It costs that much woah dude

This is the type of publication that we need to help lobby insurance companies to cover ketamine for our patients! We want to equip all of you with it in case you haven't read the article! This treatment won't be under so much scrutiny much longer!!
We cannot ethically post the actual article, but you can get free access:
https://www.nejm.org/doi/10.1056/NEJMoa2302399

Primordial origin revives as Pseudo-venerable but he has rank 9 immortal Gu and rank 9 immortal essence stored in the Primordial treasury
He attacks fang yuan, with a rank 9 killer move, fang yuan has no choice but to reveal his rank 9 heavenly web
Everybody is shocked! They understand fang yuan can refine rank 9 immortal gu!!
Knowing his trump card was exposed, fang yuan goes mental and attacks without holding back
a chaotic battle ensues! it goes on, giant sun joins Primordial and Star constellation and fights fang yuan, fang yuan uses Spectral soul as a cover and fights, after lots of fighting,
fang yuan escapes after inflicting injuries on all of them, he has heavenly web as protection after all, and he can attack with it as well
He goes back takes primordial domain, raises his heaven path attainment and all other path attainment and makes a rank 9 clone with paradise earth's corpse
Refines a few more rank 9 gu
Meanwhile Primordial origin goes rank 9, revives Genesis lotus!
Meanwhile Feng jiu ge revives Red Lotus immortal venerable!
Spectral soul through fire gu regains his sanity!! we gets his poem!
Fang Yuan becomes stronger and stronger after refining multiple rank 9 gu from the ressources he stole from central continent
Spectral soul goes back to crazed demon cave, an inheritance was left out by limitless there on purpose, he knew he might fail and left it there, even the "Sovereign immortal body recipe" was made by derivation gu and given to spectral soul by limitless!
Fang yuan starts the final climactic battle just before his chaotic disaster tribulation!!
Giant sun, star constellation, Primordial origin, genesis lotus, Red Lotus, feng jiu ge VS Fang yuan and his clone!!
A Huge chaotic battle that flips the regions and heavens on their back ensues!
Before or after the battle, Fang yuan acquires Self Gu! He makes it eat a part all rank 9 immortal gu! It keeps growing in level
Self gu unlike other immortal gu can eat parts of every gu, thats how it raises its rank!
Wisdom gu, strength gu, heavenly secret gu, heavenly web gu.....etc
Fang yuan finnaly understand and grasps fully the legends of renzu and understand that all this was Renzu's plan!
He couldnt get freedom and as everybody knows All variants human or beasts can never reach rank 9, therefore renzu sacrificied himself and his kids to make it possible for new people to reach rank 9 and be able to destroy fate gu!!!
Humans are devoid of attributes or talents unlike variant humans but that in turn restricts them! Snowman can only cultivate snow and ice path, rockman only sleep and cultivate rock path....
Renzu created a race so shortlived they wanted attain eternal life! so weak they sought strength! perservering so much they would take on humilation and torture if they had a chance of rise up
How does it compare to rockman who sleep centuries or featherman who would kill themselves the moment they lost freedom?
Thats why fate gu enslaved humanity to begin with, it was to stop them and renzu's plan, but fate gu supressed them so much and they still kept on living
But according to the heavenly dao, things had to be balanced so fate gu was forced to give them chances to rise up and so they did until it ended up with fate gu destruction!!

Am I the only person that unfollows the page of each live show notification sent out? When I see titles like $3 dollar starts I don't think I can roll my eyes hard enough. It costs more to print and buy labels than the money they'll make. Since the start of live shows all my offers have been beyond low ball. They're almost insulting at this point.

Not gonna add a lot of context about my dad...you all know the deal lol
I (21M) left my parents house exactly two weeks ago. My dad has called or texted me every single day. Not necessarily harassing me or anything, but just telling me he wants to see me again, to stay over for one night at his house, blah blah blah. I already went back once and I hated every second of it. Im paying my own rent because I wanted SPACE, not to continously go back to that shithole every few days.
I literally have plans to change cities in like 3 months lol. What's gonna happen then? I feel super guilty already, he tells me he misses me a lot. He's older (in his 60s) and i sometimes worry that it could affect his health, being sad all the time. But it's not like hes lonely, he lives with my brother (whose almost 30), and he has a shit ton of friends. I cant deal with him constantly nagging me. Can i get some advice on this?
Like i said im not gonna give a lot of context behind this, just know he's an awful person, physically and verbally abusive. I literally know people who have good relationships with their (great) parents, who left to be on their own just because they wanted to be independent, and even THEY dont visit their parents as much as he wants me to visit him.
He doesn't get boundaries. I'd have so much respect for him if he stfu for just a month. You had 21 years with me and it was hell for the most part. Ive been gone two weeks and you wont allow me to have some space. Idgaf if he misses me or anything...don't care. Like i said, i was around for 21 years, i need a break. Why is it always his wants and needs over everyone else's?

Start of Alex Series Start of Teacher Series: Lesson 1 Previous: Meet the Parents: Fated Victory Party Next Royal Road Alex and Freki Artwork // Class Picture Sub: Random3X (lore and more) Discord
​
July 20th, year 024 Angels Descent
The class, with two of their teachers, were en route to the Ironwoodlands. They had been on the road for a few days as the Ironwoods themselves were at the far west of Greed’s domain, and the gate was more central to the region.
“So, you kids ever been to the Ironwoods?” All but Tasha and Alex shook their heads to indicate no.
“I’ve apparently only been once when I met Elissa’s father… at least that’s what my journal said… memory is still hazy for me… Yuu, you’ve been here a few times, right?”
“Yeah, when master got tired of me making machines that destroyed buildings, he threw me to the elves to ‘play’, as he called it.”
“Any advice? Elissa hasn’t really talked about her home much, so I’m kind of in the dark myself.” The class focused their attention on Yuu, who held her hands to her hips and puffed her chest with pride.
“Of course, young one, I shall educate you as you do your students. After all, I am an expert in interacting with Ironwood Elves!!”
“Yuu… you are like a few hours older than me; I wouldn’t call me young?”
“Silence, young one!”
“So what should we do then? Are there any rules like for courting an Ironwood elf?” Maxwell asked, glancing at Tasha.
“Well, first off, ignore Tasha,” Yuu said bluntly. “Second, a big thing to remember is there are three clans of Ironwood elves. First are the worker folk; they do the everyday stuff. The second is the warrior clans; they are self-explanatory. Finally, there are the outside clans.”
“Outside clans?” Bea repeated.
“Oh, I’m part of that!!!” Tasha said, beaming a smile at everyone.
“They are clans not taught the normal ways of Ironwood elves. This is so they can actually interact with the outside world and not cause a diplomatic incident.”
“Uh… what do you mean?” Daisy asked, only to follow Yuu’s gaze towards Alex.
“Oh yeah… Elissa is part of the Warrior Clan, and the first time I met her, she gave me a friendly little bump to the chest.”
“That sounds cute,” Daisy muttered, thinking of all the times she had seen the pair be so lovey-dovey.
“Cute bit was when he flew through three walls and shattered his spine.”
“WHAT?!!!”
“Yeah, the warrior clan greet people they consider as friends with a full-force punch. It’s why their warriors are weirdly durable and able to endure considerable pain,” Yuu explained, glancing at Tasha, who had learnt such a skill from Elissa herself.
“So first rule, you see any elf with a weapon, flip them off, stick out your tongue and be as rude as possible. The second they think you are a friend, you will suffer for it.”
“My brother has been brought here?” Daisy muttered, feeling a pang of panic about her brother receiving such treatment.
“Oh, don’t worry; Elissa will keep them safe.”
“So, will they treat the Big Chief like a friend?”
“Oh yeah, certainly… this one, however,” Yuu said, gesturing to Alex.
“I’m technically rather hated by the Ironwood elves.”
“Why? Aren’t you marrying their princess?” Daisy asked, shocked.
“Well, need I remind you her brother took an arena full of noble children with high-ranking lords hostage to rescue her? They adore Elissa. I’m just the human bastard who stole her away.”
“To be honest, sir, from what Miss Yuu has told us, why don’t they just kill you?”
“Blunt question Maxwell but a thing to remember Elves live for a very long time. They see me more as a short fling that’ll last a few decades, maybe a century or two. After which, I’ll die, and she’ll move back.”
“And you’re ok with this?”
“Maxwell… a thing you’ll learn when you find the one… you will never care what the world thinks so long as you can be with her,” Alex replied as he looked out the window wistfully.
“We’re almost at the first town,” the carriage driver announced. “I ain’t gonna take you any further.”
“Good, we can get some rest in a real bed,” Kline grumbled.
Stepping out of the carriage, the class came face to face with their first experience of an elf settlement. They had originally had the image of what had always been written about elven homes. Buildings entwined with trees. Great structures as if moulding nature itself.
The image before them was an entirely metallic set-up. Every building was coated in metal plates and had countless spikes. Worse still was the severed monster heads resting on each building's roof.
“Big Chief?”
“You won’t get much rest outside the Ironwoods capital. This region is infested with monsters that attack every night.”
“Why would they settle in a region with monsters?!!!” Kline cried out.
“The majority of their population are warriors. Where else can they get a good fight?” Yuu replied.
“So Miss Elissa had to fight every night since she was a child?” Daisy asked once again, feeling worry begin to bubble up.
“You didn’t?” Tasha asked, looking perplexed. “Everyone around here, regardless of clans, learns how to fight monsters from when we first can walk. Only the warrior clan focuses on it and gets all the fun.”
The class decidedly ignored Tasha’s comment and chose a fortress-looking inn for where they would rest for the evening. Though they weren’t certain how much rest they’d get, especially after seeing the monster head hanging near the entrance. The innkeeper welcomed them with open fists, only to be rebuffed as they had been instructed to do.
“Fine, here’s your keys, you ungrateful pieces of crap!”
Throwing the key at the class, they only barely dodged as they lodged themselves into the wall behind them. A wall they couldn’t help but notice had numerous holes from past throws of the keys.
“Me and Yuu are gonna settle in at the tavern and have a few. You can get some rest,” Alex said as he sat at a table, ignoring the baleful glares pointed in his direction.
“Come get us if you need help,” Yuu added as she ignored an elf actively punching her in the face.
The class settled into a large room with bunkbeds enough for the whole class and their teachers. As they rested, trying to clear away the fatigue of a long journey, the hours began to pass.
“So Tasha… what are your parents like?” Maxwell asked, looking up from his spot on a bottom bunk.
“They are rather boring. Daddy works as a clerk in Hades seat. Mum works as a monster cleaner.”
“Monster cleaner?” Daisy repeated.
“Yeah, the dead bodies of monsters we slay we display on our buildings to show how strong a monster we beat. Well, after a while, they go icky and need cleaning. Mum handles that.”
“So, the really big monster head we saw near the entrance?”
“Yeah, means the guys here must be really strong.”
“I’m starting to wonder what I should fear more, the monsters or the elves,” Bea muttered as she snuggled on Gunter’s chest.
“Not sure what you mean… but I’m sure my family will love Stampy,” Tasha proudly took the small creature out of her travel bag, where it proceeded to munch on a piece of plant she offered it.
“Kwooooon!!!”
“I’m more wondering what they’ll think of me,” Maxwell muttered to himself.
“What was that?”
“Nothing!”
“Sparky… come on, boy, I got some snakkums for you,” Daisy said as she held out a piece of travel jerky for her duck-sized dragon. The small creature poked its head out of her travel pack and snatched the dried meat before retreating.
“He’s been rather scared lately,” Daisy muttered.
“Probably the field of danger here,” Tasha replied as she scratched Stampy’s long neck.
“Danger field?” Kline echoed, looking nervous.
“Can’t you feel it?” Tasha asked, looking confused. “Try to feel the aura.”
Relaxing, the class focused their senses, and that was when the pressure began to rise. They had been able to ignore it so far as it had become more like background noise. It was nowhere near as bad as when their instructors pressured them directly. But it was enough to cause minor discomfort.
“What is that, Tasha?” Bea asked.
“That is, um… it's all the monsters' aura getting spread across the woods.”
“So what we are feeling is…” Kline began before trailing off with a look of horror.
In one of their lectures with Alex, he had taught them you can increase the density of aura in an area by focusing and compacting it, but the problem with that is it reduced the range. Another option was you could increase the number of people releasing aura. Experiencing this pressure from a vague distance meant the numbers must be considerable or very strong. Likely both from what had been described.
“Why in the hell would people live here?!!!”
“Well, the trees were the original reason,” Tasha replied, oblivious to how nervous Kline was starting to become.
“The trees are really big, and iron whatsits grow through them. That’s why they call them ironwood trees. Also, my ancestors liked fighting and making friends, so here they could do both.”
As the class began to ponder who unhinged and crazy Tasha’s people must actually be, the entire inn violently shook. Jumping from their beds, the class immediately went into action mode and rushed down the stairs to find several of the inn’s staff rushing out the front door with weapons.
Looking around, they found their teachers relaxing with drinks, still having a friendly conversation as if they were oblivious to the dangers outside. Running towards the pair, they stood at the ready.
“Oh hey kids, me and Yuu were about to grab a deck of cards. Want to join in a game or two?”
“Sir, the inn is under attack!” Daisy shouted indignantly.
“And?” Alex replied, tilting his head.
“We should help!” Maxwell answered as if stating the obvious.
“Why?” Yuu answered this time. Both teachers looked confused. Ignoring the cries for help and pained screams coming from outside.
“Because, sir, you have the power to help!!!” Daisy shouted.
“And that makes me beholden to them? Daisy, I gained this power to ensure my freedom to do what I wanted. It may seem callous, but just because I have the power to help does not mean I or anyone else are under any obligation to help.”
“Big Chief, please help!!” Gunter pleaded.
“Sorry, but the dork is right. We may have the strength to help resolve many situations, but people do not grow if someone else solves every little thing.”
“Kids… this is a lesson you will need to learn someday… You can’t help everyone, and in reality, you shouldn’t. You will either run yourself ragged or become someone else’s tool. Gain power to ensure freedom. If you kids want to help, you can go and help. But me and Yuu here will be starting a professional game of snap.”
“Fine, we will go out and help them!” Bea shouted indignantly as the class stormed out of the tavern and out into the town.
The sight that greeted them was one of abject chaos. There were already a few collapsed buildings, and they could see people running around in a panic. Down the road from their inn, they could even see the remains of one of the attacking monsters.
It was a giant beast about the size of a two-storey tall building. It was covered in boney plates that, even from how far away they were standing, looked needlessly thick. While its tail looked like a massive boney club, the kind used by giants.
“Earthen Drakes… Armoursauses, if I had to guess,” Maxwell said, looking at the remains.
“What can we do then?” Bea asked as she channelled her energy into bringing out her possession summon.
“We can spread out in teams of two. One enhancer and one projection and focus on the small fry,” Kline suggested as he fired an accurate shot that took the head off a small turkey-sized lizard monster.
“Ok, Kline and Tasha, you go that way. Gunter and Bea, you go to the south. Maxwell, you and me will head east,” Daisy declared. Maxwell hesitated for a moment looking at Tasha before nodding. With their plans decided, the class split up to face the attack.

This might be a strange question to ask the loa subreddit, but with some manifestations not coming to fruition in the 3D, and some do, does anyone think that our desires are given to us at random and manifesting had nothing to do with it? I have a desire that I’ve kind of wanted more than anything, but I don’t want to give myself false hope by trying all these “methods”. I feel like I’m giving so much energy and power into my manifestations and my logical brain keeps telling me it’s fake, when I don’t want it to be. If anyone can help with doubts, methods that work best, etc. I’d be so grateful.

You're being a wise guy': Biden bristles as Lester Holt asks him to define 'temporary' on the day inflation hits 7.5 percent - but still insists prices will 'taper off' this year #democracy #freedom
Inflation went up again in January despite Biden saying it was temporary
The Labor Department said year-on-year price rises were at 7.5 percent
On Thursday, NBC News anchor Lester Holt asked Biden to define 'temporary'
'Well, you're being a wise guy with me a little bit,' said Biden as he smiled
But the figures - the highest inflation since 1982 - are worrying Democrats
Biden said Americans could expect prices to 'taper off' later this year
President Joe Biden called Lester Holt a 'wise guy' during a TV interview on Thursday after the NBC News anchor asked him for his definition of 'temporary' on the day inflation showed no sign of slowing and instead hit a 40-year high.
​
The White House has insisted that spiralling prices are 'transitory' and will begin coming down as pandemic supply chain pressures ease.
But on Thursday, the Labor Department reported that year-on-year inflation hit 7.5 percent in January - its highest level since 1982.
'I think it was back in July, you said inflation was going to be temporary,' said Holt.
​
'I think a lot of Americans are wondering what your definition of temporary is.'
​
Biden smiled as he pushed back: 'Well, you're being a wise guy with me a little bit.
​
'I understand, that's your job.'
​
The issue has sent Biden's approval ratings plunging and previous efforts to dismiss increases as temporary led critics to accuse him of being out of touch.
​
During the interview, which will be broadcast in full before Sunday's Super Bowl, Biden tried to explain what was happening.
​
'The reason for inflation is the supply chains were cut off, meaning that the products - for example, automobiles, the lack of computer chips to be able to build those automobiles so they could function ... they need those computer chips that were not available,' he said.
​
'So what happens with the number of cars were reduced the new cars reduced it but made up at one third the cost of inflation because the price of automobiles are up.

Chat us on +44 7593880762 on Telegram/Whatsaap if you are interested in Pejman Ghadimi - Exotic Car Hacks course.
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This is going to be a giant post so fair warning. I went through and catalogued all of the audio, text, and important video descriptions from the YouTube channel. Full disclaimer that I may have missed a few things or heard a few things wrong, I am only human after all! Hopefully this helps the community a bit!! I will be using these lines to separate different sections of text from the same video. I will use parentheses to state my own piece
•T_1
text: don’t hide don’t escape learn the history find/kill the founder
•Generation Loss: The Social Experiments Official Teaser
text: Generation Loss presents in association with JK Productions and Ghost Commander GENERATION LOSS The Social Experiments A live experience 2023
•T_2: The Inauguration (I am considering this portion a series. This video offers the viewer options, all of which are labeled as such. Some pieces of this portion are repetitive (ex: the “wrong” choices)
description: prove your worth
text: Welcome You have out attention Please ensure you are alone There are precautions in place The inauguration is necessary Prove your worth Please remain emotional Act upon first impulse Cats or Dogs?
-Option Cats/Dogs (both options have the same answer)
text: Good choice Now you understand what this is Next evaluation Which is best Power or Wisdom?
-Incorrect Option - Power
text: Wisdom becomes power Your input is no longer wanted Try again You were not supposed to fail Think harder Keep going Do you not understand? Who even are you? You are NEVER alone Go back NOW Do you think this is just a game? Think Different Do not hesitate this is not FUN Try again
-Correct Option - Wisdom
text: Impressive Wisdom is vital Which will prevail? Life or death?
-Incorrect Option - Life
text: Optimism makes on naive Your input is no longer wanted Try again You were not supposed to fail Think harder Keep going Do you not understand? Think Different Who even are you? Do you think this is just a game? Do not hesitate Go back NOW This is not FUN You are NEVER alone Try again
-Correct Option - Death
text: Interesting Let’s test that You or them?
-Incorrect Option - You
text: Noble yet foolish Your input is no longer wanted Try again You were not supposed to fail Think harder Keep going Do you not understand? Go back NOW Who even are you? You are NEVER alone This is not FUN Try again
-Correct Option - Them
text: Did you make sure you were alone? Yes or No?
-Incorrect Option - No
text: You should have Your input is no longer wanted Try again Are you alone? Where are you? What is this place? Is it even worth it? Do you not understand? Can you get out? Who even are you? (unreadable) this for Do you think this is just a game? Do not hesitate You are NEVER alone Go back NOW Try again
-Correct Option- Yes
description: Congratulations (and a linked video titled “?”
text: Good One final request Don’t look away Congratulations Your failures have not forgotten
-Video Linked in “Yes” Description - ?
text: You have no idea how deep the rabbit hole goes Countless outcomes A uniform fate Never stop watching Never stop exploring Anything will happen
audio: According the the comments, audio says “this is not the last thing coming”
•Connecting… (this is a new video, the previous series has ended)
description: Connection unstable. (There is also binary that the comments say translates to “from one to another”)
audio: “If you have any information on these individuals, don’t hesitate to call. We thank you for your cooperation during these times.”
•Connected
text: connecting… WELCOME You are now worthy Look into infinity One of many One of millions One to another GENERATION ONE: The Social Experiments
text on images (not all images have been described): DO NOT WATCH LIES It has all changed, It has changed everything, It will change everything, I will stop it, DO NOT WATCH IT ISNT FOR US (US is underlined) IT ISNT A SHOW
audio: “We are happy to welcome you to the Showfall Media family. Please join us for our special keynote on May 3rd of your time. (The next line was whispered) There’s something going on here.”
•Announcement
description: According to the comments , the binary says “LET THE SHOW BEGIN”
audio: “Hello, and welcome to Showfall Media. For years, we’ve provided endless entertainment for families all around this world.”
text: Hello?
audio: “We are more excited than ever to bring our influence to a new frontier with our new live experience. We have spent months developing, researching, and connecting with this new frontier, and we are thrilled with the results.”
text: Where is this signal going?
audio: “With our state of the art, brand new technology, we’re giving you, the viewer at home, control of aspects of our show. Your choices will matter, so be sure to make the right one or the effects could be devastating for our hero. Our hero will meet a cast of crazy characters who you may recognize-
text: (this text is presumably unrelated to the person interfering with the signal) Found them!
audio: -who are sure to keep things entertaining and unexpect-“
text: Is this working? I don’t have much time I don’t know what’s happening I don’t know what you are It already found him It got everyone Everyone but me I have to save them I have to stop this
audio: “We are so excited to be showing you this world for the first time, which is why we’re not limiting it to one show. That would be such a waste of this opportunity. Be sure to join us for this three part viewing experience, starting on May 27th, continuing on to May 26th, and concluding with our big finale on May 28th. You can only find it on-“
•The Hero
description: According to the comments, the binary translates to “Help Him -H”
text: You are ready for the show

Hey! 31 m here living on the east coast. My husband and I just moved here back in June, and we are slowly building up our base of friends here. These things take time, though, and in the meantime, I would love to get to know new folks and establish some online friendships! The goal is to create a friendship with consistent conversation, ideally someone who I could get to know well and text on a regular basis. Specially, I’d love to make some friendships with other guys. While I love my female friends, it is a different dynamic than the one that’s between dudes, and I am missing that bro camaraderie!
Here’s some fun facts about me:

• I work as a high school English teacher. I love the profession so much, and I cannot see myself doing anything else!
  
• My main hobby is video games, but there are too many favorites to name! If it is on the PS or the Switch, chances are that I’ve played it. Maybe we can hop online for a game of Overwatch together!
  
• Other hobbies include photography, reading, writing, assembling furniture, photoshop, playing guitar, and listening to music.
  
• I’m also studying Japanese to try and become fluent. My goal is to one day travel the Japanese countryside, so knowing the language is key.
  

If you’re interested in chatting more, please send me a DM and we can talk. Please only reach out if you are 18+. Also, I am happily married, so nothing NSFW please. Looking forward to hearing from folks!

I don't know if this is the sub for this but I have been trying to find a book I read in highschool. I don't remember much about it save for the following: - I remember it being a tall skinny book with a mostly yellow cover. - The protagonist was a woman who gets recruited by some sort of secret organization. They use some sort of weird firearm, I can't remember what it did but I remember it wasn't just a normal gun. - The protagonist at the end finds out that the antagonist is a clone of herself, they fight on a catwalk above the big light in the Luxor hotel and one of them gets thrown into the light.
I feel like when I think of this book I just imagined it all as I can't find anything even close to right when I try to Google, any help would greatly be appreciated!

LOOK OUT IS YOUR NICEST FELLOW 1R0NH1DE!

White 1r0n A.K.A 1R0NH1DE
Nicknames: h1dey, 1r0nh1de, 1r0n, h1de, white 1r0n
Age: 18
Occupation: thunderstriders
Affiliation: thunderstriders, cloudy, snails, no_pain, his father, his mother, pip, memory, garch.
Hobbies: hang out with Friends, listening to 80's music, jazz, rock, making suits
Backstory: 1r0nh1de was a huge fan of transformers, including the thunderstriders he doesnt have any Friends in the school but he does have one friend named Joe, he always play with his mom but his dad get busy by paying taxes, after his father left to the military War. 1r0nh1de hear the words of "the point of life, You just Gonna keep going, if You live happily, comes much greater good" while he grew up he went going on a vacation to join the thunderstriders
Personality: he is a soft one actually, he is very Kind to his Friends and his newphew and niece pip and memory, he could be soft and arrogant but he gets stubborn by fighting dangerous threats for fight. And wants to protect pip and memory from danger, he always get misunderstood and misrepresent to all things but he can still hold his own to pay attention, After he loses his father in the military War, he gets Motivated to become much more serious. And believe his worth of life by hearing the words of his father "the point of life You just Gonna keep going cause if You live happily, comes much greater good"
Weapons:
Beam katana- his beam katana can absorb and copy special attacks, he can shoot a projectile such as the beam slash. He can also blind some foes too
Darksider: a scythe weapon that can generate lightning, can scan to people's address and Is also a gunscythe too, able to grow his size and a sword in the top of his scythe, including pressing a button to Summon ants, these ants won't kill his Friends, just threats. the ants can explodes Through peopl's body but they can survive by regenaration themselves, they can duplicate themselves, manipulate light to turn invincible
White 1r0n: this suit was created by himself to stop mortar and his army, he can fire up with his grappling hook shooters to swing around to buildings, shoot nets, electric tazers Even a smoke gas
Abilities:
Curse energy: Cursed energy is born from negative emotions such as grief and anger. These negative feelings are common in human society so almost everyone possesses cursed energy. If this amount is higher than a certain degree, it grants the person the ability to see curses, which is very rare among the human race.
Divergent Fist: lands a punch on a target, his cursed energy flows and makes a stronger second impact. Divergent Fist was often used initially,
Black flash: A technique that creates spatial distortion when a user connects with an impact of cursed energy within 0.000001 seconds of a physical hit. The phenomenon causes cursed power to flash black, creating a more potent attack to the power of 2.5 of a normal hit. Currently, he is capable of using Black Flash four times in a row and has performed it a total of nine times.
Feats: he can survive from the the universe, the sun, the mountain, the moon, being throw out by few reverse
Kicks the building which it collapses by being thrown by doomsday
Survive from the nuke explosion and he reveals his Scarlet 1r0n suit can survive a Big bang
Survive from his house being explodes by mortar
Defeats mortar, cosmic Ghost rider, dark 1r0nh1de, knight king.
Strenght: universal+ level (he can scale to mortar who can create the chrono blade, able to destroy the fabric of the universe)
Speed: unknown
Durability: universal+ level

...it arrived today from Amazon. I took myself out to eat and thought about how interesting it was going to be to revisit this book 25 years later. You said it was interesting and because I think you're a smart and reflective guy so maybe it's possible I was just a young, dumb kid back then and couldn't grasp it. I'm here to tell you, as I ate my broccoli and rice while reading chapter one, I remembered I why I hated it the first time around in 1998.

1. It's a very wyte view of America. I didn't connect with their message at all.
2. They kept saying we. My response then, "We are not in the same community. Don't include me in your we."
3. They kept alluding to most people and from mostly conservative sources and provided poorly supported arguments. My response then, "I don't trust your argument and you need a wider view of America. You're missing a lot of awesome things with your narrow viewpoint."

And that's where I got up to page 2! Back then, I threw the book against the wall. I'm gonna hang in there this time though, see what these guys have to say. It'll be interesting to hear the ideas that spawned the fanbase of the Phox News generation, to better understand the America they are taking with them. Sheesh. Bump these guys. This is definitely a library book rental, maybe even an audio book so I can clean toilets while listening. No reason to pay money for this.
Thank you for exposing me to this book again. Not necessarily for what it is but I'm finding it exciting to see how consistent I have been throughout my life. Even better, knowing how much more wise and wicked today than I was then. Meeting you was something else, eye-opening on so many levels. I am so grateful for the chat over the months we had. And yeah, I still miss you.

Hey Guys, Wanted to see what your thoughts are on how I should proceed... Last year, the property management company of my current building sold the property to another company called "X". During this transition, it seems that the previous company inflated the rent amounts for each unit. Unfortunately, this incorrect rent amount was integrated into X's accounting system. Throughout last year, I consistently stated that the agreed rent amount, as per my last signed lease in 2021, was $1624.44, plus an additional $100.00 for parking. There were instances where incorrect amounts were automatically deposited into my account. I had conversations with the previous Superintendent regarding this issue, but it seems that X's accounting department never resolved the matter. Recently, I received an overdue notice from X for approximately $2400.00. This is the accumulation of differences over the 2022 rent payments that I have made, to their amount of my rent in X's system. There are two factors contributing to this overdue amount. The notice and Tenant Ledger from X state that I owe $1712.25, plus $100.00 for parking. Although there has been a rent increase from January to May 2023, the 2.5% increase is based on the incorrect amount mentioned above, which is not specified in any lease agreement between myself and the property company. Despite my attempts to confirm the rent increase amount on multiple occasions, X has not provided any confirmation. They did offer a notice of increase with a calculation equation for each unit, but the lack of communication in confirming the amount has made it difficult for me to pay accordingly. The last paperwork I signed was the 2021 lease agreement, which covers the year 2021. X did try to have me sign a 2023 lease, but I declined due to an unreasonable $200.00 increase caused by their incorrect rent amount in the system. Therefore, I currently have no lease agreement with them for the 2023 period. 2022 there is no renewed lease. I'm not sure if this puts me in a grey zone. I am planning to move into a 2-bedroom unit on July 1st under the same building. The lease agreement for this new unit has already been signed. Fortunately, my new Superintendent/Property Manager has been very kind and honest. He has suggested that we send X a PDF containing a well-constructed letter, email chains documenting conversations with the previous manager, and bank statements showing the rent payments made in 2022. In the letter, I will also ask X to verify the rent price for 2022 based on the 2021 lease agreement. I hope that sending them the PDF will be sufficient to clear up the misunderstanding. The letter aims to explain and clarify the situation, while the email chains highlight the previous manager's confirmation of X's incorrect rent price in their system. Additionally, it addresses a past double deposit and the lack of confirmation regarding the 2.5% increase. To me, this is not so much an issue with the amount of money but what is fair. There actually is a bit of money owed ($500.00 from incorrect amounts of payments + 2.5% LMR increase of 2023), and I clarify this in the letter. But not to the degree of $2400.00. Curious to see what the reddit community thinks about this situation here, and I should do anything in addition to sending this PDF. I'm based in Toronto Ontario!

TL;DR at the bottom
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Story time I thought ya'll might get a laugh out of. Also, any advice on what to keep an eye out for or suggestions on attempting to maintain my monstrosity are welcome.
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So, I bought a house back in last December. Has an inground pool on the property that is 20x50. Now I was always poor growing up never had a pool nor friends that did so mind you I have not a clue about a single thing about them at this point. Now it looked like the liner of this pool had seen better days but serviceable for a year or three until I could deal with that. Now I'm sure some of you are already cringing but don't worry it gets worse.
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Winter had come to an end started getting warmer, so I decided to start looking into this thing, with some heavy "encouragement" from my young kid. So, knowing absolutely nothing I decide to wait and enlist a local professional to evaluate the situation. The pool guy shows up to take a look and quote me, I go out with him and help remove its winter cover, and thus the horror story begins.
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The pool was virtually empty aside from two to three feet in the deep end. Now I bet you'd think it was a leak and I'm being dramatic, oh no no dear reader, for some ungodly reason the previous owner just...drained it (this has since been tested and irrefutable). Didn't say a word about it. It had water in it at one point while I was looking at the home. Should I have kept an eye on it and known sooner? Probably. Was I naive and was like welp just don't touch it until spring? Yeap. Well, you guessed it from and older already kind of rough liner, the bloody thing shrank. This caused a lot of areas being pulled out from the coping and a pretty rough tear at the far skimmer. I am about to find out how expensive pools are.
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So, the pool guy took a look and assessed the damage. Obviously, I am going to need a new liner and to add to the fun he determined the coping was pretty much shot and would also need to be replaced. He said without digging into it he would estimate it was going to cost me 10k to 13k. Spoiler alert not going to happen this year not even close I am far from wealthy, and this was simply not an option. So, I asked him if there is anything at all we could at least try so my daughter would not be absolutely devasted her summer swimming dream was gone. He gives me instructions and shows me how to pull the liner and use liner lock to hold it in place and then advises me to fill the pool until it's about 18inches away from the lowest spot that will need help and we will see if it'll be remotely possible.
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Some areas worked out. Others, others did not. I wouldn't be writing this right now if it had gone well. Now many other minor areas aside there were three major areas that would obviously need something done about. The liner had shrunk too much. No matter how much I tried every time I got a good amount of water in about a 10-to-12-foot length of liner would pull out of the coping even with the liner lock and would sag down to about 16-to-18 inches at its lowest point. The corner where the ladder would go in the shallow end had the same sort of issue but worse. The corners aren't 90 degrees it is a diagonal slant from wall to wall. This spot ended up being about 8-foot total starting on one wall going across the diagonal to the other wall, about 22 inches at its lowest point. Then to top it off, that tear at the skimmer got worse, but was by far the easiest problem to solve.
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As you would expect, and as I feared he came and looked and gave me the news, there is no saving it. Cover it back up until I could afford to have to have it redone. However, growing up how I did I am quite resourceful and find ways to make things work through some creative engineering. So, with the professional taping out, limited on resources I thought to myself, why not try? What's the worst the happens? The same outcome I already have. It's already FUBAR, it isn't like I can make it worse since my current option is just cover it. And who knows maybe it works and I am my kid's hero.
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After some time doing research (if you could call it then more like plotting like a man who has lost their damn mind), a buddy of mine in tow, and plenty of beer, the plan was put into action. We secured the sagging liner to the pool wall the best we could with some sort of waterproof epoxy type thing that could be removed so wouldn't cause any new permanent damage. I had gotten my hands on some new pool liner vinyl that was large enough to cover all the areas we need. Cut out pieces to size and shape, used vinyl cement initially to secure the piece to the original liner all the way up to the coping. Once secured ran another bit of the vinyl cement along the seam, honestly this idea occurred as a why not, shouldn't hurt? Then just for good measure went over the seam once again with a healthy dose of flex paste. After that we secured the new liner pieces into the coping with liner lock. Also, we decided to leave slack in these pieces with the thought of if there is more stretching instead of tearing or pulling it out maybe the slack would allow it to not end badly. This process was repeated over all 3 of the major danger zones. Now there are some jacked up small spots here and there as well but honestly, I could not care less about them until we discovered if Frankenpool had any hope.
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We filled the pool to about 2 inches below the lowest giant red flag to simulate as much water weight as I could to see if the situation would worsen and if we had any hope. Three weeks on monitoring and taking measurements there was no change, a glimmer of hope. As of this weekend we filled the quilt, I mean pool to its intended water line. As we watched...and waited.....and monitored....no changes in the liner worsening......no water loss. I'm not going to lie I'm not sure about my partner in unspeakable crimes against pools, but I was absolutely shocked. I was expecting some sort of catastrophic failure at our unspeakable "repairs".
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Now I am not stupid, I know this isn't going to last. In fact, it probably has no right to have made it this far. If it makes it the year even if it ends up requiring more minor Frankenstein treatment, I will be speechless. But hope remains....and is only growing stronger. Pump and filter are fully functioning. And beginning the cleaning process.
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If you made it this far feel free to call me as dumb as an idea as I had in attempting this. But also, any advice on how to keep this thing going or what potential problems to watch for although it begs to be put out of its misery, please let me know! Or any questions in what exactly we had done or just questioning my sanity.
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TL;DR
Don't know the first thing about pools. Previous owner set me up for worse failure. Went evil scientist to "fix" the unfixable because why not? Now I have Frakenpool that looks like it's from Fallout. But currently it is working so far.

Having used every farm type at least once except for Wilderness, I am curious what farms people gravitate towards, and which ones they shun.
My favorite tends to be the Forest farm. Easy forageables, a very easy source of hardwood, even some decent fishing. This, outside of the original farm maybe, is probably the easiest farm to make use out of. I am also kind of fond of the ocean farm, even if a limited amount of space for sprinklers can be annoying.
The River Farm is just easily my least favorite, unfortunately. It's a hassle getting around on the farm due to all of the water, and it's frankly not really giving you much benefit. River fish can be obtained one or two screens over, so it just feels like you're giving up a lot of available farm space and the benefits of the other farms for very little reward. The ship decoration is at least kind of cool, so there's that, but that does not make up for how bad the farm is.
The farm with the quarry is also unfortunately not that great. It puts the rocks so far out of your way that I'd wager many players forget they are even there. It just isn't that hard to get geodes, stone, etc, in the mines as it is.
Of course, this is all subjective, so I want to know what you all think, what your priorities are in your farm choices.

hi! i’m very curious what this dream symbolizes to y’all.
last night i had a dream involving one headless snake and two snakes with heads. the headless snake was wrapped in a sheet, but it was still very much alive. i don’t remember the full context of the dream, but i remember running past the headless snake. it was slithering very quickly along with me - not really chasing me, just going in the same direction as me. the front half of it was standing up straight and writhing all around while it was slithering. you couldn’t actually see that it was headless because the sheet was covering it, but i was just very aware that it had no head. there was a man running behind me. i knew him in my dream, but he isn’t actually someone i know in real life. he told me that the people we were running to meet had chopped off the snake’s head. i remember saying they shouldn’t have done that because the snake wasn’t even venomous. then at some point, we stumbled upon 2 more snakes that i think were rattlesnakes. we were all going in the same direction.
none of the snakes were trying to hurt us, and i don’t remember feeling scared of any of them. i just remember wanting to help fix the headless one. i have no idea where we running or who we were meeting or why. i really just remember this part about the snakes.

I'm kinda surprised Sheetz doesn't offer "pup cups" like Dairy Queen or Starbucks. I don't know about your location, but we get a lot of people traveling with their dogs and I'm betting something like that would be a big money maker. After all it's usually just whipped cream so it wouldn't cost more to add it as a secret menu item. I've had people ask for their whipped cream in a PC cup but we don't have an extra whip option to purchase.

I just want to add trigger warnings: abuse, sleeping pill use, possible reactive abuse?, self harm/suicide ideation
Hello everyone! I am just really struggling with determining if I was the narcissist in a previous relationship that’s weighing heavy on me. I would like to state that before this relationship, I was in an all over abusive relationship (That was actually my 1st serious relationship, happened in high school) that was very traumatic. Within and after that relationship, that ex was telling me that no one would love me or love me like he does, would physically hurt me as he would tell me that ‘he is not hurting me, I am hurting myself’, blame me for everything in the relationship, his mom would make excuses for him even as she heard him hurting me.. It was a LOT. And I guess that was also why I was so susceptible to my next relationship which is the one I am inquiring about.
So, that relationship lasted 3 years.. I went to therapy.. A year and maybe a half later, I met another guy (which is the one I am more confused on and questioning myself the most..) My 1st bf was known as not a good guy so it was easier for me to come to terms with that it was not me? But this one… Everyone LOVES him… We met through a friend of mine at a theme park.. I guess for a good month he was trying to get my number from her (she was a good friend of mine at the time, she was dating one of his good friends, they knew each other. She took us to where he was). I got a text from him saying “Hey beautiful, can you guess who this is?” and it all started from there..
He had previously gotten out of a 4 year relationship, 2 months before we met (Stupid me; HOWEVER, i did not know how short of a time span it truly was until I went through his phone and laptop), but he made it seem like she was just cheating on him and not doing right by him majorly, he was over it, and it was done. I didn’t know his part until the 4th year when I went through his laptop and saw that he would call her names, he would be trying to be sexual with her friend which is the same girl who told him that he couldn’t cheat on me with anyone besides her and he agreed (Same girl that would be mentioned in a bit), and so on.
We ended up going to the same college, and hanging out a lot; However, even from month one he was trying to get with me and saying that he “had” to be with me because I was sweet, beautiful, xyz but he didn’t have time for that at the moment due to him just getting out of the relationship (which I was ok with tbh. But when mentioning that I don’t think I wanted to date he would be like why?… (As well as I think this is what got me too because he was not prioritizing a relationship so it did not seem like he would be using me). He would call me while he was at work a lot, and he even showed up to my house once randomly because I was trying to avoid hanging out with him and me and my friend had to lie and say I wasn’t there. He would explain a lot of how we would make sense together in a sense and why I should not be opposed to dating him..
Within the 4th month, he confessed that he loved me and hoped that I felt the same… In my gut I felt that it did not feel right… But everyone was saying that he liked me, everyone loved him, and he seemed like a good guy and totally opposite of my 1st ex… So I thought, maybe this is love and maybe I do love him… One night I stupidly explained what I been through before meeting him (my previous relationship and friendships) and how I just did not want to go through that again… He said he would never put me through anything like that, will treat me how I deserve like the princess I am, and how laid back he was (but I did not think laid back would mean flirting with other women in front of me or in general, etc which he would mention at a later time when bringing things up to him “Well I told you I was laid back”).. By this time I was lowkey babe, his princess, etc… His friends telling me that he really liked me, and I made him happy… That he talked about me a lot.. I thought maybe this was it…
Around month 8, he asked me out… Immediately a shift began… Right after he asked me out he stated “You’re lucky because there was someone else I was supposed to date”… I instantly knew that something was wrong… But at the same time… A thought that ran through my head was my 1st ex telling me how no one would ever love me like him and other things… and tbh I think I just went with it and accepted fate Ig. I got in his car and we drove off… But now that I even look back, he would question me sexually compared to other women.. call himself the “booty king”.. and talk about how he was sad that he lost his old phone containing photos of all the girls’ pics he had while we were talking… so.. Yeah… Ig that wasn’t even the 1st shift.. I guess I was just used to that type of treatment now that I think about it..
To add more information before getting to the main portion, before so much occurred, I did not mind him hanging out even alone with girls.. He made me feel safe and I trusted him and even told him that. To the point where he told me that he was going to Disney with the girl mentioned above and that she liked him, but I need to not worry because he wasn’t going to do anything and liked me and other stuff. This was after he told me he thinks we shouldn’t be talking to other people (so this occurred a little before he asked me out). However, during this time, if he saw me with a guy he seemed to get jealous. For example, I was saving the table, and the janitor who looked like a guy my age came over, we nodded, and he just kept working. He came back as the janitor moved and asked me if he was flirting with me and thought that I was lying about him not flirting with me. Another time, I went to the movie theatre with my friend and he brought it up a few times and was asking about it and claiming it was a date. However, he would keep stating that he was not the jealous type and his friends would too..
But anyways after we started dating, he immediately started ignoring me as I was talking and would always be on his phone. One such event was when we were headed somewhere with his friends… Once they got out of the car, and I began talking to him, he immediately got on his phone and was kind of ignoring me but giving ‘mhms’, ‘ohs’, and other sounds like that.. Eventually I went quiet.. When his girl friend 1st got back into the car, he immediately put his phone down and started conversating with her… I was hurt.. which led to him doing some actions and admitting that he did them because I was sad and wouldn’t tell him why and shrugged. He would be on his phone looking at girls.. Even when my parents were going through a divorce, and I was venting to him over skype.. He was just ignoring me.. and I could see through his glasses that he was just browsing on tumblr which already made me more sad and alone, then I saw him staring at and sharing a picture of a girl showing her butt, and I got upset and he got upset with me for being upset.. On our one year anniversary even, I was talking to him, and he was ignoring me.. But I caught him looking at a picture with girls showing their butts and just became quiet and upset.. He’d already called me insecure and such by that point..
Another incident which I’m sure sounds stupid and may just be really stupid.. Was 2 months after we dated.. I told him all that I wanted for my birthday was to take him to HHN for his first time.. He said he didn’t have any plans to go with anyone else and pinky promised me.. I would say maybe a couple of weeks later he told me he was going with one of his girl friends that worked there on that night, and I immediately called him.. He invited me to go, but I couldn’t because I was busy, and I asked if he could wait, and he brought up that he couldn’t just say no because he already told her yes. I brought up the pinky promises, and stupidly begged him if he could just wait.. He said he couldn’t and he had to go.. Later he posted on snapchat about how much fun he was having and how cool and crazy it was.. Later told me he just went with her because she could get him in for free.. which I would have paid if needed, but I didn’t know.. He would manipulate me into letting him do whatever because his ex did (For example, going to stay on the beach with his girl best friend, her mom, and her sister, but by this point he already kind of made it clear that he did not care about me, so I was uncomfortable with it, but he kept pushing until I said yes and would guilt trip me for being unsure).
During this 1st year, he already called me a whore for having guy friends, crazy, insecure because of above things etc. One incident we went to the club with one of his guy friends, I didn’t know the plan was to find girls for him (his guy friend) to get.. So while I was trying to dance and interact with them, I noticed he was just looking around and pointing out girls and kind of didn’t acknowledge me a lot of the night.. Which did make me sad.. I became standoffish, and that led to an argument and him hitting the steering wheel yelling at me and asking what the fuck is my problem with girls.. Which I remained silent after trying to explain.. Another incident is when at some point in the first couple of months I told him I would have sex with him.. We ended up at a resort because I have timeshares.. However, I got extremely sick to the point I couldn’t breathe and was worried. I did say I would have to pass on sex at the moment because I really could not breathe and didn’t feel well. He was more upset that I didn’t give him sex and said how I lied.. Which I really didn’t mean to.. and I did feel really bad about.
He would say how he didn’t care about how I felt about something, would go do that said thing, and then would come back and apologize after talking to one of his girl friends about it, and how she made him realize it wasn’t cool. He would be really mean and say mean things.. he would start denying his actions and words so I started keeping screenshots to make sure that what I had remembered was accurate.. Adults would tell me that I better take good care of him while this was happening and he would look at me and smile and do like a jerking movement with his head like "yeah you better" if that makes sense..
I noticed after a while, I couldn’t control my emotions… I started becoming more and more emotionally reactive. I became increasingly jealous and trying everything to get him to care.. I also begin to try to find ways to get him to understand how he was hurting me and kept thinking of ways to get him to stop.. When I would react he told me that he showed his friends or told them what I did and their reactions and comments.. He told them I was crazy.. After a while I asked him to stop talking about our relationship to his friends because I noticed he wouldn’t tell them why I was reacting the way I was which also leads me to question if it was me.. I began trying to try to control situations so I wouldn’t get any more hurt. I started becoming passive aggressive and started saying mean things.. I threw my toothbrush at the bathroom door once.. I started taking sleeping pills because I got anxiety when he would text me that he was going out. I started taking the pills as well because I couldn’t heal and move on from the things that had happened as fast as he would’ve liked.. I would try to leave but he would say what I wanted to hear of course.. But if I tried to talk to him about the things, he would hardly say anything or just be like “you’re right, I’m trash”, change the subject, or tell me he would break up with me if I brought it up again.. Eventually he would tell me how I needed help and kiss me on the forehead.. At one point, I asked him if we break up, would he consider trying to work on things in the future after we both do growing, and he responded by shaking his head and telling me only if I had changed… I always made him not want to do things or not want to go to things.. He was more cool than me and had more friends than me he would say or imply at times and even brought it up because I got more likes on my insta posts.. One day I would be wifey and he would be so in love with me and not want any other girls.. and the next day I should understand if he wanted to breakup so he can go be with other girls.. His family said in front of me that he could just go get another girlfriend.. and he would shrug his shoulders and repeat that to me..
Major heartbreak events would happen after I helped him in someway, and he would feel a type of way that I wouldn’t want to help him or do things.. Like I helped get him jobs, get back in school, be on time for work, took care of him when he almost died (which led to a major event I will talk about in a few) he would tell me or show me that he didn’t care about me and I couldn’t count on him to be there for me either.. Like when I tried to tell him that I am becoming more severely depressed due to stuff, he was just like “I care less and less” because I brought up depression due to different things.. Which I know.. Stupid for staying.. However.. He would be “hurt” that I didn’t believe that he loved and cared for me.. That the trust I had was diminishing.. He would ask me why I thought he was lying to me and tell me that there were and are no other girls.. Everything led up to the 4th year..
After being with him in the hospital after he could’ve died.. I was with him and making sure he was ok afterwards.. Something was going to happen with a girl I didn’t feel comfortable with him being alone with and he told me.. surprise.. that he didn’t care and had to go.. Told me she said I was pretty.. I asked him if I could go through his phone a couple of days later, I guess I just needed that final push.. I found so much, from him talking to other women about our relationship but being more concerned about how we were having less and less sex, him cheating and flirting, him texting his friend about how he thought him and his ex were getting back together, etc. And I just lost it.. I woke him up shaking him asking why me.. just why… and before I knew it I slapped him.. It was like slow motion, I tried to stop myself but I couldn’t.. I immediately felt guilt.. and that was the first time I ever hit someone.. I know it’s not ok.. but that started an altercation and he dug his nails into me and so on.. I went to the bathroom bleeding.. and the next day.. He asked what happened to me and the marks.. I told him I just had a depressive episode.. and he told me that I shouldn’t hurt myself like that.. Like he didn’t remember anything.. It was like me and him switched places.. He began being afraid to communicate with me.. and to this day.. It’s been almost 3 years.. I feel extremely guilty and re-enact that night but begging myself to stop.. to just leave.. I still feel angry at myself.. His close friends were like “he really tried.. he really loved you.. ah I don’t think he’s like that”.. and sometimes it makes me doubt my experience..
At the end of the relationship is something I can’t forget.. He smirked and told me that he knew he’d be ok.. and that he already moved on and accepted everything.. and that has been something hard on me too.. I removed him from a lot but stupidly texted him a month or so later apologizing..
After the relationship when I would hear or see him or his name, I would have little panic attacks.. everything would go blurry and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.. Therapy isn’t helping.. I feel like I can’t move on and sometimes I idealize or day dream about suicide heavily..
I keep trying to stop myself from looking at his postings about loyalty.. being faithful.. giving everything to the girl who is always down for him.. not lying.. how his friends post how amazing he is and his quotes about cheating and such.. but it’s like a bad addiction I just can’t seem to break.. I keep asking myself was it me.. and if I’m just the narcissist.. He did take the blame and apologize near the end of the relationship and then once I reached out and apologized for my actions after the relationship.. But I still am so confused..
I feel consumed by rage.. envy.. Jealousy.. I see him being blessed with everything and thanking God and Jesus which diminished my faith.. If it wasn’t me, then how come he is getting so many blessings and get to be so happy.. I keep saying how it’s not fair.. I feel guilt.. I feel shame.. I don’t trust myself.. I can’t tell who I truly am after lashing out.. I feel like I want to give up.. Like it’s never going to end.. I keep seeing things about narcissistic abuse, and then I get scared because what if it was me….. Then I feel guilty for not wanting to watch any more things on narcissism or abuse for a while.. I keep praying, begging for it all to go away.. I have resorted to tarot and spells.. Faking it til I make it.. Nothing.. and then I get frustrated.. I keep reliving and trying to play things out differently if that makes sense.. I feel so alone, and I self-isolate so much.. It’s almost 3 years.. I am just confused.. and I am sorry for this being so long and possibly confusing and all over the place..

TL;DR! My ex- gf downloaded and deleted bumble during at specifically screenshotted to me during argument as per her word to make me jealous.
A week ago, my ex-gf got angry at me and downloaded bumble and opened it and screenshotted both the app and her previous chat she left on there before (she never fully deleted it) and has sent it to me. When she was still angry she threatened to find someone else and downloaded bumble. She later on apologized and said she did it to make me jealous because she was angry. As a result of her action, I accused her of trying to cheat on me. She kept denying that is was cheating since she hasn’t talked to any of the guys on there and swiped. I kept accusing her of being a cheater. I have already told her let’s end it here, since we also do argue ALOT about minor things. She also easily gets angry over minor things.
The following few days after the incident she kept begging me back and saying how much she loves and misses me and that she wouldn’t actually cheat on me. She consistently tried to apologize but this time I actually refused to forgive her. She would also spam call even after I decline it right away (maybe I should’ve just blocked her). She keeps texting me and also told me she bought ice wine for me, which I ignored. Than on the very last day she tried to spam call me and told me there was something important, I finally replied what is it, and she just says she misses and loves me. Than proceeds to keep trying to call me, I got really annoyed and told her to “f$&@ off”. Keep in mind before she would always verbally abuse me everytime she gets angry like saying “f$&@ you” “your stupid” “your useless”, and most of the time I will eventually forgive her and stay with her because there was still love and emotional connection. This time I told her it was the second time she downloaded bumble and I cannot forgive her, and all she did say was “I know you won’t actually leave me” when I already clearly told her I already ended it with her. But when I finally told her to “f off” she finally said “ok if you don’t want me goodbye for good”. Deep down inside me I still feel guilt for not forgiving her and telling her to “f off”. Few days later she did message me asking if she should send some tools she borrowed from me back, I just ignored and didn’t respond. Right now I don’t know how to get rid of guilt, because I still remember the good moments of her and times where she actually helps me with things as well, like one time she helped me actually get a new job and has guided me on how to invest in stocks and has bought me many presents as well, I have bought her a fair share of presents too as well too. But she also will get angry and make the fight worse when I bring things up she either doesn’t agree with or is controversial to her. Right now I’m torn in between love, hate, and grudge. But at the end of the day, I feel betrayed by her latest action.

So, we were at a family party today and a guy that I’ve never seen before kept looking at me and kind of following me. I was feeling uncomfortable. I mostly stayed either with my mother in law and husband the whole time except when I had to get our kids for one reason or another. I asked my mother in law who was he and I explained the situation. I didn’t say anything to my husband until we got in the car and left. Now he is mad at me and saying it’s my fault that creepy guy was watching me and sometimes even going were I was. I was trying to avoid him at all cost. At one point when I was at the table he tried talking to me and very quickly I called my mother in law and had her talk to him instead after that interaction my husband came an sat next to me. I thought and hoped he’d noticed what was happening. He asked why didn’t I say anything while at the party. I didn’t want to make a scene or make things uncomfortable. Now he says I only told him because I thought he’d notice. I hoped he did. I feel offended because this was not my fault at all. I didn’t do anything to cause this to happen to me. I told him this because I like telling him the things that happened to me. I just thought the party was not the place to say it. I’m I wrong for not saying anything while at the party and waiting until we left?