Mobile homes for sale in nh

Hey guys. Need some advice, Im under contract on a three family home here in NY for an off market deal. I originally got the preapproval for the asking price everything was perfect, they said i qualified and everything. Now that the contract is signed (looking to close at the end of the month) my loan officer is saying they can’t approve it… so what was the point of giving the preapproval for the official purchase price. If worse case scenario they can’t approve my mortgage after giving me a preapproval saying I do qualify for it can I hold them liable for breaching my contract in a scenes ? What can I do

My grandma is dying. She broke her hip about a month ago and has been in rehab and a nursing home since getting out of the hospital. Now her health is declining and she probably won’t make it past this next week. I can’t be there with her because we are in the middle of moving and have to be out by Wednesday. At least my mom and her sisters are there with her.
Speaking of moving, we sold the house last week and we have to be out really soon. It’s only me and my dad moving all of our stuff one car load at a time across town to a house that’s still under construction so the transition will be a bit rocky for a few more months.
We have a couple 8 month old retriever puppies that are more than a handfull. We can’t hardly let them into the backyard because it’s been raining and they go digging and swimming in the mud and bring it inside. They also chewed a hole in the wall tonight for whatever reason and that stressed out my dad quite a bit. They have so much energy. I walk them about an hour and a half pretty hard every day and then play with their toys on and off throughout the day as well. They just love to destroy shit. We love them to death but they are extremely hard to train and barely respond to treats.
Adding all of this on top of my chronic headaches that have gotten worse over the last couple years and I’m just in a really stressful time. I know it will pass but it just sucks right now and I need to vent it a bit.
That’s all I guess.

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sorry, I just need to share this door knock experience I had today.
I just had the Jehovah's Witnesses call. One of them knew my deceased mother and myself though I can't recall his name but I was surprised they called. I've been waiting for this but still my heart was beating fast. After my pimi father passed away my elderly pimi mother lived here with me until her death a couple years ago due to not accepting a blood transfusion. When I heard the knock on the door I was surprised since I had been through the angry phase of grief and leaving a cult so the local JW’s knew my feelings. I’ve since calmed down and am now probably more in the activism phase having spent time recently talking to the JW’s on the carts, usually until they left the area, or until I got bored and left. I was still surprised one of them would venture back to my place. Anyway we caught up about mum initially then started talking about the bible. I tried to ask what evidence there was for the bible being a true document from God and they talked about the resurrection being evidence, so I asked for proof but they just pointed to the bible so I said that the bible makes lots of claims but how do you know they’re true, it says that God created plants before the sun and bee's...thousands of years apart, despite it saying “an evening and a morning a new day” after each creative day so why would they not be 24 hours days. Even your creation video online says it was written from a human perspective but they're not 24 hour days? They kept talking about water above and waters below and that they cleared to reveal the sun. I showed them the flat earth model on my phone and said read it again looking at that picture and you'll see it's talking about a flat earth model.
They disagreed but couldn't defend it so kept saying the same thing. I had my bible by this time and my "was life created" brochure and tablet with the references from the brochure. I tried to argue the bible's account of creation was flawed and not scientific. The creative order is wrong and doesn't work creating plants before the sun and bee's. They kept trying to say that there were waters above that filtered the sun despite me showing them verse 16 where it says God made the sun and moon…on day 4, not made it visible. They said that it was just a summary of the previous day so I pointed out that day 3 ends at vs 13 and day 4 ends at vs 19 so wouldn't everything between be what happened on day 4? They wouldn’t agree and I forgot to ask them about why the creation order is different in Chapter 2 from vs 4 but if they come back I’ll be able to save that one.
Anyway I then showed then the “Was life created” brochure and asked why the Watchtower misquotes scientists and showed them the quote of Wolf-Ekkehard Lonnig in the paper “mutation breeding, evolution and the law of recurrent variation” where they add a capital “M” and mine quote a section to say that “Mutations…” do not create new species when the paper actually says that it is not viable…not that it’s not possible.
I tried to ask them what the Watchtower had done to show them that God supports them. What evidence has the WT supplied? The men that say they represent God but have to lie to provide evidence of his existence like in the brochure I showed them. They tried to say that they supported people in natural disasters so I had two questions, 1, show that they helped anyone that wasn’t a JW and 2. Show exactly in their financial records which disasters they gave to and how much? I said that other organizations did a lot more at natural disasters so does that mean that God is behind those groups instead or as well? Again I came back to what evidence has the WT provided to support their claim that God supports them?
They then said that obviously I didn’t like them to which I quickly replied, “no, you’re wrong” I have no animosity to Jehovah's Witnesses, I feel sorry for them allowing the WT organization to continue to tell them lies that they won't fact check. I’m disappointed that they won’t research anything without using WT material and that you’re allowing the WT corporation to fleece you. I wanted to say like lambs to the slaughter but wanted to keep it light. I don’t understand why anyone would think being told to be sheeplike is a good thing. I continued, the WT buy and sell properties and make the Jehovah's Witnesses pay for them. They don’t provide any social services or aged care facilities. To which he agreed and said “No, they don’t”, I continued that they don’t care for the elderly in their homes, they provided nothing for my mother who was a lifelong member, I had to provide her a safe home in her golden years because the WT had taken every bit of spare money from my parents over their life and told my parents “don’t worry, the end of the world is coming soon”. They’re building a big new video studio in Australia but the end is so close, the last of the last days. To which he quickly added that it will be used after Armageddon so I said, Oh is God going to protect them, is that in the bible? Do you have a scripture to back that statement up? He didn’t so I continued, they’ve sold all those properties in NY and even the local KH making my elderly mother have to travel 10 times further to a local hall. Expect to be told that you need to buy them a new KH here to replace the one they sold, sometime soon and if the organization is growing why did they sell off the local KH?
He evaded that question by asking if I had ever brought up these views with my mother when she was alive and I said no. She was safe here in her golden years but I knew that you are told that if anyone says anything bad about the WT or questions it that you have to flee. If I had said anything to her I knew she would have tried to leave this safe environment. I returned to, what is it that proves to you that God supports the Watchtower? He tried to say that he follows Jesus but I said so without the WT you could still follow Jesus? But he didn’t reply to this and was starting to leave at this point. I said I really urge you to do some research outside the WT material. I looked him in the eye and said calmly, “you’re not going to do that are you?”. To which he admitted he wouldn’t, I nodded and said “I know” it’s a pity that you’ll continue to allow the WT to lie to you and the brochure “was life created” has many examples of how they twist things to say what they want it to say…but’s it just lie’s. I’m really sorry you won’t do any real research but you’re welcome to come back and talk some more about it, I really enjoyed our talk. Then I looked him in the eyes again and calmly said “you’re not going to come back, are you?”, to which he replied no as I expected.
If you’re the person that came to my door today and are reading this, please come back when you’re ready to talk some more. We don’t dislike Jehovah's Witnesses, we dislike that you’re being lied to by the Watchtower Organisation.
Stay safe friends.

A few years ago my grandfather died. He had several real estate partnerships he was a part of that went into a trust for his estate then after the estate was settled into a trust for his daughter, my aunt, with me as the trustee.
Now one od those partnerships sold its real estate holding and my Aunt received a distribution and Im attempting to figure out if I need to make a tax payment. Does she get a stepped up cost basis at some point, either my grandfathers death or when the trust was created? How do I establish the cost basis? Ive spoken to several people who seemed like they should know and theyve all said different things.
Here is part of the response from the managing partners.
"We do not know yet what the total taxable income will be from the sale as we are still dealing with some outstanding issues and a final K1 will not be issued for a couple of years since we have to hold on to some funds in case uninsured claims arise from the time period that we were owners. Her distribution itself will not be taxable but she will have 5.625% of the taxable income from the sale. Most of the income will be long-term gains. But it's best to have a CPA give advice on this."
I am unsure how to interpret this as he says it will not be taxable but then goes on to say it will be long term capital gains.
Any guidance or help would be appreciated.

My fiance and I are buying a house with an acre of lightly wooded back yard. We don't have a patio or anything with solid ground outside and the neighbors are a normal middle class suburban distance from us, if that makes sense (some lawn between us but no one owns an estate). The yard is beautiful, fenced, and mostly flat. Beyond the back of the yard is a stretch of woods and an interstate, which is typically quiet unless some AH with a motorcycle goes by.
Ideally I would like to invite about 100 people but am doubting that many of those people would be able to show up (they would travel across the country, many with small children). I have been considering various venues but have started to wonder if it would be cheaper to host the wedding at my new house and just hire catering and a live band. I'm not sure if that would work and haven't figured out many details at this stage. Here are my questions:

1. How do you deal with not upsetting the neighbors with the noise? I thought maybe telling them ahead of time and inviting them to come to the reception would be nice, but it wouldn't really fix that I assume things would be loud until the party ends. The whole thing would be outdoors, after all. The inside will not be updated for some time and isn't really a good entertaining space in its current state. I have to budget for one thing at a time, here.
   
2. How much space do I need for that many people? I have no sense of that. For the reception, I thought about renting a dance floor, having an area for outdoor games, and tables (obviously). Do I even have enough room? I've heard that it might be best to use the front for the ceremony and the back for the reception but I'm not sure that would be so great since the front is just a small lawn and there would be a lot of cars along the street right there... There is a nice hazelnut tree on the edge to the side out front. Maybe diagonal toward the tree so we aren't all facing the road. Idk about that one...
   
3. How do you handle rain in a wooded yard? I would imagine tents would be an issue. I'm not sure how to do that. Am I just screwed?
   
4. Would catering use my kitchen? Is that a thing? I wouldn't mind and it might make things easier for drinks to be served from the kitchen but I don't know how that works. Do I need a separate space for food and bar people?
   
5. Is it silly to invite people to travel for a backyard wedding? I'd be self conscious about it.
   
6. I have 4 spare bedrooms but we don't have beds for them yet (we are upgrading and have to do these things slowly) so perhaps some of the wedding party can crash if we figure something out for furniture. Would I want them to? Tell me from experience please!
   
7. Will this really save us a lot given that we have to hire staff and catering and rent accommodations like chairs/tables/tents etc instead of having that all included in the wedding package? I was hoping this would free up money for a band/entertainment or maybe we'll pocket it and put it towards the home improvements.
   
8. Anything I haven't considered that I need to know?
   

Hello, any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
My dad has a history of obesity, asthma, HLD, and he is pre-diabetic. Family history of his father dying from ICH due to HTN and multiple CVAs.
My dad went to the ED for angina and SOB with a pressure of 220/140. Normal O2 sats. He ended up being sent home with a SBP of 190s. I sent him back the same day as his BP went up again to 218/118. He was still symptomatic and they trended his trops, did an EKG that was NSR (HR steadily 80s) did an echo that was normal but he did have some cardiac thickening. Normal CXR. Eventually they gave him some nitro paste which helped his chest pain and they gave him nifedipine ER 60mg as well as a daily dose of benezapril. They sent him home with SBP 160s, but it went to SBP 210s quickly. He cannot see a PCP until 2 weeks from now. The hospital won’t keep him!
Can I manage this with some metoprolol ER or any other meds? Increase the frequency of the nifedipine? Or? The hospital staff made him feel dumb for going in and I’m seriously worried with his symptoms :( they also at some point gave him an unknown dosage of KCl by mouth.

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Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
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The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:

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2. Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
   
3. Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
   
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5. Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
   

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He’s the Aquarius
I was with Sam for a few months and it was some of the best months of my life. I never had a more healthy relationship and it truly felt (feels?) like we were meant for each other.
Last time we hung out, we spent an entire weekend just hanging out at my house, opening up and it was just so intimate and caring. I’m pretty sure that was the time I knew i was falling in love. After that weekend he told me he would be busy the whole rest of the week with work. But i haven’t seen him since except for 20 min one day.
Week 1 - he worked every single day and got off at 11pm plus lives an hour away & lives with family who trips out on him when he gets home late. Didn’t see him. 1st weekend - he said he had to go be with his friend to help him with something related to his mom so he couldn’t come over.
Week 2 - he had to come into my town for something so he stopped by. He broke down in front of me saying his best friends mom just passed away the day before. I comforted him and after 20 minutes, he said he had to go back to his town to be with his friend. Rest of that week he had work, a dental surgery, and then the funeral. 2nd weekend - he said he was coming to spend the night after he got off work but then his mom started tripping out of him. He had to go straight home and told me he would try to see me during the week.
3rd week - this is the current week. Monday he was acting distant. Tuesday i started feeling weird and wednesday asked if we could talk. I asked him if there was something he wasn’t telling me and if he was still interested in pursuing a relationship with me. That i want to support him in any way but feel like I’m in the dark. He responded late at night by saying he doesn’t want me to feel like I’m on the back burner, that he’s had so much going on that he’s dealing with and feels like he should focus on himself bc he needs to work on some things. It has nothing to do with me, that I’ve shown nothing but love and patience but he doesn’t want to string me along.
I didn’t respond until Thursday morning and that conversation basically ended with me saying i needed my game console back bc i had family coming to visit with little kids and was going to use it as a distraction. At first he told me he would give it to a mutual friend that lives in his town but i told him he took it, he needs to bring it back. He told me he works doubles the rest of the week but is off Tuesday and will stop by.
Today, Friday, is the first day in since we met that we haven’t talked at least once. I haven’t reached out to him nor him reach out to me. I want to give him space to miss me and not see me being clingy. I was never clingy to begin with, i always gave him more than enough space but now that we aren’t talking, i feel like not contacting him is best.
Since earlier this week, his phone has been acting up. It seemed as if he turned his location services off bc his location wouldn’t show up when i checked but if i stayed in the app long enough, it would suddenly refresh to show his location and then automatically go back to saying no location found. Idk why his phone was doing that as this never happened before but i was still able to see his location even though it was acting weird.
Today, after not talking since Thursday afternoon, i check his location and i still had it. I took a nap and woke up and wanted to see if he was still at work. It suddenly said “Sam can see your location” which means he was no longer sharing his with mine. I went to our messages but no where did it say he stopped sharing. I was dumbfounded for about 10 minutes when suddenly, literally in front of my eyes, a notification shows up in our Messages saying “you stopped sharing locations with Sam at 11:37pm” I NEVER stopped sharing locations. It’s like our phones did it for us. But why did my unsharing show up but not his ?
Idk if he stopped sharing, idk why mine would even if did or if it’s a problem with the phones. He’s no longer on my friends list in the find my friends app. I don’t want to reach out to him either about it.
He’s an amazing guy and his actions proved he wanted a serious relationship with me. There was never a red flag with him. We were moving in the right direction and then suddenly he was slammed with so many unexpected things and untimely, that’s what separated us. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt and trying to tell myself that he feels guilty that he has so much going on and can’t make time for me that he rather just end things than make me feel like I’m not a priority at the moment. The first 2 weeks, having his location confirmed that he was always busy. It wasn’t that he didnt want to come see me but he just literally didn’t have the time. And then the 3rd week, idk what happened :( I didn’t have the option to go see him bc his parents are strict and it just wouldn’t have been the best idea. Who knows if he’ll really come on Tuesday to give me my game console back but he’s the type of person to not tell me things over text but open up in person. I’m holding onto hope that when he comes, we’ll be able to talk and he tell me what truly is going on. I have an intuition feeling he’s going thru something else he hasn’t told me about yet. But then the scared part of me says we’re over.
I miss him so much already. He was (is? 😭) my best friend and not talking to him feels weird. How do I approach this. I know better than to approach him right now saying i miss him and also know Aquarius can detach from their emotions. He could be missing me right now but won’t act on it or he could truly not care. I’m sad and confused.

Just had one of the worst experience with healthcare of my entire life. I am an Erasmus student in Sweden and this is my last month.
I was heading for a 50k Friday afternoon ride with my girlfriend. I cycled in a two lane roundabout in a small city on the outer lane, ready to take the third exit. Suddenly a car (SUV) turned from the inner lane to the exit. The car hit me on my left side and I crashed immediately. I smashed with my left side of the body on the concrete. I was able to get up, my girlfriend took my bike to the closest lawn next to the road. I was able to stand, but my legs were shaky and I sat on the lawn. The driver stopped and it felt like an hour until he got out of the car. I asked him immediately to call the ambulance.
Some time after the police arrived, handing me the phone to talk to the ambulance. They asked me multiple times how I feel. I stated that my entire body is hurting, especially my left hip, left elbow, left ankle. I cannot feel the fingers of my left hand. They wanted me elaborate the severeness of the injuries I took from the accident. Since my head was fine and I was not unconscious they decided to not send an ambulance. I was asked to call a taxi. I called three taxi companies, all three refused to take the bicycles or had no car available. I mentioned that I had an accident and wanted to be brought to the hospital. Afterwards the policemen had to meet, in order to decide if it was necessary to file a report. Obviously it was, a car hit a cyclist and a person was hurt. The policemen asked the two involved persons and my gf as a witness. My girlfriend and I had to take a train to go the the hospital.
Now I am sitting in the waiting room, wondering if this lack of healthcare will continue. I am extremely shocked that this is possible in an European country. In my home country the paramedics are coming when you cut your finger and no one is here to drive you.
What I wanted to ask you fellow (experienced) redditors:
I am afraid the accident affects my health in future, how can I make sure that my healthcare will be ensured?
The policemen stated, it looks like no one is at fault. My gf mentioned, I had no chance to avoid getting hit. The driver did not see me (look at me, turned his head, whatever). She described the accident, that I was spectacularly thrown over the hood of the car.
My health comes first, but I already booked a cycling trip for July.
My new cycling clothes are ripped. The brake levers are damaged. My back brake does not work properly anymore. The carbon frame has a scratch or could be cracked. How can I make sure that the frame will not fail catastrophically?
I am afraid that I have to pay for all the repairs. As I said I am a student and I cannot afford such a high cost at the moment. Should I seek legal support?

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https://reddit.com/link/145r94y/video/6uuawocjj45b1/player
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If you already have a budget, and there happens to be Cabernet Sauvignon in the corresponding grade, then I am here to recommend it to you. For friends who are trying red wine for the first time, Cabernet Sauvignon is a good choice with a high reputation! It can produce both excellent single variety wine and excellent blended wine, and its origin is in Bordeaux, France. You know, French wine is famous all over the world! Cabernet Sauvignon wines are darker in color and have great aging potential due to their higher phenolic content. It is rich in flavor substances, which makes it of good quality. It not only has rich fruity aroma, but also the flavor developed by the aging in the bottle for several years, which makes the grape itself, flavor substances, and the interaction between alcohol and oak , so that the tannin content is rich, and the color of the wine is deep and attractive.
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Yuncang Winery is a combination of Yuncang + Winery. It takes part of the traditional wine business online, supports offline business, and can also purchase online. You can buy what you want offline. Who is the supplier offline? Who is the online supplier? Suppliers provide Internet online services according to the traditional wine wholesale business. They can pick up goods in batches or send them one by one according to the order. Dealers do not advocate stockpiling except for wine for display, and they operate flexibly.

Salary: $116,000 - $160,000 The Tidepool Platform is the foundation of everything we do. As Backend Engineer, you will have a hand in maintaining our platform which is used by both our homegrown applications and an ecosystem of third-party applications.
In addition to your responsibilities as a Backend Engineer (which you will share with the Ops team), you will be a full member of the DevOps team, where you will participate in the on-call rotation for all backend services.
Essential Duties and Responsibilities Helping design, develop, deploy and maintain a secure, robust, scalable platform and infrastructure that enables Tidepool, third-party software developers, researchers, and others to bring their visions for diabetes data to life. Building new (Golang) backend services and maintaining existing (NodeJs and Golang) backend services. Being a part of our on-call rotation for operational alerts.
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Been together almost 4 years and live together. Our relationship is wonderful. The only thing I don’t give him is a love for anime and D&D. He’s been a DM since way before we met. I don’t like to play D&D because it’s incredibly boring for me 85% of the time and doesn’t spark my adhd. I’ve always respected his love for it. I try to listen to him talk about it, buy him themed gifts, and even enjoyed watching Vox Machina with him. I’ve done a couple one shots with him and it was relatively fun, but I don’t want to devote 4-5 hours of my life to that every other weekend.
I’ve never really cared that he played every other weekend and did some gamebuilding for a few hours through the week. If anything it gave me some alone time. However, that has recently changed. Some people at work asked if he would run a game for them and he agreed. It was three people and he decided he would rotate the weeks (play his original campaign of 4 on Saturday week A, and the new campaign group on Sunday Week B alternating like that). I told him before he agreed that it might be easier to just group the campaigns together but he said it would be too much work and bring him up to 7 people which was too big of group.
So now he’s spending double time gamebuilding and starts getting stressed. Then the three people found 2 more people. Then they brought in another one. Now he’s at 6 people. He asked his original campaign if they would be okay if he took a month off to avoid burnout and they said yes. It kind of annoys me because he said 6 was too big but here he is with 7. And 4 people taking 4-5 hours per game means 7 will probably turn into 6 on those weeks.
Every day after work from home he cooks and then gets on his laptop for 2-4 hours. I don’t want him to feel like he can’t do what he wants in his down time. He works hard and deserves it. I just feel like we are spending less and less time together now since we work during the day. We do eat dinner together but then he grabs his laptop and we get to cuddle and watch maybe 10 mins of tv before he goes to sleep. I also worry about being on the computer too much because he works tech and won’t leave his desk to walk during the day and then transitions to a laptop after 8 hours of work.
Yesterday we went to get dinner and he was on his discord app talking to a new player who needs help before the game on Saturday. As soon as we get home he tells me in 30 mins he has to get on video chat at 9pm to help. Says it’ll take an hour. Okay no problem. He doesn’t get done until 11:30pm.
Today he gets off work and starts helping another player. He doesn’t let me know. I just come downstairs and his door is closed and I hear him talking about D&D stuff. We’d agreed to cook together tonight because we’ve been too tired and busy with DM stuff the last few days but I didn’t want to bother him. I went and ran an errand at 5:45 and got food to eat. I got home at 7 and he had just finished. I’ve told him I don’t want to eat late because of my acid reflux and I would have been fine if he had just texted me earlier to let me know he would be jumping on a call.
I want to talk to him about everything but I don’t know how. I want to say “your game is taking over your time and affecting your mental health. It’s also annoying me.” Obviously I’m not going to put it that way but what do I say? He’s already bummed out and if I say it in the wrong way it’ll seem like I’m kicking him while he’s down after losing players the last few years. Basically he’s had players come and go and it really saddened him since this is a huge part of his life. The last player from his original campaign before he brought new people in just left. Then this new campaign opportunity came together a couple weeks ago and perked him up. Now he’s just consumed by it. Please give me advice. Is it something we should have discussed before he committed to it or would that have been controlling? I had some worry he would overwhelm himself but I didn’t think it would get so bad.

Firstly let me say I recognize other folks are experiencing worse things and in relation my stuff is small potatoes.
So with that being said here’s a list of things I’m going through today that I am going to bitch about in no particular order.
I’m on 1,000mg of metformin a day. With that comes some urgency to use the restroom. I work on the second floor of a building. In my rush into the office this morning going up those steps to get to said bathroom I pulled a leg muscle. Hurts like the dickens. Metformin can also dehydrate you, so I’m drinking a ton of water.
Then later this morning I had to take day 1 of 50mg of clomid. I’ve been on it once before and it didn’t work so the idea is that coupling it with the metformin will. The side effects I’m having today are excess saliva, hot flashes, fatigue and winded. Those didn’t start until this evening but still.
I was having a rough day and I thought this afternoon as a little treat I would get myself a little NAME BRAND COFFEE from the drive through. I forgot to click decaf. Realized 3/4 of the way through the drink.
Got home and tried to vacuum the living room, could not manage it. I got hot, winded, had to chug water only to literally drool it onto myself after I almost threw up so my husband took over.
I am trying to be gentle on my body while I’m taking these meds but I didn’t think the combo of both meds (and my pulled leg) day one would knock me down so hard.
So it’s 1:00 a.m. EST and I’m wide awake with a hair appointment at 7am tomorrow.
Which brings me to controlling the things we can control while trying not to let the things we can’t take over. I’m chopping all my hair in the morning like I like to do in the summer but I’m also considering an eye brow slit (the hair) and finally piercing my ears for the first time.
I think that’s all the bitching I needed to do. Thanks for listening.
TLDR: Insomnia sucks. Clomid/metformin combo is kicking my butt. I pulled a leg muscle and I’m being a baby about it, rightfully.

I (31f) could go into a plethora of details about what type of abuse was occuring but it would be as long winded as my relationship was and wouldn't get any of us anywhere.
This person (30m) and I met organically. They used lots of pitty ploys to get me to drop my defenses and allow them to operate in the way abusers do .
Being that I come from an abusive upbringing I've always struggled with codependency and wanting to save people. There are 4 trauma responses," fight , flight , freeze or fawn." I am a fawner , that means I go straight into people pleasing mode . That in combination with having ADHD means I fixate on things that give me dopamine.
I'll feed into something drastically and sometimes because of my anxiety surrounding the shame I feel about not functioning as well as others I'll sometimes be "quirky" . We all remember the kid who was a little hyper and annoying but if they were entertaining we'd put up with them , right ? Pair that with abandonment issues and you've got someone who puts their needs on the back burner for acceptance.
Well that's who I became into adulthood which honestly doesn't function well in most adult relationships. I tend to isolate myself a bit because for a while I felt a need to be secretive about my taboo choice of profession until I started going back to school (unmedicated, it was so difficult) and learned a skill set & started focusing on who I want to be vs who I was for survival.
So I find myself in this relationship with someone who was consistently playing into my sensitivities and would intentionally pick fights with me to avoid being held accountable for things. Also this gave them the opportunity to become the hero after being the villain seeing as they were the only person that I was getting affection from.
As much as I didn't want to react even though they would instigate I genuinely couldn't help it. When they would break up with me suddenly I would break down crying right then and there and beg them not to leave. Eventually through my own strength and just the monotony of it happening over and over again I wouldn't react as strongly but there were still certain events on the timeline that would trigger me.
I started my journey in getting a diagnosis over a year ago and it only happened (now) because I needed somebody who was close to me to tell my therapist what my habits were. Luckily this guy had been living with me so he was able to do it and it's probably the best thing that came from that relationship. I was able to get medicated and the first couple of days it was kind of difficult adjusting.
I had taken this medication as a teenager and a child growing up and I remembered it made me feel very empty inside and I didn't enjoy that but I also lived in a home where I wasn't allowed to have my own identity.
I began to notice that the lack of feeling anxiety and shame and not being quirky wasn't necessarily a bad thing and genuinely was working in my favor. I noticed that the things that I got my dopamine fix from we're no longer interesting and I was able to actually focus on what was going on around me.
I decided that this feeling was not me "lacking something" but the opportunity to fill it with things that I actually enjoy. Thanks to some research I did on Reddit in regards to side effects of the medicine. I noticed when people suggested to view it in that way and when I did everything changed. It became extremely apparent that my environment was what amplified the feelings of emptiness , as a child and now .
Cut to the event at hand. There I am in a dispute with this person and he's trying to bait me and antagonize me and all I'm doing is just looking at him and giving clear responses. No emotional outbursts, no fawning, no quirky jokes to lighten the mood.
He starts to say that I am seeming like a very different person. Whilel I do understand that that must be very scary for someone to feel like they're losing a person that they love because they're medicated and it is possible that parts of my personality were manufactured out of survival.
I was still the same person, just less reactive and less accommodating.
I started feeling like I had a superpower and I made sure I took my medicine every day. We did have conversations about him feeling uncomfortable and I did try to do other things with him... But the thing is is that he never really got to know me as a person and I wouldn't say that's necessarily my fault it's more that he just wasn't as invested as he claimed to be.
I truly believe that this medicine gave me the capability to stand up for myself. Of course that means that the abuse started escalating. We did try couples counseling but mainly he's just really obsessed with getting revenge on people and uses justifications to go out and do things behind my back. He was putting my health at risk and was putting me in a financial bind.
Overall we just weren't very compatible and I do have a restraining order against this person now but they still try to contact me and keep trying to remind me about all the fun times we had when I was "cooking and cleaning for him".
I have two sets of therapists and I'm working on holding myself accountable for what got me in this situation and how I'm going to process these feelings going forward.
Throughout a lot of breakups I've had I've fixated on people for an unhealthy amount of time even if they hurt me. But this time I don't feel that way at all and I really do think it's because of my Adderall. I avoided getting medicated and I self-medicated for a long time because my mom used prescriptions as a way to control me growing up. I grew up in a fundamental Christian household which also lends to me being a little naive and vulnerable when it comes to controlling men. I've never considered myself the "trad-wife" type but I've definitely been given the blueprints for it. At this point in life I would love to just move out to the sticks ,be a spinster and adopt a duck, a couple of dogs and take my cats with me but financially that doesn't seem plausible.
He abused me in every single way that somebody could. I would urge everybody on this planet to read the book , "Why does he do that ?" By Lundy Bancroft.
P.s. I now have a restraining order against him and luckily when I take my medicine I don't feel like I'm dying inside (because of the separation).
Ltdr: boyfriend's been abusing me for the past year. I'm a typical quirky fawning codependent person. Taking Adderall helped me drop the persona and start taking things more seriously by not allowing me to fixate on the things that gave me dopamine. He said he didn't like who I was becoming because I wasn't reacting to his antagonizing behaviors.

Hey everyone,
I wanted to get some feedback from everyone’s perspective here on my particular situation and whether it’s worth leaving my job or not for an internship, especially in regard to the current job market climate.
I currently work at a big biotech company in QC and make $73,000 / year as my base salary. I also have 53 shares that are expected to vest in November which will be approx. $11,000. I would be up for another merit review in March 2024 where I could get at most, $30,000 in RSU that vests over 4 years. My WLB is pretty good and my job has been very flexible with my work schedule since I’m still in school for my graduate degree. I am able to work from home a bit, depending on workload, and would say the ratio is about 90/10 for onsite/remote. Although these are huge advantages, I was promoted last quarter and have been in my role for close to 2 years…I don’t really see myself growing much more here and I am not wiling to wait X amount of time for another promotion as I already feel that I am underpaid. My next promotion would likely take another 2 years and would take me to around $90,000 base salary / year. With continued RSU grants, I could see this going over > $100,000 / year, assuming I can get the next promotion. Another caveat is that I know I don’t want to work in a lab for the rest of my career. I’ve already worked in a lab space for approximately 4 years (including my last 2 jobs). I am ready to try something new and think this internship I got would be a great way for me to do that. I recently was offered an internship at Tesla at a pay rate of $39.38 / hour with a 1.5x rate for OT in Texas where there is no state income tax. I also have been offered a $2800 (net/after tax) relocation bonus. From what I’ve learned about the internship so far, it would also be centered around QC in a lab doing analytical testing of raw materials.
Now, in order to do this internship, I would need to either A) quit my job or B) take an unpaid leave of absence (assuming I can get one for ~4.5 months which honestly seems unlikely to me even though I think my management really likes me). If I accept the internship and am unable to get the leave of absence from work, I would be forgoing the 53 RSUs that are expected to vest in November (approx. $11,000 valuation) as my internship starts before that. I’d also need to pay back $11,700 in tuition reimbursement that I have received from my current company, though I wouldn’t have to pay this amount back all at once.
I know from a purely financial perspective, this decision makes no sense as I’d be giving up a lot of money and losing my job security. With this in mind, I feel like accepting the internship would be loss in the short term, but a gain for me in the long term. I think my potential earnings would be greater with experience from a company like Tesla vs if I stay in my current role at my current company. Furthermore, I think it would give me connections to advance my career later down the line when I finish school. I also recognize going from one lab job to another seems counter to what I previously said about not wanting my career to be centered around lab work anymore, but I think getting the analytical experience with Tesla is worth it as I could leverage it to secure a better job than I have now. I also don’t have analytical lab experience so I’d be adding even more skills to my current repertoire(currently automation/library prep/sequencing focused).
I’ve been struggling with this decision for a bit and I’d love any and all feedback from everyone’s perspective on this! Thanks in advance!