Game: D&D 5e
Group type: Online
Experience: No experience necessary! New players welcome and encouraged!
Location/Time zone: GMT+1
Roles sought: Player (5 slots left as of posting)
Game style: Nice balance between roleplay, combat, exploration and puzzles. This helps new players get the full D&D experience in just 4 hours
Date/Time: 12 Noon and 7 pm every Wednesday! Seats are filling up quickly though so more dates may be made available
One-Shot Description
Are you new to D&D? Maybe just the 5e system? Well, this is the perfect place to start!
Deep within the forests of Oxrem rests a small and, until now, uneventful mining village named Eldoria. They provide a large amount of silver and copper for the realm. However, recently, they have found something much more. Perhaps something much worse. An underground temple from a time long ago, dedicated to a god that is even older. Historians and areologists have revelled at the chance to unearth the mysteries of this temple and have come in their dozens to study such a find. The locals are less than pleased. They say they are having nightmares, even when they are awake. The shadows have started to grow far too long. Maybe more than the temple was discovered. Something that was meant to be to be forgotten... That's where you come in. Tasked with being the first contact with this temple, to see what's really going on, the people of Eldoria are willing to pay a pretty penny.
Whether you are here for the adventure, the history or even just the coin, the people don't care so long as the job is done. This is a one-shot which over the course of 2-4 hours will showcase the main elements of D&D 5e. From roleplay to combat and everything in between this game is designed as a crash course for the system, while still providing the textbook fun D&D experience! With a DM who has taught over 20 people how to play the system and lots of patience and passion for teaching, this game is the perfect place for newbies to start! So grab a group or just join yourself! I can't wait to teach you this amazing game
About Me
Hey!
I adore Dungeons and Dragons 5e and have run games for over 7 years now. I have a passion for acting, writing and just in general creating. Over my many years playing the game I have only been a player a handful of times (I just love DMing that much) and thus have become somewhat of a veteran DM. Specifically, I have taught and helped over 20 new players how Dnd 5e works and have helped them find their way into and their place in the game. I feel everyone has a story to tell and I want to help them tell it! My aim as a DM is to guarantee a memorable and engaging adventure no matter the setting or events, while still letting my players take the reigns and make their own story. I invest hours into each session to make it just right for my players, because when I get to hear their laughter and excitement I know it was all worth it! I want to spread that excitement to as many people as possible (While still being able to pay rent) and watch them grow and evolve as players and maybe even people!
So why Paid Games?
I would love all my games to be free but I also need to keep my lights on! That being said there are some excellent benefits to hiring a professional DM:
The key word is professional!
As a Paid DM I will always show up, on time, and prepared
No last-minute cancellations (unless emergencies of course but there will be a reschedule)
I will be available to answer any questions at any time, just send me a message
If you join with a group, you and your friends don't have to worry about choosing a DM or being put on the spot as one. Just turn up and have fun!
If you are joining as an individual, the small fee will encourage people to turn up or give advanced notice for absences. That means no more no-shows!
You will have access to all my d&d beyond sourcebooks and extras (of which there are many) for no extra charge. I welcome experimentation so go nuts!
Balancing of games is guaranteed. This even includes any homebrew you think would be fun
Guarantee of detailed battle maps, dungeon maps, and world maps, made with professional software and available on Owlbear Rodeo VTT for no extra charge
A tailored experience just for you and your party!
A detailed custom homebrew world made (and still being made) for over 7 years, filled with lore, mysteries and deep, rich history
My standard price is $20 USD per player but the first 2 to sign up usually get 50% off. A trip to the cinema usually costs as much or more. A night out at the pub or the club with friends is definitely more. Instead, why not spend a little bit and get an unforgettable experience? My games usually run for 2-4 hours (But I tend to get excited and let them run on a bit if we're all having fun) so please consider grabbing your friends and checking this out!
So, You want in?
Check out the adventure at the link below
https://startplaying.games/adventure/cliiursiw000a08md8gfi2xmy
If you have any follow-up questions feel free to send me a message here, reply to this threat, or shoot me a discord message
Airborne#0483
Finally, if you wanna check out my past stuff. Have a look here!
https://linktr.ee/the\_kobold\_collective
I hope to see all of you aspiring adventurers soon!

Hello all! I am looking for some thoughts and advice with Zoloft. I started taking Sertraline a couple of months ago and have had issues with feeling weak and incredibly shaky. Before, I was on Lexapro and while I still had these issues, they seem quite a bit worse now. I also feel the need to urinate frequently and am consistently thirsty. I do like eating garbage, but I've always gotten a lot of exercise and have never been overweight. Does anyone have similar experience with Zoloft and the like? Every time I get a blood test they tell me my values are around normal and they seem more peeved at my questions.

Its clear the show has reached the point every show eventually reaches. The 2nd episode is much better ( though becoming a parody of itself at points )
Long time super-fan so my expectations weren't all that high since I know they all have other projects BUT , well .. they did hype this season up themselves so ill be the one who says it so you can tell me why I'm wrong etc( even though you likley feel the same on some level )

With the Diablo 4 Beta just around the corner, we have put together this Weekly reoccurring Clan Recruitment Megathread and also announce the launch of the new Diablo4Clans subreddit!
Stay awhile and listen to find clans to join in the fight against the Burning Hells and the evils that lurk within Sanctuary...
... and also join the official discord of the subreddit to meet more allies.
​
The purpose of this weekly reoccurring thread is:

• for Clans to advertise themselves here to new potential members
• for people to find the right Clan for them to join
• and to also provide a few Harm Reduction Guidelines for new players that can help avoid getting scammed when looking for a new clan

​
Clan Recruitment Thread Rules
If you want to advertise your Clan in this weekly reoccurring thread,

• fill out the form below and submit it as a comment with the required information about your Clan and post it in this thread.
• You are welcome to add your own fluff/flair to the form to make it more personal, but please stick to the list below.
• ONLY ONE COMMENT PER CLAN PER WEEKLY THREAD.
• Comments that do not include this form will be removed.
• Potential clan members are welcome to respond to your top level comment and you’re welcome to answer from their response.

===================================

Clan Recruitment Form

• Clan Name:
• Clan Description (give us at least two sentences describing your clan):
• Clan Discord (only use the shortened .gg link):
• How members can sign up:
• Why you should join (Give us at least 1 paragraph):

Please note that making Clan Recruitment is only allowed in this weekly reoccurring thread, so that the subreddit and peoples feeds do not get flooded with threads that advertise clans.
However, on the new Diablo4Clans subreddit Clans can be advertised via new threads.

===================================

Harm Reduction Guidelines
How to spot shady Clans and Practices
This section here is intended as a “Harm Reduction FAQ” with a few guidelines on how to spot shady Clans and Practices to avoid getting scammed.
A List of Shady Practices that one may encounters in dubious Clans

• The offering of a services/items/geaetc. in exchange for real monetary / payment is a major red flag.
• Paying for Level Boosts and other services that promise quick progression in exchange for payment - legitimate clans don’t charge for helping their clan members level up.
• Paying for a specific Legendary Item, especially when asked to pay for Legendries that did not already dropped or that dropped while you where not there – Legendries can only be traded in-game for the first 2 hours after they dropped and only with those players that were in the group when the Legendary dropped.
• Being asked or pressured into sharing your Blizzard Account Password, even when the request seemingly comes from an Official Blizzard Account or Employee. Blizzard Employees will never ask for your password.
• (Being groomed or pressured into) paying for a Higher Status or Position within the group / clan, (e.g. like being Moderator of the Clans discord, Facebook group, Lieutenant of a Clan, etc.) and/or having to pay for keeping that status / position.

​
Scams and Shady Practices to be aware of in General

• Everything that requires sharing of personal information, especially credit card numbers, or social security numbers (even if something is offered in return "for free")
• Advertisements for buying T-Shirts, Mugs, etc related to various franchises (not just Diablo), from ads that may pop up, either in the in-game Chat, discord or even reddit, These are scams designed to get your Credit Card Information. ( link to reddit thread that explains the scam <--)
• Suspicious links and downloads from there, as some downloads may include malware

If something like this occurs, especially if your are being pressured into doing one of these things (even if the person is appearing as a Blizzard Employee or portrays himself to be a Federal Official), it is best to just leave and to not argue, as scammers will likely just continue to pressure or trick you.
​
Furthermore, consider enabling the two-factor authentication via the Battle.net Authenticator, as it also is a good additional protection for your Blizzard Account ( Link to Blizzard's Battle.net Authenticator <--)

So context: My ex gf broke up with me 3 months ago due to her not being mentally healthy enough to be in a relationship as she said, however she said she wanted me to still be her friend and since i still loved her, i told her I'd still be there for her.
During the last 3 months we have been messaging each other pretty much on a daily basis. We'd play games online together and watch youtube videos together through an app that synced our youtube videos together. She has very bad anxiety and doesn't have many friends. She doesn't want to take any meds to improve her mental health and doesn't want to see a therapist because shes scared of pills and claims that "shes not afraid to be afraid" She only goes out with her little cousins or grandparents at this point and is not keen on going out.
Recently i proposed that we should hang out offline were i suggested that we could go to a park or something like that. She was a little hesitant but said that she did want to meet up at some point. This was 3 weeks ago and every time i would present a new day to meet up for she always cancels last day and we need to plan again.
This has been really hitting for my mental health. I don't want to give up on this because i still love her and i miss her. I bought her a t-shirt from her favourite band and i told her that if she didn't want to meet up i could send her the shirt by mail. Today the shirt arrived and she told me i can keep it and i told her that i didn't want it and that it is a gift from me. I know this is going to sound naive but i know that out of her friends, she speaks to me the most and I'd probably consider myself her closest friend the now.
This whole story sounds like im in denial and idk i could very well be. Its hard for me to do anything productive anymore and i just sit in misery in my bedroom and thats all i do other than work. I recently had to increase my anti dep doses because of this.
I don't know why im posting all of this. I don't know if any advice could help because it will probably be people telling me to limit or cut contact with her but i can't, shes too important to me and im one of the only people left that can help her and i miss her so much.

We are a large 60-person orchestra looking to replace our rehearsal/concert lights. We know classical music, not lights.
For the last 25 years we have used two super-hot halogen lights on high stands, enclosed in diffusers (the entire set-up was repurposed photography studio lighting). These have now come to the end of their life. The stands keep breaking in ways that we can no longer fix them, and the lights are so hot that they are dangerous.
What to replace them? Initial research has proven confusing. It seems as if the world now uses LEDs. We did rent some for a trial rehearsal, but found that without diffusers they only cast harsh shadows on the sheet music, which is worse than no lights at all. Recommendations from non-knowledgeable people have been way above our Cdn $3,000 budget.
How does an amateur violinist even begin to replace something that we have simply assumed for the last 25 years? Truly thanks for any insights that you can share.

Hey all,
Me (27F) and my BF (29M) have been together for 5 years and live together. He likes to go out sometimes still (around once a month on average, but sometimes a little more often), while I don't really do that anymore.
When he goes out, I have a lot of trouble sleeping. It's not because I miss him, but just because I know he will come in when I'm sleeping causes me being unable to fall asleep at all. So when he comes home at 4:00 am, that means I can't sleep until 4:00 am either.
I know that he can't really help that but it's still something that happens to me because of his actions. He's saying this is not something I can ask of them and that he may decide for himself at what times he comes home. I'm just thinking why can't he just come home at say 3:00 am at the latest, he'll still have plenty of time with his friends. I try convincing him of this especially since I'm having a lot of stress at work and am already not sleeping great, but he's not agreeing with me and saying he finds it very important that he can just do this in a relationship.
What do you guys think? How do I convince my bf that this is important to me and get my sleep back?
lt;dr: bf wants to come home as late as he likes. I want us to agree on a max time for him to come home when he goes out.

So I decided to sell my original dress as I realized it's not actually what I want. I'm not really looking for advice (though I'm open), I'm posting this for people who might be looking to sell theirs and what to look out for. I was stupid for letting it go as far as it did but I at least didn't give this asshole any money.
I posted on two places, Stillwhite.com (used bridal dress site) and FB marketplace. Scammer came from marketplace.

1. First red flag, their account profile picture was of animals and no people. Their profile was pretty sparse as well, only about 60 friends and many didn't have real photos. Now granted not everyone has a thousand friends, I certainly don't. But having a low number and most having profile pictures of animals or cartoon characters is something to look out for.
   
2. The scammer didn't message me from the marketplace posting itself. If you haven't used FB marketplace, typically you message the seller directly from their listing. This guy private messaged me on Facebook instead. I didn't catch it initially because it was late and I was about to go to bed when they messaged, but when I woke up the following morning I realized it. So just as a note, definitely wait on responding if you're tired. I also didn't realize it initially but they enabled end to end encryption on FB messages. This means that third parties (including Facebook itself supposedly) can't read the messages which makes reporting conversations difficult. That being said, I did take screenshots)
   
3. They didn't offer to haggle. I priced my dress a bit high because generally people haggle off of the listed price. For something that high of price, I should have really been more suspicious that they were fine with the listed price.
   
4. This one's exclusively on me, but the seller was a guy and I just assumed that they were interested in the dress for themselves or were going to get it for someone. Don't assume. Ask about why they want it.
   
5. PayPal email didn't match their FB name. Again, I assumed it might be a nickname. Really this should have been the part where I dipped, but again, I'm stupid.
   
6. They asked me to change my PayPal invoice to a Request. Only use Requests with friends and family, and even then only those who you absolutely trust. Invoices have a lot more protections for the seller, and it's harder for "customers" to dispute the charges. I did cancel the invoice, sent out the request, finally allowed myself to say it was too sketchy and cancelled the request too.
   

This guy claimed they sent the money (they didn't, PayPal showed nothing) and that because my account wasn't a "business account" that they had to pay $350 more. If you're not familiar, this is a type of scam known as an overfund, or refund scam. Wikipedia page on it herehere. Sometimes they do actually send a fake check or deposit actual money. The scheme works by putting more money in and then getting the victim to pay it back including the difference. I told the guy that it was cancelled and if any funds were sent (they weren't) they would be sent back
I should have blocked the guy at this point but he tried to argue with me that what he sent was non refundable (not how that works). That they'd had to pay the $350 fee before (not a thing), that they'd call the FBI on me (pretty sure they wouldn't care). They also tried calling me on messenger to which I didn't respond and I blocked them. They sent a couple fake "your(sic) in trouble with PayPal" emails that were from a [email protected] account which I reported to PayPal's actual phishing department. For the record, all communications from PayPal will have a PayPal.com address.
So if you're not a morning person and it's before you had your daily dose of caffeine, wait a bit on responding to potential buyers. If something feels wrong, you can back out at any time. These guys are manipulative and will try to guilt you into ignoring your gut feelings or try to make you feel like a bad person for not falling for their bullshit.
I hate that this guy has my email but I did message PayPal support so hopefully I should at least be protected in that regard. The guy asked for my home address to pick up and thankfully I gave them the address of a local coffee shop instead.
I've been kicking myself about it but I hope y'all can learn from my mistakes at least. Stay safe out there

Where is your domicile?
Husband finished lineman school in 2015 Has been working as a power line clearance tree trimmer for 6 years became a Forman and instructor through the JACT (on the tree side) and he’s ready to apply to become a traveling lineman this January. I am researching into this transition because goal is to be in an trailer around September to be all moved and adjusted.
Since we will be losing our address and don’t have anyone in WA state to maintain our mail it seems becoming a South Dakota resident is the next best step for us. I am just curious if any other working folk full time on the road who used a mail forwarding service, their experience, creating a domicile, how it affected there insurance (car insurance, trailer insurance ) if we buy a trailer in WA should be register it in South Dakota since we’ll be doing that anyways? I am just wanting to know as much about the process as I can. A lot of the advice I read is about folks who are retired, since we won’t be does that change the circumstances comparatively speaking? Do we need to create a form of home in South Dakota (dentist and doctors there?) Do we need to have intent to actually live in South Dakota before doing this? (His work will send us to Cali, WA, And OR. South Dakota just makes it the easiest to do road living as the west coast doesn’t cater very well. Thanks for all insight, we can’t wait for this journey!

I resonate with autism symptoms and experiences, it’s been that way since I started researching autism last summer. However, there are 2 things that kind of worry me.
Firstly, I don’t think I really have a special interest. Technically I do (sharks) but I find myself getting tired of it after a few days. Although, I would argue that it still excites me the same amount even when I’m burned out from it. I also think autism in itself could be a special interest of mine because it doesn’t burn out as often as my interest in sharks.
Secondly, my mom says she doesn’t remember any autistic traits in me when I was younger except one, she said that I didn’t do imaginary play usually. I do know that I was a toe walker until kindergarten (went away after forcing myself to walk normally). I also remember playing with my toys in the same and specific way each time. I would take a farm set I had and organize the animals in their pens over and over. I also know that in third grade I carried around a stuffed bunny every day because it was my comfort and that I didn’t have any friends until my teacher forced me to talk to people. I remember sitting by myself in the playground and my teacher coming up to me to talk because she thought I was depressed and I wouldn’t shut up about American girl dolls.
Obviously those all sound like autistic experiences but I took the list of symptoms in young children from the cdc and read it to my mom and she said no to almost all of them so I’m kinda confused. She admitted to me that she sort of neglected me for the first few years of my life so that may be why she doesn’t remember seeing any of these things but I can’t tell that to the assessor I’ll be seeing about that before they talk with my mom since saying your own mom neglected you is a bit worrying.
So basically I’m really scared that when I do my assessment that because of these things, I won’t be diagnosed and I’ve just been convincing myself. Does anyone have any input of if my worries are valid?

My email has always be my name.co.uk and now it’s changed to aol.com, that’s really weird for me I only noticed when I contacted a service provider and they said my email does not match what they have on record and I looked at my sent and noticed my email is now aol.com. Anyone know what happened or have experienced the same?

I know this is a complaint as old as vault 88, but I’ve done vault 88 before, it took me probably a good 13 hours to get it done, but a good 3 hours of that was spent trying to figure out how to use the vaults power. Now I’m redoing it and despite me having done it before, it took me a little over an hour to figure it out again. Why not just put a damn miscellaneous objective to place one or a prompt or fuckin something son? A tutorial mission? Or at the very least put it with other vault shit, idk? Its a conduit and it’s not even with the other conduits like come on now, instead it’s almost at the end of connectors and switches just hidden. It’s such a great way of using power, but such a shit way of explaining it. That is all.

Hey guys, me (22f) and my boyfriend (27m) have been dating for about 4 months now. He’s a really nice guy and would do anything for me. He always follows through with plans (even though he lives about 35 minutes away) and there’s no red flags in terms of cheating or being sneaky. But I just can’t shake a couple things that have happened. When we first met through a dating app he told me he bought his home off of his mom as she was living with her boyfriend. He told me she would come over here and there and have dinner with him and I thought that was nice. After about a month of us dating I found out that was not the case at all. He does not own the home and his mom does not live with her boyfriend. Anyways I was willing to look past that as we had a conversation and he explained he was embarrassed that I live on my own but he doesn’t. He comes over to my house regularly (2-3 nights during the week and he’ll stay over one night on the weekend.)I usually make dinner and he’ll help clean up. Typically he’ll ask me what I have in my fridge or freezer, we’ll decide what to make and then go to the grocery store for the remainder of the ingredients. Sometimes he’ll pay for these ingredients but I find myself paying for them a fair amount as well, on top of using stuff I’ve already purchased that’s at home.
We had planned a date but I forgot I had an appointment so I offered for him to just hangout at my place and wait for me. When I got home he told me he had a couple rum drinks (he had a bottle of rum at my place) and I didn’t think anything of it. When I had my friends over a week later I went to grab my coolers and they were gone. When I texted him to say hey I just went to grab some of my drinks and they’re gone and that I was annoyed all he said was “are you mad at me.” I told him yes and it would’ve been nice if he let me know (or even replaced them, but I didn’t say that.) he said he did let me know when he told me he had a couple rum drinks. In my opinion a rum drink would be a mixed drink with his own alcohol that he had, not one of my watermelon mojito coolers.
Another time I had made myself a pizza before he came over for the night. When he got to my place I mentioned how the pizza was for my lunch the next few days. When I got to work I noticed some pizza missing from the container but just figured I had grabbed the wrong container that I had put less in. The next day I asked if he would be able to come over because I had a maintenance person coming and I needed someone to let him in, I was desperate as my other plans fell through. I told him I would buy him dinner for driving here and doing that for me. He was at my place for an hour alone and then we went and grabbed dinner. Well when I went to work and grabbed the other container for my lunch the next day it was also missing some pieces. When I brought it up he said he ate it and didn’t realize I was taking the one container for lunch however he ate pizza out of both containers. I said “I wouldn’t mind that you ate it if you asked. can you please ask me as I have certain things planned for lunch, now I have to go out and buy food.” again all he said was “are you mad” and “sorry”, end of conversation. It irritates me that he was up throughout the night and when I wasn’t home eating the food I told him was for my lunch and didn’t even have the decency to tell me he ate it so I could pack something else to eat.
We had went out for dinner and he paid and said it was for my birthday. I thought that was really nice and didn’t expect anything else. He told me he had bought me a gift online. I told him he didn’t have to do that, he already took me out for dinner, but he insisted and said he already bought it. I went away for a week on vacation during my birthday and he said he would give it to me when I got back. We hung out the day I got back and he never gave me the gift like he said he would. I wasn’t feeling very well so I figured maybe that was the reason why or he just forgot it. Many hangouts and many weeks went by and still nothing. I decided to bring it up. I let him know I didn’t need or expect anything but asked why he told me he had a gift and was saying he was excited to give it to me if he didn’t actually have anything. He told me he just keeps forgetting and he does have something for me. The next time he came over he texted me on the way and said he forgot it again. We’ve hung out many times since then and still nothing.
My question is what do you guys think of this? I’m only 22 and I live on my own and pay for everything on my own. Is it selfish that I’m getting frustrated that he’s been eating and drinking my food? Are these situations red flags? Am I being over dramatic?? I want to have a conversation with him but I don’t even know what to say. Please let me know what you think

I've been wanting to put a nickname in a few of my soon to be created characters but I'm conflicted on which way to present it so other players know that it's a nickname and not a 2nd/middle/or surname.
Usually if one wants to display a nickname it would be like so; Jane "Angel" Doe or Jane 'Angel' Doe However due to naming restrictions I cannot put a double quotation or double apostrophe in a name.
I'm stuck with presenting a nickname in one of three ways; Jane 'angel Doe / Jane Angel Doe / Jane angel Doe
Doe being the legacy name added afterwards and Jane + nickname being in the character name.
My concern is that when players see my name displayed in anyway other than the nameplate over my character it only shows the "Jane Angel" which could be interpreted as first+last name Now if the nickname is something like: Aftermath or Blackjack writing it this way is fine but any nickname that could also be a normal name: Deacon, Jackal, Butcher could cause misinterpretation.
Ex. Jane Butcher / Jane Aftermath
This is the reason why I'm posting here, I would like your opinions on which out of the three ways would you assume the 2nd name was a nickname if you were to see it in-game. Should I only use obvious nicknames? Or maybe you know a better way to display nicknames.
[Title]---[Name/Nickname]---[Legacy Name]---[Name w/o Nameplate]
Without Obvious Nickname
Sergeant Jane 'angel Doe // Jane 'angel
Sergeant Jane Angel Doe // Jane Angel
Sergeant Jane angel Doe // Jane angel
With Obvious Nickname
Sergeant Jane 'lockdown Doe // Jane 'lockdown
Sergeant Jane Lockdown Doe // Jane Lockdown
Sergeant Jane lockdown Doe // Jane lockdown

Starting 11 minutes into Locked On Pelicans with Pelicans insider, credentialed member of the media Jake Madison.

Based on my conversations with people with the team, there are times when they feel very fed up with Zion. Not enough to necessarily want to trade Zion Williamson away or actively start to do that. Again, they’re really trying to appease him with a big deal shake up or the training staff, but it’s in their minds in some capacity. And you know, they’ve worked through some trade scenarios or what the return for him would be.
We’ve heard some rumors of does he want to be here or not. He said all of the right things. Actions have been a little bit different at times. He doesn’t really spend a lot of time around the team in the offseason doing offseason workouts. He doesn’t necessarily need to, but you’d certainly like it.
I think the Pelicans absolutely love Scoot Henderson, really think Scoot is going to be a star and would also like to be in the Scoot business.

So, I was wondering if anybody else has acquired/progressive SDAM? And also, how does your time perception works with this condition?
I'll share my story: I (24M) graduated HS at 16, a year when I felt something was off with time/memory, but couldn't specify what was happening in my life. At my first uni year (2016), when I was 17, I realized I was progressively losing my episodic/autobiographical memory, and I also felt time was speeding up, but severely, and not just in the regular "time speeds up with age" fashion. It didn't seem to affect my semantic memory though.
I tried visiting several professionals: neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists. They performed an ECG and a MRI or CT Scan (I'm not sure). They all insisted that my brain was perfectly fine, and it was some sort of anxiety/depression/psychosis. I took antidepressants and antipsychotics. Sincerely, this condition generated a bunch of anxiety, but I didn't feel properly depressed or losing touch with reality.
Eventually I stopped worrying and sort of accepted that life would be like this from now on. But hoped it wouldn't get worse. I lived the last 7 years dismissing all thoughts about how my memory or time perception weren't normal. And I quit the meds and experienced a somewhat normal life, sometimes happy, sometimes sad. Well, now it has gotten worse.
Well, the thing is that when I was 17 I still had a memory of how memory and time perception should be. Now I don't. I know some things because I wrote them down. But I would estimate 2 hours felt like 10 minutes. Now it's more like 1 second. At the end of the day, the whole day feels like 1 second in 2 or 3 blurry/foggy flashes which is all I can somewhat recall.
The last straw for me to decide to search about this condition again and not shut down my thoughts was completely losing memories of how feelings we like. Feeling sad, feeling angry, feeling in love are just merely descriptive words with no intrinsic meaning to me. I feel somewhat anxious. All other feelings I can't remember.
This was not sudden, I had some memory of feelings in the last years, but it has progressively diminished to the point of vanishing. I started questioning my personality, my identity, my decisions etc.
So finally I found out about SDAM (it wasn't that easy finding about it online in 2016) and it all clicked. The symptoms were so much like everything I experienced. The only difference is mine wasn't lifelong. However, there is no optimism as there is no know treatment.
If this condition in was stable in me, I could just cope with having SDAM. But it seems it has not yet reached full-blackout-past. So I question whether I shoukd quit my current life and try to have more intense hedonistic experiences (trips, drugs, sex etc) while I still have a very deficient and foggy memory. Or keep following my long term plans, working, studying, saving etc? What is the point? At this current rate, by 30 all past will be black and there will be absolutely no reason for any trip whatsoever (there barely is now).
Also, I live in a 3rd world country and contrary to 7 years ago, I have no more insurance and access to good healthcare. So things look quite bleak. Not that if I had insurance again things could change. It's sort of bad. My only solace is that I feel like if I die of old age, it will be in half an hour from now. But a bad half hour. I do not dream anymore, and in my childhood/adolescence I had vivid dreams and nightmares. My life has befome a nightmare which you barely remember after waking up, but that still leaves you with anguished.

Me and my friends have seen each other naked. i don’t think it was in a gay way but idk. i have jerked off while my friend was watching but idk if that makes me fully gay. i don’t think i would date a guy. does anyone else have experience with this and are you straight or gay?

https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/june-7-2023
Three more candidates have entered the race for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination this week. Former vice president Mike Pence, former New Jersey governor Chris Christie, and current North Dakota governor Doug Burgum join former South Carolina governor and Trump’s ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley, South Carolina senator Tim Scott, Florida governor Ron DeSantis, former Arkansas governor Asa Hutchinson, as well as a few others and former president Donald Trump in their hope of winning the nomination.
Taken together, the different candidates offer a window into the current Republican Party. Haley and DeSantis are embracing the cultural issues to which the Trump base is wedded. At a CNN town hall on Sunday, Haley singled out transgender girls as one of her key issues, linking (without any evidence) their presence on girls’ sports teams to an April study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that showed a rise in the number of teenaged girls contemplating self-harm between 2019 and 2021, years that covered the height of the pandemic. (In fact, LGBTQ teenagers have a higher rate of thoughts of self-harm than their straight, gender-conforming peers.)
DeSantis has reached for the Trump base by focusing on immigration. That focus has backfired as unlawful border crossings have dropped more than 70% since President Biden’s ending of the pandemic-related Title 42, and as a new Florida law designed to “scare people from coming to Florida” has resulted in immigrants, whose labor is vital to the state, leaving it.
Apparently trying to reclaim the narrative, in the last week, DeSantis has sent two charter flights taking migrants who have legally applied for asylum in the U.S. from the Texas border to Sacramento, California. While the DeSantis administration claims the migrants went “voluntarily,” they say they were tricked into thinking they would get work in California. One set of the migrants were dropped off outside the Catholic Archdiocese of Sacramento, which had not been alerted they were coming and was closed.
Pence, Hutchinson, and Christie are directly attacking Trump, Pence by saying the events of January 6, 2021, make Trump unfit to be president, Hutchinson by saying Trump should withdraw because of the criminal charges he’s facing, and Christie by attacking Trump and his family as grifters. At Saint Anselm College in New Hampshire yesterday, Christie reminded the audience: “Jared Kushner and Ivanka Kushner walk out of the White House and months later get $2 billion from the Saudis…. You think it’s because he’s some kind of investing genius? Or do you think it’s because he was sitting next to the President of the United States for four years doing favors for the Saudis?... That’s your money he stole and gave it to his family. You know what that makes us? A banana republic.”
Scott and Burgum seem to be trying to offer exhausted Republican voters a rest. Scott is trying to offer an optimistic vision of the United States amidst the apocalyptic narratives of his rivals, denying that systematic racism is a societal problem, for example, while Burgum’s chief attribute seems to be an embrace of pre-2016 Republicanism and a low-key presentation.
That scrum of Republican hopefuls—none of whom is polling well—is the backdrop to this evening’s story from Andrew Feinberg of the Independent that prosecutors from the Department of Justice are ready to ask a grand jury in Washington, D.C., to indict former president Trump on charges that he has violated the Espionage Act and obstructed justice.
Aside from anything else, the Espionage Act includes language that anyone who “willfully retains…any document, writing, code book, signal book, sketch, photograph, photographic negative, blueprint, plan, map, model, instrument, appliance, or note relating to the national defense, or information relating to the national defense which information the possessor has reason to believe could be used to the injury of the United States or to the advantage of any foreign nation… and fails to deliver it on demand to the officer or employee of the United States entitled to receive it” can be punished by as many as ten years in prison.
The story says the jury could vote as early as tomorrow, but it could also be delayed until next week, or beyond. It is worth remembering that this Department of Justice has not been known to leak, and that the sooner Trump is indicted—which certainly looks likely, at least in the case of the missing documents—the sooner his supporters can jump to another candidate, which might suggest a rival camp pushing the story that an indictment will come soon. That same calculation might have been part of what was behind Trump’s insistence to New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman that he has “NOT been told he’s getting indicted.” And, he added on Truth Social, “I shouldn’t be because I’ve done NOTHING wrong.”
Troubles in the Republican Party are not limited to the 2024 hopefuls. House Republicans continue to fight against House speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA), angry over the budget deal under which he pushed through a measure to suspend the debt ceiling. McCarthy tried to head off their protests with a promise to establish a commission to cut Social Security and Medicare, but it was not enough. Yesterday, members of the House Freedom Caucus said they would not permit votes on anything until he put in writing what they believed was the deal he made to get their votes for the speakership; that revolt continued today.
Tonight, Jake Sherman of Punchbowl News reported that McCarthy appears to have agreed to let appropriators write bills that come in below the agreed-upon spending levels. Sherman’s colleague John Bresnahan noted: “The Fiscal Responsibility Act isn’t even a week old & Republicans in the House and Senate are already trying to redo it.”
In other news, CNN has parted ways with Chris Licht, its chief executive officer and chair, who had sought to move the network to what he considered the center of American politics. He had done so by highlighting “both sides” of today’s political arguments, firing leading journalists he thought too far on the left and centering Trump in a town hall that became the former president’s triumphant reentry to the political stage as he lied and bullied the interviewer. Some pundits have taken Licht’s fall as a sign that there is no longer a powerful center in American politics, but my own guess is the opposite: that most of us want news based in reality rather than media giving platforms to people who are openly lying.
Yale scholar of authoritarianism Timothy Snyder today applied this idea to coverage of the destruction of the Nova Kakhovka Dam in Ukraine, which has rained down humanitarian, ecological, and economic disaster on Ukrainians as they appear to be launching a counteroffensive to the Russian invasion of their country.
Snyder warned journalists not to “bothsides” the story by offering equal time to both sides. “What Russian spokespersons have said has almost always been untrue, whereas what Ukrainian spokespersons have said has largely been reliable. The juxtaposition suggests a false equality,” he wrote. “The story doesn't start at the moment the dam explodes. For the last fifteen months Russia has been killing Ukrainian civilians and destroying Ukrainian civilian infrastructure, whereas Ukraine has been trying to protect its people and the structures that keep them alive.” “Objectivity does not mean treating an event as a coin flip between two public statements,” he said. “It demands thinking about the objects and the settings that readers require for understanding amidst uncertainty.”
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Notes:
https://www.cnn.com/2023/06/05/politics/nikki-haley-transgender-girls-teen-suicide/index.html
https://abcnews.go.com/Health/us-teen-girls-considered-attempting-suicide-2021-cdc/story?id=98901688
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/07/us/politics/pence-trump-2024-announcement.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/05/us/migrants-plane-sacramento-california.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/06/us/politics/desantis-florida-migrant-flights.html
https://www.businessinsider.com/florida-gop-lawmaker-urges-immigrants-stay-voted-anti-immigration-bill-2023-6
https://www.vox.com/politics/2023/6/6/23751345/tim-scott-view-race-systemic-racism-2024
https://www.vox.com/politics/2023/2/23/23611828/2024-republican-presidential-candidates-trump-christie-burgum
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/793
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-indictment-espionage-prosecution-charges-b2353397.html
https://www.inforum.com/news/north-dakota/doug-burgum-is-mulling-a-run-for-president-could-he-be-a-contender-in-a-party-that-loves-trump
https://www.cnn.com/2023/06/07/media/chris-licht-cnn/index.html
https://newrepublic.com/post/173247/florida-republicans-admit-made-big-mistake-anti-immigrant-law
https://apnews.com/article/migrants-dropped-off-california-texas-florida-2ea4ea9cc6e976e97358c64bcae164f4
https://www.newsweek.com/ron-desantis-approval-rating-2024-polls-1805073
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