TLDR

Reformed is going into restricted mode (read-only) on June 12 for 48 hours to join the protest against API change.
But really, read this.

What's going on?

A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.

What's the plan?

On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy, including Reformed (read below for details). Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it much more difficult to keep doing what we love.

Why is reformed joining this black out?

First, we want to make it very clear that we do NOT view this blackout as a Gospel issue. As a decent-size subreddit that is centered around Christianity, to do something like this could communicate that it is a gospel issue or that this action is representative of what Christ would want us to do, but that is not true. This is not a spiritual issue, but one where we have Christian liberty to participate or not.
There are a number of reasons the mod team thinks we should join the blackout. Some items are higher priority than others and various mods have differing primary reasons and maybe even don’t care that much about the other reasons. So in no particular order here are a few (but not all) the reasons we’ve decided to join this blackout:

1. To register our dissent with this decision and the direction this decision represents. Reddit had always been friendly towards open source, 3rd party apps, and browser extensions (RES and Mod Toolbox) until more recently. This trend might be inevitable, but it's worth an attempt to fight against it instead of simply accepting defeat immediately.
2. The official app does not support accessibility on iOS and so the seeing impaired will be adversely affected by not having 3rd party apps. blind (and other seeing impaired subreddits) may not actually be able to function without the 3rd party apps that they use.
3. Most of the mods and many of the members of Reformed rely on 3rd party apps for browsing. Making modding harder and making participation harder by taking away the tools that we use to participate (and mod) will result in a lower quality subreddit.

Some other notes

1. We (the mods of reformed) are taking part in this blackout for the above reasons (and more). And thus you (the members of this subreddit) are affected, too, but that doesn’t mean you need to support this blackout or that we’re forcing you into a particular viewpoint here. But we are using the tools at our disposal to bring attention to an issue.
2. As stated above, we do not want this to communicate something about the gospel that is not true. Use Reddit or don't, but this is primarily a business issue, not a spiritual one. If you don’t like a business or what a business is doing, you take your business elsewhere. Or if you really like that business, but there’s an issue, you might raise a complaint about it. That’s what we’re attempting to do: raise a complaint that reddit admins and execs will hear in a way consistent with the broader complaint from all of Reddit. We know we’re small, but joining in a larger complaint in the same way both aids the effort and allows us to make an impact as a smaller subreddit.
3. What does “going dark” mean for reformed? Some subs are going private. However, what we’re going to do is go into restricted mode on June 12th for 48 hours. This means that you will be able to view all of reformed, but no one will be able to post or comment. (We will make an exception for the Unreached People Group of the Week - and maybe we’ll all actually read it this time! :-)
4. If you need prayer and for some reason can’t ask your local church and/or pastor(s), elders, or deacons, you can always modmail and we’ll make our best efforts to pray for you.

Long-time lurker; first time poster. I am in my early 70’s, formerly 5th generation all-in TBM, and have been PIMO for about three years. I have been married to my extremely TBM husband for over 50 years. We have many adult children >7, grandchildren >20, and several great-grandchildren. The whole family are all TBM (except 2 adult children and a couple of grandchildren), and most of us live fairly close to each other in the morridor. My husband was shocked and hurt when I told him that I didn’t believe anything in the church anymore about two years ago. He has experienced what he feels are profound spiritual experiences with the holy ghost in his life and doesn’t want to listen to any of my reasons for not believing. I understand that his whole life paradigm and after-life expectations have been shaken, and I have reassured him that I am still the same person with my same values of being a good person that I was before. I told him that I would still attend church meetings and go through the motions of being a good member of the church for his sake and for the sake of our marriage even though it is becoming more and more uncomfortable for me now.
Currently, my most pressing problem is that my grandchild is getting married in the temple this month, and I would like to attend the sealing, but my temple recommend expired a few months ago. Since I don’t believe anything in the church is true, I don’t really feel bad about not being entirely truthful during the temple recommend interviews. However, my husband is totally against it and suggested that he would out me to the bishop and stake president if I did that.
My dilemma is that since I won’t be attending the sealing of my grandchild, I feel like our whole family dynamic will change when everyone finds out that I don’t have a temple recommend because I don't believe in the church anymore. Our large family is close-knit and gets together often; but some of my children are uber TBM and can be quite judgmental, and I don’t know how to deal with the possible fallout at my age. Several years ago, when my child left the church with the kids, the rest of our family didn’t really shun them, but their relationship with them changed dramatically with a lot of criticism and talking behind their back. It would be extremely hurtful if they did that to me, but I know that I can’t control any of their reactions. My family has been my life for over 50 years, and I don’t want to change/lose my relationship with any of them. They are all wonderful people but deluded by the church in my opinion.
I am thinking that I probably should write an email to all of the adults in the family as soon as possible letting them know about my change in beliefs (without going into detail). I don’t want this bombshell to hit the family on my grandchild’s special day when it will be obvious that I am not in the temple with most of them. Because I really have no one that I can confide in (not even my exmo children for complicated reasons) and no money for therapy; I am turning to this awesome group for support, advice, and any suggestions that you might have for the content of the email that I need to send to my family--especially if you have been in my position. It’s been wonderful being part of this online community. You have already helped me a great deal during these past few years, and I really appreciate all of you!

So if you thought there was no crossover THERE WAS.
He goes on to say
" I grew up at the forefront of the Christian homeschooling movement. My parents, Gregg and Sono Harris, were prominent homeschool leaders in the 1980s and ’90s and educated me and my six siblings at home. While we weren’t involved in IBLP, I had many close friends who were. And my family and I helped popularize to a more mainstream evangelical audience some of the same ideas Gothard promoted: from homeschooling and “courtship” to strict rules for female modesty and obedience to authority.
...
But the Joshua Generation story is one worth telling. It’s an ambitious plot that has been far more successful than most people realize, and it helps explain much of our current political, cultural, and spiritual moment. To the extent someone was trying to tell even part of that story, I wanted to help them do it accurately—ideally paired with a more biblical vision for Christian engagement with politics and culture.
I also chose to participate to make clear that even those of us with good homeschool experiences have real concerns about aspects of the movement, to buttress the voices of those understandably hurt and even angry.
It can be far too easy for those of us in the church to dismiss the stories of those who’ve “deconstructed”; to take issue with their choices, tone, and new beliefs (or lack thereof); and to move much too quickly past the sins, abuses, and hypocrisies that caused so much pain.
...
I know people who had positive experiences with IBLP. These were homeschool families with parents who genuinely sought to honor God and do what was best for their children. I also know people who experienced every bit of the trauma the series exposes.
...
Despite Shiny Happy People’s shortcomings, it’d be a great loss to the church if thoughtful Christians, pastors, and other ministry leaders choose to look the other way.
Looking the other way is how this happened in the first place.
While he has few defenders in high places these days, and while some now attempt to dismiss his influence, Gothard is no fringe figure. His father served for a time as the executive director of The Gideons International, and Gothard received two degrees from Wheaton College. Long before turning his attention to a burgeoning Christian homeschool community in the 1980s, Gothard was presenting his “Basic Seminar” to packed coliseums around the country and winning the support and patronage of prominent Christian politicians, businessmen, and ministry leaders."

I've had a big breakthrough connecting not having an identity to the emotional neglect, and then because I don't have an identity, I can't socialize because I have nothing to share. Emotional neglect is from my parents never talking to me, severely enough to give me speech and language delays. They never "mirrored" me, never noticed my emotions or experiences, and never were in "attunement" which are all necessary for healthy bonding and social emotional development.
Mentally healthy parents give their kids that social emotional identity through the mirroring and talking to their kids about the children's experiences and feelings. "You like animals, you like playing outside, you like kicking the ball, you like making watercolor paintings, etc." And then the child incorporates that feedback into their sense of identity as long as the statements are attuned and correct with what the child feels. Healthy families also give their kids a family identity and cultural identity along with a personal identity.
I noticed this in school during adolescence. Other kids could talk about what church they went to, or why they didn't go to church. There was no wrong answer, like "That's the wrong church, or you are bad because you're atheists." Everyone accepted everyone else's answer as valid, because they were just having a conversation getting to know each other. And I could see that they all had identities. They had personal identities, and family identities, and belonged to a community. And they invited me to the conversation, but my family doesn't go to church and I didn't know why. I had nothing to contribute because I had no identity.
I thought I might have a family identity that I didn't know about, and I was curious and also thought it might fill the void in me that I might actually be a person and have something to contribute socially. I went home and asked my mom why we don't go to church, expecting a cute story about our family beliefs like everyone else had. But my mom was livid that I had the gall to ask and reacted violently.
That was just kind of all I got from my parents. There were a few times I asked about things that might have given me a sense of identity, but I got punishments instead of answers. I learned it wasn't safe to talk.
And finally, I'm like no wonder I couldn't socialize because I had no sense of self or identity! My family treated me like a piece of furniture! I didn't know who I was or where I came from. I didn't know how to play my own role. And this is caused directly by the emotional neglect.
My therapist kind of led me to share things I do have an identity about, like my career and hobbies. And I'm like, "yes, there are these things, but they don't replace the core emotional identity that my family never gave me."

Background:
5 years WE: 2 years software business analyst -> 2 years internal IT consultant -> 1 year project manager (2 at matriculation). All at the same F500 manufacturing firm.
Extra curriculars: Not a lot here tbh, I've done some volunteering work with a few local organizations (food bank, community garden, stuff like that), but it's pretty sporadic. I'm also involved in the leadership of my church and other religious related activities. That's about it really.
School: BS Engineering from a mediocre state school (non Vandy SEC :) )
Other education: CAPM certification (not enough PjM work experience for the PMP yet)
Demographic info: 28 Heteronormative Cisgender Male, first generation college graduate from a low income family in a rural area of the deep south
Stats:
GPA: 3.8, GMAT: 750
Career Goals:
short term: Consulting with a focus on IT strategy
long term: F500 manufacturing CIO/CTO
I'm passionate about the manufacturing industry. Both of my parents were factory workers in a manufacturing facility in my hometown, and from an early age I saw how it acted as a linchpin employer for the town. I'm excited to be part of an industry capable of providing work opportunities for people in rural areas that are otherwise undeveloped, and I hope to be able to spend my career facilitating those types of opportunities.
I'm also passionate about technology. I was first inspired to study engineering when, while participating in a robotics program at my high school, I entered and won a local autonomous robotics programming competition. I hope to be able to combine these two passions by spending my career as a technical leader in the manufacturing industry.
To that end, I've spent my time since undergrad in technical roles at a F500 manufacturing firm. As my career has advanced to my current role as a project manager, I've found I also have a passion for leading others in this field. However, while I have the technical background necessary for my goals, I lack the general business background I will need to lean on as I grow as a leader. In addition, since I have only worked for one firm since college, I believe I also lack a broader understanding of the industry as a whole.
That's why I want an MBA. I believe it will give me the opportunity to fill the general business education gap I have in my background as well as the opportunity to transition to the consulting industry which will broaden my exposure to manufacturing industry as a whole.
Long term, I anticipate returning to the manufacturing industry in a leadership capacity.
Schools:
Reach: Stanford, Harvard
Target: MIT, Yale
Safety: Duke, Cornell
Any other suggestions?

As the sub grows and more new people find us, inevitably many of those new people will be so new to the subject, that they’re just now discovering things that some others may have discovered a long time ago. But, all of us were new once, to questioning what had occurred.
Whilst some comments may be in bad faith, some are not. Sometimes people really just have the beginning of an awareness that at the bottom of every rotten therapist is an even more rotten system that enables them. To some degree this is not even about therapy, it is the story of every political party and NGO organization, every workplace, every family and just any group dynamic will have a politics of power and influence. The dominant and the dominated.
Having a public subreddit is like standing on a street corner with signs discussing your issue while various passerby walk by. Some passerby may be like “wow, this is great and I was looking for this without even knowing” and other passerby may be like “hey, you’re wrong!!!” and even pick a fight. Does this mean you no longer fit in with the people standing at the corner with you? No, it means there was a passerby that wasn’t interested in your message. That’s kind of like comments on a very specialized subject such as therapy abuse. For a person to say “oh, I made an OP and I got an unsupportive comment”. There are 8 thousand people on the sub. Report it with a note, reply to it (respectfully, even just to say “I don’t agree” or “I don’t agree because xyz”, or ignore it. 3 choices are always available).
I’m not interested in making the sub private. I’m interested in as many people finding this community and these discussions as possible. There are some growing pains with any subreddit or IRL organization and I do care about the feedback and will implement some and ask for more soon. That being said, and I know a lot of people will not want to hear this, at some point in your trauma recovery you DO need to try to speak up and stand up for yourself when the occasion calls for it. For almost all of my childhood and teens I was very freeze and fawn type and then in my late 20s and early 30s I developed more of a fight response. The subreddit is a place where genuinely bullying and trolling will be removed by the mod, and stay removed. But you have to help take action to make that happen! And you might as well practice standing up for yourself in a way that is direct brief but clear “I don’t agree and I’m not going to respond further”. The “reactivity” is understandable but it is exactly what a genuine bully or a troll wants. I’ve had to learn a lot about bullying because as a former narcissistic family scapegoat all I knew was being bullied. And I grew up to have self harm problems and low self esteem/depression and recurrent issues with workplace bullying and other group dynamics.
While there are bound to be some mistakes and learning in a real life environment (it takes skill and practice to stand down a bully) you HAVE to move past the rejection sensitivity and tendency to be more easily discouraged, which are direct results of trauma. You also have to learn what you’re doing that is waving a red flag in front of a bull of opportunistic garden variety bullies like in workplaces, churches and etc. I’m talking about assholes, not true pathological narcissists and psychopaths who also wield power. In that case, no contact and leave. Anyways, I know I will not have a popular message saying this last bit but don’t let a HANDFUL of people you don’t resonate with drive you out of ANYWHERE that you’d like to stay. Fight them by standing up for yourself!
I had a good reputation at my former workplace that when I stood down a bully in a public place then followed up by reporting them formally through the company. She was written up and told to never do that again. I also rallied so many other people to submit comments about what they’d done to them too, that there was so much evidence that we won! They can beat you alone but not in a group. Also, once a bully locks target on you my life experience has told me if you can’t flee you need to FIGHT. Play “nice” and ignore it doesn’t work. You need to play politics and learn to increase your strategy and chances (not a guarantee) of winning against bullies.
And counteract bullying by speaking up, standing up and sticking around regardless of triggers, IF you want to. It DOESN’T mean you can change the other persons mind or behavior or guarantee that you keep your job, the relationship etc but it DOES feel better than just taking it without a STRATEGIC fight. Speaking from personal experience, therapy abuse conditioned me to just “take” bullying and abuse and not fight it but “cope with it”. Changing that has been freeing.

I am so confused and upset. My husband (35M) and I (31F) have been married for 2 years. When we first started dating I told my husband that my brother was gay and asked him if he was accepting of gay people/gay marriage. He said absolutely I don’t understand people who don’t.
My brother is now married to an amazing man and my brother officiated our ceremony.
Ever since the beginning of the pandemic my husband has leaned in a lot more to his faith by going to church more frequently and joining a bible study group.
Today he randomly started a conversation with me saying that he was upset that I put a rainbow bandana on our dog because the whole “pride month thing” makes him so uncomfortable. He said he does not wish any harm to anyone in the LGBTQ+ community, he will never use derogatory terms towards them and will speak up if someone uses those types of terms. He said it makes him uncomfortable because God intended a man and a woman to get married not man and man or woman and woman.
He says he loves my brother and will never treat him differently but he just wanted to express his feelings to me.
I don’t know how to trust that his feelings won’t become more extreme as he continues to becoming more religious.
I feel completely bamboozled and sick to my stomach. I don’t know how to proceed since we have such different views. I’m trying to process if this is a deal breaker or something we can work on. Any advice would be helpful.

So I'm Black. I've watched the Duggars for years, following the shit show, even rooting for Jinger to leave at one point.
Thing is, a lot of times this wasn't a common thing to watch in my community.
However, with the documentary out, Black people are discovering the Duggars and talking about it on TikTok. Some are comparing it to the churches we grew up in (I left the church to my family's dismay. And I did it dramatically, letting them all know if I was going to hell, the minister was too for sctupping the secretary, amen). It's just been delightful.

after a lot of consideration i've decided to attend a morning service at a local baptist church tomorrow. its the nearest one to me though i live in a town with about 12 churches so hey there are plenty of options if it doesnt work out lol. through watching a few video services and checking out their website and social media it seems like a very welcoming community and im excited to start this journey. on the other hand showing up as someone with little knowledge or experience to an established community feels very intimidating and nobody in my life is particularly encouraging about this. ive received many nasty comments from so called friends about this idea, even one of my friends of 5 years who is a christian themselves. it feels a bit lonely and definitely a major change which is always a bit nerve wracking. im also meeting up with a friend afterwards, he offered to meet with me and go out for lunch to cheer me up because my dog is getting put down later in the week. he lives a couple towns away and is catching the only early bus in arriving at around 9. the service begins at 915 and i offered he could come with me. i'm by no means trying to convert him or push anything on him i simply think it would be nice for us to go together and frankly due to my anxiety it would be nice to have some support. he shot me down and became very defensive about how he, as a gay person would be very uncomfortable and doesn't support the idea so is instead gonna study at a local cafe till its over. its just upsetting that the people in my life i share everything with and have trusted as my closest friends for the last 5 years dont support my growth and express visible annoyance and discomfort whenever the topic comes up. we grew up together these people have been my best friends since i was 11. when i wanted to sleep around and party and was in the darkest point of my life they were all for it and now that i want to give myself to the lord and better myself im faced with snarky comments and am being shunned. its sad i have nobody in my life to share this excitement and journey with, it feels discouraging though i firmly believe this is the right thing for me and im trying to look forwards. i know this has been a long post so thankyou for reading, i guess im just looking for some support and encouragement or just understanding as this is a big step for me. :)

I’m nearly 50 years old with adult children. Over the past 30 years my parents have completely separated themselves from fundamentalism and have adopted very progressive attitudes, which I commend them for and appreciate.
They are now very vocal about the ways in which the church abused and harmed THEM.
However, there is zero conversation about the childhood they inflicted on me and my siblings. It’s a glaring and bizarre omission. (Physical abuse, will breaking, parentification, body shaming, sexual repression, homeschooling that was completely inadequate, deep heavy involvement in the fundamental community and isolation from anything “secular,” etc. In my case there were also bizarre relationships with adult men and grooming that was allowed to happen.) There is no acknowledgement of what happened to us. It’s like both my parents simply “forgot.” They are vocally and harshly damning of other people who do these same things now. To their credit, there were certain areas where they were not as terrible as some families, for instance they expressed egalitarian attitudes regarding gender roles, however their lifestyle and the community we were immersed in did not, so it almost didn’t matter because of the teaching and other authority figures who were very prominent in our daily lives.
I don’t want or need an apology from them. I’ve accepted that at the time they really didn’t know better, and I’ve forgiven them. However, the silence around the subject is very difficult for me. It feels vaguely like gaslighting - almost a pretense that nothing really happened. I have no desire to make my parents feel bad or guilty by dredging up their mistakes, but at the same time, it’s very difficult to be around them when they speak out against and condemn other people for things they did themselves, and that I clearly remember. It’s also hard for me when they detail their own “victimization” because from perspective, they were complicated participants and abusers as well.
Thoughts?

I recommend this book because it comes from the perspective of a Christian pastor, trying to reach out to Mormons. Anybody that is a post Mormon Christian is going to really enjoy it because it helps define the fundamental differences between Christianity and Mormonism
Anybody that’s completely postmormon atheist and either historically/intellectually inclined or curious is still going to find it interesting because quite often Mormons believe (often unconsciously) that they are not really “known” by the community at large. This book is fascinating, in pointing out the Christian awareness of Mormonism. It even talks about the victim complex and the efforts of Mormonism to look more Christian throughout the last few years.
Basically- This is an insight into how the Christian world sees Mormon doctrine and how much they really do know about it.
Some quotes:
“Since writing this book five years ago, some things have changed in Mormonism while others have stayed the same. The changes have been mostly cosmetic. The Mormon church is working on numerous fronts in an effort to be accepted as Christian. They have changed their logo to make Jesus Christ more prominent in their church name. They have started offering free Bibles rather than the Book of Mormon in some of their ads. President Gordon B. Hinckley has downplayed and has, at times, even appeared to deny classic Mormon teachings. Mormon authors, like Stephen E. Robinson, have written books that use Christian terminology and thus sound more Christian, but always with the disclaimer that they are not speaking for the church, but only for themselves.”
“Therefore I feel that it is becoming more and more important for the Christian witness to be familiar with LDS official resources. I still recommend obtaining their basic manual, Gospel Principles, even though, over the years, they have weakened many of its strongest statements.”
“I feel I need to sound a word of caution here. Since an increasing number of Mormons are citing some of the confusing and misleading statements made by some of their popular authors, it is easy to conclude that they themselves are being deliberately deceptive. At times, such a conclusion is warranted. But many times the Mormons themselves are in a state of confusion. They too are struggling to understand some of these words and concepts. But one thing always comes through loud and clear. All Mormons think they have to become perfect and work themselves back into Heavenly Father’s presence. Mormonism hasn’t given them the peace and joy of knowing Jesus was perfect for them. They still have to be told about the Savior who has done everything for them.”
“By concentrating on the gospel’s positive message, we hope also to convey the message that we are trying to help Mormons rather than attack them. I say “hope” because many Mormons feel persecuted even before we talk to them. Many will have difficulty believing that we are concerned about them.”
“Since Mormon doctrine changes, I have found it more effective to quote such sources than historical LDS writings, with which many Mormons are not familiar. Some readers might be surprised at the lack of quotations from the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. Although Mormons regard these as scripture, many seldom read them. Most are more familiar with the various church manuals, their hymnbook, and the monthly Ensign magazine. Those are the sources that will help you identify with the average Mormon.”
“In reality, however, large numbers of Mormons are hurting: people who are victims; people who are not intentionally deceptive but sincerely deceived; who are not arrogantly self-righteous but incredibly unhappy; who need not only our compassion, but most importantly our Savior.”
“In spite of all such evidence, there appears to be a movement within Mormonism that downplays the attaining of godhood. Although all we can do is speculate about the reason for this, it appears they are doing it because this teaching reveals just how different Mormonism is from Christianity. That causes them problems because they consider themselves Christians and are aggressively contending that they are Christians.”
“Because of this emphasis on the family, Mormons can easily give the impression that family is more important than God. And for many Mormons, family has taken the place of God.”
Etc etc

The time has come to try to unload my entire collection, I've been selling on here for a few years and am an experienced seller and I would love to get these awesome records to some people who will love and appreciate them! Everything is VG+ and well cared for. I will give you a better price for the more you buy! $5 shipping on all orders, US only.
Adventures- Adventures 7"-Pale Yellow-$10
Adventures-Clear My Head With You-Blue-$10
Adventures/Pity Sex Split-Red W/ Blue Color in Color-$10
Adventures/Run Forever Split-Red/ Light Blue-$10
Aeon Station-Observatory-Blue-$15
Alkaline Trio- Maybe I'll Catch Fire-Transparent Orange-$30
American Pleasure Club- A Whole Fucking Lifetime Of This-Purple/Blue-$30
Antarctigo Vespucci- Essential Antarctigo Vespucci Vol.1- Gold-$15
The Appleseed Cast- Low Level Owl: Vol 1 + 2-Jungle Swirl-$50
Archers Of Loaf- Icky Mettle-Blue-$25
Archers Of Loaf-White Trash Heroes- White-$25
Atmosphere- Overcast EP-$14
Balance and Composure-The Things We Think We're Missing-Yellow/Black Haze-$60
Balance and Composure- Light We Made-Flesh- $30
Basement-I Wish I Could Stay Here-Gold-$18
Beach Slang- A Loud Bash Of Teenage Feelings-Blue Starburst-$10
Beach Slang- The Deadbeat Bang Of Heartbeat City- Red-$10
Beach Slang- Cheap Thrills On A Dead End Street- Orange-$15
Beach Slang- MPLS-$5
Beach Slang- Skyway/Old Orchard Beach-$20
Beach Slang- Who Would Ever Want Anything So Broken?-$10
The Beatles- Abbey Road- $20
The Beatles- Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band-Anniversary Edition-$30
Bedhead-Transaction De Novo-$30
Better Oblivion Community Center-Better Oblivion Community Center-Yellow-$50
Big Bite-Big Bite-$15
Big Thief- Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You-Random Color Eco Mix-$35
Black Country New Road-For The First Time-Translucent Blue-$40
Black Country New Road-Ants From Up There-Deluxe Edition-$40
Blonde Redhead- Fake Can Be Just As Good-$14
Boris- Akum No Uta- $20
David Bowie- Space Oddity- $25
David Bowie-Hunky Dory-$30
David Bowie- Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars-$30
David Bowie- Station To Station- $25-SOLD
David Bowie-Lodger- $25
David Bowie- Blackstar-$30
Bright Eyes- Fevers And Mirrors-$25
Bright Eyes- I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning-$30
Broken Social Scene- Broken Social Scene-Clear W/ Red-$50
Bugg- Bugg-Green- $30
Coma Cinema- Loss Memory- $50
John Coltrane- A Love Supreme- Impulse Orange- $15
Converge- All We Love We Leave Behind- Pink/Purple Mix-$50
Mat Cothran- My First Love Mends My Final Days-$40
Crash Of Rhinos-Knots-$30
Cymbals Eat Guitars- Why There Are Mountains- $15
Cymbals Eat Guitars- Pretty Years-Smoke-$25
Daniel Johnston- Fun- $15
Daylight- Dispirit-Yellow Starburst-$20
Daylight- Run For Cover Acoustic Series #3- $10
Deafheaven- New Bermuda-$15
Deafheaven- Sunbather-Yellow/Pink-$25
Kevin Devine-Brothers Blood-$20
Kevin Devine- Make The Clocks Move-Clear Brown- $50
Kevin Devine- Instigator- Red-$15
Kevin Devine- Bubblegum- Clear-$15
DIIV-Oshin-Purple-$30
DIIV- Is The Is Are- Captured Tracks Special Edition- $30
Dinosaur Jr.- Bug- $15
Dinosaur Jr. - Farm- $25
The Districts- Telephone-$15
Dogleg- Melee- Red W/ Blue and White Splatter-$70
Donovan Wolfington- How To Treat The Ones You Love-Clear- $15
Donovan Wolfington- Waves- Pink-$15
Drug Church- Cheer-Red in Beer- $70
Drug Church- Drug Church 7"- White No Sleep Subscription- $20
Drug Church- Party at Dead Man's 7"- $10
Drug Church- Paul Walker-Orange- $40
Drug Church- Swell- Clear W/ Green Haze- $25
Elliott Smith- Alternate Versions From EitheOr 7"- $10
Elliott Smith - EitheOr-$50
Elliott Smith-Elliott Smith-$35
Elliott Smith- Elliott Smith Alternate Versions- $20
Elliott Smith- New Moon-$25
Elliott Smith- Pretty (Ugly Before) 7"- Blue/White-$15
Elliott Smith-XO-Hazel Black Smoke- $100
Elvis Depressedly- Depressedelica-Black and White Galaxy-$25
Elvis Depressedly- Holo Pleasures/ California Dreamin'-Baby Blue in Bone-$20
Elvis Depressedly- New Alhambra-Purple Starburst-$15
Empire! Empire!-What It Takes To Move Forward- Sea Blue/Bone Red/ Bone-$100
Father John Misty- Fear Fun-$15
The Fall Of Troy- Doppelganger-$50
Field Medic-Fade Into The Dawn-Oxblood In Clear- $20
Field Medic-Floral Prince- Red- $40
Fucked Up- David Comes To Life - Yellow- $15
Fucked Up- Year Of The Horse- Gold-$15
Girls- Father, Son, Holy Ghost-$50
Gouge Away- Burnt Sugar-$20
Gulch- Impenetrable Cerebral Fortress- Cyan & Mustard Pinwheel w/ Purple Splatter-$50
Happy Diving- Electric Soul Unity- $20
Hot Snakes-Suicide Invoice-Yellow-$15
Hot Snakes- Audit In Progress-Pink-$15
The Hotelier- Goodness- Fawn & Field-$30
Interpol- Turn On The Bright Lights- 10th Anniversary Edition-$80
Jim James- Regions of Light And Sound Of God- Autographed Test Pressing- $150
Jay Reatard- Matador Singles '08-$15
Julia Brown- An Abundance Of Strawberries- Red- $15
Julia Brown- Library b/w I Wanna Be A Witch 7"- $25
King Tuff- The Other- Rainbow Marble- $15
Knot- Knot- Red-$15
Leatherface-Horsebox- $40
Colonel Les Claypool's Fearless Flying Frog Brigade- Live Frogs- Green- $40
Manchester Orchestra- A Black Mile To The Surface- Clear W/ Black Smoke- $80
Manchester Orchestra - Cope- $15
Margot & The Nuclear So & So's- Not Animal- Pink- $100
The Mars Volta- Deloused in The Comatorium-Sealed 2021 Repress- $40
The Mars Volta- Frances The Mute-Sealed 2021 Repress- $50
Melvins- Eggnog + Lice-All- $20-SOLD
Melvins- Gluey Porch Treatments- Green-$15-SOLD
Melvins- Hostile Ambient Takeover-Pink- $15
Melvins- Nude With Boots- Red-$15
The Menzingers- Chamberlain Waits- $15
The Menzingers- After The Party- Red-$40
The Menzingers- On The Impossible Past-Summer Sky Wave -$40
Mil-Spec- World House-$15
Modern Baseball Holy Ghost- Yellow- $15
Modern Baseball- Sports- Clear-$40
Thelonious Monk-Underground- 2014 ORG Pressing /2000- $50
Night School- Blush- Yellow- $15
Night School - Disappear Here- $12
Old Gray- An Autobiography- Half Pink/ Half Yellow-$60
The Orwells- Disgraceland- $20
The Orwells- Terrible Human Beings- $20
Ovlov-Am- Clear-$50
Ovlov-Tru-$30
Ovlov- Buds- Clear-$30
Ovlov- Greatest Hits Vol.II- $20
Parquet Courts- Content Nausea- $40
Parquet Courts- Light Up Gold- Pink- $30
Parquet Courts- Sunbathing Animal -W/ 7"- $40
Parquet Courts- Wide Awake! - Blue- $50
Pedro The Lion- Control- Yellow- $15
Posture & The Grizzly- I Am Satan- Green/ Milky clear split W/ Splatter- $50
Primus- Frizzle Fry- $Yellow- $45
Primus- Sailing The Seas Of Cheese- $35
The Residents- Eskimo- Clear W Black Swirl- $20
The Residents-Meet The Residents- Lime Green- $30
Rival Schools- United By Fate-$50
Saba- Care For Me-VMP- $40
SALEM-King Knight-Clear w/ Purple Splatter-$50
The Sidekicks- Awkward Breeds- Copper-$50
Sleep- Dopesmoker- Green hazy Translucent-$40
Slowdive- Slowdive- Silver-$20
Tiny Moving Parts- Pleasant Living- Red/ Orange- $40
Told Slant- Still Water- White- $30
Touche Amore- Parting The Sea Between Brightness and Me- Clear Family & Friends Pressing- $80
Turning Point- 1988-1991- Yellow- $50
Turnover- Peripheral Vision- Milky Clea Sea Blue- $50
Valium Aggelein- Silver in Clear-$50
Wavves- Afraid Of Heights- Purple-$70
Wavves- V- Purple- $50
Whirr- Around- Clear w Black Splater W/ Die Cut cover- $$35
Whirr- Distressor EP- Grey W/ Blue & White Splatter- $35
Whirr-Pipe Dreams Redux- Blue-$50
Whirr-Feels Like You- Purple Smoke $250
Yndi Halda- Enjoy Eternal Bliss- Random Color- $40

Long-time lurker; first time poster. I am in my early 70’s, formerly 5th generation all-in TBM, and have been PIMO for about three years. I have been married to my extremely TBM husband for over 50 years. We have many adult children >7, grandchildren >20, and several great-grandchildren. The whole family are all TBM (except 2 adult children and a couple of grandchildren), and most of us live fairly close to each other in the morridor. My husband was shocked and hurt when I told him that I didn’t believe anything in the church anymore about two years ago. He has experienced what he feels are profound spiritual experiences with the holy ghost in his life and doesn’t want to listen to any of my reasons for not believing. I understand that his whole life paradigm and after-life expectations have been shaken, and I have reassured him that I am still the same person with my same values of being a good person that I was before. I told him that I would still attend church meetings and go through the motions of being a good member of the church for his sake and for the sake of our marriage even though it is becoming more and more uncomfortable for me now.
Currently, my most pressing problem is that my grandchild is getting married in the temple this month, and I would like to attend the sealing, but my temple recommend expired a few months ago. Since I don’t believe anything in the church is true, I don’t really feel bad about not being entirely truthful during the temple recommend interviews. However, my husband is totally against it and suggested that he would out me to the bishop and stake president if I did that.
My dilemma is that since I won’t be attending the sealing of my grandchild, I feel like our whole family dynamic will change when everyone finds out that I don’t have a temple recommend because I don't believe in the church anymore. Our large family is close-knit and gets together often; but some of my children are uber TBM and can be quite judgmental, and I don’t know how to deal with the possible fallout at my age. Several years ago, when my child left the church with the kids, the rest of our family didn’t really shun them, but their relationship with them changed dramatically with a lot of criticism and talking behind their back. It would be extremely hurtful if they did that to me, but I know that I can’t control any of their reactions. My family has been my life for over 50 years, and I don’t want to change/lose my relationship with any of them. They are all wonderful people but deluded by the church in my opinion.
I am thinking that I probably should write an email to all of the adults in the family as soon as possible letting them know about my change in beliefs (without going into detail). I don’t want this bombshell to hit the family on my grandchild’s special day when it will be obvious that I am not in the temple with most of them. Because I really have no one that I can confide in (not even my exmo children for complicated reasons) and no money for therapy; I am turning to this awesome group for support, advice, and any suggestions that you might have for the content of the email that I need to send to my family--especially if you have been in my position. It’s been wonderful being part of this online community. You have already helped me a great deal during these past few years, and I really appreciate all of you!