First off this is gonna be a little long, it’s kind of my way venting…
I’m 19(M) and I’ve reached the breaking point of pretending to be fine being alone
Ever since middle school I rarely talked to friends outside of school. I would maybe sometimes play some basketball with people but they weren’t necessarily looking to hang out with me. Same thing happened in high school. And y’all know that adult saying “your not gonna be talking to all those friends after high school, but you’ll have a couple real friends”. Well I ain’t have any.
But for a good amount of time I was having that mindset of “I don’t need anybody else, I’m chillin alone, working out, and getting money”. I was starting to gain muscle, was dressing up better, and my confidence was at an all time high. I legit ain’t give af in a good way, I was truly at peace.
Well I have no real friends, the one person I do talk to(We’ve known each other since we were little because of our moms) always makes excuses when I try to hang out. And just yesterday he said he was going to the lake and I was like “that’s great, maybe I’ll try to go” and he said he would lmk which lake. So today I called and I said “yo Watcha doin” and he said he was going to the lake and I asked which one and he said “idk” so at point I was a really bummed out, and tbh a little pissed off. I really wanted to hang out with him because he’s moving to the other side of the country so I was trying to have that last hoorah.
I got pissed off to the point that I’m thinking about cutting him off because he’s never really invited me anywhere, I’ve even once told him that if he’s ever hanging out with his other friends that it would be awesome if he invited me, because than I could make more friends. But everytime I ask if he wants to hang out he says “ahh nah sorry man, imma be hanging out with some other people”. So I’m just thinking in my head “well damn I can’t hang out with y’all”
Ok now is the thing that really f*cked me up
Just a month ago I met a girl online and we started hanging out on a couple of dates. And it was my first time going on a date so I was really nervous. The first two dates went well, we even cuddled on the 2nd one at the movies. She was even sending me snaps without me having to initiate the convo. So I felt good.
But than we had the 3rd date and I asked if she wanted to watch the sunset, and tbh I fucked up with that decision because I suck at talking a lot, and that requires a lot of talking. And I didn’t make a move because I didn’t want it to feel forced. So the next day I asked if he wanted to hang out and she said she’s busy the rest of the week and she would let me know at the end of the week. Now I wasn’t mad at her for saying she’s busy, but it was just because of how the 3rd date ended. So those next couple days I just couldn’t sleep because the whole time I was thinking “what did I do wrong? Did I seem like a creep? I shoulda just made a move”. The days went so slow. I stopped going to the gym, I lost 10 lbs because I wasn’t eating. I wasn’t eating, and I couldn’t think straight when I was at work.
So than came Sunday and she texted me saying she was able to hang out, so I was thinking “SWEET”. So I set up the date and we were gonna go Tuesday. So the whole time before I was still a little nervous but I promised myself that I was gonna make a move. Than came the next day and she sent me a snap, now don’t think I’m weird for saying this… but she sent me a pic of her wearing a swimsuit. So I was thinking “holy sh*t she’s definitely interested”.
So the next I picked her up and we just went for a quick bite at some ice cream place. But man the date was a little awkward. I ruined it because the whole time I was thinking about making a move so there would be moments of silence. We were maybe at the ice cream place for like 15 min. Than we left and I finally decided to make a move in the car and we held hands. Than that feeling of peace finally came back and the the pain in my chest went away. We were even singing “Don’t go breaking my heart” my Elton John together 😅. Than we got to her house and I gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead. Than I left and she sent me a “:)” text and man was I hyped up. I was yelling in the car like Ric Flair yelling “WOOOOO”. So I’m just thinking that I’m about to have the most fun summer ever.
Than the next day came and I asked if she wanted to hang out on the weekend, she didn’t respond right away. But than during the night time I was just having a normal convo with my dad and than I got a notification saying “____ is typing” so I was thinking “YAY she’s texting” but than 20 seconds went by and I was like “oh no she’s still typing🫤”. And she said that it wasn’t gonna work out and that she’s not ready for something serious and that deserve somebody that puts the same amount of effort, and that I’m super sweet and that I did nothing wrong. She also said that she was gonna be busy with family and friends. And I quickly agreed with her, because I didn’t want to beg for her to hang out. But it was still tough. And after that text I just left home and started balling my eyes out. I cried like an infant, and I don’t think I’ve ever cried like that before.
Ever since that day I’ve been feeling so alone. And it sucks because I experienced for the first time that somebody was actually interested in hanging with me. And holding her hand made me the happiest guy on earth, but just a day later and I was the saddest guy on earth.
I just wish I could rewind so than we could just become friends. Because tbh, I’m not looking for just a girlfriend, I rather just find a really good friend. And I feel like that was the best opportunity to make one without having to force it. And I sometimes wish that I never met her because I woulda been vibin if we didn’t meet.
So yea that’s pretty much it… I wish I could find that peace of being alone. But it doesn’t feel peaceful anymore, it straight up feels lonely.

Posted in another sub and it got removed.
My (28m) best friend (28f) has got me at the end of my rope, and I didn’t know what to do but give her an ultimatum.
We live fairly close to each other and are pretty big presences in each other’s lives. The problem recently has been her alcohol consumption, and I feel like it’s ruining our friendship.
Recently, she had a serious mental health issue that needs regular medication and therapy. The initial diagnosis was expensive, and took out most of her savings and she needed to rely on us for support, both financially and emotionally.
She has been told repeatedly that she should not drink with her medication, as it can weaken or counteract the effects. However, she has not stopped, and occasionally my partner and I have had to help her get home or take her to her psychiatrist when her medicine no longer managed her symptoms because of the alcohol.
Making it worse is the financial effects of both the condition and her drinking. She struggles to afford the therapist and medicine. After discussing it with my partner, we decided to support her with the medical bills (I can afford to as I have a well paying job and my parents are quite well off and left me with significant savings). However, even with us supporting her, she often struggles to make ends meet, despite having money for alcohol daily.
Two months ago, my partner and I sat down with her and suggested she may need help with her alcohol consumption. We tried to be as unbiased and open as possible, and after some initial resistance she said she would like support to overcome it. We gave her resources and people to contact to support her, and offered to pay any costs that came up.
We thought it would be a positive step, but over the next few weeks things degraded. She simply tried hiding her drinking from us, didn’t contact any of the resources we gave her, and didn’t tell her therapist either.
The straw that broke the camel’s back came when she forgot her wallet after drinking and couldn’t attend a dance class she wanted to go to. She called me, very clearly drunk, and asked me to come and give her the funds to get to class. I said I couldn’t, because I was about to take a family call, and she told me to go fuck myself and that I was a shitty friend.
i called her the next day and told her I couldn’t handle the emotional and financial stress of supporting her to be treated this way. I said she needed to decide to either make a real effort to kick the alcohol, or I would be cutting her out of my life. She asked if we could discuss it in person, and I agreed.
The in person discussion was me talking to her and three of her friends. The four of them proceeded to call me a massive jerk for multiple reasons. I was not her parents and had no right to control her life. It was cruel of me to threaten her financial security and access to mental health care, especially as it was “not even my money.” I left without raising the issue as it was basically shouted down whenever I tried to raise it.
Following all of that, I got messages and photos from her friends in a nightclub, with my best friend sitting at a table. The accompanying messages said “she’s not drinking, we made sure for you since you’re her mum.” Over the next few days I’ve received similar messages with her at social gatherings from her friends, and it’s really starting to get under my skin.
How do I maintain support or have a constructive conversation to move forward from this? Is this just a sign I should cut things off?
Tldr: I feel like my friend has a problem with alcohol, it’s negatively affecting our relationship. After some rough times I gave her an ultimatum, but it’s just pushed her into getting people to back her up and attack me, without breaking the ultimatum, to get me to see some perspective.

A few months ago I met her. We started texting and got really attached to each other. we eventually decided to meet in person for the first time at my swim meet. after all my events were over, we talked for a while and did a bunch of other stuff. Before she left, she gave me a hug. Not like the friend kind of hug, but the "I wanna kiss you but I'm not ready yet" hug. We started texting each other after talking about how much fun we had that day, and started to talk about plans for a first date. the next day, (Saturday) we texted each other literally all day. I started calling her "wifey", a nickname that would stick. we were basically flirting literally all day. then out of nowhere late at night she started to feel sad. over text she told me she was crying on the bathroom floor. I tried to comfort her, and it seemed to be working a little, albeit not that much. After a while of trying to make her feel better, I told her that I loved her. Looking back that was very stupid, but through some sort of miracle she said it back. I couldn't believe it. only after about a week of talking we were already saying I love you to each other. After some more flirting and saying I love you, I told her i was going to bed she texted me goodnight and called me cutie, a nickname that would stick as well. The next day I woke up to a text from her which she apparently sent at like 2 in the morning in all caps saying how much she loved me and how she was scared for the day I would lose feelings and how she will feel stupid for getting too attached but how her love for me kept her there. I smiled. Yeah I smile a lot, but this was different. I have never had a GF or anything before this point so seeing something like that for the first time almost made me tear up. No one, not even family, had shown this much affection for me. The rest of the day was basically a repeat of yesterday, but before I went to bed we scheduled our first date for tomorrow. I couldn't sleep that night because I was so excited. I got ready on Monday and went through school as usual, and after the final bell rung we met up. We didnt't really plan anything to do so we just went and sat at this spot behind the school and looked at the clouds and basically cuddled for 2 hours straight. I also gave her a teddy bear that she would name Tony. I offered to walk her home, but she said I couldn't take her all the way because she hadn't told her Mom about me yet and that she would freak out if she saw her with a guy. When we parted ways, She kissed me. First kiss i guess? anyways not even 5 minutes after i started walking the other direction i get another text from her in all caps saying that she loved me. I chuckled. I matched her energy and i said i love you back and we flirted for the rest of the day and were starting to talk about when we should go out again. We scheduled another date for Friday. We texted eachother every day up until that point, until she started to become dry. Something was wrong. Out of nowhere i get a text from her saying goodbye in all lowercase. this was bad. she said that she couldn't handle all of this right now and that is was all moving too fast she was afraid of hurting me like she hurt her ex (they broke up because of her, my friends are good friends with her ex and warned me about her) I begged her to stay, but alas, my efforts led to nothing. She even told me she was returning Tony back to me. I cried all night begging her to stay. Suprisingly she responded the next morning and we talked for a little bit. She eventually agreed to stay but she said to keep all of the flirting minimal. she wouldn't even let me call her wifey anymore. everything was fine for the most part until before i had to leave for swim practice. she told me that she couldn't keep this up because she would get too attached, and left again. i started crying in the locker room in front of all my teammates. i had to skip practice because i was such a mess. i started begging her to come back to no avail, until later that night she responded once more and we started talking again. it was nice. she said she wanted to stay friends though. i agreed that would be best for now. until a few days later she started sending a bunch of voice messages saying a bunch of jibberish. it was funny and we were having a good time until she told me that she loved me in one of them. i cautiously smiled. i told her that I thought she wanted to stay friends. she started opening up about her previous relationship and about how she regrets how she acted and is trying to heal and was just scared something like that would happen again. She said we could step it up a little. after a few minutes of debating with myself, i called her wifey. she responded by calling me cutie. she was truly back. We started texting the next day and things were mostly normal again. we even started talking about sex. on our next date, we did it, that was the day i lost my virginity. that was genuinely one of the best days of my life. After that we started going out on dates and texting like normal and after a while things got spicy and we talked about having sex again. I was excited and so was she. we oraninzed a date but the morning of the date we selected she said that she didnt want to anymore. obviously i respected her boundaries and told her it was okay. we started texting again but she got progressively drier and the day eventually came where she said she lost feelings for me and said that we should stay friends. I kept asking her why and she said it all felt like it was moving too fast and that i was good friend material. the thing that hurt tho most is when she said she was uncomfortable most on most of the dates we had. i begged her to give me another chance and opened up about how difficult this was for me but to no avail. i still talk to her every day to this day but she responds slow and is dry most of the time. from what I've heard she isn't talking to anyone new yet, so that cant be the reason. i would honestly do anything to go back to how things were and to start over with her. i read our old convos crying wondering where it all went wrong. it's like she is a whole different person now. i tried flirting a couple times but she shut it down each time. staying friends is slowly breaking me and i know when she starts talking to someone new it'll hurt the most. i would do anything to get her back. Most would say that shes gone for good but I just can't come to terms with that. there has to be a way to get her back. I guess I'm just asking for advice at this point but i also wanted to get all of this off of my chest as I am afraid that if i opened up to anyone they would ridicule me for being so dumb and staying with her this whole time. I can't bring myself to cut contact with her but i feel that that would be the best but i want to stay because I want to try and fix things but i don't know how. feel free to ask questions in the comments i guess

You've armed yourself with a VPN to guard your online exploits, making your browsing, streaming, and torrenting more elusive than Bigfoot himself. Thanks to your VPN's Fort Knox-level encryption, network overlords and ISPs are left scratching their heads, unable to spot which corners of the web you've been poking around in or what files you've been downloading. But there's one problem - they can still sense your VPN, like an invisible yet palpable phantom in the room. Lucky for us, there are several methods in the vault to make a VPN as undetectable as a needle in a haystack.
Scanning through the swathes of online advice on rendering your VPN undetectable is a bit like diving into a murky sea of misinformation, half-truths, and wild guesses. So, armed with a spirit of relentless curiosity, I donned my digital Sherlock Holmes hat and set out on a weeks-long fact-finding mission. My tools? Piles of articles, guides, and VPN support articles, numerous conversations with VPN customer service detectives, my personal expertise and experience, and multiple rounds of good ol' fashioned testing.
The result? This guide. Consider it a condensed field guide to making your VPN connection as elusive as a chameleon (well, to some extent). And because we're not half-baking things here, I've also included my personal recommendations for the top-tier VPNs that can deftly sidestep VPN detection and blockade like a pro.
The Art of Invisible VPNing: A Guide to the Why
Why would you want to render your VPN invisible, you might ask? Well, as much as I admire transparency, in the realm of VPNs, stealth pays off. Here's why.
In the case of a VPN block party - nations like China, Iran, and Indonesia have often been known to use their cutting-edge technology prowess to sniff out and thwart VPN connections. Even educational institutions and workplaces sometimes employ firewalls as bouncers, keeping VPNs at bay.
Secondly, who doesn't love a good streaming spree? Unfortunately, streaming sites often act like a suspicious bouncer, routinely rooting out and blocking VPN connections due to licensing red tape. But if you can make your VPN connection as invisible as a ghost, you could swan dive into your favorite shows from anywhere with a VPN.
Lastly, it's all about privacy, isn't it? Although your VPN's encryption acts like a cloak of invisibility, preventing your ISP from seeing your digital shenanigans, your ISP can still sense the presence of a VPN. Also, websites can sometimes recognize VPN IP addresses. In the name of privacy, some folks just prefer not to broadcast to their ISPs or visited sites that they're employing a VPN. After all, a good magician never reveals his secrets.
An Invisible Surfing Spree: Selecting the Right VPN
The most straightforward path around those pesky VPN detection dogs and firewall barricades is to employ a VPN that's adept at playing hide and seek. What you're really looking for is a VPN that changes its IP address as often as a chameleon changes color, expertly cloaks its VPN traffic, and offers an impressive suite of security and privacy features.
After sending several VPNs through a gauntlet of tests, I came to the conclusion that ExpressVPN should be your first port of call if you want to cruise the internet undetected — here's the evidence:
The master of disguise, ExpressVPN, seems to have a revolving door for IP addresses. During my test-run of its New York server, I noticed a different IP address each time, as if I was flipping through a book of random digits. The prowess of ExpressVPN is further demonstrated by its ability to grant you access to top-tier streaming platforms and its seamless operation even in countries with internet restrictions tighter than a tick.
Also, it supports Tor over VPN connections, adding another layer of camouflage to your VPN's IP address.
Your data and privacy are guarded like crown jewels with its no-logs policy and a suite of advanced security features, including robust leak protection, all backed up by audits.
Shuffling the Deck: Switching Your VPN’s IP Address
When a streaming giant or network sleuth has put your VPN's IP address on the blacklist, you'll need to give your VPN server's IP a makeover to sidestep this little roadblock. The most straightforward approach? Simply reconnect to the VPN server or waltz over to a different VPN server.
Certain VPNs come with in-built tools that permit you to shuffle the server's IP address like a deck of cards. Others, with a flair for automation, do the reshuffling for you — unobtrusively changing the IP address while you're sailing through the VPN server, akin to a magician who never reveals his tricks. Take VyprVPN for example, it has a trick up its sleeve known as the Chameleon protocol. This obfuscation tool is a master of disguise, seamlessly changing your IP address mid-journey without as much as a hiccup in your VPN connection.
Musical Chairs: Juggling Your VPN Protocol
Sometimes, in a land of restrictions and watchful network overseers, certain VPN protocols can be halted in their tracks if the ports they love to party in are shut down. They can also be outed and barred by a savvy bouncer known as Deep Packet Inspection (DPI). Your ticket out of this restrictive soiree is a simple protocol switcheroo.
If you find yourself grappling with port blocks, OpenVPN or WireGuard could be your new best pals. Should their default stomping grounds be barred, you can manually shepherd them to a different port — a tour WireGuard is prepared for with thousands of options, and OpenVPN is not far behind. Some VIPs on the VPN scene, such as ExpressVPN and PrivateVPN, have taken it a step further. They've programmed these protocols to play nice with ports that are hard to put in lockdown, saving you the hassle of handpicking a port. Quite the lifesaver if you're new to the shindig.
Playing Hide-and-Seek with Your VPN
Obfuscation, or as I like to call it, the "VPN invisibility cloak", wraps your VPN traffic in an extra layer of encryption, making it appear as unassuming as your run-of-the-mill internet traffic. It's your best defense against the ever-probing eye of DPI detection and blockade.
While a fair share of VPNs come with access to protocols that are masters of disguise, a select few have a built-in obfuscation feature that doesn't require them to borrow from the protocols they use. TunnelBear, for example, has its GhostBear feature, and PrivateVPN boasts StealthVPN. Activate these tools, and your VPN data magically transforms into regular, everyday internet traffic. Abracadabra, your online activities have just pulled a Houdini!
Opening the 443 Doorway: A Sneak into Internet Autobahn
If VPN-related ports seem like they are sealed tighter than a sous-vide bag, it's high time you make a run for TCP port 443. This magical portal is the very same used by HTTPS traffic, which pretty much is the main freeway for most of our internet travels. If an ISP or network overlord dared to barricade this gateway, they might as well bid adieu to all websites that use HTTPS – say, those tiny, irrelevant sites like Facebook, Google, Twitter, and YouTube. Imagine the uproar!
However, this precious TCP port 443 is only compatible with a select few VPN protocols:
OpenVPN, the people's champion of protocols for its robust security, is one of them. Some VPN providers like Private Internet Access let you pick TCP port 443 when you’re feeling the OpenVPN groove. Others, like ExpressVPN, streamline the process, automatically pairing OpenVPN with TCP port 443.
SSTP, a protocol not as widely embraced, uses TCP port 443 by default. But it's hard to find, tucked away in the menus of only a few VPN providers like IPVanish.
Then, there's SoftEther. This protocol is like the unicorn of VPN services - you hear of it, but you barely see it, primarily because it's as tricky to integrate into the VPN client as untangling your headphones after they've been in your pocket.
The High-Roller IP: A Reserved Seat in the VPN Concert
In the world of VPNs, shared IP addresses are the norm, akin to the nosebleed section in a concert - you share the space (or IP in our case) with a gaggle of other VPN users. But what if you fancied a front-row experience? Enter: the dedicated IP address. This VIP seat, exclusive to you, ensures that you don't share the IP spotlight with anyone else. It's like renting your own private island in the vast VPN sea.
Should you opt for a dedicated IP, streaming sites might struggle to detect your VPN connection. Picture this: instead of identifying a mob of 100+ people logging in from the same IP address (quite the red flag for shared IPs), websites would witness only a lone user logging in. Less conspicuous, less likely to be flagged and blocked.
If a dedicated IP address whets your appetite, Private Internet Access and CyberGhost VPN are solid options. They both roll out the red carpet of dedicated IPs for a nominal additional fee. For those of you scrimping, PrivateVPN is a sensible choice, providing free access to dedicated IP addresses.
Moreover, some VPNs, such as TorGuard, even offer dedicated residential IP addresses, the crème de la crème of detectability. These IPs belong to residential ISPs rather than data centers, making them appear as regular internet users to anyone scrutinizing these IPs. However, fair warning, TorGuard’s VPN plans tend to be on the pricier side. It's akin to paying for box seats at the opera, not exactly penny-pinching.
The Tor-tuous Trail: A VPN Voyage to the Dark Side
Tor, a cloak-and-dagger network that grants passage to the infamous dark web, is like a secret labyrinth. It leads your traffic through multiple servers, engaging in some digital masquerade, frequently changing your IP and encrypting your traffic repeatedly. The best part? It’s like a secret society with no membership fee. Simply download and install the Tor browser and you have a ticket to the Tor network.
Here's a trick up the sleeve: you can snake a Tor connection through a VPN connection. This nifty move ensures internet and dark web hotspots are none the wiser about your VPN IP address. The VPN connection, draped in several layers of Tor encryption, would be harder to detect than a chameleon on a Jackson Pollock painting. In essence, your connection path looks a bit like this:
You, then VPN, then Tor Server #1, Tor Server #2, Tor Server #3, and finally, the Dark Web.
Several top-shelf VPNs support the Tor over VPN connection, with ExpressVPN garnering my personal favor due to its impressively quick speeds. Because let's face it, Tor over VPN connections often move at the pace of a snail riding a turtle. Proton VPN also deserves an honorable mention, boasting servers in 7 countries that automatically route your traffic through the Tor network. This unique setup lets you access dark web sites with pedestrian browsers like Chrome and Firefox — no need to whip out the Tor browser.
Playing Hooky with your VPN: A Cellular Strategy
You know how workplaces and institutions of learning morph into fun sponges with their stringent anti-VPN rules on their networks? And getting caught using one can earn you an unceremonious trip to the principal's office or worse.
In such a tricky situation, it's time to tap into the untamed frontier of mobile data. By flipping the switch to your cellular data, you're using the network of your telecommunications provider instead of the school or company's network. It's like swapping the 'schooled' network's version of domesticated, house-trained internet for the wild, VPN-friendly terrain of mobile data.

Throwaway account, as i don't want this connected to my other accounts.
My thoughts are erratic, forgive me for bouncing all over the point but I'm trying to include everything I've been thinking and feeling with my reasoning so please bear with me. Gonna be a long one. If you take the time to read all this and provide genuine, thoughtful feedback, know that I'm beyond appreciative.
I had my first child at 19, and his mother and I didn't stay together. He was given a hyphenated combination of our last names, and now all these years later his mother is engaged to another man with their own newborn, and my son calls said man "his other daddy". I understand that as even though i am active in my son's life, my own dad wasn't around and i ended up calling my temporary step-dad "daddy" for a period of time. My son's mom and her fiancé of course have been living together for a while so i don't see anything wrong with that, nor am i bothered by it as long as my son and Mr. Fiancé don't forget who his actual father is.
All that to say that this has led to me being unwilling to have my other children calling another man "daddy", which is one of a few reasons making me feel like i have to stay in my current relationship and eventually tie the knot with my girlfriend - even if i am currently unhappy more often than not and feel as if marriage would be dooming myself to a life of tolerance rather than contentment.
I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Before I talk (or complain) about everything I'm unhappy about, I'd like to make it known that I've been 10 relationships before my current one, and i ended 8 of them with 2 of them ended by the girl- much to my chagrin. Those 2 had a pretty big impact on me but not as much as 2 that i ended due to being cheated on. The rest I ended i guess out of boredom? This made me feel as if I wasn't cut out for relationships and I should be alone, but then I end up lonely wanting a relationship. I ended one relationship with a cheater right before the relationship that gave me my firstborn. I never took the time to heal from that and I wasn't ready for a child at the time, so even though i love my son and have always been active in his life, i never thought his mother and I would have a longstanding relationship.
We separated and then i met and began a relationship with the second cheater. At the time I was 21 and she was 33, but i could've swore she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Thing was, she was still living with her ex and I'm sure you can imagine how that went. That whole relationship left me feeling emasculated.
I left that relationship and began a relationship with my current girlfriend not even 3 months later. Needless to say I did no healing, took no time for myself. To make things worse we moved in together within another 3 months, and she found out she was pregnant by the end of the year.
I was actually perfectly content with my only child and had no desire to sire another child at this point in time, but my girlfriend had gotten pregnant in her previous relationship and ended up losing the baby, so her baby fever was at an all time high and she would get depressed whenever we would have sex and I'd cum anywhere other than inside of her. She'd roll over and put her back to me and sulk about it until she went to sleep, sometimes even crying about it. This made me feel Tee-totally terrible so I eventually just 🤷🏾‍♂️ and started finishing inside her to give her the child she wanted. This pregnancy gave me my daughter and I love her to death, she's amazing. We were staying in an apartment complex with roommates, but after finding out she was pregnant we went to stay with her mom. I broke up with her after welcoming the baby due to feelings of discontentment, although we got together again a few months later.
We got our own place and stayed there about a year and a half before I broke up with her again because i felt like i just wasn't the man for her. I told her i didn't want to marry and i don't want anymore kids, mainly just to drive the point as these are things she wants. We separated for 3 or 4 months this time, in which period of time I had sex once with an ex and she had sex once with a coworker. Despite that, we got back together because i had "thought about it" and decided that i didn't mind marrying and having more children. Fast forward a year and we moved to a better home and welcomed our second child together, my 3rd child and 2nd son.
I've thought about and pretty much accepted the concept/fate of marrying my girlfriend. She's been insistent bordering on impatient which I understand. This last time we got back together I told her we'd be wed before our son got here, which was rash on my part. I rush a lot of things but marriage isn't one of them.
I don't know if it's because my girlfriend is the partner in question, but marriage just feels like a huge shackle to me and divorce is a hassle from what I've heard. I don't want to marry just for it to be unhappy and end up in divorce.
Back to: I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Here comes the complaining.
I'm an introvert, through and through. I like reading books, i like quiet time, i enjoy having time to myself, I enjoy doing/accomplishing things alone.
My girlfriend has to be the antithesis. She can talk on and on and on for hours on end without nary a breath in between. This isn't as much of an issue as the subject of her conversation- most of the time, there isn't one. It's like 95% of her thoughts come out of her mouth and she expects me to reply and vividly react to it all. It's really kind of draining. I get that as the man i should be glad that I'm the one she's talking to, but sometimes I'd rather enjoy the song that's playing or just have time alone with my thoughts. So most of her dialogue has no real meaning to me, and she often talks/asks questions about things that would be clear to her with just a little observation on her end. A little thought. She's so busy spitting out that 95% thought that she can't use the remaining 5 to come to her own conclusions.
For example, we're riding in the car. It's sunny outside, yet starts to rain. She says, "The devil must be beating his wife". I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because what kind of sense does that make? She says, "What you've never heard that?" No, because it doesn't make sense. The devil is in theory beneath us so even if he did have a wife and beat her, why would these tears be coming from the sky? Perhaps I'm just a dull rock and too analytical but i feel like we could've both saved our breath on that whole exchange.
Another example. We went to eat, i got a coke to go. It was riding in the front cup holder until i finished it, and threw the empty cup into the trash. A whole ten, fifteen minutes later she asks, "Did you finish your coke?" I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because are you telling me you didn't see me throw it away while you're right beside me? Do you not see the empty cup holder? I say yea, to which she asks me to hand her her water bottle. I just feel as if she could've taken the time to do some looking and thinking on her own, and just ask me for her water.
We're driving with a gps, she says that she needs me to help her because she doesn't know if it's this exit or the next one. 😐 idk if i can do this for the rest of my life. The route is highlighted on the screen, instead of oh so many feet, the distance is point something miles, and the exit number is on the screen. I tell her to think about it. She takes the wrong exit and gets mad at me.
Other times she is literally just voicing her inner dialogue like "I want a coke", "I'm hot, need to turn on the air", "My head is itching" and she just looks at me waiting for me to say something when I feel like none of this really warrants a reply. I hate small talk but maybe I'm just a stick in the mud.
She asks for help ridiculously often when she doesn't really need any. She could do things on her own most of the time just by freeing up one of her hands or literally thinking about the issue more. She probably tells me "hold this" 15 to 93 times a day. Just put it down? We were eating chinese takeout one night, and with a table right in front of her, she tells me to hold her plate. You know they give you enough food to feed a small village in those flimsy ass trays so the styrofoam bends and she drops her plate on my legs and in the floor before i can get a hold of it. I can't tell you how many times she's asked me for help with something that literally has instructions on it; she just didn't take the time to read it. I point it out and she's like "Oh 😜". It's gotten to the point where other than "think about it", when she asks for help i ask "do you really" and when i feel like she doesn't i resort to a childhood saying of my mother: "USE YOUR NOODLE! And when you're done with your noodle, put it back in your soup and finish your dinner".
To sum these points up, my pride doesn't want my kids acknowledging yet another dad, my girlfriend spits faster than Eminem when I'm a quiet guy, and her problem solving skills are near nonexistent when I'm a self-dependent, figure it out type of guy. I guess these personality differences might stem from our upbringing, as she was raised in a volatile home with her brother, bouncing between her mother and grandmother who both talk just as much as she, while i was raised alone with my mother who also enjoyed quiet time and liked reading and such. BUT-
In addition to this, I don't feel like my girlfriend and I are as sexually compatible as we could be. Our preferences and things we want aren't that different, but i have a much broader taste than she does and I don't ever think I'll achieve sexual freedom with her. I know that some of my fantasies are off the table for her, and others I'm too ashamed to even open up about due to what she's made clear of her stance. She doesn't like the lights on during, she doesn't like eye contact, she isn't very vocal. I wanna see her, look her in the eye, when i talk to her she doesn't talk back and doesn't mention it till we're done. These differences probably come from our experience and lack of with porn and sexual partners. I think I'm her third or fourth relationship. The guy before me she was with for 5 years. I started watching porn at 12 or 13, was running a NSFW tumblr page before tumblr stopped being cool, regularly masturbated. I don't think my girlfriend ever really touched herself before me, and the only time i know of her masturbating was to send me a video like 2 years ago. I want more from out sex life but trying to bring it up is met with mild disgust before rejection. Ideally I want my partner to want to masturbate sometimes, for us both to have toys, for us to explore with ourselves and other people and explore our fantasies. My girlfriend doesn't even have any. This makes me reluctant to marry because I don't wanna give up on all of this without having experienced it.
On top of this is her style of living. Bathroom sink and tub full of hair. Throwing something away- KOBE! -she misses and doesn't pick it up. Preparing food and leaving the scraps and trash on the counter for roaches, rats and ants, i can't stand it. Her side of the bed looks like the empty water bottle monster threw up and she loves to eat before bed but rarely takes her dishes to the kitchen before sleeping, and just throws her trash in the general direction of the can without bothering to just lean over and place it in or at least see if she made it. I'll say something and she'll do better for 2 days and a half, then i feel like i wasted my words. 8 used wash rags left in the shower, not flushing the toilet, she just really kinda sucks at cleaning up after herself until the stars align or mercury is in retrograde or some divine intervention where she wants to do everything in a day. She's a manager at McD's now so she's working a bit more, but she used to be a server with multiple off days through the week while I've had the same job for 6 years working 6 days out the week from 7a-3p, sometimes working 3-3 or 7-7 and it's frustrating to come home with her having laid on the couch all day amidst a house that a torndado ran through. Then when I get home she wants us to clean together, nah I'm tryna sit down somewhere. I still help pickup but why could you not do this in the 10, 12 hours i was gone? At least start on it and i can come in with the assist like an alley-oop.
To top it off is her style of parenting/communication. Her dad is a loud man and he's to thank for the genes I guess, but she's quick to resort to yelling whenever things bother her or the kids don't listen, as if the louder you are the easier it is to understand. Like I said I'm a quiet guy and i consider myself rational so i like to slow down and calmly talk about things, talk to kids with a level head and tone when they're wrong and talk to her in a calm tone whenever we have any altercations. She normally beats me to the punch with child reprimands since those thoughts have been bubbling in her mouth, and i don't like the yelling at all. After she gets done yelling I'll usually come behind to tell the kids what went wrong and why it was/why they shouldn't do that. But due to my level-headedness she sees that as me not caring, and when i ask her to calm her tone she says it's just how she reacts when upset. The kids act drastically different when they're alone with me versus alone with her, going from minding to whiny/crying whenever she gets to yelling.
Besides the yelling and too high expectations for small children, i do think she's a good mom, i just wish she'd handle things differently sometimes.
To sum these points up, I'm worried about sexual fulfillment, cleanliness (having to pick up after 3 kids and an adult), and temperament/attitude once married.
I know these things take effort but I feel like she just isn't as conscious about it as I am, and when i try to explain why i think she could/should do things differently/more efficiently, she takes it as me criticizing her and belittling her. It feels like I'm in a relationship with a child sometimes as far as her tendencies go.
Is marriage really the best option? Should we spend some time apart or end things for good?
Despite all of this we don't have a bad 1 on 1 relationship, when it's good it's great but when it's bad i can't help but wonder. I get pensive. Is marriage the best course of action for my life, for her life, for our kids? Would we all be able to grow and develop better with mom and dad separated? Is there someone better for me, someone better for her out there?
I've already gotten the supplies I had in mind ready to propose to her in a way she would love and i am happy with, i just have yet to buy a ring. It's a huge commitment that i don't want to end in disaster and resentment.
Sorry for the book. Thoughts/advice greatly appreciated.

A little backstory: So I (24F) move to across the country about 7-8 months ago to be closer to my sister. Moving is expensive so I stayed with my sister (25F), her boyfriend (30M) and two kids, step son and bio daughter(6M) (6F) until I could save a bit to save it a deposit down on a new apartment in a busier city because she lives in a small with not many jobs in my field. The plan was to come out and work until I could move to the city, get an apartment and go back to school. When I move, I find out my sister and her bf are having trouble. They fight, he’s out until 3am-6am every night, paying woman on for their attention, talking to other women in town, and this isn’t the first time. My sisters bf has always been an alcoholic. Eventually there was a pretty bad night where her bf put his hands on my sister. Cops were called, it was bad. So we moved out and found a place of our own in town. I put my plans on hold because my sister didn’t work a lot and her bf didn’t want her to, to stay with the kids. So I helped her out. We had planned to move out of the town and start fresh after a few months of saving money. A few months down the line, she’s going all the time and I end up watching her daughter a lot of nights, which I don’t mind because I love my niece more than anything, but it got to a point where because I just moved to a small town and had no friends it was more expected and that got infuriating because I felt like a free live in nanny. She starts seeing her ex again. He’s still drinks and he’s still emotionally manipulative, but as far as she knows he doesn’t cheat so he’s good as new.
So here’s what put this all in motion. Last night she went out and said she was just going to her exes house to let out the dogs, but instead she leaves to the bar her ex works at and and leaves the kids asleep on the couch without letting me know. So I’m sleeping and I hear my niece (who is sick) screaming for her mom at 2 o’clock in the morning. After a while I realize no one is getting up to get her. So I get up and my sister is nowhere to be found and calm my niece down. I text my sister and tell her what happened and ask her where she is. She came home from the bar soon after. She then threw up all over the bathroom and then had extremely loud inter course with her ex until 4:30 am after knowing I had a long work week and just wanted to sleep. I addressed all of my feelings in the morning (keep in mind this isn’t the first time I’ve expressed I’m not comfortable with him being over at the house all the time and sleeping over). This blew up and she said she felt like it I wanted her to cut everyone off so she can just spend time with me. I don’t feel like that’s how it came across although I can’t speak for her perception. But I was fed up and told her I’m done being disrespected/walked over. That I’m not going to continue to watch the kids and act like I’m okay with him being over all the time when she assured me he wouldn’t be. On top of this they are together every second of free time they have, so if we have plans she’ll invite him, or go to his family events instead of whatever plans we had. She invites me so I don’t feel alone, but I don’t think she keeps in mind I’m just not comfortable around her bf. So I’m moving in with my parents which is in a completely different state and she thinks I’m a horrible person because her relationship is none of my business and she can’t support her and her daughter by herself. She’s right about her relationship being her personal business. I just can’t do it anymore. So AITA?

Issued a 14 day notice to the landlord for multiple repairs that hadn’t been actioned since January. My landlord replied saying we had given them an ‘ultimatum’ and says because it’s the long weekend they will not have repairs done by the cut off date next week.
It’s breaching the healthy homes standards but the other tenants in the home don’t want to go to tenancy services because they ‘want to keep a good relationship and get a good reference’.
What should I do? I want to go to tenancy services

Hello, kpopthoughts! Originally this was posted in twice but one of my friends said I should crosspost it here — so here this album review is.
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Intro

To preface the review, I just need to say that this is going to be a very long read. Going through it myself for the fun of it takes around 30 minutes — it's almost 7k words, including lyrical references. So for the best experience, listen to the album beforehand to understand what the hell I was thinking when I wrote this, play the album while reading, and set a good amount of time aside.
And yes, this is 9 months late 😭 I'm not sorry — when I find an album review online it's always around a paragraph per song or even shorter. It makes sense from a journalistic perspective, but I want to do this album justice, hence taking 7 months to write out all my thoughts.
This shit is comprehensive and definitely overanalyzed, especially in Talk that Talk and Trouble. Each song review will compose of my commentary, noting the details I noticed through months of listening, then a conclusion. Also, mild swearing warning, I like implementing a touch of "French" when I'm very emotional about something. Anyway, onto the review!
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Between 1&2 💞

Album Review
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TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED
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Talk that Talk 🎙

Producers by collapsedone and MRCH
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One of the most perfect TWICE songs.
I think this is one of TWICE’s best-sounding title tracks. Warm modulated synths, a thrumming bass line, distant bells, shimmering synths — the purpose of this song is to be fun and my god is it excellent at it, like, Sana and Chaeyoung are saying knock-knock-knock and beep-beep-beep as if they’re some kind of car. So much fun.
Further along in the verse, Dahyun’s voice sounds so full and smooth with that layered harmony. Tzuyu coming with the Yes or Yes, Push & Pull, and 1 to 10 references — these are 5 years of song references. And Jeongyeon closes the pre-chorus accompanied by a rising synth to drop into chorus one. Jeongyeon slays pre-choruses.
The drums accelerate, the synths start blasting, and Jihyo opens to that party of a chorus with her godly vocals,
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Tell me what you want
Tell me what you need
A to Z da malhaebwa
But shijageun ireoke have
Talk that Talk ttak han madi
Talk that Talk L-O-V-E
deullyeojweo ooh
Now now now now now yeah~

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During Sana's Talk that Talk~ lines there’s this gentle ascending synth bell that rings with the descending melody and it sounds absolutely gorgeous. And the choreography during that part of the chorus is so so so so fun: the talking hands bit, spelling L-O-V-E, concluding with the deullyeojweo ooh! Oh my Jihyo the deullyeojweo ooh…
Have I mentioned this song is fun?
Speeding through verse 2; Chaeyoung’s part with the cat ears popping in the music video is adorable; Momo her stretching her arms out looks so damn cool; and Dahyun with her replay part sounds so lovely — although I think it sonically sounds a touch random, it makes sense thematically.
And now for this pre-chorus. Mina and Jihyo leading into it sound great BUT JEONGYEON… Now, she is my ult bias, and this pre-chorus sounds almost identical to the first one, but the way she holds that final note, inflecting and holding that now~ for one more beat before the chorus drops sounds so perfect — the song teeters on a cliff edge. Jeongyeon slays pre-choruses.
Dropping into the second chorus and man the way Nayeon delivers it just hits different. She has this indescribable “pop” voice (I promise this wasn't on purpose) that shouts out loud that this is THE chorus. This is especially apparent in how both lead their choruses where Jihyo starts at 120% power while Nayeon waits until [Tell me] WHAT YOU WANT to full-send it. The production also helps with this effect, cutting out during what you to emphasize Nayeon's voice before crashing back down, double the pause at Jihyo's intro.
Another deullyeojweo ooh! Nayeon travels to Narnia, and Mina the engineer strikes again in this heavenly, underwater-esque bridge,
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The simple words “I love you”
That’s all I wanna hear
Without hesitation, I’ll go up to you
I’ll make it simple
And just tell you I love you

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The word “love” is said for the first time in the song. There’s a funky keyboard instrument behind Chaeyoung’s part. Jihyo, Chaeyoung, and Nayeon take the initiative in their lyrics, professing their love before closing the bridge.
And now for the pièce-de-résistance: this final double chorus is exceptional — 40 seconds of crack-laced euphoria; Jihyo switches up the chorus and the choreo, Dahyun chimes in with her fluttery Talk that Talk, Momo comes out of nowhere with oh yeah it sounds so good! — you’re damn right it does, and this is where the song SOARS.
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han beon deo~ haejweo
geurae banggeum geu mal~

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Nayeon outright shouts Tell me what you need and then Jeongyeon sings the above lines in such an ethereal, warm way where the first line ascends while the second descends, causing a lull in the song before the finale with Tzuyu and Nayeon, finishing off the song with the final deullyeojweo ooh!
What a party. What a song.
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THE GOOD

• The synths of all time
• The chimes during Talk-that-talk~
• Jeongyeon’s pre-chorus going into Nayeon’s chorus
• Rich harmonies and fun ad-libs
• The entirety of that magical final chorus and outro

Needs Work

• The opening hook (Tell me what you want) and accompanying choreography could be “catchier”

Core Memory

• Singing (and dancing) my heart out when this song played at a K-pop club

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Lyrics and theme-wise, if this were to have been TWICE’s last comeback, they’ve once again built upon the theme they've been doing since debut: a Bildungsroman, a coming-of-age story.
This song’s chorus is honest yet simple; it asks the listener, in this case, the other half of the relationship, to be more upfront and open with their love (never be scared of love), that before the relationship can continue and flourish, there has to be a foundation and commitment of love between each other.
TWICE debuted with a song about making your crush go ooh ahh. Years later, they started pondering What is Love? and imagining their crush responding with Yes when asking them out — and now concluding with the phrase Talk that Talk, [Talk that] L-O-V-E, being upfront with the relationship, wishing their partner to also be happy, to commit to them, to feel the love that they want to impart on them. From gawking like ooh-ahh to talking out your shared love like adults — to having a true relationship between (one and) two.
And can I just say before finishing off Talk that Talk's review that this is such a fun and repeatable song with many little intricacies hidden in the nonet’s vocals and the song's production. This is the third draft I’m writing about Talk that Talk and its original word count pretty much quadrupled.
Harkening back to TWICE’s roots by combining mature thinking with youthful character, an incredible ending to look forward to, and just simply being a club-banger that’s easy to listen to, TTT is an easy 10/10.
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WATCH ME GO WATCH ME GO
RULE THE WORLD
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Queen of Hearts 👑

Produced by LDN Noise
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If there was one B-side to promote in a live clip, this was a solid choice.
Helmed by LDN Noise going headlong into the Western boy-group rock-band aesthetic, Queen of Hearts is a boom-boom-clap song through and through. The drums are very prominent throughout the song, only giving room to riffs of electric guitar in the chorus to drive and continue the momentum of the music.
And speaking of the chorus, vocal line each got a chorus to flex and they did not fuck around,
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You ain’t ready for it
Watch me go~ watch me go~
Rule the world
Know you never doubted baby
I’mma go run the whole universe~

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Cymbals crashing, drums booming, and 3MIX belting all just so sound so good.
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Baby I was born to rule~~
Yeah I’m the Queen, I’m the Queen
And it’s all because of you~~
That I’m the Queen of Hearts

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These long, held-out notes performed by Jihyo and Nayeon are simply exquisite. Along with the shredding guitar, the drum set coming in full, and the interludes by Dahyun, Momo, and Chaeyoung, this is the part of the song that always, always, gives me goosebumps — it sounds so visceral, so energetic, so fun, so triumphant. Boom-boom-clap songs can be hit or miss with people, but there's no denying the payoff from the first part of the chorus to the second part is worth the wait.
The theme of the song so far has been kind of spread around the song. The chorus alludes to it with the line And it’s all because of you. But Mina shows more sides of it in the second verse, especially with the phrase,
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And now that I’m surrounded by all my girls
We be shining bright like diamonds and pearls

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It sounds really lovely — in a very cheesy and affectionate kind of way, as it rightfully should — the song is about the girls and their fans. But the bridge is where the song indeed shows its colours
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Screaming out my name
See it in the stage lights
Feel so lucky just to have ya
Cause I know deep down I was meant for something bigger! Greater!
I know you’re seeing what I see
Yeah I’ll be everything you need
I know I’m gonna walk the walk
And talk the talk to be~ [the Queen of Hearts]

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This is a song CONCEIVED TO BE PERFORMED FOR THE FANS. It’s meant to be loud. It’s meant to be unapologetic. It’s meant to be sappy. And it’s all the more wonderful for it.
This is the TWICEiest shit ever.
Like Talk that Talk, Queen of Hearts also has a killer closer. The production already started to grow from the bridge, but now the guitarist finally went Super Saiyan and instead of supporting the drums, they both take the centre stage in tandem.
Then finally, the closing moments of the song even manage to squeeze in some more sappiness.
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So thank you for the memories
You’re all the ones who made me~
So thank you for the memories
That I’m the Queen of Hearts

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I still can’t believe that this banger is a FAN SONG out of all things. Truly, the TWICEiest shit ever.
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THE GOOD

• Adorable fucking lyrics
• Unrelenting, roaring chorus
• English and vocal flex
• Intoxicating guitar riffs

Needs Work

• Chaeyoung rapping in English in their Korean songs somehow slaps harder than her English rapping in their English songs, nonetheless, in QoH, it fits with the sound of the song

Core Memory

• Walking home from a K-pop festival with this song playing, felt like a Queen of Hearts

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I love these types of rock songs with how grunge and head-bang-able they are, there is just a certain nostalgic and cheesy quality to them that feels so cozy. I don’t love putting them on repeat, because in this case, I do believe there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Perhaps more shredding, maybe a guitar solo to rock out to, or an accompaniment(!) of ad-libs from 3MIX to support Jihyo’s final chorus? A ONCE can dream of a truly bombastic rock song from TWICE. But then again that distracts from the core of what this song is: a fan song disguised as a rock song.
Queen of Hearts has so much sweetness in its lyrics and message that it's overflowing. The drums, guitar, and vocals can be as loud and intricate as they can, but the theme of this song is what makes it special from TWICE’s other rock songs — it’s a 9/10 for me.
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I WANNA WANNA WANNA
TAKE YOU TO THE BASICS
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Basics 🌈

Lyrics by Chaeyoung
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Quite possibly the jammiest (pun intended) song of the album.
A song written by the Strawberry Princess herself — an event similar in frequency to other artists' releases with her last song being 2020’s silky Handle It — Basics first starts with an understated and dreamy delivery. After the first stanza, however, a bouncy Miami bass line emerges, revealing the true nature of the song: this is a classic summer bop! Especially in the first rap,
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dareun aedeulgwaneun dalla
Ain’t beggin’ for love
nappeun geon anijana ige naraseo
eodiro twilji molla
Like rainbow bubble gum
geureoni nal kkwak butjabadweo

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Syllables are pronounced in a relaxed nature, bars often starting with an "ah" sound, flirty lines in English — this rap features a production full of pop with R&B flourishes and, in my opinion, this is Chaeyoung’s bag. Also, the line rainbow bubblegum is so adorable and so Chaeyoung.
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I wanna wanna wanna take it to the Basics
da weonhae weonhae weonhae? seodureuji ma Baby
ppeonhae ppeonhae malhae mweohae da al tende
Ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah

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That chorus is pure pop with a Miami bass backing; you better be bopping your head to the melody, if not booty poppin' to the bassline. Chaeyoung loves rhyming in the first half of the chorus to enhance its catchiness and it's damn incredible: wanna, weonhae, and ppeonhae all create these imperfect rhymes that continue momentum without feeling repetitive.
After the very Boy With Luv-sounding ah yeah ah yeah, ah yeah ah yeah comes an 8-bar split half and half between Chaeyoung and Momo. Coming from the chorus, the production completely cuts out for the first 2 bars. This adds tension; the song yearns to have that bass beat thumping again and all we have in the audio space in those 2 bars is Chaeyoung spittin' and she delivered.
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taneun deut tteugeoun samak wie
yeppeuge pieonan jangmi gata
joshimseure naege dagaol ttae
nado moreuge jjilleobeoril tende

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Translating to:
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Above the hot, burning desert
It’s like a rose that bloomed beautifully
When you come to me slowly
I will prick you unconsciously

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The rap feels slick, effortless, and confident. Her diction remains sharp when enunciating each syllable but she doesn’t let the flow of her rap waver or build as her 4 bars go by, it’s just smooth consistency throughout. Even the lyrics possess an aura of laid-back collectedness that is just so her. The things Chaeyoung can do when given her pen.
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THE GOOD

• That sweet summer vibe of a chorus
• The spaceship post-chorus is killer
• Chaeyoung devoured this song
• Sure-footed, confident lyrics

Needs Work

• Perhaps an alteration of that ah yeah ah yeah line
• The way Jihyo did her pre-chorus line is good, but Mina’s is great

Core Memory

• After donating my hair, walking down the rainbow-coloured areas of downtown Toronto with this song playing was very… fitting

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This song is summer bliss distilled into 2:56. It’s dreamy, the raps are satisfying, and the ending is charming. I will say that although the second half of the song adds the stunning spaceship post-choruses and a floaty bridge with an incredible drumbeat drop into the final chorus, the raps of the song make it feel a bit front-loaded. And in an album stacked with awesome finishers, it feels more apparent.
With that said, it’s an 8/10 bop for me. This song is so easy to put on and it feels exactly what Chaeyoung would make if given the reins to produce a pop song all on her own. The lyrics are nonchalant but full of conviction, the wordplay is intricate, and the production playful but not too bombastic — it's just a nice vibe. Songs like Basics are the standard for good, simple, repeatable pop music and I’m happy that Chaeyoung got to test her pen in this genre.
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BABY WE’RE IN
TROUBLE TROUBLE
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Trouble 💃

Lyrics, vocal direction, and background vocals by Jihyo
Produced by Jihyo and earattack
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One of the most enjoyable songs I’ve heard in a while.
There is an underlying tension within the first 4 bars of the song, Jihyo and Nayeon confidently open it to a nondescript array of synths and then the stanza ends, Momo announces Let’s go, the beat drops and it hits you: this is a club song.
Dahyun's relaxed delivery contrasting with Jeongyeon's staccato flow, the wobbly synth beat mixed with a sprinkle of house piano, Sana dramatically slowing down the song only for Tzuyu to build it back up until the chorus drops,
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• Nayeon opens it using a breathy tone, with vocal chops serving as harmonies
• The blooming of the house piano takes centre stage and the song ascends into euphoria
• A random drum roll capped off by a cymbal crash
• Jeongyeon’s growling pronunciation of the word Trouble
• Chaeyoung slyly admitting I like this Trouble
• The entirety of Tzuyu’s tro~oh~oh~ouble yeah~
• Sana using her deep voice for the na~na~na~na
• Jihyo leading the vocals during the synchronized T W I C E chant

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This chorus is perfect. Toronto’s residential market needs this song injected into its veins because god damn this song has SO much house in it. And then, ANOTHER KILLING PART: this rap fucking slaps.
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gamchweo bwatja geugeon Fake
ppajin hamjeongeun Sweet cake

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During the first 2 bars, Chaeyoung is keeping it calm because that trip of a chorus just ended and the song needs a breather, but I don't think anyone expected her to SNAP this hard afterwards:
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You cannot resist this
Cannot miss this, such a bliss
Ima put it down down
Oh yeah, better kiss kiss

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Below is the structure of her this portion of the rap, I’m not that well versed in this technical aspect of music theory but I digress, this is all in the span of around 5 seconds where it’s:
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Triplet-triplet
Quadruplet-triplet
Quadruplet-doublet
Doublet-quadruplet

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Now, 25/5 = 5 syllables per second isn’t groundbreaking, but goddamn it these 2 bars sound so nice — if there is one part in this album that I always repeat, it’s this. The addition of that first quadruplet for cannot miss this in the midst of the triplets sticks out and accelerates the flow of the rap while the following doublets and quadruplets destabilize and slow the rap down as the verse closes. And can I just point out:
THE MAIN VOCALIST WROTE, DIRECTED, AND COMPOSED THIS SONG ‼
Chaeyoung of course delivered the fuck out of her verse but THIS is what you get when you have a member not only write the words they’re saying but also the melody and flow with which they sing it, when that member knows the others so well that when they write a song they know how to make the group exceed. This is what you get when the artists you stan love doing artist shit.
And. AND. That's not all — with how much I mentioned I love a good outro to close a song, this outro slaps as well:
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Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this Trouble be-be
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this Trouble bay-be
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this Trouble bay-beh
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this Trou-ble

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Like, come on, Nayeon’s imitating a police siren for crying out loud. And this is all after her ad-libs in the final post-chorus; after the pianist going full tilt and playing that piano as if it was their last chance to ever play; after that final T W I C E chant by all the members come these blissful 20 seconds at the very end. What a song.
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THE GOOD

• The theme of relishing in an uncontrolled love
• Sana and Mina’s melody in the pre-chorus
• Whole neighbourhoods full of house
• You cannot resist this, cannot miss this, such a bliss
• Wees and woos

Needs Work

• Mina’s line of falling down, falling down, falling down low in verse 2 feels a bit too abrupt of a change

Core Memory

• While writing Trouble's review I had this song on repeat for my whole subway commute and I must've been so distracting, just head-bopping and being so invested in my enjoyment

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Need I say more, easy 9/10. The only reason I place Talk that Talk above Trouble is because of what that song represents but besides that, this is one of the best “international” sounds they’ve put out. Actually, I haven’t listened to Eyes wide open in a while but this song is up there with one of the most sonically pleasing pieces of work they’ve done.
Clubbing TWICE has always been a thing since TT was birthed in 2016, and has been a staple of their discography since 2019’s Fancy You and Feel Special mini albums, but Trouble unapologetically dives into and fits the house genre so well you’d think that this is TWICE’s bread and butter sound.
Trouble is Jihyo’s magnum opus. What a song.
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BRAVE BRAVE BRAVE
FOR YOU
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Brave 💖

Produced by Slow Rabbit
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I first thought this was just a good song, then I read the lyrics.
Gentle guitar plucks, shimmering synths, a distant keyboard in the right ear, in the left a glockenspiel, the melodic oohs from the members — this song is PRETTY.
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The night that was unusually dark
Above this terrifying world, felt so lonely
The world has grown in the time of wandering
So hard to breathe

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Mina and Chaeyoung open the song with how they feel lonely, that it's hard to breathe and now suddenly the song feels bittersweet — I was not expecting the song to become this emotional. Brave describes a situation where the singer is in a darker place in life and it isn't until another person gives them hope by calling them Brave that they find the drive to keep going.
Once the chorus hits, the melodies pick up, more guitars get added — there’s even an electric guitar hidden in the mix somewhere, and the song drops the emotional front to reveal a mid-tempo pop song to dance to while crying in the club. The song as a whole still carries this melancholy feeling, but now with the added support of the chorus, acting as a light amongst the gloom.
Continuing on in the second verse there's this gorgeous, well-placed break in the song that just lets it settle after that chorus. Only a seasoned producer would risk this much empty space in a song and Slow Rabbit went to fill those shoes.
Back to the chorus, I'll take this moment to once again commend Slow Rabbit with the mixing of the song, because 4MIX undoubtedly sounds good in the chorus, and the interludes from Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Mina also sound really good, but the clear highlight of the choruses are these lines:
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Oh na na na neon nal naige hae
On and on and on
Brave Brave Brave for ya
Oh na na na neon nal sum shwige hae
On and on and on oh trust me babe

​
Momo, Sana, and Tzuyu form this beautiful, surprisingly catchy, second half of the chorus accompanied by a guitar drop. It should not turn out this well with how conflicting the "na"s are with the guitar melody but it creates this gentle bopping ebb and flow that feels so lush and mellow.
Diving into the bridge reveals that the listener of the song is revealed not only capable of supporting the singer through direct words but also through their thoughts and dreams. As can be discerned, this can be a song interpreted to be about ONCEs, about how they push TWICE to be their best selves despite the breathless hardships they face. It's a very sweet and touching song.
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THE GOOD

• Special lyrics
• Pleasant sound to vibe out to
• That gentle break after the first chorus
• 3MIX poppin' off at the end
• Just very pretty vocals throughout

Needs Work

• Potentially hard to comprehend without translating the Korean lyrics

Core Memory

• Form of Therapy’s life motto revolves around the word “brave” — I don’t know where I got that from, but I remembered it right before watching his album reaction (yes, this is very random)

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I’m actually spoiled with the TWICE members’ easy-to-understand songwriting that when a song like this pops up where it's not written by a member and the thematic bits are mostly in Korean, I tend to put it aside in favour of the other songs on the album. And, especially for a song focusing on a theme like this where the English phrases don’t do the Korean lyrics enough justice, it does place a bit of a barrier on the listening experience, dropping it down to a 7/10 from an 8/10.
With that anecdote out of the way, this song is just such a vibe, man. I know that sounds super hippy to say but Brave is so mellow and smooth that I can’t help but sway a little when that chorus hits. And then I remember what the lyrics say and I tear up a bit on the inside. This song is so pure, raw, and full of heart — we need more songs like these where they just reminisce about life while putting up an upbeat front. Don't mind me just crying while dancing the night away.
With that said, this isn't the first time this theme has been sung by TWICE either, they've long trodden this path of supportive, confiding, up-lifting songs with Young & Wild, Rainbow, Queen, Go Hard, Depend on You, even this album's Queen of Hearts, and, of course, Feel Special. Brave just adds another on top of an already stacked lineup, unique with its mellow somberness.
Also now feels like a good time to get into my rating system:

• 7/10s are songs are ones that are simply good throughout or great songs with apparent flaws
• 8/10s are great songs with distinct killing parts
• 9/10s are borderline perfect songs where I sometimes can't comprehend how great they are
• And 10/10s are the best of an artist's discography, songs that encapsulate their ethos perfectly or expand upon them in a meaningful way

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I SEE THE LIES
ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE
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Gone 💨

Lyrics by Dahyun
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Who the fuck pissed off Dubu this time??
It’s getting quite rare to see TWICE pull off brand new sounds because, with now 190 original songs under their belt as of this review, they’ve done so many genres and sub-genres varying from hyper pop, to bossa nova, to whatever 2020’s Go Hard is. So it’s surprising to see they’ve still got tricks up their sleeves and Gone is one of them.
The song starts with strings swinging back and forth and vocal chops dancing from ear to ear, teasing what’s yet to come. Jihyo enters the song with a whisper and the song sets its pace. A stagnant drum pad moves the song along and typical song progression would have Mina continue the build, but — it doesn’t. The song simmers, adding a hint of high hat to the pot. And then Sana and Tzuyu come on and surely the buildup must boil over right?
Silence, until…
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I see the LIES on the top of your tongue

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The strings emerge again on full blast, the simmer rolls to a boil, and the anger of the song is revealed,
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All the fate I had towards you
Fades like a fog, Gone, Gone
Your flipping mind of doing this and that
I’m tired of it, it’s meaningless
In the beginning, it was hard to believe
With that, hatred increases

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The singer is so scorned and burned from this relationship that they reminisce about all the effort they’ve put in since the beginning, but their “partner” is so unconcerned that they’ve just about had enough of the relationship altogether.
This has been Dahyun’s thing since 2020’s Bring It Back, 2021’s Cruel, 2022’s That’s all I’m saying, and even 2023's Don't Blame It On Me — emotionally charged breakup songs that make you feel as if she’s survived through a dozen bad relationships. Dispatch, do try to do your job better.
Another highlight of the song is the post-chorus going into the bridge. This segment reiterates the structure from the first post-chorus — a barrage of drums supported by the rhythmic strumming of a bass guitar along with a consistent synth filling out the soundscape. But this time, it’s Dahyun and Chaeyoung on the rap:
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I can’t stand it anymore
My patience, invisible
I can’t find it, it’s all Gone
Even if I try to turn back, it’s too late
There’s no use anymore
It has left, it’s long Gone
You, with flipping mind, you are out
I know that you know what I’m talking about
Nothing you could say that could turn this around
I’m Gone

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Building upon the disrespected theme of the song, Dahyun notes that she’s finally had enough with Chaeyoung adding that there’s no point salvaging what love was once there. Momo and Dahyun round it off by telling the listener that there’s no point trying to reason with them or playing naive, they fucked up and there’s no coming back.
Can I just say, it's a bit of a shame that Chaeyoung’s rapping popped off in this album while Dahyun only has this one verse that she shares with Chaeyoung, but it just sounds so good how Dahyun eases in after the chorus with her light rapping tone transitioning into her singing. She even holds the Gone in a little crescendo for some added pizzazz.
And, there’s no way I’m not going to talk about Momo’s vocals in this bridge. Damned if she only got 1 line to use it in, her lower register is incredible. She sounds so smooth singing in this tone. All of TWICE do in particular and there is nary a weak vocal performance in this album.
To close the song off, a wash of synths gets to have their shine in the spotlight, showered with Nayeon’s belting, signifying the dramatic and drawn-out conclusion of this partnership.
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THE GOOD

• They’ve still got their surprises
• Thundering chorus
• 2nd rap and bridge combo
• A bitter, crumbling relationship theme

Needs Work

• I’m not a huge fan of the mixing during the first post-chorus, where Momo's vocals were fighting with the production, which is disappointing because Momo is capable of an insane flow
• The post-chorus in general, specifically the first one, can be a bit tiring on repeat listens

Core Memory

• Actually, I think this song sounds like a mix between GOT7's Not By The Moon, BLACKPINK’s Love To Hate Me, and Dahyun’s Bring It Back. I don’t know where I got this thought came from, but it stuck

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Going back to that point about the first post-chorus as a whole; songs that have the production continue unchanged into the post-chorus/2nd verse are very hit or miss for me — see TWICE's Don't Call Me Again for an overbearing example. The post-chorus going into the bridge contrasts Dahyun’s light tone nicely with the hard-hitting production, continuing the energy until it slowly fades into silence at the end of the bridge.
Back to the song as a whole, as much as TWICE has been experimenting with their sound for the past 4 years now, I’m happy they’re still finding new ways to explore what they’re capable of. And for that alone, even though I’m not a big fan of songs like these where they rely on sounding “big”, Dahyun’s lyricism and the thrill I receive every time I indulge myself in this song elevates it to an 8/10. Keep on breaking hearts, Dubu.
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INVINCIBLE
SUPERHEROES
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When We Were Kids 🧸

Lyrics by Dahyun
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Press play to reminisce, pull up lyrics to cry.
This song is so beautiful. I’m totally not writing this song review, crying on the bus reminiscing about my childhood, while just having turned 21. I don’t know if these are happy or sad tears but this song is so beautiful either way.
Warm synths, muted piano, a gentle high hat, the younger members starting off the song — this has to be up there for one of the softest TWICE songs ever. And as it should, it’s one of the TWICEiest songs ever. And then Nayeon comes in:
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Invincible superheroes, we wanted to be adults
To the higher, clearer world

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The chords start swelling, the high hat keeps pace, and the harmonies pour in.
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Remember When We Were Kids
When We Were Kids, we didn’t know
If we could go back
I will love it even more
Remember When We Were Kids

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Jihyo takes up the second half of the chorus as it drops, trading the strings for an almost R&B synth production — if choir R&B takes off, this song started it. The song relishes in this cacophony of warm sounds until returning to its sparse and peaceful verses.
This time, the hints of piano are louder, little twinkling synths begin to shimmer, the drum buildup comes and Jeongyeon drives the song straight into the chorus. No time for the strings to build like in Nayeon’s — this song loves its chorus so much.
And I'll just take this time to appreciate the amount and range of Jeongyeon vocals in this album. Her voice is so textured, stable, and projected — but also more tender and soft compared to the more pronounced tones of Nayeon and Jihyo.
The bridge comes in, repeating the phrase:
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I wish that I could meet
Could meet the younger me

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Giving the song time to rest, before building back up to the last chorus — this time led by Jihyo, completing the 3MIX trifecta. And interestingly enough, Chaeyoung follows up in the second half of the chorus, rather than another member of the vocal line. She really did pop off in this album.
As the last chorus begins to close, the percussion at its strongest, the harmonies on blast, the background vocals cranked up to their Sunday best, is the song going to end? Of course not! This is an album full of banger endings as if the songs don’t want to end, and When We Were Kids being the album closer very much indulges in that feeling.
After a brief refrain, accented by Nayeon’s high note with a touch of vibrato, the song almost dives back into a fourth chorus. Nayeon and Jeongyeon harmonize — a rare and heavenly moment. And the song repeats the bridge, reiterating that they want to meet their younger selves, this time with the lush chorus production before closing with silence, a few piano notes, and Tzuyu singing the last line of the song:
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Oh, we were kids

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Reflection, acceptance, hope. What a song.
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THE GOOD

• Heavenly vocals throughout
• Relatable, heartfelt lyrics
• Euphoric chorus
• Great closer to the album

Needs Work

• Refrain after the last chorus, Back When We Were Kids, could’ve been executed better

Core Memory

• For an album titled Between 1&2, I don’t think anything hits harder than finishing the song reviews, with this song in particular, during your 21st birthday

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I wrote the first part of this review in November 2022. Then university, life, and other things got in the way of my headspace for me to feel confident about wrapping all of this up. In a way, I felt like I just didn’t want this review to end because of the joy that writing gives me — I didn’t want the happiness to end. And then it hit me, after watching a YouTuber rank animated movies and them placing Spirited Away at the top and explaining 'why' reminded me of just how important growing up is, and by extension this song.
This theme is important for both the rookie TWICE members in 2015 and the teenagers who would follow their journey and grow up with them, facing life’s obstacles along the way. Hardships that used to only involve family, crushes, and social media, evolve into work, commitments and all the struggles that adult life brings. Being a kid and enjoying the simple things in life is one of the most sought-after moments we want to relive because we took growing up for granted. The only thing we can do now is look back on ourselves with fondness and rose-tinted lenses.
TWICE’s original meaning was to resonate with people through their senses and their hearts. That was during their debut, and I think it still holds up today. In my opinion, touching people through their emotions is what TWICE does best and makes them one of K-pop’s all-time greats. It was never about having the best numbers — it was about being the best idols. And to think that this journey of maturation and growth would occur from 2015 all the way to this song, being a fitting nod to TWICE’s 7th anniversary, I don’t think anyone at the company nor the group would ever imagine that they would get this far. It’s these nine women or none — 9/10.
This song honestly deserves a 10/10 with how much I noticed other people reminiscing their childhoods after I heard this song, it is such a widely-relatable message, but I am determined to limit myself to one 10/10 song per album and if I were to pick between TTT and WWWK, I'd give it to the one's that's more repeatable — Talk that Talk just has this electric energy about it.
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Epilogue

And finally here is the end. If you made it in one sitting then I commend you, because I could not write this mess in one sitting. As alluded to, I started writing this album review sometime in October, after a series of edits the first draft was finished in March, and now here's the final draft in June.
I love this album. It got me through some important parts of my life, both good and bad, and it's just a wonderful listen throughout. Reliving this album again before finally completing the review has been an exciting journey. Brave hit me harder this time, after being overshadowed by the other gems of this album, and WWWK finally got me to tear up and not just be emotionally satisfied.
I feel like there's something for everyone on this album. From the exhilarating thrills of TTT to the anthemic euphoria of QoH, the clubbing dichotomy of Trouble and Brave to the blissful glee of Basics, and the sweet reminiscence of WWWK to the thundering anger that is Gone. Like Eyes wide open, I liken Between 1&2 to a pop music taste platter — there's such an eclectic mix of pop music in this album that there's bound to be a song that someone will love, like, and dislike.
Is this album perfect? I don't think so, but it's close — it was certainly my 2022 AOTY. Was this review biased? Absolutely. I've been a fan since 2019 and with the themes in this album, I also feel like it was biased towards me as a ONCE. And how would I rank the album in TWICE's catalogue? It's honestly at the top, at least with EPs — I also felt that way towards Feel Special but then this album was birthed so I'm excited for TWICE's future.
Ready To Be was also a stunning album and Eyes wide open frankly also deserved the spotlight that Formula of Love received so I might hit those next but no promises; this album took long enough to bake.
As for the performances, I've only seen Twitter clips (no fancams to not spoil myself) and I am SO EXCITED to finally see them in July. QoH was as glorious as expected, Brave was a delightful surprise, and WWWK, while not being the concert closer everyone expected it to be, paired up nicely with Crazy Stupid Love. And of course the bombastic addition of the dance break to TTT. But, this is not a concert review, and here is where this album review ends.
Feel free to comment with any thoughts regarding the album, other TWICE albums, and any suggestions for my writing in general. Congrats again on making it this far!
God, I love this album.

Well, it finally happened. The very tough and shameful lesson that is learned after taking a bad fall without wearing a helmet. Let me start by saving you all the trouble of telling me that I am an idiot and thats what I get for not wearing a helmet. I am fully aware that I don't deserve sympathy, nor am I asking for it, because EVERYBODY knows that helmets are a necessity.
I put bout 1500 miles on my Pint last year and I have about 250 on my Pint X this year. Of course I have taken a few spills throughout those miles but never any head contact. They were painful, they sucked, and they were embarrassing but they only led to some cuts and bruises. Fast forward to May 14th 2023, AKA mothers day this year. All I remember is that I went for a sunset ride around 8pm and the next memory I have is waking up in the ER wearing a hospital gown, extremely confused at what was going on.
Once awake, I was promptly greeted by a kind nurse that didn't even wait for me to ask what was happening, instead she said hello and informed me that I was found unconscious in the middle of the road last night, fractured my skull, and had a brain bleed that was worsening. They also had a tight neck brace on me because they were unsure about fractured vertebrae. On day 4 I was allowed to remove the neck brace and I was transferred from the ER to the ICU. After three days in the ICU, the medical team determined my brain bleeding was not increasing and they felt comfortable discharging me that Sunday, a week after the accident. Sunday came around and I was very excited to get out of the robe, put on my own clothes, return home, and see my dog. This is great news right? Right! Well...unfortunately, when I was unconscious and being rushed to the hospital, the EMT's had cut my shirt off. As if I was not already feeling the shame of a non-helmet wearing injury, I got to catch an uber home wearing jeans and a hospital robe as my shirt.
The post-accident/hospital part of this has been far less exciting. I missed another week of work after being discharged. Most days I felt like I was underwater for half the day and I got the spins every time I would bend down, stand up, roll over in bed, etc. Anti-seizure pills for a couple days. Confusion and short-term memory problems. Having to explain to all the concerned friends and family what had happened with each response being either "what were you doing riding without a helmet!?" or "time for you to give up that onewheel!"
So here I am, a 31 year old lawyer with a couple weeks of brain bleeding, intense waves of dizziness and pain, a constant throbbing that changed positions in my head every hour or so, two weeks of missed pay, and likely a soon to be ambulance/hospital bill.
If you read my whole post then I have to say thank you and I appreciate you hearing me out. If you skipped all that then I at least hope you read this:
Do not be like me. Do not ruin an amazingly joyous hobby for yourself. Riding without a helmet does not increase the joy, nor does it make you look cooler...it just shows the world that you lack common sense. I must have read a dozen stories of people that have died or sustained life-long brain damage from a fall without a helmet yet for some reason I was convinced that it would never happen to me. Astonishingly... I was wrong. False-confidence is a very dangerous thing to rely on.
Do not be like me. Head injuries suck. They are not like other injuries you may have experienced. They are scary, confusing, and almost always require immediate and serious medical treatment. Do not jeopardize your future or your dreams, don't take your chances with permanent brain damage. Don't risk losing enthusiasm for what used to be your favorite activity.
I can't go back in time and I don't get a do-over, so now all I can do is pray that the worst is over and I didn't cause any permanent damage. The fantastic take away from my sob story is that whoever (if anyone) is reading this - you won't ever need to be hospitalized, full of regret and wishing for a time machine. Please do not be like me, just wear a helmet.

Wife and I are pretty deep in mostly unsecured debt, CCs and a CC refi loan, and four car loans. I was running a contracting business since 2019 and it has been incredibly slow since late 2022. I let my employees go, and am no longer needing two of the extra vehicles. We have four kids, one is about to be 18 and heading to university in the fall on grants. The other three are between four and 14 years of age.
She has been a government employee our whole adult lives and has a decent retirement. I recently became a government employee myself, but my whole monthly income after deductions is a bit more than $2k short of meeting our current monthly expenses without any extra spending. We will also have an additional $800+ in student loan payments starting again soon.
We rent from my parents and have fallen behind there also as they have been trying to help us avoid losing the vehicles that I have been using to operate my business. My only assets are some tools and a cargo trailer that I still use for small jobs, the vehicles are pretty much financed at the loan to value dollar for dollar. I am also on my teenage daughter’s car title as a requirement for the DMV and insurance, but she turns 18 this month and my plan was to take myself off the title and get her own insurance policy. We also have a timeshare that we bought 20 years ago and is paid off.
I have tried unloading a couple of the financed vehicles with no success, and we have over $80k in student loans about to resume that will cost us an additional $800+ each month. We also haven’t been able to afford to have our taxes completed for 2021 or 2022, we have until October for 2022 because we are in a natural disaster area and the whole area has been given the extension.
My questions are around the equipment and vehicles mostly. Can we each keep one financed vehicle as we both need transportation? What happens with my daughter’s car? Will they take the trailer and tools if I am still running a very scaled back business? What about our retirement accounts? We also bank at a local credit union, I assume they will close our accounts as we owe them nearly $50k in total, including the van she drives. Final question is how might this affect our daughter and her college financial aid?
I went through chapter 7 in 2003 for medical bills and loss of income after injury, things were much more cut and dry and laws have changed significantly since. Just not sure where to start and having major anxiety. She refuses to accept that we are sinking further even though we make CC payments every month and have to use the open credit to survive leaving us maxed out at the end of the cycle. We went through major relationship problems when we lost our home in 2009 because I was not working due to recession, not looking forward to the fallout of this. To date we have been paying most of our bills, sometimes barely before hitting 30 days late, except for the rent.
Thanks for the help in advance.

Given they are now the same price which one should I get for $200. This is up to $100 off on these items over the past few months. Cheapest either has been was 250 and highest was 350.
I have a single bank with a topper. It will be used for machinist tools and fixtures. Just extra storage as I'm running a little thin rn. Not professional or anything just my home shop (Tormach 1100 S3). The 1100 takes up a lot of space so realistically speaking adding one these to my existing cart is probably the most I can fit in my garage. Anything bigger and I'd have to really rework my garage and probably sell this single cap plus top. Maybe the next size up is a must, idk lmk if you think so
I was planning on getting the end cab last sale but didnt make it in time. I've seen the end cabs for $200 used before so I'm thinking this is the time for me. I havent noticed a deal this steep in a year or longer. I know there is a new S3 coming but I dont care about those differences
Also if you have the end cab, how big was the box? #sedanlife (I need a truck ffs)

It was hard work pushing papers down the long bench. Mr. Uoka found himself drinking tea and eating nutrient scnes with countless other bureaucrats. Suddenly, however, he found himself suddenly eating scones with Mr. Hay Rekk, and didn't quite know what to say. all of his imagined witty barbs and urbane comments disappeared when what remained of the man looked down on him, sneering through his photoreceptors. 'Hatarti.'
'It's-well-'
'Come into the damn conference room.'
Mr. Uoka practically tripped over himself to follow. Rekk kicked a number of people out of the conference room, stuffed a cipher secretary into a chair, and then began. 'Harati. We're fucked. You're fucked. I'm fucked. And I don't even have a penis or a butthole, that's how fucked we area. Nearly five billion...fucking...insane. Your trade bloc going down the drain. You think you can help. Make it quick, or I'll make it happen somehow.'
'Thank you, Chancellor. I...um. Well...this is a very complicated situation, as you well know, of course-'
Rekk sagged. 'Uoka.'
'Yes, sir.'
'I know. I know how your fucking kind talk-'
'Are-are you saying that I am lesser because I am a-?!'
'Stelliberal? Yeah. Fuck you, lib.'
'...oh.'
'Short words. Give your point. We don't have much time.'
'Yes. Rekk—we need market development. Not maket-lead or centric—development of the market itself. Not just the places-'
'Cashification. Specialization. Less farmers.'
'Yes-precisely. No more barter. More goods moving through markets. Less subsistence.'
'Wagies, then. Townies, or urban poor.'
'I support urbanization, sir.'
'Don't call me sir.'
'Ok. Urbanization. Towns cannot grow the requisite numbers to break out into proper cosmopolitanism.'
'What if we can get them commuting?'
'A good idea, if done, sir!'
'I'm gonna do it. The cities are getting cargo and people rail. Fancy people rail. Good people rail. Make them get around and keep mixing.'
'Wonderful! Perhaps they might have sports leagues-'
'Only if they have riot divisions.' 'Tragic, sirr-Chancellor.'
'Rekk. Liberal.'
‘What about local commuting, to bind the cities and townies into one greater mass?’
‘I’m working on it. Gonna do freight lines out, and if they don’t attack the trains, then we’ll move on maybe getting some of them on them. Cargo stakeholders first, then maybe passengers. That might take a generation, but I’m going to make it happen.’
'You should accelerate cashification.'
'I'm trying. Right now, we’re slowly doing money storage. Making local banks. Moving money still needs to be figured out. I can't fucking even let them consider paper, they'll go nuts.'
'Armored cars and trains, local banks being able to do deposit transfers? That kind of thing?'
'Armored trains are rolling out now. Banks are gonna get fucking permitted at some point. Their majesties want strong basic regulations. It'll go slow, but the problem is how heavy that shit is.'
'Yes, indeed. Perhaps one can make the coins self-lighten?'
'Good idea, lemme write that down.'
'Here is a white paper, chancellor.'
'Got it. Next. Fusion.'
'Yes. Fusion. Civil fusion. The power of a star. Will they get electricity?'
'Everything is electric for the clones already. Fixed the web, too. For the peasants? Fuck no. We're gonna dole out miracles slowly so they don't melt down street lamps to make into weapons. Biggest one is atmospheric nitrogen fixing. We'll give em superstitious fertilizer, not some crap. Use lightning banks. We're also gonna light up all the cities, and electrify all public buildings and entertainment areas. The towns are gonna have a slow drip of things, very slow. Elite exposure first, gauge fuckery. If they act up, beat them smart.'
'There's no personal incentive right now to electrify, Rekk. Outside of the workplace, are you trying to generate mass demand?'
'Yeah.' Rekk looked pensive. 'Get the kids. Get the house managers…err…wives. That’s what they’re called. Make work-life easier.'
'Perhaps you might offer rental machinery, to ease the-'
'...you have another white paper?'
'Indeed, Chancellor.'
'Give it. What else?'
'Well, there is the Shining Lord's legacy of...advanced sciences.'
Rekk sighed. 'Yeah. Fuckers. Peasants...we were wrong. Couldn't see. They'd been made weak many years ago, before we were made. Broken people. Lost their chances. Their wants. Their selves. You speak about consumers. Buyers. Wanters. Needers. These people can't want or need anything that the Golden Ones said was bad.' 'They can act on their own.'
'Yeah. Everything Kweens did is stuff they'd do on their own. Build them up comfortably. Make them feel better. Safer. Not terrified. You seen them.'
Mr. Uoka had. 'They need to be able to want again. Or to recognize that they have needs.'
'Yeah. No more fear. No more pain. No empty bellies, or sick ones.'
'They need healthcare.'
Rekk tried to sneer. 'Working on that. Real busy. You think I got a headshrinker?'
‘I think it would help.’
‘I got drugs. Why don’t you take some?’
Mr. Uoka reminded the Chancellor that he was a liontaur, and that clone drugs wouldn’t work on him. Chancellor Rekk reminded the consultant that he had tried clone drugs and that they’d worked. Both stared at each other for a moment before moving on.
‘Healthcare, Rekk. Healthcare. They need it. On all worlds’
‘The Sunforgelands are unfucking themselves.’
‘I’ve watched them begin to separate from Kabria and develop their own identity. Of course, they will not be one for quite some time. If peasant marketisation truly fails, then they will be the obvious backstop.’
‘Yeah. But I’m not counting on them. We’re gonna use fusion electricity here to make a lot of drugs for the cities. Really pump them up. Introduction will take a while. The cities will export them to the townies.’
‘But why will the townies even go to the cities?’
‘Unno. It’ll be easy. Maybe get some money. Maybe come back and work for more money and clout. Farming will keep getting easier, so less people for less farms.’
‘Will you truly make an effort to make powered farming equipment common again, Rekk? Or will you be defeated by someone being afraid of tractors?’
‘We won’t. But we will make fuel at home. And we will figure out which of the fucked up mosses and weird foxes won’t be killing people. Seeds-’
‘The biotechnology of the Shining Lords persists. But how much does it, truly?’
‘Enough for us to gather it up and use it, though. Against them. We will use their seeds, and their bugs, and their birds, and we will force them to give us honey and nectar and grain. And we’ll keep em in hives and tree trunks and in farmlands and in those fucking makeshift swamps. And we’ll eat em. Tear the head off and suck out the guts until the little legs kick, kick, kick…’ Rekk seemed to be having more fun thinking about torturing the old animals of the Shining Lords than anything else.
‘...do they have…sufficient nutritional value?’
‘Yes. Taste like shit.’
Mr. Uoka considered saying that if the clones thought something tasted like shit, it truly did, but he kept that thought to himself.
‘How much will you be allowing them to see?’
‘All of it, cause fuck em. Let’s scare 'em straight.’
‘...that is an unusual motivation, Rekk. But I admire your commitment.’
‘Yeah, yeah. We’ll knock in some gardens with nice plants that make medicines and antibodies and stuff, and we’ll give em nutritional supplements-’
‘And birth control.’
‘Yeah, good point. Don’t want too many of them. Abortions should be cheap, fast, and easy.’
‘And birth control, Chancellor.’
‘You mean like for-before they screw?’
‘Yes. It will lead to a significant amount of independence for women–I don’t think the Shining Lords allowed anything beyond the gender binary, did they–and break up some of the core cycles of reproduction with an Epistocided people.’
‘Put the paper on the table.’
Mr. Uoka obliged.
‘They’ll shit their pants, Haraati-’
‘Hatari.’
‘And we’ll make em clean up the shit, and dry it, and use it for fucking manure. I will drag these dense ass motherfuckers-literally half the goddamn time-to decency, whether they like it or not. They’ll farm the land, and they’ll pay taxes, and they’ll buy regional, and they’ll fucking like it. And if they cause problems, Mr. Uoka, I’m going to-’
‘To show them some fucking compassion. They’re scared children. That’s what they are deep down.’
‘No, we’re going to give the fuckers the baton and ten years fixing hedgerows with powered equipment.’
‘During the riots, I took shelter in a building with some clone functionaries–Happies, a few Biggies or specials. A number of peasants…I’m not sure, must have been about 60…broke in. They were going to burn the place down around us, and I was scared. They were ignoring commands, and we were prepared to shoot them, and then–well–I didn’t want to shoot them. So I roared. And threw a chair. They all fled. Not a shot fired. They were that easily scared off. You don’t have to beat them. You don’t need to be harsh all the time. Spare them, Rekk. I’m not asking for absolution, but don’t be like your makers. They’ll be better if they can relax comfortably; they’ve tasted a bit of safety with all of the turmoil. Let them keep eating.’
‘...target the stunting, huh?’
‘Above all else. The Shining Leeches enslaved-’
Rekk cut off Mr. Uoka with peels of laughter. He enjoyed the multifaceted implications of that insult: weaknesses, dependency on others, ineffectiveness, false bravado–and the chance to cut the stress. Eventually, he got back on topic.
‘...they used biology to enslave ourselves. We use biology to free ourselves. But this doesn’t cover the magic.’
‘It’s degraded a lot over time, right? And her majesty is satisfying the demands of many of the laws. So there should be no problem.’
‘I hope so. There’s…big changes coming. Stuff I can’t reveal to you. Yeah, the investors will like it. But it’s going to be big, Hattie.’
‘What is it?’ Mr. Uoka overlooked his name being messed up again.
‘The beginning of the end.’

You guys gotta help me on this, I'm sure Kyoshi does a bunch of cool stuff in her comic but I (like most ATLA fans, I suspect) have not read the comics so I won't be mentioning them here.
Is Kyoshi's reputation as "the badass avatar" really justified? You will find comments by the boatload of people watching any Avatar State clip and saying "oh man that was kyoshi coming out right there!!!" but I cannot see Kyoshi as anything but a pretty passive and even selfish character.
Kyoshi's biggest event in the show as we see it is when she proudly stands against Chin the Conqueror, defending her home and ending his reign swiftly and without mercy, liberating the Earth Kingdom from his terrible rule, right?
Yeah, kinda, if you remove all the context and over glorify it, that is what happens. In reality, Kyoshi did not lift a finger until Chin the Conqueror, the "horrible tyrant" as she says, comes to her doorstep and demands surrender. Admirably, Kyoshi ends the conflict without violence by demonstrating an absolutely insane show of force and completely separating her peninsula home from the mainland. Immediately after, Chin stupidly stands on a freshly terraformed cliff and falls to his death.
Does that not amount to Kyoshi running away?? She only inadvertently caused Chin's demise at BEST, unless there is something weird angle you could push that she was positive Chin's humiliation would cause to him just ending his own life? And all of that only AFTER he has evidently subjugated the entire continent.
She clearly is only fending for herself with a lack of regard for the rest of the Earth Kingdom (Seriously, she couldn't have even known she stopped Chin until much later!) Not to mention that during Avatar Day and when Aang connects with her in book 3, Kyoshi weirdly takes continuous credit for Chin's murder, acting like what she did was a clear cut strike for justice for the Earth Kingdom. Aang actually clarifies to her that she clearly did not kill Chin, his demise was of his own accord and she just says "I disagree?" like bro, thats not how it works LOL, you can feel like you killed Chin because that makes you look better after the fact but that's seriously just not what happened.
All in all, I really do like Kyoshi and even this (imo more accurate) characterization as some history revisionist trying to make herself look better makes her a very compelling character. I still cannot shake the frustration I feel when I see fan after fan holding the opinion that Kyoshi is "the badass one." I even asked my friend on Discord what he thought of Kyoshi (I believe he has only seen ATLA all the way through 1-2 times) based off what he could remember and he of course said "Badass." When I asked him why, he said "That time he took over Aang and said 'im gonna kill you all' to the villagers." That is of course not what happened, but it's just funny that that is what he remembered about the "badass avatar."
What do you guys think? I'd actually love if the comic readers could tell me more about Kyoshi and if there's any extra extra context surrounding the events that makes Kyoshi seem less passive and willing to let tyrants do whatever they want, or if my read on the events are wrong in general

CRA says for Class 8 "Class 8 (20%)
Class 8 with a CCA rate of 20% includes certain property that is not included in another class. Examples are furniture, appliances, and tools costing $500 or more per tool, some fixtures, machinery, outdoor advertising signs, refrigeration equipment, and other equipment you use in the business.
Photocopiers and electronic communications equipment, such as fax machines and electronic telephone equipment, are also included in Class 8."
Furniture I purchased for the airbnb, most of it is under $500 but collectively it's a lot more. I intended to write off say a mattress that is $400 purchased at Costco with a bedframe purchased at Ikea for $229 which would put the "bed" over $500 so this would be Class 8, depreciable.
For furniture like a coffee table that is $199.99, it appears I would not depreciate it but write it off the year purchased (because it is under $500.00). Same for Ikea dishes, or towels, bedding etc.
Is this correct?
Edited to add Class 12 which is 100% deductible in the year of purchase (so kitchen utensils for the airbnb):
Class 12 (100%) Class 12 includes property such as tools, medical or dental instruments, and kitchen utensils that cost less than $500 and were acquired on or after May 2, 2006.
Class 12 includes china, cutlery, linen and uniforms. It also includes video-cassettes, video laser discs and digital video disks that you rent and do not expect to rent to any one person for more than 7 days in a 30-day period.
Most small tools in Class 12 are not subject to the half-year rule. They are fully deductible in the year of purchase. If the tool costs $500 or more, include it in Class 8 with a CCA rate of 20%.
Class 12 tools that are subject to the half-year rule include dies, jigs, patterns, moulds and lasts, as well as the cutting or shaping part of a machine.

I think I like starting these with music now.
A young man in nothing more than a ski mask and a black hoodie walks the street, looking confused and aimless. As he does this, three men some block or two down are chasing a scared man in a suit and tie. The kid in the hoodie rounds the corner, and suddenly he and the man in the suit are in a heap on the ground.
He scrambles to his feet as the three men grab the man he bumped into, and begin to beat him.
"Thanks, kid," He hears one of the men say as his senses slowly come back to him. He shakes his head, trying to think of what to do in the situation. His fight or flight kicks in, and he doesn't know what to do. He stands there, his hands at his side, seemingly frozen. Before he can even realize what he is doing, however, he finds himself marching towards the men. Onlookers watch in quiet confusion at the scene.
If he really wants to do this, he can't let his fear dictate everything he does anymore. His voice comes out a bit shaky.
"Hey, leave him alone!"
One of the men quickly turns and punches him straight in the face. He falls to the ground holding his nose, which is to be expected from his scrawny stature, as one of the men spits on him and walks away, leaving him with a simple "It's none of your business, freak! Now buzz off."
He slowly stands up, looking down at his arm as yellow energy begins to crackle around it. He lets out a gasp as he tries to catch his breath, his adrenaline pumping. He can hear his own heartbeat, the pulse of it thumping in his head as he slowly makes his way onto his feet. He doesn't even have to think about what he says next, his voice shaky and his body already clearly winded from the punch.
"Yes, it is!"
The man who punched him turns around just in time to get punched straight in the chest and sent flying back past his other two friends. The two look behind them, clearly in shock, before turning their full attention to the man in the mask. He shakily adopts a fighting stance, clearly not experienced in fighting whatsoever, as he looks wildly at the two men ahead of him.
"He's one of those... Those freaks!"
The boy in the mask notices he may just have an upper hand in the situation if he can just exploit their fear.
"Yeah, that's right! And I'll... I'll zap you if you don't let him go!"
The two men look over at each other, before one of them gets out a pistol and points it at him.
"You really wanna do this, punk? The hell's wrong with you, going out dressed up like that? You trying to die for some guy you don't even know? How about you just walk away before we find out how strong you really are."
He falters for a moment. He guesses he isn't exactly in a position to be intimidating after already getting pummeled to the ground once. He nervously swallows, legs shaking as he keeps his footing.
"N-No! Never. Three thugs laying into one guy, thinking they can just get away with it while everyone else watches? And you want to know what's wrong with me? I'm the freak because I don't want to sit by and watch as you continue to scare the people in the place I call home? If I'm a freak for doing what's right, then I'm a freak who'd rather die than see you around here again. So... So bring it on!"
The man with the pistol clicks the safety off and lines up a shot as energy begins to crackle around the kid's arms once more. Suddenly, the kid in the mask screams as he runs towards the two men.
"Now back the hell off!"
In the streets of New York, people reflexively duck at the sound of gunfire.
Hey all! Sorry for the long post, I guess my muse is just high and I want to give some kind of writing sample. It's not really representative of what character or setting I'd like to write in, so much as a vibe, I suppose? Either way, I'm back!
This time I've come with a prompt that's recently come to mind after rekindling my relationship with my comic collection. I would like to, alongside someone, write a Superhero story together! At the risk of talking too much, allow me to elaborate:
I want to create a story you could feasibly see in a comic book. A tale of people with extraordinary doing things to help others, not because they want fame, or recognition, but because they feel they have to do what's right. Whether that's a setting heavily inspired by a preexisting franchise, or something entirely unique is fine with me! It's about the story to me. The only thing I request is that our characters aren't pre-existing ones!
For organization's sake, we would be using a discord server to keep everything tidy and organized!
As a player, I can offer enthusiasm, creativity, commitment to both the game and the story itself, and a genuine love for storytelling and connecting with my fellow storytellers! I'd love to have a genuinely fun and engaging time wherein I am both challenged as a writer to make something interesting, but also having fun making something I and someone I hope to call a friend can be proud of.
As a DM, while I'm not experienced with every system, I feel like I make up for that inexperience with how well experienced I am with making plot threads and a world that feels both engaging and full of possibilities! I feel like I especially excel whenever I can plan things out with my players, though that doesn't mean that I don't like keeping some of my plans under wraps either ;)
I don't have a particular system in mind, because I've never really tried any Superhero themed TTRPGS, which brings me to the next part of the ad. I would like to try to learn a system through this! Whether that be something I've heard about, such as Masks, or something I've never heard of before. Either or is fine by me! As long as you're patient and willing to work with me, I would like to learn a system that would fit what we want to write!
In terms of setting, I'm definitely more interested in light hearted with some serious moments rather than gritty all the time. Think less DC, more Marvel. And, as always, I would like for this to be a Long-Term arrangement!
Some things about myself, should you want to know:

• I am 19! As such, I would like my partner to at least be 17+
• I am pansexual! As a member of the LGBTQ, I would like my partner to be comfortable and okay with my identity, sexuality, and so on!
• I use Any/All pronouns!
• I draw a lot! Like a lot a lot. If our story/writing gets us particularly invested, there's a likelihood I will draw our characters! Hell, for one of my responses to my last ad, I started making a short comic!
• I tend to write a lot, if that wasn't obvious by this ramble of a post. This is especially true whenever I have a lot of things to describe, or very high muse for a situation. As such, I can tend to write a fair bit! Obviously, when it comes to things like combat, dialogue, etc etc, that length is subject to change. There's no real quota for me to meet or anything, nor is there one for you! I don't expect you to match my post length, all I ask for is effort and a show of interest! If your post is well written and I can tell you're putting in the effort and genuinely like what we're writing, we're good!
• I've been roleplaying and playing TTRPGs regularly for about 6 years now, and dabbling with them for upwards of 9, though the exact amount is a bit fuzzy. I've also been very into writing for 8, but have always wanted to make stories even at a young age. I wouldn't say I'm the best writer ever, but I am relatively experienced, and hope that I can make something interesting, engaging, and worthwhile for the both of us!
• I like to discuss with my partner what we are and aren't comfortable with appearing in the roleplay before we begin, so expect me to ask!
• You can call me soft for this if you'd like, but I generally don't prefer to kill off player characters without permission! I like to let characters finish their stories instead of cutting them short. I'm here for a story, not a struggle for survival.
• If anything comes up that I am uncomfortable with, I will tell you! I hope you will do the same! This is intended to be fun, and I would like for it to stay that way :)
• I'm looking forward to making friends with you! I don't want to treat roleplay as some "professional" thing, and I'd like to use it to meet new and interesting people!
• I prefer to write third person past or present tense!

If you're creative, willing to bear with me when it comes to mechanics, and have the same craving to write about the adventures and exploits of dudes in superhero outfits, feel free to message me! Be sure to send me your favorite joke and/or work the word "Hypochondria" into your message to me, so I know you read everything! (Or at least did a semi-thorough job skimming this in order to see this). Please note that if you don't, your message may be ignored or given lower priority than others that do!
Again, sorry for the wall of text. I always tend to get nervous before posting these. Nevertheless, I'm excited to see the comic-booky adventures we can get into together! Can't wait to see who reaches out :)

Yankees @ Dodgers - Sun, Jun 04

Game Status: Final - Score: 4-1 Yankees

Links & Info

• MLB Gameday
• Game Graphs
• Savant Gamefeed

	Yankees Batters	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	K	LOB	AVG	OBP	SLG
1	Torres - 2B	4	0	0	0	1	1	1	.258	.333	.422
2	Rizzo - 1B	3	1	0	0	1	2	2	.293	.365	.484
3	Stanton - DH	4	0	1	0	0	2	2	.271	.306	.593
4	Calhoun, W - LF	2	0	0	0	1	0	0	.241	.314	.380
	Cabrera, O - LF	1	0	0	1	0	0	1	.199	.249	.314
5	LeMahieu - 3B	4	0	0	0	0	3	3	.239	.301	.396
6	Bauers - RF	4	1	1	0	0	1	0	.238	.342	.524
7	Kiner-Falefa - CF	3	1	1	0	1	0	0	.222	.269	.341
8	Higashioka - C	4	0	0	1	0	0	2	.209	.258	.363
9	Volpe - SS	4	1	2	2	0	1	1	.193	.268	.363
	Totals	33	4	5	4	4	10	12

Yankees
BATTING: 2B: Stanton (4, Phillips, E). HR: Volpe (9, 9th inning off Ferguson, 1 on, 2 out). TB: Bauers; Kiner-Falefa; Stanton 2; Volpe 5. RBI: Cabrera, O (17); Higashioka (15); Volpe 2 (26). 2-out RBI: Volpe 2. Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: LeMahieu 2; Stanton; Volpe. Team RISP: 1-for-8. Team LOB: 6.
FIELDING: Pickoffs: Peralta, Wa (Smith, W.D. at 1st base).

	Dodgers Batters	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	K	LOB	AVG	OBP	SLG
1	Betts - RF	4	0	0	0	0	1	1	.257	.362	.532
2	Freeman, F - 1B	4	0	0	0	0	1	1	.331	.402	.558
3	Smith, W.D. - C	3	0	0	0	1	0	0	.308	.411	.521
4	Muncy - 3B	4	0	0	0	0	2	0	.203	.333	.513
5	Martinez - DH	4	1	1	1	0	1	0	.276	.316	.621
6	Peralta - LF	3	0	2	0	0	0	0	.242	.277	.348
7	Vargas, M - 2B	2	0	1	0	1	0	1	.227	.330	.414
8	Taylor, Ch - SS	3	0	0	0	0	2	2	.211	.279	.474
9	Outman - CF	2	0	0	0	1	1	0	.230	.319	.454
	Totals	29	1	4	1	3	8	5

Dodgers
BATTING: 2B: Peralta (6, Germán). HR: Martinez (14, 7th inning off Germán, 0 on, 2 out). TB: Martinez 4; Peralta 3; Vargas, M. RBI: Martinez (41). 2-out RBI: Martinez. Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: Taylor, Ch; Freeman, F; Vargas, M. Team RISP: 0-for-3. Team LOB: 4.
FIELDING: E: Muncy (6, fielding); Graterol (2, throw).

Yankees Pitchers	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR	P-S	ERA
Germán	6.2	4	1	1	1	6	1	99-71	3.69
Holmes (W, 4-2)	1.0	0	0	0	1	2	0	17-12	2.84
Peralta, Wa (S, 4)	1.1	0	0	0	1	0	0	18-9	2.84
Totals	9.0	4	1	1	3	8	1

Dodgers Pitchers	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR	P-S	ERA
Miller, B	6.0	1	0	0	2	7	0	86-57	1.06
Graterol	1.0	2	1	0	0	2	0	16-13	1.82
Phillips, E (L, 1-1)	1.0	1	1	1	1	0	0	20-12	1.99
Ferguson	1.0	1	2	2	1	1	1	23-13	2.14
Totals	9.0	5	4	3	4	10	1

Game Info
WP: Ferguson.
Pitches-strikes: Germán 99-71; Holmes 17-12; Peralta, Wa 18-9; Miller, B 86-57; Graterol 16-13; Phillips, E 20-12; Ferguson 23-13.
Groundouts-flyouts: Germán 9-1; Holmes 1-0; Peralta, Wa 2-1; Miller, B 8-2; Graterol 1-0; Phillips, E 2-0; Ferguson 2-0.
Batters faced: Germán 24; Holmes 4; Peralta, Wa 4; Miller, B 22; Graterol 5; Phillips, E 5; Ferguson 5.
Inherited runners-scored: Holmes 1-0.
Umpires: HP: Ryan Blakney. 1B: Marvin Hudson. 2B: Hunter Wendelstedt. 3B: John Tumpane.
Weather: 72 degrees, Partly Cloudy.
Wind: 6 mph, Out To RF.
First pitch: 4:10 PM.
T: 2:35.
Att: 52,816.
Venue: Dodger Stadium.
June 4, 2023

Inning	Scoring Play	Score
Top 7	Kyle Higashioka grounds out, shortstop Chris Taylor to first baseman Freddie Freeman. Jake Bauers scores.	1-0 NYY
Bottom 7	J.D. Martinez homers (14) on a fly ball to left center field.	1-1
Top 8	Oswaldo Cabrera grounds out, second baseman Miguel Vargas to first baseman Freddie Freeman. Anthony Rizzo scores. Giancarlo Stanton to 3rd.	2-1 NYY
Top 9	Anthony Volpe homers (9) on a fly ball to left center field. Isiah Kiner-Falefa scores.	4-1 NYY

Team	Highlight
NYY	Bullpen availability for New York, June 4 vs Dodgers (00:00:07)
LAD	Bullpen availability for Los Angeles, June 4 vs Yankees (00:00:07)
NYY	Fielding alignment for New York, June 4 vs Dodgers (00:00:11)
LAD	Starting lineups for Yankees at Dodgers - June 4, 2023 (00:00:09)
NYY	The distance behind Anthony Volpe's home run (00:00:14)
NYY	Wandy Peralta gets the final out (00:00:10)
NYY	Anthony Volpe's two-run homer (9) (00:00:29)
NYY	Oswaldo Cabrera's RBI groundout (00:00:21)
LAD	J.D. Martinez's solo homer (14) (00:00:29)
NYY	Kyle Higashioka's RBI groundout (00:00:19)
NYY	Field View of Volpe's homer (00:00:42)
LAD	Bobby Miller K's Jake Bauers (00:00:07)
NYY	Domingo Germán K's Max Muncy (00:00:09)
	Sarah Langs on ALS and baseball (00:01:53)
	Examining the fence Judge damaged (00:01:55)
LAD	Bobby Miller fans seven (00:01:08)
LAD	James Outman mic'd up in 3rd (00:03:49)
NYY	Giancarlo Stanton's double (00:00:24)
NYY	Stanton talks playing in LA, more (00:00:39)
LAD	Wandy picks off Smith in 9th (00:00:59)

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9		R	H	E	LOB
Yankees	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	1	2		4	5	0	6
Dodgers	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0		1	4	2	4

Decisions

• Winner: Clay Holmes (4-2, 2.84)
• Loser: Evan Phillips (1-1, 1.99)
• Save: Wandy Peralta (4, 2.84)

Division Scoreboard

TB 6 @ BOS 2 - Final
TOR 6 @ NYM 4 - Final
BAL 8 @ SF 3 - Final
Next Yankees Game: Tue, Jun 06, 07:05 PM EDT vs. White Sox (1 day)
^{Last Updated: 06/04/2023 10:47:49 PM EDT}

I started dating a guy around 6 months ago now. He lives in America, I am in the UK. It has been very tough at times, but I felt like it was doing pretty well for a bit. Then suddenly 3 weeks ago my hormones go crazy (I did start taking a contraceptive jab two weeks before this and those first two weeks were the best I have ever felt) and I have such severe anxiety all the time. I do normally have this happen, but not for this long. Normally I will ask for some space from the guy I am dating for a couple of days, then it sorts itself out.
Well this time I was so anxious that every time I tried to give myself space I found it extremely difficult. He would message me after I asked for space, and it would lead me to message him back. I know he was just trying to be supportive, and probably didn't expect me to answer back, but I just wasn't thinking particularly straight.
I am also very emotional at the moment as I am in a job that demonises my autism and there is a lot of pressure on me to complete a project I am working on. Then I am also trying to get mental health support and look for a new job. Oh and I am actively trying to exercise, do mental health exercises, and learn new skills (right now I am working on learning Thai).
Jump cut to a couple of days ago. I normally stream Friday afternoons and the guy I am dating happened to be streaming too. He asked me if I would like to play RuneScape with him, and I am super excited about this because we rarely play video games together.
Jump cut to streaming with him, I was really upset as he didn't really hang out with me. I didn't realise at the time he was talking to his chat a lot (he mutes himself when he talks to them) and that he had already been streaming a long time so was very tired. I was also very tired and I think I got irritable with him so started messing about. He got annoyed and left me be, except I didn't realise he was annoyed. Basically whole stream was a mess. I left the discord call after 2 hours because I was so miserable.
So after I finish streaming I messaged him on Discord to let him know I was upset. Then the messages just started spiralling. I feel really bad as I just went through everything that upset me. I did try and end it in a good way, saying how much I just wanted to be with him. I was really annoyed that he messaged the next day saying I needed to have my own independence outside of our relationship. It pissed me off so much. We did clear up most of the issues, but I never brought up how annoyed I was that he had said that. I am giving myself a couple of days from him now, deleted Discord from my phone to make sure I don't fixate. I will probably feel better in a few days, but it is really hard to know sometimes.
I will admit, I might have hung out with him a lot more than normal the last week as I have been working from home recently. But I am just jumping onto his streams. I do message him in his chatbox, but mostly when there aren't other people watching the stream live.
He has been opening up a lot more to me recently, and it has been so nice. I am worried though that this argument will have him clamping up a bit more again. To me it doesn't really feel resolved, but I know he probably thinks it is. It is just super hard sometimes as he really dislikes calling on discord, and I need to see his face sometimes to see if he is actually pissed. Like I said before though, I am having a couple of days off from him, so I am sure I will cool down by the time I next talk to him.
I am thinking of just having a week off from him as I am juggling so much right now. I have two interviews lined up this week. Rather annoyingly it turns out I fucked up the application for one of them so I now can't go to it. Then the other interview wants me there for 8:30am, so I am going to need to wake up at 3 amish to get there. I was planning to get a train which is 2 hours, but to get the train at 5:30 am means I have to walk 2 hours to the train station. As I write this I realise it might really help to book a taxi.
I am just so freaking stressed about the interview. I have no time to actually prepare for it because work has been so hectic too. I have to keep making doctors appointments and fit them around my work, and it is becoming a nightmare. I feel exhausted all the time right now too which has been making it super hard to work.
So yeah, lots of stress in life right now. The bad date was just the nail in the coffin. It should resolve itself overtime, but I am just so het up right now.