How to make pom pom keychain

Shut Up and Smut!

2014.12.23 21:43 vivianvixxxen Shut Up and Smut!

An accountability/motivation subreddit for SmutWriters!

2013.05.22 01:41 axething Punk-O-Matic

A place where Redditors can share songs, videos, art, promote your POM band and anything made or inspired by Punk-O-Matic!

2012.04.26 07:50 SirTimmyTimbit The Gamer's Post

Community to discuss everything about [The Gamer's Post](

2023.06.08 19:24 Confident_Spirit131 Am I the asshole?

If you are aspiring to be a GOOD tattoo artist you LISTEN to your clients. It’s going on THEIR skin. Especially if it is THEIR WHOLE ASS IDEA. Help them create the masterpiece they want and are paying you to create.
Yes, some people don’t know anything when they come into a shop and ask for an ink piece having no idea what they’re doing. I am not this person.
I had an artist come up with a sketch to an idea I had. Fully planned on having her DO the tattoo. Sadly, I moved away or whatever but still wanted to work with her, However, the piece wasn’t to my exact liking and I asked for her to change it. I was even willing to pay more for the end result. She didn’t WANT to. It was on her tablet, I know it wouldn’t have been skin off her back to work with me on the art. (I worked at this shop & they would show me how easy it made her work) IN the end she didn’t think it was worth her time to change it or listen to my concerns. Be it she is only a 4 year tattoo artist, and i didn’t want to fight about a piece so important to me bc she was too lazy to draw a few gem stones or make sure important details wouldn’t get lost over time.
I went to an OG I deeply trust and respect, with decades under his belt. He listened to me and re drew MY idea.
The previous artist blocked me after I posted my new piece, and honestly I’m irritated by her inability to listen or see that I really did want to work with her but her disregard for what I WANTED was crossing the line for me.
With as much as she’d point out ppls mental illness’ or how some can’t speak up for themselves to get the final outcome that makes THEM happy, how important it is to let them speak. With how much she fought me over my idea, that was going on MY body and meant something SPECIAL to me... if you can’t take constructive criticism, just say that? Don’t make people feel like they’re “too much” bc you can’t handle what they’re asking for. I won’t feel bad bc you WOULDN’T deliver the piece I ASKED for.
Photo on the left is her work. - the crown, watch and gems were lost, and it overall still had an unfinished feeling.
Photo on the right is my OG. - he added the gems, glare, sparkle in the terrarium and fixed her crown 🙌🏼 really made it POP
Maybe I’m just the asshole but with my meds changing and my mental state, I couldn’t keep this to myself. 🤷🏻‍♀️
submitted by Confident_Spirit131 to TattooDesigns [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:24 JustDreamItMedia How To Use ChatGPT To Make Money (10 Ways)

How To Use ChatGPT To Make Money (10 Ways) submitted by JustDreamItMedia to Youtubeviews [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:24 saminhelicopter I had an outburst at the Autistic kid, and I don't know how to feel

I (16M) am autistic and go to a public high school with horrible special ed classes. There are only about 3 autistic kids in those classes, the rest with anxiety and anger issues.
There is specifically one autistic kid (17M) who we'll just call Pat, which is extremely low functioning and extremely innocent (not knowing much about consent and rejection as well). We are in the same PE period.I am new at this school, I joined in the middle of semester 2. So predictably, I'm like the shiny new toy in a kindergarten class.
I am also a cross dresser, having shoulder length hair and wearing feminine clothes, Pat thinks I am a girl. I don’t pass too well as a girl, I dress in a way I'm comfortable. But most people do mistaken me for a girl, so I don't mind. But the bad part is, Pat has a major crush on me, and isn't subtle about it one bit. I remind him every time I see him in the halls "I'm a dude" and he still doesn't get it.
Last week, we had our PE final. We all had our laptops out and the whole class finished after about 30 minutes. The gym teacher let us sit with our friends and watch videos. Pat calls me over along with his girl best friend(14F) which we will call Sofia (who he also has a crush on). His best friend is also autistic and one of the kindest people I've ever met. She was making fun of him as per usual, saying he looks like humpty dumpty and stuff like that. I left my laptop at home, so I borrowed his to look up game scores. He turns to me, "Samantha, Sofia, close your eyes" he says (he calls me Samantha). We close our eyes until he says to open them. we open. It's a photo of cheerleaders in bikinis. I ask him why he's showing us this. He says "I wish you girls would wear that, I'd kiss you" and Sofia was livid. She screamed at him and everyone was staring. He for some reason continued with "I'd ejaculate if you wore that." She grabbed my arm and stormed off, dragging me with her.
The next day, she wanted me to come with her to apologize. I agreed and we walked to his normal sitting area. She apologized and we sat down to have lunch with him. Throughout lunch, he was fantasizing about cheating on his girlfriend with us, then started groping my thighs. I had told him to stop at least 3 times before standing up and pushing him away. Along with that, I yelled so loud the food hall could hear me say "GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU FUCKING PERV" and "MY GOD HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU IM A FUCKING DUDE" and I, in front of the whole school, took off my bra padding (or fake boobs) then threw them at him saying "HERE'S YOUR PRIZE BITCH!” I didn’t throw them too hard, they’re just silicone.
Soon after i was taken to the office, not too much happened, we had a fairly long conversation on acting out or something, but he didn't know. I just said “Pat was hurting me and Sofia” and started crying about how Sofia was probably traumatized.
The other day, I found out he had done similar things to almost all of the 11th grade girls and was doing it to Sofia for years. I'm glad I was able to help a few girls. I also reported him to the school. but of course, he won a prize the next day for being autistic.
I’ve gone down a mental spiral. I haven’t worn any feminine clothes, makeup or hairstyles, I haven’t really gotten a full night's rest. I’ve just been wearing sweats and a tee shirt, which is one of the outfit styles I’ve been avoiding. My boyfriend has been there as much as possible. He can see the guilt and anxiety right through me.I feel like a really fucked up person for speaking out, but it was just an immediate reaction.I don't remember how to be myself, or be able to get rid of the look on Sofias face. I don't really know what to do and I feel so bad for even yelling in the first place
submitted by saminhelicopter to internetparents [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:24 Shabbir7856 Making Money on Binance 2023 Complete Detail earn more money online crypto news95

Friends, today I am going to tell you in detail how you can earn money from binance with very little chance of failure.Binance is one of the world's leading cryptocurrency exchanges, offering a wide range of digital assets for trading. With its user-friendly interface and robust features, Binance has become a popular platform for both beginners and experienced traders. This article aims to provide a comprehensive guide on how to make money on Binance, covering various strategies and tips for success.
submitted by Shabbir7856 to u/Shabbir7856 [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:24 Skullzi_TV What is your average daily income from stuff like this? Site recommendations?

I work from home. I am a game developer and a content creator, but I do stuff like this on the side for extra money.
I mostly use Prolific and Usertesting, but once in awhile I'll use Intellizoom (when its actually working) and Mturk (ugggghh).
My daily goal is $17 per day, but generally I make between $30-60 a day. Sometimes more, rarely less. I generally work 2-3 hours a day. I am somewhat surprised how much money you can make doing this. If you do it right, you can easily make more than you would at a minimum wage job. Which isn't saying much.
Also, a brief review of the sites:
Prolific is great. My main go to. The only thing I hate about it is how they throttle you if you take too many tests. Who tf cares, let me make my money. Worm goes to the early bird should be the way. Either way, this site is awesome.
UserTesting is another great one. Highest pay outs, work is easy. My main issue is the screening process. Some of these screeners are 100% the surveys themselves, and they are just collecting data until the false pretence that you "didn't qualify for the screener." Yeah, sure bud. 30 screening demographics and shopping questions all to get "Don't quality" on the last hit one.
Intellizoom is a broken mess of a site. The amount of captchas will decrease your hourly earnings by at least 20%, but they pay good when you are able to get work.
MTurk is a corpse that people briefly try to reanimate to remember to good times. Mturk used to be good, but now its a mess.
Any other good sites?
submitted by Skullzi_TV to ProlificAc [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:23 tEknonInja2p0 What in the Nine Hecks is the Tethered trait for?

This weapon is attached to a length of rope or chain that allows you to retrieve it after it has left your hand. If you have a free hand (including if you've just thrown a two-handed tethered weapon and have a hand holding nothing but the weapon's tether), you can use an Interact action to pull the weapon back into your grasp after you have thrown it as a ranged attack or after it has been disarmed (unless it is being held by another creature).
I feel like I've turned this trait up, down, and sideways, and I just can't wrap my tiny smooth brain around it.
It's another way to get a thrown weapon back to your hand, so it's looking at the returning rune. This could let you skip it and pick up a different one, except now you're picking up an extra action you have to take somehow. The Reload trait exists, so it's not too wild a concept, but all of the Reload efficiency feats specifically call out that you use an Interact action to Reload. Unless I'm mistaken, this means you can't use any of them to soak up the action you need for the Tethered trait. Before you have access to the returning rune I could see how it's better than chasing down a thrown weapon every time you throw it, but turning every ranged attack into a two action event sounds pretty rough.
It could also make dropping a weapon if you need a hand in a pinch feel better, but if that's a problem then I'd be looking at picking up a weapon harness instead of locking myself to a small subset of weapons.

Am I missing something? I can't help but feel there's just something I'm not seeing here that lends this trait to some kind of build, or some interaction that sets it apart from other traits.
submitted by tEknonInja2p0 to Pathfinder2e [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:23 Melodic-Appeal3017 First day as a server!

Hi everyone,
Just looking for any advice or suggestions.
26M first time working in the food industry. I joined a restaurant as a servebartender for a local Mexican restaurant and had my first day of training yesterday. The restaurant is located in a fairly residential section of Manhattan so there is a lot of foot traffic and regulars. The staff mentioned that they earn, on average, $200-300 a shift in tips (pooled tips).
My impression from yesterday was that it's a pretty chill environment with supportive and easygoing staff/management (I understand from recent posts here teamwork is critical in this industry). The menu is pretty short and simple so I'm guessing understanding the food items and description will come over time.
Does anyone have general advice or suggestions on how to thrive in this industry as a server? In particular, getting on the good side of your co-workers and making good tips lol.
As a graduate student, I knew I was going to start a serving position so I subbed to this page months ago to prep myself. It's nice to finally contribute!
submitted by Melodic-Appeal3017 to Serverlife [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:23 yourmoneyback1980 I got insulted this morning here for trying to show people how to do drop shipping business

I wrote a long thread on how to get fedex woth best prices to ship your packages and how to get and use visa credit cards to shop online and how to shop for the best deals and how to get the best suppliers etc etc, i went into details, I posted before about dropshipping tips and this morning it was supposed to be my third and final one with the best useful tips to help people start for real ...
and just when I POSTED IT in the morning, someone wrote me this glorious comment :
"allah la trabhek m3a sbah rabi"
just because i posted few pictures of the men thongs underwear that are trending and selling fast and quick, i tried use them as exemple to show people how to choose the best deals...
by the way i did it for free i was selling nothing looking for nothing i tried help people build an e-business platform using Reddit just like all other communities do (yes they all do but they won't show you how), there are lot of secrets you haven't seen yet on Reddit, its not just a community portal it has lot more to offer !
I am sorry i tried to help but now i understand why Algerians don't help each others and why they keep their business secrets and tips for themselves, even when you try help an Algerian he will always be ungrateful find a way to make you feel down, this is very sad god knows this is painful for me.
So, i guess i won't take risk to hear such words again, let this subreddit just stay as it is , trolls and weird people talking about fake dating stories and god who knows many fake relationship stories about supposed foreigner girls dating Algerian men and complaining about their behaviors and attitudes or whatever (next time check their reddit profils before first).
ok, god bless you guys , salam
submitted by yourmoneyback1980 to algeria [link] [comments]

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submitted by AutoModerator to StirlingCooperDating [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:23 uphold-log-in Wealthsimple Login Log in to Wealthsimple

Wealthsimple Login Log in to Wealthsimple

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submitted by uphold-log-in to u/uphold-log-in [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:23 jackofalltrades11794 Is it worth the upgrade?

Is it worth the upgrade?
It’s so beautiful, should i upgrade it to infinity or keep how it is. I wish i didn’t have to make a choice and could always go back to this if i wanted.
submitted by jackofalltrades11794 to MarvelSnap [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:22 Lost-Dragonfly979 Me 17f and my ex 19m situation (any thoughts are welcome)

(Keeps taking it down cause I apparently don’t know how to use this app)
So I 17f was with my now ex 19m he did so much to make me feel like crap. And I keep catching myself wanting to get some kind of revenge on him. I know I shouldn’t but let me give you the gist of things. In the beginning he was very jealous and overprotective, but wouldn’t get mad at the guy he’d get mad at me. Ok, we somewhat work past that still have issues oh well they’ll work themselves out. Atleast that’s what I thought he slowly stopped doing anything. And I mean anything he wouldn’t clean his house brush his teeth or even do laundry really. He’d wash the clothes he’d need for tomorrow. And few months before we broke up he lied to me that a girl on his phone was “family” didn’t see him cheating went through his phone one night cause of it. I mean the s*x wasn’t even good but jeez if I didn’t want to he’d make me feel bad sayin I didn’t want him and all that. Made me feel bad about buying me stuff when he’s the one that said buying stuff is his love language. I told him to stop buying me things, that I didn’t care about that I just wanted long talks and wild flowers. Made jokes that he spent this on so many ppl and just me and him costed more for our dates. Told me it was like tossing a hotdog down a hallway once (he’s the only person I’d been with btw). If I tried talking about anything and how it made me feel he’d throw a fit, saying he will just stop joking with me all together cause it always makes me upset. But then if I said he’d blatantly do it to upset me he say oh Yk I’m an A-whole . He wouldn’t even be there for me when I had to go to 3 different funerals with him he never went. I went to the only funeral he had to go to that happened the first few months we was together. He did so little yet so much to him that what I was doing was nothing compared to what effort he put in. Like what effort dude you left me stranded one time and went to sleep but if he even had a flat tire I was makin sure he made it home. Sorry everytime I think I’m done more pops up. It’s so frustrating I get I’m not perfect but why’s he have to be like that. He even tried convincing me that I cheated on him when all I did was play basketball with my friend once they quit playing horse. He was there so I was like why didn’t you break up with me then and he had nothing to say then. And he blocks me and tells me he wasted 2 years on me. I drove myself nuts trying to stay with him. ( Ik you’ll think I’m dumb for stayin understand he’s my first long term relationship and I wanted it to work so badly.)Ik I wasn’t perfect Ik I lost my temper a few too many times trying to make him understand how I felt and that I didn’t feel loved when he would t text or even call when I hadn’t seen him. But then I’m the one that didn’t want to see him. So when he made another excuse instead of meeting my family then wanted to be rude to me cause I would t let him stop talking about it then tries to ignore me. I called off the relationship he’d done it so many times each time it was something different. Didn’t matter that I spent more time with his family than my own. (Again sorry for babbling on and on.)
submitted by Lost-Dragonfly979 to u/Lost-Dragonfly979 [link] [comments]

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submitted by CrakRevenue to u/CrakRevenue [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:22 JustDreamItMedia How To Use ChatGPT To Make Money (10 Ways)

How To Use ChatGPT To Make Money (10 Ways) submitted by JustDreamItMedia to YouTubePromoter [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:22 Toofybro 4k game streaming to TV

Hey all, I've recently moved into a new house and I've got my office/gaming computer setup upstairs. I'd like to be able to stream and play games on the TV in the living room downstairs wirelessly and seamlessly. My TV and gaming pc are about 7m from each other vertically. The router is located right next to the TV downstairs.
I've used moonlight in the past to stream to a laptop and it works ok, but the quality was definitely no where near as good as native, and looked like a compressed mpeg file, which makes me worried that it's going to look horrendous on a 65 inch TV.
So basically I have a few questions:
  1. What's the optimal setup I can use to stream from my gaming PC to my TV wirelessly? I'm only interested in doing this if I can achieve near native quality on the TV. (Note, would love to use an ethernet cable but my wife would probably fight me about it. So it's not an option at this point)
  2. How can I send inputs with minimal latency/packet loss on a ps5 dualsense controller from my living room to my gaming pc upstairs?
More random info for context: * My current router is a crap ISP one (virgin), so happy to get new equipment if it will do the job better. * Gaming pc is running Linux * Gpu and CPU are both AMD
submitted by Toofybro to HomeNetworking [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:22 uname_IsAlreadyTaken can't find last "Areas Discovered"

I'm missing 1 area from several regions and I don't see it on the map. Anyone have any tips on how to find the missing ones? e.g. color blind settings? I'm not color blind bug I was hoping there is some way to make it pop.
submitted by uname_IsAlreadyTaken to diablo4 [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:22 CB_scorpio Level Up your game on @MultiversX! by @AndreiMX_

Level Up your game on @MultiversX! by @AndreiMX_
Get ready to ascend from 0 to POWER USER with all the tips and tricks you need in one image!

Level Up your game on MultiversX!
♦ GET @xPortalApp
Step 1
Scan the QR code and download the best crypto wallet ever !!!!
Trust me!
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Step 2
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DO NOT SHARE IT WITH ANYONE! And I mean, not even your wife, hehe.

Step 3
Claim your Herotag.
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For DeFi transactions, install the #MultiversX DeFi Wallet.

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Step 1
Add liquidity on @xexchange, then use your LP tokens to farm the governance token of the DEX, called #XMEX.
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Your #XMEX rewards will generate additional rewards just by holding them.
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Or try any of the other DEXes from #MultiversX, such as:
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@DX25Labs as well as @CelestDefi are currently in Testnet, but they for sure will bring new features for the #MultiversX community.
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!!!!Correction: @CelestDefi is actually live on Mainnet!

Step 5
Hunt the highest APAPY and distribute liquidity to earn rewards.
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Lend or borrow tokens and NFTs for whatever you need on @JewelSwapX and soon on @HatomProtocol, you will be able to lend and borrow a much larger variety of tokens, including Liquid Staked ones.

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@JEXchangeDefi and @EsdtMarket is the place to trade tokens P2P before they are launched on a DEX, but also after.
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Autostake your LP tokens with ease, using @autoscale_ or @ProteoDefi.
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Other DeFi protocols on #MultiversX offer a multitude of features if you are into DeFi:
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Stake EGLD and hold energized XMEX to participate in xLaunchpad which has previously launched:
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Try the other launchpads from #MultiversX.
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If you are a builder, I strongly recommend checking @egldhub, @xBuildersHQ and xWiki.
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Interesting tools for your wallet can be found on @EgldInfo, including wallet value or sniper.
Step 4
Want to calculate rewards from xExchange?
Then @ErdTools is the place for you. Calculate your Metabonding and Metastaking.

Step 5
Build, Manage, and Grow DAOs on the #MultiversX ecosystem with @PeerMeHQ.
Step 6
More charts, swaps, compounds, single-side liquidity, and a pioneer in this ecosystem for auditing SCs, is @arda_project.
Try it out!

♦ Explore #MultiversX chain
The main explorer like no other in the web3 space is the #MultiversX Explorer, you can track and view transactions, tokens, NFTs, and much more.
Go ahead and take a look, I know you will be impressed.
The second most popular explorer is @egldscan, which recently got a UI/UX upgrade, making it even easier for users to explore the #MultiversX blockchain.
That's a wrap!
If I missed anything, please drop it in the comments below!
Aaaaand if you found this thread interesting:
- Follow @AndreiMX_ - RT the tweet below.
Thank you!! 🤝

Source: [email protected]_
submitted by CB_scorpio to elrondnetwork [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:22 Dingdongmycatisgone Question about diagnosis timeframe?

Heyo, this is my first post in here so I'm mustering up a lot of courage to ask... How long was it between the time you were assessed to the time you received your diagnosis?
I'm asking because my assessment was done on May 11th. Their site said 7 to 10 days for the assessment results to be processed.
So I expected to hear something around the 25th or 26th of May. I didn't hear anything and I gave them a couple more days before I reached out. They ended up reaching out to me on May 30th to say that a family tragedy had occurred, which is understandable in my eyes so I told them it's all good and I understand... Except I gave them another weekish to follow up and instead decided to ask for an update.
I'm being told now (as of this morning) that it's 8 weeks minimum from assessment date to diagnosis and there are 27 people ahead of me, though they said they're trying to speed it up. This is completely new information to me and I'm even more perplexed because I confirmed the 7 - 10 day thing with them in person on my assessment date.
Am I freaking out over nothing or wtf lol. I'm so nervous because this doesn't make sense to me, unless this is something that truly can happen?
I'm also really hoping posting here doesn't bite me in the ass or something. I don't want this to affect my assessment results in any way.. So hopefully it won't. My assessment was not cheap at all. :(
submitted by Dingdongmycatisgone to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:22 Gypsy012 Voyager of the Seas - kid water area?

As the title says, anyone been recently and know if they have a pool or splash area for toddlers that are potty trained?
Before anyone comes at me with "why would you bring a kid?" Because I can spend money how I want 😂 plus I want to make memories with her.
submitted by Gypsy012 to royalcaribbean [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:22 ah85q Am I overreacting or do I have a poor host? Very strange experience so far.

I have a straight up perplexing experience at my AirBnB. There’s a lot of stuff, so I’m just gonna list it out:
What do I do?
submitted by ah85q to AirBnB [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:22 Fundr4Survivors PGA Tour Trophy Recommendations by (c) Dr. Diana Hallare (R) WIPO, USPTO

  1. Spponbridge and Cherry inspired but with golf ball instead with a flagpole
  2. Rooster carrying golf clubs on back - or can be like weather vane - can get from Mega Kh (Ru), NZ, Canada?
  3. How many "tuff sheds" but as cute cottages like tokyo toilets challenge can be at a golf course, strategically? bp windows? or can be storage sheds for belongings of the audience and players and caddies... eg during tourneys? udc+? do they bring their golf bags to the country clubhouse eg when they do casino royale? another shed for golf bags, accessible by golf cart or not? WIPO USPTO (c) Dr. Diana Hallare (R) Scotland
  4. Lavender field peacock background with upright golf club/tee/drive plus golf ball in front, even partial (for texture)
  5. diagonal golf clubs as part of the bird of paradise trophy
  6. Golf clubs like street lights (upright) and with street name signs (Samantha Sotto's website example, Haley of AGT? What Works? Tara Gentile? Is it cool that she teaches her toddlers+ to surf?) on the stem to indicate the labels, but with grapes with grape leaf and tendril at the bottom
  7. dentures/retainers (which would be silver lines with zircon/glass like of ravines and mountains) at the bottom, golf tools + dental tools spread like a fan atop, and a golf ball nested atop the dentures/retainers
  8. Mountain/Moutanin range like with fishing net on the left (traingle, obtuse/acute) and similar but mirror (or extend fishing net) on the right, (can be wavy) extra contours on the center with golf tools and the golf ball can be like the rising moon/sun
  9. Canoe/kayak/catamaran with 1 golf tool on each side and a golf ball in the middle with the flag as a sail (opt. latter)
  10. Ice skate/toboggan (Winter Olympics shuttle) with a golf tool (eg hickory irons) as the blade(s) at the bottom and opt. golf ball at shoelace ribbon or at the ankle area, even partial ball
  11. Golf tools forming the Mississippi Gateway arch with the golf ball at the center below.
  12. Dragonfly with the golf club head as the insect head - can use mother of pearl? or zircon? either for wings? the thorax+ like a bridge of a golf course pond?
  13. shield like of Veritas eg Dominican and Rice criss-cross golf tools in front with the ball atop the shield
  14. Golf Ball atop Arc de Triomphe replica
  15. Golden Gate Bridge with Golf Clubs as the "Strings" of the Bridge
  16. Westward Pioneer Caravan like a giant golf bag (half a joke: camels or horses?)
  17. Pineapple skeleton structure including the crown make with golf instruments like tiberti (flags too?) (Epcot or Louvre reminiscence?) (need for glass?)
  18. Banana tree, eg partial, tips of the golf clubs as banana fruit patterns with the flower at the end, eg amethyst ... (Women's golf?)
  19. Thumper with a ball going to his rabbit hole
  20. (c) Dr. Diana Hallare INspirenade (R)
submitted by Fundr4Survivors to u/Fundr4Survivors [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 19:21 rowanjane Broken

You were supposed to help me get over a fling. You became my addiction. I'm not sure I’ve ever been addicted to a person, actually I know that I’ve never been addicted to a person in this way. You walked up to me at the bar, we were both drunk, but it was so natural and obvious the moment I met you. I gave you my phone number. I never do that. I got home and was sitting on the kitchen floor looking at my phone about to text you, trying to think of what to say, when you texted first. I was hooked. You texted me first thing the next day. A couple of days later we met at the bar again and just talked. It was so natural and easy. I was feeling a little under the weather, I had two drinks and said I needed to go home. You walked me to my car and that’s where we kissed for the first time. I remember your arms pressing me up against the wall of the building I work in. Again I was hooked. I didn’t quite realize at the time how truly addicted I would become. A couple of days later I came down to the bar near your place. We had a few drinks and went back to your place. The sex was so intense. I remember asking “WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?” So many times we met. Every time the sex was mind blowing. After each time we met I would think about it, think about you, your face, for days after, every moment of every day.
You started to message me a little less often, but every time you did the rush of happiness engulfed me.
I wouldn’t hear from you for a while and I would become despondent, my emotions were out of my control, I could barely hold myself together. I would wake up every day with immediate thoughts of you and it wouldn’t relent until I passed out drunkenly at the end of the night. Only to start again in the morning. Mornings were hell. Laying in bed wishing I could just go back to sleep. Hoping sometimes for that infinite slumber that might release me from this hell.
I became terrified that I would never see you again.
I would send you texts that you claim you never got. “Your phone didn’t get good reception” “It wouldn’t let you text back”
I tried to break the cycle. I tried not to see you. I had sex with the fling to try to break the spell you had on me. It did nothing. What had once been fun became at once completely devoid of joy.
The times I’ve seen you since have been pure joy followed by utter despair.
I read our old text conversations like a cokehead licking the empty baggy.
I told my husband about you. It destroyed him. I broke his heart. It makes me feel sick. He knew there was something wrong and I just couldn’t hold it together to spare his feelings. I thought it would be a good idea to open up to him. I thought maybe he would understand and maybe we could open up our lives to other people. Other loves. I was being foolish and utterly selfish. I told you about this thinking maybe you’d say “I want you, be with me” You didn’t. You said you couldn’t commit. You said you have too much going on. He somehow, for some insane reason, still wants me. Still loves me. And here I am writing this junkie love letter to you.
I feel broken.
submitted by rowanjane to loveaddiction [link] [comments]