Loathsome memories of the dying farming

I love her to death. I know some people hate her but I can only sympathize with the poor girl. That type of isolation and cold upbringing would fuck anyone up and just cause she has elisabet sobeck's genes doesn't mean she is going to break through it.
I know Aloy came to really understand what made them different but she still had me a lil heated by the way she was talking to Beta (I still understood where Aloy was coming from, she's been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders).
And seeing how Beta is and the trauma she went through, just makes me even more mad at Tilda. She could have been a positive influence but she decided to groom instead 🤢. (Also, how fucking young was Beta when that shit started?! This may be a case for Chris Hansen).
And I must say, the fact that Beta found it within herself to escape the Zeniths in the manner that she did......... that was some Elisabet Sobeck brilannce right there and I commend her greatly for it. I would I have been so scared and terrified to do anything.
I also find her pessimism to be hilarious (and lowkey same, I am always expecting the worst outcomes). That "can't you see?! We're all going to die!!!!" Attitude cracked me up cause she would just jump to the worst conclusions every time. And Aloy's reactions made it even funnier.
P.S.
FUCK TED FARO.

16m here, me and my mom have been visiting my 73 year old grandma (my dad's mom) on and off for the past couple of months, who is suffering from dementia and type 2 diabetes.
She is in a care home for the elderly, (not specifically for dementia, a lot of other patients actually don't have it) which is a great place. She is well taken care of for the most part, she is a friendly and peaceful environment, and her daughter (my dad's sister) and some other people sporadically will check up on her, make sure she's clean and fresh clothes, fed, etc etc.
She was hospitalized about a month ago because her body was refusing insulin, there's nothing the doctors can do about that and complications due to that have a high likelyhood of taking her before the alzheimers does. My mom and I, other than her daughter and the people who are hired, are some of the only people who actually check up on her. Which is one of the reasons why I feel so terrible about not actually wanting to see her. But the last few times my mom and I have been invited to go see her, I've refused. I just hate seeing her the way she is. Not even 5 years ago she was totally normal and cognitive, she still has her days where she's mostly "able", she can hold a conversation, make pretty good sense of things, recognize faces, crack jokes all pretty much like she used to. But last time we went and visited her she didn't want to get out of bed. She didn't seem angry like most cases I see with dementia, she just seemed really depressed or upset. It really broke my heart to see her like that. I asked her what was wrong but she didn't seem to recognize me. She just let my mom change her clothes and we set her to dinner.
I'm not sure why, but I get a deep pit in my stomach just thinking about visiting her anymore. I don't think I can see her anymore without welling up, it was hard for me not to cry even while I was seeing her in a good mood. Something just always seemed off about everything, which is exactly the case. She isn't exactly who she used to be anymore due to this illness and I don't know what to do about it anymore. Again, I feel horrible not wanting to go. Ideally I want to see her and have a good time like I used to when I was a little kid. She would bake cookies and make hot chocolate when it was cold out, cook big breakfastes, we would watch the Hallmark channel even though I never liked it, I just enjoyed seeing her happy in her rocking chair. Up in her house on the mountains. Unfortunately that isn't reality anymore.
The house was sold about 4 years ago for way under market value by her kids, she's in a care home now, she can't cook anymore, she isn't who I remember my grandma to be anymore. She isn't who I was always excited to go see on the weekends anymore. She's changed now. And I really can't stand that. I miss how I remember her, although I know that version of her only lives in my head now.
This is someone who I've admired for most of my life. My parents are not really great people, she was the only person who would actually show me love and affection, give me attention, regularly cook for me, and she just had a charm about her which was unique and unmatched by anyone else I've ever seen in my life. Now she's different. I just can't get over it.
I want to go visit her before she dies, I want to see her, hear her voice again, just a few more times, but at the same time, it seems like she's already dead to me. She is not the person who I remember. And it feels so selfish saying that but she's almost like a stranger to me now. And when she forgets me, it devastates me inside.
So I don't know what to. I know I should go see her, but it badly hurts me to. It hurts in a way I really can't describe. I miss my grandma. Any thoughts on this? Any help? Thank you if you've read this far.
TL;DR: My alzheimers grandma has an affliction with her diabetes which may end up taking her life quicker than the alzheimers, I have opportunities to go visit her at her elderly care home once every week which I have been doing on and off regularly for the past few months, but I've been declining seeing her for the past couple of weeks because it gets me too emotional. I miss how I remember my grandma being before she got alzheimers, and I can't seem to get over the fact that she really has it and she isn't who she used to be anymore. I don't know whether I should just suck it up and go see her while I still can, or if all the times I've seen her already within these past months was enough and she'll rest easy. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry if this wasn't completely coherent, I teared up multiple times just writing this and I don't want to cry more by proofreading. God bless.

I, 21f, have been dating a guy (39) I met through mutual friends for about six months. Obviously being older, he has a more rich romantic history than I do which is tough at times. However, it's a relationship with 1 ex that has me troubled in particular. They dated for at least three years, breaking up in 2021. During that time, they traveled the world together, met each other's families, and posted tons of cute lovey pictures which are still on facebook and instagram today. They reconciled a few times in 2022. You don't have to scroll long to find them kissing on my bf's page, and I actually thought he had a girlfriend still when we first met due to this. They send each other memes frequently, and recently, she sent him a cute travel picture of them to which he responded "those were the best of times." He doesn't usually let me see what they talk about, but I saw that message and had to ask. They unfollowed each other on instagram, but he followed her back recently. He gets very annoyed and defensive when I express any concerns and says he doesn't want to talk about it. All he will tell me is that he broke up with her because he felt they were better as friends and that he has no romantic interest in anyone but me. I hate to be untrustworthy and insecure, but I can't help it. I want to be respectful of their history and bond together, but it hurts looking at his insta and seeing him call her all the same pet names he calls me. They traveled the world together and have so many memories. She is closer to his age. I am worried he broke up with her too soon and I am a rebound that he loves but not in the same way. I am trying to not let my immaturity get in the way of a good thing, but I have no experience with this. What can I do to get past this? Is there reason for concern here, or am I paranoid? TLDR; I am having discomfort with the relationship my bf shares with ex, and this bothers him. Looking for a solution that works for both of us

At age 12, my aunt (40) would let me fondle her butt. This happened on numerous occasions for the following 3 years. I was confused. After the first time, I apologized and asked if we could keep this private. She said nothing in return. Smiled and walked away. Now she’d also leave compliments towards me and my interest in older women. She never once made it clear that my behavior bothered her. In fact her compliments supported my behavior. Thankfully I had better judgment and pulled away. But the memory of her still haunts me and I see her very often to this day

I am 30F and grew up in an extremely dysfunctional household, in my opinion.
My mother grew up in extreme poverty and endured a lot of abuse and neglect, had 5 siblings and 3 of them were intellectually disabled. She had a fifth grade education and stopped going after that because she hated it and wasn’t bathed for school and didn’t have proper clothing. My dad and her got together when she was 19 and had my sister at 20 on accident. My dad came from an abusive family and was very abusive and mean himself. They married and divorced and then when my sister was 10 accidentally had me. My mom became very mentally ill when I was a baby and my dad got custody. She has schizoaffective disorder and was in and out of hospitals throughout my childhood.
I grew up with my dad and when I was four my stepmom and her two daughters moved in. My stepmom I perceived to be mean and had bad morals. She cussed a lot, smoked a lot, yelled a lot, threatened a lot. She always tried to be young and fun and attractive to the point where it was embarrassing. My dad was also abusive and neglectful. Whenever I talked back to my stepmom I was physically abused so I just began keeping to myself.
Anyways, I just went to a birthday party For my nephew, my stepsister’s son who is turning 8. My two stepsisters both had two kids each, one has kids with two different men she is no longer with, and the other has two kids with the same man she is no longer with. They have been going through custody issues for years. My stepsister was telling me about how her and her ex have both called protective services on each other multiple times and how right before the party they had a big fight in front of the kids when they were exchanging the kids and the cops were almost called. She only gets to see them for 24 hours a month all summer. She and her boyfriend always disappear when they come over with the kids, which I’ve only seen them twice in several years, they disappear and go get high smoking weed. My other stepsister talked about how that was how it was when they all went on vacation together, she was watching the kids while her sister and sisters boyfriend kept sneaking off to get high. And she said their fathers home is a trailer with no AC and cockroaches. It’s just kind of rough knowing that my stepsister is dealing with all of these issues.
What really made me sick is how, during the party, my stepmom was kind of cruelly disciplining her grandson in a way that brought back memories of just how mean and nasty she can be, and it made me feel sick. My stepmom was screaming as my nephew was sobbing really hard saying, “I’m not even doing anything! You’re mean!” And she was shouting at him saying he better stop that, he’s too old to act like this, saying how she will kick his @$$, just all kinds of stuff, made it doesn’t sound as bad as it felt, but she was screaming at him threatening him, saying he was growling at her, which I didn’t hear, and it reminded me how she used to talk to us constantly. My sister wasn’t there, and my stepmom really lets out her mean side when my older sister isn’t around. My stomach felt very tense and I felt a bit angry, like a non realistic part of me wanted to yell at her to stop abusing her grandson and treat people with respect, and to also tell my nephew that yeah, she is mean. I see my one stepsister taking after her, by yelling forcefully and cursing at her children, like she thinks that’s they way it should be, children should be intimidated by and fear their parent. Also the party started at 7:30 and there were kids from 3-10 there, the 3 year old was so tired and I left at 10.
I don’t know, it was just triggering listening to my stepmom scream at my nephew and treat him horribly and everyone at the party ignore it and acted like it was normal because “he had an attitude.” My stepmom is a sick person but I’m the only one with the courage to say that.
I just feel icky and sad about my family, seeing everyone age and how they turned out. Makes me wanna get away for good and save myself further.

Been playing the game for 2 weeks now, usually doing the wildcard contract with a duo in Discord. Racked up 40 hours, and I am bloodline level 78. Just now I played a 7 kill 4 bounty game and got my 5th max level hunter for the achievement.
Now I'm in the main lobby looking at the traits, and I'm trying to budget all the perk points and stuff. If a hunter gets 49 points and has 15 slots, each trait/perk would have to average 3.26 points, but it honestly feels like that I very rarely would actually use any 1-3 point perk. Not to mention that you still need to set points aside to buy back health.
I'm not saying the 3 point perks are bad, many of them I would use, Bulwark, Kiteskin, Dauntless has saved me a few times, and I always run Magpie and can get away with not bringing stamina shots.
But when all the really game-changing perks like Necromancer, Bloodless, levering/fanning, doctor, frontiersman, quartermaster, etc are way above the 3-point average it seems impossible to fully load up hunters with 15 good/useable traits unless you just farm bosses and meatheads over and over.
Do more experienced players just not bother trying to get all 15 perks and just get what they can from the perk points and get the others when they come across them in game? Or do people have specific combinations of perks they like running that get them up to the full 15?
Also wondering if there are any that are overrated or any that are "must run" perks, like necromancer in solos.
Sorry if the question sounds dumb or convoluted and thanks for the patience.
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Hello! I didnt know where to ask or to even start so Im kinda venting, but I think im scared on what happens when I die. Im young but I know its inevitable whether its tmrw or in 80 years, but it kinda keeps me awake. And I never really was afraid until I got older when im almost graduating college.
I just never even really thought about what happens or how painful or just even if its all just black and nothingness. I was raised Christian, not a religious Christian by any means but just enough that I wanna believe in heaven. I do find a sense of comfort knowing that i’ll go to heaven (even though its probably not true due to countless near death people saying its just a black void or like a nap without any dreams). But also not knowing if heaven is real or not and realizing its probably a black endless void rly started to freak me out when I get older. Especially realize it’ll happen to ppl I care about including my cat.
I dont really know what to think and it makes me scared of the future and what I’ll be when im shriveled and old. I guess wut im trying to say is, advice y’all could give me on how to feel less stressed about the thought of death?

I have been playing "The Island: Castaway: The Lost World" for the past couple of weeks. Today out of curiosity I looked up how many chapters total there are (I'm partway through chapter six) and discovered to my dismay that, out of a planned eighteen chapters, only eleven were completed, and the game was released as-is with a "to be continued" 'ending' five years ago; devs have no plans to wrap things up.
I'm a bit sad, not to mention mad, about this, because the game does one thing quite well that I've been enjoying: frequent need to venture into the wilderness to harvest wild plants, which entails both being able to recognize various plants and being able to recall whereabouts each type of plant regenerates after being harvested.
(There are also farming, fishing, hunting, crafting, non-food resource acquisition, etc. aspects to the game, as well as a plotty storyline, all of which I don't mind, but aren't the things that make this game stand out for me. I do appreciate the exploration aspect of games in this genre, but I am primarily looking for gathering mechanics.)
I would prefer for time-limited tasks (e.g. you have six minutes to gather four different fruits and an herb) to be at a minimum, in games recommended on this post.
I'm looking for games on either Android or PC (especially if available on Steam), preferably Android as I have a tablet and am going to be spending a lot of time in medical waiting rooms in the coming months.
Thanks in advance for any and all recs!

Hey Delhiites,
I'm back in Delhi after an absence of 8 long years. So much has changed, and I'm eager to reconnect with the city that holds so many memories for me.
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I am currently in search of a suitable place for live-in accommodation in Delhi. Specifically, I am looking for a location that provides convenient access to amenities such as gyms, swimming pools, and, most importantly, prioritizes safety and security.
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(If you have any tips or advice regarding what factors to consider when looking for live-in accommodation in Delhi, please share them as well.)

Since we're officially in the manic period of hiatus, I thought I'd make a theory of my own, because why the hell not, right? This is actually something I'd clocked a couple weeks back, but didn't think to post it before.
This is a theory, but I like to think it's a decent one.
To cut through the bullshit, this theory is rooted in a single character: Zeus.
Zeus is, as we know, a Homie. Homies are created when the user of the Soul-Soul fruit puts a piece of a human soul into an object, animal, or plant. The effect of this is to bring that infused thing to life and grant it sentience.
However, Zeus is not a normal Homie. He's actually very special. Zeus, like Promethus, Napoleon, and Hera, is made from a piece of Big Mom's soul.
You may wonder why this matters. Simply Put: When a person dies, both in our world, and in One Piece, the soul departs the body to parts unknown and barring the use of Brook's devil fruit, it cannot be brought back.
There is no reason to think that the effects of Big Mom's devil fruit would persist after her death. And further, it would be especially odd for a Homie brought to life by a piece of HER soul would persist, WITH THAT SOUL inside of it, would retain or keep that soul when the rest of it departed to the sweet hereafter.
Zeus, however, is very much alive. He's not rolling at full power, due to Big Mom repossessing a chunk of her soul from him, but he's alive.
Being that he has a piece of Big Mom's soul, and the soul, the whole thing, departs the material world after death, it is logical to infer that Big Mom is still alive. If she were to die, her soul would leave the living world and Zeus would cease to be anything more than a concentration of water vapor.
And that's my theory. Tell me what you think. Probably full of holes and stupid as hell, but I had fun writing it so I don't really care.

Age: 21
Height: 6ft
Male
Supplements: B12 and Vitamin D
I have not felt well at all for the last 6 or so years. At first I thought it was because I was obese, but after fixing that the issue remained, and seemed to get worse. Mainly I deal with fatigue and memory issues, concentration and focus. I’ve had a lot of testing done to determine what exactly is wrong but unfortunately I haven’t found anything.
I can’t say exactly when it started but sometime in the last few years my eye has started… twitching? It’s usually, heck, maybe even always my left eye. I don’t wanna say it’s my eyelid twitching because it feels more like my eye is looking in random directions very rapidly. I suppose it could be both. I’m talking fast, so rapidly that I basically lose vision in the affected eye for about half a second or so. Is this a normal phenomenon? It doesn’t happen very often but it’s not particularly rare either.

Introduction
The short story you are about to read was created/inspired/based on a variety of sources related to or about Aniara. Aniara rock opera (Seventh Wonder) - The Great Escape, the Aniara wikipedia page, the Aniara film, poem etc. So if you read something and it sounds familiar, it's probably because it comes from or is based on, one of those sources. I have also tried to incorporate some of the thoughts and ideas expressed here on aniara, so some of you may see that reflected. I have not read everything that has to do with the Aniara universe, but I have found many of the resources listed on aniara very helpful in creating this short story. Thank you for those. I have also included a couple alternate endings.
Also, this story belongs to everyone, so everyone should feel free to to fill in the blanks, add to, subtract, or change any part of the story, in anyway they see fit.
I dedicate this short story to all the fans of Aniara, this story is for you and of course the late Harry Martinson.
Like many people who watched the film 'Aniara', I was mesmerized/traumatized by it. It really had a profound effect on me. So much so that I decided to write this fan fiction short story. I am not a writer. The short story that you are about to read is my (very) amateurish tribute to the film. I apologize in advance for all of the grammaspelling and other errors. Despite the (many) flaws of this short work, I hope that you can see what I was attempting to do. Anyway without further or do, I present to you:
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The Lost Voices of Aniara: A Space Saga
WE CROWN THE SKIES WITH OUR TIARA, THE LIFE AND FATE OF ANIARA
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Note: The following represents the most complete (so far) chronicle of events that happened onboard the Aniara.
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Year 18 - Song of Melancholy - My name is Benjamin Jenkins, but everyone calls me "Benny", I am proud to announce that I am the new "Captain" of the mighty space "cruise ship" Aniara. Of course, my title could just as easily be the Admiral of Mars or the Conquer of the Universe, or some other ridiculous sounding grandiose title. Sometimes you must laugh in the face of despair otherwise you will go insane. It's all just for fun of course. I was given the title "Captain" by the crew because I was able to restore the communications transmitter. At least I think I was able to retore it? The lights show green for transmitting, so yeah I bet it works, and besides, all of this is being recorded for posterity and it will be placed in a time/memorial capsule. After that the capsule will be sent in the (general) direction of Mars/Home, where hopefully someone finds it. I'm also the Senior Maintenance Tech in charge of repairing/prolonging various ship systems, etc. There are now only a few remaining livable areas of the ship so it's not as much work as one might imagine. And to think 18 years ago, I was just an ordinary passenger, how far through the ranks I've come! As the "Captain" I will now recount the entire history of the Aniara, the various events, the everyday happenings, from the awe inspiring and amazing, to the boring and mundane, great triumphs and crushing defeats, all the feelings of happiness and joy that come with new life and all of the sorrows and despair that come from (too) many deaths and (too) many hardships. All of our great accomplishments, setbacks and everything in between will be laid bare before the entire universe to witness. Our love, our hate, our dreams, our wants and desires, disappointments, anger and fear but above all our HOPE. Our precious HOPE, the only thing we have left, which has kept us alive for so long. Our HOPE that this message will be received, that someone, somewhere will know our story and our struggle, our HOPE that Mars will be successfully terraformed into the paradise that we all know it can be and our HOPE that Earth will be restored to the paradise that it once was. It's all here, it's all being recorded for the future. I will start our saga from the very beginning of our trip all those years ago...
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Hour 1 - Routine Voyage - Well, this is it! Soon I and many others will make a new home on Mars... of course if we hadn't ruined the first one...
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Week 3 - Without a Map/A Slight Detour - Today the Captain made an announcement that there would be a slight detour in our trip. In order to avoid a collision with space debris, (which would have destroyed the ship) we had to veer off course. Some of the debris hit the nuclear reactor (a very rare event), which forced the crew to eject all of the ship's fuel. The Captain told everyone that we will be able to resume our trip to Mars once the ship passes a celestial body, which should (probably) happen in about two years. Everyone is (understandably) disgruntled by this unfortunate news. As for me I have no one waiting for me on Mars so it's not as bad.
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Year 2 - Wait and See - After several long months of trying out all of the various amusements and other distractions, I was starting to get bored, so I spoke with one of the senior crew members and asked if I could volunteer to do something, anything. Also a job would help keep my mind off our current situation.
Today, my request to work was approved and now I'm part of the crew. My job is to do general maintenance tasks around the ship. I also help take care of the algae, which are used to supply the ship with oxygen and food. It's not a very challenging task, in fact I find it very tedious, but the algae are crucial for the ship's survival, so it gives me a sense of purpose and on top of that I also earn extra points.
Eventually, because of my (part time) job in maintenance, I would come to know every nook and cranny of the Aniara. On one particular day I noticed a slight problem (Electrostatic Diffusion Impaction or EDI) with the ship's air filtration mechanism. I was quick to inform my supervisor about the issue and together we fixed it immediately. If I hadn't spotted the problem, it could have gotten much worse and that would have been catastrophic for the crew and passengers. Afterwards my supervisor bought me a shot of (rationed) Dutch brandy. Other than that, nothing of note has really happened. Everyone is basically in a holding pattern.
One last thing. I've heard a disturbing rumor that there is no celestial body for us to turn around at... If this is true then, that would mean... But for now all we can do now is wait and see...
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Year 3 - The Yurg/The Passing of Mima - A memorial was set up to honor the end of Mima. So much joy had she given us. On the wall among the thousands of drawings, pictures, and sad goodbye letters was a poem that went like this:
We sit and stare at all the marvels that she brings us.
Mima lead the way.
Shine your light!
Be the beacon of hope at night.
Perfect grace in the barren house of space.
Shine your light!
Blind us when reality bites.
We so need the magic she does.
Many rumors are going around about what happened to Mima. People say that the Mimarobe (MR) was the one that ended up causing Mima to die. As for me, personally, I don't believe it. The Mimarobe just didn't seem like the type. A few times after I got off from work, when I walked to the end of the long line of people waiting to see Mima, the Mimarobe would come out and say "Ok, everyone that's it that's enough for today, you have to leave now, sorry." My own personal opinion is that she was just trying to give Mima a break, so even though I was of course disappointed, I completely understood. Sometimes we all just need a break. Sometimes things just get to you and you start to feel overwhelmed. I understood the feeling. Mima was like us in that way. Anyway, Rightly or wrongly the Mimarobe was locked up in the ships brig, her and another woman, I think she was one of the pilots, Isabella\, I think was her name but I might be wrong. Oh well, our lives must go on, much sadder of course, but that's life, I guess. ****Isagel, the pilots name was Isagel, her and the Mimarobe would later become a couple.
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Year 4 - The Cults - Strange things have started happening. Various cults have sprung up all over the ship with bizarre and strange names. One of these (that I am a member of) is called the ゴールデンサンライト・フォーエバー・クラブ - Gōrudensanraito Fōeba Kurabu - which roughly means the Golden Sunlight Forever Club. Some of these phony cults are/were created as a disguise to have outrageous sex orgies. The cult that I am part of is one of these. (HELL YEAH!). The other cults are very boring, stare out the window and worship the stars or something like that, types. (Glad I'm not a member of those!).
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Year 5 - The Calculation - A few weeks ago I met someone special (Carmen) at one of the "worship" services. I've seen her before a few times, but this is the first time that we "connected" and it was amazing. I'm glad that she accepts my physical imperfections (burns scars). Now we are a couple and have left the cult.
Fantastic news! The Captain has announced that an Emergency Refuel Rescue Probe is on its way! The news of the rescue probe has had an electrifying effect on the crew and passengers. Everyone is so excited that no one even cares that we will have to wait just over a year for it to get to us. People are starting to clean and pick up trash again, and the sex clubs and other cults are starting to go away (in anticipation of a return to proper civilization). Now we have hope again! Thank GOD!
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Year 6 - The Spear - The rescue probe is almost here. (Only one week away!) I also have even more great news! My girlfriend fiancée is pregnant!, now I will be a Father just like I always wanted! I have spoken to Captain Chefone and he has agreed that he will marry us on the day that the Aniara turns around and heads (finally) back to Mars/our new HOME! Even though it will take us several more years to get back, it will have been worth it to me. I am grateful for the "slight detour" we had to endure, because it allowed me to meet the love of my life! Now with our precious child on the way, I am truly happy. PURE JOY - beyond all words...
Something is wrong... After an entire year of training and preparation, the crew has successfully grappled the refuel probe and brought it on board. Everyone expected that within a few days, (a week at most) that we would turn around, but it's been three weeks and nothing. Every day the passengers ask the crew what's going on? When will we turn around? and every day we get the same answer: "Soon, everything is going according to plan, just be patient." People are starting to doubt and lose hope. I even walked right up to Captain Chefone but he knew what I was going to ask and he brushed me aside very angrily saying "Not now, I'm busy!". Now I don't know what to think. One minute I have a future and the next nothing. How can this be? I don't understand! WHY?
Catastrophe! After work I went straight to my quarters to sleep, it had been an exhausting day. Just after I fell asleep, I was awakened by a rumbling. Then, over the speaker came the announcement: Return immediately to your cabins and fasten your seat belts! Since I was already in bed, and had no idea what was going on, I quickly fastened my belt. When it was all over [missing] passengers and crew left. I was told that it happened because of something called "bow shock", which [missing] kind of like a shock wave. The bow shock had badly damaged many systems. [missing] so now I've been "promoted" to Senior Maintenance Tech. Repairs must [missing] don't have any more spare parts for [missing] so many are dead...
Today the Mimarobe completed her beam-screen project. So now when you look outside you can see beautiful waterfalls and green fields etc. I try not to look at it too much. For me its just too painful...
Year 7 - The Fall of Heaven - Today marks the one year anniversary of the arrival of the so-called "Emergency Refuel Rescue Probe". What a very official and grand sounding name for a giant stupid looking dart or as some call it "The Spear". I've even heard some people refer to it as the "Devil's Javelin", but whatever you call it, it's of no use to us. The Astronomer had once told me before she died "supposedly" from a heart attack, (rumors say she was murdered by the captain, I don't doubt it) that all the work and tests they had done on the probe were useless and that even the hardest drills were simply ground into dust without even making so much as a scratch on the probe. Despite a literal barrage of tests and every possible experiment known, even using our most advanced lasers, they had achieved NOTHING! That was the moment I realized that we would never make it home. I even visted "The Spear" once, it was years after all the experiments had ended. There was a time when the area was heavily guarded by the crew and only authorized personnel were allowed in. Of course when I went to see it nobody was around, nobody cared, everyone had given up on it long ago. I saw all of the black marks from what must have been hundreds, if not thousands of desperate attempts to get inside it, or just to figure out what the damn thing was supposed to be. On the floor all around it were small heaps of black and silver metalic dust, remnants of our strongest and hardest drills, remnants of our hope. Our best and brightest couldn't even figure out what it was made of, let alone figure out how to use it to take us home.
I beat my hands against it over and over and I cried out my pain and anger at it. "You were supposed to save us!" "You were supposed to take us home!" You Damn! stupid thing, help us! save us!" But of course it was all useless my cries went unanswered, all I did was injure my hands and hurt my soul, assuming I even have one. After that I (I'm ashamed to admit it)... in complete and total desperation... I got down on my hands and knees in front of it and begged it to save us. "Oh, great magic spear, please save us and I will do anything, anything..."
After I had exhausted and humiliated myself I got up and went back to my quarters broken and alone. All hope was lost before my visit with "the spear" and afterwords it didn't even exist, not even as a word, as though there had never even been such a thing or concept as "hope".
I had been struck by the spear, just like everyone else, head on. My now ex-fiancée and I have split up. Things just weren't the same after the procedure. I don't blame her at all for our break-up, after talking about it, we agreed that if there was now no chance for us to make it home then... what was the point? I went with her when she had the procedure done. But before we went I secretly met with the doctor who would perform the operation and told her what I wanted done after. She told me that I was sick... that it was "disgusting", and what did I plan on doing with "it". I told her that it shouldn't matter, none of this matters, then I pulled out an EFR (emergency food ration). EFRs could remain edible for an indefinite period of time. (In theory they could last for hundreds of years.) Here I said, "one now and one when I get what I want". The doctor was stunned, I knew what she was going to say and I interrupted her and said,"Unlike everyone else I saved my emergency rations." "I only have the two left (I was lying) so don't try to extort me for more." After years of eating only algae, EFRs were (almost) more valuable than oxygen. Of course the doctor agreed and I got what I wanted. It might sound crazy but I had a plan. Fate had taken my family away, but I was prepared to defy even the gods themselves. I was determined that I would have my FAMILY! No matter what! Nothing and no one, no force of nature, no power in all the universe would take that from me. NO! NEVER!
I asked me a question, no reply.
I dreamt me a life and live a lie.
Dream me a nightmare...
I traveled the stars but passed them by.
For trapped on Aniara, here was I.
...always been leaving.
​
Year 8 - [missing]
​
Year 9 - The Daily Grind - I have now returned to reality. I have stopped all of the sick and sad mind games that I have being torturing myself with. I once created a "plan" to do the impossible, but no more, no more. Everyday now seems like an endless pointless, struggle. Sometimes [missing] and hours. Some of my co-workers stopped [missing] for now that's all any of us can do...
​
Year 10 - The Jubilee - Tonight at the Light-Year Hall, those of us that are still left are going to "celebrate" the 10th anniversary of our 3 week voyage to Mars or as I like to call it the "never ending space adventure" Ha!
Captain Chefone gave the Mimarobe a medal for her creation of the beam-screen device. I sat in the front row and couldn't help but notice that one of the Captains wrists was bandaged, probably from another suicide attempt...
​
Year 11 - Hope Restored - My ex-fiancée is dead. She commited suicide like so many others before. I was hard at work trying to revive the algae (they had been neglected for some time) when my assistant rushed in and told me the news. "They were about to send her body into space, you have to hurry if you want to see her". I immediately and literally dropped everything I was doing. The algae pack I had been working on fell and splashed on the floor as I ran out the door as fast as I could. As luck would have it, I made it just in time to see her, and I even had time to cut a lock of her hair. I then kissed her one last time and said "Goodbye my love... but, goodbye is not forever."
Then that was it, off she went into the empty, endless, void. She was gone I told myself, but not dead. I squeezed the lock of hair in my hand and vowed that I would bring her back to life, somehow, someway, I would make things right, we would live the life we were supposed to have. I would make it happen. It would happen. Suddenly, I felt a force deep inside me rushing to the surface. It had been years but I knew what it was, It had returned to me, a feeling of exuberation, of joy and the certainty of knowing that everything would be okay. I now resurrected my "plan" and now I had a reason to live again, I had a purpose, and now I had......HOPE! And this time I was determined that I would never lose hope again. NEVER!
​
Year 12 - Return of the Cults - Some of the old cults have started making a come back... However this time they are no longer sex/fun cults, because after so many years of eating just algae, almost everyone has lost their sex drive/ability to reproduce... I think because the type algae on board was genetically modified to produce the maximum amount of oxygen possible, so it was never intended to be used as a permanent main source of nutrition. If we had access to more than just the one type, things might be different...
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Year 13 - Foward, Foward into the cold empty night! We ride! - Captain Chefone is dead. Suicide. I knew he had been on the brink the past few years so it's not much of a surprise. I would often hear him say to himself "We should have been home by now." Of course he was right, we should have, but instead here we are stuck on this eternal "voyage of the damned".
A week after Captain Chefone died, I found myself walking by his quarters. I had the sudden impulse to go inside. I don't know what it was (probably just morbid curiosity), but I think I just wanted to find some answers...
I was surprised to find that his quarters were just as much of a mess as mine. (And everyone else's.) I think because he was the Captain, I expected a lot more. (He was only human.) After looking around the room, I went over to his desk and inside I found the Aniara's Offical Ships Log, but the electronic notepad was damaged beyond repair (on purpose). However, underneath it was a small paper notebook. "Ah, I said out loud, now this should be interesting." When I opened the notebook I was immediately disappointed. Most of the pages were torn out and those few that remained had been harshly scribbled over.
On one of the few pages not missing or completely marked over was written this: Today, we almost lost the entire ship, were it not for my quick and decisive actions as Captain. [illegible] an incredibly rare occurrence [illegible] critically damaged our main nuclear reactor. [illegible] only seconds [illegible] forcing me to [illegible] off course [illegible] have power for some time. This evening I will break the news to the passengers in such a way that will cause the least amount of panic and at the same time not destroy their hope. If they knew the real situation, it would only cause unnecessary chaos. In this way, I will maintain order and keep the passengers safe. Fear and [illegible] as Captain of Aniara [illegible] that is now my primary job. [illegible] now like a Shepherd Father and the passengers my sheep children. In many ways we are very lucky, [illegible] this trip, Aniara's sister ship crashed into Jupiter heading towards the Orion belt colony. Everyone on onboard was killed.
On another page was written this: The rescue refuel probe is here. [illegible] turned out to be [illegible] not what I expected. I have [illegible] for clarification, [illegible] Mars [illegible] -----cation. Testing will continue. I still remain confident that [illegible] the project called "[illegible] ---elin" can still be used in someway to turn the ship around and resume course.
The last two pages were so scribbled over that I could barely make out any words let alone a full sentence. I did however, notice what looked like the word "Devil" written over and over. Very strange. I left the Captain's quarters with more questions than answers...
​
Year 14 - [missing]
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Year 15 - The Light Show Ends - Today the projection device created by MR, (Everyone still calls her the 'Mimarobe' as a sign of respect.) had to be shut down to conserve power. The Mimarobe often expressed to me her regret at not being more forceful with Captain Chefone in explaining the problem with Mima. She told me that if she could back in time she would say to the Captain:
"Just imagine what it will be like if Mima isn't here... do you understand how hellish the situation will become? My life is dedicated to this program and I'M TELLING YOU, IT WILL BURN OUT AND DIE! Imagine if people can temporarily go back to earth by turning on a light switch, now imagine if the bulb blows up, and there's no replacement..." "I know how important Mima is and you don't get it!"
The beam-screen seemed like a great idea at the time to keep everyone's spirits up, but in many ways it may have done more harm than good. People lost their minds staring all the time at something they knew they would never have...
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Year 16 - [missing]
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Year 17 - [missing]
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Year 18 - The Time/Memorial Capsule - The Mimarobe was the one that came up with the idea for a time/memorial capsule. She (like all of us) has suffered greatly, but from time to time she would show a small spark of her old self. The idea, while slow to catch on, would eventually give those of us still left a renewed sense of purpose. (People now had a reason to get out of bed.) But, it was I who would take the idea and transform it into something greater. Our first attempt at creating the capsule was successful (it was little more than a metal box) but at the same time, as the Mimarobe pointed out it looked too much like a large coffin. I agreed. We could do better. We had to do better. But we had to be careful [missing] effecting power systems. I asked the Mimarobe if she could sketch a better design. After two days the Mimarobe presented me with a new design, it was beautiful, but simple, yet elegant. Above the sketch was were the words, "Heart of Aniara." The name was perfect. We would fill the "Heart of Aniara", with our art and our poetry, with our hopes, dreams and wedding rings. We would pour into it our stories, our struggles, our trials and tribulations, we would fill it with the tear drops from our very souls.
The "Heart of Aniara" is almost complete. It has taken an entire [missing] solid effort to build and everyone took turns polishing it, so now it shines like the golden sun. We also wrote [missing] and painted two large red hearts on the sides. It [missing] long and on the inside are different [missing] created using metal partitions. [missing] was instrumental in its consruction...
​
Year 19 - A Slight Delay - Disaster! Several Power systems, including all emergency back up systems across the ship have begun failing for some unknown reason. [missing] working around the clock to figure out what is wrong... I don't know how much longer we can hold on...
We finally found the [missing] will work for the time being, but [missing] restored power [missing] will do for now...
​
Year 20 - The Heart of Aniara - At last the time has come for our send off. Everything is ready. As the "Captain" of Aniara it is my great honor to commision this new vessel "Heart of Aniara". Behind me I heard someone whisper "vessel?". I continued, "It is my firm belief that the "Heart of Aniara" will make it back home to Mars and everyone will know our stories..."
A moment before send off, I told everyone to wait. Theres one more thing left. I then slid open a hatch on the side and told everyone that I hated to do this to them, but I was going to Mars with my family. The Mimarobe approached me with a half smile on her face and said in a very serious tone "Good Luck, Captain Benny", "tell everyone on Mars hi for us and that we wish we were there." I smiled and promised that I would. Then to my suprise all the others came up to me, with some shaking my hand and congratulating me, asking me to say hi to their family and friends as well. I then ducked down into the newly christened "Heart of Aniara." Then the hatch was sealed. A small rechargable electric candle that I brought with me, provided the only light. Knowing that we would be leaving in a moment I opened a small box, took Carmen (lock of ex-fiancée's hair) and Sarah Ann (small jar with dead fetus) and held them together in my left hand against my chest. I could feel my heart beating with a mixture of fear and excitement. I took out a small children's book with my right hand and began reading it from the beginning. It was my daughter's favorite. It was called "The Duck and the Noodle." "Daddy are we there yet?" I laughed as tears ran down my face and said "Yes, my little princess noodle were almost there."
The Memorial Capsule lauched into space with a loud whoosh...
(Mimarobe, MR) - When everyone had just got through waving goodbye and were getting ready to leave, the view screen turned on and with it a pre-recorded message from Captain Benny. "To celebrate this great day, I have arranged for you a "Grand Feast", then he paused. A few people exchanged questioning looks. Then the Captain spoke again. "You see", he said with a smile, "Unlike all of you, I saved my emergency rations. You will find them hidden inside the mattress in my quarters, enjoy!" "Also, you will find two bottles of wine, yes! real wine!" Before the video even finished several people had started shuffling as fast as the could to Captain Benny's quarters. The Captain wasn't lying, it appeared that he had indeed saved almost all of his emergency rations for some special occasion(s).
What a feast it was! To make it fair for everyone we took all of the rations and put them together to create a kind of giant stew. Each of us not only savored each precious spoonful, we cherished it as though it was a long lost loved one. It is not an exaggeration to say that each bite was chewed one hundred times or more and then held in the mouth for ten minutes or longer, swishing the pulpy liquid around and around. I even saw one person spit the food back into their bowl and then put it back into their mouth, over and over again. That seemed a little bit unusual to me, but everyone should enjoy their last real meal the way they want. As for the wine their was enough for everyone to have a shot glass filled to the brim. We talked about the "Great Feast" for months afterword...
​
Year 21 - [missing]
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Year 22 - The Living Dead - (Mimarobe, MR) We've had to abandon almost the entire ship to conserve power, but basically were still good alive... I still dream about Isagel and our son from time to time...
​
Year 23 - [missing]
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Year 24 - The Sarcophagus - A few remaining survivors, including the Mimarobe, sit cross-legged in a dimly lit room. One of the few survivors speaks in a rhapsodic manner about the divine power of sunlight on Earth.
The Aniara slowly descends into final darkness...
​
Note: Years 25 through 5,981,406 are missing.
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Year 5,981,407 - Lyra Constellation - The Aniara, derelict, frozen and devoid of human life - reaches the Lyra constellation and approaches a planet as verdant and welcoming as Earth was formerly. It quickly passes by continuing on into the endless void of space...
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Date Unknown - The Warm Embrace - Ages come, Ages gone, Aniara soon embraced, engulfed by warmth and shine, newest born crimson light, Aniara far from home, aflame, not even ashes remain.
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Epilogue: Year 100 - The Triumph of Hope - Despite the faliure of many valiant rescue attempts, including all attempts at communication, we remain confident that those onboard the Aniara knew that they were not forgotten. It is difficult to imagine (the speaker momentarily shuttered), the impossible challenges they endured. The story of their lives will remain in the collective hearts of humanity for all time. It is our hope that we will do right by them, now and in the future. We vow to never repeat the mistakes of the past... and that is why today, on the one hundredth anniversary since the Aniara was lost, we reach across time and space to bring their souls back home, home to this sacred place... We hereby consecrate this new park as the "Aniara Memorial Park and Museum Complex." As you walk through these doors, one of the first things you will notice is the "Heart of Aniara" on display. Along the walls are the names and pictures of the passengers and crew, their artwork, poetry, and most importantly, the stories of their lives, their hopes, dreams and wedding rings...
Aniara Memorial Plaque: We ourselves are the sorrow, we are also the joy, everything human is rooted in humanity, and no human being can escape humanity, not her hatred and her self-degradation, nor the joy she spreads, nor the love she forms.
​
Date [redacted] - Project "Devil's Javelin" - Status report #[redacted] - As of today's date we are aware of a total of four "spear-like objects" [redacted] and has contextualized that there are many more as yet discovered. Because of [redacted] we now know they are made of [redacted] and probably come from [redacted] the first was found on Earth 86 years ago, at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. The second one was discovered by the crew of the Aniara [redacted] years ago. The third was found here on Mars, near [redacted] and moved to its present secure location. The fourth and newest one was found when [redacted] the far side of the Moon. [redacted] buried inside the [redacted] impact crater. We have yet to discover the purpose of these "spear-like objects."
After [redacted] to prevent another type of incident. [redacted] have been able to gain access to the inside of the one here on Mars. [redacted] only after [redacted] and the entire team. [redacted] using the most advanced technology and research methods. Dr. [redacted] found [redacted] which is impossible and should not exist. However, we must now come to grips with the horror that this new revelation about humanity has [redacted] general public must never find out...
THE END?
​
Alternate ending 1
Year 5,981,407 - The Sarcophagus World Destroyer - As the ship Aniara descended towards the lush and green planet, the crew rejoiced. Or at least they would have if they hadn't all been dead. After thousands of millennia wandering through space, they had found a planet that was almost identical to Earth.
The planet's gravity was very strong, and the ship had become trapped in the planet's gravitational pull and started hurtling towards the surface.
The Aniara crashed into the planet with a deafening roar, causing massive destruction and sending out shockwaves that rippled across the surface.
As the dust settled, it became clear that the landing had been catastrophic. Plant and animal life had been completely obliterated, and the once green planet was now a barren wasteland. Soon not a single living thing was left to witness the horror and the devastation that had been caused.
Another beautiful, thriving, planet, a blue and green jewel, once teeming with life has been turned into a lifeless barren wasteland...
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Alternate ending 2
Year 5,981,407 - The Second Chance Sarcophagus - As the ship Aniara descended towards the lush and green planet, the crew rejoiced. Or at least they would have if they hadn't all been dead. After thousands of millennia wandering through space, they had found a planet that was almost identical to Earth.
The planet's gravity was very strong, and the ship had become trapped in the planet's gravitational pull and started hurtling towards the surface.
One one-trillionth of a second after the Aniara crashed into the planet the mysterious spear-like probe on board finally awakened. A God-Like Power. In that one one-trillionth of a second the Aniara was scanned by the powerful probe and the events and lives of the crew had become known to it. At the same time, both the ship and the planet were saved by a force field of immense power. The ship was now resting safely on the surface of the lush, green planet. The probe had determined that the primitive life forms on board were worthy of a second chance at life and it was able to resurrect the entire crew and all the passengers from microscopic DNA that had been left. The Aniara was perfectly restored and even the Mima had been brought back. The crew and passengers awoke to find themselves in a veritable Garden of Eden, a paradise. Maybe this time things would go better and the mistakes from the past would not be repeated...
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I (25F) am considering reaching out to my dad (51M) after a nasty divorce.
There has been a lot that has happened over the course of my mom's and dad's divorce. It would honestly be way too much to try to fit into this whole post so I'll give a quick summary.
My dad is technically my stepdad. He adopted me when I was 2 when my mom and him got married. Mom and him had two kids together. When my sister was born however, things got bad. My mom has serious depression and my dad turned to drinking. My sister had severe autism and epilepsy. She couldn't talk or do anything for herself and she needed 24/7 care.
This took a toll on my parents, they slept a lot. My dad drank a lot at night. My mom was irritable. My dad emotionally abused me and my brother growing up. I was expected to take care of my siblings and didn't really get to do much outside of school.
My sister passed away in the middle of the divorce. The last time I saw my dad was at her funeral. I talked to him at the end. The thing is my sister came to me in a dream after she passed. I don't typically believe in these things but she told me she wanted to tell him that she did miss him. (He actually asked my mom this after she told him she died.) So I told him, he hugged me and cried. He always treated my sister amazingly. I don't think a single person in this world could have treated her better which is strange considering how he treated me and my brother.
I've been hesitant about reaching out since. My mom would kill me if she ever found out. Both my parents are fucked up. My mom is a narcissistic and has emotionally abused me to this day. My dad at least has stopped drinking but I have no idea how he is today. Its been 2 years.
I know I will regret it if I never reach out to him. I don't even know what to say or how to go about this. I know I'm not obligated to speak to him at all but I want to.
TL:DR;
I don't know what to say to my dad to try and reach out after two years.

This text is about to be really unorganized I’m just warning you. Quick context- I’m 29 years old and my dad passed when I was 28. We were close but maybe not close enough!!!!! I probably could have been much better! I want to watch more tv shows with him and I shrugged him off when he would ask to watch with me. I shrugged him off way too much!!! I hate that my last memories of him are him suffering. It makes me fucking sick. I hate this all. I hate that I went out on a date with my boyfriend tonight and somehow every song the restaurant played was a song my dad used to play and we would relax to on the back porch on a summer night just like this. My boyfriend is a very understanding person so I could have told him I was uncomfortable on the date but I’m such a stupid pushover that I didn’t say shit and instead I listened as each song came through and echoed over my date night - reminding me of my dad. How did they manage to play every single one of his favorite songs. I just want to watch tv with my dad again and I took that all for granted. I am so sad.

It's shooting fish in a barrel, but for some games you really have to wonder if the author ever actually played it, let alone expected others to do so. For your amusement, here's a review of The Spawn of Fashan. Highlights:

• There are ten base stats, three of which are named "Courage."
• You roll for stats after you choose your class.
• There are magical classes, but no rules for magic.
• Attacking requires adding up weapon familiarity, weapon hit modifier (though these are not in the book), the difference in Reflex stats between attacker and defender, a modifier for the target hit location, an exploding die roll, and a hit location-specific armor modifier. Oh, and there are active defense rolls too.
• Damage rolls often require six rolls for the attacker (if the target has armor) and two for the defender.
• Armor and weapons have hit points.

Have you seen anything that comes close? Anything that tops it?

If this isn’t the right place to ask please let me know.
I’m trying to build a gaming pc but I’m not very sure about components. I’ve made a list of parts but I’m not too sure if it’s actually any good or the parts are compatible with each other. Any advice/recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
Intel Core i7-13700K 3.4 GHz 16-Core Processor
be quiet! Dark Rock Pro 4 50.5 CFM CPU Cooler
MSI MAG Z790 TOMAHAWK WIFI ATX LGA1700 Motherboard
Corsair Dominator Platinum RGB 64 GB (2 x 32 GB) DDR5-6000 CL40 Memory
Samsung 970 Evo Plus 1 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive Seagate Barracuda Compute 2 TB 3.5" 7200 RPM Internal Hard Drive
PowerColor Red Devil Radeon RX 7900 XTX 24 GB Video Card
Lian Li O11 Dynamic EVO ATX Mid Tower Case
Corsair RM850x (2021) 850 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply
I know this is messy but I couldn’t get the Reddit markup to work correctly.

I (25F) am considering reaching out to my dad (51M) after a nasty divorce.
There has been a lot that has happened over the course of my mom's and dad's divorce. It would honestly be way too much to try to fit into this whole post so I'll give a quick summary.
My dad is technically my stepdad. He adopted me when I was 2 when my mom and him got married. Mom and him had two kids together. When my sister was born however, things got bad. My mom has serious depression and my dad turned to drinking. My sister had severe autism and epilepsy. She couldn't talk or do anything for herself and she needed 24/7 care.
This took a toll on my parents, they slept a lot. My dad drank a lot at night. My mom was irritable. My dad emotionally abused me and my brother growing up. I was expected to take care of my siblings and didn't really get to do much outside of school.
My sister passed away in the middle of the divorce. The last time I saw my dad was at her funeral. I talked to him at the end. The thing is my sister came to me in a dream after she passed. I don't typically believe in these things but she told me she wanted to tell him that she did miss him. (He actually asked my mom this after she told him she died.) So I told him, he hugged me and cried. He always treated my sister amazingly. I don't think a single person in this world could have treated her better which is strange considering how he treated me and my brother.
I've been hesitant about reaching out since. My mom would kill me if she ever found out. Both my parents are fucked up. My mom is a narcissistic and has emotionally abused me to this day. My dad at least has stopped drinking but I have no idea how he is today. Its been 2 years.
I know I will regret it if I never reach out to him. I don't even know what to say or how to go about this. I know I'm not obligated to speak to him at all but I want to.
TL:DR;
I don't know what to say to my dad to try and reach out after two years.