Dont look up common sense media

I grew up as one of the very few asians in my school and never really had asian friends until college. I went to korean church but just really had nothing in common with the koreans who lived in korean communities and always found them to sort of be copy and paste of each other. Once I got to college, I somehow got into the mix with the asian frats/ rave communities and found a similar trend with the people in those groups too. I know a lot of them struggle with or dont even attempt to make friends outside of their race and they all tend to share the same hobbies/ interests that is currently trending in the asian communities whether its a new game, music or clothes. Not saying it’s particularly a bad thing just find it interesting that everyone is on the same page and you really have nothing in common if you dont like it. For example, I hate league but so many ppl in asian bubbles grew up playing it so its hard to relate on that. Music wise, at least in my circle, if you dont like edm then you’re definitely in the minority. a lot of the people in these frat/party groups only talk about festivals and what events they have coming up. They really dont have any hobbies or interests outside of the rave, game and school. They are also very cliquey meaning that they are only willing to be friends if you are already in the circle either thru mutuals, church or frat.
Does anyone else who didnt grow up in an “asian bubble” notice this?

For most people sexual awakening happens when they hit puberty, when the body starts changing and hormones starts to rage within one's body. I, on the other hand was not given the chance or the choice for such. I decided to write down my story in the hopes that by doing so, I will be rid of the ghost that have haunted me for far too long. And maybe, just maybe, somehow, someone will come across this and it could give them the hope that it does gets better or maybe I just learned to enjoy it after, I still couldn't tell. A little disclaimer though, before we dive right into the messy sludge that is my past. I am doing this not to shame, not to vilify or glorify anything or anyone. I am just writhing it as I saw and experience it, hoping that it could help me move pass it.
Let me start with the basics, you all can call me Glen, which is my original name given to me by my biological mother. though I don't answer to that name, since I was given a different one by the woman whom I consider my true mother, the one who raised me and showered me with unconditional loved, the woman whom I owe everything that I am right now. So right, my name is Glen, I grew up in a small fishing town near the western most edge of Batangas, in the tropically hot and always humid islands of The Philippines. I am now in my mid 30's, living in the Metropolitan center of our country. I have a great job working for a multinational company catering for the largest company the world had seen so far. But that's the fact most people who knew me knows about me. I consider myself a free spirit by nature though I would almost always choose to be alone inside my room rather than to mingle with my fellow humans. It gets tiring at time, with all the dramas and bullshit grrrr. I love cats and any sorts of greenery. I am a book worm and a self-confess screen addict.
The first encounter.
As I was saying, I was never given the chance to maybe have a say about my sexual awakening, I remember, I was around 10 years old at that time, I was not aware of the "urges" yet when my first sexual encounter happened. It was a weekend, around mid-afternoon when a neighbor about four or five years older than I have asked me to go out and play. Since it was just a typical afternoon, and back then children don't have the gadgets that a kid now a days have to pass time. Back then play time was a physical game where in one must run, crawl, sweat and at time cry. There was no Xbox then, no cellphones or tablet and computers was just being introduced. Kids back then were just kids, sweat drench, smelly little rascals. I don't usually do those stuff, for at an early age I fell in love with books and arts, so most of my free time was mostly spent reading or drawing or what not. Going back, one weekend, the neighbor's kid asked me if I wanted to play. Not having anything better to do I joined him, we walk towards the beach. Which is practically on our back yard where my father has his fishing boats dry docked for repairs or what not. On that day one of my father's big boats was dry docked awaiting repairs of some sort, the neighbor's kid went up the boat, so I went after him. While walking along the planks, he started telling me that he will be teaching me a new game or something. So I just went after him not having any care whatsoever. This particular boat that we were in was the biggest boat my father owns, it was in fact the biggest in our town at that time, he went in down the hull space and I, not really as tall nor as agile as he was took a bit of time to follow him through the twists and turns of the engine room towards the hold of the boat. When I get to him, he was standing in the far corner of the hold, near a bench that used to hold fish crates and other gears. I can still remember the old fishy smell there. It's not like the smell of rotting fish, more like the smell of the beach and of wood and the faint scent of diesel coming from the engine of the boat. He was standing there wearing a white tank top and a yellow short that has black paneling on each side. he was facing the far wall of the hold. I was confused at that time, I was thinking, what sort of game will it be, and why do we need to be there to play it. He then looks at me and wave me to come closer, I thought he was going to point out something that was in the wall that he was so eagerly looking at before I enter the hold but when I got near him, he faces me with a kind of half smirk and half smile. I on the other hand was still waiting for him to let me in on the game that he was talking about. Then he sat on the bench and ask me to sit by him so I did, I was thinking "Ah, what kind of game will it be? I don't see any board game nor any toys anywhere" But I sat next to him nonetheless still oblivious of the things that will happen next. After sitting for a few minutes, he told me " Let's play a make-believe game, I will be the man and you will be the woman, okay? and I was thinking, what the hell is this game? This is one weird game. But I did not say it out loud. I was still thinking about "the game" when he asked me to stand Infront of him, he was older and way taller than I was back then so when I stood in front of him, we were almost the same height, albeit he was sitting. I was maybe 3 feet away from him at this point, standing in front of him. Then he took booth my hands and yank me towards him. He placed my hands on his shoulders and then he hugged my mid-section close to him while he was slowly laying down pulling me on top of him. I was so confused about what he was doing, and I did not know what to do or how to react. he was looking at me straight in the eye then he smiled and said, "Let's pretend we were husband and wife." I was taken aback, and I started to pull myself up and off him, but he tightens his grip on my waist, and I could barely move, I was holding my head up away from his face by pushing hard on the bench at the side of his head. He then wraps one of his arms around my shoulder and pull me close to him then he started kissing my lips. I was in a panic by then, I was trying to break free from him and trying to keep my lips firmly close. Then his face had a sudden change and he spoke, "If you don't play with me now, I will tell everyone that you kissed me, I will tell your mom too." When I heard that my head spun, and I can feel the fear of humiliation creeps in my nerves, and I started sweating cold sweats. I don't want him to tell people that, I don't want him to tell my mother I did that because she will be mad, and I will get into a lot of trouble. While this is all running inside my young mind, he started kissing me again his lips and togue are trying to pry open my lips. I started to feel fear by then, I fear for the things he might say if I don't let him do what he wants to do and fear about what he will do to me if I let him to. He then tried to kiss my neck, but I pull away from him again, he looked at me with a menacing glare and said, "Do you really want me to tell them what you did?" I felt so hopeless by then and I still remember the cold sweat and the drumming of my heart. I was thinking of shouting, of calling out for someone but I realize no one will hear me since we are deep inside the hold. He then tried to kiss me again on the mouth and this time he was able to slip his togue inside my lips, I was shocked. By then I have seen kissing scene on movies, but I didn't know they were literally licking the inside of the other person's mouth, I was appalled. I moved my face away from him and wouldn't let his lips near mine. Then he told me, "I will just tell on you then and acted like he was going to push me off him, then held me back again and said, "Do you want me to?" I shook my head and just look at him, he smiled and then pull me close again and tried to kiss me again, this time I just gave in, I can't imagine what would people say if I let him tell them I kissed him. So, I just close my eyes and let him do what he wanted to do. I can feel his lips rubbing against mine, his warm breath and his tongue sliding in and out of my mouth, he kissed me for a long time. He kissed my neck, my ears then my lips again, he sometimes e would nip at my lower lip then when I open my eyes, he will smile at me. We were like that for a very long time. Then suddenly he stops, pushed me off him then he stands next to the bench. He told me to lay down on the bench, when I didn't move, he push me until I was down, he then grabs my shorts and tried to pull them off me. Another wave of fear and confusion hits me like a ton of bricks, I started to sweat again while I hold on to the elastic waist band of my shorts, he then said, "I will tell on you" and stared daggers at me. He pries my hands off my shorts and pull them off me. I don't know what was happening by then I was so confused as to why he wanted my short off. After, he got my shorts off I was looking at him when he started to lower down his own shorts. I saw his penis it was big. way bigger than mine back then, it was stiff, and I can see the outline of veins and the tuff of black hairs, and I was like, what is it this time, what will he do now? He took off his shorts and then he started playing with himself while looking straight to me. He was smirking that god awful smirk again. While I was there butt naked on the bench. He then lay on top of me, I can feel his hard penis against my Tigh, he was humping me by then while kissing me again. I on the other hand still can't fully comprehend what is happening, what did he do to me? He was doing that for a while then he props himself up with one elbow and spat on his other hand then I felt his wet hands slid under my balls in between my thighs, he weted that area then spat on his hand again and I felt he was wetting himself. Then he shoves his penis in between my thighs. he looks down at me and smiled and ask, " Does that feel good?" "Do you like that?" In my young mind I couldn't understand what he meant, I don't know how such an act can "feel good" and how can someone "like it". He then started humping me again. While he was humping me, he was kissing, biting and shoving his tongue inside my mouth. Faster and faster, he goes then suddenly he stops, his whole body got rigid, and I heard him moan like someone in pain. Then his penis pulsates, then I felt something warm and wet was dripping in between my thighs. Then he collapsed on top of me. I can still recall the weight of him on top of me, his labored breathing, the faint smell of talcum powder on his neck and that awful smelling hair gel on his hair. Then he propped himself back up and looked at me again. He was smiling, his face was flushed and there are sweat beads on his forehead. He smirked again then smiled and kissed me on the lips, one long kiss then he stood up. He took off his tank top and wipe his still wet penis then he wiped the inside of my thighs. Then he gave me my shorts back and he slips on his shorts too. After that he started walking back up from the hold and I followed. We both jump off from the side of the boat, by then it's already late afternoon and people are walking along the beach again, trying to cool off from the afternoon heat. He then started walking towards the water and dove right in. I, on the other hand sat on the sand. Still thinking about the things that just happened. There I was, frightened that someone will know what we did. I was thinking what trouble it will be if my mother finds out that I kissed or at least let a boy kissed me. Then there is these other feelings that I can't understand. I was still stuck on that thought when I heard a voice calling my name. It was one of the house helpers that my mother employs, she was calling me because my mother just arrived from a day's work in the fish market of our town and was looking for me.
To Be Continued.

Tl;dr - me and my friend (F31) want to go out just us 2 friday night but we are the social organizers of the group and nights where we just want a chill night between us two we always get texts about going out or people joining us and we always cave in out of guilt.
Me (M27) and my friend (F31 call her Tay) are the social ones of the group and we like going out during the weekends. Her and I are very close friends and we are the ones that like inviting others to go out with the group. Every few months her and I like to try and do a solo hangout just us becsuse being the ones always inviting people csn get exhausting snd sometimes we just want small night just us 2 hanging out at a bar wing-maning each other even. It has been hard to do in the past few months becsuse once the weekend hits everyone starts texting us about plans and joining us. We love our friends but sometimes its a bit too much. We are two people who feel guilty saying no. Im a little better at it than Tay but still need improvements. The reason i feel a little guilty is because i know what its like to want to go out and everyone you text is rejecting you. Tay tends to feel really guilty and in the past has changed plans for other people. alot of times tay and i are having a blast and then get calls to hangout and we feel guilty and leave just to have a worse night. We have talked about how annoying it sometimes is being the 2 people everyone looks for to make plans and we feel guilty going out and telling someone who also wants to go out they cant join. Dont get me wrong, its a good problem to have as growing up i had little friends so i know what its like.
A few examples: One time tay and I were bored on a friday night and decided to hit up a karaoke bar. It was a last second decision and We decided to not tell anyone. We were there for an hour and it was really fun and Tay wanted to show me some other bars. Then we each got calls from multiple friends wanting to hangout. We told them where we were but they didnt want to go to that part of town. Tay and I looked at each other and we could tell neither of us wanted to leave but we both felt guilty going out and not telling anyone so we left and joined them. The rest of the night sucked because we got to the first bar in that sidenof town and it was a little fun but only lasted 20 minutes as people wanted tk try out another bar. That part of town was packed so it became an argument from the rest of the group about what spot to hit up next and whether it was worth the line. Basicslly for the next 2 hours we only went in to 1 shitty bar.
Another example was a night Tay and I just wanted to grab dinner at a new greek place and hangout at patio bar. When i get to tays house she asks if id like to join our friend (M29 call him John) at the bar with a group of his friends. I introduced john to tay and i always felt like he has a hige crush on her because every weekend he will text her to try and go out or invite her to parties or weekend trips. I told tay if she really wanted to go that id go but id prefer the original plan. She told me she didnt want to go but was hoping i wanted to go because she already accepted. I got mad and asked why would she accept if she doesnt want to go. Her answer was that she told him we had plans but he kept pressing and she felt bad saying no. I decided to just go and the night also sucked. We met up with them at a bar in a crowded part of town. It was john and 3 of his guy friends. We had the greek plans for 7 so i hadnt eaten a meal since 1. The whole group(6 of us) decide to hit up a restuarant but it had a 1 hour wait. We didnt end up eating till 10 pm. We spent an hour at the restaurant and after we left, tay wanted to leave but felt guilty leaving so i just told the group i was tired and going to leave and tay left with me. In the car ride home i asked tay if she knew it was a guys night she got invited to. She said no and felt really awkward once she wss there and wondered why john would even think shed want to go out with just guys.
Tay and i want to try the karaoke bar again this weekend but we dont want anyone texting us about going out. We feel like its going to happen and fear we will cave in. We made plans to hangout near my apartment friday and go out that night. Tay might see john before then and im worried hes going to convince her to change plans or she will feel guilty and change it.
Whats the best way to respond to a text from someone looking to go out?

I would love to hear what your journey with climbing and motherhood has been. Honestly, I’d just love to read the variety of experiences.
I’m not looking for help, nor do I want to take up a ton of space, but here’s mine.
My daughter is about to be a year old. I mainly do moderate, long multipitch on gear. I get into the alpine as well. I’ve been climbing for nearly a decade - had lots of highs and lows. Been in a serious accident. Rebuilt my shoulder a year later. Got pregnant a year after that.
I climbed, outdoors, on lead throughout my pregnancy cuz I felt cozy and it kept my mental health from completely collapsing.
My journey back to climbing PP was long, hard, and riddled with setbacks. Once I hit about 9 months PP I felt stronger than ever physically - mentally I was a hot mess. I went out to red rock to climb a very easy route and just cried the whole time. Bailed on the last pitch. I had been getting no sleep, I was sick for 8 straight weeks along with my daughter. I was just exhausted. Despite this I still had fun, which was a new feeling for m usually I’d have some sense of disappointment, but I still questioned if I should be climbing. I love it. I want it. But I just kept wondering if all the effort I was barely scrapping up to pour into it was worth it.
Then, I climbed the hardest route I’ve ever climbed this spring. I didn’t lead, but I didn’t care. It was an old-school sandbag. It felt great, jamming my way up a tower. Tower summits are so damn amazing. It was a style of climbing I don’t excel at (enough offwidth bd chimney to grovel and swear lol). I was SO beat up it took me about a month to not have insane back pain. I ended up in PT. But damn did that feel amazing!
A month later I led a desert tower that was at grade for me. It took sooo much longer than I thought. I loved working through the moves, but I realized that my head space has changed…a lot. I was comfortably uncomfortable. Again, I was so in love with the beauty and the challenge, but my mind was asking if the mental load was worth it.
I’ve been out a few times since. And I realized that for me, it’s worth it. I just love how nothing else matters on the wall. I don’t care what I’m climbing or how I’m climbing it - objectives have fallen by the wayside cuz who cares? I climb for me.
I don’t move as efficiently as I used to. I take a lot. I get nervous a lot. My head game isn’t the same and it’ll likely be a while before i have that spark. I don’t have the kind of time I used to have. So if I want to go do something bigger, I kinda just have to go for it and meet myself where I’m at.
And I’m starting to really fall in love with that space. Where before it would be something to overcome or work through. Now it’s just enjoyment.
It’s really cool to appreciate something in a whole new way.
It’s just different for now, but it’s still a lot of fun. I’m not upset or yearning - although it would be nice to get outdoors a bit more often. I’m actually proud. And stoked.

My university's engineering car club (think Solar Car) has been looking to transition away from Fusion 360 to either NX or Creo. Which do you guys think is better? These are some of our priorities-
-Ease of collaboration; our team is small, so we don't want to spend a ton of time setting up repositories/servers. Our school provides basic licenses for both, but probably not any additional cloud packages
-Learning curve; our school uses Fusion 360 in class, so everyone is pretty familiar with it. Which software is most similar to Fusion?
-Marketable skills; which looks better on a resume / in an interview? Which is used more widely in industry right now?
Thanks guys

The above title is a question posed in Watchtower literature and happens to be one of their top arguments questioning the doctrine of the trinity. They compare God and the Word in John 1:1 to individual human beings, which is off base to begin with. God was not human in the beginning and His nature was and still is beyond anything we can describe, yet John wrote what he wrote. God had not become flesh John 1:14 when John wrote in "the beginning was the Word...". He didn't question the inspiration that directed him to write "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1 He didn't say, "hmmm that just doesn't make sense to my intellect, I better fix this idea for God". He didn't, but Charles Russell of the Watchtower and a few others have. It didn't make sense to their great human intellect so they had to come up with something that did make sense to them. How arrogant. . So, in their great wisdom, they turned God into "a god" Literally "another god" who existed in the very beginning before anything was made. What a conundrum they created for themselves, just because they couldn't accept that they couldn't fully understand God's nature. So they went ahead and made two true Gods in the beginning of time...the very definition of Polytheism
What does the Almighty God say about us understanding His ways? I can hear God's voice like thunder declaring to Charles Russell---
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,So are My ways higher than your ways,And My thoughts than your thoughts Isaiah 55:8-9
Russell ignored this important fact about the God he tried to fit in his nice tidy little box
Among other human inspired reasonings, the Watchtower reasons that the Word cannot be God because the Word is with God. Although this would be true as far as human beings are concerned, is this also true about God though? What does the Bible say about God?
We know God is love...1 John 4:8 but can any human being be love? We can love and we can be loved, but can we actually ...be love? No, we can't. Only God can love, be loved and be love. I wonder if the Watchtower can figure that one out using human wisdom and logic? They apply human logic to their describing the Logos...the Word and have determined, using their logic, what the Word can and cannot be. So, according to the Watchtower, the Word cannot be God because the Word is with God? Do they believe God is light? 1 John 1:5 says "God is light..." John 1: 9 says "The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world." Who was coming into the world? The true light.. and who is the true light? God.
The Word was God and the Word was with God, but how? We don't know how, but we do believe God's Word just like we do believe, yet cannot understand how God can be light 1 John 1:5 yet the light dwells with God Daniel 2:22 The light was with God and the light was God

Looking to put a dartboard stand in my office but I don't have a good idea of how much floor space the tripod takes up. What tripod do you have and how far away is the distance from board to wall (if you set the legs flush to the wall)?

Thanks in advance for reading. Tldr: I want to achieve balance in med school. How can I stay a top student and enjoy my life at the same time?? So, I'm a first year student. I'm currently going through my exams, and I'm finishing on 17/07/23. I can say that it was absolutely a tough year for me. I'm almost drained by being in med school. I would be lying if I said it was a completely horrible experience. The bright side is that I got to know my weak points as a student and my bad habits. So, I got the summer vacation to improve them.
In my experience, I've seen 2 extreme types of med students and some others in between:

1. Book worms: Those guys who have nothing in their lives but studying and I think this super unhealthy. With all due respect and admiration to those mates, I have to say that it definitely sucks to have nothing in your life going well but studying. Most of them are fat as hell, no social skills, no hobbies, nothing. They even look like zombies.
2. The partying type: Those guys do nothing but having fun all the time and they barely pass.
3. The averages.
4. I don't know what to call these guys but they have something outside of the school that they really focus on. Not partying and this stuff. For them the school is secondary and all they need is to pass. For example, we got some guys who do bodybuilding competitions.

I don't want to be any of these types. I want to find balance between medicine and my personal life. I want to go to the gym, read books, be with family, go out, work, learn skills and still be a top student. Is it possible? How can I do it? Any tips? Should I give up on any thing to achieve this??

Thank you for the previous poster which mentioned they saw an Apple charge on their card and to be alert for unauthorized charges on your CC. After reading that I changed my alerts on my CC so that I would be advised about every transaction that goes through. Soon after, I immediately noticed a $9.69 charge for Kindle Unlimited. The fact that it was in US dollars made it even more obvious.
So is that the tactic now? Small amounts using common services that scammers hope will go undetected so they can milk a CC for a while? Or maybe this confirms the card is valid and that the owner doesn't pay attention so they can sell the card on the black market? I don't know.
Then as luck would have it, I saw yet another charge for a DoorDash Doorpass, which was legitimate in the sense that it appeared as a charge in my account on their Website. However, I had not asked to subscribe to Doorpass. To their credit, they removed the charge right away. They had no answer as to why I suddenly was charged for a service I did not request. So I completely cancelled the account
Be careful of who you entrust with your credit card info. So it's a good thing that my card was cancelled due to the other fraud. Going forward I am going to be very, very careful about giving out my credit information. If a website does not allow me to use PayPal, I will not save my card on their website.
Most CC now allow you to lock them. One bank had the following info blurb which I found interesting. So basically this would let me keep using the card, the way I normally do but would prevent the type of fraud that I just experienced
A locked card blocks:

In-person transactions Online transactions that require manual entry of card information Cash advances Adding the card to Apple Pay or Google Pay 

What keeps working?

Previously scheduled recurring payments Payments with Apple Pay, Google Pay and third-party payment processors (for example: PayPal) that use previously registered card information 

Hi everyone!
I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago. The more I had been reading into it, the more things "clicked", so I went to get evaluated by a psychiatrist. He had prescribed me Medikinet CR 10 mg (Ritalin in the US), and basically as soon as I gpt on it a bunch of things had changed: drugs and sugar cravings disappeared completely (before I would stuff myself with sugar everyday, started getting into drugs later to numb my chronic depression). My depression had gotten milder. Focus improved. Hyperfixations disappeared (that's one unfortunate effect).
After some time, I've decided to switch my psychiatrist to one that was more experienced with ADHD. Meanwhile I got another heavy depression bout (have lived with constant mild depression with more severe bouts since I was around 15 yo so no suprise here). I complained to the new doctor that I had uncomfortable daily ups and downs from Medikinet CR and she prescribed me Concerta 18 mg. Now the ups and downs were much smoother.
Additionally, about those mood swings - from day 1 of starting MPH, I got mild euphoria rushes from the drug. I didn't really do much research back then, and thought it was just a side effect. So after the euphoria rush, there was the normal "calm" feeling, and after that a significant drop in mood.
Things have changed since then, though. Even after starting Concerta, I still had my persistent depression (with co-existent anxiety), and switched depression medication basically every 3 months, because nothing seemed to work. I even took out a loan to get TMS treatment, which seemed to cure depression for like 2 months or something. So that was one thing.
The other was drug cravings. After the "miraculous" period after starting MPH when I did not feel any, after some time (like 2 months) they returned, even while taking meds. And here we are now, after 2 years of treatment with MPH I constantly get the need to take too much IR MPH to cause euphoria (though I don't even get much of it, just more talkative and motivated). I'm afraid I'm addicted to it. Even though I don't take it on weekends, just on working days, and do not feel the need to take it on weekends.
I would really like to tell that to my doctor, so she could help find a more suitable drug or dosing, but she has written in her bio that she does not treat patients addicted to drugs. So I'm scared she will just refuse to treat me any further. She's a very dedicated doctor and actually cares and constantly looks for newer options for my depression treatment (even though I had tried like 3/4 drugs available on the market).
I tried adjusting the dose on my own, tried not taking Concerta at all, gave all my supply of IR MPH to my boyfriend, so it would not be easily available for me when I get a craving. Since nothing worked, and whenever I quit Concerta completely, after few days I was unable to work at all, heavy depression, lack of focus, basically a bad crash. So I subtly suggested to my psychiatrist going on another ADHD med - that was atomoxetine.
I was really hopeful it will mitigate everything bothering me - persistant depression, anhedonia, drug cravings, other ADHD things etc. I started taking the lowest dose possible alongside Concerta, but it turned out to be hell - I got severe mood swings, bouts of aggression, insomnia, anxiety. Had to quit it after 2 weeks because I felt I was going insane.
I am starting to believe I'm beyond help, to be honest. I was thinking an ADHD diagnosis would finally lead me to become stable, even happy, to find pleasure like normal humans.
However, there are some days when I'm stable. On those days Concerta does not give me mood swings, just calmness and focus, and I do not crave any drugs, can actually function like a normal human being, and generally feel content with life. I wish there was more of them, but I have no idea how to do it...
Maybe I don't have ADHD, even though I have all the symptoms. But MPH gives me mild euphoria, and I keep reading it shouldnt, it should make you sleepy/calm when you have ADHD. And it seems to be working less and less. I don't know what to think. I'm worried all the time again. I wish I had some peace finally. My theory is that I'm still dopamine-deficient, and that's where the drug (and sugar) cravings come from.
I'm not seeking any medical advice, I just wanted someone to listen and maybe find their own experience in mine. So thank you for reading up until now, I hope you have a nice day.

I saw this post here today: https://www.reddit.com/murakami/comments/142rm2i/murakami_loves_music_and_i_love_his_taste_can_we/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
And I was also looking for something similar myself some time ago. I know there are plenty of Spotify playlists and there is that official Haruki Murakami website that lists the artists, but I was looking for something really specific.
I would like to know every mention not only of every song and artist, but also a casual reference to an artist, also every author and book, movie and anything else pop culture, organized by book and specific page.
I don't think that exists, or maybe I haven't found it yet, so I was wondering would some kind of app where you put the name of the book and it lists all of these things be helpful?
I was planning to create an open source project on github, setup a lightweight app for easy searching up by book name and let others include references too because I have not read all his books yet.
Thoughts?

For privacy reasons I will not disclose my name, gender or any other personal information other than the fact I'll be 17 next month.
I'm trying to get closure for something terrible I did when I was 11, I won't try to justify it but I will give reasons why it seemed reasonable at the time. I loved my whole life being homeschooled and with undiagnosed autism, this was my first year going to Public school and I remembered something I saw on an animal documentary, I wasn't sure how 'it' worked so I YouTubed how animals did it, I was scared that if I looked up how humans did I'd get in trouble and for some reason like it was worse than the animals . After awhile after I got my answers I made it a bad habit to look at that kind of stuff. In the sith grade I was basically seen as a pervert ( which was understandable since what I was doing was God awful) but still every day once I got home I'd get the I pad and search up the stuff after I got caught and thankfully grounded I don't recall ever doing it again and I soon enough stopped all together and haven't looked up that stuff since. Am I still bad even if I haven't done it since I was 11? And if so what ways can I attone for my actions? Am I a zoophile for what I thought was appealing back then? Genuinely looking for advice.

There's a common falsehood in this article Using cash like a millionaire may not make sense for most investors. Here’s why:

However, for the average investor, “it’d be silly to wait in cash” instead of investing in a higher-return investment like stocks if a household doesn’t need that money for at least five years, Jenkin said.
Yet, the CNBC millionaire survey suggests wealthy millennials shifted into cash more readily than older investors. That’s despite their relatively long investment time horizon and capacity to take more financial risk.

This isn't necessarily bad advice, but it is illogical. Younger investors don't have the capacity to take more financial risk; that's just an illusion. In a tax-deferred account, for any given amount invested, you can order the annual (or monthly or whatever) percentage returns in any order and the final amount won't change. So an x% loss at age 25 hurts just as much as an x% loss at age 50 for any original amount invested. You only get the illusion of capacity to take more risk because you keep contributing from your wages, so that an x% loss at a younger age hurts less in dollars.
Logically, then, if stocks are too risky at age 50 then they should be too risky at age 25 as well. Or if they're not too risky at age 25 then they shouldn't be too risky at age 50 either. This also means it's illogical to switch from stocks to bonds (or bond-heavy) as you near retirement, even if that works out for the best. Because this common strategy depends on luck you can be bitten when, shortly before you were going to switch to bonds, the stock market takes a dump.
This isn't to say you shouldn't be 100% in stocks. (I'll take my downvotes from those can't see that and like echo chambers.) It's to say that you should understand the risk you're taking, so that if you get bitten you aren't too surprised. Try to know the extent to which your strategy depends on luck.

I'm considering opening up a business running private bookings of Blood on the Clocktower games. If you haven't heard of it, Blood on the Clocktower is a social deduction game for 8-15 players, similar to Werewolf (a.k.a. Mafia). Main differences include no player elimination, so even characters who die stay involved until the end. Plus it has a dedicated storyteller whose job is to administer the game and maintain a balance between good and evil. The result is a fantastic game where every player, every deduction, and every argument matters up until the all decisive final day.
While the game is fantastic, it is extremely hard for a single person to host. You need to assemble 8-15 people and have practically a full house worth of space for players to engage in town meetings and group off into private discussions. You also need to administer a mechanically complicated game while juggling all your other responsibilities as a host. All that, and you don't even get to play a role.
My idea is to provide the space, and the professional Storytelling (GMing) skills, so that all you need to do is enjoy the experience with your friends.
I have the resources to make this happen, but I'm still in the air about whether or not there's enough of a demand. I wanted to fish around Bellingham to check on people's thoughts. Are there any big social deduction fans who would like to see this sort of service? Rates would be comparable to escape rooms. Games last around 2 hours.
If I do end up starting this business, I'll be running a few free sessions to work out the kinks and get early feedback. Leave a message if you'd be interested in being a guinea pig.
To see what a Blood on the Clocktower game looks like, check out this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m14N28Lq-jM

I did this last night and my players loved it. I had a little fortune teller that was setting up shop. She waved over the players and asked if they could watch her stall while she ran back to collect her cards. Very quickly she returned and thanked them and offered a free fortune. I printed 4 fortunes that are relevant for the upcoming quest. I made them using Canva and the ticket templates. They kind of look like fortune cookies.
They were going to the feywild so I had:

• Don't trust the lies of songbirds
• The blue bell path leads to the captive song
• don't share a meal where you would not share a name
• Beware the Generous Miser.

The 2 players then got to pull a fortune each. They got the Don't trust the Lies of Songbirds and The Blue Bell path. They are constantly looking for what these could mean. I was quite literal with these 2. The path with blue bells is a short cut. And in another area if they follow the songbirds they will be led into a trap.
To make the fortunes I identified several risks ahead of them and made cryptic advice or hints. You can also do something for them to find a special treasure, numbers to win a lottery, the code for a puzzle wall they will encounter.

Hey!
I'm 27, and I've started to read manga again recently. I never really stopped, but I've certainly started to read in a larger quantity again. The problem is that a lot of what I read is NSFW. I'd really appreciate some SFW recommendations so I could read them during breaks at work. I mainly read BL, josei, and seinen, and I'm hoping for some josei and shojo suggestions. I like romance, comedy, sports, and supernatural. Any demographic works though.
I just don't want to read something that doesn't really appeal to me at all anymore. Don't get me wrong I love shojo, and I find super cliché series very nostalgic. However, I'm hoping for something a bit more mature. That doesn't necessarily mean older characters, but I at least want the manga to feel like it appeals to a general audience and potentially makes you think.
I'm hoping for completed and not too long since personally I tend to drop series that are still ongoing. Over the years (some from well over a decade ago), some of my favorite shojo/josei series were Absolute Boyfriend, Red River, Basara, W Juliet, Fushigi Yuugi Genbu Kaiden, Maid Sama, Dengeki Daisy, Crimson Hero, Skip Beat (though I ended up dropping it), Black Bird, Princess Jellyfish, and Paradise Kiss.
I know it's not shojo/josei, but I recently read Magus of the Library. I think it matches up with what I'm looking for fairly well.

I've recently given up on online dating as one of my primary ways to date as it is a waste of time and money for 90% of men. I want to start approaching women outside of online dating at places like the park, coffee shops, shopping, gym, etc... but I have never been good at picking up signs from women that say they are interested. Either that or a very small amount of women have ever been interested in me in public lol. I don't really want to bother people too much so I'd rather look for potential signs before walking up. Any tips to look out for?

I was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia in december 2015. The illness was very advanced by then, and needless to say, was a very horrible year for me, health wise. At some point, my spleen got so enlarged it had an infarction, which I didn't know at the time. Yes it's as painful as it sounds, and I don't know how on Earth I survived that without medical assistance.
Back then I used to do volounteer work for an event in my town each year. That year, the said event took place about 2 months after the splenic infarction. I still had bouts of stabbing pain when I stood up for some time. I was not well throughout the event, and definitely out of it due to pain, confusion, and general weakness. Several people asked if I was feeling alright, and told me I was super pale too.
My then boss noticed it. Later that year, ironically a week after I was out of the hospital, she confronted me about it. She said things like I looked "absent" and "in a trance" or "in an altered state". Basically she was low-key accusing me of using drugs on my shift. I explained the situation to her and this was her response...
Her, with a disgusted face for some reason: ...Leukemia? What's that??
Me: Blood cancer.
Her: oh ok... So what?
Needless to say I left right then and there and never volounteered again. I was shocked and fuming.
A couple weeks later, she sends me a picture on messenger of a used medication packaging I must have inadvertantly forgotten to throw away at some point. No context, no "hello", just that picture out of the blue.
Me: ??
Her: Well you left that at last week.
Me: Sorry I forgot to throw it in a bin, I didn't mean to litter.
Her: What's that?
Me: ...my medication?
Her: Well found it and researched it.
Me: ... Ok?
Her: Well it turns out this is supposedly leukemia medication.
Me: ...yes?
Her: Well, why do you have those pills?
Me: ... Because it's my medication?
Her: Why would you NEED that kind of stuff?
Me: ...because I have leukemia just like I told you when you were accusing me of doing drugs and making stuff up the other day, you twat. What do you think I would be carrying 40k$ pills around for?
She never replied back. Or even talked to be after that. Good riddance. I hate her now.
Edit: small details fixed

My doctor has pointed out to me a couple of times that most of my issues with sleep apnea come when I sleep on my back. I've told him twice now that I do not and never sleep on my back and his response both times has been "well you don't know what you're doing when you're asleep"
While that's obviously true, common sense tells me that if I'm falling asleep on my side and waking up on my side with the pillow and sheets situated as they were, I'm not changing positions.
So anyways, I told him that while I can't remember specifically, I'm pretty sure the only reason I slept on my back during the sleep study is because the sleep tech asked me to try. The reason I can't remember is probably a combination of being half asleep and under the influence of Ambien.
Seems he would know if trying to get data from sleeping on your back is part of a sleep study and he acts like it isn't something the techs are instructed to do.
Anyone remember whether or not you were told to try sleeping on your back at some point during your sleep study?

Been thinking of this, but at times I found my friends other friends social medias without looking. They’ve been pushed to me by the social media platforms I am currently on for a little over a year. I wasn’t particularly looking for them, but they just showed up & I followed one without knowing the friend was following the same person. Is that weird or creepy that I followed the person, even if the two of us haven’t talked & that I hurt them around the same time a year ago?