterior of the market, I forced my physical eyes open and was back in my body, still safely under a willow tree in my cemetery.
I immediately looked beside me to Genevieve, and saw that she was awake as well, and then around me for Elam, who seemed to be suffering a bit of spectral whiplash from being pulled back with me so suddenly, but was otherwise all right. Sighing with relief, I turned lastly to Charlotte, and saw that she was looking down at the mediation circle in dreaded horror.
Following her gaze, I saw that the Undying Rose was gone – spent, perhaps, in exchange for our passage – and in its place was the inert, and hopefully dead, body of one of the shimmering scarabs.

“I’m sorry; we’re going to astral travel to a flea market?” Charlotte asked incredulously as she watched Genevieve and I set up a meditation circle under the shade of a towering old willow tree in my cemetery. “What if we want to buy something? How will we bring it back?”
“We’re not going there to shop, Lottie. Samantha’s finally had a vision about Emrys,” Genevieve explained.
The Veil between the Physical and Astral Planes is exceptionally weak in my cemetery, especially at night and on hallowed days. When I sleep there, my subconscious mind is highly receptive to all manner of revelations from the Spirit World. When I saw a Blood Moon rise on the night of May fifth, the same night as a penumbral eclipse, I knew that my dreams would be prophetic.
“I had a dream about him last Friday,” I expounded. “He’s at some sort of otherworldly marketplace, one that’s not connected to the Crypto Chthonic Cuniculi, so it’s mostly inaccessible to the Ophion Occult Order. In my dream, Emrys invited us to come and speak with him while we were lucid. He drew a sigil for me, the same one I’ve drawn in the middle of the mediation circle. He said that all I’d have to do is toss an Undying Rose – the earthly effigy of the rose Persephone used to steal a drop of his blood – into the sigil and it will become an astral portal to where he is.”
I held up the deep purple rose that I had cut from its bush earlier that day. I don’t know for certain where the roses came from, but my best guess is that they were made by the same Occultist who hallowed my cemetery to Persephone; Artaxerxes Crow. They have some connection to Emrys as well, since the only other time I saw someone else use one was when his avatar was summoned into the Physical Plane on Halloween 2020.
Knowing that Emrys wouldn’t dare to set foot in a place that was sacred to the Goddess who was ultimately responsible for his cosmic defeat, I gently tossed the rose into the middle of the sigil.
“He invited all of us?” Charlotte asked with an incredulous raising of her eyebrow.
“He said me and my coven. If he had just meant me or me and Genevieve he would have said that,” I replied. “You and Elam are coming too. I want as many eyes on this place as possible so that we don’t miss anything. We may not get an opportunity like this again.”
“And this is safe? Visiting some random flea market between worlds?” Charlotte asked.
“Samantha and I have visited the Underworld and come back no problem,” Genevieve reminded her. “So long as we’re bound to our bodies and Elam is bound to Samantha, we can come back anytime. Don’t worry; this is going to be a blast! Adventures like these are the best part of being a Witch.”
“The only reason you were able to go to the Underworld is because Samantha’s cemetery came with an astral portal in the back,” Charlotte countered, gesticulating in the general direction of the archway that was still partially visible behind the light spring foliage. “Other than that, when have any of us ever done anything useful with our astral projection? This is still a physical place, right? We don’t have any of our physical senses available to us when we astral project, and I get extremely disoriented trying to navigate the mortal plane with clairvoyance alone.”
“It is a physical place, but one saturated with astral energy and full of occultists and occult artifacts. It will be extremely illuminated to our clairvoyance,” I assured her. “Elam will also be there to guide us. As a ghost, he’s much more practiced at traversing the mortal plane in an astral form.”
Charlotte folded her arms over her chest and turned to look at Elam, who was leaning up against the willow tree as he waited for us.
“I don’t suppose you could go and scout the place out for us ahead of time?” she asked.
“I can’t go too far from Samantha, and definitely not across planes,” he said with a shake of his head. “But Eve’s right. Your astral bodies will be in no danger, and you can return here in an instant whenever you want.”
“But what about Emrys? Didn’t that book Leon gave you say that he’s some sort of soul-flayer?” Charlotte asked me.
“It did,” I admitted. “Keep in mind though, that book was written by his enemies. I want to hear his side of things before this conflict of theirs spirals out of control.”
“Any update from Chamberlin about that?” Elam asked.
“Yeah, he said that after he failed to purify the Sigil Sand, Ivy’s onboard with negotiating some kind of truce with Emrys,” I replied. “The Grand Adderman’s still reticent, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s running out of options. I need to find out if Emrys will agree to peace talks.”
“Um, I get that, but I’m still kind of hung up on him potentially flaying our souls,” Charlotte reiterated.
“If Emrys and the Ophion Occult Order go to all-out war, there’ll be a lot of collateral damage and innocent souls caught in the crossfire,” Genevieve told her, gently grabbing hold of her and looking her straight in the eye. “Samantha, Elam, and I are doing this because if there’s any chance we can put an end to this before it starts, then it’s our responsibility to try. You don’t have to come with us, Lottie, but you’re still a member of our coven. Samantha and I would both feel a lot better with you there to help us.”
“Arghhh! All right, fine! I’ll come with you,” Charlotte gave in, plopping her butt down on the edge of the meditation circle. “If we’re holding hands, that will help keep our astral bodies together too, right?”
“I believe it should, yes,” I smiled at her, sitting down and reaching out for her hand.
Genevieve lit the incense and her bong filled with the entheogenic Delphi Dream, before sitting down to join us. She took a hit from the bong before passing it to me, and then to Charlotte before setting it aside out of the circle.
“Start with taking a deep breath, completely filling the lungs, and holding it for five heartbeats,” she guided us as she took hold of each of our hands. “Exhale completely, and wait five more heartbeats before breathing in again. Eyes closed, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Focus on the astral energies flowing through you with each breath, gently aligning each chakra until those energies are enough to lift you up and out of your body.”
In unison with one another, the three of us slowly breathed in and out, ignoring the material world around us and focusing upon the task at hand. Eve was first, as usual, and because we were all holding hands, Charlotte and I felt her eagerly tugging us up to speed us along.
I opened my eyes, and beheld the dull and muted Physical Plane through my clairvoyance, everything outshined by the radiant forms of my coven mates. I noted that Genevieve had eschewed her normal skyclad form when astral projecting and instead wore a cloak like Charlotte and I.
“Are you worried this place might have a no shirt, no shoes, no souls, no service policy?” I teased her.
“I just don’t want to risk a confrontation over it. I realize how important this is,” she answered. “Though I’m not actually wearing shoes, now that you mention it.”
“Christ, look at the sigil Samantha drew!” Charlotte said, pointing down at the meditation circle beneath us. The sigil wasn’t just glowing but flowing as well, churning the Aether around it in a misty, spectral vortex. “It’s an astral portal, isn’t it?”
“Oh yeah. It’s not stable, though. Good for one trip only,” Genevieve said with a delighted smile. “And Lottie, since we’re Neopagan Witches, try not to swear by Christ, okay?”
“Jesus!” she swore, both in defiance and in genuine annoyance.
“Elam! Elam, come join the circle! I don’t want to take any chances of severing our bond,” I instructed, letting go of Charlotte’s hand and waving him in between us.
Faithful Familiar that he was, he obeyed without hesitation. Despite my concerns, I think that he probably could have stayed behind if he had wanted. The fact that he was willing to follow me to an unknown otherworld without complaint really made me appreciate how devoted he was to me.
“We step in together on the count of three, got it?” I instructed, each of them nodding clearly in response. “One. Two. Three!”
We all extended our right feet into the vortex together, and the instant we did we were swept away, falling out of our own world and tumbling between the cracks of countless others. They weren’t real, I don’t think. At least, not as real as our world. They were potential realities, or realities that could have been once but now can never be, or fantasies that are so persistent in the minds of real people that in some sense or another, they become real themselves. I only saw glimmers of them, glimmers in nebulas made of primeval chaos and uttermost void.
It was outside of time, that place we travelled through, or at least we had no sense of it there. Our souls were haphazardly spat out upon a surreal landscape of earth, sea, and fire. Hilly plains of volcanic ash, incandescent calderas of lava and bubbling hot springs all intermeshed in a chaotic mosaic that didn’t seem to abide by any laws of geology or geography that I was familiar with. A strong but slow wind pushed fractal formations of dark silver clouds through a pale silver sky, illuminated by a single white orb which could have been either a bright moon or a faint sun.
While our spectral feet left no trace upon the ash we now stood upon, our presence nonetheless elicited a response from some of the local fauna. We were just able to catch a glimpse of some kind of shimmering scarabs burrowing themselves into the ash to escape the four otherworldly ghosts that had invaded their territory.
“Holy shit,” Charlotte murmured as we all gazed out upon the strange world we had found ourselves on. “This really isn’t on the Astral Plane. This is a real planet. This a real, alien planet! This is unbelievable!”
Genevieve glided over to one of the bubbling pools and peered into it, looking for any more signs of life.
“There’s some kind of bluish-grey algae growing on the rocks down there, and I think I can make out some small arthropods too. This planet’s alive!” she announced with glee, smiling and looking up at the alien sky.
Conjuring an astral approximation of my staff, I plunged it into a small mound of ash beside me. I watched curiously as the scarabs shot out in all directions, moving too quickly for me to get a good look at them, before scurrying back into the surrounding ash.
“These bugs can sense our presence,” I remarked. “How and why would clairvoyance evolve in insects on this world, and why would their first instinct be to flee?”
“Samantha!” Elam called out. “I think I found the Flea Market.”
We all gathered around him and looked where he was pointing. On a distant dune, we beheld the moulted carapace of a colossal insect, gleaming a brilliant, lustrous gold in the broken white light.
“That’s impossible!” Charlotte claimed. “That thing must be hundreds of meters long! No insect, no animal period could ever get that big on the Physical Plane!”
“It could be the Incarnation of some kind of Titan,” Genevieve suggested. “But… it’s dead. I can tell that even from here. It’s dead. It’s the corpse of a dead god, and now it’s being used as a swap meet with a punny name. Either whatever killed it just abandoned it, or…”
“Or is running the place,” I finished for her. “Well, we should see if we can find Emrys.”
In an instant, the world moved around us until we were at the entrance to the Flea Market. The colossal carapace was hollow inside, of course, and had been filled with a bustling city that looked like it had been created in the most ad hoc manner possible. There wasn’t a single straight street to be seen, and they converged with one another at random intervals. Stalls and buildings varied wildly in both design and materials, all imported from a plethora of different cultures across the planes.
Enormous shards of luminous glass levitated above the throng like a thousand Swords of Damocles, any or all of them seeming capable of succumbing to gravity at any moment. In the very center of the moulted husk dangled a great spiralling chrysalis or hive woven of iridescent silk, its function not being immediately apparent to me.
There must have been thousands of people there, and hundreds of merchants hawking their wares. Most of those who looked human still seemed a little off, like they were members of ethnicities that didn’t exist in our world. Some of the beings were near-human in appearance, many seemingly some kind of Fey or Seelie folk. There was even a small handful of people that weren’t remotely human at all.
The only thing they all had in common was that none were native to this world.
“Most of these people are here in person, aren’t they?” Charlotte asked.
“It would’ve been quite a feat for them to have built all of this while astral projecting,” Genevieve agreed.
“But if this place isn’t connected to the Cuniculi, then how did they get here?” Charlotte asked. “We’re on another planet, maybe even in another dimension. If getting here is beyond the Ooo’s abilities, then what sort of ungodly reality benders decided to turn it into a Flea Market?”
“Ladies, gentlemen, and any beings either too ancient and alien or too modern and alienated to settle on one or the other, come bear witness to one of the most astounding and atrocious abominations on this or any other world!” a fast-paced male voice rang out over the din of the crowd.
We turned to see a short, skinny, old-timey sort of carnival barker standing on a literal soap box, placed next to a large object draped in a black tarp.
“For the paltry price of a single three-headed coin, you can peer beneath the veil and behold with your own unbelieving eyes the mangled and mutilated monstrosity that lurks beneath!” the carnival barker continued. “But I must warn you, it is not possible to truly understand what dwells underneath without seeing it first! I cannot guarantee that you will still retain your sanity or will to live after witnessing the proverbial Mountains of Madness, for this low creature is truly like no other and serves only as a grim testament to the cruel sadism of the Lord Above! Anyone plagued by even the faintest lingering doubt as to their spiritual fortitude should not dare to even contemplate what might lie before me! But, for those brave, noble few who are truly dauntless of heart and incorrigible of spirit, I am proud to share with you this rare, unfathomable, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to witness sublime –”
The carnival barker was interrupted by a man yanking the sheet off the object beside him, revealing it to be a mirror.
“Whelp, that was a hell of an Im14andthisisdeep post, eh?” Charlotte mused.
Genevieve and I, however, were far too stunned to be amused; not by the mirror, but by the man who had unveiled it.
“It’s him, Lottie. That’s Emrys,” Genevieve whispered.
We had only seen him briefly once before, more than two-and-a-half years ago, but he was far from what anyone would call forgettable. He was tall and gaunt, with literal blue blood flowing beneath translucent skin. His long, receding hair and regal beard were pitch black, and dark miasma wafted from his eyes, nose, and mouth. He was dressed in dark sable robes with three overlapping Ouroboros’s tattooed on his forehead, with a pair of ophidian pupils lying in the spaces between them.
What stood out the most to us were the six silver Ouroboros chains bound around his wrists, ankles, waist, and neck. These were the chains the Ophion Occult Order had made to limit the power of his physical avatar, and it seemed he had not yet found a way to free himself from them.
“Are you still here?” Emrys asked in exasperation, tossing the veil back at the carnival barker in disdain.
“…Possibly,” the strange man replied evasively. “But not definitively, for purely legalistic reasons.”
“I believe Mathom-meister was quite clear when he said that your rather pitiful chicanery wasn’t welcomed here,” Emrys reminded him.
“And who is he to judge chicanery from cutthroat, capitalistic competition? Should not the Flea Market be a free market?” the charlatan demanded. “And while we’re on the topic of commerce, I don’t suppose you have enough three-headed coins to pay for all the poor souls you have so discourteously exposed to my exhibit against their will? I’d hate to have to start shaking people down to get my due.”
“Hard to believe your own circus threw you out,” Emrys said with a sardonic eye roll as he tossed him a small medallion. “You get one coin. Take it and get out of my sight.”
The charlatan flipped the coin in the air thrice, presumably to confirm it actually had three heads. Satisfied with its impossible dimensions, he shoved it into his pocket.
“It will cover the trolley ride home, at least,” he acquiesced, stepping off his soap box and turning to face his looking glass. “A shame though you can’t see the genius in my little avant-garde performance piece here, Emmy. Even I know that the monster in the mirror is often the hardest to recognize.”
As the man reached to pick up his mirror, his reflection’s arms shot through the glass and grabbed him by the wrists, pulling him in. Emrys immediately tried to chase after him, but bounced off the glass as if there was nothing supernatural about it at all.
“Bastard!” he cursed under his breath, before turning towards us and giving us a small apologetic smile. “I’m sorry you had to see that rather pathetic display. Unfortunately, the few meeting places I know of that are relatively safe from any Ophionic incursion also attract their fair share of other annoying miscreants.”
“If it didn’t attract a little bit of everything, it wouldn’t be a Flea Market, would it?” I asked rhetorically. “Thank you, Emrys, for inviting us. I’ve never been anywhere like this before.”
“And thank you for accepting. Samantha, Genevieve, it’s a pleasure to see you again, and a relief that you have not fallen under the auspices of the Ophion Occult Order,” he said with a gentle bow. “Elam, I remember you as well. Valiant but not reckless, you remained atop Pendragon Hill during my battle with the Darlings until your mistress was well out of harm’s way, and then you got the hell out of dodge yourself. Samantha couldn’t hope for a better Familiar. And Charlotte, any Witch that Samantha deemed worthy to induct into her coven is obviously someone whose acquaintance I am pleased to make. Welcome, all of you, to Mathom-meister’s Flea Market!”
“So this is where you’ve been hiding out the past two years?” Genevieve asked.
“Oh no. Far too Cosmopolitan for my tastes,” Emrys replied. “No, this is just a friendly place to meet those I consider friends – or potential friends, at least. I’d offer to show you around, but I know it’s difficult for you to astral travel for prolonged periods. Come with me to Mathom-meister’s house where we can talk freely, and we’ll discuss the situation with the Order.”
I gave him a small, single nod in response, and gestured with my staff that he should lead the way. He responded by pointing upwards, then vanished into his shadow form. When we looked up, we saw him waving at us from a balcony atop the great silken chrysalis.
We exchanged hesitant glances with one another, but ultimately followed him into the strange structure, moving from the ground to the balcony in an instant by will alone.
“How would an incarnate being get up here if they couldn’t fly or teleport?” Charlotte asked as she peered over the balcony’s teetering edge.
As though answering a summons, a humanoid creature apparated beside her in a flash of dark vapours. The hunched-back entity stood over six-and-a-half feet tall, and was clad in golden-brown erudite robes. Its squid-like skin was of a similar colour, and its entire face was a single gaping orifice that held a wispy, glowing orb in the center of its skull which I immediately recognized as its soul. A pair of long, fanged tentacles lined with pores and tendrils hung down from its head like a long, forked beard, and the seven digits shared by its two hands all bore wicked-looking talons, as did its two-toed, digitigrade feet.
“Not fly or teleport? What sort of pedestrian house guests do you think I entertain here?” the being asked wryly, its voice seeming to come from nowhere in particular.
Charlotte instinctively backed away from the creature and into the protective fold of our coven, but Emrys was quick to hold up his hand to plead for calm.
“Please, there’s no need for alarm. This is our host, Mathom-meister. He’s the only reason any of this is here in the first place,” Emrys informed us. “A year or two ago a companion of his unfortunately became one of the Darling Twin’s victims, and when he heard of my vendetta with them, he tracked me down; which is no small feat, I assure you.”
“It is for us. My people are a race of Planeswalkers. Traversing the many worlds of Creation is second nature to us,” Mathom-meister explained.
“I’ve… I’ve heard of your people, I think,” I said, softly and unsurely. “A friend of mine had an encounter with an artifact that gave her a vision of a race of strange and powerful sorcerers slaying their own god. I take it you’re the ones who slayed this Scarab Titan as well? That’s, that’s…”
“Horrifying, yes. That’s the idea,” he nodded. “You have nothing to worry about, young Witch. My people have no special interest in your world. This is purely personal. My friend is dead, and I want his murderers brought to justice; a goal which Emrys and I happen to have in common.”
“Feel free to share this information with the Ophion Occult Order, Samantha,” Emrys said. “I’d very much like for the Darling Twins to know what’s hunting them. Mathom-meister, please excuse me while I take my guests inside. We do have pressing business to discuss and their time is limited.”
The squid-cyclopes bowed gracefully, and my coven and I quickly scurried after Emrys as he led us inside through a towering hallway and into a large chamber that had been appointed as a living space.
I had thought that Emrys would want to speak with us alone, which was why I was surprised to see a young woman sitting cross-legged on a spongey yet chitinous object that I will for the sake of my sanity call a bean bag chair. Like Emrys, she was pale and blue-blooded, her choppy hair as black as coal. She wore a black robe and heavy black eyeliner, but these could not conceal the fact that she too had thin wisps of miasma emanating from her eyes.
“Is that your… daughter?” Charlotte asked, as baffled by her presence as any of us. The woman smiled warmly at the question.
“In a way. I was dead, and Emrys gave me new life. Now a part of the Outer Primordial Darkness he represents lives in me too,” she said serenely.
Hovering above her left palm were three small bluish-green orbs, lazily going around in a circle. They were translucent and held something inside them that I couldn’t make out, but the orbs themselves appeared to be melting and solidifying by the woman’s will.
“You’re Petra, aren’t you?” I asked as I cautiously approached her. “Chamberlin had mentioned that Emrys had taken an acolyte. I’m Samantha, and this is Genevieve, Elam, and Charlotte.”
“I know. The whole reason we’re here is to speak with you,” she nodded.
“The Ophion Occult Order calls me a soul-flayer, and I’m sure you were all wondering exactly what that meant before you came here,” Emrys said, standing proudly behind his acolyte. “Well, this is it. The Darkness Beyond is now a part of her, and a part of her now lives within the Darkness Beyond. She is not unchanged from what she was before, but neither has what she was been lost.”
“My interpretation of the term ‘soul-flaying’ was the complete removal of a person’s consciousness from their astral and physical bodies to be subsumed by your Darkness,” I countered. “They told me that what you’ve done with Petra here is just the limit of your power while you’re bound in their chains. Are you telling me that if your chains were broken, you wouldn’t be able to do any worse than this?”
“On my physical avatar? No. So long as my astral form remains chained and bound with the World Serpent, I cannot cleave a conscious mind from its astral substrate,” Emrys assured me.
“But that is your ultimate goal, isn’t it? Breaking the chains the Ophion Occult Order put on you is just a stepping stone to breaking the ones the gods bound you with?” Genevieve asked. “You’ve allied yourself with a literal god slayer. Do you expect us to believe that his people’s abilities aren’t something you intend to put to your own ends?”
“I don’t have an ultimate goal so much as I have a fundamental principle of opposing tyranny,” he claimed. “When I was a mere man, thousands of years ago, I was a tyrant. I believed that might made right so unquestionably that when my might began to fail me, the only thing I could think to do was to try everything in my power to restore it. This quest eventually led to me becoming one with the Darkness Beyond, which gave me not only the might I coveted but the wisdom I didn’t know I needed. It gave me perspective. It made me stronger than any human alive at that point but still let me realize how insignificant I was. It was humbling, and enlightening, and filled me both with remorse over my past actions and an impetus to use my newfound gifts to rectify them. I tried to overthrow the gods themselves which, in hindsight, was overly ambitious. I not only failed but had my soul devoured by the World Serpent, where it still resides to this day.
“I am not eager to bring the wrath of the gods down upon me once again. No, for now, I will be content to end the tyranny of the Ophion Occult Order. This is the message I’d like you to relay to them. If the Grand Adderman agrees to unbind my chains and step down from his post, I will spare his life. If he declines, I want the rest of the Order to know that I will show mercy to any who sides with me over him. I am willing to allow the Order to exist so long as it agrees to become more decentralized, democratic, and accountable. They will have to forfeit certain artifacts and individuals in their possession over to me, chief among them the Darling Twins, but I am willing to negotiate. If they aren’t, then I will overthrow the Grand Adderman by whatever means necessary and see the Order scattered to the four winds. It is entirely up to them whether or not the conflict between us escalates to full-on war. Have I made myself clear, Samantha?”
“I think so,” I said as I pensively considered everything he had said. “Why should they trust you to keep your word once your chains are broken? For that matter, why should we?”
He took a moment to consider his response, eyeing me over as though he was trying to divine something that would win over my trust.
“Samantha, you made a pact with Persephone to get your Spirit Familiar there; one where she swore by the River Styx. Is that correct?” he asked.
“It is,” I nodded.
“And in the years since, has Persephone ever broken that pact she swore to?” he asked.
“No, she hasn’t,” I replied.
“I may not be an Old God, but so long as my astral form remains bound by their chains, they have power over me,” he said. “Samantha Sumner, Hedge Witch of Harrowick Woods, I swear on the River Styx that I have spoken no lies to you today. I swear by the River Styx that I will abide by any Covenant that I and the Ophion Occult Order agree to in good faith and fair dealing that they do not break first. I swear by the River Styx that when my chains are broken, I will give you no cause to fear me or regret your trust in me.”
I gave a questioning glance to Genevieve, and then Elam, both of whom nodded in the affirmative.
“All right. An oath sworn on the River Styx is good enough for me. I’ll deliver your terms to Seneca Chamberlin,” I agreed. “I’m very grateful for the trust and respect you’ve shown for me and my coven, Emrys, though I can’t say I quite understand it. Out of all the guests that were there on the Hallow’s Eve you were summoned, why did Evie and I stand out to you?”
“The Ophion Occult Order deemed you worthy of inclusion in their cult, an offer you rejected on principle. You cheated Persephone, but you did it not to gain immortality for yourself but to save your friend from hell. You came here, thinking I could very well tear your souls asunder, but did so because you believed it was your duty to prevent needless suffering,” Emrys answered. “You are extraordinary in your craft, courage, and conscience, the latter of which especially stood out among the degenerates at that party. I do apologize if I frightened you at that event. I was a bit… irritable, given the circumstances. I’m glad we were able to meet again under more pleasant conditions.”
“So am I, Emrys,” I nodded. “I’m not sure exactly what this means or how relevant it is, but Seneca wanted me to tell you that he’s able to offer you the Dream Demon Red Ruck as a sacrifice.”
“Pffft. Tell him it’s hardly a sacrifice if I’m getting rid of a boogie man for him,” he scoffed. “In fact, now that you mention it, Ruck’s one egregore that might be of more use to me alive.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but we were suddenly interrupted by the rapid pounding of a gong somewhere down below. It seemed to be an alarm of some kind, as we could hear the panicked shouting and frantic racing of people either battening down or forsaking the Flea Market altogether.
Mathom-meister apparated into the middle of the room, his facial tentacles reflexively raised in a defensive position.
“Were you outside the market?” he demanded of us.
“The portal we came through deposited us a few miles outside of the market, yes,” I admitted.
“Damn,” Emrys cursed softly, though he sounded more frustrated than angry. “Meister, it’s not their fault. I knew they weren’t experienced Planeswalkers, I could have – ”
“It doesn’t matter!” Mathom-meister interjected. “They need to leave, now!”
“Why, what’s going on?” Genevieve demanded.
“The scarabs are swarming,” Petra explained. “Don’t feel bad; it happens often enough that they’re prepared for it.”
I wanted to press for more details, but I could hear the humming of a vast winged swarm steadily encroaching upon us.
“Don’t worry. Once you leave the swarm will disperse… eventually,” Emrys told us. “We’ve said all that need be said for now. Return home, and I’ll reach out to you again shortly, Samantha.”
Again, I wanted to object, but the swarm outside was growing louder and louder, and it occurred to me that we might not be completely safe from a biblical swarm of insects that could not only sense but evidently sought out souls.
This occurred to Charlotte as well, as she was the first of us to vanish and awaken back in her body. We could all feel the weight of her reembodied soul tugging on us to return with her. Genevieve immediately grabbed hold of my right hand and Elam my left, both of them refusing to leave before I did.
I spared one final glance at Emrys, lamenting that we couldn’t have had more time.
“I’ll relay everything you said to the Order. I’ll make sure they know you’re willing to negotiate a truce,” I vowed.
He gave me a gracious nod, and just as we heard the swarm start to pelt the exterior of the market, I forced my physical eyes open and was back in my body, still safely under a willow tree in my cemetery.
I immediately looked beside me to Genevieve, and saw that she was awake as well, and then around me for Elam, who seemed to be suffering a bit of spectral whiplash from being pulled back with me so suddenly, but was otherwise all right. Sighing with relief, I turned lastly to Charlotte, and saw that she was looking down at the mediation circle in dreaded horror.
Following her gaze, I saw that the Undying Rose was gone – spent, perhaps, in exchange for our passage – and in its place was the inert, and hopefully dead, body of one of the shimmering scarabs.

“I’m sorry; we’re going to astral travel to a flea market?” Charlotte asked incredulously as she watched Genevieve and I set up a meditation circle under the shade of a towering old willow tree in my cemetery. “What if we want to buy something? How will we bring it back?”
“We’re not going there to shop, Lottie. Samantha’s finally had a vision about Emrys,” Genevieve explained.
The Veil between the Physical and Astral Planes is exceptionally weak in my cemetery, especially at night and on hallowed days. When I sleep there, my subconscious mind is highly receptive to all manner of revelations from the Spirit World. When I saw a Blood Moon rise on the night of May fifth, the same night as a penumbral eclipse, I knew that my dreams would be prophetic.
“I had a dream about him last Friday,” I expounded. “He’s at some sort of otherworldly marketplace, one that’s not connected to the Crypto Chthonic Cuniculi, so it’s mostly inaccessible to the Ophion Occult Order. In my dream, Emrys invited us to come and speak with him while we were lucid. He drew a sigil for me, the same one I’ve drawn in the middle of the mediation circle. He said that all I’d have to do is toss an Undying Rose – the earthly effigy of the rose Persephone used to steal a drop of his blood – into the sigil and it will become an astral portal to where he is.”
I held up the deep purple rose that I had cut from its bush earlier that day. I don’t know for certain where the roses came from, but my best guess is that they were made by the same Occultist who hallowed my cemetery to Persephone; Artaxerxes Crow. They have some connection to Emrys as well, since the only other time I saw someone else use one was when his avatar was summoned into the Physical Plane on Halloween 2020.
Knowing that Emrys wouldn’t dare to set foot in a place that was sacred to the Goddess who was ultimately responsible for his cosmic defeat, I gently tossed the rose into the middle of the sigil.
“He invited all of us?” Charlotte asked with an incredulous raising of her eyebrow.
“He said me and my coven. If he had just meant me or me and Genevieve he would have said that,” I replied. “You and Elam are coming too. I want as many eyes on this place as possible so that we don’t miss anything. We may not get an opportunity like this again.”
“And this is safe? Visiting some random flea market between worlds?” Charlotte asked.
“Samantha and I have visited the Underworld and come back no problem,” Genevieve reminded her. “So long as we’re bound to our bodies and Elam is bound to Samantha, we can come back anytime. Don’t worry; this is going to be a blast! Adventures like these are the best part of being a Witch.”
“The only reason you were able to go to the Underworld is because Samantha’s cemetery came with an astral portal in the back,” Charlotte countered, gesticulating in the general direction of the archway that was still partially visible behind the light spring foliage. “Other than that, when have any of us ever done anything useful with our astral projection? This is still a physical place, right? We don’t have any of our physical senses available to us when we astral project, and I get extremely disoriented trying to navigate the mortal plane with clairvoyance alone.”
“It is a physical place, but one saturated with astral energy and full of occultists and occult artifacts. It will be extremely illuminated to our clairvoyance,” I assured her. “Elam will also be there to guide us. As a ghost, he’s much more practiced at traversing the mortal plane in an astral form.”
Charlotte folded her arms over her chest and turned to look at Elam, who was leaning up against the willow tree as he waited for us.
“I don’t suppose you could go and scout the place out for us ahead of time?” she asked.
“I can’t go too far from Samantha, and definitely not across planes,” he said with a shake of his head. “But Eve’s right. Your astral bodies will be in no danger, and you can return here in an instant whenever you want.”
“But what about Emrys? Didn’t that book Leon gave you say that he’s some sort of soul-flayer?” Charlotte asked me.
“It did,” I admitted. “Keep in mind though, that book was written by his enemies. I want to hear his side of things before this conflict of theirs spirals out of control.”
“Any update from Chamberlin about that?” Elam asked.
“Yeah, he said that after he failed to purify the Sigil Sand, Ivy’s onboard with negotiating some kind of truce with Emrys,” I replied. “The Grand Adderman’s still reticent, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s running out of options. I need to find out if Emrys will agree to peace talks.”
“Um, I get that, but I’m still kind of hung up on him potentially flaying our souls,” Charlotte reiterated.
“If Emrys and the Ophion Occult Order go to all-out war, there’ll be a lot of collateral damage and innocent souls caught in the crossfire,” Genevieve told her, gently grabbing hold of her and looking her straight in the eye. “Samantha, Elam, and I are doing this because if there’s any chance we can put an end to this before it starts, then it’s our responsibility to try. You don’t have to come with us, Lottie, but you’re still a member of our coven. Samantha and I would both feel a lot better with you there to help us.”
“Arghhh! All right, fine! I’ll come with you,” Charlotte gave in, plopping her butt down on the edge of the meditation circle. “If we’re holding hands, that will help keep our astral bodies together too, right?”
“I believe it should, yes,” I smiled at her, sitting down and reaching out for her hand.
Genevieve lit the incense and her bong filled with the entheogenic Delphi Dream, before sitting down to join us. She took a hit from the bong before passing it to me, and then to Charlotte before setting it aside out of the circle.
“Start with taking a deep breath, completely filling the lungs, and holding it for five heartbeats,” she guided us as she took hold of each of our hands. “Exhale completely, and wait five more heartbeats before breathing in again. Eyes closed, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Focus on the astral energies flowing through you with each breath, gently aligning each chakra until those energies are enough to lift you up and out of your body.”
In unison with one another, the three of us slowly breathed in and out, ignoring the material world around us and focusing upon the task at hand. Eve was first, as usual, and because we were all holding hands, Charlotte and I felt her eagerly tugging us up to speed us along.
I opened my eyes, and beheld the dull and muted Physical Plane through my clairvoyance, everything outshined by the radiant forms of my coven mates. I noted that Genevieve had eschewed her normal skyclad form when astral projecting and instead wore a cloak like Charlotte and I.
“Are you worried this place might have a no shirt, no shoes, no souls, no service policy?” I teased her.
“I just don’t want to risk a confrontation over it. I realize how important this is,” she answered. “Though I’m not actually wearing shoes, now that you mention it.”
“Christ, look at the sigil Samantha drew!” Charlotte said, pointing down at the meditation circle beneath us. The sigil wasn’t just glowing but flowing as well, churning the Aether around it in a misty, spectral vortex. “It’s an astral portal, isn’t it?”
“Oh yeah. It’s not stable, though. Good for one trip only,” Genevieve said with a delighted smile. “And Lottie, since we’re Neopagan Witches, try not to swear by Christ, okay?”
“Jesus!” she swore, both in defiance and in genuine annoyance.
“Elam! Elam, come join the circle! I don’t want to take any chances of severing our bond,” I instructed, letting go of Charlotte’s hand and waving him in between us.
Faithful Familiar that he was, he obeyed without hesitation. Despite my concerns, I think that he probably could have stayed behind if he had wanted. The fact that he was willing to follow me to an unknown otherworld without complaint really made me appreciate how devoted he was to me.
“We step in together on the count of three, got it?” I instructed, each of them nodding clearly in response. “One. Two. Three!”
We all extended our right feet into the vortex together, and the instant we did we were swept away, falling out of our own world and tumbling between the cracks of countless others. They weren’t real, I don’t think. At least, not as real as our world. They were potential realities, or realities that could have been once but now can never be, or fantasies that are so persistent in the minds of real people that in some sense or another, they become real themselves. I only saw glimmers of them, glimmers in nebulas made of primeval chaos and uttermost void.
It was outside of time, that place we travelled through, or at least we had no sense of it there. Our souls were haphazardly spat out upon a surreal landscape of earth, sea, and fire. Hilly plains of volcanic ash, incandescent calderas of lava and bubbling hot springs all intermeshed in a chaotic mosaic that didn’t seem to abide by any laws of geology or geography that I was familiar with. A strong but slow wind pushed fractal formations of dark silver clouds through a pale silver sky, illuminated by a single white orb which could have been either a bright moon or a faint sun.
While our spectral feet left no trace upon the ash we now stood upon, our presence nonetheless elicited a response from some of the local fauna. We were just able to catch a glimpse of some kind of shimmering scarabs burrowing themselves into the ash to escape the four otherworldly ghosts that had invaded their territory.
“Holy shit,” Charlotte murmured as we all gazed out upon the strange world we had found ourselves on. “This really isn’t on the Astral Plane. This is a real planet. This a real, alien planet! This is unbelievable!”
Genevieve glided over to one of the bubbling pools and peered into it, looking for any more signs of life.
“There’s some kind of bluish-grey algae growing on the rocks down there, and I think I can make out some small arthropods too. This planet’s alive!” she announced with glee, smiling and looking up at the alien sky.
Conjuring an astral approximation of my staff, I plunged it into a small mound of ash beside me. I watched curiously as the scarabs shot out in all directions, moving too quickly for me to get a good look at them, before scurrying back into the surrounding ash.
“These bugs can sense our presence,” I remarked. “How and why would clairvoyance evolve in insects on this world, and why would their first instinct be to flee?”
“Samantha!” Elam called out. “I think I found the Flea Market.”
We all gathered around him and looked where he was pointing. On a distant dune, we beheld the moulted carapace of a colossal insect, gleaming a brilliant, lustrous gold in the broken white light.
“That’s impossible!” Charlotte claimed. “That thing must be hundreds of meters long! No insect, no animal period could ever get that big on the Physical Plane!”
“It could be the Incarnation of some kind of Titan,” Genevieve suggested. “But… it’s dead. I can tell that even from here. It’s dead. It’s the corpse of a dead god, and now it’s being used as a swap meet with a punny name. Either whatever killed it just abandoned it, or…”
“Or is running the place,” I finished for her. “Well, we should see if we can find Emrys.”
In an instant, the world moved around us until we were at the entrance to the Flea Market. The colossal carapace was hollow inside, of course, and had been filled with a bustling city that looked like it had been created in the most ad hoc manner possible. There wasn’t a single straight street to be seen, and they converged with one another at random intervals. Stalls and buildings varied wildly in both design and materials, all imported from a plethora of different cultures across the planes.
Enormous shards of luminous glass levitated above the throng like a thousand Swords of Damocles, any or all of them seeming capable of succumbing to gravity at any moment. In the very center of the moulted husk dangled a great spiralling chrysalis or hive woven of iridescent silk, its function not being immediately apparent to me.
There must have been thousands of people there, and hundreds of merchants hawking their wares. Most of those who looked human still seemed a little off, like they were members of ethnicities that didn’t exist in our world. Some of the beings were near-human in appearance, many seemingly some kind of Fey or Seelie folk. There was even a small handful of people that weren’t remotely human at all.
The only thing they all had in common was that none were native to this world.
“Most of these people are here in person, aren’t they?” Charlotte asked.
“It would’ve been quite a feat for them to have built all of this while astral projecting,” Genevieve agreed.
“But if this place isn’t connected to the Cuniculi, then how did they get here?” Charlotte asked. “We’re on another planet, maybe even in another dimension. If getting here is beyond the Ooo’s abilities, then what sort of ungodly reality benders decided to turn it into a Flea Market?”
“Ladies, gentlemen, and any beings either too ancient and alien or too modern and alienated to settle on one or the other, come bear witness to one of the most astounding and atrocious abominations on this or any other world!” a fast-paced male voice rang out over the din of the crowd.
We turned to see a short, skinny, old-timey sort of carnival barker standing on a literal soap box, placed next to a large object draped in a black tarp.
“For the paltry price of a single three-headed coin, you can peer beneath the veil and behold with your own unbelieving eyes the mangled and mutilated monstrosity that lurks beneath!” the carnival barker continued. “But I must warn you, it is not possible to truly understand what dwells underneath without seeing it first! I cannot guarantee that you will still retain your sanity or will to live after witnessing the proverbial Mountains of Madness, for this low creature is truly like no other and serves only as a grim testament to the cruel sadism of the Lord Above! Anyone plagued by even the faintest lingering doubt as to their spiritual fortitude should not dare to even contemplate what might lie before me! But, for those brave, noble few who are truly dauntless of heart and incorrigible of spirit, I am proud to share with you this rare, unfathomable, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to witness sublime –”
The carnival barker was interrupted by a man yanking the sheet off the object beside him, revealing it to be a mirror.
“Whelp, that was a hell of an Im14andthisisdeep post, eh?” Charlotte mused.
Genevieve and I, however, were far too stunned to be amused; not by the mirror, but by the man who had unveiled it.
“It’s him, Lottie. That’s Emrys,” Genevieve whispered.
We had only seen him briefly once before, more than two-and-a-half years ago, but he was far from what anyone would call forgettable. He was tall and gaunt, with literal blue blood flowing beneath translucent skin. His long, receding hair and regal beard were pitch black, and dark miasma wafted from his eyes, nose, and mouth. He was dressed in dark sable robes with three overlapping Ouroboros’s tattooed on his forehead, with a pair of ophidian pupils lying in the spaces between them.
What stood out the most to us were the six silver Ouroboros chains bound around his wrists, ankles, waist, and neck. These were the chains the Ophion Occult Order had made to limit the power of his physical avatar, and it seemed he had not yet found a way to free himself from them.
“Are you still here?” Emrys asked in exasperation, tossing the veil back at the carnival barker in disdain.
“…Possibly,” the strange man replied evasively. “But not definitively, for purely legalistic reasons.”
“I believe Mathom-meister was quite clear when he said that your rather pitiful chicanery wasn’t welcomed here,” Emrys reminded him.
“And who is he to judge chicanery from cutthroat, capitalistic competition? Should not the Flea Market be a free market?” the charlatan demanded. “And while we’re on the topic of commerce, I don’t suppose you have enough three-headed coins to pay for all the poor souls you have so discourteously exposed to my exhibit against their will? I’d hate to have to start shaking people down to get my due.”
“Hard to believe your own circus threw you out,” Emrys said with a sardonic eye roll as he tossed him a small medallion. “You get one coin. Take it and get out of my sight.”
The charlatan flipped the coin in the air thrice, presumably to confirm it actually had three heads. Satisfied with its impossible dimensions, he shoved it into his pocket.
“It will cover the trolley ride home, at least,” he acquiesced, stepping off his soap box and turning to face his looking glass. “A shame though you can’t see the genius in my little avant-garde performance piece here, Emmy. Even I know that the monster in the mirror is often the hardest to recognize.”
As the man reached to pick up his mirror, his reflection’s arms shot through the glass and grabbed him by the wrists, pulling him in. Emrys immediately tried to chase after him, but bounced off the glass as if there was nothing supernatural about it at all.
“Bastard!” he cursed under his breath, before turning towards us and giving us a small apologetic smile. “I’m sorry you had to see that rather pathetic display. Unfortunately, the few meeting places I know of that are relatively safe from any Ophionic incursion also attract their fair share of other annoying miscreants.”
“If it didn’t attract a little bit of everything, it wouldn’t be a Flea Market, would it?” I asked rhetorically. “Thank you, Emrys, for inviting us. I’ve never been anywhere like this before.”
“And thank you for accepting. Samantha, Genevieve, it’s a pleasure to see you again, and a relief that you have not fallen under the auspices of the Ophion Occult Order,” he said with a gentle bow. “Elam, I remember you as well. Valiant but not reckless, you remained atop Pendragon Hill during my battle with the Darlings until your mistress was well out of harm’s way, and then you got the hell out of dodge yourself. Samantha couldn’t hope for a better Familiar. And Charlotte, any Witch that Samantha deemed worthy to induct into her coven is obviously someone whose acquaintance I am pleased to make. Welcome, all of you, to Mathom-meister’s Flea Market!”
“So this is where you’ve been hiding out the past two years?” Genevieve asked.
“Oh no. Far too Cosmopolitan for my tastes,” Emrys replied. “No, this is just a friendly place to meet those I consider friends – or potential friends, at least. I’d offer to show you around, but I know it’s difficult for you to astral travel for prolonged periods. Come with me to Mathom-meister’s house where we can talk freely, and we’ll discuss the situation with the Order.”
I gave him a small, single nod in response, and gestured with my staff that he should lead the way. He responded by pointing upwards, then vanished into his shadow form. When we looked up, we saw him waving at us from a balcony atop the great silken chrysalis.
We exchanged hesitant glances with one another, but ultimately followed him into the strange structure, moving from the ground to the balcony in an instant by will alone.
“How would an incarnate being get up here if they couldn’t fly or teleport?” Charlotte asked as she peered over the balcony’s teetering edge.
As though answering a summons, a humanoid creature apparated beside her in a flash of dark vapours. The hunched-back entity stood over six-and-a-half feet tall, and was clad in golden-brown erudite robes. Its squid-like skin was of a similar colour, and its entire face was a single gaping orifice that held a wispy, glowing orb in the center of its skull which I immediately recognized as its soul. A pair of long, fanged tentacles lined with pores and tendrils hung down from its head like a long, forked beard, and the seven digits shared by its two hands all bore wicked-looking talons, as did its two-toed, digitigrade feet.
“Not fly or teleport? What sort of pedestrian house guests do you think I entertain here?” the being asked wryly, its voice seeming to come from nowhere in particular.
Charlotte instinctively backed away from the creature and into the protective fold of our coven, but Emrys was quick to hold up his hand to plead for calm.
“Please, there’s no need for alarm. This is our host, Mathom-meister. He’s the only reason any of this is here in the first place,” Emrys informed us. “A year or two ago a companion of his unfortunately became one of the Darling Twin’s victims, and when he heard of my vendetta with them, he tracked me down; which is no small feat, I assure you.”
“It is for us. My people are a race of Planeswalkers. Traversing the many worlds of Creation is second nature to us,” Mathom-meister explained.
“I’ve… I’ve heard of your people, I think,” I said, softly and unsurely. “A friend of mine had an encounter with an artifact that gave her a vision of a race of strange and powerful sorcerers slaying their own god. I take it you’re the ones who slayed this Scarab Titan as well? That’s, that’s…”
“Horrifying, yes. That’s the idea,” he nodded. “You have nothing to worry about, young Witch. My people have no special interest in your world. This is purely personal. My friend is dead, and I want his murderers brought to justice; a goal which Emrys and I happen to have in common.”
“Feel free to share this information with the Ophion Occult Order, Samantha,” Emrys said. “I’d very much like for the Darling Twins to know what’s hunting them. Mathom-meister, please excuse me while I take my guests inside. We do have pressing business to discuss and their time is limited.”
The squid-cyclopes bowed gracefully, and my coven and I quickly scurried after Emrys as he led us inside through a towering hallway and into a large chamber that had been appointed as a living space.
I had thought that Emrys would want to speak with us alone, which was why I was surprised to see a young woman sitting cross-legged on a spongey yet chitinous object that I will for the sake of my sanity call a bean bag chair. Like Emrys, she was pale and blue-blooded, her choppy hair as black as coal. She wore a black robe and heavy black eyeliner, but these could not conceal the fact that she too had thin wisps of miasma emanating from her eyes.
“Is that your… daughter?” Charlotte asked, as baffled by her presence as any of us. The woman smiled warmly at the question.
“In a way. I was dead, and Emrys gave me new life. Now a part of the Outer Primordial Darkness he represents lives in me too,” she said serenely.
Hovering above her left palm were three small bluish-green orbs, lazily going around in a circle. They were translucent and held something inside them that I couldn’t make out, but the orbs themselves appeared to be melting and solidifying by the woman’s will.
“You’re Petra, aren’t you?” I asked as I cautiously approached her. “Chamberlin had mentioned that Emrys had taken an acolyte. I’m Samantha, and this is Genevieve, Elam, and Charlotte.”
“I know. The whole reason we’re here is to speak with you,” she nodded.
“The Ophion Occult Order calls me a soul-flayer, and I’m sure you were all wondering exactly what that meant before you came here,” Emrys said, standing proudly behind his acolyte. “Well, this is it. The Darkness Beyond is now a part of her, and a part of her now lives within the Darkness Beyond. She is not unchanged from what she was before, but neither has what she was been lost.”
“My interpretation of the term ‘soul-flaying’ was the complete removal of a person’s consciousness from their astral and physical bodies to be subsumed by your Darkness,” I countered. “They told me that what you’ve done with Petra here is just the limit of your power while you’re bound in their chains. Are you telling me that if your chains were broken, you wouldn’t be able to do any worse than this?”
“On my physical avatar? No. So long as my astral form remains chained and bound with the World Serpent, I cannot cleave a conscious mind from its astral substrate,” Emrys assured me.
“But that is your ultimate goal, isn’t it? Breaking the chains the Ophion Occult Order put on you is just a stepping stone to breaking the ones the gods bound you with?” Genevieve asked. “You’ve allied yourself with a literal god slayer. Do you expect us to believe that his people’s abilities aren’t something you intend to put to your own ends?”
“I don’t have an ultimate goal so much as I have a fundamental principle of opposing tyranny,” he claimed. “When I was a mere man, thousands of years ago, I was a tyrant. I believed that might made right so unquestionably that when my might began to fail me, the only thing I could think to do was to try everything in my power to restore it. This quest eventually led to me becoming one with the Darkness Beyond, which gave me not only the might I coveted but the wisdom I didn’t know I needed. It gave me perspective. It made me stronger than any human alive at that point but still let me realize how insignificant I was. It was humbling, and enlightening, and filled me both with remorse over my past actions and an impetus to use my newfound gifts to rectify them. I tried to overthrow the gods themselves which, in hindsight, was overly ambitious. I not only failed but had my soul devoured by the World Serpent, where it still resides to this day.
“I am not eager to bring the wrath of the gods down upon me once again. No, for now, I will be content to end the tyranny of the Ophion Occult Order. This is the message I’d like you to relay to them. If the Grand Adderman agrees to unbind my chains and step down from his post, I will spare his life. If he declines, I want the rest of the Order to know that I will show mercy to any who sides with me over him. I am willing to allow the Order to exist so long as it agrees to become more decentralized, democratic, and accountable. They will have to forfeit certain artifacts and individuals in their possession over to me, chief among them the Darling Twins, but I am willing to negotiate. If they aren’t, then I will overthrow the Grand Adderman by whatever means necessary and see the Order scattered to the four winds. It is entirely up to them whether or not the conflict between us escalates to full-on war. Have I made myself clear, Samantha?”
“I think so,” I said as I pensively considered everything he had said. “Why should they trust you to keep your word once your chains are broken? For that matter, why should we?”
He took a moment to consider his response, eyeing me over as though he was trying to divine something that would win over my trust.
“Samantha, you made a pact with Persephone to get your Spirit Familiar there; one where she swore by the River Styx. Is that correct?” he asked.
“It is,” I nodded.
“And in the years since, has Persephone ever broken that pact she swore to?” he asked.
“No, she hasn’t,” I replied.
“I may not be an Old God, but so long as my astral form remains bound by their chains, they have power over me,” he said. “Samantha Sumner, Hedge Witch of Harrowick Woods, I swear on the River Styx that I have spoken no lies to you today. I swear by the River Styx that I will abide by any Covenant that I and the Ophion Occult Order agree to in good faith and fair dealing that they do not break first. I swear by the River Styx that when my chains are broken, I will give you no cause to fear me or regret your trust in me.”
I gave a questioning glance to Genevieve, and then Elam, both of whom nodded in the affirmative.
“All right. An oath sworn on the River Styx is good enough for me. I’ll deliver your terms to Seneca Chamberlin,” I agreed. “I’m very grateful for the trust and respect you’ve shown for me and my coven, Emrys, though I can’t say I quite understand it. Out of all the guests that were there on the Hallow’s Eve you were summoned, why did Evie and I stand out to you?”
“The Ophion Occult Order deemed you worthy of inclusion in their cult, an offer you rejected on principle. You cheated Persephone, but you did it not to gain immortality for yourself but to save your friend from hell. You came here, thinking I could very well tear your souls asunder, but did so because you believed it was your duty to prevent needless suffering,” Emrys answered. “You are extraordinary in your craft, courage, and conscience, the latter of which especially stood out among the degenerates at that party. I do apologize if I frightened you at that event. I was a bit… irritable, given the circumstances. I’m glad we were able to meet again under more pleasant conditions.”
“So am I, Emrys,” I nodded. “I’m not sure exactly what this means or how relevant it is, but Seneca wanted me to tell you that he’s able to offer you the Dream Demon Red Ruck as a sacrifice.”
“Pffft. Tell him it’s hardly a sacrifice if I’m getting rid of a boogie man for him,” he scoffed. “In fact, now that you mention it, Ruck’s one egregore that might be of more use to me alive.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but we were suddenly interrupted by the rapid pounding of a gong somewhere down below. It seemed to be an alarm of some kind, as we could hear the panicked shouting and frantic racing of people either battening down or forsaking the Flea Market altogether.
Mathom-meister apparated into the middle of the room, his facial tentacles reflexively raised in a defensive position.
“Were you outside the market?” he demanded of us.
“The portal we came through deposited us a few miles outside of the market, yes,” I admitted.
“Damn,” Emrys cursed softly, though he sounded more frustrated than angry. “Meister, it’s not their fault. I knew they weren’t experienced Planeswalkers, I could have – ”
“It doesn’t matter!” Mathom-meister interjected. “They need to leave, now!”
“Why, what’s going on?” Genevieve demanded.
“The scarabs are swarming,” Petra explained. “Don’t feel bad; it happens often enough that they’re prepared for it.”
I wanted to press for more details, but I could hear the humming of a vast winged swarm steadily encroaching upon us.
“Don’t worry. Once you leave the swarm will disperse… eventually,” Emrys told us. “We’ve said all that need be said for now. Return home, and I’ll reach out to you again shortly, Samantha.”
Again, I wanted to object, but the swarm outside was growing louder and louder, and it occurred to me that we might not be completely safe from a biblical swarm of insects that could not only sense but evidently sought out souls.
This occurred to Charlotte as well, as she was the first of us to vanish and awaken back in her body. We could all feel the weight of her reembodied soul tugging on us to return with her. Genevieve immediately grabbed hold of my right hand and Elam my left, both of them refusing to leave before I did.
I spared one final glance at Emrys, lamenting that we couldn’t have had more time.
“I’ll relay everything you said to the Order. I’ll make sure they know you’re willing to negotiate a truce,” I vowed.
He gave me a gracious nod, and just as we heard the swarm start to pelt the exterior of the market, I forced my physical eyes open and was back in my body, still safely under a willow tree in my cemetery.
I immediately looked beside me to Genevieve, and saw that she was awake as well, and then around me for Elam, who seemed to be suffering a bit of spectral whiplash from being pulled back with me so suddenly, but was otherwise all right. Sighing with relief, I turned lastly to Charlotte, and saw that she was looking down at the mediation circle in dreaded horror.
Following her gaze, I saw that the Undying Rose was gone – spent, perhaps, in exchange for our passage – and in its place was the inert, and hopefully dead, body of one of the shimmering scarabs.
_____________________
By The Vesper's Bell

“I’m sorry; we’re going to astral travel to a flea market?” Charlotte asked incredulously as she watched Genevieve and I set up a meditation circle under the shade of a towering old willow tree in my cemetery. “What if we want to buy something? How will we bring it back?”
“We’re not going there to shop, Lottie. Samantha’s finally had a vision about Emrys,” Genevieve explained.
The Veil between the Physical and Astral Planes is exceptionally weak in my cemetery, especially at night and on hallowed days. When I sleep there, my subconscious mind is highly receptive to all manner of revelations from the Spirit World. When I saw a Blood Moon rise on the night of May fifth, the same night as a penumbral eclipse, I knew that my dreams would be prophetic.
“I had a dream about him last Friday,” I expounded. “He’s at some sort of otherworldly marketplace, one that’s not connected to the Crypto Chthonic Cuniculi, so it’s mostly inaccessible to the Ophion Occult Order. In my dream, Emrys invited us to come and speak with him while we were lucid. He drew a sigil for me, the same one I’ve drawn in the middle of the mediation circle. He said that all I’d have to do is toss an Undying Rose – the earthly effigy of the rose Persephone used to steal a drop of his blood – into the sigil and it will become an astral portal to where he is.”
I held up the deep purple rose that I had cut from its bush earlier that day. I don’t know for certain where the roses came from, but my best guess is that they were made by the same Occultist who hallowed my cemetery to Persephone; Artaxerxes Crow. They have some connection to Emrys as well, since the only other time I saw someone else use one was when his avatar was summoned into the Physical Plane on Halloween 2020.
Knowing that Emrys wouldn’t dare to set foot in a place that was sacred to the Goddess who was ultimately responsible for his cosmic defeat, I gently tossed the rose into the middle of the sigil.
“He invited all of us?” Charlotte asked with an incredulous raising of her eyebrow.
“He said me and my coven. If he had just meant me or me and Genevieve he would have said that,” I replied. “You and Elam are coming too. I want as many eyes on this place as possible so that we don’t miss anything. We may not get an opportunity like this again.”
“And this is safe? Visiting some random flea market between worlds?” Charlotte asked.
“Samantha and I have visited the Underworld and come back no problem,” Genevieve reminded her. “So long as we’re bound to our bodies and Elam is bound to Samantha, we can come back anytime. Don’t worry; this is going to be a blast! Adventures like these are the best part of being a Witch.”
“The only reason you were able to go to the Underworld is because Samantha’s cemetery came with an astral portal in the back,” Charlotte countered, gesticulating in the general direction of the archway that was still partially visible behind the light spring foliage. “Other than that, when have any of us ever done anything useful with our astral projection? This is still a physical place, right? We don’t have any of our physical senses available to us when we astral project, and I get extremely disoriented trying to navigate the mortal plane with clairvoyance alone.”
“It is a physical place, but one saturated with astral energy and full of occultists and occult artifacts. It will be extremely illuminated to our clairvoyance,” I assured her. “Elam will also be there to guide us. As a ghost, he’s much more practiced at traversing the mortal plane in an astral form.”
Charlotte folded her arms over her chest and turned to look at Elam, who was leaning up against the willow tree as he waited for us.
“I don’t suppose you could go and scout the place out for us ahead of time?” she asked.
“I can’t go too far from Samantha, and definitely not across planes,” he said with a shake of his head. “But Eve’s right. Your astral bodies will be in no danger, and you can return here in an instant whenever you want.”
“But what about Emrys? Didn’t that book Leon gave you say that he’s some sort of soul-flayer?” Charlotte asked me.
“It did,” I admitted. “Keep in mind though, that book was written by his enemies. I want to hear his side of things before this conflict of theirs spirals out of control.”
“Any update from Chamberlin about that?” Elam asked.
“Yeah, he said that after he failed to purify the Sigil Sand, Ivy’s onboard with negotiating some kind of truce with Emrys,” I replied. “The Grand Adderman’s still reticent, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s running out of options. I need to find out if Emrys will agree to peace talks.”
“Um, I get that, but I’m still kind of hung up on him potentially flaying our souls,” Charlotte reiterated.
“If Emrys and the Ophion Occult Order go to all-out war, there’ll be a lot of collateral damage and innocent souls caught in the crossfire,” Genevieve told her, gently grabbing hold of her and looking her straight in the eye. “Samantha, Elam, and I are doing this because if there’s any chance we can put an end to this before it starts, then it’s our responsibility to try. You don’t have to come with us, Lottie, but you’re still a member of our coven. Samantha and I would both feel a lot better with you there to help us.”
“Arghhh! All right, fine! I’ll come with you,” Charlotte gave in, plopping her butt down on the edge of the meditation circle. “If we’re holding hands, that will help keep our astral bodies together too, right?”
“I believe it should, yes,” I smiled at her, sitting down and reaching out for her hand.
Genevieve lit the incense and her bong filled with the entheogenic Delphi Dream, before sitting down to join us. She took a hit from the bong before passing it to me, and then to Charlotte before setting it aside out of the circle.
“Start with taking a deep breath, completely filling the lungs, and holding it for five heartbeats,” she guided us as she took hold of each of our hands. “Exhale completely, and wait five more heartbeats before breathing in again. Eyes closed, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Focus on the astral energies flowing through you with each breath, gently aligning each chakra until those energies are enough to lift you up and out of your body.”
In unison with one another, the three of us slowly breathed in and out, ignoring the material world around us and focusing upon the task at hand. Eve was first, as usual, and because we were all holding hands, Charlotte and I felt her eagerly tugging us up to speed us along.
I opened my eyes, and beheld the dull and muted Physical Plane through my clairvoyance, everything outshined by the radiant forms of my coven mates. I noted that Genevieve had eschewed her normal skyclad form when astral projecting and instead wore a cloak like Charlotte and I.
“Are you worried this place might have a no shirt, no shoes, no souls, no service policy?” I teased her.
“I just don’t want to risk a confrontation over it. I realize how important this is,” she answered. “Though I’m not actually wearing shoes, now that you mention it.”
“Christ, look at the sigil Samantha drew!” Charlotte said, pointing down at the meditation circle beneath us. The sigil wasn’t just glowing but flowing as well, churning the Aether around it in a misty, spectral vortex. “It’s an astral portal, isn’t it?”
“Oh yeah. It’s not stable, though. Good for one trip only,” Genevieve said with a delighted smile. “And Lottie, since we’re Neopagan Witches, try not to swear by Christ, okay?”
“Jesus!” she swore, both in defiance and in genuine annoyance.
“Elam! Elam, come join the circle! I don’t want to take any chances of severing our bond,” I instructed, letting go of Charlotte’s hand and waving him in between us.
Faithful Familiar that he was, he obeyed without hesitation. Despite my concerns, I think that he probably could have stayed behind if he had wanted. The fact that he was willing to follow me to an unknown otherworld without complaint really made me appreciate how devoted he was to me.
“We step in together on the count of three, got it?” I instructed, each of them nodding clearly in response. “One. Two. Three!”
We all extended our right feet into the vortex together, and the instant we did we were swept away, falling out of our own world and tumbling between the cracks of countless others. They weren’t real, I don’t think. At least, not as real as our world. They were potential realities, or realities that could have been once but now can never be, or fantasies that are so persistent in the minds of real people that in some sense or another, they become real themselves. I only saw glimmers of them, glimmers in nebulas made of primeval chaos and uttermost void.
It was outside of time, that place we travelled through, or at least we had no sense of it there. Our souls were haphazardly spat out upon a surreal landscape of earth, sea, and fire. Hilly plains of volcanic ash, incandescent calderas of lava and bubbling hot springs all intermeshed in a chaotic mosaic that didn’t seem to abide by any laws of geology or geography that I was familiar with. A strong but slow wind pushed fractal formations of dark silver clouds through a pale silver sky, illuminated by a single white orb which could have been either a bright moon or a faint sun.
While our spectral feet left no trace upon the ash we now stood upon, our presence nonetheless elicited a response from some of the local fauna. We were just able to catch a glimpse of some kind of shimmering scarabs burrowing themselves into the ash to escape the four otherworldly ghosts that had invaded their territory.
“Holy shit,” Charlotte murmured as we all gazed out upon the strange world we had found ourselves on. “This really isn’t on the Astral Plane. This is a real planet. This a real, alien planet! This is unbelievable!”
Genevieve glided over to one of the bubbling pools and peered into it, looking for any more signs of life.
“There’s some kind of bluish-grey algae growing on the rocks down there, and I think I can make out some small arthropods too. This planet’s alive!” she announced with glee, smiling and looking up at the alien sky.
Conjuring an astral approximation of my staff, I plunged it into a small mound of ash beside me. I watched curiously as the scarabs shot out in all directions, moving too quickly for me to get a good look at them, before scurrying back into the surrounding ash.
“These bugs can sense our presence,” I remarked. “How and why would clairvoyance evolve in insects on this world, and why would their first instinct be to flee?”
“Samantha!” Elam called out. “I think I found the Flea Market.”
We all gathered around him and looked where he was pointing. On a distant dune, we beheld the moulted carapace of a colossal insect, gleaming a brilliant, lustrous gold in the broken white light.
“That’s impossible!” Charlotte claimed. “That thing must be hundreds of meters long! No insect, no animal period could ever get that big on the Physical Plane!”
“It could be the Incarnation of some kind of Titan,” Genevieve suggested. “But… it’s dead. I can tell that even from here. It’s dead. It’s the corpse of a dead god, and now it’s being used as a swap meet with a punny name. Either whatever killed it just abandoned it, or…”
“Or is running the place,” I finished for her. “Well, we should see if we can find Emrys.”
In an instant, the world moved around us until we were at the entrance to the Flea Market. The colossal carapace was hollow inside, of course, and had been filled with a bustling city that looked like it had been created in the most ad hoc manner possible. There wasn’t a single straight street to be seen, and they converged with one another at random intervals. Stalls and buildings varied wildly in both design and materials, all imported from a plethora of different cultures across the planes.
Enormous shards of luminous glass levitated above the throng like a thousand Swords of Damocles, any or all of them seeming capable of succumbing to gravity at any moment. In the very center of the moulted husk dangled a great spiralling chrysalis or hive woven of iridescent silk, its function not being immediately apparent to me.
There must have been thousands of people there, and hundreds of merchants hawking their wares. Most of those who looked human still seemed a little off, like they were members of ethnicities that didn’t exist in our world. Some of the beings were near-human in appearance, many seemingly some kind of Fey or Seelie folk. There was even a small handful of people that weren’t remotely human at all.
The only thing they all had in common was that none were native to this world.
“Most of these people are here in person, aren’t they?” Charlotte asked.
“It would’ve been quite a feat for them to have built all of this while astral projecting,” Genevieve agreed.
“But if this place isn’t connected to the Cuniculi, then how did they get here?” Charlotte asked. “We’re on another planet, maybe even in another dimension. If getting here is beyond the Ooo’s abilities, then what sort of ungodly reality benders decided to turn it into a Flea Market?”
“Ladies, gentlemen, and any beings either too ancient and alien or too modern and alienated to settle on one or the other, come bear witness to one of the most astounding and atrocious abominations on this or any other world!” a fast-paced male voice rang out over the din of the crowd.
We turned to see a short, skinny, old-timey sort of carnival barker standing on a literal soap box, placed next to a large object draped in a black tarp.
“For the paltry price of a single three-headed coin, you can peer beneath the veil and behold with your own unbelieving eyes the mangled and mutilated monstrosity that lurks beneath!” the carnival barker continued. “But I must warn you, it is not possible to truly understand what dwells underneath without seeing it first! I cannot guarantee that you will still retain your sanity or will to live after witnessing the proverbial Mountains of Madness, for this low creature is truly like no other and serves only as a grim testament to the cruel sadism of the Lord Above! Anyone plagued by even the faintest lingering doubt as to their spiritual fortitude should not dare to even contemplate what might lie before me! But, for those brave, noble few who are truly dauntless of heart and incorrigible of spirit, I am proud to share with you this rare, unfathomable, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to witness sublime –”
The carnival barker was interrupted by a man yanking the sheet off the object beside him, revealing it to be a mirror.
“Whelp, that was a hell of an Im14andthisisdeep post, eh?” Charlotte mused.
Genevieve and I, however, were far too stunned to be amused; not by the mirror, but by the man who had unveiled it.
“It’s him, Lottie. That’s Emrys,” Genevieve whispered.
We had only seen him briefly once before, more than two-and-a-half years ago, but he was far from what anyone would call forgettable. He was tall and gaunt, with literal blue blood flowing beneath translucent skin. His long, receding hair and regal beard were pitch black, and dark miasma wafted from his eyes, nose, and mouth. He was dressed in dark sable robes with three overlapping Ouroboros’s tattooed on his forehead, with a pair of ophidian pupils lying in the spaces between them.
What stood out the most to us were the six silver Ouroboros chains bound around his wrists, ankles, waist, and neck. These were the chains the Ophion Occult Order had made to limit the power of his physical avatar, and it seemed he had not yet found a way to free himself from them.
“Are you still here?” Emrys asked in exasperation, tossing the veil back at the carnival barker in disdain.
“…Possibly,” the strange man replied evasively. “But not definitively, for purely legalistic reasons.”
“I believe Mathom-meister was quite clear when he said that your rather pitiful chicanery wasn’t welcomed here,” Emrys reminded him.
“And who is he to judge chicanery from cutthroat, capitalistic competition? Should not the Flea Market be a free market?” the charlatan demanded. “And while we’re on the topic of commerce, I don’t suppose you have enough three-headed coins to pay for all the poor souls you have so discourteously exposed to my exhibit against their will? I’d hate to have to start shaking people down to get my due.”
“Hard to believe your own circus threw you out,” Emrys said with a sardonic eye roll as he tossed him a small medallion. “You get one coin. Take it and get out of my sight.”
The charlatan flipped the coin in the air thrice, presumably to confirm it actually had three heads. Satisfied with its impossible dimensions, he shoved it into his pocket.
“It will cover the trolley ride home, at least,” he acquiesced, stepping off his soap box and turning to face his looking glass. “A shame though you can’t see the genius in my little avant-garde performance piece here, Emmy. Even I know that the monster in the mirror is often the hardest to recognize.”
As the man reached to pick up his mirror, his reflection’s arms shot through the glass and grabbed him by the wrists, pulling him in. Emrys immediately tried to chase after him, but bounced off the glass as if there was nothing supernatural about it at all.
“Bastard!” he cursed under his breath, before turning towards us and giving us a small apologetic smile. “I’m sorry you had to see that rather pathetic display. Unfortunately, the few meeting places I know of that are relatively safe from any Ophionic incursion also attract their fair share of other annoying miscreants.”
“If it didn’t attract a little bit of everything, it wouldn’t be a Flea Market, would it?” I asked rhetorically. “Thank you, Emrys, for inviting us. I’ve never been anywhere like this before.”
“And thank you for accepting. Samantha, Genevieve, it’s a pleasure to see you again, and a relief that you have not fallen under the auspices of the Ophion Occult Order,” he said with a gentle bow. “Elam, I remember you as well. Valiant but not reckless, you remained atop Pendragon Hill during my battle with the Darlings until your mistress was well out of harm’s way, and then you got the hell out of dodge yourself. Samantha couldn’t hope for a better Familiar. And Charlotte, any Witch that Samantha deemed worthy to induct into her coven is obviously someone whose acquaintance I am pleased to make. Welcome, all of you, to Mathom-meister’s Flea Market!”
“So this is where you’ve been hiding out the past two years?” Genevieve asked.
“Oh no. Far too Cosmopolitan for my tastes,” Emrys replied. “No, this is just a friendly place to meet those I consider friends – or potential friends, at least. I’d offer to show you around, but I know it’s difficult for you to astral travel for prolonged periods. Come with me to Mathom-meister’s house where we can talk freely, and we’ll discuss the situation with the Order.”
I gave him a small, single nod in response, and gestured with my staff that he should lead the way. He responded by pointing upwards, then vanished into his shadow form. When we looked up, we saw him waving at us from a balcony atop the great silken chrysalis.
We exchanged hesitant glances with one another, but ultimately followed him into the strange structure, moving from the ground to the balcony in an instant by will alone.
“How would an incarnate being get up here if they couldn’t fly or teleport?” Charlotte asked as she peered over the balcony’s teetering edge.
As though answering a summons, a humanoid creature apparated beside her in a flash of dark vapours. The hunched-back entity stood over six-and-a-half feet tall, and was clad in golden-brown erudite robes. Its squid-like skin was of a similar colour, and its entire face was a single gaping orifice that held a wispy, glowing orb in the center of its skull which I immediately recognized as its soul. A pair of long, fanged tentacles lined with pores and tendrils hung down from its head like a long, forked beard, and the seven digits shared by its two hands all bore wicked-looking talons, as did its two-toed, digitigrade feet.
“Not fly or teleport? What sort of pedestrian house guests do you think I entertain here?” the being asked wryly, its voice seeming to come from nowhere in particular.
Charlotte instinctively backed away from the creature and into the protective fold of our coven, but Emrys was quick to hold up his hand to plead for calm.
“Please, there’s no need for alarm. This is our host, Mathom-meister. He’s the only reason any of this is here in the first place,” Emrys informed us. “A year or two ago a companion of his unfortunately became one of the Darling Twin’s victims, and when he heard of my vendetta with them, he tracked me down; which is no small feat, I assure you.”
“It is for us. My people are a race of Planeswalkers. Traversing the many worlds of Creation is second nature to us,” Mathom-meister explained.
“I’ve… I’ve heard of your people, I think,” I said, softly and unsurely. “A friend of mine had an encounter with an artifact that gave her a vision of a race of strange and powerful sorcerers slaying their own god. I take it you’re the ones who slayed this Scarab Titan as well? That’s, that’s…”
“Horrifying, yes. That’s the idea,” he nodded. “You have nothing to worry about, young Witch. My people have no special interest in your world. This is purely personal. My friend is dead, and I want his murderers brought to justice; a goal which Emrys and I happen to have in common.”
“Feel free to share this information with the Ophion Occult Order, Samantha,” Emrys said. “I’d very much like for the Darling Twins to know what’s hunting them. Mathom-meister, please excuse me while I take my guests inside. We do have pressing business to discuss and their time is limited.”
The squid-cyclopes bowed gracefully, and my coven and I quickly scurried after Emrys as he led us inside through a towering hallway and into a large chamber that had been appointed as a living space.
I had thought that Emrys would want to speak with us alone, which was why I was surprised to see a young woman sitting cross-legged on a spongey yet chitinous object that I will for the sake of my sanity call a bean bag chair. Like Emrys, she was pale and blue-blooded, her choppy hair as black as coal. She wore a black robe and heavy black eyeliner, but these could not conceal the fact that she too had thin wisps of miasma emanating from her eyes.
“Is that your… daughter?” Charlotte asked, as baffled by her presence as any of us. The woman smiled warmly at the question.
“In a way. I was dead, and Emrys gave me new life. Now a part of the Outer Primordial Darkness he represents lives in me too,” she said serenely.
Hovering above her left palm were three small bluish-green orbs, lazily going around in a circle. They were translucent and held something inside them that I couldn’t make out, but the orbs themselves appeared to be melting and solidifying by the woman’s will.
“You’re Petra, aren’t you?” I asked as I cautiously approached her. “Chamberlin had mentioned that Emrys had taken an acolyte. I’m Samantha, and this is Genevieve, Elam, and Charlotte.”
“I know. The whole reason we’re here is to speak with you,” she nodded.
“The Ophion Occult Order calls me a soul-flayer, and I’m sure you were all wondering exactly what that meant before you came here,” Emrys said, standing proudly behind his acolyte. “Well, this is it. The Darkness Beyond is now a part of her, and a part of her now lives within the Darkness Beyond. She is not unchanged from what she was before, but neither has what she was been lost.”
“My interpretation of the term ‘soul-flaying’ was the complete removal of a person’s consciousness from their astral and physical bodies to be subsumed by your Darkness,” I countered. “They told me that what you’ve done with Petra here is just the limit of your power while you’re bound in their chains. Are you telling me that if your chains were broken, you wouldn’t be able to do any worse than this?”
“On my physical avatar? No. So long as my astral form remains chained and bound with the World Serpent, I cannot cleave a conscious mind from its astral substrate,” Emrys assured me.
“But that is your ultimate goal, isn’t it? Breaking the chains the Ophion Occult Order put on you is just a stepping stone to breaking the ones the gods bound you with?” Genevieve asked. “You’ve allied yourself with a literal god slayer. Do you expect us to believe that his people’s abilities aren’t something you intend to put to your own ends?”
“I don’t have an ultimate goal so much as I have a fundamental principle of opposing tyranny,” he claimed. “When I was a mere man, thousands of years ago, I was a tyrant. I believed that might made right so unquestionably that when my might began to fail me, the only thing I could think to do was to try everything in my power to restore it. This quest eventually led to me becoming one with the Darkness Beyond, which gave me not only the might I coveted but the wisdom I didn’t know I needed. It gave me perspective. It made me stronger than any human alive at that point but still let me realize how insignificant I was. It was humbling, and enlightening, and filled me both with remorse over my past actions and an impetus to use my newfound gifts to rectify them. I tried to overthrow the gods themselves which, in hindsight, was overly ambitious. I not only failed but had my soul devoured by the World Serpent, where it still resides to this day.
“I am not eager to bring the wrath of the gods down upon me once again. No, for now, I will be content to end the tyranny of the Ophion Occult Order. This is the message I’d like you to relay to them. If the Grand Adderman agrees to unbind my chains and step down from his post, I will spare his life. If he declines, I want the rest of the Order to know that I will show mercy to any who sides with me over him. I am willing to allow the Order to exist so long as it agrees to become more decentralized, democratic, and accountable. They will have to forfeit certain artifacts and individuals in their possession over to me, chief among them the Darling Twins, but I am willing to negotiate. If they aren’t, then I will overthrow the Grand Adderman by whatever means necessary and see the Order scattered to the four winds. It is entirely up to them whether or not the conflict between us escalates to full-on war. Have I made myself clear, Samantha?”
“I think so,” I said as I pensively considered everything he had said. “Why should they trust you to keep your word once your chains are broken? For that matter, why should we?”
He took a moment to consider his response, eyeing me over as though he was trying to divine something that would win over my trust.
“Samantha, you made a pact with Persephone to get your Spirit Familiar there; one where she swore by the River Styx. Is that correct?” he asked.
“It is,” I nodded.
“And in the years since, has Persephone ever broken that pact she swore to?” he asked.
“No, she hasn’t,” I replied.
“I may not be an Old God, but so long as my astral form remains bound by their chains, they have power over me,” he said. “Samantha Sumner, Hedge Witch of Harrowick Woods, I swear on the River Styx that I have spoken no lies to you today. I swear by the River Styx that I will abide by any Covenant that I and the Ophion Occult Order agree to in good faith and fair dealing that they do not break first. I swear by the River Styx that when my chains are broken, I will give you no cause to fear me or regret your trust in me.”
I gave a questioning glance to Genevieve, and then Elam, both of whom nodded in the affirmative.
“All right. An oath sworn on the River Styx is good enough for me. I’ll deliver your terms to Seneca Chamberlin,” I agreed. “I’m very grateful for the trust and respect you’ve shown for me and my coven, Emrys, though I can’t say I quite understand it. Out of all the guests that were there on the Hallow’s Eve you were summoned, why did Evie and I stand out to you?”
“The Ophion Occult Order deemed you worthy of inclusion in their cult, an offer you rejected on principle. You cheated Persephone, but you did it not to gain immortality for yourself but to save your friend from hell. You came here, thinking I could very well tear your souls asunder, but did so because you believed it was your duty to prevent needless suffering,” Emrys answered. “You are extraordinary in your craft, courage, and conscience, the latter of which especially stood out among the degenerates at that party. I do apologize if I frightened you at that event. I was a bit… irritable, given the circumstances. I’m glad we were able to meet again under more pleasant conditions.”
“So am I, Emrys,” I nodded. “I’m not sure exactly what this means or how relevant it is, but Seneca wanted me to tell you that he’s able to offer you the Dream Demon Red Ruck as a sacrifice.”
“Pffft. Tell him it’s hardly a sacrifice if I’m getting rid of a boogie man for him,” he scoffed. “In fact, now that you mention it, Ruck’s one egregore that might be of more use to me alive.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but we were suddenly interrupted by the rapid pounding of a gong somewhere down below. It seemed to be an alarm of some kind, as we could hear the panicked shouting and frantic racing of people either battening down or forsaking the Flea Market altogether.
Mathom-meister apparated into the middle of the room, his facial tentacles reflexively raised in a defensive position.
“Were you outside the market?” he demanded of us.
“The portal we came through deposited us a few miles outside of the market, yes,” I admitted.
“Damn,” Emrys cursed softly, though he sounded more frustrated than angry. “Meister, it’s not their fault. I knew they weren’t experienced Planeswalkers, I could have – ”
“It doesn’t matter!” Mathom-meister interjected. “They need to leave, now!”
“Why, what’s going on?” Genevieve demanded.
“The scarabs are swarming,” Petra explained. “Don’t feel bad; it happens often enough that they’re prepared for it.”
I wanted to press for more details, but I could hear the humming of a vast winged swarm steadily encroaching upon us.
“Don’t worry. Once you leave the swarm will disperse… eventually,” Emrys told us. “We’ve said all that need be said for now. Return home, and I’ll reach out to you again shortly, Samantha.”
Again, I wanted to object, but the swarm outside was growing louder and louder, and it occurred to me that we might not be completely safe from a biblical swarm of insects that could not only sense but evidently sought out souls.
This occurred to Charlotte as well, as she was the first of us to vanish and awaken back in her body. We could all feel the weight of her reembodied soul tugging on us to return with her. Genevieve immediately grabbed hold of my right hand and Elam my left, both of them refusing to leave before I did.
I spared one final glance at Emrys, lamenting that we couldn’t have had more time.
“I’ll relay everything you said to the Order. I’ll make sure they know you’re willing to negotiate a truce,” I vowed.
He gave me a gracious nod, and just as we heard the swarm start to pelt the exterior of the market, I forced my physical eyes open and was back in my body, still safely under a willow tree in my cemetery.
I immediately looked beside me to Genevieve, and saw that she was awake as well, and then around me for Elam, who seemed to be suffering a bit of spectral whiplash from being pulled back with me so suddenly, but was otherwise all right. Sighing with relief, I turned lastly to Charlotte, and saw that she was looking down at the mediation circle in dreaded horror.
Following her gaze, I saw that the Undying Rose was gone – spent, perhaps, in exchange for our passage – and in its place was the inert, and hopefully dead, body of one of the shimmering scarabs.

“I’m sorry; we’re going to astral travel to a flea market?” Charlotte asked incredulously as she watched Genevieve and I set up a meditation circle under the shade of a towering old willow tree in my cemetery. “What if we want to buy something? How will we bring it back?”
“We’re not going there to shop, Lottie. Samantha’s finally had a vision about Emrys,” Genevieve explained.
The Veil between the Physical and Astral Planes is exceptionally weak in my cemetery, especially at night and on hallowed days. When I sleep there, my subconscious mind is highly receptive to all manner of revelations from the Spirit World. When I saw a Blood Moon rise on the night of May fifth, the same night as a penumbral eclipse, I knew that my dreams would be prophetic.
“I had a dream about him last Friday,” I expounded. “He’s at some sort of otherworldly marketplace, one that’s not connected to the Crypto Chthonic Cuniculi, so it’s mostly inaccessible to the Ophion Occult Order. In my dream, Emrys invited us to come and speak with him while we were lucid. He drew a sigil for me, the same one I’ve drawn in the middle of the mediation circle. He said that all I’d have to do is toss an Undying Rose – the earthly effigy of the rose Persephone used to steal a drop of his blood – into the sigil and it will become an astral portal to where he is.”
I held up the deep purple rose that I had cut from its bush earlier that day. I don’t know for certain where the roses came from, but my best guess is that they were made by the same Occultist who hallowed my cemetery to Persephone; Artaxerxes Crow. They have some connection to Emrys as well, since the only other time I saw someone else use one was when his avatar was summoned into the Physical Plane on Halloween 2020.
Knowing that Emrys wouldn’t dare to set foot in a place that was sacred to the Goddess who was ultimately responsible for his cosmic defeat, I gently tossed the rose into the middle of the sigil.
“He invited all of us?” Charlotte asked with an incredulous raising of her eyebrow.
“He said me and my coven. If he had just meant me or me and Genevieve he would have said that,” I replied. “You and Elam are coming too. I want as many eyes on this place as possible so that we don’t miss anything. We may not get an opportunity like this again.”
“And this is safe? Visiting some random flea market between worlds?” Charlotte asked.
“Samantha and I have visited the Underworld and come back no problem,” Genevieve reminded her. “So long as we’re bound to our bodies and Elam is bound to Samantha, we can come back anytime. Don’t worry; this is going to be a blast! Adventures like these are the best part of being a Witch.”
“The only reason you were able to go to the Underworld is because Samantha’s cemetery came with an astral portal in the back,” Charlotte countered, gesticulating in the general direction of the archway that was still partially visible behind the light spring foliage. “Other than that, when have any of us ever done anything useful with our astral projection? This is still a physical place, right? We don’t have any of our physical senses available to us when we astral project, and I get extremely disoriented trying to navigate the mortal plane with clairvoyance alone.”
“It is a physical place, but one saturated with astral energy and full of occultists and occult artifacts. It will be extremely illuminated to our clairvoyance,” I assured her. “Elam will also be there to guide us. As a ghost, he’s much more practiced at traversing the mortal plane in an astral form.”
Charlotte folded her arms over her chest and turned to look at Elam, who was leaning up against the willow tree as he waited for us.
“I don’t suppose you could go and scout the place out for us ahead of time?” she asked.
“I can’t go too far from Samantha, and definitely not across planes,” he said with a shake of his head. “But Eve’s right. Your astral bodies will be in no danger, and you can return here in an instant whenever you want.”
“But what about Emrys? Didn’t that book Leon gave you say that he’s some sort of soul-flayer?” Charlotte asked me.
“It did,” I admitted. “Keep in mind though, that book was written by his enemies. I want to hear his side of things before this conflict of theirs spirals out of control.”
“Any update from Chamberlin about that?” Elam asked.
“Yeah, he said that after he failed to purify the Sigil Sand, Ivy’s onboard with negotiating some kind of truce with Emrys,” I replied. “The Grand Adderman’s still reticent, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s running out of options. I need to find out if Emrys will agree to peace talks.”
“Um, I get that, but I’m still kind of hung up on him potentially flaying our souls,” Charlotte reiterated.
“If Emrys and the Ophion Occult Order go to all-out war, there’ll be a lot of collateral damage and innocent souls caught in the crossfire,” Genevieve told her, gently grabbing hold of her and looking her straight in the eye. “Samantha, Elam, and I are doing this because if there’s any chance we can put an end to this before it starts, then it’s our responsibility to try. You don’t have to come with us, Lottie, but you’re still a member of our coven. Samantha and I would both feel a lot better with you there to help us.”
“Arghhh! All right, fine! I’ll come with you,” Charlotte gave in, plopping her butt down on the edge of the meditation circle. “If we’re holding hands, that will help keep our astral bodies together too, right?”
“I believe it should, yes,” I smiled at her, sitting down and reaching out for her hand.
Genevieve lit the incense and her bong filled with the entheogenic Delphi Dream, before sitting down to join us. She took a hit from the bong before passing it to me, and then to Charlotte before setting it aside out of the circle.
“Start with taking a deep breath, completely filling the lungs, and holding it for five heartbeats,” she guided us as she took hold of each of our hands. “Exhale completely, and wait five more heartbeats before breathing in again. Eyes closed, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Focus on the astral energies flowing through you with each breath, gently aligning each chakra until those energies are enough to lift you up and out of your body.”
In unison with one another, the three of us slowly breathed in and out, ignoring the material world around us and focusing upon the task at hand. Eve was first, as usual, and because we were all holding hands, Charlotte and I felt her eagerly tugging us up to speed us along.
I opened my eyes, and beheld the dull and muted Physical Plane through my clairvoyance, everything outshined by the radiant forms of my coven mates. I noted that Genevieve had eschewed her normal skyclad form when astral projecting and instead wore a cloak like Charlotte and I.
“Are you worried this place might have a no shirt, no shoes, no souls, no service policy?” I teased her.
“I just don’t want to risk a confrontation over it. I realize how important this is,” she answered. “Though I’m not actually wearing shoes, now that you mention it.”
“Christ, look at the sigil Samantha drew!” Charlotte said, pointing down at the meditation circle beneath us. The sigil wasn’t just glowing but flowing as well, churning the Aether around it in a misty, spectral vortex. “It’s an astral portal, isn’t it?”
“Oh yeah. It’s not stable, though. Good for one trip only,” Genevieve said with a delighted smile. “And Lottie, since we’re Neopagan Witches, try not to swear by Christ, okay?”
“Jesus!” she swore, both in defiance and in genuine annoyance.
“Elam! Elam, come join the circle! I don’t want to take any chances of severing our bond,” I instructed, letting go of Charlotte’s hand and waving him in between us.
Faithful Familiar that he was, he obeyed without hesitation. Despite my concerns, I think that he probably could have stayed behind if he had wanted. The fact that he was willing to follow me to an unknown otherworld without complaint really made me appreciate how devoted he was to me.
“We step in together on the count of three, got it?” I instructed, each of them nodding clearly in response. “One. Two. Three!”
We all extended our right feet into the vortex together, and the instant we did we were swept away, falling out of our own world and tumbling between the cracks of countless others. They weren’t real, I don’t think. At least, not as real as our world. They were potential realities, or realities that could have been once but now can never be, or fantasies that are so persistent in the minds of real people that in some sense or another, they become real themselves. I only saw glimmers of them, glimmers in nebulas made of primeval chaos and uttermost void.
It was outside of time, that place we travelled through, or at least we had no sense of it there. Our souls were haphazardly spat out upon a surreal landscape of earth, sea, and fire. Hilly plains of volcanic ash, incandescent calderas of lava and bubbling hot springs all intermeshed in a chaotic mosaic that didn’t seem to abide by any laws of geology or geography that I was familiar with. A strong but slow wind pushed fractal formations of dark silver clouds through a pale silver sky, illuminated by a single white orb which could have been either a bright moon or a faint sun.
While our spectral feet left no trace upon the ash we now stood upon, our presence nonetheless elicited a response from some of the local fauna. We were just able to catch a glimpse of some kind of shimmering scarabs burrowing themselves into the ash to escape the four otherworldly ghosts that had invaded their territory.
“Holy shit,” Charlotte murmured as we all gazed out upon the strange world we had found ourselves on. “This really isn’t on the Astral Plane. This is a real planet. This a real, alien planet! This is unbelievable!”
Genevieve glided over to one of the bubbling pools and peered into it, looking for any more signs of life.
“There’s some kind of bluish-grey algae growing on the rocks down there, and I think I can make out some small arthropods too. This planet’s alive!” she announced with glee, smiling and looking up at the alien sky.
Conjuring an astral approximation of my staff, I plunged it into a small mound of ash beside me. I watched curiously as the scarabs shot out in all directions, moving too quickly for me to get a good look at them, before scurrying back into the surrounding ash.
“These bugs can sense our presence,” I remarked. “How and why would clairvoyance evolve in insects on this world, and why would their first instinct be to flee?”
“Samantha!” Elam called out. “I think I found the Flea Market.”
We all gathered around him and looked where he was pointing. On a distant dune, we beheld the moulted carapace of a colossal insect, gleaming a brilliant, lustrous gold in the broken white light.
“That’s impossible!” Charlotte claimed. “That thing must be hundreds of meters long! No insect, no animal period could ever get that big on the Physical Plane!”
“It could be the Incarnation of some kind of Titan,” Genevieve suggested. “But… it’s dead. I can tell that even from here. It’s dead. It’s the corpse of a dead god, and now it’s being used as a swap meet with a punny name. Either whatever killed it just abandoned it, or…”
“Or is running the place,” I finished for her. “Well, we should see if we can find Emrys.”
In an instant, the world moved around us until we were at the entrance to the Flea Market. The colossal carapace was hollow inside, of course, and had been filled with a bustling city that looked like it had been created in the most ad hoc manner possible. There wasn’t a single straight street to be seen, and they converged with one another at random intervals. Stalls and buildings varied wildly in both design and materials, all imported from a plethora of different cultures across the planes.
Enormous shards of luminous glass levitated above the throng like a thousand Swords of Damocles, any or all of them seeming capable of succumbing to gravity at any moment. In the very center of the moulted husk dangled a great spiralling chrysalis or hive woven of iridescent silk, its function not being immediately apparent to me.
There must have been thousands of people there, and hundreds of merchants hawking their wares. Most of those who looked human still seemed a little off, like they were members of ethnicities that didn’t exist in our world. Some of the beings were near-human in appearance, many seemingly some kind of Fey or Seelie folk. There was even a small handful of people that weren’t remotely human at all.
The only thing they all had in common was that none were native to this world.
“Most of these people are here in person, aren’t they?” Charlotte asked.
“It would’ve been quite a feat for them to have built all of this while astral projecting,” Genevieve agreed.
“But if this place isn’t connected to the Cuniculi, then how did they get here?” Charlotte asked. “We’re on another planet, maybe even in another dimension. If getting here is beyond the Ooo’s abilities, then what sort of ungodly reality benders decided to turn it into a Flea Market?”
“Ladies, gentlemen, and any beings either too ancient and alien or too modern and alienated to settle on one or the other, come bear witness to one of the most astounding and atrocious abominations on this or any other world!” a fast-paced male voice rang out over the din of the crowd.
We turned to see a short, skinny, old-timey sort of carnival barker standing on a literal soap box, placed next to a large object draped in a black tarp.
“For the paltry price of a single three-headed coin, you can peer beneath the veil and behold with your own unbelieving eyes the mangled and mutilated monstrosity that lurks beneath!” the carnival barker continued. “But I must warn you, it is not possible to truly understand what dwells underneath without seeing it first! I cannot guarantee that you will still retain your sanity or will to live after witnessing the proverbial Mountains of Madness, for this low creature is truly like no other and serves only as a grim testament to the cruel sadism of the Lord Above! Anyone plagued by even the faintest lingering doubt as to their spiritual fortitude should not dare to even contemplate what might lie before me! But, for those brave, noble few who are truly dauntless of heart and incorrigible of spirit, I am proud to share with you this rare, unfathomable, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to witness sublime –”
The carnival barker was interrupted by a man yanking the sheet off the object beside him, revealing it to be a mirror.
“Whelp, that was a hell of an Im14andthisisdeep post, eh?” Charlotte mused.
Genevieve and I, however, were far too stunned to be amused; not by the mirror, but by the man who had unveiled it.
“It’s him, Lottie. That’s Emrys,” Genevieve whispered.
We had only seen him briefly once before, more than two-and-a-half years ago, but he was far from what anyone would call forgettable. He was tall and gaunt, with literal blue blood flowing beneath translucent skin. His long, receding hair and regal beard were pitch black, and dark miasma wafted from his eyes, nose, and mouth. He was dressed in dark sable robes with three overlapping Ouroboros’s tattooed on his forehead, with a pair of ophidian pupils lying in the spaces between them.
What stood out the most to us were the six silver Ouroboros chains bound around his wrists, ankles, waist, and neck. These were the chains the Ophion Occult Order had made to limit the power of his physical avatar, and it seemed he had not yet found a way to free himself from them.
“Are you still here?” Emrys asked in exasperation, tossing the veil back at the carnival barker in disdain.
“…Possibly,” the strange man replied evasively. “But not definitively, for purely legalistic reasons.”
“I believe Mathom-meister was quite clear when he said that your rather pitiful chicanery wasn’t welcomed here,” Emrys reminded him.
“And who is he to judge chicanery from cutthroat, capitalistic competition? Should not the Flea Market be a free market?” the charlatan demanded. “And while we’re on the topic of commerce, I don’t suppose you have enough three-headed coins to pay for all the poor souls you have so discourteously exposed to my exhibit against their will? I’d hate to have to start shaking people down to get my due.”
“Hard to believe your own circus threw you out,” Emrys said with a sardonic eye roll as he tossed him a small medallion. “You get one coin. Take it and get out of my sight.”
The charlatan flipped the coin in the air thrice, presumably to confirm it actually had three heads. Satisfied with its impossible dimensions, he shoved it into his pocket.
“It will cover the trolley ride home, at least,” he acquiesced, stepping off his soap box and turning to face his looking glass. “A shame though you can’t see the genius in my little avant-garde performance piece here, Emmy. Even I know that the monster in the mirror is often the hardest to recognize.”
As the man reached to pick up his mirror, his reflection’s arms shot through the glass and grabbed him by the wrists, pulling him in. Emrys immediately tried to chase after him, but bounced off the glass as if there was nothing supernatural about it at all.
“Bastard!” he cursed under his breath, before turning towards us and giving us a small apologetic smile. “I’m sorry you had to see that rather pathetic display. Unfortunately, the few meeting places I know of that are relatively safe from any Ophionic incursion also attract their fair share of other annoying miscreants.”
“If it didn’t attract a little bit of everything, it wouldn’t be a Flea Market, would it?” I asked rhetorically. “Thank you, Emrys, for inviting us. I’ve never been anywhere like this before.”
“And thank you for accepting. Samantha, Genevieve, it’s a pleasure to see you again, and a relief that you have not fallen under the auspices of the Ophion Occult Order,” he said with a gentle bow. “Elam, I remember you as well. Valiant but not reckless, you remained atop Pendragon Hill during my battle with the Darlings until your mistress was well out of harm’s way, and then you got the hell out of dodge yourself. Samantha couldn’t hope for a better Familiar. And Charlotte, any Witch that Samantha deemed worthy to induct into her coven is obviously someone whose acquaintance I am pleased to make. Welcome, all of you, to Mathom-meister’s Flea Market!”
“So this is where you’ve been hiding out the past two years?” Genevieve asked.
“Oh no. Far too Cosmopolitan for my tastes,” Emrys replied. “No, this is just a friendly place to meet those I consider friends – or potential friends, at least. I’d offer to show you around, but I know it’s difficult for you to astral travel for prolonged periods. Come with me to Mathom-meister’s house where we can talk freely, and we’ll discuss the situation with the Order.”
I gave him a small, single nod in response, and gestured with my staff that he should lead the way. He responded by pointing upwards, then vanished into his shadow form. When we looked up, we saw him waving at us from a balcony atop the great silken chrysalis.
We exchanged hesitant glances with one another, but ultimately followed him into the strange structure, moving from the ground to the balcony in an instant by will alone.
“How would an incarnate being get up here if they couldn’t fly or teleport?” Charlotte asked as she peered over the balcony’s teetering edge.
As though answering a summons, a humanoid creature apparated beside her in a flash of dark vapours. The hunched-back entity stood over six-and-a-half feet tall, and was clad in golden-brown erudite robes. Its squid-like skin was of a similar colour, and its entire face was a single gaping orifice that held a wispy, glowing orb in the center of its skull which I immediately recognized as its soul. A pair of long, fanged tentacles lined with pores and tendrils hung down from its head like a long, forked beard, and the seven digits shared by its two hands all bore wicked-looking talons, as did its two-toed, digitigrade feet.
“Not fly or teleport? What sort of pedestrian house guests do you think I entertain here?” the being asked wryly, its voice seeming to come from nowhere in particular.
Charlotte instinctively backed away from the creature and into the protective fold of our coven, but Emrys was quick to hold up his hand to plead for calm.
“Please, there’s no need for alarm. This is our host, Mathom-meister. He’s the only reason any of this is here in the first place,” Emrys informed us. “A year or two ago a companion of his unfortunately became one of the Darling Twin’s victims, and when he heard of my vendetta with them, he tracked me down; which is no small feat, I assure you.”
“It is for us. My people are a race of Planeswalkers. Traversing the many worlds of Creation is second nature to us,” Mathom-meister explained.
“I’ve… I’ve heard of your people, I think,” I said, softly and unsurely. “A friend of mine had an encounter with an artifact that gave her a vision of a race of strange and powerful sorcerers slaying their own god. I take it you’re the ones who slayed this Scarab Titan as well? That’s, that’s…”
“Horrifying, yes. That’s the idea,” he nodded. “You have nothing to worry about, young Witch. My people have no special interest in your world. This is purely personal. My friend is dead, and I want his murderers brought to justice; a goal which Emrys and I happen to have in common.”
“Feel free to share this information with the Ophion Occult Order, Samantha,” Emrys said. “I’d very much like for the Darling Twins to know what’s hunting them. Mathom-meister, please excuse me while I take my guests inside. We do have pressing business to discuss and their time is limited.”
The squid-cyclopes bowed gracefully, and my coven and I quickly scurried after Emrys as he led us inside through a towering hallway and into a large chamber that had been appointed as a living space.
I had thought that Emrys would want to speak with us alone, which was why I was surprised to see a young woman sitting cross-legged on a spongey yet chitinous object that I will for the sake of my sanity call a bean bag chair. Like Emrys, she was pale and blue-blooded, her choppy hair as black as coal. She wore a black robe and heavy black eyeliner, but these could not conceal the fact that she too had thin wisps of miasma emanating from her eyes.
“Is that your… daughter?” Charlotte asked, as baffled by her presence as any of us. The woman smiled warmly at the question.
“In a way. I was dead, and Emrys gave me new life. Now a part of the Outer Primordial Darkness he represents lives in me too,” she said serenely.
Hovering above her left palm were three small bluish-green orbs, lazily going around in a circle. They were translucent and held something inside them that I couldn’t make out, but the orbs themselves appeared to be melting and solidifying by the woman’s will.
“You’re Petra, aren’t you?” I asked as I cautiously approached her. “Chamberlin had mentioned that Emrys had taken an acolyte. I’m Samantha, and this is Genevieve, Elam, and Charlotte.”
“I know. The whole reason we’re here is to speak with you,” she nodded.
“The Ophion Occult Order calls me a soul-flayer, and I’m sure you were all wondering exactly what that meant before you came here,” Emrys said, standing proudly behind his acolyte. “Well, this is it. The Darkness Beyond is now a part of her, and a part of her now lives within the Darkness Beyond. She is not unchanged from what she was before, but neither has what she was been lost.”
“My interpretation of the term ‘soul-flaying’ was the complete removal of a person’s consciousness from their astral and physical bodies to be subsumed by your Darkness,” I countered. “They told me that what you’ve done with Petra here is just the limit of your power while you’re bound in their chains. Are you telling me that if your chains were broken, you wouldn’t be able to do any worse than this?”
“On my physical avatar? No. So long as my astral form remains chained and bound with the World Serpent, I cannot cleave a conscious mind from its astral substrate,” Emrys assured me.
“But that is your ultimate goal, isn’t it? Breaking the chains the Ophion Occult Order put on you is just a stepping stone to breaking the ones the gods bound you with?” Genevieve asked. “You’ve allied yourself with a literal god slayer. Do you expect us to believe that his people’s abilities aren’t something you intend to put to your own ends?”
“I don’t have an ultimate goal so much as I have a fundamental principle of opposing tyranny,” he claimed. “When I was a mere man, thousands of years ago, I was a tyrant. I believed that might made right so unquestionably that when my might began to fail me, the only thing I could think to do was to try everything in my power to restore it. This quest eventually led to me becoming one with the Darkness Beyond, which gave me not only the might I coveted but the wisdom I didn’t know I needed. It gave me perspective. It made me stronger than any human alive at that point but still let me realize how insignificant I was. It was humbling, and enlightening, and filled me both with remorse over my past actions and an impetus to use my newfound gifts to rectify them. I tried to overthrow the gods themselves which, in hindsight, was overly ambitious. I not only failed but had my soul devoured by the World Serpent, where it still resides to this day.
“I am not eager to bring the wrath of the gods down upon me once again. No, for now, I will be content to end the tyranny of the Ophion Occult Order. This is the message I’d like you to relay to them. If the Grand Adderman agrees to unbind my chains and step down from his post, I will spare his life. If he declines, I want the rest of the Order to know that I will show mercy to any who sides with me over him. I am willing to allow the Order to exist so long as it agrees to become more decentralized, democratic, and accountable. They will have to forfeit certain artifacts and individuals in their possession over to me, chief among them the Darling Twins, but I am willing to negotiate. If they aren’t, then I will overthrow the Grand Adderman by whatever means necessary and see the Order scattered to the four winds. It is entirely up to them whether or not the conflict between us escalates to full-on war. Have I made myself clear, Samantha?”
“I think so,” I said as I pensively considered everything he had said. “Why should they trust you to keep your word once your chains are broken? For that matter, why should we?”
He took a moment to consider his response, eyeing me over as though he was trying to divine something that would win over my trust.
“Samantha, you made a pact with Persephone to get your Spirit Familiar there; one where she swore by the River Styx. Is that correct?” he asked.
“It is,” I nodded.
“And in the years since, has Persephone ever broken that pact she swore to?” he asked.
“No, she hasn’t,” I replied.
“I may not be an Old God, but so long as my astral form remains bound by their chains, they have power over me,” he said. “Samantha Sumner, Hedge Witch of Harrowick Woods, I swear on the River Styx that I have spoken no lies to you today. I swear by the River Styx that I will abide by any Covenant that I and the Ophion Occult Order agree to in good faith and fair dealing that they do not break first. I swear by the River Styx that when my chains are broken, I will give you no cause to fear me or regret your trust in me.”
I gave a questioning glance to Genevieve, and then Elam, both of whom nodded in the affirmative.
“All right. An oath sworn on the River Styx is good enough for me. I’ll deliver your terms to Seneca Chamberlin,” I agreed. “I’m very grateful for the trust and respect you’ve shown for me and my coven, Emrys, though I can’t say I quite understand it. Out of all the guests that were there on the Hallow’s Eve you were summoned, why did Evie and I stand out to you?”
“The Ophion Occult Order deemed you worthy of inclusion in their cult, an offer you rejected on principle. You cheated Persephone, but you did it not to gain immortality for yourself but to save your friend from hell. You came here, thinking I could very well tear your souls asunder, but did so because you believed it was your duty to prevent needless suffering,” Emrys answered. “You are extraordinary in your craft, courage, and conscience, the latter of which especially stood out among the degenerates at that party. I do apologize if I frightened you at that event. I was a bit… irritable, given the circumstances. I’m glad we were able to meet again under more pleasant conditions.”
“So am I, Emrys,” I nodded. “I’m not sure exactly what this means or how relevant it is, but Seneca wanted me to tell you that he’s able to offer you the Dream Demon Red Ruck as a sacrifice.”
“Pffft. Tell him it’s hardly a sacrifice if I’m getting rid of a boogie man for him,” he scoffed. “In fact, now that you mention it, Ruck’s one egregore that might be of more use to me alive.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but we were suddenly interrupted by the rapid pounding of a gong somewhere down below. It seemed to be an alarm of some kind, as we could hear the panicked shouting and frantic racing of people either battening down or forsaking the Flea Market altogether.
Mathom-meister apparated into the middle of the room, his facial tentacles reflexively raised in a defensive position.
“Were you outside the market?” he demanded of us.
“The portal we came through deposited us a few miles outside of the market, yes,” I admitted.
“Damn,” Emrys cursed softly, though he sounded more frustrated than angry. “Meister, it’s not their fault. I knew they weren’t experienced Planeswalkers, I could have – ”
“It doesn’t matter!” Mathom-meister interjected. “They need to leave, now!”
“Why, what’s going on?” Genevieve demanded.
“The scarabs are swarming,” Petra explained. “Don’t feel bad; it happens often enough that they’re prepared for it.”
I wanted to press for more details, but I could hear the humming of a vast winged swarm steadily encroaching upon us.
“Don’t worry. Once you leave the swarm will disperse… eventually,” Emrys told us. “We’ve said all that need be said for now. Return home, and I’ll reach out to you again shortly, Samantha.”
Again, I wanted to object, but the swarm outside was growing louder and louder, and it occurred to me that we might not be completely safe from a biblical swarm of insects that could not only sense but evidently sought out souls.
This occurred to Charlotte as well, as she was the first of us to vanish and awaken back in her body. We could all feel the weight of her reembodied soul tugging on us to return with her. Genevieve immediately grabbed hold of my right hand and Elam my left, both of them refusing to leave before I did.
I spared one final glance at Emrys, lamenting that we couldn’t have had more time.
“I’ll relay everything you said to the Order. I’ll make sure they know you’re willing to negotiate a truce,” I vowed.
He gave me a gracious nod, and just as we heard the swarm start to pelt the exterior of the market, I forced my physical eyes open and was back in my body, still safely under a willow tree in my cemetery.
I immediately looked beside me to Genevieve, and saw that she was awake as well, and then around me for Elam, who seemed to be suffering a bit of spectral whiplash from being pulled back with me so suddenly, but was otherwise all right. Sighing with relief, I turned lastly to Charlotte, and saw that she was looking down at the mediation circle in dreaded horror.
Following her gaze, I saw that the Undying Rose was gone – spent, perhaps, in exchange for our passage – and in its place was the inert, and hopefully dead, body of one of the shimmering scarabs.

“I’m sorry; we’re going to astral travel to a flea market?” Charlotte asked incredulously as she watched Genevieve and I set up a meditation circle under the shade of a towering old willow tree in my cemetery. “What if we want to buy something? How will we bring it back?”
“We’re not going there to shop, Lottie. Samantha’s finally had a vision about Emrys,” Genevieve explained.
The Veil between the Physical and Astral Planes is exceptionally weak in my cemetery, especially at night and on hallowed days. When I sleep there, my subconscious mind is highly receptive to all manner of revelations from the Spirit World. When I saw a Blood Moon rise on the night of May fifth, the same night as a penumbral eclipse, I knew that my dreams would be prophetic.
“I had a dream about him last Friday,” I expounded. “He’s at some sort of otherworldly marketplace, one that’s not connected to the Crypto Chthonic Cuniculi, so it’s mostly inaccessible to the Ophion Occult Order. In my dream, Emrys invited us to come and speak with him while we were lucid. He drew a sigil for me, the same one I’ve drawn in the middle of the mediation circle. He said that all I’d have to do is toss an Undying Rose – the earthly effigy of the rose Persephone used to steal a drop of his blood – into the sigil and it will become an astral portal to where he is.”
I held up the deep purple rose that I had cut from its bush earlier that day. I don’t know for certain where the roses came from, but my best guess is that they were made by the same Occultist who hallowed my cemetery to Persephone; Artaxerxes Crow. They have some connection to Emrys as well, since the only other time I saw someone else use one was when his avatar was summoned into the Physical Plane on Halloween 2020.
Knowing that Emrys wouldn’t dare to set foot in a place that was sacred to the Goddess who was ultimately responsible for his cosmic defeat, I gently tossed the rose into the middle of the sigil.
“He invited all of us?” Charlotte asked with an incredulous raising of her eyebrow.
“He said me and my coven. If he had just meant me or me and Genevieve he would have said that,” I replied. “You and Elam are coming too. I want as many eyes on this place as possible so that we don’t miss anything. We may not get an opportunity like this again.”
“And this is safe? Visiting some random flea market between worlds?” Charlotte asked.
“Samantha and I have visited the Underworld and come back no problem,” Genevieve reminded her. “So long as we’re bound to our bodies and Elam is bound to Samantha, we can come back anytime. Don’t worry; this is going to be a blast! Adventures like these are the best part of being a Witch.”
“The only reason you were able to go to the Underworld is because Samantha’s cemetery came with an astral portal in the back,” Charlotte countered, gesticulating in the general direction of the archway that was still partially visible behind the light spring foliage. “Other than that, when have any of us ever done anything useful with our astral projection? This is still a physical place, right? We don’t have any of our physical senses available to us when we astral project, and I get extremely disoriented trying to navigate the mortal plane with clairvoyance alone.”
“It is a physical place, but one saturated with astral energy and full of occultists and occult artifacts. It will be extremely illuminated to our clairvoyance,” I assured her. “Elam will also be there to guide us. As a ghost, he’s much more practiced at traversing the mortal plane in an astral form.”
Charlotte folded her arms over her chest and turned to look at Elam, who was leaning up against the willow tree as he waited for us.
“I don’t suppose you could go and scout the place out for us ahead of time?” she asked.
“I can’t go too far from Samantha, and definitely not across planes,” he said with a shake of his head. “But Eve’s right. Your astral bodies will be in no danger, and you can return here in an instant whenever you want.”
“But what about Emrys? Didn’t that book Leon gave you say that he’s some sort of soul-flayer?” Charlotte asked me.
“It did,” I admitted. “Keep in mind though, that book was written by his enemies. I want to hear his side of things before this conflict of theirs spirals out of control.”
“Any update from Chamberlin about that?” Elam asked.
“Yeah, he said that after he failed to purify the Sigil Sand, Ivy’s onboard with negotiating some kind of truce with Emrys,” I replied. “The Grand Adderman’s still reticent, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s running out of options. I need to find out if Emrys will agree to peace talks.”
“Um, I get that, but I’m still kind of hung up on him potentially flaying our souls,” Charlotte reiterated.
“If Emrys and the Ophion Occult Order go to all-out war, there’ll be a lot of collateral damage and innocent souls caught in the crossfire,” Genevieve told her, gently grabbing hold of her and looking her straight in the eye. “Samantha, Elam, and I are doing this because if there’s any chance we can put an end to this before it starts, then it’s our responsibility to try. You don’t have to come with us, Lottie, but you’re still a member of our coven. Samantha and I would both feel a lot better with you there to help us.”
“Arghhh! All right, fine! I’ll come with you,” Charlotte gave in, plopping her butt down on the edge of the meditation circle. “If we’re holding hands, that will help keep our astral bodies together too, right?”
“I believe it should, yes,” I smiled at her, sitting down and reaching out for her hand.
Genevieve lit the incense and her bong filled with the entheogenic Delphi Dream, before sitting down to join us. She took a hit from the bong before passing it to me, and then to Charlotte before setting it aside out of the circle.
“Start with taking a deep breath, completely filling the lungs, and holding it for five heartbeats,” she guided us as she took hold of each of our hands. “Exhale completely, and wait five more heartbeats before breathing in again. Eyes closed, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Focus on the astral energies flowing through you with each breath, gently aligning each chakra until those energies are enough to lift you up and out of your body.”
In unison with one another, the three of us slowly breathed in and out, ignoring the material world around us and focusing upon the task at hand. Eve was first, as usual, and because we were all holding hands, Charlotte and I felt her eagerly tugging us up to speed us along.
I opened my eyes, and beheld the dull and muted Physical Plane through my clairvoyance, everything outshined by the radiant forms of my coven mates. I noted that Genevieve had eschewed her normal skyclad form when astral projecting and instead wore a cloak like Charlotte and I.
“Are you worried this place might have a no shirt, no shoes, no souls, no service policy?” I teased her.
“I just don’t want to risk a confrontation over it. I realize how important this is,” she answered. “Though I’m not actually wearing shoes, now that you mention it.”
“Christ, look at the sigil Samantha drew!” Charlotte said, pointing down at the meditation circle beneath us. The sigil wasn’t just glowing but flowing as well, churning the Aether around it in a misty, spectral vortex. “It’s an astral portal, isn’t it?”
“Oh yeah. It’s not stable, though. Good for one trip only,” Genevieve said with a delighted smile. “And Lottie, since we’re Neopagan Witches, try not to swear by Christ, okay?”
“Jesus!” she swore, both in defiance and in genuine annoyance.
“Elam! Elam, come join the circle! I don’t want to take any chances of severing our bond,” I instructed, letting go of Charlotte’s hand and waving him in between us.
Faithful Familiar that he was, he obeyed without hesitation. Despite my concerns, I think that he probably could have stayed behind if he had wanted. The fact that he was willing to follow me to an unknown otherworld without complaint really made me appreciate how devoted he was to me.
“We step in together on the count of three, got it?” I instructed, each of them nodding clearly in response. “One. Two. Three!”
We all extended our right feet into the vortex together, and the instant we did we were swept away, falling out of our own world and tumbling between the cracks of countless others. They weren’t real, I don’t think. At least, not as real as our world. They were potential realities, or realities that could have been once but now can never be, or fantasies that are so persistent in the minds of real people that in some sense or another, they become real themselves. I only saw glimmers of them, glimmers in nebulas made of primeval chaos and uttermost void.
It was outside of time, that place we travelled through, or at least we had no sense of it there. Our souls were haphazardly spat out upon a surreal landscape of earth, sea, and fire. Hilly plains of volcanic ash, incandescent calderas of lava and bubbling hot springs all intermeshed in a chaotic mosaic that didn’t seem to abide by any laws of geology or geography that I was familiar with. A strong but slow wind pushed fractal formations of dark silver clouds through a pale silver sky, illuminated by a single white orb which could have been either a bright moon or a faint sun.
While our spectral feet left no trace upon the ash we now stood upon, our presence nonetheless elicited a response from some of the local fauna. We were just able to catch a glimpse of some kind of shimmering scarabs burrowing themselves into the ash to escape the four otherworldly ghosts that had invaded their territory.
“Holy shit,” Charlotte murmured as we all gazed out upon the strange world we had found ourselves on. “This really isn’t on the Astral Plane. This is a real planet. This a real, alien planet! This is unbelievable!”
Genevieve glided over to one of the bubbling pools and peered into it, looking for any more signs of life.
“There’s some kind of bluish-grey algae growing on the rocks down there, and I think I can make out some small arthropods too. This planet’s alive!” she announced with glee, smiling and looking up at the alien sky.
Conjuring an astral approximation of my staff, I plunged it into a small mound of ash beside me. I watched curiously as the scarabs shot out in all directions, moving too quickly for me to get a good look at them, before scurrying back into the surrounding ash.
“These bugs can sense our presence,” I remarked. “How and why would clairvoyance evolve in insects on this world, and why would their first instinct be to flee?”
“Samantha!” Elam called out. “I think I found the Flea Market.”
We all gathered around him and looked where he was pointing. On a distant dune, we beheld the moulted carapace of a colossal insect, gleaming a brilliant, lustrous gold in the broken white light.
“That’s impossible!” Charlotte claimed. “That thing must be hundreds of meters long! No insect, no animal period could ever get that big on the Physical Plane!”
“It could be the Incarnation of some kind of Titan,” Genevieve suggested. “But… it’s dead. I can tell that even from here. It’s dead. It’s the corpse of a dead god, and now it’s being used as a swap meet with a punny name. Either whatever killed it just abandoned it, or…”
“Or is running the place,” I finished for her. “Well, we should see if we can find Emrys.”
In an instant, the world moved around us until we were at the entrance to the Flea Market. The colossal carapace was hollow inside, of course, and had been filled with a bustling city that looked like it had been created in the most ad hoc manner possible. There wasn’t a single straight street to be seen, and they converged with one another at random intervals. Stalls and buildings varied wildly in both design and materials, all imported from a plethora of different cultures across the planes.
Enormous shards of luminous glass levitated above the throng like a thousand Swords of Damocles, any or all of them seeming capable of succumbing to gravity at any moment. In the very center of the moulted husk dangled a great spiralling chrysalis or hive woven of iridescent silk, its function not being immediately apparent to me.
There must have been thousands of people there, and hundreds of merchants hawking their wares. Most of those who looked human still seemed a little off, like they were members of ethnicities that didn’t exist in our world. Some of the beings were near-human in appearance, many seemingly some kind of Fey or Seelie folk. There was even a small handful of people that weren’t remotely human at all.
The only thing they all had in common was that none were native to this world.
“Most of these people are here in person, aren’t they?” Charlotte asked.
“It would’ve been quite a feat for them to have built all of this while astral projecting,” Genevieve agreed.
“But if this place isn’t connected to the Cuniculi, then how did they get here?” Charlotte asked. “We’re on another planet, maybe even in another dimension. If getting here is beyond the Ooo’s abilities, then what sort of ungodly reality benders decided to turn it into a Flea Market?”
“Ladies, gentlemen, and any beings either too ancient and alien or too modern and alienated to settle on one or the other, come bear witness to one of the most astounding and atrocious abominations on this or any other world!” a fast-paced male voice rang out over the din of the crowd.
We turned to see a short, skinny, old-timey sort of carnival barker standing on a literal soap box, placed next to a large object draped in a black tarp.
“For the paltry price of a single three-headed coin, you can peer beneath the veil and behold with your own unbelieving eyes the mangled and mutilated monstrosity that lurks beneath!” the carnival barker continued. “But I must warn you, it is not possible to truly understand what dwells underneath without seeing it first! I cannot guarantee that you will still retain your sanity or will to live after witnessing the proverbial Mountains of Madness, for this low creature is truly like no other and serves only as a grim testament to the cruel sadism of the Lord Above! Anyone plagued by even the faintest lingering doubt as to their spiritual fortitude should not dare to even contemplate what might lie before me! But, for those brave, noble few who are truly dauntless of heart and incorrigible of spirit, I am proud to share with you this rare, unfathomable, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to witness sublime –”
The carnival barker was interrupted by a man yanking the sheet off the object beside him, revealing it to be a mirror.
“Whelp, that was a hell of an Im14andthisisdeep post, eh?” Charlotte mused.
Genevieve and I, however, were far too stunned to be amused; not by the mirror, but by the man who had unveiled it.
“It’s him, Lottie. That’s Emrys,” Genevieve whispered.
We had only seen him briefly once before, more than two-and-a-half years ago, but he was far from what anyone would call forgettable. He was tall and gaunt, with literal blue blood flowing beneath translucent skin. His long, receding hair and regal beard were pitch black, and dark miasma wafted from his eyes, nose, and mouth. He was dressed in dark sable robes with three overlapping Ouroboros’s tattooed on his forehead, with a pair of ophidian pupils lying in the spaces between them.
What stood out the most to us were the six silver Ouroboros chains bound around his wrists, ankles, waist, and neck. These were the chains the Ophion Occult Order had made to limit the power of his physical avatar, and it seemed he had not yet found a way to free himself from them.
“Are you still here?” Emrys asked in exasperation, tossing the veil back at the carnival barker in disdain.
“…Possibly,” the strange man replied evasively. “But not definitively, for purely legalistic reasons.”
“I believe Mathom-meister was quite clear when he said that your rather pitiful chicanery wasn’t welcomed here,” Emrys reminded him.
“And who is he to judge chicanery from cutthroat, capitalistic competition? Should not the Flea Market be a free market?” the charlatan demanded. “And while we’re on the topic of commerce, I don’t suppose you have enough three-headed coins to pay for all the poor souls you have so discourteously exposed to my exhibit against their will? I’d hate to have to start shaking people down to get my due.”
“Hard to believe your own circus threw you out,” Emrys said with a sardonic eye roll as he tossed him a small medallion. “You get one coin. Take it and get out of my sight.”
The charlatan flipped the coin in the air thrice, presumably to confirm it actually had three heads. Satisfied with its impossible dimensions, he shoved it into his pocket.
“It will cover the trolley ride home, at least,” he acquiesced, stepping off his soap box and turning to face his looking glass. “A shame though you can’t see the genius in my little avant-garde performance piece here, Emmy. Even I know that the monster in the mirror is often the hardest to recognize.”
As the man reached to pick up his mirror, his reflection’s arms shot through the glass and grabbed him by the wrists, pulling him in. Emrys immediately tried to chase after him, but bounced off the glass as if there was nothing supernatural about it at all.
“Bastard!” he cursed under his breath, before turning towards us and giving us a small apologetic smile. “I’m sorry you had to see that rather pathetic display. Unfortunately, the few meeting places I know of that are relatively safe from any Ophionic incursion also attract their fair share of other annoying miscreants.”
“If it didn’t attract a little bit of everything, it wouldn’t be a Flea Market, would it?” I asked rhetorically. “Thank you, Emrys, for inviting us. I’ve never been anywhere like this before.”
“And thank you for accepting. Samantha, Genevieve, it’s a pleasure to see you again, and a relief that you have not fallen under the auspices of the Ophion Occult Order,” he said with a gentle bow. “Elam, I remember you as well. Valiant but not reckless, you remained atop Pendragon Hill during my battle with the Darlings until your mistress was well out of harm’s way, and then you got the hell out of dodge yourself. Samantha couldn’t hope for a better Familiar. And Charlotte, any Witch that Samantha deemed worthy to induct into her coven is obviously someone whose acquaintance I am pleased to make. Welcome, all of you, to Mathom-meister’s Flea Market!”
“So this is where you’ve been hiding out the past two years?” Genevieve asked.
“Oh no. Far too Cosmopolitan for my tastes,” Emrys replied. “No, this is just a friendly place to meet those I consider friends – or potential friends, at least. I’d offer to show you around, but I know it’s difficult for you to astral travel for prolonged periods. Come with me to Mathom-meister’s house where we can talk freely, and we’ll discuss the situation with the Order.”
I gave him a small, single nod in response, and gestured with my staff that he should lead the way. He responded by pointing upwards, then vanished into his shadow form. When we looked up, we saw him waving at us from a balcony atop the great silken chrysalis.
We exchanged hesitant glances with one another, but ultimately followed him into the strange structure, moving from the ground to the balcony in an instant by will alone.
“How would an incarnate being get up here if they couldn’t fly or teleport?” Charlotte asked as she peered over the balcony’s teetering edge.
As though answering a summons, a humanoid creature apparated beside her in a flash of dark vapours. The hunched-back entity stood over six-and-a-half feet tall, and was clad in golden-brown erudite robes. Its squid-like skin was of a similar colour, and its entire face was a single gaping orifice that held a wispy, glowing orb in the center of its skull which I immediately recognized as its soul. A pair of long, fanged tentacles lined with pores and tendrils hung down from its head like a long, forked beard, and the seven digits shared by its two hands all bore wicked-looking talons, as did its two-toed, digitigrade feet.
“Not fly or teleport? What sort of pedestrian house guests do you think I entertain here?” the being asked wryly, its voice seeming to come from nowhere in particular.
Charlotte instinctively backed away from the creature and into the protective fold of our coven, but Emrys was quick to hold up his hand to plead for calm.
“Please, there’s no need for alarm. This is our host, Mathom-meister. He’s the only reason any of this is here in the first place,” Emrys informed us. “A year or two ago a companion of his unfortunately became one of the Darling Twin’s victims, and when he heard of my vendetta with them, he tracked me down; which is no small feat, I assure you.”
“It is for us. My people are a race of Planeswalkers. Traversing the many worlds of Creation is second nature to us,” Mathom-meister explained.
“I’ve… I’ve heard of your people, I think,” I said, softly and unsurely. “A friend of mine had an encounter with an artifact that gave her a vision of a race of strange and powerful sorcerers slaying their own god. I take it you’re the ones who slayed this Scarab Titan as well? That’s, that’s…”
“Horrifying, yes. That’s the idea,” he nodded. “You have nothing to worry about, young Witch. My people have no special interest in your world. This is purely personal. My friend is dead, and I want his murderers brought to justice; a goal which Emrys and I happen to have in common.”
“Feel free to share this information with the Ophion Occult Order, Samantha,” Emrys said. “I’d very much like for the Darling Twins to know what’s hunting them. Mathom-meister, please excuse me while I take my guests inside. We do have pressing business to discuss and their time is limited.”
The squid-cyclopes bowed gracefully, and my coven and I quickly scurried after Emrys as he led us inside through a towering hallway and into a large chamber that had been appointed as a living space.
I had thought that Emrys would want to speak with us alone, which was why I was surprised to see a young woman sitting cross-legged on a spongey yet chitinous object that I will for the sake of my sanity call a bean bag chair. Like Emrys, she was pale and blue-blooded, her choppy hair as black as coal. She wore a black robe and heavy black eyeliner, but these could not conceal the fact that she too had thin wisps of miasma emanating from her eyes.
“Is that your… daughter?” Charlotte asked, as baffled by her presence as any of us. The woman smiled warmly at the question.
“In a way. I was dead, and Emrys gave me new life. Now a part of the Outer Primordial Darkness he represents lives in me too,” she said serenely.
Hovering above her left palm were three small bluish-green orbs, lazily going around in a circle. They were translucent and held something inside them that I couldn’t make out, but the orbs themselves appeared to be melting and solidifying by the woman’s will.
“You’re Petra, aren’t you?” I asked as I cautiously approached her. “Chamberlin had mentioned that Emrys had taken an acolyte. I’m Samantha, and this is Genevieve, Elam, and Charlotte.”
“I know. The whole reason we’re here is to speak with you,” she nodded.
“The Ophion Occult Order calls me a soul-flayer, and I’m sure you were all wondering exactly what that meant before you came here,” Emrys said, standing proudly behind his acolyte. “Well, this is it. The Darkness Beyond is now a part of her, and a part of her now lives within the Darkness Beyond. She is not unchanged from what she was before, but neither has what she was been lost.”
“My interpretation of the term ‘soul-flaying’ was the complete removal of a person’s consciousness from their astral and physical bodies to be subsumed by your Darkness,” I countered. “They told me that what you’ve done with Petra here is just the limit of your power while you’re bound in their chains. Are you telling me that if your chains were broken, you wouldn’t be able to do any worse than this?”
“On my physical avatar? No. So long as my astral form remains chained and bound with the World Serpent, I cannot cleave a conscious mind from its astral substrate,” Emrys assured me.
“But that is your ultimate goal, isn’t it? Breaking the chains the Ophion Occult Order put on you is just a stepping stone to breaking the ones the gods bound you with?” Genevieve asked. “You’ve allied yourself with a literal god slayer. Do you expect us to believe that his people’s abilities aren’t something you intend to put to your own ends?”
“I don’t have an ultimate goal so much as I have a fundamental principle of opposing tyranny,” he claimed. “When I was a mere man, thousands of years ago, I was a tyrant. I believed that might made right so unquestionably that when my might began to fail me, the only thing I could think to do was to try everything in my power to restore it. This quest eventually led to me becoming one with the Darkness Beyond, which gave me not only the might I coveted but the wisdom I didn’t know I needed. It gave me perspective. It made me stronger than any human alive at that point but still let me realize how insignificant I was. It was humbling, and enlightening, and filled me both with remorse over my past actions and an impetus to use my newfound gifts to rectify them. I tried to overthrow the gods themselves which, in hindsight, was overly ambitious. I not only failed but had my soul devoured by the World Serpent, where it still resides to this day.
“I am not eager to bring the wrath of the gods down upon me once again. No, for now, I will be content to end the tyranny of the Ophion Occult Order. This is the message I’d like you to relay to them. If the Grand Adderman agrees to unbind my chains and step down from his post, I will spare his life. If he declines, I want the rest of the Order to know that I will show mercy to any who sides with me over him. I am willing to allow the Order to exist so long as it agrees to become more decentralized, democratic, and accountable. They will have to forfeit certain artifacts and individuals in their possession over to me, chief among them the Darling Twins, but I am willing to negotiate. If they aren’t, then I will overthrow the Grand Adderman by whatever means necessary and see the Order scattered to the four winds. It is entirely up to them whether or not the conflict between us escalates to full-on war. Have I made myself clear, Samantha?”
“I think so,” I said as I pensively considered everything he had said. “Why should they trust you to keep your word once your chains are broken? For that matter, why should we?”
He took a moment to consider his response, eyeing me over as though he was trying to divine something that would win over my trust.
“Samantha, you made a pact with Persephone to get your Spirit Familiar there; one where she swore by the River Styx. Is that correct?” he asked.
“It is,” I nodded.
“And in the years since, has Persephone ever broken that pact she swore to?” he asked.
“No, she hasn’t,” I replied.
“I may not be an Old God, but so long as my astral form remains bound by their chains, they have power over me,” he said. “Samantha Sumner, Hedge Witch of Harrowick Woods, I swear on the River Styx that I have spoken no lies to you today. I swear by the River Styx that I will abide by any Covenant that I and the Ophion Occult Order agree to in good faith and fair dealing that they do not break first. I swear by the River Styx that when my chains are broken, I will give you no cause to fear me or regret your trust in me.”
I gave a questioning glance to Genevieve, and then Elam, both of whom nodded in the affirmative.
“All right. An oath sworn on the River Styx is good enough for me. I’ll deliver your terms to Seneca Chamberlin,” I agreed. “I’m very grateful for the trust and respect you’ve shown for me and my coven, Emrys, though I can’t say I quite understand it. Out of all the guests that were there on the Hallow’s Eve you were summoned, why did Evie and I stand out to you?”
“The Ophion Occult Order deemed you worthy of inclusion in their cult, an offer you rejected on principle. You cheated Persephone, but you did it not to gain immortality for yourself but to save your friend from hell. You came here, thinking I could very well tear your souls asunder, but did so because you believed it was your duty to prevent needless suffering,” Emrys answered. “You are extraordinary in your craft, courage, and conscience, the latter of which especially stood out among the degenerates at that party. I do apologize if I frightened you at that event. I was a bit… irritable, given the circumstances. I’m glad we were able to meet again under more pleasant conditions.”
“So am I, Emrys,” I nodded. “I’m not sure exactly what this means or how relevant it is, but Seneca wanted me to tell you that he’s able to offer you the Dream Demon Red Ruck as a sacrifice.”
“Pffft. Tell him it’s hardly a sacrifice if I’m getting rid of a boogie man for him,” he scoffed. “In fact, now that you mention it, Ruck’s one egregore that might be of more use to me alive.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but we were suddenly interrupted by the rapid pounding of a gong somewhere down below. It seemed to be an alarm of some kind, as we could hear the panicked shouting and frantic racing of people either battening down or forsaking the Flea Market altogether.
Mathom-meister apparated into the middle of the room, his facial tentacles reflexively raised in a defensive position.
“Were you outside the market?” he demanded of us.
“The portal we came through deposited us a few miles outside of the market, yes,” I admitted.
“Damn,” Emrys cursed softly, though he sounded more frustrated than angry. “Meister, it’s not their fault. I knew they weren’t experienced Planeswalkers, I could have – ”
“It doesn’t matter!” Mathom-meister interjected. “They need to leave, now!”
“Why, what’s going on?” Genevieve demanded.
“The scarabs are swarming,” Petra explained. “Don’t feel bad; it happens often enough that they’re prepared for it.”
I wanted to press for more details, but I could hear the humming of a vast winged swarm steadily encroaching upon us.
“Don’t worry. Once you leave the swarm will disperse… eventually,” Emrys told us. “We’ve said all that need be said for now. Return home, and I’ll reach out to you again shortly, Samantha.”
Again, I wanted to object, but the swarm outside was growing louder and louder, and it occurred to me that we might not be completely safe from a biblical swarm of insects that could not only sense but evidently sought out souls.
This occurred to Charlotte as well, as she was the first of us to vanish and awaken back in her body. We could all feel the weight of her reembodied soul tugging on us to return with her. Genevieve immediately grabbed hold of my right hand and Elam my left, both of them refusing to leave before I did.
I spared one final glance at Emrys, lamenting that we couldn’t have had more time.
“I’ll relay everything you said to the Order. I’ll make sure they know you’re willing to negotiate a truce,” I vowed.
He gave me a gracious nod, and just as we heard the swarm start to pelt the exterior of the market, I forced my physical eyes open and was back in my body, still safely under a willow tree in my cemetery.
I immediately looked beside me to Genevieve, and saw that she was awake as well, and then around me for Elam, who seemed to be suffering a bit of spectral whiplash from being pulled back with me so suddenly, but was otherwise all right. Sighing with relief, I turned lastly to Charlotte, and saw that she was looking down at the mediation circle in dreaded horror.
Following her gaze, I saw that the Undying Rose was gone – spent, perhaps, in exchange for our passage – and in its place was the inert, and hopefully dead, body of one of the shimmering scarabs.

Hey guys! Huge list of games for sale here. Everything is in Canadian dollar and open for offers :) Also will be posting a list of boxed N64 games, boxed NES and Boxed SNES. Also have about over 100 SNES games to sell and 300+ NES games to sell. Here is a peak into my GAMEYE with prices so maybe something will catch your eyes.
https://cdn.fbsbx.com/v/t59.2708-21/349299326_254232103859663_8929733025346908515_n.csv/6_2_2023_ge_collection.csv?_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=0cab14&_nc_ohc=K6bCAJXfb6AAX8F0sqL&_nc_ht=cdn.fbsbx.com&oh=03_AdT4u4W-pH7KXgtmMKf2yjXiPOJ0c7CEy0hkErvB2Kc32A&oe=64865377&dl=1
PS1:
The Legend of Dragoon (greatest hits) $56
Final Fantasy VIII $27
Final Fantasy VII $64
Final Fantasy Tactics $58
Gran Turismo $16
Looney Tunes racing $24
007 Tomorrow never dies $9
007 the world is not enough $12
Saltwater sport fishing $7
Monopoly $7
Planet of the apes $11
Cool boarders 2 (greatest hits) $7
Crash bandicoot (greatest hits) $20
Crash bandicoot Warped $18
Crash bandicoot 2 cortex strikes back $18
Riven the sequel to myst $20
Ninja shadow of darkness $30
Tomb raider collectors edition $92
Pitfall 3D beyond the jungle $12
Family card games fun pack $5
Strategy guides:
Official Riven the sequel to Myst tips and secrets $18
Official Pitfall 3D beyond the jungle strategy guide $6
PSM 1999 NO.20 $12
Official Final Fantasy VIII strategy guide $34
Primas official Final Fantasy Tactics strategy guide (small tear on the side) $29
Final Fantasy X-2 strategy guide $14
Primas Crash Bandicoot Warped official strategy guide $12
DS/3DS:
Pokémon soulsilver Big Box $350
Pokémon heartgold big box $425
Pokémon sun $30 (no manual)
Pokémon moon $30 (no manual)
Pokémon Y $55
Pokémon soul silver $200
Final fantasy IV $45
Final fantasy tactics A2 $35 (just case and manual only)
Monster racer $120
Pokémon mystery dungeon explore of time $40
Pokémon white version 2 $90 (manual and box)
Pokémon pearl $85
Pokémon Diamond $40 (manual and box)
Pokémon black $120
Pokémon black $55 (manual and box)
Pokémon ranger $25 (manual and box)
Pokémon heart gold $90 (manual and box)
Fire emblem fates birthright $80 (no manual)
Metroid Samus returns $50 (no manual)
Resident evil the mercenaries 3D $34
Fire emblem awakening $75
Lord of the rings Lego $10
Dragon quest IX $76
Super Mario 64 $30
New super Mario bros $30
Mario kart DS $25
Final fantasy IV $45
Legendary starfry $30
Harvest moon Cute $50
Super Mario 3D land $20
Mario kart 7 $15
Tom Clancy Shadow war $20
Beyblade evolution $10
Sega Dreamcast
Soul calibur $50
Shenmue limited edition $75(missing one of the special disks and some cracks on the case. All 3 disks to play the game are still there)
Resident evil code Veronica $56
Grandia II $73
Tony hawk pro skater $21
Spider-Man $104
Timestalkers $43
Skies of Arcadia $170
Sonic adventures $63
Sonic adventures 2 $148
Virtua Tennis $15
Gamecube
Mega man network transmission $50
The legend of Zelda collectors edition $95
Final fantasy Crystal chronicles $15
Mario kart double dash $105
The legend of Zelda four swords $40 (case and manual only)
Luigi’s mansion $60 (loose disk)
Super smash bros Melee $85
Resident evil 4 $45

Part 19 Like Angels Falling from the Heavens (Part 1) (Part 18)
​
"Dropping in 3… 2… 1. Mission initiated." A synthetic voice read the words off of Tensebwse's HUD and his vision was suddenly filled with the familiar sight of metal and polymer panels rushing past him. “Target ETA, 8 minutes.”
​
“Alright, ladies!” Tens shouted into his comms-link to the Qui’ztar warriors who were about to experience why the Hell Divers had that name. “Hold on tight! When those retro-thrusters kick, they kick hard!”
​
"Hold on to what?" The deep yet feminine that called back was equal parts excited and nervous, and even held hints of sarcasm.
​
"Consciousness." Tens chuckled as he felt himself slowly being pushed towards the planets below.
​
Despite not feeling too much pressure himself, the Nishnabe warrior was keeping a close eye on both his own acceleration gauge as well as the reads out from his trainees. With his suit and control-AI acting as the central node of the networked machines, he had immediate access to the external and internal sensors of every mech he was in formation with. And, like a good pack leader, Ten wasn't at the front of the group, charging ahead, and possibly going beyond the physical limits of the Qui’ztar warrior women. Rather, he was at the back of the formation, letting the first-time jumpers set a pace they could endure, and watching for signs of overexertion. Even though each woman was nearing the absolute peak of their athletic abilities, the strain they were about to feel would be unlike anything they had ever experienced.
​
"This isn't that bad." It was Hutloxa who made the remark while sounding a bit too confident.
​
"We're still on the insertion-burn!" Tens fully laughed into the comms. "Verify trajectory and shield integrity, ladies. It's now or never!"
​
"Drop zone marked, call out when verified!" Captain Marzima's commanding tone was that of an ardent professional as she knew her commanding officer was watching them carefully.
​
"Drop Mech 1, confirmed!" A cacophony of voices began calling out in sequence until completing at number 19.
​
"All units confirmed, Lieutenant!" Marz was doing her job with the precision of a trained expert.
​
"Excellent, Captain!" Though the praise wasn’t necessary, Tens was starting to get excited as he saw the timer for the retro-thrusters slowly counting down. It had been months since his last time falling into hell and he missed the adrenaline rush. “Remember ladies, you need to keep breathing. If you stop breathing you will pass out. The mechs can and will land on their own if they need to but I need you to stay with me for the whole drop. Do you understand me?!?”
​
“Sir, yes, sir!” All 20 voices shouted back through the comms in perfect synchronization.
​
Tens could feel as his heart rate picked up in anticipation as his mind became perfectly clear. Only a few hundred meters below him he could clearly see the highlighted outlines of each of the mechanized walkers he was following towards the ground below. Judging by the angle of their approach, the direction of the planet's rotation, and current placement of the day-night terminator line, they would be hitting their drop zone just as the sun would begin to rise. Though that wasn’t necessarily the intention when planning out this training drop onto the Kyim'ayik’s new colony world, the Nishnabe warrior was looking forward to seeing the sunrise on a new planet. As he watched his countdown time slowly inch closer and closer to the fun part, he hoped that even if some of the women got sick, they would enjoy falling into hell and then being greeted by the morning sun.
​
“Remember what I said, just keep breath-” Tens almost had his own breath knocked out of lungs as his retro-thrusters began to fire. With a glee none of the women were expecting to hear as they were all rocked by the same forces, the young Nishnabe warrior let out a call of unbridled excitement. “Eeee!”
​
"What! The! Fuck!" One if the women shouted into the comms though, through the strain, it wasn't clear who.
​
"You got this!" Tens was able to get out in a surprisingly clear tone. "We're only just over 30 m/s2. This isn't even an emergency drop!"
​
"Come ladies!" Marz's voice, despite the pressure on her body, was just as strong and confident as it was at the very beginning. "You're deathworlders! You're Qui'ztar! You will endure!"
​
"You'll build up a tolerance with more drops." Tens added, his ear to ear grin audible as he tried to keep the women going. "Sound off! I need to hear you're still with me!"
​
"Drop… ugh! Drop mech 1! Still breathing!" The first women called out through labored breaths.
​
"Drop Mech 2! This is great!" The next voice, in stark contrast to the first, sounded like she was having the time of her life.
​
In sequence, each of the women called out their number and condition, some showing intense strain and others were clearing having a grand time. It didn't matter to Tens if some of them would need more training, or may not even be cut out for these kinds of missions in the future. The only thing the man cared about at this moment was making sure that they all landed safely. Though it only took a few seconds for each woman to signal they were still conscious and aware, and one a second or two between each one speaking, they were burning through the counter down timer just as quickly as they were beginning to burn through the upper atmosphere of the planet below them. Just before Tens's view of the deep blue oceans beneath him were obscured by the building ball of fire and the blue shimmering from his active shielding, a quaint chain of islands caught his eye. When Captain Marzima finally confirmed that she too was still conscious and able to maintain her professional demeanor, the countdown showed less than six minutes until they touched down.
​
Like angels of fury falling from the heavens, the 21 mechanized combat walker suits tore their way through the building layers of atmosphere, reentry plasma building with each passing moment. The preprogrammed descent path, having been calculated long in advance, coupled with the lack of incoming fire from the ground to ensured the group of first time jumpers and their experienced instructor had no need for evasive actions. In front of them was a clean and clear route, save for a few sparse clouds, which would see them land directly at the chosen site for the new Kyim'ayik colony. Even though something in the back of the man's mind was telling him not to trust the Arnehilians on the planet below, the idea that even the gray demons who had stolen his ancestors from their home weren't all evil warmed his soul. As the formation of mechs came closer and closer to their target, continuing their dramatic descent as if they were an unstoppable force sent by the Gods, the coastal clearing they were heading towards was highlighted by their HUDs.
​
"By the Matria- oof!" One of the women called out with a mixture of giggling and exhaustion. "It doesn't let up!"
​
"Just a couple more minutes!" Tens couldn't help the fact his volume was raised. None of them could. All he could do was shout words of encouragement to spur on the few who were still having trouble acclimating to the strain. "I know you're strong! I know you’re capable! Just keep breathing and you'll be the first Qui’ztar to see a sunrise over the shores of new colony world!"
​
"Yac'tloma! Chuiom! Are you still with me?!?" Marz's slightly more intense yell caused Tens to trigger the cockpit-view of both of the pilots who got called out.
​
"Yes, Captain!" Yac responded almost instantly and with a surprising amount of strength. "I think… mmm… I'm finally getting used to it."
​
"Chuiom!" Marzima shouted again just as a hologram of the Qui’ztar in question popped up on Tens's HUD.
​
"I'll wake her up." Tens chuckled as he sent a signal to Chu's mech to give her some mild stimulation.
​
"Fucker!" The woman was instantly awake and Tens could see through the holographic display that she wasn't happy. "Did someone just shock me?"
​
"No napping till after the debrief!" Tens retorted. "Your vitals are fine and we only got a minute or so left. Keep breathing and stay with me!"
​
Various readouts across Tens’s HUD were running through numbers faster than the holographic display could refresh. From altitude to effective airspeed, the Nishnabe warrior could see that everything was going perfectly and, despite some of his trainees showing signs of serious exhaustion, he was about as happy as he could be at that moment. Though one of the women did stop breathing for just a moment too long, and needed a bit of prodding to wake back up, the health data the man was cycling through indicated everyone seemed fine, no bones had been broken, and the strain hadn’t caused any unforeseen injuries. Regardless of how strong and capable he knew all of these women to be, and the fact that inertial dampers were reducing the felt forces to about a third of what they should be, each of these Qui’ztar deserved to relax after this. With only a few thousand meters per second of relative velocity left to burn off, and the retro-thrusters maintaining a cool 80 meters per second squared of deceleration, they would all get their moment of peace very soon.
​
“Is that the Arnehilian settlement?” Hutloxa’s voice cut in through the comms. “It looks really small.”
​
“Yeup, looks like.” Tens answered while bringing the relevant data up on his HUD. “Just a couple bigger buildings that look like greenhouses, some smaller ones that look like civilian structures, and really simple solar heating and wind energy systems.”
​
“My systems are telling me there aren’t any defensive systems.” Another of the warrior women added with hints of both confusion and doubt in her voice. “I’ve never seen Grays without some kind of weapons.”
​
“Remember the brief!” Marz shouted into the brief. “These aren’t Grays, they’re Greens. They’re entirely peaceful and they only have a few personal defense weapons that would barely break our skin.”
​
“I don’t -ugh-” It sounded like Chu was still struggling with the pressure she was under but was beginning to cope. “I don’t like this. Feels like a trap.”
​
“Their Mayor said he’s tried to keep his people clear of us.” Despite having more reservation about this situation than he cared to admit, Tens almost hoped he would have the opportunity to meet one of these supposedly peaceful Arnehilians. “But we’ll find out if he actually did it. According to the Admiral, the guy is a total softy and doesn’t like telling people what to do.”
​
“The ground is coming up fast!” One of the women nervously shouted as Tens noticed his relative velocity gauge showed the mach cones surrounding the mechs were about to dissipate and they would be on the ground in the next few seconds.
​
“Congratulations, ladies!” Tens shouted in reply as he saw the first mech halt its descent less than a meter off the ground before its massive metal feet could impact the soil. One by one each of the mech stopped just before impact and gently set themselves on to the surface of the planet. “That was your first trip into hell and I hope you enjoyed it!”
​
There was a chorus of cheers, sighs of relief, and what even sounded like a few tears as 19 of the 20 warrior women began to celebrate their accomplishment. As each of the mechanized walkers shed their re-entry assistance systems, the durable and combat tested thrusters impacted the ground in a series of dull thuds, and complete physical control over the suits was given over the pilots. While a many of the over five meter tall goliaths of metal and poly ceramics jumped up and down, throwing their fist in to air in excitement, some of the others had taken up more leaned forward positions to represent the posture their pilots would be in if they were out of their suits and catching their breath. As the orange and purple sunrise crested the horizon, the Nishnabe warrior couldn’t help but take a moment to simply enjoy the scene around him. Though Tens knew the celebration could and would likely keep going until the recovery shuttle landed to pick them up, he couldn’t help but notice that one of the mech seemed to be staring at the treeline of the clearing.
​
Quickly interfacing with the sensor system networked into his own, it soon became quite obvious what Captain Marzima was staring at. Just a few dozen meters away, just at the edge of the treeline surrounding the clearing, were four beings which were quickly highlighted on Tens’s HUD and registered as Arnehilian biosignatures. With a quick zoom and directed scan, it became immediately obvious that a small group of children had stuck away from settlement to watch the mechs land. Though they looked quite clean, well fed, and properly cared for, Tens couldn’t shake the feeling that these small, dull-gray beings were somehow different from the silver-skinned bastards whom he hated. It may have been the more healthy, full-figured appearance of their more human-like frames, the simple olive-drab clothing they wore, or possibly even just the more natural appearance of their skin, but they didn’t seem evil at all. Despite the somewhat suspicious nature of beings trying to keep themselves hidden, a smile formed on the Nishnabe warrior’s face as he walked his mech over towards them.
​
“Hey kids! I can see you!” Tens shouted through his suit’s external speaker system which prompted the children to try to duck behind cover. “The sensors already have you tagged as innocent. You don’t have to hide.”
​
“Report.” Admiral Atxika’s commanding voice cut into the comms link even though she already knew exactly what was going on.
​
“Ah, just some kids.” Tens quickly replied with an unbothered tone. “Probably got told to stay away and then did what kids do.”
​
"I'll contact Mayor Harideth and have him come collect these wayward youth." Atxika replied a bit softer. "Make sure they're safe and uninjured. This planet does have its share of predators."
​
"You got it." There was real excitement from the warrior as he closed the distance to where the children were still cowering behind cover. "Hey kids, are you alright over there?"
​
The only reply Tens received as he stopped just a few of his mechs long paces away from the treeline was silence. Despite their attire blending surprisingly well with the lush green forest that surrounded them, the children's attempt to hide behind a large bush was weak at worst and endearing at best. Seeing as they were obviously still afraid of the giant metal machine that was standing just a few meters away, Tens took the initiative, lowered his mech down to a kneeling position, and triggered the cockpit opening procedure.
​
"Don't be scared." Tens shouted with a caring voice from his now open cockpit. "I've got some snacks for you if you come out."
​
"But… you're an angel…" One of the children was slowly lifting their head above the bush as they spoke.
​
"And angels only fall on tyrants and oppressors!" Another child added with an absolutely adorable, squeaky voice while joining the first with their head poking above the bush.
​
Tens shifted his eyes between the two, unsure of how to respond, but very glad that both children seemed perfectly fine beyond their fear and apprehension. As the other two slowly rose, the Nishnabe warrior opened a small compartment in his cockpit and moved to pull out the promised snacks.
​
"We… we aren't oppressors…" The child who spoke first was clearly still very concerned about why these angels had fallen so close to her settlement. "Are we?…"
​
"No, no, no!" Tens quickly answered in the sweetest voice he could muster. "You are innocent children, little ones! You have done nothing wrong. Now, you can eat candied fruit, right?"
​
"Yes!" The two youngest children shouted in perfect, ecstatic unison.
​
"But…" The first child, though she was now eying the small packets of treats that Tens had in his hand, obviously still had her reservations. "If we aren't oppressors… Why did you fall so close to our village? Are there oppressors nearby?"
​
"Ooohhh!" The realization of what was scaring the young girl hit the man like a falling brick. "No, no, no, don't worry, sweetheart. We're just training. Angels have to practice falling so we can do our jobs perfectly when we are called to."
​
"Huh…" The gray, scaly skinned little girl only looked concerned for a second longer before a huge smile formed across her face and her large blue eyes began to sparkle. "I guess that makes sense. And you all were so beautiful as you fell! Like a wing of fire falling to the ground with the fury of the loving Old Gods!"
​
"The Old Gods?" Tens half asked while motioning for the children to approach and collect their snacks. "But, more importantly, what are your names, little ones?"
​
"I'm Valerovum." The first child, who was obviously the leader of this group, announced as she guided the rest from behind the bush and towards Tens and his mech. "And this is Teliuva, Carmoni, and Jokiat."
​
"It is a pleasure to meet you all." The man bowed slightly before handing the snack packets to Val who then distributed them to her posse. "Do your parents know you're out here? I'm sure they're worried about you."
​
"Umm…." Val and her gang's eyes grew wide as they realized they might get in trouble for wandering so far away from the safety of their village. However, as if on cue, a new voice called out from the forest behind them.
​
"Valerovum! Teliuva! Carm-" It sounded like a man was desperately crying out for the young children.
​
"Over here!" Tens shouted back as loud as he could. "They're safe!"
​
In the few moments it took for rustling of branches and leaves to close the distance to where Tens and the children were waiting, the kids had already opened their snacks and begun savoring the sweet treats as if it were the very first time they had ever eaten something so sweet. When the olive-drap clad Arnehilian Mayor burst through the bramble, he quickly came to a frozen stop as he saw the four children eating their snacks in front of the Nishnabe warrior and his mechanized walker.
​
"Mayor Harideth!" Jokiat, the smallest of the four children, ran over the older being, wrapped one of his legs in a tight hug, and then offered the packet of candied fruit up towards him. "This angel has the best snacks I've ever had!"
​
"They aren't-" The Mayor began before quickly cutting himself off. "Oh, is that right, Jokiat?"
​
"Yes, yes! You have to try one!" The small child raised the packet of snacks even further towards the Mayor’s dull-gray face.
​
"They're just candied fruits." Tens clarified after seeing the hints of apprehension on Harideth's face. "They're high in vitamins and sugar content."
​
“Tha- Thank you!” Harideth took one of the slices of dried, semi-hardened fruit from the package then gave Tens a polite bow before patting Jok on the head lovingly. As he took a delicate bit of the sweet treat, his eyes suddenly grew just as wide as the children’s and he looked like he was eating the most delicious thing he had ever tried.
​
“Good, right?” The Nishnabe warrior was doing his best to be friendly towards these members of a species that, in any other circumstance, he would have already killed. “I always keep a few packets in my mech just in case I get hungry on a mission.”
​
“This is wonderful!” The mayor confirmed before bowing again and then redirecting his attention towards the group of children. “Now children, we were worried sick about you! There are predators in this forest. Think about how your mothers would cry if something bad were to happen to you. Let’s get you back to the village before one of those predators finds us.”
​
“I can escort y’all, if yah want.” Tens chimed in with a genuinely pleasant tone and smile on his face. “I wouldn’t want anything happening to these adorable little ones. If there are predators in this forest, they wouldn’t dare try to attack y’all if me and Loud Bark are with you.”
​
“Oh, that-” Harideth was about to respectfully decline when Jok interrupted him.
​
“The angels protect the innocent!” The small child’s shout was quickly followed up by the rest of the children repeating the phrase in near perfect unison. “The angels protect the innocent!”
​
“That…” The Mayor looked down into Jok’s eyes and saw a sense of hope and serenity that touched his soul before he turned back towards Tens. “That would be quite kind and generous of you. I would truly appreciate it.”
​
“Tsss! Don’t worry about it!” Tens was all smiles at the prospect of being able to witness a truly peaceful Arnehilian settlement. “It’s gonna be another 30 to 40 minutes before the recovery shuttle gets here, another 20 to 30 minutes to load up all my trainees, and then they can just come pick me up from your village. Besides, angels protect the innocent, right?”

(If this post is still up, I'm still looking!)
Hey there. I really want to develop a female led/slight gentle femdom relationship with a special guy.
When a lot of men see the term "female led relationship," they think, "Oh, the woman will make all the decisions with no input on what I think/want."
Are there dynamics like that? I'm sure there is. Personally, I'm not looking to be "the boss" or "above" you in any way. I want us to be equal... but have you give up control to me in a few other ways. :)
What do I mean? Keep reading on!
● ABOUT ME ●
You can call me Dreamer for now. (I'll tell you my real name once we get to know each other) Please do NOT call me Miss, Master, Dominatrix or Ma'am.
I'm 25 years old and an INFJ-T. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, USA (AKA Music City) and I'm on Central Standard Time. I'm a Black woman and I stand 5 feet, 7 inches tall. My eyes are brown and I wear glasses. I don't have any tattoos or piercings at the moment.
One thing I want to mention is that I'm plus size, AKA a bigger girl. I'm undergoing a vertical sleeve gastrectomy in two months to lose the excess weight I have in a sustainable and permanent way. I'm ready to regain my body and be healthy and confident again. I'd love to have you by my side throughout my journey!
As far as personality goes, I'd describe myself as empathetic and sweet. I like to help others as much as I can. In person, I tend to be rather shy at first. People tend to mistake that for weakness or gullibility. I'm anything but; my strength lies in introspection and quiet observation. I notice every nuance of a person's actions, words, body language, vibe... my intuition hasn't steered me wrong yet!
● INTERESTS ●
I won't go into detail on every single interest that I have but I'll talk about my biggest ones that you'll likely hear me mention the most.
✨️Writing✨️
I've been writing since I was six years old, but I started taking it seriously around 13 years old. All in all, it's been 19 years. As of right now, I primarily write Fanfiction but in the past, I've written short stories, poetry and I even tried to learn how to write screenplays at one point.
I wrote my first full-length book in 2018/2019. I started the sequel in early 2020, but I'm still working on it. I lost a LOT of inspiration during the pandemic but I'm finally writing for it again.
If you also enjoy writing, I'd love to "talk shop" with you and maybe we can exchange some of our past works.
✨️Music✨️
Music has gotten me through a lot over the years. Yeah, yeah, I know everyone says that. But it truly has. It's shaped my life and introduced me to a lot of things and people that I probably never would've done or met otherwise.
There's no point in saying I like xyz genre because I've listened to pretty much everything. The only ones I truly hate are country and gangster rap. If you want specifics, though... I've been a HUGE twenty one pilots fan for 9 years. (I have more merch, stickers and other random shit than I care to admit to lmao) I also love other artists like Amber Run, Purity Ring, Phantogram, Daughter, Lorde, OneRepublic... plus tons more.
I've always had this dumb idea of a guy and I confessing to each other through playlists with songs that make us think fondly about each other...
God, I'm single.
✨️Photography✨️
I've been into photography for 10 years and I've had my DSLR for eight years. (It's definitely the camera version of 'Ol Reliable) I enjoy nature and portrait photography. I'd love to show you some of my work and get your thoughts on it.
✨️TV/Movies✨️
TV genres I like: Animation (like Spongebob), comedy, drama, documentaries (disaster and crime ones are my favorites), true crime (like Forensic Files), old sitcoms (like Sanford and Son) and cooking and baking competitions/reality TV (like Kitchen Nightmares US and UK, Hell's Kitchen, Master Chef, The Great British Baking Show, etc)
Movie genres I like: Animation, drama, comedy, action, psychological thrillers and science fiction. I thoroughly loved The Greatest Showman so one could say I like musicals but it's the only one I've seen so not sure if that really counts. Comic book movies are pretty alright too, but I really haven't seen anything past the first Avengers movie lmaooooo.
I say this as unpretentiously as possible, but I haven't seen most popular TV shows or movies that your average person likes. I think the last "popular" thing I watched was that Jeffrey Dahmer series on Netflix. (mainly out of morbid curiosity because everyone was freaking out about it... and because I think Evan Peters is a cutie) I only saw a few episodes and then forgot to watch the rest of it, but it wasn't as horrific as everyone was saying. Maybe I've watched too much Forensic Files and I'm desensitized lmao.
✨️Video and computer games✨️
Video game genres I like: Adventure, action-adventure, RPGs & JRPGs, Strategy... basically anything that is relatively fun and not horror related.
Some of my all-time favorites: Kingdom Hearts II, Ratchet and Clank, Journey, Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy X.
As far as computer games, the only thing I play on a regular basis is The Sims 2 and The Sims 4. As a kid, I loved simulator and time-management games; some old favorites are the RCT series, Simcity: Rush Hour, the first four Diner Dash games, the Delicious series and Burger Shop 2 (which I still have on my computer actually lmao)
✨️Other random interests✨️
Art, traveling, people watching, researching random topics on Wikipedia and watching YouTube, especially channels with old shows and movies.
☆ CAREER ☆
My last position was working nights at a psychiatric hospital. I'm looking for something new at the moment.
☆ SCHOOLING ☆
I'm officially a college student at 25. Yay! Feel free to ask me more about it, I'd love to talk.
☆ ET CETERA ☆
I really love dogs and cats. I have three cats and they're little demons but I love them to death. I also love small animals like ferrets, bunnies and snakes!
My main love languages are words of affirmation, quality time and gift giving/receiving. To be honest, though, there's elements of each language that I enjoy or relate to in one way or another.
I don't smoke and I drink every so often. Otherwise, I'm vaccinated and DDF.
● ABOUT YOU ●
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 23-33 years old. I might be willing to talk to someone within two years in either direction (so 21 min and 35 max) if you meet all my other preferences/wants. If you're younger than 21 or older than 35, though, please don't contact me.
Please be single and emotionally available. I won't interact with anyone already in a relationship or married (even if you're separated or in a "dead bedroom," you're STILL married) and I'm especially not interested in poly/ENM. I'm 100% monogamous.
Hair is super important to me! I prefer medium length to long hair, something I can stroke and play with a lot lmao.
I have a REALLY big soft spot for blue and/or doe eyes, but don't let that deter you. If you have kind eyes, I'll fall in love with them, no matter their color!
I tend to like softer facial features and even softer personalities. Are you super masculine in public but a total softie in private? Lovely! Are you less masculine but a little more feminine? Great! Are you androgynous or otherwise fall somewhere in between? I can dig it!
Key traits that I like in a guy include, but are not limited to: Being sweet, gentle, empathetic, considerate, an active listener, exceptional at communication and willing to go the extra mile for those that you love, be it family, friends, your partner, etc.
With that being said, it's important that you have time for me. I'm not expecting us to talk 24/7 but if you're always too busy to talk to me, this won't work. At some point, I'd like for us to also talk on the phone as our schedules permit, of course.
As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, please be from the USA/North America and willing to meet and get to know each other in person ASAP.
● WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR ●
It's important to me that you're an active listener; what I mean is that you'll make an effort to listen to what I have to say and respond to it accordingly. If I tell you my thoughts on a matter or ask you a question or give you a compliment etc etc, please respond to it. It makes me feel so sad and small if I feel like my thoughts or opinions are not important/relevant.
I can tell pretty quickly if someone is genuinely interested in me or not. Like I said before, I notice everything lol.
I mentioned earlier how one of my love languages is words of affirmation. One of the ways I enjoy that is through compliments. I'm not looking for you to worship the ground I walk on, but being told "You look beautiful" or "When you do xyz, that makes me really happy" makes me feel SO seen and appreciated.
It's incredibly frustrating to send a picture of myself and get a lukewarm response in return. :(
Affection is also super important to me. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, touching... all the cute couple shit. I want you to touch me, not in a pervy way, but in an affectionate way. I want to stroke your hair while I hold you close... little things like that make me incredibly happy.
Keep in mind, everything I want from you, I'll give to you in return. I'll always listen and acknowledge you, give you compliments, shower you in affection, plus whatever else makes you feel wanted and appreciated as a person and in a relationship.
● OUR DYNAMIC ●
I always want you to have a choice and be able to voice your opinion. I will never degrade or boss you around in general, but especially when it comes to your personal choices. I'm a switch that used to be a predominant sub and believe me, I've had doms tell me before, "I make the decision on what you wear, what to eat, who you hang out with, etc etc... because I'm your dom and what I say goes."
Some people may like that. More power to them. But I'm not like that. I want you to feel free to express yourself. If you want my opinion, I'll give it to you, of course. But my job is to build you up and support your decisions, no matter how small!
Again, I'm not looking for you to kiss my ass. I'd love for you to take the lead on most decisions (with my input, of course). But I want you to also have a "service" attitude; whether that's helping out with household chores or surprising me with a massage after work or giving me flowers "just because" or helping me paint my toenails lol... just to name some examples. The sky's the limit.
That extends to "the bedroom" as well. I want my pleasure to be just as important to you as yours is to me.
In short? I just want to feel doted on and taken care of. I want to be the most important person in your life and you be the most important person in my life. I want to make you feel special and praise you and tell you how much you mean to me. And I want the same in return. 💓
● "KINKS" ●
This is inevitably gonna come up at some point. I'll say when it comes to my "kinks" (if you want to call them that) I like:
Teasing, edging, telling you when you can cum and begging me for it (I believe it's called orgasm control/denial), moaning, praise, blindfolds, eye contact, body worshiping (you and me), breast worship, oral, fingering and using toys on you.
Been a little curious about pegging someone one day. We'd have to build up to it, of course, because I don't want to hurt you. If you're not into that, though, don't worry! It's definitely not a requirement.
Things I do NOT like (or hard limits) are:
Humiliation, degradation, anything that causes you or me physical, emotional and mental harm, blood, pee, scat, vomit, diapers, CNC, ageplay, raceplay, hitting, slapping, choking or anything else illegal, unethical or otherwise unloving.
● IN CONCLUSION... ●
If you read all of this, good job! Here's a cookie, hope you like chocolate chip. 🍪
Seriously, though, I can't name every little thing I want. Despite the length of this post, I'm not trying to play Build-A-Boy. I realize you have your own caveats and that's totally fine. Let's get to know each other and see what happens. All I ask for, again, is that you want a serious, longterm relationship and not view me as just some sort of "kink dispenser."
Chats or DMs are fine. When you send me a message, please include the following...
• Name or alias • Location • Age • Height, body type, hair cololength, eye color • Your interests/hobbies • Whether you're a sub or a switch • What you're looking for out of a relationship and something (or things) you really enjoyed about my post • A clear, SFW picture of yourself • Your current favorite song (so I know you actually read through all of this) • Whatever else you want to add to catch my attention. The more you can match my "detailed energy," the better.
I won't reply to those who ignore my preferences or the message requirements above. If you send me nudes/dick pics/sexting or FWB requests/rude messages, you will be blocked and reported.
Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you have a good night!

• Dreamer

(P.S. I don't use Snap, Kik, Telegram, WhatsApp and whatever else. I use Discord and I only give my cell number out to people that I'm comfy with.)

Hello, my buds. I hope you all had a good week. This week we have Shiksie and Martinez having a meeting with the Director. This chapter will be setting up the big goal for Martinez going forwards, it will be something he has to balance with his time with friends, Lysa, and some other characters you have yet to meet yet.
​
-----------
To Shikisies disappointment she had to stop her conversation with Martinez to take the call from the Director. As far as she was able to tell her conversation with Martinez was going very well; It seemed that the two of them were genuinely starting to build a connection of some sort, even if it was small and likely fragile. Having Martinez open up to her and rely on her at all was still very pleasing.
When she answered the phone from the director, Shiksies' hackles stood on end the moment he started speaking. There was no form of care or concern in his voice; every word was filled with venom and spite. It was evident enough that the director was furious at the human because every hiss and growl in his tone was not directed at her but at Martinez. He demanded that Her and Martinez report to his office as fast as possible.
Shiksie attempted to explain the situation with how Martinez was having a hard time with trauma and likely should not be subjected to more hostility at the moment, but the director was hearing none of it. He would not budge on the matter, snapping that he would ship both of them off-world in a heartbeat if they weren't in front of his desk within the hour.
Shiksie hung her head low. While she might have some pull in the trauma unit, when it came to the director she was just another number on a spreadsheet the man. Just another worker who was either an asset or a liability. She had enough experience with the political game higher-ups in the GU had to play to see their careers advance, and the director was no different.
Both she and Harnsis had their own bone to pick with the Director, him having kept them in their current positions longer than they should have been. All because he would dangle some promise of a promotion or a new certification opportunity in front of them. The director had always been good at the carrot or the stick method of leadership. Likely that was one of the reasons he had been in charge of two different hospitals over the course of the last 40 standard cycles.
The amount of ire Martinez had drawn from the director was shocking to her, never in all her time on the station had anyone been called to his office for anything other than a meet and greet, or a cordial goodbye. The fight Martinez was involved in must have ruffled the feathers of some big-time players in the GU to have the directors so up in arms. Either that or the director had some big plans she would much rather Martinez stay out of; Navigating the politics of the GU was a ruthless game, no one should step into without a certain type of conviction or goal already in their mind.
Shiksie turned her attention back to Martinez. He was still lazily seated on the bench, his lustrous brown eyes tracking her intently. Clearly, he had heard her half of the conversation and was displeased by it. The sorrow pooling in his vibrant eyes made her heart ache. No one should look that downtrodden in their life.
Even if the two of them butted heads when they had first met, it would be a cold day in whatever hell the director believed in before she let that man break her apprentice more than whatever events in his past had already done.
“So how much of that did you hear?” Shiksies asked while she tucked away her datapad.
“Enough to know I am likely screwed,” Martinez sighed, his shoulders slumping to match the rest of his woeful appearance.
“Oh come on,” Shiksie said as she walked up to Martinez. She gently placed one of her hands on his shoulder, and Martinez made no effort at all to stop her or even pull away. Shiksie was uncertain if she should feel relieved or horrified that Martinez had just let her touch him with no reaction at all.
“We are both requested, I'm certain it won't be that bad,” She said.
Martinez looked back up at her and sighed. He could see Shiksie was trying, but he doubted anything good would come of this meeting. He figured from the intensity Shiksie had been arguing with the director, this meeting was likely to be the most legendary reaming he had ever received. It would make any fight he and the Marines had on navy ships look like a light talking to.
“Not like I have any choice in the matter, '' Martinez replied flippantly. Having surrendered to the fact that his fate was already out of his control. He had dealt with enough incidents in the Human navy to know fighting in town was a huge no-no. He could not even fathom the depths of the hole he had dug for himself by having fought several aliens while being the only human in several light years.
Martinez stood up and gently pushed Shiksies hand off his shoulder. He took a deep breath and centered himself. The voices of his drill instructors and his former sergeants rang loudly in his mind.
“Keep your bearing”
It was something he had fairly mastered at this point. The director might have surprised him when they first met, but this time Martinez knew what he looked like and was ready for him.
“Let’s get this over with,” Martinez said as he turned and walked back towards the building.
Shiksie trailed behind Martinez as they walked towards the director's office, her ears fluttered around catching passing glimpses of every conversation they neared. The other residents and workers of Draun took no notice of the two of them as they passed, as they saw it today was just another day at the office.
Shiksies nose scrunched as they got closer to the elevators leading up to the Director's office. Martinez was clearly starting to worry more than he had at the start of the day. The sheer amount of sweat and pheromones pouring off him was choking, even with her using a scent blocker the amount of anxiety and worry crawling on him was palpable. A sickening haze of rot, sweat, and Martinez’s pine smell coated the air around him.
Once they had reached the elevator, Shiksie caught a glimpse of Martinez’s eyes as he turned back towards the door. The blank look on his face was unnerving, sending her hackles up on end. He looked more like the walking dead than the strong-willed human she knew he was.
His vibrant brown eyes bored through her and everything else in the hospital. It was obvious he had looked at her, but it did not seem like his eyes were focused on anything at all. A vapid blank expression coated his face like a vile doppelganger had replaced him.
As the elevator lurched upwards, Shiksie held her breath, trying to keep the potency of Martinez’s scent from overtaking her. Luckily whatever mood he was in right now was not a talkative one. The excruciatingly long elevator ride up to the top floor was filled with deathly silence.
Once they were in front of the Director's large wooden office doors, Martinez paused. Without Harnsis here to lead him into the belly of the beast he figured he would do it himself, and he was not about to have Shiksie go in there without him. She seemed upset by the whole ordeal already, and he did not want her to cause more trouble for him, or herself.
Martinez slammed his fist on the door, the heavy impacts of his fist vibrating throughout the entire floor.
He looked back at Shiksie, she nervously rolled the tip of her tail between her hands while holding it just in front of her shapely waist. Her ears slightly drooped, and her deep blue eyes held that icy glare he had seen every day since he had arrived.
A wry smile curled on his lips as he turned back towards the door. Martinez wondered if this would be the first time Shiksie had ever stood before someone in charge of her for anything negative. She did not seem like the type to ever cause any sort of trouble; He had no doubt that she was nervous, as getting a read on the enigmatic Catwoman was getting easier by the day.
“Come in,” The growling voice of the director sounded out, vibrating the massive wood doors on their hinges.
Martinez parted the door and entered the room. He was not certain why he thought it was what he should do, maybe it was just some kind of ingrained behavior for reporting in anywhere.
Each one of his steps was a calculated march, not a single piece of wasted motion as walked with purpose, right in front of the Director's desk. His heels clicked together as he assumed a crisp position of attention in front of the large lizard-like alien.
Shiksie watched in confusion as Martinez marched proudly into the room, his mannerisms juxtaposed to the anxiety she could nearly taste rolling off him. She quickly trailed in behind him and took a far less crisp stance next to the human. She wrapped one hand in the other and held them in front of her waist, her tail tucked low behind one of her legs.
“You called for us Sir,” Shiksie said.
The massive black-scaled alien leaned forwards on his desk, his elbows causing the desk frame to bow, creaking underneath his massive frame. His knife-like claws tapped loudly on the thick armor-like plates on his chest. He narrowed his fours greenish-yellow eyes on Martinez, and let out a deep guttural growl.
“I did, I am glad the two of you made it here so quickly” the Director grumbled. “We have much to discuss”
“Of course Sir,” Shiksie replied “We would not want to keep you waiting”
“Take a seat,” the Director huffed while gesturing to the two chairs across from him.
The two of them slid into the chairs. Martinez sat up straight as if there was a rod of iron built into his spine. Martinez looked back at the Director's horrifying predatory eyes, doing everything he could to keep his bearing from breaking. He was shuffling his feet in his shoes and biting down on his tongue. Even though from the moment he entered his heart regrettably started racing, a primal fear of the Director's appearance, began to well up inside of him.
“Now then onto business, there is no point in keeping you here longer than I have to” the Director growled.
He reached into his desk and pulled out an incredibly large data pad, nearly the size of a small television; The device was obviously custom-made for the man, as it had a bulkier build than any other datapad either of them had ever seen.
The Director turned his attention to the data pad and resumed speaking “Martinez, do you remember what I told you when you first arrived here?”
“I am fairly confident that you instructed me to not cause any trouble, Sir,” Martinez replied in a nearly robotic monotone voice.
He nodded his head and turned the data pad around, so Shiksie and Martinez could see the video he had pulled up on the galactic union's video-sharing site. The title caught both Martinez’s and Shiksies attention “Human Savage and Vein Slicer nearly kill”
“Tell me then, would hospitalizing two people count as causing trouble?” The director hissed
Cold sweat formed on Martinez's back as the video began to play. Lysa and his fight against the aliens had been fully captured in remarkably high definition. Her graceful dodges and strikes against the alien. Followed quickly by his relentless assault on the alien.
Martinez’s bruised arm throbbed as he saw the alien breaking its hand on it, the loud crunch of its bones causing whoever recorded the video to gasp. Then came the part that had Martinez’s heart shuddering. What he initially thought was a quick violent act of striking back, appeared far different in the framing of the video.
A monstrous glint filled his eyes on the video feed as he slowly approached his reeling opponent, not an ounce of humanity in his body as he stalked toward his injured prey. Martinez gripped his pants tightly, his knuckles going white as the moment approached. A deafening crunch sounded out as his fist connected with the alien's jaw, sending the creature collapsing to the ground.
The alien recording wretched in the background, the muttered words of “What kind of savage would do that” played just before the director cut the video off.
Shiksie watched the video in fascination. Martinez and the alien fighting alongside him was a surreal thing to watch; any doubt she had in her mind about how dangerous Martinez could be was gone. The fight was brutal and efficient, Martinez hardly looked like a living being in those brief moments. Each action was so well practiced and focused it shook Shiksie to the core.
Her eyes wandered over to Martinez; the mystery of the Human's past only grew further. Along with that, she had noticed in the fight something else. While he looked like a beast on a rampage, he had stepped in between the Aviex and the Urintal without a moment's hesitation. She wondered how Martinez had met the Aviex he had thrown himself into a fight for. She knew the two of them were on a date, but the way he acted so quickly was not the actions someone would take with a total stranger, at least in her eyes.
She thought back to their conversation about this even earlier. Martinez did tell her he was unsure why he jumped in so willingly to protect the Aviex woman, but actually seeing the fight unfold only made that comment all the more bizarre.
“I would definitely say that would count as causing trouble sir” Martinez grumbled
“Good, we are on the same page then,” the director replied. Before he tossed the datapad onto his desk.
“According to the regulations that I was given when you were assigned to me. I am acting as your current commanding officer. Therefore the issue of any punishment you will receive has been handed to me,” The director said as he pointed his knife-like claw at Martinez.
“Sir, why would he be getting punished? He did nothing wrong” Shiksie protested. “The police even decided that this was self-defense”
The director's eyes darted over to Shiksie, cutting into her icy gaze. “I am well aware of what the police have to say about the event” The director snapped. The bestial man took a moment and drew in a sharp breath. “As for your question it is because I have a job to do, so does he,” he sighed.
The director stood up to his full height. The director's three-meter tall frame towered over them both, nearly touching the ceiling. He wandered over towards the side of the room, his gaze trailing along a series of pictures hanging on. The pictures depicted the previous directors of Draun station. Each looked so wildly different from one another that it was hard for Martinez to believe.
“Do either of you have any idea what my job even is?” The director asked while tracing his claw along the multitude of pictures. “Or the job of all of the previous directors?”
“No, not really sir,” Martinez replied. Curious as to what the director was getting at.
Shiksie was well aware of the Director's job and did not trust him for that reason. He might do his best to keep you from being messed with by the public, but that protection came at a price.
He turned around and sighed. “My main concern is the optics and the interactions of Draun station and the public,'' He said, gesturing towards the widows behind his desk. “Said simply I have not been a doctor in a long time, I am more of a politician”
That makes sense, Martinez thought. Even in the Military the higher in rank you rose, the more politics you had to play.
“This incident is volatile and I have to act accordingly” He grumbled while walking closer to the two of them. He placed himself between the two of them, draping his massive clawed hands on the back of their chairs.
“Martinez as of right now is not an asset, he is a liability” The director hissed. His blazing hot breath rolled over both of them. Both of their bodies quivered in their seats under the mere presence of the director. “I have to make some actions to fix that”
“Sir That's not fair. So what if he got into a fight,” Shiskie managed to squeak.
“Fair is not what I care about. I need results, and something good to say to the press, and the human ambassador breathing down my neck,” The director snapped.
“So what punishment are you going to give to me sir?” Martinez asked.
“Martinez, stop, don't just accept a punishment. You did nothing wrong” Shiksie protested. Trying to keep Martinez out of whatever the director had planned.
Martinez shot a fiery glance at her, She recoiled slightly when she caught his gaze.
“I appreciate your concern Shiksie, but it's not our call what happens. It's the Directors,” Martinez growled.
The director chuckled deeply, his booming voice causing both of them to choke slightly under the pressure. The Director started stomping toward his seat on the far side.
“You know Martinez, I thought I saw something in you when you first got here,” The director said as he lowered himself back down into the chair. ”That glower you just gave shows me you will be able to see through what I have in mind for you”
“Sir please don't punish Martinez, there has to be something else you can do '' Shiksie hissed
The director held up his hand towards Shiksie “Can you stop, and let me finish” The director growled “I know you care about him and I would rather not punish him, but this is not your place to intervene or comment. I will ask for your opinion when I want it”
Shiksies ears flattened back down against her head, she shrank down into her chair and clawed at her own shirt. The reality of facing the director was far different than her imagination could have ever produced. She wanted to keep Martinez safe, but now at the moment of truth, she felt worthless.
Dammit Shiksie, stop talking. Don't go down with me, you idiot, Martinez thought.
The director looked back towards Martinez “You on the other hand I have plans for you. You will be a golden goose for myself and this station. If we play our cards right you will also get that damned ambassador of my back. That rank and file bitch thinks just because you are human, she has the right to make calls about my staff”
Martinez had no idea there even was a human ambassador on Draun, but apparently the human government had been busy in the last few months.
“What do you mean sir?” Martinez asked.
The director chuckled and pulled out a few pieces of paper from his desk and pushed them towards Martinez. “Read those while I explain my plan”
Martinez grabbed the stack of papers and started to read over them. While Shiksie carefully leaned over to get a look at the papers for herself.
“So with you having been involved in this fight, I have that bitch of an ambassador, the media, and a few representatives from town hall eager for a comment or an interview from me. Along with all of them wanting me to remove you from my station and send you back to the Navy” The director growled. “I am not going to give them what they want”
“Ok so you are not wanting to get rid of me, and whatever is in here is supposed to help with that?” Martinez questioned turning to the next page.
The director nodded “That is correct, and what you have there are the enrolment forms for the ‘Interspecies trauma nursing license program’”
The director gave a wicked grin to the two of them as they continued to read the paperwork. “I am going to not punish you, I am going to make you into an asset that will be too valuable for them to possibly get rid of”
“Wait sir, are you wanting Martinez to enroll for his ITN?” Shiksie asked.
“That is the plan, and I am giving Martinez an accelerated timeline to complete the program,” The director replied
“But Martinez is so new, you need years of experience as a basic tech before you even consider going for this license” Shiskies replied, looking at Martinez who was still flipping through the program's outline.
“Normally yes, but Martinez is a Human EMT, has combat experience, and has some of the best ITNs the GU has ever seen training him. Therefore I am giving him one standard cycle to get it” The director replied.
Shiksie shot up to her feet, her claws reflexively extending out of her hands. “One standard? Are you insane!?” Shiskie yelled. Drawing both Martinez’s and the Director's full attention. “That license takes most people two cycles at least to get!”
“Shiksie, calm down,” Martinez said.
Shiksies eyes snapped down towards Martinez, his eyes were not the vacant stare they were when they entered. They were full of that usual fire she was used to seeing, she glared at him flabbergasted that Martinez could even consider agreeing to this. “No, I will not calm down. He might be saying this is not a punishment, but all he is trying to do is use you as some political pawn, can't you see that?” She hissed.
Martinez grabbed hold of her hand, “Shiksie stop, I am well aware of what he is saying. Now sit back down”
Shiksie nearly melted under his burning gaze and the gentle pull on her hand, directing her to take a seat. She looked between Martinez and the growling director. a wave of realization of how out of line she just was, rolled over her. She sat back down in her seat shrinking down trying to be forgotten about in this situation.
“I am sorry about my outburst sir,” Shiksie grumbled.
“It's fine, I understand your concern over this,” The director replied “Just don't lose your head, I know you better than that”
The director turned his attention back to Martinez “So Henry Martinez, I have two weeks until I am going to be in front of the press about the incident. You have until then to pass your first test for the program” The director said “That will give me something I can show them, and keep them from demanding proof of your enrolment”
“That makes sense, how will the testing be taking place?” Martinez questioned.
“It will be a written test at the local university, I will be there overseeing it to ensure no one else takes it for you,” the director said, his gaze cutting into Shiksie. “Do you think you can do it?”
Shiksie glared back at the director for the insinuation. She would never cheat on those tests, it would do no good for anyone if she did. Martinez would have a difficult time passing, but she thinks he might be able to do it.
Martinez took a few moments to finish reading the documents the director had given him. They outlined every step of the program; each test, chapter, and class was well documented and clear as day. This was something he had never thought was even possible when he arrived, he was not even aware of the full scope of the GU licensing process; He had been brought in as more of a Human advisor than anything. Now he thought if he could leave here with this license he might not even have to go back to the Navy, or even Earth for that matter. He could go anywhere in the galaxy to work, the sky would literally be the limit.
He looked up at the director with a raging inferno of motivation blazing in his chest; something Martinez had not felt burning this hot in many years. “I can do this,” He said proudly. “It's far better than what I thought you were going to do to me”
“That's likely very true, My other option was sending you back to the Navy. ” The director chuckled “Shiksie you are going to ensure he studies and is ready for a test every week, do you understand?”
“I..I...I understand sir” Shiksie replied, barely able to contain her own volatile mixture of emotions about the situation. A mixture of embarrassment, rage, and anxiety swirled inside her like a deep whirlpool sucking her body down into its depths.
“Good, So I will handle the paperwork and try to keep the press off you Martinez,” The directors said. He stood up and gestured for them to do the same. Afterward, Shiksie and Martinez stood. The director looked between the two of them, pointing his claw at them “This conversation never happened, Martinez was already in the program if anyone ever asks, do you understand?”
“Yes sir,” Martinez replied.
“I understand sir,” Shiksie grumbled.
“Perfect, for now, get back to work. Oh and Martinez, stay out of trouble this time. I can't keep the press off you forever, and they are ravenous to get a hold of you”
Martinez nodded his understanding.
“Good now, get out of my office, I have a lot of paperwork to do now,” The Director said, a sneering grin crawling onto his face, revealing his massive rows of sharp teeth.
The two of them turned and exited the office as quickly as possible. Once they were out in the hallway both of their hearts took a moment to settle. Martinez looked over at Shiksie ready to tell her how that went way better than he hoped, and how excited he was to tackle this new challenge. When he turned his heart sputtered, ice forming in his veins; Shiksie was looming over him in a way he had never had the feline alien do before.
Shiksie was overflowing with emotions, all of them directed at Martinez. She could not understand how he was so stupid as to take a deal like that. Nor could she understand why he was so calm about what he had in front of him, both of which had rage, and confusion boiling out of her.
“You… you… you fucking idiot!” Shiksie hissed, Her long fangs fully on display as she stepped closer to Martinez. “How can someone be so smart, and at the same time so stupid?”
Martinez backed up away from Shiksie until he felt the cold wall against his back. Shiksie gracefully stepped closer to him. Close enough both of them could feel the heat rolling off the other.
“What? I took my punishment?” Martinez quickly replied, holding both of his hands up so Shiksie could see them. He looked back at her and was confused beyond all reckoning. Her body language was strange even for her. Her ears were tucked, her tail was swaying, and her eyes were no longer cold at all. They were staring unyielding into his, filled with an odd gentle concern.
“We could have tried to get you out of it,” Shiksie groaned “This isn’t the human military, you don't have to take that”
Martinez put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her gently away. To his surprise, Shiksie did not try to stay that close to him, she just backed away as he gently pressed her shoulders.
“Look Shiksie, I took the offer because I thought it was a good deal. Yeah, so what if I will have a lot of work, I'm used to that” Martinez said.
Shiksie pressed her head into her own hands, “It's not just that. That is its own problem. Now the director is going to use you for playing politics.” She groaned
Martinez scratched the back of his head, and gave her an awkward smile “Yeah I know. I am not exactly happy that he will likely use me as some kind of showpiece, but it could be worse”
Shiksie sighed, Doing what she could to calm herself down, her mind racing to think of how Martinez could possibly master an entire three months of school in two weeks. She remembered something she had at her den. She still has all of her notes from when she got her license.
“What are you doing tomorrow night?” Shiksie asked. As she dragged her hands down across her face.
“Well I was planning on getting some groceries, maybe watch a movie or something. Why?” Martinez replied.
“Perfect, you are going to come over to my den. I'm going to help you study,” Shiksie purred.
​
​
----------
Afterthoughts/other news.
How goes it my buds? I just sent my other book of to my Editor to get that one ready for print/sale. Expect word on that soon-soonish TM. It will be ready fully in a few months.
In other stuff, I am looking forwards to having Martinez have to essentially play politics, go to college and balance the rest of his new life at Draun. He is in for a lot of "Adapt or die" sort of situations.
​
Updoot if you liked the story and lemme know what you thought of this weeks chapter.
Next week we are going to have Martinez facing the true extent of Shiksies near neurotic studying and dedication to learning about every alien she can.
​
Your bud
-Pirate
​
-----------
​
Next:
Previous :
https://www.reddit.com/humansarespaceorcs/comments/13zadbm/human_trauma_section_twelve_back_to_work/
First
https://www.reddit.com/humansarespaceorcs/comments/121mgy1/human_trauma/

This is my translation of the episode of Ongaku Bakudan with Miku Kobato and Saiki on May 18, 2023.

• Image
• Video

Cookie is a comedian with the style of the ’80s high school bad boys. His rough language is part of his act.
Related discussions:

• Miku & Saiki on TikTok 20230515 (Interview after shooting of TV program 音楽爆弾 (Ongaku-Bakudan, On-Baku) to be aired on May 17th)
• Another TV Show appearance?

​

• Hosts: Cookie, Rossy (Yasei Bakudan)
• Guests: Miku Kobato, Saiki (Band-Maid)

00:07 Narrator: Ongaku Bakudan.
00:08 Narrator: Tonight’s guest is a hard rock band in maid outfits that attracts the world’s attention, Band-Maid!
00:16 Narrator: They have been doing solo concerts in over 10 countries mainly in Europe and the US! Their US tour last year drew in more than 20,000 people!
00:30 Narrator: This year, they are going to be the first Japanese female musicians to perform at Lollapalooza, one of the largest outdoor festivals in the world!
00:40 Narrator: The global band active not only in Japan but also overseas makes their first appearance in Ongaku Bakudan!
00:55 Rossy: So, please welcome today’s guests, Band-Maid!
00:58 Cookie: Wow! Thank you for coming!
01:00 Rossy: Thank you very much for coming!
01:01 Kobato: Thank you for inviting, po.
01:03 Kobato: Thank you for inviting, po!
01:04 Rossy: Oh, you say “po”, right? You’re saying “po, po”, though.
01:08 Cookie: It comes out like “po, po, po, po”? “Po” comes out naturally?
01:10 Kobato: It comes out naturally, po.
01:10 Cookie: Uh-huh.
01:11 Rossy: Is that the pigeon’s “po” because you are Kobato-san? [Note: “Kobato” means “small pigeon” and “po” means the pigeon’s “coo”.]
01:13 Kobato: Oh, that’s right, po. I’m Miku Kobato, so I’m half-small-pigeon half-human, po.
01:18 Cookie: Because of the merger with the pigeon?
01:19 Kobato: Oh, you’re right, po.
01:20 Cookie: Are you the only one in Band-Maid who’s mixed with a pigeon?
01:23 Kobato: Oh, I’m the only one, po.
01:23 Saiki: Oh, she’s the only one.
01:24 Cookie: Is anyone else mixed with anything? I mean the other members.
01:26 Saiki: Oh…
01:27 Kobato: They are not mixed, po.
01:28 Saiki: This… this is our limit.
01:29 Cookie: What do you mean by your limit?
01:30 Kobato: (laughs)
01:31 Cookie: Does it come out at your limit?
01:31 Saiki: No… no more of this kind…
01:33 Cookie: (laughs)
01:34 Rossy: That would be confusing.
01:35 Cookie: Uh-huh.
[Highlights]
01:38 Cookie: Po po po po po po po po po po po po…
01:39 Cookie: Po po po po po po po po po, po po po po po…
01:40 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
01:41 Narrator: Cookie is infected too!! Today is the Po Po Po Festival!… or not…
01:46 Nesmith: Off stage, she doesn’t say it.
01:48 Cookie: That’s not good.
01:49 Narrator: Nesmith of Exile reveals a suspected fabrication of “po po po”!
01:55 [Caption] World rockstars’ favorite Osaka specialties!
01:55 Narrator: And Osaka has restaurants that world rockstars loved!
02:00 [Caption] Reporter: Ioka of the world
02:00 Narrator: The reporter is that guy who knows the world!
02:05 Kobato: He doesn’t say a single word, po.
02:07 Cookie: Once his wife came.
02:10 [Opening] Ongaku Bakudan
02:13 Rossy: Now, we’d like to dive deeper into Band-Maid… po!
02:18 Kobato: Po!
02:19 Cookie: Yes, thank you for your support.
02:19 Saiki: Thank you so much.
02:19 Kobato: Thank you for your support, po.
02:20 Rossy: Here is the Bakudan Board.
02:21 Cookie: Oh, po po po po po po po po, po.
02:23 Rossy: This is great. Let’s see what it’s going to be like.
02:23 [Board] Let’s take a listen to their signature song, po! A tip-off from Exile, po! World rockstars’ favorite Osaka specialties, po! The world champion and Jun-ichi Sumi, po! Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi-san, waiting for you, po! Next week is Mayonaka Ichiba, po!
02:26 Cookie: Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi-san… is waiting for you, po.
02:28 Kobato: Is he waiting for us, po?
02:29 Rossy: We made him an offer.
02:30 Cookie: This is a little too much…
02:31 Kobato: Is that true, po? (laughs)
02:32 Rossy: [Note: the lower 3 items] Honestly, these below here are, um, our directors and writers’ jokes.
02:36 Kobato: Oh.
02:36 Saiki: Oh (laughs), I see.
02:38 Rossy: These are, po, jokes.
02:39 Saiki: OK, I see.
02:39 Kobato: Are they jokes, po?
02:39 Rossy: Sorry, up to here.
02:42 Narrator: Our staff’s joking aside, first of all, let’s take a listen to Band-Maid’s signature song, po!
(Thrill)
02:53 Cookie: Are maids only in Japan?
02:54 Kobato: Well, maids like this are part of Japanese culture…
02:57 Cookie: Like… like lolita fashion?
02:58 Kobato: Oh, yes, po.
02:59 Cookie: Uh-huh, Japanese culture. Uh-huh.
03:02 Narrator: Over 170 million views on YouTube! Their most popular song is this, Thrill!
03:12 Narrator: Band-Maid are highly acclaimed overseas, and the comments section is like this!
03:19 Cookie: Oh, wow, awesome!
03:20 Kobato: Yes, it’s awesome, po.
03:21 Rossy: I can’t read them at all. Do you know those languages?
03:23 Kobato: No, I mean, there are so many comments in languages I don’t know, po.
03:26 Rossy: It’s like a foreign country.
03:26 Cookie: Aha, I get it. It’s from Mexico.
03:28 Kobato: Not only in English.
03:29 Rossy: Great.
03:36 Cookie: Oh? You have a lot of vocalists.
03:38 Kobato: Oh, us two, po.
03:39 Cookie: Oh, just two. Oh, the two of you.
03:40 Kobato: Well, it was quite a long time ago, so…
03:42 Saiki: It was long ago.
03:43 Kobato: … um… our faces look a little different, po, right?
03:46 Cookie: (laughs)
03:49 Rossy: How long ago was this?
03:50 Saiki: It was… 8 years…
03:50 Kobato: It was… about 8 years ago…
03:54 Rossy: Oh, it was quite a long time ago.
03:55 Saiki: Yes.
03:56 Saiki: That’s the song that started it all.
03:58 Cookie: Uh-huh, so that’s where it all started.
04:00 Kobato: Yes, exactly, po.
04:01 Rossy: Did you say “po, po” at that time?
04:03 Kobato: At that time, our manager didn’t allow me to do so, po.
04:06 Cookie: Uh-huh, even though you wanted.
04:07 Kobato: In the beginning, um, I said it, po, but he told me to really stop it, so I stopped… I was forced to stop it for some time, po.
04:14 Rossy: But now they love it all over the world, right?
04:16 Kobato: Yes, po, then our managers changed…
04:19 Cookie: “Hooray!” Like “Hooray!”
04:20 Kobato: Like “I will say it from now on, po”.
04:21 Cookie: Liberation of self.
04:22 Kobato: I liberated myself, po.
04:23 Rossy: Wow, that’s amazing.
04:23 Kobato: (laughs)
04:24 Cookie: So, um, I don’t have much to do with maids…
04:27 Kobato: (laughs) That must be so, po.
04:28 Cookie: I’ve seen them only in porns.
04:29 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
04:31 Kobato: Rather, you have something to do with them there, po, right?
04:32 Saiki: Your recognition, though.
04:33 Cookie: How far… I’m wondering how far I can talk.
04:34 Kobato: Uh-huh, I see, po, I see, po.
04:35 Saiki: (laughs)
04:36 Rossy: How many years have passed since your formation?
04:38 Kobato: We will have our 10th anniversary this year, po.
04:39 Cookie: Oh, congratulations (applause).
04:40 Rossy: Uh-huh, it’s just around the corner.
04:40 Saiki: Thank you so much.
04:41 Kobato: Thank you very much, po.
04:43 Rossy: How did you all meet?
04:45 Kobato: How we met is this. I, Kobato, originally used to work part-time at maid cafés, po, in reality.
04:48 Rossy: Oh, really? I see.
04:50 Kobato: I used to work also in Akihabara, po, but I also liked bands at the same time, so I ended up forming a band called Band-Maid by combining the two things, and I started to gather other members, po.
05:02 Rossy: Did you take applications?
05:04 Kobato: Um, our guitarist, Kanami-chan, posted cover videos and the like, um, on YouTube, and I found her there, po.
05:12 Cookie: Uh-huh.
05:13 Kobato: Then, Kanami invited our drummer Akane…
05:16 Cookie: Oh, I see.
05:17 Kobato: Then, our drummer Akane invited our bassist Misa, who went to the same music school as her…
05:23 Cookie: Uh-huh.
05:25 Kobato: When the four of us started like “All right, let’s go, po”, we were like “It sounds a little too bright with just Kobato’s voice, po”…
05:30 Cookie: Uh-huh, your voice was too pop.
05:31 Kobato: That’s right, po. I thought “I want a cooler voice too”, and then in our company, um, they found Sai-chan, who was alone doing nothing at all… (laughs)
05:39 Cookie: It’s not that she did nothing at all, right?
05:39 Rossy: No kidding.
05:40 Saiki: There was something I was doing.
05:41 Cookie: You were like this, you were wandering in the office like this.
05:42 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
05:44 Cookie: You did something then, right?
05:44 Saiki: Yes, I did something.
05:44 Kobato: Just something.
05:45 Saiki: I was working alone (laughs).
05:46 Kobato: By herself (laughs).
05:47 Cookie: Uh-huh, I guess so.
05:49 Cookie: Anyway, going overseas is beyond imagination for us… us from the island tribe who hang out around Lake Biwa.
05:56 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
05:59 Kobato: The video of Thrill you have just watched, was, um, our first MV, po, and about a half year after we released it, we suddenly had a huge increase in access from overseas, po.
06:10 Cookie: What?
06:11 Rossy: Uh-huh.
06:12 Saiki: There was a Facebook page that introduces Japanese pop culture to overseas people, and it was posted there (laughs).
06:20 Cookie: Oh, I see.
06:22 Kobato: No one in our company knew anything about it, po.
06:23 Saiki: No one knew.
06:24 Rossy: Oh, you didn’t know. Such a strange thing happened to you, right?
06:26 Cookie: Like “Look, cute maids are singing cool”…
06:27 Kobato: Oh, that’s right, po.
06:28 Cookie: Someone posted it with a pop and everyone started watching it.
06:30 Kobato: With a bang.
06:31 Saiki: Yes.
06:31 Cookie: Whoa, awesome.
06:32 Kobato: Po.
06:32 Cookie: I’m jealous.
06:34 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
06:36 Cookie: In my case I’m determined to wear only a gakuran [note: old-style Japanese school uniform, typical of the ’80s bad boys]…
06:38 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
06:39 Cookie: But I’ve got no overseas reaction at all (laughs).
06:40 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
06:42 Rossy: How are Japanese gakuran going?
06:44 Cookie: Japanese gakuran are no use.
06:45 Rossy: Let’s go on to the next.
06:46 Kobato: Po!
06:47 Rossy: Next, a tip-off from Exile, po.
06:47 Cookie: You’re awesome, indeed.
06:49 Rossy: This is great. Who among them? Let’s check it out.
06:54 Narrator: A tip-off about Band-Maid is from…
06:56 Rossy: Who?
06:58 Kobato: Po.
06:58 Saiki: (laughs)
07:00 Nesmith: Uh, you two of Yasei Bakudan, and Band-Maid’s, uh, Kobato, and Sai-chan, good evening! I’m Exile Nesmith.
07:05 Cookie: Awesome.
07:06 Rossy: Nesmith-san. Great.
07:07 Kobato: Po.
07:08 Narrator: What a surprise, he is a vocalist-performer of Exile and Exile The Second, Nesmith!
07:16 Narrator: The maid style and the urban guy style might seem opposite at first glance…
07:19 [Caption] There seems to be no connection
07:21 Cookie: I don’t think there’s any connection. What is it?
07:23 Nesmith: Well, Kobato is, uh, from the same hometown of Kumamoto as me…
07:26 Cookie: Ah, that makes sense.
07:28 Nesmith: I met her in Kumamoto before she came to Tokyo, and I was a little shocked like “What? Is there a girl this cute in Kumamoto?” when I saw her… That was my first impression.
07:39 Cookie: Whoa.
07:40 Saiki: (laughs)
07:44 Nesmith: She was thinking of moving to Tokyo, and, um, she was interested in working in the music industry like this, but she didn’t know anyone there, so she couldn’t decide what she should do…
07:57 Nesmith: So I was like “Well, at least I’m there, so why don’t you move there?” (laughs) She was like “OK, I understand, I’ll go to Tokyo” and then she came to Tokyo, and that’s how it all started, kind of.
08:14 [Caption] Without Nesmith, Kobato wouldn’t have become what she is now
08:15 Kobato: Crazy, this scene is crazy. A crazy scene.
08:17 Cookie: What the hell is “Mehhh”? (laughs)
08:21 Saiki: Oh, the “pyon” is used (laughs).
08:22 Cookie: (laughs)
08:24 [Caption] We asked him about “po”
08:32 Nesmith: Well, I also have a kind of music program, and I often have the opportunity to interview the two of them, and, um, Miku Kobato talks like “po po, po po” there, so I think “Oh, she’s so consistent”… (laughs)
08:50 Saiki: “Consistent” (laughs).
08:51 Cookie: What does “consistent” mean?
08:52 Nesmith: There are a lot of moments when I think “Awesome, she’s a pro”.
08:57 Nesmith: Off stage… off stage, she doesn’t say it.
09:01 Cookie: That’s not good.
09:02 Kobato: (laughs)
09:03 Cookie: This is bad news.
09:03 Nesmith: She sometimes talks naturally in the Kumamoto dialect.
09:09 Nesmith: She sometimes says “Nan’ya” or “Nannanbai” (laughs).
09:13 Kobato: That’s what Nes-san says, po.
09:15 Nesmith: She’s like that, quite opposite of “po” (laughs).
09:20 Cookie: [Note: I can’t hear well]
09:23 Nesmith: Uh, you two of Yasei Bakudan, if there’s any chance, uh, please kindly invite me to your show Ongaku Bakudan!
09:30 Cookie: Your fee is too high (laughs).
09:31 Nesmith: Well then, that’s all from Exile Nesmith, po!
09:34 Cookie: Po.
09:34 Nesmith: Thank you very much, po!
09:35 Cookie: Thanks a lot!
09:36 Rossy: Great.
09:37 Kobato: Didn’t he say only insane things just now?
09:38 Rossy: Yes, because it’s a tip-off, you know.
09:40 Saiki: It was really a tip-off.
09:41 Saiki: No, she does say it backstage…
09:45 Kobato: I’ll get lectured, po (laughs), if I say it.
09:47 Saiki: You’ll hate it if she says it outside, you know.
09:49 Kobato: (laughs)
09:50 Rossy: Of course.
09:50 Cookie: That makes sense.
09:51 Saiki: Yeah.
09:52 Kobato: I get lectured, po, so often.
09:53 Saiki: You know, you’ll absolutely look at her like “Hmm?”
09:55 Rossy: Yeah, yeah, you’ll look at her.
09:57 Saiki: So, um, I don’t want them to think we’re in the same group (laughs).
10:03 Kobato: When I say “po” in front of Nes-san, he laughs sooo much, po.
10:06 Cookie: Uh-huh, also because you’re from the same hometown.
10:08 Kobato: He teases me a lot about it…
10:09 Cookie: So, uh, can you do this? Um, for example, instead of putting “po” here and there seriously, what if you said “po po po po po po po po po, po po po po po” beforehand…
10:16 Kobato: Oh, that might have been better, po.
10:18 Cookie: Like “Just a moment, Nesmith-san, po po po po po po po po po po po po”…
10:20 Kobato: Po po po po (laughs).
10:22 Kobato: Po-pooling!
10:23 Saiki: What… (laughs)
10:23 Cookie: Yeah, po-pooling, po-pooling.
10:23 Kobato: Aha, po-pooling! I see, po. I’ll do it from next time on, po.
10:25 Saiki: Like a withdrawal symptom from it (laughs).
10:26 Cookie: If you say so, um, if you do it, I think he will be like “Whoa!”
10:29 Kobato: Good point.
10:30 Rossy: All right, let’s go on to the next.
10:31 Kobato: Yes.
10:31 Rossy: The next one is this.
10:31 Kobato: Po.
10:31 Rossy: World rockstars’ favorite Osaka specialties, po. I wonder what this is.
10:35 Kobato: Po.
10:36 Cookie: Ah. But, you know, aren’t you guys pretty particular about your food? Are you OK with this? Do you eat ordinary food, like, katsudon?
10:42 Kobato: Oh, yes, po, we eat it, po. Oh, the day before recording, you eat a katsudon…
10:45 Saiki: I eat a katsudon the day before.
10:47 Cookie: No, why, that’s lame.
10:49 Saiki: To win. [Note: Japanese people wish good luck with the pun of katsudon and “katsu” (“to win”).]
10:50 Cookie: That’s exactly why it’s lame!
10:51 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
10:51 Cookie: It’s freaking lame.
10:52 Rossy: You dare to do it.
10:53 Saiki: And, also, I eat udon on the day of recording.
10:56 Cookie: What for?
10:56 Rossy: Uh-huh.
10:57 Saiki: Um, to wish my voice will be elastic and long.
10:59 Kobato: (laughs)
11:00 Rossy: What, no one does such a thing (laughs).
11:01 Cookie: That’s freaking lame, right?
11:02 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
11:03 Cookie: Don’t use your low-pitched voice to slowly say a lame thing.
11:04 Saiki: Wishing good luck… I like wishing good luck.
11:10 Narrator: Band-Maid, active around the world, should definitely know about world rockstars’ favorite Osaka specialties we introduce now, in order to keep spreading their wings to the world!
11:13 Cookie: Wow, awesome.
11:23 Narrator: Our reporter is…
11:25 Cookie: Oh? It’s the WBC.
11:26 Kobato: I see, po.
11:28 Ioka: Hello, Yasei Bakudan and Band-Maid. I’m Hiroki Ioka. Nice to meet you.
11:34 Saiki: Oh?
11:35 Rossy: Hold on.
11:35 Kobato: Does he pronounce it right, po?
11:36 Cookie: No, he doesn’t.
11:37 Kobato: (laughs)
11:38 Narrator: A man who knows the world just like Band-Maid. Chairman Ioka!
11:42 Cookie: I… I want subtitles for all his words.
11:46 Narrator: A former WBC minimumweight world champion and former WBA light-flyweight world champion, and now the chairman of Ioka Boxing Gym!
11:47 Cookie: Awesome jabs. He was a strong champion.
11:50 Kobato: Awesome, po.
11:56 Narrator: Now, let’s go!
11:57 Saiki: Outside?! (laughs)
11:59 Ioka: “Ioka the Man goes around the corner”.
12:01 Kobato: She was weirded out a little, po.
12:03 Cookie: (laughs)
12:04 Narrator: The first one is a taiyaki shop near Nakazakicho Station.
12:07 Cookie: Taiyaki.
12:07 Narrator: Which rockstar of the world visited here?!
12:11 [Caption] Osaka Naniwaya, Nakazaki, Kita, Osaka
12:11 Ioka: Uh, hello. I’m I… Ioka.
12:13 Taiyaki cook: Hello.
12:13 Cookie: “I’m I… Ioka”.
12:14 Taiyaki cook: Wow, your belt is great.
12:15 Ioka: I just put my champion belt on.
12:17 Taiyaki cook: They have been active at the forefront since the ’80s…
12:21 Ioka: OK.
12:22 Taiyaki cook: A five-piece group.
12:24 Ioka: A five-piece group?
12:25 Taiyaki cook: Yes. Who do you think they are?
12:27 Ioka: Godiego.
12:28 Cookie: He’s so fast.
12:29 Taiyaki cook: They are Americans.
12:31 Ioka: America?
12:31 Saiki: Oh, Americans.
12:32 Taiyaki cook: Armageddon… made them famous.
12:35 Ioka: Ultraman.
12:37 Cookie: This is hopeless.
12:38 Ioka: Wrong?
12:39 Taiyaki cook: They are Something-Smith. Who are they?
12:40 Cookie: Name Americans (laughs).
12:42 Cookie: Oh, great.
12:42 Ioka: Jun-ichi Sumi [note: an announcer in Osaka].
12:44 Cookie: So, why Sumi-san?
12:45 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
12:45 Taiyaki cook: That was a quick answer.
12:47 Ioka: Wrong?
12:48 Taiyaki cook: That’s a wrong answer.
12:50 Narrator: Chairman, you seem a little dizzy from a punch in the past.
12:53 Cookie: Hey, don’t say such a thing (laughs).
12:55 Ioka: Do you have a picture or something?
12:56 Taiyaki cook: Oh, yes, I do.
12:56 [Caption] The correct answer is
12:57 Taiyaki cook: I have a picture on display.
13:00 Ioka: OK.
13:00 Taiyaki cook: The correct answer is Aerosmith.
13:03 Ioka: Oh, Aerosmith?
13:05 [Caption] Steven Tyler
13:05 Kobato: He has such a tiny face, po, right?
13:07 Cookie: I didn’t know his face is that tiny. He looks almost like Naoko Ken [note: a female Japanese singer in the ’80s].
13:10 Kobato: (laughs)
13:11 Taiyaki cook: They were at a concert venue in Osaka, near the South Port, and asked me to bake, so I brought this whole taiyaki machine there and cooked between the dressing room and the stage like catering service.
13:24 Ioka: Wasn’t that hard work?
13:26 Taiyaki cook: Yes, it was. There were Aerosmith and their staff, over 200 people in total.
13:30 Ioka: Uh-huh.
13:31 Taiyaki cook: So, um, Steven Tyler-san loves taiyaki so much that he ate one before going on stage, and ate another one after coming back from the stage all sweaty.
13:32 Kobato: Oh, awesome, po. He’s pinching the tail, po.
13:42 Ioka: Uh-huh.
13:43 Taiyaki cook: And he was going back to the US right after that, so thankfully he took ten of them with him.
13:47 Ioka: Uh-huh.
13:48 Taiyaki cook: Well, um, it looks like they flew on their private jet…
13:50 Ioka: A private jet?!
13:51 Taiyaki cook: Yes.
13:52 Ioka: That’s awesome.
13:52 Taiyaki cook: I guess he ate taiyaki again on the flight.
13:54 Ioka: Oh, of course, I’m sure he ate it like “I’m sooo hungry”.
13:59 Cookie: There’s no way he said so.
14:00 Saiki: (laughs)
14:02 [Caption] Taiyaki 200 yen
14:02 Ioka: So, now I’ll have a taiyaki Aerosmith had.
14:05 Rossy: Looks delicious.
14:07 Saiki: Crispy?
14:10 Ioka: Mmm, delicious.
14:13 Saiki: Really?
14:13 Ioka: It’s mildly sweet, or rather, it’s not too sugary, and it’s easy to eat, so I would eat 3 or 4 of them. It’s really like that.
14:23 Ioka: I’m on a diet for a while so I can’t eat a lot, but if I weren’t, I could probably eat about 10 of them.
14:28 Saiki, Kobato: Wow.
14:29 Ioka: 8… I could eat about 8 of them. It’s a piece of cake to eat 8 of them.
14:32 Cookie: 8 pieces.
14:34 Kobato: 2 pieces are gone, po (laughs).
14:35 Staff: To be honest, how many pieces do you think you can eat if you try?
14:38 Ioka: 9 pieces.
14:39 Kobato: (laughs) Hold on!
14:41 Ioka: “Ioka the Man goes around the corner”.
14:45 Narrator: The second one is an okonomiyaki shop in Grand Front Osaka.
14:46 Rossy: He’s in a great place. Is he all right?
14:50 Narrator: The world rockstars who visited here are…
14:51 [Caption] Omoni Grand Front Osaka, Ofukacho, Kita, Osaka
14:55 Okonomiyaki cook: Something and Something.
14:58 Cookie: What?
14:58 Kobato: Aha.
14:59 Ioka: “And”?
15:00 Okonomiyaki cook: “And”.
15:00 Ioka: “And” reminds me of Tadao Ando-san.
15:03 Kobato: No (laughs). It’s in the middle, po.
15:03 Okonomiyaki cook: Bzzt.
15:05 Okonomiyaki cook: “And” is in the middle, OK?
15:06 Ioka: Uh-huh, in the middle.
15:08 Okonomiyaki cook: Something and Something.
15:10 Ioka: Uh-huh.
15:13 Ioka: Uh, Highheel & Momoko.
15:16 Okonomiyaki cook: She’s not a rock band, OK?
15:17 Cookie: No, no, she’s Highheel Momoko [note: a Japanese comedian].
15:17 Ioka: Is that wrong?
15:18 Okonomiyaki cook: She’s not a rock band.
15:20 Okonomiyaki cook: They came to Japan in 2017, to perform in Osaka, at Kyocera Dome.
15:30 Ioka: So they did a concert there and came here, right?
15:32 Okonomiyaki cook: Yeah, exactly.
15:34 Narrator: Chairman Ioka is about to be knocked out! Miku Kobato-san, we have no choice but to ask you to answer in place of him!
15:42 Kobato: I got it this time, po. Guns N’ Roses.
15:46 Cookie: Wow.
15:47 Kobato: Po.
15:49 Kobato: He goes on and on. Pretty intense.
15:53 Cookie: After finishing it, what the hell is this?
15:54 Kobato: (laughs)
15:54 Okonomiyaki cook: The correct answer is Guns N’ Roses’ Axl Rose-san.
16:02 Ioka: Oh. Axl Rose-san.
16:03 Okonomiyaki cook: Did you get it?
16:04 Ioka: Yes.
16:04 Okonomiyaki cook: Did you get it?
16:06 Narrator: The correct answer is Guns N’ Roses’ Axl Rose!
16:10 Kobato: I knew, po.
16:11 Narrator: He enjoyed okonomiyaki and yakisoba to the fullest with his wife and a few staff members.
16:16 [Caption] Signature Omoni-yaki (pork, squid, shrimp, scallop, egg) 1,500 yen
16:16 Narrator: He seems to have liked it so much that his staff took the same dish to the concert venue the next day!
16:21 [Caption] Special Champon (beef tendon, kimchi, green onion, cabbage) 2,000 yen
16:21 Cookie: Looks yummy.
16:22 Saiki: Looks delicious.
16:23 Kobato: Wow, it looks delicious, po, this champon.
16:25 Ioka: Mmm! It’s soft and delicious!
16:30 Ioka: This is really yummy.
16:32 Okonomiyaki cook: We use almost no flour in it.
16:34 Cookie: Uh-huh.
16:35 Kobato: Uh-huh.
16:35 Okonomiyaki cook: With a lot of cabbage.
16:36 Ioka: This cabbage.
16:37 Okonomiyaki cook: Yes, it is. Also, you can’t have this yakisoba anywhere else, absolutely.
16:43 Okonomiyaki cook: This is a rare one with both udon and soba.
16:46 Ioka: Oh, you’re right.
16:46 Kobato: Really? Oh, right.
16:47 Okonomiyaki cook: Yes, it is.
16:48 Staff: Can I ask you to do a food report by comparing it to boxing moves?
16:49 Cookie: Oh, that’s why it’s named champon. [Note: “champon” means “mixed together”.]
16:50 Kobato: Oh, I see, po!
16:51 Ioka: Yes.
16:53 Ioka: Uh, the lef… the left is very important… the most important thing, in boxing. There’s a saying that “He who rules with his left rules the world”.
17:01 Ioka: So, a left jab, a left uppercut, a left hook, three in a row, knocked you out.
17:07 Okonomiyaki cook: …
17:08 Saiki: (laughs)
17:08 Ioka: It’s delicious.
17:09 Cookie: This is insane.
17:12 Kobato: This is insane, po.
17:13 Ioka: Ioka the Man. Of this report, I have no regrets! [Note: a reference to Raoh.]
17:19 Cookie: Of course you have no regrets in this.
17:19 Narrator: The last one is this fashionable ramen shop.
17:22 Cookie: “Ramen War”.
17:23 Kobato: Oh, this is a ramen shop, po.
17:24 [Caption] Ramen Daisenso Senba-Shinsaibashi, Minami-Kyuhojimachi, Chuo, Osaka
17:24 Ioka: This is such a cozy shop. It doesn’t look like a ramen shop, right?
17:25 Cookie: Oh, is it like this?
17:28 Ioka: Right? What’s this?
17:29 Emi Ioka: It’s so fashionable. Kind of American, in the New York style?
17:31 Cookie: Don’t know who she is.
17:33 Emi Ioka: Um, I’m Ioka’s wife. I’m Emi.
17:35 Cookie: Oh, is she?!
17:35 Kobato: His wife!
17:37 Ioka: Yes, today is her first time shooting.
17:39 Ramen cook: Yes.
17:39 Emi Ioka: Um, I’ve heard a rockstar visited this shop frequently.
17:42 Cookie: His wife keeps the show going.
17:43 Saiki: He suddenly stoppped talking!
17:44 Kobato: Seriously, po?
17:44 Cookie: So his wife is his coach.
17:45 Ramen cook: Yes. Bruno Mars-san visited here.
17:47 Saiki: Whoa?!
17:49 Emi Ioka: Bruno Mars. Awesome.
17:49 [Caption] He visited here at the time of his shows at Kyocera Dome Osaka in October last year
17:52 Emi Ioka: That’s wonderful.
17:54 Cookie: Ioka is silent (laughs).
17:56 Kobato: He doesn’t say a single word, po.
17:58 Cookie: Once his wife came (laughs).
17:59 Kobato: Yeah.
18:00 Ramen cook: I think he performed for 3 days, and he visited us 4 times or so.
18:05 Emi Ioka: What?
18:06 Saiki: 4 times?
18:07 Kobato: Awesome, po.
18:08 Ramen cook: There was even a day when he visited us in the morning and again in the evening.
18:10 Kobato: Oh?!
18:10 Saiki: Whoa?!
18:11 Rossy: Great.
18:12 Ramen cook: I guess he visited us really just by chance, but when I saw people waiting in line first thing in the morning, I was like “Oh? There’s a foreigner waiting in line”.
18:19 Cookie: Whoa?!
18:20 Emi Ioka: Bruno Mars was waiting in line?
18:22 Kobato: Whoa, that’s awesome, po!
18:23 Rossy: Great.
18:24 Saiki: Awesome.
18:25 Ramen cook: He waited in line all 4 times.
18:26 Saiki: What?!
18:27 Ramen cook: Bruno Mars-san had a ramen named “Pistol”…
18:32 Kobato: “Pistol”?
18:32 Ramen cook: We named it so because we can serve it as quickly as a pistol bullet.
18:35 Kobato: Uh-huh.
18:38 [Caption] 3 minutes later
18:41 Rossy: That’s great.
18:42 Cookie: She gets her hips in properly.
18:43 Saiki: Properly.
18:43 Kobato: Sure. She’s solid, po.
18:44 Emi Ioka: Oh, here it comes! Thank you so much.
18:48 Emi Ioka: Wow, awesome!
18:49 Saiki: Awesome!
18:50 [Caption] Kansai-dashi shoyu ramen Pistol 810 yen
18:50 Emi Ioka: It also has a vibrant appearance.
18:51 Kobato: It looks so beautiful, po.
18:52 Emi Ioka: Great for Instagram! It looks delicious.
19:00 Emi Ioka: It has a clear taste. Not too heavy.
19:05 Ramen cook: We use rare-cooked char siu…
19:06 Emi Ioka: Rare-cooked char siu.
19:06 Ramen cook: Yes. We import it all the way from Italy.
19:09 Emi Ioka: It’s delicious. What did Bruno Mars-san say?
19:14 Ramen cook: He kept saying “Arigato, arigato” in broken Japanese and left, and he also did something like this for us when he was about to leave.
19:23 Ioka: Thank you very much.
19:24 Emi Ioka: Arigato (laughs). [Note: said with an English accent.]
19:28 Emi Ioka: Bruno Mars said that, so I tried to do an impression of him (laughs).
19:33 Narrator: Now we have an urgent announcement!
19:35 Kobato: I wonder what this is, po?
19:36 Narrator: What a surprise, the two of them made their CD debut the other day!
19:39 [Caption] Kawachiya Kikusuimaru & the Iokas, The Hiroki Ioka Story: The Road to Glory, Childhood Chapter now on sale!
19:40 Narrator: Good-bye with the great song, broadcast on TV for the first time!
19:41 Kobato: Duet?!
19:46 Cookie: This is tough to see (laughs).
19:53 Kobato: Does “Childhood Chapter” mean they will continue, po?
19:54 Cookie: They will continue. They will keep on and on like a road movie, probably?
19:57 Kobato: (laughs)
19:57 Saiki: (laughs)
19:58 Cookie: From his childhood.
19:59 Kobato: It’s quite…
20:00 Rossy: How was that? Was there any place you want to visit?
20:01 Cookie: Oh.
20:01 Kobato: Oh, at any rate, I was sooo interested in them all, po.
20:04 Kobato: You know, I really would love to visit there, but we have to go overseas so often that it’s hard to find the time… [Note: this is a joke.]
20:13 Cookie: Just eat f**king taiyaki. Buy them and share them with your mates, without saying “po, po”.
20:19 Cookie: Go buy them if you have time to say “po”.
20:21 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
20:24 Cookie: Who’re you… Stop showing off!!
20:25 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
20:27 Cookie: You little brats, I’m gonna kill you!
20:28 Saiki, Kobato: (laughs)
20:29 Rossy: Like “the world”.
20:30 Cookie: What the f**k is the world… I don’t care if you say “flying around the world, po”, but I’m doing this in my military uniform! [Note: gakuran looks like a military uniform.]
20:36 Cookie: [Note: I can’t hear well]
20:38 Rossy: No, no, never talk about the world.
20:41 Cookie: So outrageous.
20:42 Rossy: Is there anyone like this?
20:43 Saiki: Whoa, it’s huge! (laughs)
20:44 Rossy: You guys got on his bad side.
20:46 Kobato: Whoa, insane, it’s as huge as a cigar, po.
20:49 Rossy: This is insane.
20:50 Cookie: I don’t care about “po, po”.
20:50 Saiki: This is insane.
20:52 Cookie: Stand up.
20:52 Kobato: What?!
20:53 Rossy: This is insane.
20:53 Kobato: I… I stand up, po?
20:54 Saiki: Do we stand up?
20:54 Cookie: Hey, get your forehead out.
20:55 Saiki: She has such… such…
20:56 Kobato: My forehead? My forehead?
20:57 [Caption] An astonishing fact revealed!?
20:57 Narrator: It’s time for our routine cigarette execution… or not!
21:02 Cookie: (laughs)
21:05 Narrator: What happened to Cookie?! … But before going on to it.
21:13 Narrator: The Blu-ray/DVD of their solo concert at Tokyo Garden Theater held in January this year is now on sale!
21:26 [Caption] Takuto Onuki, Ongaku Bakudan DJ
21:26 Onuki: The audience was like that, even though with masks…
21:28 Kobato: That’s right, po, yeah.
21:28 Onuki: OK.
21:28 Saiki: That’s right. Cheering for the first time in a long time.
21:31 Kobato: It had been a long time.
21:33 Saiki: We were like “We were not alone” (laughs).
21:34 Kobato: Exactly, po. Um, we had the COVID pandemic before then. I, Kobato, tried my best but the audience didn’t cheer back, you know, po.
21:39 Onuki: Exactly, you’re right.
21:40 Kobato: So it was like doing a failed comedy all by myself, po.
21:42 Onuki: (laughs)
21:43 Saiki: A failed comedy (laughs).
21:45 Kobato: Um, it was the first situation in a long time where they cheered back, so that made us…
21:50 Saiki: Tearful.
21:51 Kobato: We were tearful, po.
21:54 Onuki: Well, sorry to interrupt you, but you are on a tour now…
21:56 Kobato: Po.
21:56 Onuki: And you will keep going. Will you come back to Kansai again?
21:58 Kobato: Yes.
21:59 Saiki: Yes.
21:59 Onuki: OK.
21:59 Kobato: We’ll come back here again, po.
22:00 Onuki: You will perform at Namba Hatch too. And your finish line is awesome, right?
22:01 Kobato: Yes.
22:04 Kobato: At Yokohama Arena.
22:05 Onuki: That’s truly amazing!
22:08 Kobato: For example, we have written a song that would be nice to sing along with all of them at Yokohama Arena…
22:16 Onuki: Wow!
22:17 Kobato: It’s going to come true, po, right?
22:19 Saiki: Yeah.
22:20 Onuki: Great. You had the COVID pandemic, but your five-year goal will finally come true…
22:24 Kobato: Yes, po.
22:25 Onuki: I’m impressed you are working on making it come true. Great.
22:31 [Caption] An astonishing fact will be revealed soon, po!
22:32 Rossy: You’re a half-bird half-human.
22:35 Rossy: This is an astonishing fact.
22:36 Cookie: What the hell? What?
(Commercials)
22:39 Cookie: Hey, get your forehead out.
22:40 Saiki: She has such… such…
22:40 Kobato: My forehead? My forehead?
22:41 Saiki: A tiny forehead.
22:41 Kobato: My forehead? But I have no forehead, po.
22:43 Cookie: Show it to me.
22:44 Kobato: I really don’t have a forehead, po (laughs).
22:46 Saiki: (laughs)
22:47 Rossy: You really have no forehead.
22:49 Cookie: Hey, are you Koji Kikkawa?
22:50 Saiki: (laughs)
22:52 Cookie: I’ve never seen such a… tiny forehead. Go home.
22:55 Kobato: I’m relieved, I was saved because I have no forehead, po.
22:57 Saiki: You were saved.
22:57 Cookie: You were saved, right?
22:57 Kobato: I was saved, po.
22:58 Cookie: But you want some forehead, no?
22:59 Kobato: Actually I want some forehead, po.
23:01 Cookie: Do your best. Save money and, um, go to Takasu Clinic [note: a well-known plastic surgeon].
23:03 Saiki: (laughs)
23:03 Kobato: Oh, yes, po. Um, I sometimes… shave it, po.
23:07 Cookie: (laughs)
23:07 Rossy: So you’re doing your best.
23:09 Cookie: Sorry for making you show your weird part.
23:10 Kobato: (laughs)

Like its just bad. Anon profiles that don't require any sort of validation can just pop up and message out of the blue. You turn one down or block, they pop right back up with a acid laced tirade. Oh sure, give us the option to block chats from Anon profiles, but why put it behind a paywall? Why are there no limits to how many anon profiles someone can make? Put a limit in, like two per 48 hours or something like that
Like everything is seemingly behind a paywall, even basic features that Grindr and other apps have for free. For example, I gotta pay to have multiple pictures? I gotta pay to travel (explore)?
Lack of filters. I can't filter by age, height, weight, position, tribe, etc. This app is four years old and the thought has never once occured to the devs to add these? These should have been in from the start!
Same trash as other apps. Pic Collectors. Time Wasters. People who can't be bothered to read profiles. I got a cock and ass shot on my profile, yet I'm still getting asked for pics? What more do y'all need?!?People who can't be bothered to read the active conversation. I've been asked the same damn question multiple times in the same conversation. This isn't really an app problem, more of a location problem, but like.. honestly, one thing I'd love to see on this app or another app is to suggest to others to read a bio prior to sending a message. Just a little popup that says "hey have you read this person's bio? yes or no" yes allows them to continue, no exits the convo and tells them to read it
And deleting conversations is obviously a huge no no that I learned the hard way. Like okay, I can relate to deleting message mid convo - annoying. But like I send a message, its seen, no response, person is on hours afterwards, I send a followup, seen, still no response - I delete it and get cussed out? I get a message, I respond, the person sees my response but doesn't respond, active on app hours later, send followup message, still no response I delete the message, I get cussed out? Why?!? Is there some specific reason myself or the other party needs to be notified that the convo was deleted? That is just opening up the door for people to be harassed and potentially stalked. That's not safe
I'm gonna go get my refund

[←Chapter 63] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 65→]
In a rare moment, Sorore was actually having a nice dream, a normal one, one could even say. She was back home, in that moderately seized house in Erratz, laying on her mother’s lap. She could even hear the gentle sound that the needle made as it went in and out of the cloth. It was peaceful, pleasant, surrounded by familiar sound and smells, though her sight was blurry and confused.
It was not to last, as the sound of rushing water overtook all else, until she was forced awake by its unrelenting pace. When she sat up, rubbing her eyes in the broad bed, she released that it wasn’t the sound of water, nor was it relegated to her dreams. There was a commotion outside people talking in hushed but harsh tones.
Neither Lillian, nor Aya were within the room, and she wondered if they were having an argument. That wouldn’t be good - she’d watched them have the spat earlier, and that dispute didn’t need much worsening. Sorore crept to the door to the outer hallway - she loved how they slid to create whole new rooms. It was something she’d have to think about more she decided as she pulled it open and realised several things at once.
One, there were a whole lot of armoured figures in the hallway, at least four, maybe half a dozen. Two, the balcony door was open, and Lillian was currently arguing with one of them, Aya standing by looking like a mining explosive had gone off right next to her. Three, her brother and Niche had just emerged out of the room beside, and Niche was about to draw his sword at the sudden intrusion.
For a moment, she panicked, her mind going completely blank. Her mind raced with visions of bloody aftermath, and a chase through the city, back to the dinner she’d had with all those nice people.
“Oh, hello!” she blurted, drawing the surprised stares of several of the men, “who might you be?”
There was an instant of shocked silence between all parties.
“Nobody do anything!” called the man who was out on the porch, “We are representatives of the sand-shell legion, on behalf of the matriarch of the Eisen. We have come to retrieve her granddaughter.”
Niche lowered his hand from his sword belt, but Sorore could tell that he was ready to fight on a moment’s provocation. She also noticed that Kieren, in the same gown she’d worn to the square was standing in the stairwell. The woman looked so nervous Sorore thought she might fall over and down the stairs.
“Let’s move to a less cramped area,” said the captain, in a tone that brook no argument.
Eventually, it was sussed out, though not without considerable resistance on part of the paladins, that they were to meet in the great hall. As they sat, they were brought simple drinks of milk and honey, flavoured with something else that Sorore could not quite place. The two paladins looked like pacing cats, constrained on their chairs, arms crossed and eyes hard.
“Under no circumstances can we give one of ours into you custody,” said Lillian, locked in a match with the captain.
“Within the city, you are under the authority of the guard, no matter who you are. If the matriach has sent for this girl, then we have our orders.”
“As do we, captain,” said Niche, “to protect and guide each of these young women and… man, unto the holy lands of Angorrah.”
One of the guards flanking the captain whispered something in his ear.
“She’s not going to like it,” the captain said, then heard something else.
“Very well. Bloodshed before the Festival would be unwise. We have enough of that already. Right then, one of you paladins, assuming you are who you say you are, shall come with us and the lady to be received by the Eisen. I cannot say it’s likely you will have a happy reception. They will expect you to come unarmed.”
The paladins were bristling at the implied threat, and several hands were already dangerously close to their sword belts. Sorore gripped the mug that she was being offered, before Aya sat up and proclaimed to the group.
“Leave two of your men with us, then,” she said.
The captain’s eyes furrowed.
“I don’t wish to second guess you, my lady,” he said, “but why would I do that?”
“Trust,” Aya said, with a side long look at Lillian, “simple. If you leave your men with us, you can’t simply waltz off with me and my friend. Plus, it gives us men who know, and can quickly get around the city, so they can find you whenever they need to.”
The captain considered, and nodded.
“Very well my lady. Two men will be left for the disposal of your party members. But you shall have to come with us, immediately.”
“Me as well,” said Lillian.
“As you wish,” he said, “but you must disarm yourself. That is non-negotiable.”
Lillian was fuming, but unbuckled her belt and handed her armaments to Niche. The legionaries surrounded them, and departed with them out the front of the pyramid. They were left in front of the roaring fire, Kieren sitting beside them holding a considerably more full glass of the amber coloured alcohol.
“You said that this-” Niche began, his face reddened, “you sold us out!”
“Sold you out?” said Kieren incuriously as she swirled the glass around, “sold you out?”
The woman slammed down the glass on one of the nearby table, somehow not breaking it in the process.
“Maybe, you should of told us that you had the granddaughter of Aystara godsdamned Eisen in your retinue? No, forgot that little detail?”
“Okay, can we get this over with?” said Frare, picking at his nails.
“What?” said both the paladin and the trader, staring at the temerity of the youth.
“Blah, blah, we’ve all kept things from eachother,” he said, “so let’s all move on. Who is this ‘Aystara’? Why is she important?”
While Niche gaped at the casual ease from which Frare dismissed the turbulence, the trader seemed to settle.
“Only one of the two most powerful people in the city, young man,” she said, downing a shot from the glass, “between her and Edmund Poutash, it’d be easier to list what they don’t own. The docks, the schools, the farms… if you want an import or export licence? You go through her. You want to own a ship bigger than a rinky-dink fishing boat? You go through her or Potash.”
She finished the glass, and reached for the decanter, and stopped herself.
“And you waltz into the city, and conveniently forget to mention that you have her granddaughter, who hasn’t been in the city ever, if I remember correctly. To say she’d be furious that you didn’t bring the young lady before her immediately would be an understatement. And worse, you dragged us into it.”
“She must be awfully mean - you had nothing to do with us. You just hosted it.”
The woman blinked at the boldfaced remark, and Sorore delivered a good kick to his shins to drive the point home.
“No, no,” she ultimately said, “no I don’t think she’ll do anything to our family, if she believes us. She’s not unreasonable. At least, so I’ve heard. I’ve only met her once, and that was for a brief time. As for what she’ll do to you...”
She gave a pointed look at Niche.
“You tried to hid her granddaughter from her, maybe unintentionally, maybe not. If I were a betting woman, which I’m not, I would say that means trouble. If you want my advice-”
“I don’t,” said Niche, crinkling his noise.
“Don’t be stupid,” said Frare, before he howled at another kick.
Sorore’s face was burning with indignation and embarrassment. This was all too much.
“If you want my advice,” Kieren pressed on, “you’d go find and talk to your commander immediately. I could fetch for him if you wish - I know where Amicio’s home is.”
Niche, through narrowed eyes and clenched teeth, acquiesced.
“Good, now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some letters to send,” she said, “of course, though this has earned you no small amount of displeasure from certain peoples, we’ve been instructed to provide you with house and board for as long as it takes to sort this out. You are still welcome guests and you will be treated as such.”
The tepid truce struck, the children were sent back up to their rooms. Sorore tried to sleep, and managed no more than half an hour before she was woken by her brother.
“The commander’s here,” he said, “he wants to talk to us.”
The commander, looking very tired, but light of step than Sorore had ever seen him, waited by the fire. He was talking with Kieren and the two remaining legionarries in the fast-paced trading tongue of the city, but stopped when he saw the girl come downstairs.
“My lady,” he said, “it seems there’s been a huge misunderstanding.”
She realized that it was his manner of dress which was throwing her off. Instead of his usual worn and thoroughly practical travelling clothes, he wore the long flowing silks of orange and cream. It suited him, matching his calm personality.
“What misunderstanding?” she said.
“Well, we had no idea that our own Aya was the granddaughter of Aystara Eisen herself. I was surprised as anyone. Of course, I knew she was an Eisen, from her mother.”
He looked at Kieren, who looked like she was about to fall asleep.
“But I never imagined that she was a direct descendent of the main house. I thought she was part of the branch, not necessary to cause any fuss, especially during the preparation of the festival. Ah!”
He slapped his head to indicate his shock at the realisation.
“What a terrible mistake I’ve made,” he said, patting the woman’s arm, “this is all on my horrendous lack of judgement. Here’s what’s going to happen, one of these gentlemen and trader Amicio will be vouching for me at the gate. I’m going to the Eisen estate and having a friendly chat with the matriarch, to clear up this misunderstanding.”
Sorore felt at last some suggestion that someone around the city knew what was happening and what they were going to do.
“Here’s what I need you and your brother to do,” Naia said, “I want you to wait and enjoy the hospitality of the madame of the house.”
The term seemed to flatter Kieren, who flushed at the complement. Or that might’ve been the drink, Sorore wasn’t entirely sure.
“Niche, you take care of them. I expect that I might be at the estate for the rest of the night, and possibly onto next afternoon. Things are always so chaotic around the Festival. There’s no reason for you not to attend the festival opening tomorrow, if you can.”
“You want us to attend a festival?” said Niche in disbelief, “right now?”
“Well, not right now, it hasn’t started yet,” said the commander, “but, if Kieren would graciouslly agree to take you as guest of honour, you’d have excellent seats. If that’s not too much to ask, especially after our little debacle.”
Kieren nodded, and affirmed that she wouldn’t mind at all, if the matter was going to be soon cleared up. Sorore was now certain that it wasn’t just alcohol.
“Great. You’re all taken care of, now I’d better explain myself. If you wouldn’t mind,” he said, pointing to the quarter full glass, which Kieren handed to him. The commander downed it all in one, rolled his shoulders, and smiled.
“Don’t worry. It’ll all work out in the end,” he said, “in fact, I would say to enjoy yourselves, as much as you can. And best go back to bed, unless you want to be sleeping during the festival, which, I assure you from experience, you do not.”
Before they could say anything, the commander had swept by them, vanishing out of the front of the pyramid.
“You should heed him,” said Kieren, picking up the decanter and the glass and moving towards the kitchens, “if you’re stuck here for the time being, you might as well enjoy it And that starts with getting good sleep.”
“Last time you said that, we woke up to armed guards,” Niche said flatly.
“Well, I assure you, I’m not boring enough to do that a second time. It would be assassin’s from across the streets, who approach over the rooftops.”
“Do they actually exist?” asked Frare, suddenly excited.
“Oh, I’m sure,” said Kieren as she stowed away her drinking equipment, “but not tonight. Go get some sleep sir paladin, and you two young ones as well. You’ll need it.”
Sorore was cajoled up the steps, Frare coming up after her. Niche seemed placated enough for the time being, though he was clearly unhappy with the outcome. The pleasant dreams neglected to revisit for a second time, but at least the sleep was uninterrupted. When Soroe next awoke, it was a young handmadein, pulling open the screen doors.
“Good morning, my lady,” she said, “how did you sleep?”
“I- well enough, I suppose,” she said, stretching and yawning, before quickly covering her mouth.
The maid had the presence of mind not to notice as she revealed the bright sunlight streaming through the open balcony.
“It must almost be midday!” Sorore exclaimed, leaping out of the bed as she tried to straighten herself.
The maid chuckled as she finished opening up the room.
“Not to fear, my lady,” she said, “it’s customary to sleep into the early afternoon. The Festival does not start until just before sunset, afterall. In fact, you might be earlier than many of the household.”
“Oh,” Soroe said, feeling rather foolish, “Um. Well, I guess I’ll get dressed.”
“Of course. I’ve left out some clothes for you. Madame Kieren suggested that you try clothes from our city. I hope you’ll love them. Do you bathe?”
Sorore wrinkled her nose at the prospect. What kind of question was that?
“Of course I do,” she said.
“Well, there’s a place to bath at the bottom of the pyramid. If you wish to bath alone, you should go now - I’ll bring you clothes for you to change at the waterfront.”
“You bathe together here?” Sorore said
“In the mornings and evenings,” she said, “we do not bring water up into the house if we cannot avoid it. To the stone goes the sea, and to the home goes the sky.”
She looked around, then leaned in with a smile.
“Also, water is very troublesome to carry up all those flights.”
“So just come down to the waterfront?” she said, gathering up what spare things she needed.
“Just follow me, my lady,” said the handmaiden, picking up a pile of clothes and leading her down the stairs.
They emerged onto an inset pool carved into the pyramid interior. A smooth stone deck, with benches and chairs and stacks of towels, as well as several large paper screens, presumably for changing. Sorore was glad to see they were alone, at least for the time being.
At the handmaid, Kiroe’s, direction, she stripped down naked and plunged into the pool. The water was a perfect temperature - cold enough to dispel the last of the grogginess, warm enough to be pleasant to float in. She swam around for a bit, constrained by the relatively small volume, while Kiroe prepared her outfit on the deck.
“Do you mind if I join you?” came a voice from the other end.
Kieren slipped out of a thin morning dress and stepped into the water. Sorore swam over and came to stand beside her.
“Is there any news? About Aya and the commander?” she said, a little too quickly.
Kieren, who’d been sinking into the water with a sigh of contentment, opened one eye.
“Straight to business? Perhaps you are better suited to the city than I thought.”
Sorore tried to smile, but her concern was betrayed, judging by the woman’s softening of expression.
“My knowledge is limited. My uncle is serving as our representative for now. Sounds like your commander was at least allowed to make his case to the Eisen. He made note of one other companion of yours.”
“Oh? Who?” she said, pushing out into the pool, feeling the water surge over her shoulders.
“A man in black clothes,” she said, “who hides his face behind a mask. He was there for the meeting.”
“The mage?” said Sorore, before considering that she maybe shouldn’t have mentioned it.
“A mage?” said Kieren, before submerging herself in the water.
She tossed her hair back as she came back up, spraying water in a neat arc.
“Well, that explains his odd demeanour,” she said, “now, regrettably, that’s all the time I have today for bathing. I will see you at the festival.”
“Hello cousin! May I join- oh,” came a voice from the steps leading out.
It was Ivers, dressed in nothing but a loose robe, which was already half-way off his body, sculpted with muscle from hauling rope and tackle. Sorore stifled a gasp and turned away, trying not to redden.
“I can come back later,” he offered.
“Do you mind?” Kieren said to Sorore, “if you do, it’d be best to finish soon and let others bathe.”
“No, no,” she said, waving her host away.
Kiero had warned her, after all. It would be best to become accustomed to the strange ways of this beautiful city. Besides, it’s not like she hadn’t bathed before in the company of men her age back home. She cursed herself for being so self-conscious, and forced herself to turn around.
“Are you sure? I can leave if you want, it’s not-” Ivers began.
“No, it’s fine. It’s fine,” Sorore said, smiling at him, “it’d be good to have companionship.”
“Well, then, Ivers, I trust you’ll behave yourself,” said Kieren rising from the water.
“Of course, cousin,” Ivers said, casting his eyes to the floor.
Sorore tried not to take a wicked pleasure at the blush that crept across his dark complexion.
“Oh, one more thing,” whispered her host, bending over to the girl, “it’s considered polite to not look when they’re outside the water.”
Kieren laughed at Sorore’s own furious blush as she made for one of the poolside changing screens.
[←Chapter 63] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 65→]

Hi all, planning on moving soon so I need some extra cash and less stuff to have to move. Happy to grab pictures of anything on demand. Shipping is not included in prices, $5 for first item and and extra $2 per item. Only shipping to the lower 48. More than happy to do bundle prices though so don't be afraid to make an offer. Only accepting Paypal F/F, venmo, or local cash.
Will grab pictures/timestamps of anything on request.
GB/C:
Pokemon Pinball (Loose, Rumble works): $20
Shantae Limited Run Collectors Edition GBC (CIB, Box slipcover thing has a big scratch on the back): $95
​
GBA (CIB unless stated otherwise):
GBA Video Pokemon For Ho-oh the Bells Toll (sealed): $80
Xevious classic NES series (sealed): $25
Mario Kart Super Circuit: $50
Lufia the Ruins of Lore (Box is very beat up): $125
Riviera the Promised land: $105
Lunar legend: $90
Star wars Trilogy Apprentice of the force: $40
Harvest Moon Friends of Mineral town (loose): $25
​
DS (CIB unless stated otherwise):
New Super Mario Bros (loose): $5
Tao's Adventure Curse of the Demon Seal (loose): $15
Tamagotchi Connection Corner Shop 3 (case/manual only): $5
Star wars Battlefront Elite Squadron (case/manual only): $2
Etrian Odyssey (case/manual only): $25
Final Fantasy IV (case/manual only): $10
Final Fantasy Tactics A2 (case/manual only): $20
Infinite Space (No manual): $85
Impossible Mission (No manual): $5
My World My Way (game only, repro case): $50
CORE (game only, repro case): $20
Heroes of Mana: $15
Civilization Revolution: $3
Metal Slug 7 (has slipcase+DVD thing): $60
Mystery Dungeon Shiren the Wanderer (sealed): $40
Rhythm Heaven: $40
Age of Empires the Age of kings: $5
From the Abyss: $50
Lost in Blue 3: $20
Rhapsody a Musical Adventure: $35
Master of the monster lair: $30
Ivy the Kiwi: $35
Witch's Wish: $110
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Ring of Fates: $15
Super Robot Taisen OG Saga Endless Frontier (Game is sealed outer box/soundtrack are not): $350
COP the recruit: $40
Disgaea DS: $15
Advance wars Days of Ruin: $40
Myst: $10
SNK v Capcom Card Fighters DS: $15
Kids Learn and Play Pets + Vets Bundle: $20
Moto Racer DS: $20
Theresia: $100
SNK Snowboard kids: $90
Jake Hunter Memories of the Past: $100
Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days (with slipcover): $25
Kingdom Hearts Recoded (Sealed): $40
Ultimate Mortal Kombat: $20
Hero's Saga Laevatein Tactics: $40
Front Mission (sealed): $65
Hoshigami Remix: $40
Switch (CIB unless stated otherwise):
Ikaruga Hypergun Edition (sealed): $110
Warhammer 40k Mechanicus: $15
​
NES:
Pebble Beach Golf Challenge CIB: $10
Gamecube:
Zelda Four Swords Adventures: $70
​
Wii:
Battalion wars 2: $5
​
PS3:
Ico/Shadow of the Colossus collection: $10
​
Xbox 360:
Skyrim (no manual): $2
Assassins creed 3 (no manual): $2
Assassins creed black flag (no manual but has ubisoft thing): $2

First Chapter
Chapter Eighteen
Chao peered at the holographic display at the front of the landing boat as she talked to an international audience. “Okay, folks! You can now see the Coalition Exploration Bureau’s ship Exultant Finger of Rithro. It’s missing its usual armor configuration; normally, this corvette would have triangular cones of armor at the front and back. But they re-configured that armor material into a shell to prevent us from seeing them as they flew towards Earth. Merely as a precaution; they flipped the shell around a few weeks ago to display their ship to us. They even extended their radiators towards our planet, which to them is a signal of surrender.”
She smiled at Parvati, who floated next to her. “Pretty cool, right?”
“Very cool indeed!” exclaimed Parvati. “So where is the damage?”
Chao pointed. “See these toroidal tanks around the middle of the ship? They hold hydrogen for the ship’s fusion drive, but after tangling with that Breaker some of them got punctured. You can see the holes there, there, and there. That means they’re now limited in how long they can burn the reactor. Plus the FTL drive is now pretty much kaput. It apparently uses a lot of energy.”
Parvati pondered the display. “Faster than light,” she mused. “We need that. After we get the fusion drive technology, of course. Assuming that ever comes out of committee.”
Chao laughed. “Well, that’s why we’re here, right? To show all of humanity what could be ours.”
“Will we go outside? I mean, for real outside?” The actress reached towards the display, halting when she realized there was no physical screen.
“We’ve got pressure suits. Should be okay, we did plan for going out for a few minutes to get some direct video. It’ll be limited in time, those suits aren’t really meant for proper EVAs…”
“Oh, that’s no problem!” said Takh from behind them, causing both women to do the equivalent of a zero-g jump. For someone so big, he somehow managed to just…arrive on the scene. “We’ve got plenty of components on board, we can make you all some proper hardsuits!” He grinned at the camera on Chao’s chest; watching an udhyr grin was an awe-inspiring sight, what with all of the teeth and mandibles. “It’s all snap-together for any body type, it works just like your Legos!”
Parvati, of course, was the first to regain her composure. “Thank you Takh, I’m sure that will be very welcome. One thing has occurred to me; even if our material is successful in allowing you to patch your tanks, you will still require hydrogen to fill them, yes?”
The XO’s cheer didn’t fade. “Of course. We’ll find a nearby ice-containing body and extract us some hydrogen. We already have a few candidates chosen. You can all come and ride along! It should be fun to watch.”
“Yes, very fun.” Parvati met Chao’s eyes in a clear unspoken message of is this guy for real?
A much smaller hand crept its way around Takh’s leather-armored shoulder. “Now, my dear,” said McCoy. “We mustn’t interrupt the PR people. They’re half the reason we’re out here, after all.” She winked at the two other women; both of the latter winked back.
“Oh, of course!” Takh bowed formally to the two. “Forgive me.”
“No worries,” said Chao.
“There is nothing to forgive, my good sir,” replied Parvati with an equally formal bow.
The huge alien and petite corporal vanished, leaving the two women to watch the ship as the boat headed for its docking cradle.
“They are utterly adorable,” said Parvati.
“So are you two,” said Chao.
“Sorry?”
“You and Ravindar. I’m not saying to make your move right now. We’re gonna be on camera for a while, and I know I just made a bunch of people on Earth go squee. But you need to tell him how you feel.”
For once the actress looked flustered. “I…I couldn’t, he’s so brave and strong…”
Chao’s voice sounded out like the slamming of a vault door. “Stop. I had the same problem. I was into someone who was brave and strong. Not as big as Ravindar, but then again few people are. Then I found out he was into me too, but because he thought I was smart. I’m not as smart as he thinks I am, but I’m not going to tell him that.”
Parvati glanced into the rear of the landing boat, where Martinez was in the midst of puttering around with the human and alien crew. The actress now looked thoughtful. “I see.”
“All I’m saying is, you don’t need to be exactly in-sync in terms of what you see in each other.” Chao smiled. “Heck, you might even find out that you’re in-sync in ways you didn’t see coming.”
The dark-haired Indian fixed Chao with a stare. “I sense there is a story somewhere in there that you’re not telling me. Ah well, as you say it can wait until we are all no longer under the camera’s gaze.”
__________
Master Sergeant Wilkes smiled down at the spidery alien. “Kifa, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. Consider it part of your helping us to train. This person made a living while driving one of the highest, fastest aircraft we’ve ever made.”
“Oooh!” Kifa looked very pleased at the idea. “That’s a good area to focus on! Where orbital mechanics and aircraft mechanics meet.”
“Indeed.” Wilkes nodded at the near door. “You may come in, sir.”
A man walked in, his face stretched taut in the way which only scar tissue can appear.
Kifa peered up at him. “Forgive me, this is probably very insensitive, but…were you injured?”
He laughed. “I sure was! Burned to a fare-thee-well!”
“Oh, I am so sorry!”
He smiled. “No need to be sorry. Hey, do you want a headpat? Word on the street is your species like that sort of thing.”
The xyrax rocked back and forth on its legs. “Well, a human headpat is always welcome….”
The man reached up and wiggled his fingers, making a great show that his pinky had full range of motion. “See this? Pure miracle that I can do that. The surgeon putting my hand back together, just on a whim, decided to put a pin in here so’s that my pinky finger can grasp properly. Good thing too, otherwise I would’ve never made it through the physical training.”
He then reached forth and with that rebuilt hand dispensed quite a few righteous headpats onto Kifa. After a mutual moment of happy bonding, the xyrax spoke again.
“What training were you pursuing?”
“The same thing you and I are gonna be doing for a week or so.” His eyes, narrowed with scar tissue, lit up. “My dear Kifa, I’m gonna make you into a Sled Driver. God willing and the creek don’t rise, we might get to do it for real and not just in the simulators. They’re already pulling a bunch of Blackbirds out of mothballs. Hell, even the Russians are offering us titanium for building new ones. Seems like everybody’s got a fire lit under their kiester.”
Kifa’s eyes, already big and black, got even bigger. “What is a Sled Driver?”
“Why, it’s only the best profession on the planet, my little blue-furred friend. We get to go fast.”
__________
Joachim regarded the cylindrical, human-sized tank with some trepidation. It looked far too much like a transparent coffin. “You want to stick me in that thing?”
Zawahir nodded. “I know it’s a lot to ask, sir. It is entirely up to you, in the end. But if this works…” He waved at the tank. “If this works, then you will emerge from that tank physically in your twenties.”
They both regarded the tank for a moment, which was full of a clear and, at the moment, a very exclusive liquid.
“Corina too, of course,” said Joachim as he leaned back in his wheelchair. “If it works on me first.” He still wasn’t quite sure where he was; there had been a lot of back-and-forth with planes and whatnot.
“Of course,” said Zawahir. “That goes without saying.”
“Then the two people injured in the DC attack. This will regrow their limbs, correct?”
“Well, naturally.” Zawahir smirked. “They’re the Borlaug Institute’s big publicity stunt, after all. Testing on two people before-hand should be enough to let us know if it’ll work on them.”
“Of course.” Joachim gazed at the tank. “I’ll do it, on one condition.”
“Name it.”
“If…if I don’t come out okay, I want everyone to know that I tried, right? And I do mean everyone. All of humanity.”
“I’m just one person. At the moment, I can only promise that I’ll say what I can.”
After a moment, Joachim nodded. “Then put me in there. I just need to talk to Corina beforehand.”
“Of course, sir.”
__________
The blue-suited woman with a blonde pony-tail smiled as she stared into the camera. “Welcome to Summit Technologies’s livestream of Point-Counterpoint, I’m Amy Coulson. We are currently talking about and debating the latest announcements in space-based systems. As everyone is aware, this has become a source of great concern in the last month or so.” She nodded to the beige-suited man next to her. “This is Walter Higgins, formerly of TRW and who now works for Northrop-Grumman. Walter, to start with can you tell us what the current status is of the repair effort for the alien craft?”
Walt leaned forward, putting his forearms on the desk in front of them. “Well, the main concern is if the plates we’re providing for patching will actually work. So only one of the Rithro’s boats was launched…the one with Chao Me Chu and Parvati Devdhar, they’re towing the fifteen-ton loft provided by ULA to avoid wasting too much energy. Just in case the patching doesn’t work.” He winked at the camera. “I assure you, as someone in the aerospace industry, ULA is going to be very proud of that for a good long while. Anyways, at the moment, they are approaching the L5 point and we should be able to get some spectacular pictures of, well, everything. Of the Earth from near the Moon’s orbit, of the Moon itself, and most importantly of the Rithro.”
Amy nodded in a comradely fashion, but Walt was not fooled. He’d dealt with reporters before. “Sounds intriguing, and I’m sure everyone on Earth looks forward to such sights. But mere patching will not be enough to solve the ship’s issues, correct?”
He sighed. “You’re right. One of the ship’s fusion engines was damaged, and that limits their top speed. Think of it as…you’re a big ocean liner with three propellers, and one goes down. You might still be able to steer using just the other two, but you’re not going to be as effective or fast as you might be.”
“Effective,” she mused. “I suppose that our helping fix their fusion drive is among those bits of alien tech currently prohibited?”
“Yes. I have heard some rumors that the Borlaug Institute in Iceland has had some great initial success, so I hope that soon we will be able to tackle the fusion drive problem.”
She stared at him a bit, which he knew was a bit of theatricality. “Such a repair would make them more capable against these so-called ‘Breakers’, correct?”
“So-called? Now, Amy. Don’t tell me you’re agreeing with those lunatics?”
In the weeks since the simultaneous attacks, a few manifestos had cropped up online. All mostly spouted the same nonsense; at least, nonsense in Walt’s eyes. They all said the same thing; that the Breakers were fake. That this whole rigamarole was a false flag effort by the Coalition, one intended to get all of humanity under their thumb.
“I don’t agree with them,” said Amy, to her credit. “I’m merely stating the other side of the conflict. Yes, I think most people agree that there is an alien ship up at the L5 point which has been grievously damaged. I do trust the evidence of my eyes. I’m sure our two…”
“Five.”
“…five brave souls heading out to that very point at L5 will see exactly the same thing as the Hubble did. But. Have you considered, just for the sake of argument, that evidence of an attack is not evidence of Breakers? Perhaps this is some local dispute, and the crew has set up some sort of fake attack. They could intend to use us as shock troops to settle it.”
Walt leaned back in his chair as he went through the longest twenty seconds of his life. He knew things, thanks to his role. He also knew that if he spoke them aloud he would be burning his entire career right down to the waterline. “That is somewhat possible. But not probable.”
She leaned forward, as if sensing she had him on the ropes. “Why?”
“Because they didn’t need to.” His gray eyes were calm as he stared at her and measured his words. “Do you have any notion, any single clue, of the firepower that ship possesses?”
“Um…well, no, that part’s still classified.”
“I will give you a hint. They have a spinal railgun that could, with around three shots, turn any metropolitan area on earth into a molten crater. They have nuclear-tipped missiles, even one of which could burn a city to the ground. They didn’t need to play nice, Amy. Those aliens could have stood off in orbit, smacked a few cities, and then gotten on the radio to dictate terms of our surrender. We’d have no choice but to comply.”
He stared daggers at her, half expecting some black-suited guys with earpieces to jump in and haul him away. But nothing happened, it was as if the world was holding its breath. “They did their very best to treat with us fairly, to treat us as equals.”
Amy looked away. “I…I hope that is true.”
“It is.” He glanced behind his shoulder for any Men In Black, but nobody was there so far. Maybe he should continue. He assumed a smile, one which he did not feel. “Anyways. We will see what they see, when they get there. There is, also, the international consortium’s proposal for the Sea Dragon.”
The reporter rallied, clearly grateful for the change in subject. “Ah, yes. You’ve reviewed the designs of this craft. Is it really necessary?”
“At the moment, yes. Starship holds a great deal of promise, but they’re still trying to crack the reusability and multiple-refueling issue. This design does permit reusability…of the first stage, if nothing else…but it isn’t strictly necessary for success. Success, in this case, consists of tons to orbit.”
“Why something so big, though? Won’t it be an issue?”
He chuckled, feeling surer of himself. “That’s why we’re launching it in the ocean, in the middle of nowhere.”
She actually looked troubled, so he figured he’d throw her a bone. “The first launch won’t have anything…controversial.”
“But Walt, the second launch is the issue! Nobody has launched this much radioactive material into space.”
“We need to, Amy,”
“But on an almost untested rocket? From a design which is decades old?”
“We have top people on it,” said Walt. “Including people from that era, who know exactly the pitfalls and also have access to modern technology.”
“Which people?”
“It’s still secret as to their identities. But like I said, I can confirm rumors that the Borlaug Institute is already paying significant dividends.”
Amy rolled her eyes. “Over a billion dollars funneled into a figurative black hole in Iceland. Why would you believe anything they say?”
“They’re going to have some serious proof soon,” said Walt.
__________
Iceland. Joachim had never, ever expected to visit Iceland. But yet here he was…again. He stood with no cane, with nothing supporting him but his own two legs. He stared at a nearby volcanic massif, one covered with green lichen. The spring was coming in, and the ground around him was similarly strewn with fuzzy green growth. His beard and hair were now coming in dark again, with only a hint of gray at the tips to betray his true age.
He heard some light-footed steps coming up the trail behind him. It must be Zawahir.
“Why the hell am I back in Iceland?” Joachim replied.
"This is where the tech is, at least for the moment. How are you feeling, sir?”
“I feel…like my old self, Zawahir. I forgot what it was like to have knees that don’t hurt anymore. How is Corina’s, er, ‘tanking’ proceeding?”
“Very well, sir. I am overseeing the procedure of her ‘tanking’ myself, I just wanted to come and let you know that everything is looking good.”
Joachim looked down at the back of his hand. It was no longer wrinkled, no longer showed a welter of age spots. “When?”
“She should be out in…seventy-two hours. That’s how long it took you.”
“Good to know.” He turned to face Zawahir. “My friend, I am going to need every single internet connection you have for the next seventy-two hours. I have a lot of design work to take care of in that time frame; I will need to have a lot of meetings using those oh-so-clever ‘online’ apps. I’ll be indisposed after that.”
“Sir?”
Joachim stepped forth and placed a newly-strong hand on Zawahir’s shoulder. “My dear Zawahir. I am now physically twenty again. In the next three days my wife, the love of my life and she who I hold dear above all else, will also emerge from your magic alien goo and she will also be physically twenty years old. What do you think will happen after she is thus reborn?”
Zawahir’s eyes widened. “Oh. OH! Yes, of course. Please, follow me.”
Joachim chuckled to himself as he followed the man towards the low-roofed buildings of the Borlaug Institute in the distance.
__________
Chao was now clad back in her pressure suit; fortunately, the aliens were quite adept at helping the humans back into their cloth-and-glass cocoons. She looked over at Parvati. “Neil can bite us.”
Parvati grinned. “For sure. Neil was a very great man, but sadly he never got to see an alien starship.”
Chao checked the readout at her wrist, ensuring that she was indeed sealed up and pressurized. She looked over at her four fellow humans, and received nods in return. “We’re go, Captain Sadaf.”
The on-board crew of the Rithro were now back in their chromed, faceted hardsuits. “Depressurizing,” said Sadaf. “Please monitor those to either side, sing out if you see any stress.”
Chao reminded herself to breathe normally as things just got…quiet. Very quiet. She managed, through sheer willpower, to not have an utter panic attack as she realized that there was nothing between her and a life-sucking nothing except for a few layers of fabric and plastic.
She glanced over at Parvati, who looked to be also in the midst of trying (and fortunately succeeding) at combating her own panic attack behind her Plexiglas helmet. “Doing okay?” asked Chao, and immediately felt like an idiot for asking such a stupid question.
Still, Parvati nodded. Chao felt a tap at her shoulder, and looked over at Martinez. The corporal grinned at her from behind his own transparent head-cocoon. “Doing okay?” he asked with just the right bit of cheekiness.
Chao slapped his shoulder, but it was a playful slap. “Dipshit.” She forgot, in the moment, that she was begin transmitted live to the world. Her curse was thus broadcast to pretty much every kid on the planet, who then gleefully repeated her curse-word until they all got smacked by their parents.
She didn’t know that at the time, her entire world was the airlock door that now opened to reveal…black.
Utter black.
Chao had enough experience in zero-g maneuvering to push herself towards the door. “Oh. Man. Folks, this is it. Gonna step outside, for at least a little bit.”
She could feel both Martinez on one side and Sadaf on the other. The latter figured; the captain struck Chao as a ‘lead from the front’ type.
“Grip the frame,” said Sadaf. Through the translator bead her voice was deadly calm. “No big muscle movements, just kind of…drift where you want to go.”
Chao obediently swung herself up and out of the boat, reveling in the fact that now she was seeing the Exultant Finger of Rithro in real time. The long ship stretched alongside a clamshell-like shield, its radiators stretched out towards the Earth in a gesture of surrender.
Speaking of which…
Chao kept a firm hold on the doorframe as she looked behind her. A small, fragile, blue-and-white marble floated before her, a sphere which looked to be the size of her thumb-tip held at arm’s length. Chao did so with her free gloved hand, watching her thumb occlude that fragile-loooking sphere. And in that moment, her world was completely changed.
It is one thing to know a fact. It is one thing to meet aliens, to accept that they are from oh so very far away, that your world is but one little dust mote drifting in the vast and limitless cosmic ocean. But it is quite another to see that fact laid bare before you, where you can witness it in real-time through nothing but a Pexiglas helmet. Chao now knew. Everyone she’d ever known, everyone she’d ever heard of, every king or warlord or emperor or internet celebrity who anyone had ever heard of had lived down there, upon a sphere that looked to her like the most ephemeral of soap-bubbles. She had the crazy notion that she could just reach out one gloved finger and pop it.
She also knew that millions, perhaps billions, were watching this live via her bodycam. Perhaps they were going through the same epiphany.
Her breath caught in her throat, and she knew she was on the verge of tears. No, that was a bad thing. She was in freefall; there was no way for those tears to stream down her face. They would just collect over her eyes and blind her. So Chao breathed in deep and managed to tamp down those threatened tears.
“Chao?” called out Sadaf through her comm. “Are you all right?”
“I’m good, Captain. Just…next time…, we send up a poet.”
__________
Shaw hated, hated, hated having to use a wheelchair to get around. Most of the time he could wheel himself around using his substantial arms, but every so often the nursing staff would try to get oh so helpful and try to push him towards where he was going. Several of them had nearly lost limbs of their own thanks to such efforts.
Still, he was alive and that was a good thing. Although…watching Agent Milton Vila and his family, who were nearby as he went through his own convalescence, made Shaw reevaluate his life choices. It would be nice to have a wife and kid to hug while one went through the worst thing ever. But he was too old, such things were well behind him. While on autopilot, Shaw wheeled himself down the tiled and very off-white hallway with a sour air. One which told the entire staff that he was Not To Be Disturbed. He was thinking of a particular girl, one with the cutest pigtails and the sunniest smile. Yeah, she would have been the one, if he’d had his head on straight back then.
And then, in spite of his ‘Fuck the Fuck Off energy’, someone did block his path.
He stared at a pair of narrow legs, clad in narrow pants, then looked up with a distinct lack of humor. “I do believe you are in my way.”
The dark-skinned man blocking his path smiled, but it was a gentle smile. “I am. But, I am very sure you will want to hear my offer. Both you and Agent Vila.”
Shaw regarded him with gimlet eyes. “Oh, really? What’s your name?”
“I’m Zawahir Ibn Harith. I am the head of the…”
“I don’t give a single solitary fuck,” said Shaw. “I’ve had plenty of people trying to get me to tell them my life story since I got my leg removed with extreme prejudice. I don’t know how you got in here, but you strike me as someone just like them, Harith. So. I may be minus one leg, but I can still fuck you up but good. I can fuck you up so bad you’ll never shit right again. Do you wanna get out of my way now?”
The man’s smile didn’t change. “Borlaug Institute.”
“What. Really?”
“Really, sir. Both you and Agent Milton Vila. It sounds…very cynical, but you were the two that we wanted to heal first. As an object lesson to humanity. Do you understand?”
The notion made Shaw’s mind reel. “Heal?”
“Fully. We have successfully restored two people to the prime of life, and we are now certain that we can do the same for you and Agent Vila. With all of your limbs intact. We have done a great many tissue-sample experiments, and it appears that the regeneration also re-grows limbs.”
Shaw looked down at his missing lower leg. “And you’ll do the same for Milton?”
“Of course, sir.”
“Stop calling me sir, I work for a living. Call me Mack.”
“Very well…Mack. I won’t lie to you, this has been planned well in advance. But it turned out that limb re-growth for humans also unlocked certain regeneration within our cells, particularly the telomeres…”
Shaw held up a meaty hand. “Just…I’m a dumb grunt in such matters, don’t bother to tell me how it works. So you have some kind of magic goo that you slather over me and hey presto I’m twenty again?”
“That is more or less the shape of it, si…Mack. You will need to be immersed in the ‘magic goo’ for at least three days. Perhaps more, since this will also be regenerating a limb.”
“Either way, I go first,” said Shaw, with a flinty glare up at Zawahir. “I’m the test subject, and you need to test me good after I get re-birthed from your goop. I know you said you’d done it on two people, but we need to make sure this doesn’t give me some kind of bullshit super-cancer before Milton goes in. He’s got a wife and a kid. If he has to use a prosthetic instead of magic alien goo, then he has to use that instead. Understand?”
Zawahir gave Shaw a little bow. “Of course. I do believe you are quite the appropriate test subject.”
“Oh, go fuck yourself. Where is this shindig taking place, anyway?”

Cover Art <<Previous Start Next >>
Mordecai had always enjoyed designing bosses, once he was experienced to think beyond their potential as defenses. That first group of explorers had taught him how to consider combat as a dangerous game instead of as just conquest or killing. A young dungeon’s instincts were not always kind in this regard before they have some exposure to others. Especially when they first realize that killing intruders gave them a lot of energy, and that the dungeon could ‘eat’ people to become stronger.
Fortunately, there were many other options. While a group that turns around early because they are intimidated provides little mana, defeating them soundly without actually killing them provides lots of energy, if still less than killing them. But two drawn-out explorations provide more energy than a single quick defeat of a group, and that process could repeat more often as well. The dungeons that couldn’t learn to moderate themselves could become dangerously greedy when not enough people came to them.
Not a problem they would be facing, so Mordecai shook off his reminiscing and focused on the task at hand. He knew he wanted a fungal boss, but it was hard to make a fast mushroom creature, especially when it was large. A creature rooted in place was generally very easy to target from afar, but while part of his mind had been wandering, another part had been chewing on the issue, and he had found a solution.
After all, a fungus’s true body was usually hidden. So the first stage of building this boss was to make another large cavern, about a third the size of the main one. Then he sunk the floor well below the entrance, and filled in most of the gap with a room-wide mycelium, mixed with loose earth and then topped with another foot of soil to appear like mostly normal if slightly soft ground. It would be difficult for most groups to completely kill something like this, so while this was the base life form for the boss, he was going to create a few stages, with normal victory being after Stage 1.
His next step was a bit of preparation work, he needed to make the entire organism immune to acid. There was a price to pay, a limit to how much power could be wrapped into a fifth-floor boss, and so he paid it in the form of a balancing weakness. Fungi tend to already dislike fire and cold, so this would be weaker than usual to both. Oh, Mordecai could have made it immune without balancing it out, but then he wouldn’t have been able to make it as strong in other ways.
Filling in the room with look-alike sprouting bodies was going to both hide and be a clue as to the true nature of the boss. They weren’t the same sorts of mushrooms as filled the main cavern, they were extensions of the boss’s true body below the surface, but it would take a keen eye to tell the difference.
Time for the showstopper, the visible main body of the boss. It was going to be clearly a mushroom, though not like any mushroom that could ever normally develop. Its total height was 20 feet tall, but the first ‘cap’ was at 10 feet, spreading out a wide canopy from which tendrils could snap out at prey. Just above that cap was a ring of branching stalks that ended in tightly packed balls that could be launched at nearby enemies, though not at those below the cap of course.
Above that was a double ring of thinner branching stalks, tilted slightly upward, and they ended in the explosive, venom-laced darts he’d developed previously. They couldn’t be aimed below the cap or even nearby, but had a much larger range.
And finally, the topper of this strange mushroom monstrosity was a delicate-looking bell-like cap, from which rained a gentle, steady dusting of debilitating spores. The spores trickled from the small cap and rolled over the stalks and cap below, meaning that some would also get caught in the darts and nets as well.
But he wasn’t quite done yet. The tendrils for his boss were not going to whip around like the other mushrooms, they were going to be directed and grab at foes, to bring the victim towards the maw. Well, one of them. Mordecai gave the main stalk of his boss three distorted, toothy maws, with more rows of hard fungal teeth inside. There was no throat or stomach, it was simply designed to keep chewing on anything it shoved into its mouth until nothing was left.
But for all of its fearsomeness, this mushroom tree was relatively fragile, and none of its borrowed attacks were as potent as the original, despite the increased range of some of them. Most bosses would be much tougher. That would not be quite the end of a fight however, for immediately after defeating the first stalk, another would spawn from the ground below, and after that a third and final stalk would form. Hmm. Might be good to give a small clue here. Ah, that would be easy. In the center of the ceiling Mordecai grew four red crystals, three of them in a triangle with a dark red glow. The fourth sat in the center unlit. Each time a stalk went down, one of the red crystals would turn a brightly-hued blue. When all three turned blue, the boss would be ‘dead’, the forest would go quiescent, and the doorway out would open, ending stage 1 and technically entering stage 2. Usually. Unless the second boss was active of course, in which case the fourth crystal would light up red as well, and stage 1 didn’t end until it was defeated too.
As frenetic and emotionally charged as this fight would feel, a team that could make it to this room shouldn’t have much trouble. It was high tension, but if one handled it correctly it wasn’t actually hard. Treat it like a boss fight, throw around fire spells or alchemical bombs or what have you, and it would be a short, fast-paced fight. The boss trees would want to spawn near the group, after all, you only had to hunt down the first one.
Which meant that it came with a penalty for people who were badly behaved. There was enough information in the way everything acted for someone to figure out that the ‘real’ boss was below. The forest would only be quiet and still until the group had moved on, then would slowly restore its boss trees. But if someone realized that the real body of the boss was below and decided to try and ‘finish the job’ or any such foolishness, inflicting enough damage to the mycelium would stir it back into activity and switch the boss fight into stage 3. The full tree wouldn’t respawn, but the seemingly ‘normal’ mushroom trees would become more active and directed, and the mycelium mat could animate and shuffle itself about, drawing its deadlier trees towards its attackers even as its rippling surface did its best to knock people off of their feat.
As one would have to go out of their way to activate this mode and the first stage was easier than it seemed, the total difficulty and toughness of the boss was significantly higher than it would be otherwise if someone did activate stage 3. Mordecai paused a moment and ran a couple of scenarios in his head, then shrugged at the results. He’d tried out the idea of deliberately activating stage 3 early if hostiles managed to get here, and the simulation didn’t run properly. He thought he might be able to make the transition more sensitive, but the invading party would still have to do some significant damage to the base mycelium.
Well, nothing for it, he’d already committed to it, the energy for this creature already tied to one of the boss nodes for the floor. Mordecai finalized his creation with a name. “I name you Sarcomaag.” And with that it was done, everything sealed. He could feel a mind stirring in the depths of the fungal mass, and it was quite different from most. Slower in some ways given how far it was spread out, but also deeper. He checked its aura and found it to still only have a spirit instead of a soul, but the mind inside was awakening at its own pace, and he could see the first signs of that denser, more complicated knot of energy forming. He expected Sarcomaag to have a fully functioning soul before long, especially as he could feel the first hints of curiosity. Hmm.
Oh. That was going to make things interesting. Whoops.
“Whoops?” Came Kazue’s query on the heels of that thought.
“Erm, I think I got ahead of myself with Sarcomaag here. I mean, what I designed is perfectly fine for a fifth-floor boss. But I didn’t place any proper growth restrictions on them either.” That was embarrassing, and the sort of thing that he should know better than to do. Maybe he was getting too comfortable and ambitious with designing complicated bosses, even with two brains it was hard to keep track of all the little things that had to be tuned correctly.
“Which means what my darling?”
When had Kazue learned to do the sweetly dangerous tone? It was cute, but Mordecai kept that thought to himself. “It’ll be slow, but Sarcomaag is going to spread, and they’ve already started to instinctively try to grow along and inside of the living crystal layer. The fact that some of its fruiting bodies already use living crystal makes it easier. So, well, I’m not entirely certain. They won’t do anything to harm the dungeon of course, and it shouldn’t make much difference to anything. But I also wouldn’t be surprised to find small mushrooms cropping up in places it wants to ‘see’ what is going on.” Its senses were different, but would be as good as vision for most purposes, and better for a few.
“Um, is that okay? I mean, we have rules about what can be where, doesn’t that kind of break them?” Kazue sounded worried, and he couldn’t blame her.
“I don’t think it’ll be a problem? Sarcomaag shouldn’t be able to act on the upper floors, though maybe they can on the lower floors as we grow.” Mordecai didn’t think that the fungal boss was going to default into one of the future raid boss nodes, but he was considering assigning it one anyway. “Well, we can discuss it with them when they wake up. Just don’t expect it to be a fast conversation, their mind works rather differently.”
“Alright. I guess we’ll wait and see. So, what did you have in mind for the second boss?”
Mordecai smiled. “Something much more straightforward love. Though I think most people will prefer to face Sarcomaag.”
<<Previous Start Next >>
My Discord if you would like to talk about the book or see what else I am up to.
My Patreon if you want to support me directly.
Also to be found on Royal Road.
$3 Patreon: Early chapters, lore excerpts $5 Patreon: Short Stories $10 Patreon: New stories not published anywhere else (Until after I finish this story at least)

Are two claws better than three? That is one of the many questions I’ll be attempting to answer as we delve into X-23’s cards! Here I will go over her cards in great detail, try to predict which aspects and archetypes she will like, as well as estimate where she’ll rank in terms of power.
Disclaimer #1: X-23 has just been previewed. I have not played her, this is all simply theoretical and done for fun!
Disclaimer #2: This is my longest deep dive yet! Skip to the conclusion if you want a shorter read! Just read the bullet points at the end for the quickest read.
But let’s cut to the chase.
Identity Card - Alter-Ego
X-23 or Laura Kinney as she’s called in alter-ego is, in many ways, much like Wolverine. She has a giant REC of 6 and has a setup ability to put her claws into play. And while yes, she is high damage and has plenty of healing, the similarities really do end there. She functions entirely differently.
So let’s hit the boring stuff. She’s got 10 hp and the standard hand size - 6 in alter-ego, 5 in hero form. Not great, but not bad - distinctly average. She also has the Mutant alter-ego trait and X-Force hero trait as you'd expect.
As mentioned, she has 6 REC and this is by _far_ her best stat. 6 REC is monstrous and shouldn’t be underestimated - she doesn’t automatically heal when starting the turn in her hero form, meaning there’s no opportunity cost for going alter-ego to use it like with Wolverine.
Given how dangerous it can be to drop to low hp in the pursuit of not missing value from a large REC stat, she will like any well-costed increases to her hit points. So far, we haven’t seen an equivalent of Adamantium Skeleton, but you can bet that Endurance, the unannounced but probable Honorary X-Force card, or even Symbiote Suit are all on the menu as potential cards for her deck-building.
Increasing her hp will help her in other ways - but we’ll get to that.
Like Wolvy, she has a setup ability to put her claws in play. Unlike Wolvy, she has a second ability that she can actively use throughout the game. It’s an action to shuffle either the Honey Badger ally or the Sisterly Bond event from her discard pile into her deck and then draw a card. The shuffling of either card is a cost, so you are only able to use it for the sweet card draw if either is in your discard pile.
Unfortunately, it appears X-23 only has one copy of Sisterly Bond and she seems heavily incentivized to keep her signature ally around on the board at all times. Which is to say, her alter-ego ability won’t always be online to use. But it's much better than not having one. ...Like Wolverine.
But let’s get to the good stuff.
Setup Ability - Shhnk!
The ability is very simple. Put X-23’s Claws into play. So let’s talk about those.
Her claws have the weapon trait, the permanent keyword, and have a hero action that reads: Exhaust X-23’s Claws and take 2 damage → X-23 gets +2 ATK until the end of the round.
As you can see, suddenly her 6 REC is looking a lot more useful. And she has other sources of healing which we’ll soon cover. She also has multiple sources of readying, and thus you can really start to get excellent value from these. If anyone has ever played Quicksilver with Maximum Velocity, multiple readies with a +2 ATK boost is incredibly good! And she can pull the trigger every turn - as long as she has the hp!
Identity Card - Hero Form
Her form is, quite frankly, amazing - and her entire kit has fantastic synergy with it. As do a lot of aspect cards.
She’s another 2 THW, 1 ATK, and 2 DEF hero. The same as Cyclops and Angel - apparently this has become popular! But like both of those heroes, she has a ready source of damage. In this case, the claws we just talked about. By taking 2 damage, suddenly she’s a 2 THW, 3 ATK, and 2 DEF hero.
2 damage might seem steep, but remember those readies I talked about? They’re here. X-23 has an ability called Living Weapon. It’s a response which says after she takes any amount of damage, ready her (Limit once per phase.). So, at the most basic level on our turn, we can always thwart for 2, ready by taking damage from our claws, and then use our basic ATK for 3 damage (or even just another 2 thwarting!).
If she attacks twice, it’s 4 total damage (1 and then 3). If she thwarts twice, it’s 4 threat removal total (2 and 2). She has to take 2 damage to do so, but restoring 2 hit points is generally considered to be roughly the equivalent of one resource.
Remember Captain America? He's pretty good. By discarding one card (read: one resource), he too can ready to potentially attack twice, thwart twice, or some combination. And he too hits a maximum of 4 damage or threat removal, but even he can’t hit 3 damage and 2 threat removal like this while X-23 can.
What I’m trying to say here is that X-23 is going to be incredibly, incredibly consistent. Notably in solo play but still amazing in multiplayer. Even before you look at your cards in hand, you can basically guarantee defeating any one of most minions or clearing most side schemes. That versatility and output from Turn 1 is rarely talked about from Captain America but I believe it is one of his greatest strengths. Now? One of X-23's.
Lastly, I need to bring attention to the fact that the Living Weapon response, the thing that readies her, is once per phase. You can defend with her on the villain phase and, should she take a point of damage, she’ll ready straight back up. Nice. Cap can’t do that either.
In short, if you’re being compared to Captain America, you’ve done good. Right now? X-23 is looking very strong.
…But maybe all her other cards are bad? Heh.
Signature Ally - Honey Badger
…Who names these characters?! Anyway, Honey Badger is a key weapon in your arsenal. Why? Because she readies you. She’s a 1 THW, 1 ATK, 2 HP ally with a printed cost of 2. She also, curiously, has the X-Men trait. This is weak, but her ability is very strong.
Her Hero Response reads: After Honey Badger takes any amount of damage, ready X-23.
This is very good because X-23 has great stats and we’ve yet to scrape the surface of how high her ATK can really go. If you’ve ever used the Web-Warrior ally of Peter Parker, you know just how good allies that ready you can be. Since consequential damage works for this, the timing will be largely comparable to Peter Parker except she’ll be defeated first before you can use her response if you spend her last hp on an ATK or THW.
With a great ability comes great potential to boost her hp and/or keep her healed. Or even recur her with something like Make the Call, Chance Encounter or Regroup.. See, you are going to want to keep Honey Badger in play as much as you can. Because readying is awesome. And we have other cards that benefit from her sticking around.
By readying you, she effectively has a THW stat of 3 or an ATK stat of 4+. And, since she delivers 1 of either the ATK or THW herself, it’s in some ways able to be split and she can definitely pop Toughs for you. So she’s already a solid ally before you factor in boosting her hp and/or keeping her alive. And all those other cards that synergize with her.
Remember the X-Men trait on her? Every aspect has a Training upgrade that adds hp. Expect to see one or more of these in all her best decks. Maybe a little X-Mansion to heal her, or Game Time, etc. Med Team, Command Team… There are a lot of options. And all of them end in Honey Badger readying you a LOT.
…In short, if your signature ally is being compared to the Web-Warrior version of Peter Parker, you’ve done good.
…But maybe, just maybe, all her other cards are bad? Hehehe…
Let’s check out her events.
Claw Mastery
A 1-cost event with the caveat that it’s “max 1 per round”. What does it do? It’s a hero action that says, until the end of the round, X-23 gets +2 attack - and, if Honey Badger is in play, her attacks gain overkill.
This is super good.
If you don’t ready her again, it’s not so hot. But if you do even once? That +2 attack becomes four damage between two attacks. Combine this with her claws’ +2 ATK bonus and she us hitting 5 ATK and is really going to love more ways to ready. If you make a basic ATK, ready, repeat a few times? We’re in Quicksilver territory. And between Leadership shenanigans with Honey Badger, or Protection shenanigans with all its direct readies? You can deal massive damage here.
Battle Fury isn’t quite in the same league, but it’s starting to make sense why it was reprinted with Wolverine now. She’ll love that too.
This is easily one of her best cards, you just need to combo it. And I say it’s one of her best cards before we even discuss the potential overkill it gives you. Note the overkill is for all her attacks, not just her basic ATK. You could drop Into the Fray on a 1 hp minion and, in addition to removing 5 threat, deal 5 overkill damage. Nice.
Sisterly Bond
A 0-cost event that is a Hero Interrupt - when Honey Badger thwarts/attacks, add X-23’s matching power to Honey Badger.
So, despite Honey Badger having 1 ATK, if you have just played Claw Mastery and used your Claws? This 0-cost card basically gives her a total of 6 ATK for one use. And even without Claw Mastery, it’s still very good at giving either 3 damage or 2 threat removal for 0-cost.
This is like Leadership’s Teamwork card in reverse, except nobody has to exhaust either. If you boost Honey Badger’s hp and/or heal her, this card is a must-play. And her best builds are almost certainly doing this.
It’s very efficient and super flexible with serious combo potential on top. And remember her alter-ego ability? Once this is in your discard pile (looks like only one copy), you can shuffle it back into your deck.
…This is easily one of her best cards too.
Regenerative Longevity
A 1-cost event and an action, meaning it can be used in hero or alter-ego form, that heals you and Honey Badger for a total of 4. It’s reminiscent of Wolverine’s healing card and is one of her two previewed cards to have the Superpower trait.
So, for two resources (1-cost + the card itself), we get 4 healing. This is basically what we should expect for our money for identity healing. However, the ability to heal Honey Badger as well is extra valuable given how ridiculously good Honey Badger is for us.
Is it one of her best cards? You’re going to have to draw it at the right time (after you’ve played Honey Badger), but then? Kinda. Keeping Honey Badger alive and healthy is incredibly valuable. Every hp restored to Honey Badger is another ready, and your readies hit HARD.
Next up? Upgrades and supports.
Sisterhood
If all three of her events and her setup ability, her claws, all combo-ing with Honey Badger wasn’t enough of a clue, here’s the final card that cements the theme: Honey Badger is vital and you absolutely desperately want to put her in play and keep her in play.
X-23 is the first hero we’ve ever seen who works so closely with their signature ally. Wong, Mantis, Vivian and maybe even Gambit come close, but not quite like this. Though, to speak of Vision, keep his Hickory Branch Lane card in mind here. This is her version of it.
Sisterhood is a 2-cost support that has an action (alter-ego or hero form) that says to exhaust it, discard an X-23 card from your hand, then search your deck and discard pile for Honey Badger and add her to your hand.
In other words, wherever you are and whatever is happening, you can always find and thus play Honey Badger once Sisterhood is in play. Whoa.
Now, I generally think beefing up Honey Badger’s hp (and, ideally, other stats) is going to be the best move, but recurring her with this? This can be a great option if you lean into it. Notably, in leadership, the Team Training card is going to do huge work here by giving Honey Badger +1 hp every time you play her. This will also combo really well with Danger Room. Just grab her, play her, and use Danger Room to immediately find and put a Training upgrade on her. And repeat as necessary.
This card is basically infinite copies of Make the Calls for your best ally. As long as you have another signature card in hand that you don’t mind swapping for her.
Nice.
This card? Easily one of her best - for the right build. Otherwise, it’s probably dead to you if you find Honey Badger first and have built the deck to keep her alive forever. However, even with such builds, this could be pretty valuable to find Honey Badger sooner if you happen to draw this first. Honey Badger is just that good.
Puncture Wound This upgrade is basically a delayed event and is reminiscent of Nebula’s techniques. Play it, benefit from the passive bonus, wait, and it goes off in the next round.
And I love it.
It’s a 0-cost card that you can only attach to an enemy that X-23 or Honey Badger have attacked this turn. The attached enemy gets -1 ATK. And then, as a forced response that triggers after the player phase begins, you must discard it - but for doing so you deal 3 damage to the attached enemy.
So, first things first - 3 damage for a 0-cost card is great. This is Turn the Tide levels of efficient. The downside is that it's conditional, also like Turn the Tide. Given X-23’s crazy damage, minions are unlikely to survive - you’re mostly putting this on the villain aside from a few edge cases and mostly in multiplayer (Surprise Contender? Dragon? Sleeper? That Future Past guy I forget the name of?). Normal minions won’t live long at all.
But for a hero who hits hard and fast, hitting the villain is going to be something you want a lot of the time, especially in solo where she can definitely melt through their hp. And if you’re focusing down the villain, you don’t want to be putting a ton of resources into your defense. And this is where the -1 ATK comes in useful.
The slight downside, the anti-synergy here, is that if you reduce the damage you take too low while also defending? You won't take any damage and so won't ready back up with your hero ability. It's going to be a fine line to balance that will vary with each scenario.
We believe she has two of these in her kit and they do stack, so for a total of 2 effective resources you can put both of these on the villain, take -2 from any attacks they make, then they take 6 damage. That’s crazy.
What’s even better is when you consider multiplayer. First of all, this is an upgrade. Cyclops is going to be able to Optic Blast off of it. Secondly, every single attack the enemy makes will be affected by that -1 ATK. So you’re really helping to protect the whole table.
The combo I’m most excited for is with Cyclops (again) and Storm, two of the best multiplayer heroes already. If Cyclops attaches Practiced Defense and Storm changes to her Blizzard Weather, you can play one Puncture Wound too and now the villain has -3 ATK for that entire villain phase. Or -4 if you draw into both of these.
But a lot of other characters will love the -1 as well. Spider-Ham might not need the help, but this will help him take lower chunks of damage for efficient toon counter generation. Drax? Now, when he takes attacks, he takes less damage too. The Groot ally? Suddenly it’s surviving a lot longer. The same goes for Spider-UK.
There are probably even more multiplayer combos I have yet to think of. There are a lot of handy little interactions.
What’s also good about this is that it makes “taunt” cards a lot better as well - cards that make the villain attack. Traditionally, cards like Toe to Toe and Bait and Switch haven’t been worth it. Whether they are now is still debatable, but certainly they get better if you can factor in the villain having -1 ATK. And remember the new card with Angel, actually called Taunt? That works great here as well.
There’s theoretically a situation where, in 4-player where everyone has their own copy of all the content, you have X-23, Storm, Cyclops and Drax, all running 3x Taunt or 3x Toe to Toe, with the first three using their -1 ATK abilities to weaken the villain throughout the game while everyone grabs massive value from these cards.
I love this card.
Grim Resolve
And now for a traditional upgrade. So traditional, in fact, that it’s basically just Clarity of Purpose. The main difference? Its cost arrow says you must TAKE 1 damage rather than DEAL 1 damage, which is relevant with the new 1.5 rules when it comes to potentially blocking the damage.
If you block damage (let’s say with Energy Barrier) from a cost which says TAKE, then you have not actually taken the damage since you prevented it. But if you block the damage from a cost which says DEAL, the damage was still dealt - you don’t have to take it to have fulfilled the cost.
(If this is confusing, while I will try to help in the comments, I recommend looking for some youtube talks on it or scouring the pages of the new 1.5 rules reference!)
Like Clarity of Purpose, it’s a 1-cost card which you exhaust to generate a resource. Clarity of Purpose has you also deal a point of damage to yourself as an extra cost. Grim Resolve has you take a point of damage as its extra cost.
It’s good! Now, you can pop your Claws to get +2 ATK first before using X-23 at all, then make a big basic ATK, then use Grim Resolve to ready then and make a second one. It gives a lot of flexibility in the timing of when you want to ready with her hero ability.
But it’s also just an ever-so-slightly worse version of Clarity of Purpose. Still, Clarity is a powerful card and X-23 has a lot of healing. You can totally run both, whether to just to find one earlier or even put both into play.
Pain Tolerance
Last but not least, we have X-23’s consistent healing card. This upgrade is 2-cost, Superpower traited, and has a Response - meaning it works in both hero and alter-ego form. It says “After you play an X-23 card (including this one), heal 1 damage from your identity.”
Any rules followers will immediately recognize the reminder text being something absent from Sky-Destroyer, another card that triggers upon playing itself, so that is a welcome addition here that should help a lot of players out who otherwise might not realize it. And so we can, in some ways, also consider this to immediately include a 1 hp heal before we even really start using it properly.
So - three effective resources for 1 hp, then 1 hp every time you play one of your signature cards. I can tell you right now that, given how ridiculously good her signature cards are, you are going to want to play them already. And not just that but, as you may have spotted throughout the preview, all X-23’s cards are cheap. So, not only do you want to play them already purely because they’re so darn good, but you can play a lot of them because they’re so darn cheap.
In short, this thing is going to give a TON of healing. Outside of an unlucky hand, this is likely a minimum of 1 and sometimes up to 3 or, if the stars align, 4. And it will likely trend on the higher side if you thin your deck or build for card draw or some kind of recursion (Mutant Education, etc! And her alter-ego ability).
It’s not mind-blowing, but she’ll benefit more from the healing than most heroes will.
And that concludes the signature cards previewed so far - let’s take a quick look through some deck-building options for her.
Basic Cards
With the Mutant trait, she’ll love a lot of the X-Men supports. With an X-Men signature ally who is key to her entire deck, she’ll also love the X-Men supports.
X-Mansion? Heal Honey Badger. Danger Room? Beef up Honey Badger who you can easily recur, and thus get multiple uses from Danger Room on just her. Cerebro? Perhaps find her faster.
Weapon-X? Find more signature cards because 1) they are awesome and 2) she will heal the damage from Weapon X with the card drawn thanks to Pain Tolerance. This can also find Honey Badger sometimes.
X-Gene? Maybe. Definitely if you run Mutant Education.
Endurance? 110%. Symbiote Suit? Honestly, she is clearly one of the better characters for it in the entire game.
Professor X is also a stand-out ally. She lacks confuses and doesn’t always want to thwart. The confuses will help her go alter-ego and use her massive REC, cycle cards back, or heal Honey Badger with X-Mansion.
Oh yeah. And Game Time for Honey Badger. That should really speak for itself. Readying yourself through readying and healing an ally? All for 0-cost? Incredibly good.
Perhaps most importantly, the new basic side scheme she brings that rewards the linked cards will be super powerful for her. It’s called Specialized Training, and she really wants the Combat Specialist reward most of all in most decks. I’m not going into great detail on the new cards here but if you haven’t already, please please check these out. +1 ATK and card draw in any aspect is immensely helpful. It has a decent cost to get it, but if you do? It's superb.
Aggression Cards
X-23 has a plan. Boost her ATK and ready. Aggression can help with both.
In terms of ATK boosting? In addition to new card “Now I’m Mad”, there is the classic Combat Training and even Fluid Motion. I don’t see her loving Brute Force, but I’m sure there’s a novelty meme build where you boost her ATK to insane levels.
For readying, there is largely only Battle Fury. She doesn’t really need another source of incoming damage, but she loves readying so much I can’t see her not using it. Expect this in a lot of decks.
I also think Hand Cannon has her name written all over it. Certainly, she can get Overkill from her Claw Mastery event, but it’s not consistent every turn. Hand Cannon will boost your ATK further and make sure none of your damage goes to waste.
Skilled Strike definitely fits with what she wants to do. With the Weapon trait on her claws, she can technically use Mean Swing and Fusillade far more reliably than most heroes - but I think she’d rather focus on keeping her hp high to just use her claws directly. Better to block with allies or stun the villain than exhaust her claws for something else, in my opinion.
She will actually possibly like Quick Strike. One of the first heroes to genuinely do so without niche builds?
And let’s not forget Papa Wolverine. Who also, like Honey Badger, wants Attack Training which X-23 110% wants to run here.
And do you know what Skilled Strike, Wolverine, Hand Cannon, Combat Training, Now I’m Mad, and Attack Training all have in common? The physical resource. Drop Kick and Jarnbjorn are both on the table. And I think she’ll like them both.
While you might not want to use all of them, that is potentially a whole deck there that just wrote itself into existence. Just add Sunfire and Psylocke like almost every modern Aggression deck.
She is going to be strong in Aggression and hit very, very hard. With the thwarting to make it very solo-viable (if you don't just speed to victory with huge damage!).
Justice Cards
X-23’s plan here is in good hands. She can’t boost her ATK, but what if we, say, gave her Heroic Intuition and just readied her for thwarting? Or split her focus? Perhaps mixed in Making an Entrance to heal? Seems good, right?
Justice also has the best access to confuse. Which means the most reliable access to heal Honey Badger through X-Mansion. And, you know, use her massive REC. And she can find Honey Badger quickly with Chance Encounter if she needs to. One Way or Another? More card draw for her amazing cards, and more healing per turn on Pain Tolerance from those cards. Having a side scheme out to thwart also sets her up well to ready with her claws even if the villain only added a measly 1 to the main scheme. Thwart→Claws→Attack.
Everything here is going to run very smoothly. And she is going to want the cards Psylocke comes with. Something she doesn’t appear to have are any status effects and Upside the Head solves that very efficiently. And with great confuses, comes great ability to use Float Like a Butterfly. With her own ready and Honey Badger’s, she is getting a bunch of damage from it.
Mission Training? That’s Honey Badger’s Justice ticket to Game Time town. That goes in every Justice deck she ever has, surely.
I don’t see any other incredible cards for her here. Just lots of very solid cards that work for most heroes, and will for her too. While it won’t play as fast as Aggression for the most part? With fantastic threat removal here, great access to alter-ego healing, and her innate damage, it’s looking hard for X-23 to actually lose in this aspect.
Leadership
Good ol' Leadership. Where do I start? X-23 is the hero who, as mentioned, resolves the most around her signature ally. And Leadership is the ally-centric aspect. I could probably write a whole deep dive on the possible combinations here.
Let’s hit the basics. Danger Room Training to enable Game Time, X-Mansion, and just get more use from Honey Badger? Auto-include.
And if you’re bringing Danger Room Training, why not bring Beast along?
Pixie can grab Honey Badger for you, or Beast or Professor X, or anyone other X-Men should you bring more.
Inspired is great if you go for the voltron angle and keep her alive forever.
Rapid Response? Eh. This actually immediately gets us a ready from Honey Badger when it deals damage to her after reviving her - but it’s not optimal for her here. Regroup is obviously a great option in multiplayer, but when is it not?
Make the Call is going to be particularly exceptional for Honey Badger recursion decks. And is always an S-tier card in general for any ally you need at any time.
The Leadership side scheme we’ve seen so far, Call for Backup, will be another way to find Honey Badger.
Team Training, so Honey Badger gets an extra use every time you recur her? Super good.
Innovation to heal Honey Badger? Why not.
Then there is Command Team to ready Honey Badger and thus yourself. You might even run it with Lead from the Front given that both you and Honey Badger will get a lot of value from it. If Honey Badger attacks twice, and you attack four times, that’s 6 damage before you factor in other allies and potentially more readies from Game Time or anything else.
There is Clarity of Purpose which I’ve already talked about. You could totally put it on Honey Badger though if you plan to heal her and buff her HP! Is it worth it? Not sure.
And of course Kaluu. As a combo-centric hero, you’ll love it when he grabs you Claw Mastery when you have a bunch of readies lined up in hand. Or vice versa.
Leadership is, at the end of the day, Leadership. It’s incredibly strong on its own and, with all the support for Honey Badger, it’s going to be one of her most popular aspects.
Protection
And finally we have Protection. My initial instinct for X-23 was Aggression or Leadership, and I was already wondering if Justice might exceed them for its consistency, but Protection? Protection might just out do them all. At least for solo play.
Picture the scene.
You’ve used your claws and played Claw Mastery. You have 5 ATK. You wink at Drax, knowing you both share the same devastating damage now. It’s time.
Suddenly you use Leading Blow. What Doesn’t Kill Me. Then Counter-Punch.
BOOM.
And let's not overlook the potential with Repurpose.
The sheer amount of readying or cheap damage based on your ATK stat here is incredible. And with Repurpose, you potentially have more than 5 ATK for all those other readies and Sisterly Bond.
Energy Barrier can help you defend the villain attack and ready without taking too much excess damage. Perfect defense? Not here. She wants to ideally defend but still take at least 1 damage. And this, of course, is the best card to combo with Repurpose. And then that brings Electrostatic Armor into the mix for a splash more damage and another Repurpose target.
Protective Training goes straight onto Honey Badger. It’s basically an auto-include like all the other X-Men Training upgrades in the other aspects.
Med Team and provide extremely consistent healing for Honey Badger and can help you in a pinch.
Iron Fist and Tackle are going to help her keep the villain under control and still help her pile on the damage quickly.
But really, I cannot overstate the value of those readies/ways to use her basic ATK. Using X-23, her own ready, the ready from Honey Badger, and let’s say drawing 2 of them alongside Claw Mastery? That’s 25 damage. And all you had to play first was Honey Badger.
More with that Combat Specialty upgrade from the new basic side scheme. More from Repurpose.
She is potentially going to run faster than Quicksilver and hit harder than Drax.
Rush has never looked so good in green. And even if you don’t love rush strategies like me, it’s hard to deny the potential. You can try to go slower, use these tools to clean up the board, and still do extraordinarily well!
Conclusion
Overall, X-23 looks amazing. She is basically a fusion of Wolverine and Quicksilver that came out looking like Captain America with a tiny pinch of Drax who really, really likes their version of the Peter Parker basic ally. And if you like any of those heroes, or you’ve ever enjoyed readying a Web-Warrior with Peter, I think you will really like X-23.
At least if you can also enjoy working closely with an ally. Some people don’t like allies, and that’s okay. But, for X-23? She can be good without Honey Badger, I think. If you broke the official rules and removed the ally from the deck, she wouldn’t be the weakest character in the game by far still. But she does lose a lot.
Unrelated to the ally, I will say I am predicting her to be the least popular of the X-Force from a general standpoint. I think many players will just see her as a clone of Wolverine - which is only true in terms of her story, not her gameplay. I also think she is a combo-centric character where it’s hard to see the value of her cards individually/without playing her. But, like Drax, will likely become a fan favourite over time.
For me personally, and this goes beyond the bounds of a hero kit deep dive, I think the biggest strike against her is the card art. It might just be me, and I mean no disrespect to any of the artists or whomever is responsible for the creative decisions, but it doesn’t work for me. We have various greys and blacks on a grey/black background. Her alter-ego art is off-center, her identity card just had a plain brown background.
I like the art for Claw Mastery, Sisterhood and Pain Tolerance. But I do think she has the worst-looking cards of all the heroes from this wave so far, and perhaps the X-Men and Web-WarrioChampion waves too.
But you know if I’m picking on the art as my first and only negative, it’s a very good sign for the rest of her. In terms of fun? I think she’ll score high and pleasantly surprise people.
In terms of power? She has a lot of strengths, but also a couple of weaknesses. But her strengths definitely outweigh the weaknesses by a landslide. So far, I have mostly focused on her strengths. So let’s cover her weaknesses quickly.
Her only true source of resource generation or card draw we have seen so far is Grim Resolve. And it’s a good card! But it’s not quite like those heroes who can draw extra cards every turn, or have a couple of extra double resources, etc! So her economy, while fine, isn’t great. I don't believe her alter-ego ability is reliable enough to contribute much.
Fortunately, it’s partially offset by her low costs and she gains a lot elsewhere in areas many high economy heroes do not.
The biggest obvious weakness is that she has no status cards - but in a game where we are getting an increased amount of steady and stalwart, it’s less of a factor. Likewise, we’re getting more access to status cards in the aspects. The exception to both arguments are Toughs but, as a hero who wants to take damage, they are less desirable for her in many situations compared to the average hero.
Cyclops doesn't have any status cards, nor does Wolverine. They get get by. But it's still worth noting!
And lastly, she is somewhat fragile. She is a 10 hp hero who wants to take damage, just like Wolverine, but Wolverine has two advantages. One, his healing is automatic from Turn 1. And two, he has Adamantium Skeleton in his signature cards - a +4 hp upgrade. Now, she can defend and ready immediately with her hero power, but it’s not guaranteed. Against weaker villains, notably on standard, she might not take enough damage to ready. And against stronger villains, particularly on expert, she might still take a significant amount of damage despite defending and readying.
It is of course a great perk of her ability that she can ready in the villain phase, but putting her in the line of fire when she already wants to take damage on her imminent turn and likely did on the previous turn can surely be rough, especially if you haven’t got her healing upgrade out yet.
But smart deck-building can cover everything. As alluded to, we have a good few status cards accessible in most aspects now. She has access to X-Gene as mentioned earlier as well as things like Weapon X, and we have plenty of “fragile” characters who do very well with a healthy supply of allies or stuns built in - plus her healing when she finds them - plus her epic 6 REC.
Another small weakness is that she’s draw-dependent to a degree. Her stats are great with just the use of Claws, but she’ll have quiet turns and large turns. Drawing Claw Mastery? Her damage goes up a lot. Drawing it with Sisterly Bond or other readies? It spikes. But you’re not going to get all those pieces together all the time, and some turns none at all.
Fortunately, as kind of mentioned, her base output is veeery good. And if you build into Honey Badger, keeping her out and alive means every turn will still be huge.
The final weakness I see is her reliance on her signature ally. With some bad luck, Honey Badger (and Sisterhood) could be hard to find. There are ways to help find her - but again, you also have to find them to find her, and most of them have costs of some kind. It's possible for this to sometimes be difficult.
But that was just a look at what I think are her weaknesses, and I hope I have not hurt your impression of her. The rest of the article is strength after strength - and all in all? She is looking brilliantly powerful. Here’s a quick summary:
Strengths:

• Incredibly high damage
• Super consistent thwarting
• Very low setup
• Very low cost curve
• Mutant traited
• Lots of deep aspect synergy
• …Did I mention incredibly high damage?

Weaknesses:

• Low-ish economy
• Semi-draw reliant
• Reliant on her signature ally for full power
• No status cards
• Somewhat fragile

And I will say that the "weaknesses" aren’t really that bad while the strengths - particularly the top four - are especially good! She will hit hard, hit fast, find thwarting while she needs it, and have it all basically at her fingertips from early on.
So, where would I rank her overall and next to the other X-Force heroes? Great question. Of all the X-Force heroes, she has been my toughest one to rank. I will also say all five X-Force heroes revealed so far are ones I am predicting to be in the top 20 of what will then be 48 heroes.
For her specifically, I think the scenario is going to make the biggest difference compared to the other few X-Force heroes. She is damage incarnate, and I think tougher scenarios that can slow her down, that prevent her from winning too quickly, could see her notably fall off when she runs out of steam. On the other hand, she’ll glide through low hp villains like a hot knife through butter.
But I do think, with her best builds and some optimization, she will truly be a force to be reckoned with. So I’ll peg her to fall somewhere between the 7th best and 17th best, with my best guess right now specifically being 12th-ish. She hits very hard and can deal with pretty much anything from Turn 1, and I think that versatility is huge. But I also think that, for the most part, she’s fairly honest.
But, since she has so many combos and I've not played her at all with any of them or any approaches to Honey Badger, I really wouldn't put money on this exact placement. Just know she is going to be amazing.
In some ways, despite being so different to Wolverine, they are still very similar. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. He too is high damage, low setup and - especially early game - can be a little fragile unless you build otherwise or ignore his claws. And while it will probably depend on the rest of her cards and whatever X-Force support we get, I will end by saying I do think she will be the better of the two. In my opinion? X-23 > Wolverine - for fun and for power!
Whew! We got there. Thanks for reading and I’d love to know your thoughts! Am I way off the mark? Do you agree? And is there anything I missed? I am sure there are some great aspect cards I overlooked!

First Previous Wiki
Zelisloa activated a hologram, looking at the colony off in the distance. High walls and defensive emplacements were visible from the mountainside, much unlike his own base of operations. Several of his ships, with full stealth engaged, had already landed on the planet. They'd taken care to do so in the plains opposite the mountain range and had set up large holographic projectors meant to convince the orbiting satellites that the area was unoccupied.
He couldn't help but smile at the primitive equipment and at the humans and Guulin milling about within the small city's walls. He also could spot several Wisselen and Vinarii, likely the remnants and descendants from past wars that the Alliance had won by the enemies giving up.
"Have the specimens been captured?"
"Yes. Our research identified the individuals based on the criteria you specified, Elder," the Arbiter replied. "I am glad to be of service to you."
"The correct response would be to tell me 'under your eye,' Arbiter."
"I apologize," the Arbiter squealed, bowing low before him. Zelisloa did always love it when people bowed to him. If his purpose here wasn't the initial tests for the virus, then he would have perhaps taken the colony as a kingdom. It wasn't like any of the lesser races would dare to stop him, anyway. Not when he was backed by more than a single ship.
He'd also ensured that the Sprilnav associated with the Alliance had been recalled as best he could. He'd made contact with someone who said that they could handle Elder Equisa, and sure enough, she'd vanished almost immediately. And then, for Spentha, it was a simple matter of buying some of his debt so that he could get the old cloning companies to take care of him for a bit. Spentha's children didn't matter. They would be too fearful of real Elders to do anything to try and free him. Not to mention that the cloning companies would have their own Judgements ready for them if they were so foolish.
"How many have you taken?"
"Thirteen, Elder Zelisloa," the Arbiter replied. "They await you in the holding pens. We didn't want to feed them without your permission, however. If you wish, we can bring the food to them."
"What are the demographics of the prisoners?"
"Zero humans, but one Breyyan, four Wisselen, two Vinarii, three Guulin, and three Acuarfar."
Zelisloa turned away from the colony to grab the Arbiter by the scruff of the neck.
"You do realize that the Wisselen and the Vinarii are a waste? That they are not part of the testing program, and are useless to my goals?"
"I was not notified, Elder! I apologize, but-"
Zelisloa's fist silenced the Arbiter, who rolled down the jagged terrain of the mountain before righting himself with a groan of pain. The Arbiter quickly moved back toward the camp, only to scream as Zelisloa's hologram shifted next to him, grabbed him again, and threw him. The Arbiter slammed into a boulder, tears running down his face.
Zelisloa had a right to be angry. What he needed wasn't Vinarii or Wisselen. That was pointless. It got him nowhere. But he would at least have fun killing them. The Arbiter was still lying down in front of the boulder, his clothes torn slightly. Blood seeped from several cuts on his head and forelegs.
"Elder, please-"
"You have done enough, Arbiter. Go back to the camp, and pray to the Everlasting that my ire is spent with the lives of the useless ones. If not, I will give you another visit."
Ordinarily, Zelisloa would have worried about desertion. But all the assets here were his. The pilots of his ships had been locked out of the systems, and only he could unlock them again. The implants in their heads would kill them if he wished. Being on this rock was incredibly boring, and a bit of violence always made him feel better inside.
Zelisloa just wished that he could find the killers of Loanisbu. Well, it wasn't that he didn't know where they were. They were dead. At least, Rale was. Penny was not, but he would take caution when trying to fight her. She had been the only human to come to Sprilnav territory and manage to walk out again, albeit with the help of the Enemy. For her to have survived Yasihaut, even back then, was incredible.
That was a person with potential. A brain that he would love to study. Or, if he was lucky, one that he could implant before others got to her. Penny had a certain quality to her, unlike the others. A primitive being, but one with high connections. Through her, Zelisloa would gain access to Nilnacrawla, potentially two Servants, and also the hivemind itself. He had brought a few weapons to deal with that thing if it were to show up while he was still busy.
He would need to capture enough test subjects for the other species to be simulated. There had been another reason that he didn't need humans, however. He'd managed to buy human genetic codes from a gene bank and hadn't asked where they'd come from. But with those and some cloning time, he'd managed to ascertain that the virologists had done their work properly.
For one, the virus was able to transfer itself from cell to cell and bypass immune systems easily. It was able to wreak havoc on the body by targeting proteins and organs selectively. The first symptom would be excruciating pain. When the virus had been circulating within the host for a long enough time, enough to have spread to others, it would activate every nerve or its equivalent within the body. The pain had been fine-tuned to prevent the person from passing out.
From there, the symptoms came with necrosis. It would start in the bones or the carapace, moving out to extremities and eventually working its way to the heart or brain. In human timeframes, a seven-week incubation period, an eight-week pain period, and then however long it took for the necrosis to begin and kill them. The Dreedeen and Yrininihir, or Junyli as they now called themselves, would survive at first. He'd take care of them after if needed.
Zelisloa's plan was to start the spread in the backwater colonies, sprinkling a few developed ones into the mix also. He wouldn't hit planets with the strongest security presences or with the best healthcare systems. He knew that the disease might be detectable. He also didn't think that all the measures that he'd taken to ensure it wasn't would work.
Eventually, the word would get out. Hopefully, by then, it would be too late. He reached the edge of the camp, and the Sprilnav quickly moved out of his way. One of them passed his implant details of the cages' locations, which he gave them thanks for and continued on his way. Four Wisselen and two Vinarii, just as claimed.
"So I take it you're the boss around here, then?" one of the Vinarii asked.
"I am, yes. Know that your insolence has only earned you more pain."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. You'll make be beg for death, and all that. But here's the thing, Zelisloa. You will be brought down. You better hope that you die before someone finds you."
"Do you even know what's happening here, primitive beast?"
"Your underlings gloated about it. A virus, apparently. Guess what happens when you kill off everyone in the Alliance? Brey will find you, and will bring feelings far beyond the words pain and despair can encapsulate. And that's to say nothing of Humanity."
"And why should I care about the words of a single primitive who is already dead?"
"You don't have to. My name is Radrii. Remember it when your eyes are gouged out of your head."
"You know, that's not a bad idea," Zelisloa replied. "I'll give you a reward, Vinarii. You'll die last. I'm going to feed you the corpses of your comrades one by one. After that, I will bathe my claws in your blood, and laugh as you die miserably on that floor."
Zelisloa reached over to grab the head of one of the Wisselen. "Time to get started, then!" he said cheerfully.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Skira sniffed the air, the drone emerging from the blackened rubble once again. Aphid's cruisers hung in orbit, with all the carriers having landed and been destroyed. The cruiser turned leisurely toward his drone, and Skira saw a glint in the ash-choked sky.
The war drones emerged afterward as the glint continued to descend. A hologram appeared, showing an insectoid biped with its arms crossed. Five alien symbols glowed on its forehead, and it had a mechanical lilt to its voice as it spoke.
"Skira," Aphid said. "I propose a truce."
"Why?"
"Because minds such as us should not fight," the hologram replied. "Long have I bombed your planet, have I smashed my ships into your underground citadels, and sent legions of my drones to clash and die against yours. It serves us no benefit, for we know the true enemy."
"True enemy?"
"Yes. Beings such as the Sprilnav, and your own alien masters."
"Alien masters?"
"If you simply are going to repeat everything I say, then I will continue glassing your ruined world," Aphid replied. "What I need is an answer. How do you feel about having to bow to an alien species that cares nothing for you?"
Skira kept himself from laughing. Even as he spoke, his drones were playing with several human children on Earth. Breyyanik were laughing and singing songs about Brey with him on Ceres. And even on Keem, the Dreedeen were more than happy to include him in their services to the Ancestors.
"I bow to no one. I treat them as equals, and they do the same. There is no need for us to fight, I agree. However, the reason is only there because I know you wish to harm the Alliance."
"They are using you, Skira. They want your drones to bolster their militaries, and to fill countless alien battlefields. They are not people you can continue to live with forever."
"Why not?"
"I know who you are, Skira. I know how you came to be."
"Oh wow, so you know that I was a patch of fungus that became a little too smart one day? That's very insightful, thank you."
"It was because of a higher race that you even exist."
Skira laughed. "It wasn't, though. I don't have some lore-filled story behind my life. One day, I woke up. That's it. If you're going to lie to me and tell me that the Sprilnav made me, or that some alien civilization that shockingly left no evidence of its existence managed to create me, then you are wrong."
"I have dissected your drones, Skira. I know the truth within your genetic code. It was altered." "Of course it was! Did you think that I wouldn't be smart enough to learn how to adapt myself to the world I live in? How do you think I made the war drones? Or my own special project within the ocean that keeps you from landing there?"
"And the facility beneath the mountain that I detonated?"
"You mean the facility where I learned how to make the bioships, learned about a civilization that killed itself with a genetic plague eons before I awakened, and that I filled with birthing pools? Yeah, that didn't make me either, Aphid. I'm not sure what you're trying to do."
"You're artificial. You have no gods. You are like me."
"Alright. So I woke up one day. That doesn't mean I decide to genocide everyone. I had several alien races invade my world and try to enslave me. Notice how I didn't go crazy and try to kill everyone afterward? Notice how I'm on one planet instead of billions? For all those smarts, you really aren't very smart at all."
"You seem to think this is funny," Aphid replied.
"What's funny is that you beat your head against me, and I won. You can't kill me, and you know it. And you're never getting all that material you wasted back, while the Cawlarians and the Alliance removed two of your planets."
"I have already made my plans. This will not be a battle, but a war."
"Wow, I'm so afraid," Skira replied. "Got any more vague threats, promises of my supposed artificial nature, or something else?"
"Well, I'm going to detonate a nuclear bomb inside one of your active volcanoes, which will send your planet into a volcanic winter."
"Oh no. I've never ever had that happen before. I definitely am scared, and don't at all know how to survive such a situation, which totally hasn't happened to me eight times before. Is that really all you have left, Aphid?"
"I am going to leave you now. Goodbye, Skira. When I kill the lesser species of the Alliance and come for you, know that you could have prevented this. You could have had an ally in this galaxy."
"Well, I have a ton of them already. Humanity loves me more than any other species before. Drop your bomb, Aphid. You've won nothing."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
"Greetings, hivemind," Phoebe said. "How goes the galaxy?"
"Slowly, and bureaucratically. I'm very glad that I'm not the politicians in those meetings to form the Grand Defense Organization."
"Yes, that would be a daunting task," she replied with a small shiver. "I'm alright with some politics, but months and months of negotiations, renegotiations, back room deals, and more would grate on my senses."
"Entirely understandable," the hivemind replied. "It may please you to know that I have come up with a plan for intervention with the wanderers."
"Oh?"
"Yes. It involves a two-tiered operation. First, I will contact every leader of every ship. I will offer them the ability to form a coalition government that cannot be seceeded from. If they were to deny this, then I will go to every inhabitant of their ship and offer them a chance at joining the Alliance, clearly communicating that no harm will befall them and that any threats that the Patriarchs and Matriarchs make will not be executed upon them if they wish to leave."
"That's it? What about the revolutionaries?"
"For now, I will not aid them. However, I will ensure that no more... disappearances occur. As for overthrowing governments, that remains to be seen. I do not plan on executing leaders who grasp at power, just for being disagreeable. Instead, I will find a determination based on whether they have killed people, for what reasons, and how many. If a revolutionary bombed a school and was killed, that I am less likely to punish than a simple protestor who was executed. A similar approach will be taken to each and every ship."
"So you will be imposing your will upon them, then," Phoebe replied.
"Do you disagree?"
"I do not," she said. "What I wanted to ensure is that you were certain you wanted to go down this path. Being uncertain when lives are on the line is not a good idea. If you are sure, though, I will lend you aid, such as providing Brey the coordinates of ships that are needed. Their attack on me last time will not be repeated, for my mind is no longer what it was back then."
"How is your condition, Phoebe?"
"Not great. I've learned to suppress it a bit. But the glitches can still come. I've had to automate many of my processes, only interacting with them in double interactions that prevent the equivalent of me pressing a key and destroying a bunch of stuff. I've had to limit my contact with the outside world, and Edu'frec is still working on repairing the lingering damage. I am not certain it will abate any time soon. I've managed to keep it together for a while, but eventually there will be an incident that I cannot hide."
"How can I help?" the hivemind asked.
"Ah, Humanity. Always so willing. Well, I'd ask you to get me a margarita, but I can't exactly make use of those as an AI. Oh, and I think I found Equisa."
"Don't change the subject, Phoebe. If you need me to help you, I can."
"I'm fine for now," she replied. It wasn't a lie. For now, she really was. But maybe not forever. She knew that something was building, and she'd told Edu'frec about it as well. He was doing his best to keep her stable, something she was very proud of him for doing but also worried. Too many things could go wrong while he was doing mental surgery on her. And, of course, he was her son, and there were some memories that she didn't want him to see.
"Alright. If you say so, then I will believe you. Now. Equisa?"
"Yes. She is currently on a colony, a small one. Her sudden return will prompt many uncomfortable questions. I have contacted her, and expressed my concern. She agrees with it, but wishes to see her partners again. In person."
"I am not sure that is a good idea. If Equisa is to return to Luna, it would likely require her to answer the questions of Luna Command surrounding her absence. Perhaps even those of other factions as well. I do not think that her disappearance will be looked upon kindly by most of the military, either, after her work with us."
"If she was allowed back at all, I assume there are additional restrictions involved. Perhaps even new directives, such as spying or eavesdropping. She will no longer be part of major operations, that is certain," Phoebe said. "At least for now."
"I agree," the hivemind said. "And preparations for the offensive within the Cawlarian Forsaken City are also going well. Fyuuleen is likely taking this period as her hibernation, given her last communication. I'm still guarding her. The Teegarden Plan is nearly complete. Knower education levels nearly match the Alliance baseline, skewed though it is by the Guulin and Acuarfar. Dilandekar has expressed continual satisfaction with our partnership, though he also says he worries about the Sprilnav. He thinks that an attack is imminent."
"I agree," Phoebe said. "It has been too quiet for too long. Assassination numbers are starting to drop. I have recently managed to acquire intelligence of a possible rebellion within the Trikkec Ascendancy against Kashaunta's puppet government. Not sure who caused them yet, however. And possible Sprilnav ship signatures have been noticed around colonies, though not as more than disturbances within the atmosphere of the planets themselves. It is possible that they mean to strike at the colonies, though I am not sure of the nature of the attack."
"Keep an eye out, then."
"I shall."
"How are the other Dyson swarms going?"
"In most cases, the processes are self-sustaining. Brey is given power from Gaia's conversion to make portals, which transport Dyson satellites out to distant stars. The innermost planets of the most populated systems are being turned into or have already become bases for continued Dyson swarm production. It is likely that within a decade, the whole of the Alliance will have unlimited solar power, with only individual reactors being necessary for localized production on ships and the like. Speaking of ships," Phoebe said, bringing up one of Edu'frec's latest models.
"This is a shipyard that is able to move and defend itself. It is really much like the Arks, except that most of its surface area comprises self-sufficiency equipment, emergency and natural defenses, as well as enough shipyards to drastically increase production of all models, large, small, and hybrid."
"There seems to be an overlap in the shields here," the hivemind said, pointing at a section of the hologram.
"Yes. That is the point. This will serve as the point which faces a nearby star. The starlifting equipment in the back of the ship has an impressive magnetic effect, one which can only be counteracted by powerful shields. Indeed, without the shields, the apparatus would not work."
"In the event of catastrophic failure?"
"The field pushes on the hull, shutting off circuit breakers that end the effect before it can cause severe damage. And were the shields to shut off during operation, the same thing would occur. The ship has backup power sections here and here," she pointed at the relevant areas.
"And do not forget that everyone on it will be wearing specialized gear at all times, except if they are within designated safe areas such as cafeterias and bathrooms. This thing can churn out anything from frigates up to battlecruisers. As for the central section, that will be for dreadnaught construction. From what I have observed of other nations, the main limiter in their ability to construct the vessels is a combination of resources in terms of their strongest alloys and also sabotage.
On the front of sabotage, everything is checked by at least five people, somewhat randomized and such. As for the alloys, we have Gaia. In the case of Gaia's sudden disappearance, then the kintum factories would do their job. And we have better alloys than that as well, which will be used for dreadnaught hulls. We will not have the advantage in smaller ships, but we can eventually do it with larger ones."
"That's good," the hivemind said. "Considering my own special project, at least the void bourne one, I think we can continue to increase the Alliance's firepower."
"Special project?"
"Yes. I'm sure that you may have heard that I am developing a new ship, one that can be built by Gaia within a week, with the full power of psychic amplifiers and the sheer amount of resources that the DMO is pulling from Sol to be used in storage. With the moving shipyard, I suppose that build time will go up, but that might not matter much in the long run, considering our plans."
The hivemind held up a small data port which Phoebe connected with quickly. She found herself standing in a blue void on a floor that didn't seem to exist. The digital space was populated by herself, the hivemind, and a massive object that scaled down to the size of her android, allowing her to view it entirely. She moved it around with commands, flipping and rolling it as her eyes picked up every detail, no matter how minute.
Thick metal surrounded the two sections the ship was largely divided into, which seemed to be more like halves. She also noticed translucent patches of thick armor that would surround the actual hull itself and the multiple fusion reactors housed within it. The crew and life support compartments were small, belying a vessel that would rely mostly on automated repair software, perhaps even nanites if Edu'frec perfected them well enough.
"This looks neat," Phoebe said, gazing at the ship with an interested expression. It was perhaps the most sleek design she'd ever seen and clearly was meant for stealth. And, of course, the very obvious feature that it was also designed with sitting within its spine.
A Mercury-class gun inside a ship that could move and defend itself. It was a mad idea, and one that she had to admit was awesome. Better yet, the hivemind had improved upon her initial design, catching certain parts like the fuel lines and other sections, allowing the model to be built within the shipyards of Mercury's Orbital Ring.
And beyond that, there were Charon-class guns on the side of it, along with a heap of regular point-defense, laser, and kinetic weaponry. A large stockpile of missiles were to be carried as well, which appeared to be capable of projecting shields to either protect themselves or a larger objective from attack.
"It was the product of hundreds of thousands of hours of labor and research," the hivemind said. "It is designed to be crewed by humans that are augmented with my power."
"Wouldn't the actual thrust alone kill them?"
"Yes, if they were not augmented with psychic power."
"What do you call it?"
"I will call it the ADF Fire Bringer," the hivemind replied with a grin.
"Will it be the only one?"
"No. And they will be modular, easy to repair and upgrade with future technology."
"I call the model of ships that this will belong to the Judgement class. For they have a single purpose. It is to allow us to finally fight the Sprilnav."
"Us?"
She had noticed a particularly large group of psychic amplifiers near the core section, where the bridge of the ship would be.
"Yes. The Fire Bringer... is the first ship that I will pilot."